Makoto is conventional.

"Representing the Hierophant, Benedict of Nursia is the father of Western Christian Monasticism and is the patron saint of Europe. He created a set of rules for his monks to follow, which later became incredibly influential for the entirety of the christendom. He inspired a balance between spiritual zeal and attending to the communal needs of the monks."

[11 Years Ago]

"Girl!" Her friend Eiko screeched out from the other side of the line, sounding excited "You won't believe just who was asking about you last week at Emi-chan's party!"

Makoto grimaced at her friend's volume. "Who?"

"Hiroshi! Oh. My. God! He was the hottest guy in our year! He kept pestering me for your number!" Eiko squealed with crazy excitement.

The brunette rubbed her temples, feeling irritated. "...Please, tell me you didn't do that. I hope, for your own sake, that you didn't."

"Duh! Of course not, who do you think I am, you dumb bitch?"

"Can you NOT refer to me like that either? I severely dislike you calling me names. It's disrespectful and demeaning." Makoto scolded her, feeling genuinely offended.

"Baby WAKE UP! We're in the modern times! It's not meant to disrespect you, it's a form of female empowerment! We take it back so no asshole can hurt us with it!"

"I'm pretty sure it only enables men to treat us that way." She countered, unamused.

She could feel Eiko roll her eyes on the other side despite being unable to see it. "They can call me a bitch all day and I won't feel a thing, I know my worth! But the second I call them out for their small dick attitudes they'll go crying like little bitches themselves. Talk about double standards!"

Eiko changed into a more independent, confident young woman throughout the years. Her naivety, low self-esteem and poor taste in men made way instead for assertiveness, a strong attitude and sexual liberation that sometimes bordered on recklessness.

Well, it wasn't like Makoto was exactly judging Eiko. She too, had her own spirit of rebellion in other ways, and followed her own path. But even still, she was a bit more conventional and conforming by comparison. She was more orderly and preferred to portray herself with a bit more grace and dignity, whereas Eiko was carefree and able to fully express herself.

"How on earth am I even your friend…" Makoto muttered exasperated.

"Because you love me! Honestly, if I weren't such a straight ass slut, I'd propose to you!"

"Eiko!" Makoto hissed, scandalized at her friend's crazy statements.

"No, seriously! You concocted that dumbass plan just to get me away from a creep. That shit was, like, borderline romantic!" She gushed.

Makoto groaned. "I hate you."

"Love you too, baby girl. Now, I know you're still pining for that asshole ex-fake boyfriend of yours, so I didn't give your number to Hiro-kun. But you should SERIOUSLY consider going out with someone. You know, get that guy out of your head by snatching a hottie or some shit."

"I'm not going to use another person to get over Ren. It's not fair to whomever I date." She said with a frown.

"OH MY GOD, MAKOTO!" Eiko screeched at an insane volume. "You're overthinking things again, you idiot! You are NEVER gonna stop pining for that guy at this rate!"

She was about to retort when she received a second incoming call. "Hold on Eiko, someone else is calling me."

Her friend's voice was sweet again. "Okie dokie! You can call me later, then. Bye bye!"

Makoto grimaced. Eiko was too weird sometimes. "Alright. Talk to you later, Eicchan."

Her friend hung up, and she quickly switched lines.

"Hello?" She greeted in anticipation

A few minutes later, Makoto left the academy in a hurry after begging her instructor to let her off early, citing a family emergency as her reason for leaving.

The whole ride home on her motorcycle had her worried and scared something had happened to her sister. Maruki - who just recently got engaged to her sister as of a few months ago - called in distress, citing that Sae was locked up in her room, crying and refusing to come out.

Many terrifying things ran through Makoto's head, chief among them the possibility that her sister was terminally sick, and likely going to die.

…She knew it was an absurd exaggeration, but it was the thing that scared her the most and the scenario that looped constantly in her overthinking brain, because someone like Sae Niijima doesn't just break down in tears out of nowhere.

She didn't want to lose Sae, it would break her. No matter the hardships they faced, she loved her sis so much it hurt.

'Stop overthinking, Niijima!'

