Disclaimer: I do not own any property in this work that I did not make myself.
Fiction Fighters
Chapter five: Ryoga Hibiki vs. Roronoa Zoro (Ranma 1/2 vs. One Piece)
Ryoga Hibiki was fully dressed, even had his travel bag on over his back. He was ready to go out and meet with the opponent that he was slated to fight in an exhibition fight that was being held for some manner of charity event. Ryoga had no idea what charity was having money raised for it, but he was certain that he'd do far better in the fight than Ranma ever could.
"Heh," Ryoga chuckled to himself, "This will be almost too easy. My opponent should have been slated to fight Ranma instead. Then they'd actually stand a chance of winning." Ryoga then left his house and proceeded to make his way to where the scheduled fight was set to take place, eager to score a win and maybe get Akane to give up on Ranma and come to him.
...
Roronoa Zoro was dressed, had all three of his swords, and was ready to head on out to the fight he was scheduled to take part in. It was some manner of charity event where Zoro was to fight in an exhibition match against an opponent in order to help raise money for some sort of cause. Zoro had no idea what exactly the cause was, but he didn't exactly care about that.
All that he cared about was how he was going to get to have a match against an opponent who was apparently brave enough to face him in a one on one. "Heh, this is going to be interesting," Zoro said to himself as he left The Thousand Sunny and proceeded to make his way over to where he and his opponent were going to be having what's bound to be a good fight.
...
Over where the charity exhibition match between Ryoga and Zoro was set and scheduled to take place, a number of people had already gathered to watch the fight between the two expert fighters. "Wait a minute," Akane said, "Why would Ryoga fight that swordsman? Wouldn't Ranma want to fight him instead?"
"The pig-headed idiot insisted on getting dibs on fighting that Zoro guy," a female voice called out, making Akane turn to see that Ranma, in her girl form, was playing some sort of gambling game involving a deck of fifty-two playing cards. She was playing with Nami from the Straw Hat crew and, surprisingly enough, Asuna Yuuki. From the looks of things, Girl Ranma was winning it big.
Scowling, Nami said, "I can't believe how much I'm losing!"
"I can't believe that the fight with that Zoro guy was taken from Kirito and given to that Ryoga guy instead," Asuna said, "I mean, Kirito at least has being a swordsman in common with Zoro. What all does that Ryoga guy have in common with Zoro?"
Over where he stood talking with Luffy, Kirito turned to look where Asuna sat playing cards with Nami and Girl Ranma. "I'm just as lost as you are, Asuna," Kirito replied, "Although for once I get to simply spectate on a fight rather than take part in one. A break is always welcomed."
Looking curious, Luffy said, "Speaking of the fight, where's Zoro?"
"Mosshead insisted on coming here on his own," Sanji explained as he came walking on up to where Luffy and Kirito were talking. Taking out a cigarette, lighting it, and then taking a drag from it, Sanji went on, "That being said, chances are that that Ryoga guy will win by default because Mosshead will be disqualified due to failing to show up on time because he got lost trying to find where the big charity event is being held."
"Well that's disappointing," Kirito remarked a bit dryly. Turning to look over where Girl Ranma sat, Kirito said, "Oi! Where's that Ryoga guy?"
"Ryoga insisted on coming here on his own," Girl Ranma called back, "So chances that that Zoro guy will win by default because Ryoga will be disqualified due to failing to show up on time because he got lost trying to find where the big charity event is being held." Chuckling a bit, Girl Ranma added, "Ryoga's ability to get lost is legendary."
Sanji, if the look on his face were any indication, was the first to realize just how bad things are exactly, although Kirito judging by his expression was a close second behind Sanji. "...Well this can't be good," Sanji remarked.
...
Over in the Great Tomb of Nazarick, Ainz Ooal Gown was sitting in his office as he was going over some forms. In the office with him were Cocytus, Sebas, and Mare. "...Which is why I had to exclude Demiurge and the girls from this conversation," Ainz said to his male subordinates, "Now then, are there any questions?"
Timidly raising a hand, Mare said, "Well there is something that I'm curious about, Lord Ainz. If you don't mind me asking, that is."
Although Ainz had issues feeling emotions due to his emotion suppression, he was still able to give off a kindly, warm, and understanding good natured laugh. "There is no need to be so nervous if you have something you're curious about, Mare," Ainz assured the male dark elf twin, "Ask away."
