Makoto is a mother.
"Representing the Empress, Saint Monica was the mother of Augustine of Hippo. After driving her son away from home for expressing his Manichaean views, she later received a vision that convinced her to reconcile with him. Monica then went on a quest to search for her son, never giving up on him, and persevered in many trials and tribulations until Augustine finally converted."
[5 Years Ago]
The whole gang was going to gather in Leblanc for Haru and Yusuke's baby shower.
Their friends were a strange pair. By far, they were probably the most accomplished of the Phantom Thieves besides Ann, who was an international top model, or Sumire, who was an olympic athlete.
Their marriage ceremony a few years back was a traditional, shinto style wedding, with all pomp and circumstance. Yusuke's old fashioned traditional japanese man aesthetic fit well with Haru's elegant businesswoman with modern ideals style. Makoto had enjoyed herself greatly, traditional attire and all, holding a cute baby Yukino in her arms the whole ceremony and at the reception.
More recently, the Okumuras held a disastrously hilarious gender reveal party for their baby, where the servants were almost force feeding people with pastries, coffee and tea, while Yusuke painted.
The guests had to watch him work in quiet, awkward silence as he painted a pink and green mural of summer flowers in homage to their upcoming baby girl, while his wife observed the proceedings with sadistic amusement as the guests squirmed at the necessary quietness for the peace of the painter.
Ryuji even told the couple after that they should've just started a fire instead, as it was expected of normal gender reveal parties nowadays. Ann smacked him for it.
Of course, she was apprised of the ridiculous outcome of the party thanks to Futaba's embellished retellings. Makoto couldn't attend the infamous party since she was sadly occupied taking care of a sick, small Aki-kun. Of course, her friends understood her, even if they were severely taken aback, shocked and disappointed at the fact that she just had a kid and told nobody of it.
…She didn't mean to keep others in the dark, but explaining the full extent of her and Akio's situation to everyone was just too much, too painful. Being a single mother was too rough for her as it was. Sae and Takkun knew the whole story, and that was because they had to run a serious intervention. Futaba knew some of it, but not the darkest parts that she didn't dare talk about.
She wasn't ready to open up. It was still too fresh and raw.
Shaking herself away from her contemplations and steeling herself to calm her nerves, she entered the café with her baby boy in her arms.
Everyone was already inside. Ann was the first to spot her, and she brightened up at seeing Makoto, bringing everyone's attention to her.
"Makoto!" Her friend rushed to greet her happily. "I missed you so much, we haven't met in person in too long!"
She smiled apologetically as she hugged the blonde back. "Hey Ann, I missed you too. Sorry to be a stranger. I had a lot going on in these few years."
She greeted everyone else one by one, noticing Ren's cold, distant disposition. She pursed her lips, but decided to ignore his hostile looks. She knew that the last time they properly talked to each other was a pretty pathetic situation.
Even his wife was warmer and nicer to her, even if she clearly felt uncomfortable with Makoto too.
"Oh, your son is so cute!" Ann gushed. Then she pouted. "I can't believe we missed you having a baby, though!"
Behind Ann, she saw Futaba toss her a knowing look. Makoto cringed violently. Right. How to even…
"It's complicated…" She said, wincing, with a sharp joint of pain at the reminder of the early days of the pregnancy, the joys, the hope, and the sadness that eventually followed. She didn't want to talk about it.
She would probably ruin the entire baby shower if she did.
"I'll give you guys the full story one day."
"Take your time. We are just happy you're with us again." Yusuke said, smiling serenely. At his side, Haru nodded and gave her a friendly, happy smile.
"Congratulations, Yusuke, Haru. I can't wait to meet your little one as well!" She said sincerely.
"Thank you, Mako-chan!"
Pregnancy suited Haru well. She looked positively enchanting and her happiness was contagious, even if the kid was going to pop out any day now. Yusuke was a proud husband who couldn't shut up about his muse all day. They couldn't tell if he was just being good, old eccentric Yusuke, or if he was just a man in love. Maybe both.
She handed her baby to Futaba, who started to rock him back and forth while making some cooing noises. Akio loved her friend ever since the first time he saw her, so she often encouraged Futaba to be around him.