Hurrying up inside the high rise apartment building where she used to live with her sister, she dashed to the elevator and pressed the button repeatedly. Makoto tapped her foot impatiently, eager to reach her sister's floor.

Finally, she exited the elevator, her heart beating against her ribcage. She paused just before her sister's front door. She had to calm herself down, if Sis was as distressed as Maruki said, then she couldn't make things worse by getting nervous either.

Her nerves now calmed, Makoto rang the doorbell. Maruki quickly opened the door, looking worried and a bit hurt, likely thanks to Sae shutting him out.

"Hey, Takkun." She greeted him casually. Since he and Sae started dating, and their counseling sessions stopped, they had become more informal with one another.

"Makoto! Thanks for coming so quickly. Sae-chan doesn't want to talk to me. She just shut me out."

"Don't worry, It's going to be alright. I'll take care of it." She said, giving him a reassuring smile.

He nodded, looking relieved.

Makoto swiftly left behind her brother-in-law to be, and knocked on the door of her sister's bedroom.

No response. She swore she could hear a few muffled sniffles, though.

"Sis, it's me. Can I come in?" She called out gently, and waited.

Not long after, the door opened and she came face to face with a distressed looking Sae, face puffy and red from crying. Her big sis stepped aside and let Makoto enter her room. After closing the door, Sae immediately rushed back to her bed, curled herself and started crying.

Makoto frowned with worry at her sister's agitated state, and sat down on the edge of the bed, near her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked, pulling a stray hair away from her sister's face. Sae continued to cry for a while, so Makoto caressed her hair.

When she finally calmed down, she took Makoto's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm late, so I decided to confirm a nagging suspicion I h-had just this morning…"

Sae didn't have to say more. The message was clear enough.

Makoto's eyes widened, and she put a hand on her mouth so as to not let out a startled sound. Both sisters stayed quiet. Makoto, due to her shock, and Sae, because she was clearly upset with the news.

Recovering from the news herself, Makoto finally found her voice again.

"What do you want to do?"

"I need to d-discuss it with Takuto." Sae whispered. Makoto nodded supportively.

"Whatever you choose to do, I'm always with you. Okay?"

The elder sister just squeezed Makoto's hand in response. Sae didn't make a move to go face her fiancé, opting to stay in bed, still looking terrified. Makoto felt her heart hurt with worry for her big sis.

"...I'm not fit to be a m-mother." Sae confessed. "I was such a b-bad sister to you…How can I even raise this child?"

The younger sister shook her head and gave Sae a true, happy smile. "If you've managed to raise your annoying little sister, then you can accomplish anything. I believe in you."

Sae started crying again. "What if I hurt them, like I hurt you?"

They may have had their differences. Sae may have been bad to her in the past, but she had no doubt she changed. And she loved her too much to not have faith in her now.

Makoto hugged her big sis. "You won't. You're going to be an incredible mother. I just know it."

Hearing her reassurances, Sae clutched on Makoto for dear life. It was likely her sister still had some lingering feelings of guilt over what happened, but Makoto forgave her. Truly forgave her.

After Sae was properly recomposed, Makoto encouraged her to exit the room and go discuss the situation with Takuto.

"Hey! Are you alright?" He asked his fiancee, His face full of worry. Sae gave him a lukewarm smile, and just hugged him.

Makoto looked on with a small smile, giving her sister encouraging looks.

"Takkun… I'm pregnant."

The brunette watched the special moment with a wide smile as Takuto's face went from worry, to confusion, to shock and finally landing on hope.

"You're…"

Sae nodded, looking up at him. "I k-know it's a bit sudden, but I w-want to keep them…"

"O-of course! You don't even have to ask!" He said, hugging her tight. Makoto saw her sister sag with relief against her fiancé

After Maruki let go of Sae, though, he paled.

"Oh… Oh heavens, I'm going to be a dad…" He muttered in disbelief as if the idea was still registering on him.

Makoto held in the urge to snicker. Sae frowned as Maruki swayed. "Takuto? Hey, hey, earth to Takkun!"

He fainted.

Later, after Takuto came back to his senses, and Sae scolded him fiercely, Makoto shared a happy meal with her sis and soon to be brother-in-law, the three of them eagerly making plans for the arrival of the baby.