Mare was about to speak up, but he wasn't able to get even one syllable out before he was cut off when the doors leading into Ainz's office opened, and Zoro walked in. "Huh?" said the swordsman of the Straw Hat crew, "This isn't where the charity exhibition match is set to take place."
"Umm... who are you?" Sebas asked as he and the others all turned to address Zoro.
"I'm trying to find this address," Zoro said as he took out a slip of paper and handed it to Sebas who went to greet Zoro.
"...Sir, with all due respect," Sebas said, "You are WAY off the mark."
"How in blazes was a lone human able to get this far down into Nazarick?!" Cocytus exclaimed.
Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Zoro said, "Fine, I'll admit it! I got lost!"
Ainz was so surprised by how... how utterly ridiculous this whole situation was, that his emotion suppression had to activate to keep him from flipping. "...Sebas," Ainz said, "Please escort our guest here out of the Great Tomb. Also, provide him with a clear and easy to read map that will lead him to his destination so that he won't get lost again."
Sebas bowed his head respectfully to the Overlord. "Of course, Lord Ainz." Sebas then proceeded to lead Zoro out of Ainz's office while assuring him he'd give him clear directions to his destination.
After the doors closed behind Sebas and Zoro, Ainz said, "As soon as that swordsman is gone, we need to hold an emergency meeting to go over this serious breach of security."
...
Over in the village hidden in the leaves, Naruto Uzumaki was talking to some of his friends, those being Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akimichi. Also this is when all of them are in their mid teens. "So Ino's birthday is coming up," Naruto said, "And you wanna find a good birthday gift to get for her."
Sakura nodded once in the affirmative. "Yes, that is exactly right."
Shrugging, Naruto replied, "Well why ask me? I hardly know Ino."
"Naruto's got a point, Sakura," Shikamaru pointed out, "Hell, Choji and I would hardly be better in the field of giving you advice on what to get Ino as a birthday gift."
"Last year when Shikamaru and I had to scramble to get birthday gifts for Ino," Choji said, "My gift idea didn't exactly go over too well..."
Turning to look at Choji, Sakura with a dry look said in a likewise tone, "You got her a gift card to an all you can eat buffet."
Shrugging helplessly, Choji defended, "It's what I'd like as a birthday gift!"
As Sakura sighed in mild exasperation, Ryoga came walking up to her and the boys. "Excuse me," Ryoga began, "But I'm trying to find this address." Ryoga handed Sakura a slip of paper with the address for the location of his exhibition match with Zoro. "Can you point me in the right direction?" Ryoga asked, "I'm... admittedly lost."
After looking at the address, Sakura with a mildly surprised look on her face said, "Boy, I'll say! You're in the village of Konohagakure right now. It's the resident ninja village of the Land of Fire. The place you're looking for is located nowhere NEAR the Land of Fire."
Shikamaru looked at the address on the piece of paper Ryoga showed to Sakura. "...Yeah, I bet that Lady Tsunade can give this guy a map to help him get to his destination," Shikamaru said.
"Well let's take him with us to go see her," Naruto remarked, "He'll probably get lost if he tries to go see her on his own."
"That... is a more accurate assessment than I'd like to admit," Ryoga said as he followed Naruto and the others to go see Tsunade.
...
Over at the Butterfly Mansion, Kanao Tsuyuri and Aoi Kanzaki were seeing off Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, and Inosuke Hasibira. "Good luck on your joint mission, you three," Kanao said, "It sounds like it'll be a tough one."
"Thanks," Tanjiro said as he respectfully bowed his head to the girls. A gesture that Zenitsu copied.
"Feh, those demons stand no chance!" Inosuke boasted, "Especially since I'm coming for them!"
Aoi looked a bit annoyed, but there was a hint of amusement in her expression as she regarded the boastful, boar-masked Demon Slayer. "...Just try to learn at least a little bit of caution from Tanjiro and Zenitsu, alright?" Aoi asked.
"She's got a point, Inosuke," Tanjiro remarked, you really ought to-"
"Excuse me," Zoro called out as he walked up to the scene, getting everyone's attention. "I'm unable to make heads or tails of this map that I was provided," Zoro said, "Can one of you guys point me in the right direction to my destination? I have the address written here." Zoro held up the slip of paper he had that had the address of where his exhibition match with Ryoga was set to take place.
Looking at the address and then the map, Zenitsu said, "...You're holding your map upside down. Also, I... I think you somehow time traveled to this period from a date in the future."
Scowling, Zoro said, "Of course. Of course I somehow manage to get so lost that in my getting lost I somehow manage to travel back in time."