Ren sent her a disconcerted look, which she ignored.
Her sister and her family arrived, and she felt relieved to at least have another ally other than Futaba in there.
"Buchi-pal!" Her little niece, five year old Yukino, screeched happily upon seeing her, running in her direction.
Makoto crouched down to pick her up. "Hey, my Snowball. Look at you! You're too big and heavy already, love."
Her niece pouted at being called heavy, but Makoto smiled in amusement. Yunchan had been giving her the cold shoulder for months in the past year when she learned she wasn't going to be the only precious kid in Makoto's life anymore. She had to reassure her little niece they would always be Buchi-pals. Eiko, with her usual sillines, helped sell Yunchan on the idea.
She smiled bittersweetly. Time passes too fast.
The rest of the celebration was uneventful. Everyone doted on Haru, Aki-kun and Makoto herself. It was actually quite nice and she felt like a fool for not coming around as much.
…Not that she could have, in her previous circumstances.
Soon it was time to leave. She gave everyone her goodbyes. Takkun and Sae offered to drive her and Aki-kun home, which she accepted.
But she was intercepted by Ren outside Leblanc. It was just the two of them, sis, Yunchan and Takuto out in the street. The others had already left, and Futaba was inside the café with Sumire and Boss.
"We need to talk." He said, coldly.
She furrowed her eyebrows, not liking his tone of voice.
She handed Aki-kun to her sister and told her she would catch up to them in a bit. Sae pursed her lips, but relented, dragging a concerned Takuto and a clueless Yukino away towards their car parked several streets away from Leblanc.
It was just the two of them now.
"What is it?" She asked bluntly.
"...Is he mine?"
She furrowed her eyebrows in just plain confusion, not registering his question properly.
"What?" She asked. Maybe she heard wrong?
"Your baby. Is he my son?" He asked her with urgency.
"Of course not. That's just impossible!" She told him firmly, taken aback at his sudden questioning.
Ren didn't seem to believe her.
"What about that night? The dates - they sort of match up. I made the calc."
Well, he was right, but…
"We might have been both pretty drunk that day, but I'm pretty sure I would've remembered if I had sex with someone." She seethed.
He let out a mocking chuckle. "Are you sure? You looked pretty out of it when we came to our senses in that love hotel room."
That pissed her off.
She bristled. "I wasn't the one who suggested going there, you fucking dipshit. And you drank just as much as I did."
Ren looked furious and disappointed with her abrasiveness.
Eiko would be so proud of her for not taking shit from him. She taught Makoto some language skills that would make even her sister blush in indignation.
Makoto changed. Life has chewed her on and spit out only the remains.
"Listen," She started, trying her best not to cry at the painful reminder that she was alone now. "No, you are not the father of my son. There is just no way."
He stared at her, angered and hurt, then stepped closer to her, eyes full of venom. "So you just slept around, huh?" He spat out, his tone jealous.
She gave him a slap.
"How dare you!?" She screeched.
The commotion was so great, that it attracted Sumire, Futaba and even Sojiro from out of Leblanc the moment she shouted. She didn't give a damn if they overheard them. Hell, she hoped this ruined him in front of his family.
This stupid, selfish, bastard of a man, who kept taking more and more of her soul until she was nothing but an empty husk.
"You corner me, interrogate me and then pass judgment, as if you know everything! Some fucking leader you are!"
He clutched his cheek, but didn't seem to back down. "Because you have been keeping things from us! You literally arrived with a kid today, while nobody even KNEW you were having a child in the first place!"
"Well, excuse me! I'm pretty sure that trying so freaking hard to stay sober while I wait for my son to come out is too petty of a reason to keep to myself, right?"
He took a step back, eyes wide, face full of horror.
"Makoto, I-"
"What? Why are you looking so surprised? Didn't you realize I became an alcoholic? You should have seen the signs that day!"
He stayed quiet, looking pale and appalled.
She started to sob. She felt a pair of tiny arms enclose her. She knew it was Futaba.
"You think you know better than everyone else Ren. That we should all gravitate towards you with every single problem in life, like lost little ducklings. But guess what, you bastard!? You are not that important!"
Futaba petted her hair. She leaned against her friend.