"Hey, Takkun… What do you think of letting Makoto name the baby?" Sae asked, her hand on her chin and a rare mischievous smile on her face. "She did bring us both together, after all."

"Hmm… I see, so this is what they mean by giving up your firstborn, eh?" He chuckled as Sae rolled her eyes goodnaturedly.

Makoto froze, her eyes wide. They… Would let her do that?

"Well, I love the idea! What do you say, Makoto?" Takuto asked her merrily.

"B-but t-this is your child…! I can't possibly take that away from you!" She stammered out.

"Mako, you're family. Besides, don't you remember who picked your own name?" Sae asked, her eyes twinkling.

Right. 7 year-old Sae had unceremoniously declared her name to be Makoto and that she refused to accept any other name for her newborn sister. Their parents had no choice but to go along with it.

"Right…Though I wish you had picked a more feminine one." Makoto declared, exasperated.

Sae chuckled at her reaction. "So, what do you say, baby sis?"

Then, her eyes started to water. She was going to be an aunt, and she was allowed to choose the baby's name.

"I'd love to." She said sincerely, her eyes shining with emotion. The couple beamed at her, and Makoto felt her heart melt with pure happiness.

She was not a very religious person, but that moment felt holy to her. And as she watched her big sis and her fiancé banter, she couldn't help but feel content and blessed with having them in her life. She couldn't wait for the baby to come either, her little niece or nephew.

Makoto loved her little family with all her heart.

"How about Yukino for a girl, and Hikaru for a boy?"

[The Present Day]

Hanna finished the call with her hands trembling.

Of course. Of course it had to be him.

How dumb did she have to be to not realize it earlier? If his voice wasn't a dead giveaway before, all his life parallels, the context of his crisis, and his desire to save everyone was clearly indicative of just who he was all along.

Feeling the usual jitters that come with her nerves getting agitated, she dialed her coworker.

'Come on, pick it up, asshole.' She thought darkly, her sense of desperation increasing with every passing second.

After a long wait full of anticipation, their lines connected.

"What do you want?" Came the aggravating, irritating and annoying voice of her coworker.

"Tom, I need you to take over my shift for the rest of the night." She told him, her voice breaking a little.

"No." He told her coldly. "I'm not doing your fucking job."

"Tom." Her tone was pleading. She usually hated pleading with him of all people. "Please. I'm not doing well."

He sighed, irritated. "...Tch. Fine."

"Thank you. I'll take you out for some pancakes later. My treat." She said, trying to sound grateful.

"Just shut up and get the hell out of the line already."

"Asshole." She muttered, and hung up.

The room started spinning, and her vision was on the verge of blacking out. She heard a scratch at the door.

Shit, she shouldn't have locked it.

Makoto stumbled on unsteady legs to get to it. Her breaths were getting ragged and she was starting to have a panic attack. She got to the door, unlocking the latch. Her companion invaded her office space and she embraced her.

They started her grounding routine, helping her get a feel and a sense of her surroundings again.

Makoto eventually relaxed.

"Thanks girl." She said, embracing her canine friend of 6 years and counting now, Agnes. She had grown big and smart. They trained her well.

"Mommy?" The voice of her little son, laced with sleepiness and concern, drew her out of her distant thoughts.

"Y-yes baby?"

"Are you okay? I heard Aggy-chan barking…"

"I'm alright. She was just helping mommy feel safe, don't worry, love. Come here."

Her precious baby obeyed her sweetly and hugged her. There was nothing like one of his hugs to make her feel better.

Looking around her designated workspace, Makoto spotted a few of her Buchimaru paraphernalia scattered around the room. Aki-kun, who was a Featherman Z Ultra fan instead, hated anything to do with Buchi-kun, which was funny in an ironic way since his mother was a huge, hopeless fan.

Makoto started to cry and laugh at the same time, feeling sad and nostalgic. She loved her Akio so much. Her gift.

"It's okay mommy. I'm here, I'm here…" He cooed gently.

The urge to bawl her eyes out just increased. Her Aki-kun was compassionate, patient and kind. She doesn't understand why she of all people had been blessed with this perfect child.