Zenitsu turned the map in Zoro's hands around so that it was right side up, then looked at the map and the address. "...Turn around, get to the fork in the road, then go down this path," Zenitsu said as he pointed at a route on the map, "You should wind up where you're looking to go."
"Thanks, man," Zoro replied before turning around and taking off.
After Zoro was gone, Aoi said, "The hell was that about?"
"Oh relax," Tanjiro said, "It was just a lost traveler who needed directions. It's no big deal."
Inosuke then turned to look at you, the reader(s). "I'm gonna get my own chapter of Fiction Fighters some time during season two," Inosuke said.
...
Ash and May were facing off against one another in a Contest, where May and her Blaziken were facing down Ash and his Sceptile. "Are you ready, Ash?" May asked.
Smirking in amusement, Ash said, "You know it, May!"
In the audience, Max said, "I can't believe it. Ash and May are facing each other in the final round of a contest!"
"And considering that this is the first contest that Ash had ever entered," Brock began, "The fact that he made it to the final round against May, who has a lot more contest experience than he does, is a really big surprise."
Ash and May were about ready to get going, but right as the timer for the battle began, Ryoga randomly wandered onto the stage from a backstage area. "Umm, excuse me," Ryoga began, getting all eyes on him, "But can you tell me if I'm heading in the right direction?"
"What are you doing on stage during me and Ash's match in the contest?!" May exclaimed, annoyed that the contest was interrupted.
"For that matter, who even are you?" Ash asked.
"Look, I'm lost and I'm just trying to find my way to where I need to go," Ryoga said, "Can either of you tell me where to go? I have the address of where I need to go but I have no idea what direction I have to go in."
Ash and (an annoyed) May walked up and were shown the written address that Ryoga had. "...The place you're trying to find isn't located anywhere even remotely close to here in the Hoenn region," May said, "You're WAY off course."
"If you stick around until after the contest, our friend Brock can set you up with a proper map and directions," Ash said, "He's good like that."
Nodding once, Ryoga replied, "Fair enough. Thanks."
"Now get off the stage," May scowled, her expression unamused and deadpan.
...
Over at a train station somewhere near U.A. High School, Izuku and Uraraka had just met up with Tenya, Todoroki, and Tsuyu to go out and have lunch with them. "Wait wait wait," Tenya said, "Asui, you're saying your little sister did what to your little brother again?"
"Satsuki stole some of the money that Samidare was saving up kero," Tsuyu said, "Samidare wanted to save up to buy a book he wants to get, but Satsuki set him back a few thousand yen by stealing some of his saved up allowance and getting candy."
"Wow, your little sister needs to be disciplined more," Uraraka remarked.
"My dad needs to be disciplined more," Todoroki snarked.
Chuckling a bit, Izuku said, "Oh come on now, Todoroki. I'm pretty sure that even your dad can't be that bad."
Arching a wry eyebrow, Todoroki asked, "How sure are you, Midoriya?"
"...I'd say ninety-one point six percent sure," Izuku replied after giving the notion a bit of thought.
"That's an oddly specific percentage, Izuku," Uraraka remarked, looking mildly confused.
Izuku was about to speak up, but was cut off by Zoro walking up. "Hey, did I wander back to a more present timeline?" Zoro asked, "Also, can you tell me if I'm headed in the right direction?"
"Umm... are you lost, sir?" Izuku asked.
"Maybe he's drunk," Todoroki suggested.
Sniffing the air a bit, Tsuyu remarked, "I do smell a hint of sake coming from him kero."
"Look kids, are you gonna help me or are you gonna be a bunch of wisecracking jackasses?" Zoro asked, "I'm fed up as it is with how lost I've gotten."
"Do you have a map and directions?" Uraraka asked. Zoro showed her his map and directions, which she studied a bit. "...Oh!" Uraraka said, "See how we're right in front of a train station? Just take the number three train, get off at the third stop after you get on, take the main road for a mile straight, and you'll get to where you need to go."
"Thank you," Zoro replied, going over to a bench in front of the tracks to sit down and wait for the number three train.
Looking at where Zoro was sitting, Tenya said, "That gentleman is... certainly an individual."
Shrugging, Todoroki said, "At least he's not a panty sniffing pervert unlike Mineta."
"Yeah, the other girls and I need to think of something to deal with that pervert," Uraraka said, with Tsuyu nodding in agreement.
Sighing, Izuku said, "The rest of this school year is going to be very hard."
