Dallas, Texas

July 1978

There was a lot of blood, more than she'd anticipated, and the pain was far worse than she'd expected. This wasn't comparable to monthly cramps or a sickly stomach; this was horrifyingly, unbearably distressing. It was surely working, but at what cost? The piercing pain was one thing, but the light-headedness was another. She just wanted her body back; she didn't want to keep giving, not when she hadn't planned to do so again so soon. What she didn't want was to not live long enough to feel any kind of freedom.

She looked up at the clock on the bathroom wall, watching it tick slowly. Her vision blurred as she tried to follow the hands, not realising she was losing consciousness, until she awoke on the bathroom floor, her robe stained and soaked through.

Sitting up, she managed to get onto her hands and knees, crawling out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Incredibly tired and weak, she dialled the three numbers.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Relieved she'd managed it, she murmured into the phone, "Ambulance. Suite 745 at the Singletree."

"Yes ma'am, what's your emergency?"

"Bleeding."

"Bleeding where? Are you alone? Ma'am?"

She lost her grip on the handset, hearing the operator's voice as if from a distance, but she had no strength left to respond.

"Ma'am? Are you still there?"

She was still there, but only just. Even the hotel suite felt distant.

"Ma'am?"

"Family of Mrs Sue Ellen Ewing?"

Standing to approach the woman in blue, whether a doctor or nurse, he wasn't sure, JR's heart pounded as he waited for her to speak again. He was in the hospital waiting room, tense and anxious.

"We're family. How are they? Sue Ellen and the baby?"

His daddy stood up beside him, shocking JR with his next question.

"How do you know about the baby?"

They hadn't announced Sue Ellen was expecting again; she wasn't exactly in the mood to feign happiness. But his daddy knew, and JR was certain it wasn't because Sue Ellen had told him.

"She's had morning sickness for a while now, hasn't she?" his daddy asked.

Before JR could respond, the lady in blue delivered news neither of them had been prepared to hear.

"I'm sorry, sir. Mrs Ewing lost the baby."

"Oh."

JR had hoped things would be okay, that Sue Ellen was healthy and they'd be able to save the baby. But hope wasn't magic; hope didn't actually change anything.

"And Sue Ellen?"

"She's lost a lot of blood and will need to return for an outpatient check-up in a few weeks, but I believe she'll recover physically."

He didn't really know how losing a baby so early worked, but the mention of significant blood loss didn't sound good. Sue Ellen survived month after month losing blood, but this had to be different, the way the woman spoke made it sound different.

"Are you Mrs Ewing's husband?"

"Yes."

Nodding, he noticed his daddy's slight flinch, unsure of why it had happened and uneasy about it.

"May we speak in private?"

"Excuse us."

Glancing at his daddy, JR stepped away with the woman, bracing himself for the worst. If it was just standard news, she wouldn't have asked for privacy.

"There's more, isn't there?"

"We have reason to believe Mrs Ewing did not miscarry spontaneously."

The words hit him hard. He knew what they meant, but what did they mean in relation to his wife?

"Why do you say that?"

"There were clear signs of deliberate interference. Mrs Ewing's injuries were consistent with induced trauma. The EMTs reported she was drifting in and out of consciousness, distressed that she hadn't waited long enough, and that they were going to try and save the baby."

Feeling nauseous, he closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

"My wife did this purposely?"

Sue Ellen hadn't been thrilled to find out she was expecting again. After John Ross' birth, she'd taken a long time to come around to motherhood. But he'd never thought it would come to this, that she'd take such drastic measures to change her circumstances.

"I can't say for sure, but the evidence points in that direction. For this reason, I'd like to hold her for a psychiatric evaluation in addition to her physical recovery."

If Sue Ellen had deliberately harmed their baby, then she needed more than just a psychiatric evaluation, but it was a good place to start.

"Can I see her?"

"She's sedated, but you can go in for a few minutes. Please, be gentle with her. If she did this, and if she did it the way we suspect, she wasn't in the right frame of mind."

There was no doubt she wasn't in the right frame of mind. Sane people didn't induce a miscarriage. In fact, there was a word for what she'd done, and it wasn't one he'd ever heard his wife use before.

He could understand taking care of things when circumstances weren't ideal; he'd even suggested such actions himself in the past. But there were doctors who performed those procedures, no one needed to do whatever it was Sue Ellen had done in a hotel bathroom, almost succumbing to the same fate as their baby had.

She'd been reckless, and for that, he was angry, for himself and for John Ross. She'd been emotional too, and for that, he was upset. She could have talked to him. They could have worked through it together. She didn't have to do what she'd done, and now it all seemed like such a waste.

Psychiatric help was just what she needed. But before he checked her into a private clinic, he needed to see her, to touch her, to know she was still with them.

"Thank you."

"Room 422."