'You don't deserve him. You don't deserve to be his mother.' Her mind whispered traitorously.

She took a deep breath.

Thinking back to her current problem… Makoto thought she was past all of this. After years of struggles, of keeping herself sober, of therapy and self-care. Years of trying to be in a good headspace to open up and talk about her life to her friends without going in shambles.

After finally feeling like she was ready for the world again, all was shattered. With just one call.

From him.

He was the dear confessor of the past few days that had got her heart singing, always skipping a traitorous beat.

Will she ever be able to escape that man?

Ren decided that he would not call The Confessional any longer.

He and Sumire had enjoyed the two past weeks in peace, and he found that it correlated to him not speaking to Hanna at all.

It was for the best.

He also tried his best to not think of that woman, and every single detail of her life. It was none of his business anyways. Futaba was right.

She had to come to him. If she never did, that's on her.

Of course, his mind ignored the fact that this was not exactly what his sister said to him, but alas, Ren was being illogical. He decided to just refocus on his perfect life, his perfect wife, and his perfect work.

Perfect. Everything was just right and amazing.

That night, they had dinner with Sumire's parents.

"Pass me the potatoes." The incredibly stilted voice of his wife's mother, Chise, demanded out loud.

Chise Yoshizawa actually didn't like Ren very much. He could never tell why, but if he had a hunch, he suspected it had something to do with his past criminal record. Nevermind that he was completely cleared of it by Sae and his friends.

The woman just lived to criticize him.

Sojiro didn't like her either. His father would always throw a snark or two on during these weird family dinners, much to Futaba's amusement, and Sumire and Shinichi's embarrassment.

Ren never knew how to feel whenever this happened. A part of him was exasperated with Boss, but another part just found the snarking really funny.

They were having a simple western-style dinner, courtesy of the Yoshizawa's this time. Ren knew it incensed the woman that Sojiro and sometimes even Futaba always hosted better dinners than she did, but there was only so much that could be done since the Leblanc family was big on cooking.

"So, Sumi-chan, how are you liking your new position?" Her father, Shinichi, asked with a proud grin.

Sumire beamed at him. "It's honestly amazing, daddy! The girls have so much potential. I love working with them and making sure to tailor my advice and coaching to each of their needs."

Ren smiled fondly. Sumire was the cutest when she thought of her work.

If only she wanted to, their kids could be so cute. Maybe they'd have a little troublemaker, like Yunchan. Or a sweet angel, like Aki-kun.

Ren almost jolted in his own mind as he processed the absurd thoughts that invaded it. What the hell was wrong with him?

Those kids were her family, not his.

"Ren-kun?" The voice of his wife reached his ears, as her hands rested gently on his forehead. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yes sweetheart, don't worry. I guess I got lost in my mind thinking of old man Tora's new initiatives, haha…" He said awkwardly.

An obvious lie.

Futaba had a shit-eating grin on her face that told him 'I don't believe you, mister!', but she mercifully stayed quiet.

Sojiro leveled one of his trademark eyebrows at him. He pretended not to see it.

Dinner continued in a very awkward manner, until Chise decided to ruin it by opening the can of worms.

"So, now that you have pretty much retired from the more active parts of your job, when are you going to give us grandchildren?" She asked in a fake joking tone. It was clear this was more of a jab than anything else.

Ren frowned. Sure, Sumi not wanting kids yet frustrated him too, but he'd never talk to his own child the way Chise did, all condescension and disregard. It irritated him deeply.

Sumire's smile froze on her face. It went from genuine to plastic in a split second. "Ren-kun and I aren't ready for that commitment yet, mom. I think there is still much I have to do in my career before we take that step."

He frowned. He almost wanted to throw a 'YOU aren't ready, because I am' back on her face, but giving Chise fuel against Sumire and himself was the last thing on earth he'd like to do now.

Chise scoffed. "What else is there for you to do? You are retired from gymnastics. All you have to do now is to supervise some girls. There is enough room for you to become a mother. Or, perhaps the question is whether or not you want to."

"Mother, I think you are overstepping. You know NOTHING of my job. I'm not ready, end of discussion." Sumire hissed.