"Sometimes, Ren Amamiya, you can't solve every problem. Sometimes… YOU yourself are the problem!"
Futaba hugged her tighter and she succumbed to her tiny arms.
She closed her eyes, shutting the world out. Eventually, she found that her brother in law returned to Leblanc to see what was holding her up, and seeing her catatonic, clutching to Futaba, he picked her up and took her to their car. She had just shut down.
In her distressed state, her mind ran in circles. She could only remember those eyes. Their constant, disrespectful, silly banters, calling each other derogatory names. The difficult days they spent preparing for their Akio to arrive, while Makoto struggled with keeping away from her addiction for the sake of the baby. The happy days that followed, where she started to believe in life again.
But Makoto was alone now. She was left behind again.
She wants it all back.
[The Present Day]
That morning, Ren had an appointment in the Okumura Foods headquarters, and as the Prime minister's personal assistant and speechwriter, he had to be there for the press coverage, as Yoshida and Haru would both give interviews. The security was going to be tight, but he knew it was going to be a very productive event.
Just before leaving home, he and Sumi spent some time together during breakfast. She was chirpy and happy again, and he decided to not poke at the hornet's nest, so he just kissed her on the lips and left for his appointment.
Arriving at the headquarters and passing the security check, Ren swiftly took the elevator, making his way to Haru's office. He was already a well known friendly visitor, so he was easily let in by Haru's secretary. That often only happened if she didn't have any current appointments.
Entering his friend's office, he was met with her smiling on the phone, speaking to someone animatedly.
She looked up at him and motioned for him to sit, which he did.
"-Yes, we can do that next week. Though I'm pretty sure we best wait for a catalog to arrive before we pick a style. Yes. I know darling, I know you detest those. Well? Oh love... Look, you already have a lot going on with the gallery. No. Oh, fine. Well, ask Mona-chan, maybe? He is actually very good with these. Mhm hm. Okay, that is a good compromise. Alright. I have to go now, my cuckoo flower." Haru inspected her nails, a cute smile on her face. She blushed, then purred. "Oh Yusuke, you fiend…Just you wait until tonight. Yes, my cheeseweed. Talk to you later. Goodbye, love you too honeysuckle."
Throughout all of this, Ren just grimaced. Yusuke and Haru were a weirdly funny couple. She would often come up with these out of the orbit nicknames, while Yusuke started to write 14th century medieval French style poetry to honor his wife. It was pretty over the top, but he found it to be sincere, and even cute, when it didn't make everyone in their surroundings cringe at their eccentricities.
Contrasting that, was his and Sumi's relationship of quiet domesticity. Or Sae ordering Maruki into doing whatever she wanted. Or Ann failing at ordering Ryuji to do the same for her.
He didn't know if Futaba had any relationships, she seemed to keep to herself, which worried him at times.
He also wondered about that woman. How her and Akio's father got along.
…Ren violently shook himself away from his thoughts. He shouldn't go there.
"Hi, Ren-kun! My apologies for making you wait. Yusuke and I are planning on redecorating, but he hates everything." She told him apologetically.
He wasn't surprised. Yusuke could be picky when things didn't fit his sense of aesthetic.
"No worries. Just coming to check, before we leave for the press conference."
She beamed at him, and they started to discuss the intricacies of the work.
Haru was a well known philanthropist in Tokyo. Recently she partnered up with Tokyo University to offer funds for food security and ethical, ecological cultivation research. She also started a new sponsored culinary chef trainee program for people living in vulnerable situations, with opportunities focused on prioritizing single parents and orphans.
It was honestly wonderful.
Of course, Haru was smart to know that she had to make sure to not alienate the other shareholders in the process, so she often allowed the conglomerate to expand on the Big Bang Burger side of things, within reason so long as she oversaw the final details to make sure they weren't doing anything too predatory. She confessed she loathed it, but she had given incentives to her fellow executives and the Japanese government to want to adopt her ideas.
A little cutthroat of Haru, but he loved her for it.
He and Haru had to discuss the contents of the press conference. As Prime Minister Yoshida's personal speechwriter, Ren had to make sure he was on the same page of the subjects and create a clear, communicative message. He enjoyed it.