...
Over at the shrine in Uptown Springdale, Nate Adams and Whisper were putting bandages on Jibanyan. "You did all of that over a Choco Bar?" Nate asked.
"But Choco Bars are really good, Nyate!" Jibanyan said.
"Roughly seventy percent of the neighborhood was wrecked," Whipser pointed out, "It made the news even!"
"That Hiro guy looked like he's gonna give his little friend you fought with a stern talking to," Nate went on, "But that's besides the point. Sit still so Whisper and I can-"
"Excuse me, young man," Ryoga spoke up as he walked up to the scene, "I'm lost. Can you tell me if I'm anywhere close to my destination?"
"Huh?" Nate said, looking confused.
Taking out his map and directions, Ryoga said, "I need to get to this address."
Nate studied the map and directions for a bit. "...Oh," Nate said, "I can take you to the train station so you can get to where you need to go. You'll just have to take the north bound train, get off at the fifth stop after getting on, take the north bound main road straight for a mile, and you'll be right where you are trying to go."
"Finally!" Ryoga exclaimed, "I'm close to getting to my destination!"
Gesturing to Jibanyan, Nate said, "Just let me finish bandaging up Jibanyan here and we can get going immediately."
Nodding once to Nate, Ryoga said, "Thank you, little man. I owe you for this."
...
It was late afternoon when Zoro and Ryoga finally arrived at the location for their charity exhibition match. "Well alright, you must be Ryoga," Zoro said, "I'm looking forward to beating you."
"You must be Zoro," Ryoga said, "And make no mistake. It is I who shall be winning this fight."
"Correction, you idiots," Girl Ranma said as she and Luffy came walking up to them, "There's not going to be a fight."
Ryoga and Zoro both turned to look at Girl Ranma and Luffy. "No fight?!" Ryoga and Zoro exclaimed in unison.
Nodding twice in the affirmative, Luffy said, "Umm, yeah. The match was canceled because the both of you were disqualified because you both failed to show up on time. We had to refund a lot of tickets to people who came to watch. Nami's upset with having lost a lot of the potential money that she could have made off of betting on the fight."
"She's also upset with losing money to me in gambling," Girl Ranma said with an amused smirk, "But that's got nothing to do with this."
Looking at Ryoga and Zoro, Luffy said, "A lot of people are upset that you guys didn't show up for the scheduled fight."
"I got lost!" Ryoga and Zoro both exclaimed in unison.
WINNER: DRAW (BOTH WERE DISQUALIFIED)
END, CHAPTER FIVE
This chapter shows a match up of Ryoga from Ranma 1/2 and Zoro from One Piece. What these two both have in common is the fact that they both have abysmal senses of direction, which ended up playing a big part in this chapter as they both got lost trying to find their way to the location of where they're slated to fight one another in a charity exhibition match to raise money for some sort of cause that I never really came up with.
This in turn leads to a few new rules for fights here in Fiction Fighters; one, a competitor can lose to an opponent via disqualification if their fight is an officially sanctioned competition of some kind, and two, it's possible for draws to occur, whether it's because both fighters lose or both fighters win. I can be rather flexible. Well anyway, the next chapter ought to be up before too long. I'll see you all later. Until then, take care.
Next time, on Fiction Fighters...
Jade Chan was wandering around Chinatown in San Francisco, just out to get some fresh air and some time alone with her thoughts. As she was walking along, Jade spotted a quarter laying on the sidewalk, so she walked over and picked it up.
"...Hey, this is one of those state quarters," Jade said as she looked at the coin, "And it's the one for Alaska. That one girl at school who collects state quarters says Alaska is one of the ones that she's missing. I'll save this for-"
*BAM*
"Ah, watch it!" Kimiko Tohomiko cried out, accidentally running into Jade and nearly making her drop the Alaska quarter that she had found.
"I was just standing there, you jerk!" Jade snapped at Kimiko, "You're the one who rammed into me! You need to watch where you're going!"
"Oh ho ho ho, you did NOT just tell me that I need to watch where I'm going," Kimiko said. Pulling out the Eye of Dashi, Kimiko said, "You're talking to a girl who's packing some serious Shen Gong Wu!"
Jade pulled out the Rabbit Talisman before firing back, "You aren't the only one with magical items, rude girl! If you wanna throw down, then that's fine by me!"
Jade Chan vs. Kimiko Tohomiko (Jackie Chan Adventures vs. Xiaolin Showdown)