The older woman laughed. "Of course you would say that. If only it were Kasumi here, I bet she would say differently."

Ren's eyes widened at the sheer audacity and gall of this fucking woman.

"Chise!" Shinichi barked, horrified at his wife's own words to their daughter.

Sojiro and Futaba looked just as disgusted with the implications. Ren was pissed off.

"Chise-san, that is enough. How can you even say that?" He spoke coldly.

"You stay out of this, young man. I already have to put up with her marrying you, the least she can do is be a normal girl and give us grandchildren."

"No, Ren-kun, let her speak. Go on mom, tell me. How would Kasumi do it better?"

Chise stayed quiet, a seething look crossing over her features.

Sumire slammed her hand on the table. "Go on. Say it!"

"I think." Her mother seethed. "You know very well what I'm talking about. She wouldn't be this averse to what is natural."

Ren felt like there was a parallel conversation going on that none of the occupants in the room except mother and daughter could understand about.

Sumire's eyes widened, and she looked furious at whatever insinuations her mother was making.

She got up from her chair, and left the dinner table.

"Sumi-" Her father protested.

Sumire ignored him.

Ren and Futaba exchanged a look of pure disbelief. Holy fucking shit, what the hell was going on here?

"I'm just gonna say this again once." Sojiro started later as they returned to Leblanc for the night. Sumire had stormed off to god knows where, only sending him a message 10 minutes later saying that she was going to sleep at a friend's house.

It left him confused and irritated, but he couldn't blame her. Maybe the talk of children by her mother reminded her of her own conflict with himself about the same subject of having kids.

Once more, he got the short end of the stick.

Ren refocused on his father and leveled an eyebrow at him. Sojiro tossed him a pointed look.

"You should have just married Makoto instead." The old man said with a cheeky grin.

Ren instantly groaned.

"Dad… You can't be serious."

"I am. Nothing against Sumire, she is a lovely girl. But her mother, holy shit, that woman makes Sae look like a kitten by comparison. Think of it, at least you'd get along with your in-laws, even if you snarked at each other a little." His father joked.

Ren resisted the urge to let his mouth curl in a smile. It's not as if he hadn't thought about it before. Him and Sae bantering as brother and sister in-laws. Him and Maruki bonding. Even calling Yunchan his niece. And…

He stopped fantasizing. It was a dangerous line of thought.

"Look, I love Sumi… It's just that things are a bit complicated at the moment." He decided to say instead.

Sojiro snorted. "You don't say? Well. I believe you. But one more word of advice, my son."

"Yes?"

"Sometimes, you can't save others, if you don't save yourself first. Just think about it. And think about why you are where you are today, with the choices that you have made."

Ren sighed. "Thanks for the heads up Boss. Or whatever that was supposed to mean."

Sojiro just chuckled. "Anytime, kiddo."

"Thanks for reaching out to The Confessional. My name is Hanna, and I will be your personal priestess today. What do you wish to confess?"

Ren surrendered to the itch of calling the hotline again. The need to talk to Hanna was too strong.

She had a voice like no other. Deep, mature, stern… Yet still very much feminine, caring and relaxing. Not high pitched, or grating, just sweet enough to be nurturing, yet strong enough to lift you up.

Like the most delicious blend of black coffee with cream that carries you through a tiring, shitty day.

And even though he knew absolutely nothing about this stranger on the other side… Her voice alone had already drawn him in, enchanted him.

That was dangerous.

"Hello Hanna. It's me again, Mr. Red." He whispered in reverence.

"...Hello again dear confessor. How have you been faring since?" She asked him sweetly.

The tension that he had been carrying all day left his shoulders. He was safe with her.

"I feel much better now. Did you recover from your cold?" Ren asked her, gently.

Her voice was perfect. "Yes my dear Mr. Red. Thank you so much for asking."

He had a goofy grin on his face. God, he wished he knew what she looked like…

"I have a confession to make."

"I'm all ears, Mr. Red. The floor is yours."

"I think… There is more to my wife's aversion to having children than it meets the eyes."

"Oh?" She prompted, curiously. Even slightly challengingly.