"So, let's get started?" She asked him in a pleasant tone.
He nodded, and they got to work. It was fruitful and enjoyable, Haru had truly grown. He was happy that he could see her reaching her maximum potential like this.
After they finished, he stayed for some tea.
"You should stop by the house tomorrow. We're going to help Aki-kun build his science fair exhibit. And I bet Rei-chan would love to see her uncle Ren too."
Ren considered her offer. Hanna did give him advice on that front. To spend time with his friends with kids, and to ask for their perspective.
But…Her son would be there. And he didn't want to cause trouble for Haru.
"Are you sure that is wise? I don't want to cause any issues between you and her, for being around Akio."
He saw Haru's soft and kind features twist into an irritated one. Probably at his refusal to say her name.
"Makoto," She started sternly. "And I have an understanding. We spend a lot of time with Aki-kun. I'll explain the situation to her later."
Ren felt a little disconcerted. "She seemed to instruct Futaba into not letting her kid near me, though." He grunted.
"Well, she doesn't want Aki-kun to get attached to you, and get hurt in the process because 'mommy does not like uncle Ren'. She isn't doing this to get back at you, she is doing this to protect her son." Haru told him honestly.
"...Or maybe she is projecting her own feelings onto the child." He said a little bitterly.
Haru smiled ironically. "Even if that is partially true, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you pushing her into confessing her struggles with alcoholism in the middle of the streets of Yongen-Jaya."
Ren tensed. He loved Haru. She rarely went shark-like, and yet, when she did, she destroyed you.
"I'm sorry. I just… I don't want our personal fallout to affect everyone." He told her.
Haru shook her head sadly. "It has already affected us all."
Ren was devastated. "...I know. I never wanted to fight with her. I just wished she had trusted me, is all. She didn't have to hide that pain from us for so long."
Haru gave him a soul deep look of pity.
"Ren-kun, sometimes we can't solve everyone's problems, and the best we can do is be there for them when they need us. Ultimately, we cannot push her into coming back to the group as she used to. Let's leave her alone, she has a right to live her life in peace after everything she has been through."
He sighed and then nodded. "Alright. I guess I could use some time to wind down a bit, and spend it with you guys."
Haru grinned. "Excellent."
Arriving home late from an eventful day, Ren sat down on his living room couch. Sumi was sleeping peacefully in their bedroom, and he didn't want to disturb her. She had to wake up early to start her coaching.
His thoughts turned to the ghost of her.
The last time they properly talked before their fallout, she confessed to quitting being a police officer but didn't go into detail why. That actually saddened him. She had a bright future, and he was so proud of every single one of her former achievements. But suddenly, something happened, and she changed.
She kept her distance, rarely appearing, if at all.
None of his friends seemed to know why either. But to a certain degree, what puzzled him and irritated him more, was the fact that nobody cared to ask. He remembers when he scolded Yusuke for it. In response, the man merely told him that they had to wait for their friend to be ready to tell them, at her own pace, and just be there for her instead whenever she wanted them around.
…But he had wanted her to come to him, no matter when, no matter what. He had vowed to always be there for her, for his team. Tears started to come to the corners of his eyes.
She didn't come to him at all.
He felt worried, sad, worked up for months, and he didn't understand why she abandoned him.
As if a ghost of Raoul still existed in him, a voice in his mind said. 'You do. You chose another woman instead.'
Ren swiftly picked up his phone. He needed to get her out of his mind.
"Thanks for reaching out to the Confessional. My name is Hanna, and I will be your personal priestess today." Her angelic voice echoed out.
"Hi Hanna. Um, It's me again." He said awkwardly.
"Hi, my dear confessor. It's a joy to hear from you again." She said with a joyful, sweet disposition.
Oh, Hanna… She remembered him!
He smiled a little.
"I was wondering… Is there a way for me to identify myself without, you know, giving away my personal info?"
"Hmm… Why don't we use a codename, dear confessor?" She suggested, after humming to herself.
A codename… Just like in the metaverse. He liked it.
"Well, what do you suggest, my priestess?" He said playfully.
She chuckled, sounding amused. "How about colors? It's very simple and should work well."
"Hmm that sounds good actually. Eh, maybe Red?"
"Sounds wonderful. Very nice to meet you, Mr. Red!"
He smiled, an awfully goofy one. Then he frowned, remembering his problems.
"I would like to make a confession."
"I'm here for your troubles, my dear confessor." She said gently.
God, her voice… She made him feel ready to bare his soul until he was nothing but a husk of a man.
"I'm afraid of not being good enough to help solve the problems of my friends. I had a friend that had struggled in their life, while I was blissfully unaware of it. I feel like I may not have done enough for this person, and that pains me to my soul."
"That sounds like a very tough situation. Please, feel free to open your heart, my dear." She told him, voice full of compassion and warmth.
"I am not ready to talk about the person in question, but… I believe I may have developed a need to try to save others from their pain. And when I fail, it breaks me, because it is as if I haven't done enough. I used to let them come to me out of their own volition, but… I fear my wait and inaction may have cost this person a lot."
…Holy shit, he almost sounded like how Maruki used to.
Hanna seemed quiet for a time. Then, she sighed.
"I see… my dear confessor, what do you know of the Messiah?"
"Um, admittedly, not much, just very basic, common sense knowledge."
And also that time he and Yusuke spent in the Kanda church trying to capture the passion of Christ, but he feared that goofiness may offend her.
"Then let me tell you a story. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, once made the perfect analogy in the Parable of the Sower. Have you ever heard of it?"
"No. Can you tell me about it?"
"Mhm hm. A farmer once went to sow his seeds. As he scattered, some fell along the road, but carrion birds came to eat it up. Some fell on rocky grounds, where the soil was so shallow they took quickly, but eventually were scorched by the sun, and withered without strong roots," Hanna seemed to pause in her tale, likely contemplating about something. She was a wonderful storyteller. "Others fell among the thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Even through all of that, some seeds fell on good soil, and produced a healthy, majestic crop. Can you comprehend what the analogies mean?"
"Hmm… Somewhat, I believe I am seeing it, but I cannot fully put it into words."
"Very well. Each soil represents different kinds of people who respond in many ways to the same message. Most of them reject for various reasons beyond the control of the sower. Only the person who is receptive and willing to embrace the seed, is able to allow it to take root."
"I see… That's really a wonderful analogy."
"Our Lord is wise and gracious. So, think of this in the context of your friends and those who you wish to help. Maybe their circumstances are beyond your control. You may be the sower, yes, but you are not the soil. They are, and it's up to them to embrace the seeds. So for now continue to sow the seeds, but let those choose when to let it take root. Does that make some sense to you?"
Ren found himself smiling. It was strange, because in hindsight, this is something he should have known about already, but it seemed like he lost sight of it. The analogy helped, and ironically, he could understand Yusuke's words better now.
He had to let her come to him out of her own volition. When he tried to confront her, it only served to push her even further away.
"Perfectly Hanna. This was very enlightening and humbling. Thank you for the kind teachings."
"These teachings are not mine, but from the Messiah himself. I hope the message was comforting to your troubles." By her tone of voice, he could tell she had a smile on her face.
He felt a warmth in his chest, imagining it. What did she look like?
Against his will, his mind conjured the image of soft, short and rich brown hair, an elegantly shaped face and deep red, passionate crimson eyes.
His heart stopped. No, stop thinking about her.
"My dear confessor?" Hanna gently prodded him when he didn't say anything back.
"Ah- I'm sorry Hanna. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts."
"That's quite understandable. Do you wish to talk about it?" She asked, voice full of care and compassion. His heart melted.
"I… No, I don't think so. Not yet…"
Hanna was pure kindness. "That's alright. But we're here for all your troubles."
He felt happier, even though a part of him was still haunted by the ghost of her.
"Thank you Hanna. You are wonderful. I must go now, but… This was helpful. You have my gratitude."
"We at The Confessional are more than happy and grateful to have you here. We're just one call away."
"I'm glad for that. Goodnight, Hanna."
"Sweet dreams, my dear Mr. Red." She whispered to him sweetly.
He hung up the call, and immediately, he felt his heart clenching with longing.
He had to stop this. Or else…
Or else he might end up like a seed planted in the wrong soil, left to wither as soon as the sun came up.
To be continued…