For some reason, it made him grin a little.

"Her mother seems to be pressuring her as well. I wasn't fully aware of it until a dinner we had earlier today."

"That sounds like a really though spot for your wife, Mr. Red. Won't you tell me more?"

He ran a hand through his fluffy hair and sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. You see, my wife had a twin sister that passed away really young after an accident. This shaped a lot of her life in the past years. We had to work through it to make sure she was doing alright, but sometimes, her mother weaponizes her sister against her, to make her feel less."

"That's awful, Mr. Red. I am so sorry your wife is going through that. Is there any way you can support her?" She asked with genuine concern and empathy.

For some reason, her appearing to sympathize with Sumi actually made his heart melt a little. Hanna was so caring.

He closed his eyes for a bit, then reopened them and decided to be very honest. "I'm trying, but she always closes up. I'm afraid I don't know what to do anymore, it makes me feel helpless."

Hanna let out a low hum and gently nudged him to talk again. "In which way, my dear confessor?"

Ren grimaced. "...Everyone used to come to me, but nowadays, they don't anymore. That always makes me feel isolated and… I don't know, discarded? Like I have outlived my usefulness or something."

"I'm so sorry you feel that way, Mr. Red. Maybe, think about it some more. Perhaps it's not that you are not valued anymore. Perhaps, it's that those closest to you have found other ways to deal with their problems, and they do not wish to burden you. Or perhaps, their problems go beyond that which a friendly ear alone can solve. Does that make sense to you, my Mr. Red?"

She called him hers. That made him smile against his will.

"A lot Hanna. Thank you for putting this into perspective. I guess I can't help it sometimes. It's in my nature, haha." He told her with a small awkward laugh.

She chuckled. God, she has a beautiful laugh.

"I'm so glad to hear it Mr. Red. But going back to your problems, why don't you think of some ways to help your wife instead of expecting her to come to you?"

"Like what?" He asked, frowning.

"Well… Maybe do some loving gestures. Something that she can appreciate. Even if she cannot open up to you, or isn't willing to, show that you care, and that you're thinking of her first."

'That's very thoughtful of you Hanna. Thank you for the advice, I will think about it."

"Of course Mr. Red. Here at the confessional, we're always eager to help and guide. Is there anything else you wish to confess?"

He almost wanted to say 'I think I like the sound of your voice way too much for my own damn good', but that would come across as terribly creepy and two timing on his part.

He is a married man. He needs to control himself.

"I don't think so, Hanna. Just small reflections today. Maybe next time?"

"Of course, my dear confessor. Reach out to us anytime. We are always here for your troubles."

He grinned. Wonderful, amazing Hanna.

"Thank you, my dear priestess. Sweet dreams Hanna."

"Sweet dreams, Mr. Red." She whispered almost lovingly, then hung up.

'Oh shit.' He thought, his mouth dry as he kept the phone close to his ear in shock.

Her husky voice did something REALLY stupid to his own body. Ren felt the terrible urge to go dunk into an ice pool and stay there for the rest of the night.

Makoto finished her shift for the night, and instantly covered her face with her hands in sheer regret, horror and something else.

What in the actual FUCK did she think she was doing?

This wasn't going to end well. She should not take any calls from him anymore.

…Or maybe she was overreacting. Maybe that was not him at all. Maybe their lives were just coincidentally 99,9% similar, she was sure the remaining 0,1% proved that Mr. Red was NOT him.

Nope.

…Okay.

She decided to not think about it. She would just do her job, receive the calls, be supportive, chipper and useful. She didn't have to complicate things up, and it wasn't her fault he always only called her and only her.

Besides, she felt NOTHING. Nothing at all.

She hated that guy. Hated him to the point of irrationally melting up in anger. She hated him more than she hated Akechi-kun, in fact, and that was saying something since the guy was a murderous bitch.

But yes, she hated her ex-friend. It wasn't like she wanted to punch his stupid face and then kiss it senselessly until he shoved her up against the wall and did some really nasty things to her body and soul.

No. Not at all.

She would merely do her job. She is not Makoto, and he is NOT him.

This was just Hanna and Mr. Red talking.

To be continued…