Many thanks to my readers and reviewers. Thank you to ljstravels, ElizabethSoph, and DimmDimms for reviewing chapter 41 and to my new reader, mussolet, for reviewing many of the prior chapters. You keep me writing. I hope that my American readers all had a good Thanksgiving.
Note, I made small changes to Chapters 35 and 40. There is no need to reread them. The only thing you need to know is that Frederick temporarily banned "comfort women" from visiting his ship in response to the men cheering as Dowdy tortured Daniels and then made this ban permanent once he knew that Anne would be arriving soon (as he did not think she would approve of such a practice).
42.
The evening after their long-awaited reunion, Frederick gained his bed much later than Anne did, for he had to fulfill his duties as Captain Wentworth. He received all the reports of what had transpired while he was away from Lieutenant Benwick and that took far longer than he expected, for there had been a terrible brawl that evening involving half a dozen men. After Benwick finished his report, and answered all the questions his captain had, Frederick thought Benwick had resolved the matter wisely, and he told him so.
While Benwick seemed pleased, he explained "Something must be done for the able seamen's relief. They are restless being stuck aboard since we have reached port, while you and I and most of the officers and some others have gotten time upon the shore. I understand why you do not grant most shore leave, for there is always the danger of desertion, and I even understood why you temporarily banned the comfort women after how Dowdy treated Daniels and during the ensuing investigation, but can you explain to me why you have made this ban permanent? Did perhaps Mr. Dash put you up to it, to try to prevent the spread of some disease? While illness is certainly a concern, if they have neither shore leave nor womanly companionship, well expect further fighting."
"Perhaps it has been unwise of me, Benwick," Frederick replied, "but I have hesitated to allow such visits as I have to be thinking of what would be pleasing to my new wife, and I cannot but think she would not want such behavior aboard although of course it would not be within her power to forbid it. It is not said that one should start as he wishes to continue? The men need to get used to behaving in a more civilized manner."
"Your new wife?" Benwick asked in confusion.
"Yes, she is aboard my brother's ship and we shall be married very soon, tomorrow if we can get the priest to agree."
As Benwick had known nothing of Frederick's ill-fated engagement or renewed understanding, he had many questions. Frederick spoke more freely and with greater candor to his first lieutenant than he ever had before. Now that Lieutenant Dowdy was gone, Frederick felt free to cultivate the friendship between himself and Benwick that he had always thought was possible if not for the separation of rank he had enforced.
When Frederick began sharing, it all poured out and Benwick was both pleased for Frederick and astonished by the knowledge that Frederick had loved so long and so deeply while all hope appeared lost, that he had never forgotten the woman that had captured his heart so many years ago. They stayed up late and with the help of a bottle of port (that fortunately was already mostly gone) that libation loosened their tongues and they shared all about their lady loves, and their hopes and fears.
At first Frederick was all optimism and cheer, but after one and one half shots hit him fully, his share of what was left in the bottle, his doubts emerged. "While my dear beloved Anne has agreed to marry me as soon as might be arranged, I cannot help but wonder, are we acting precipitously? We have not seen one another in years, have had but the little intelligence shared by my one letter to her and the two that I received from her. It is unlike Anne to remove herself from her home precipitously, and come so very far. Could it be that my sister Mrs. Croft has done more than she ought in pleading my case and causing Anne to overthrow all her natural caution? Could it be that Anne will regret marrying me? Is the adage 'marry in haste, repent at leisure,' possible true here? I could not bear it if Anne came to regret marrying me." Frederick stared at his empty cup, his eyes slightly unfocused, his mind seeing Anne more clearly than the dim room.
Benwick replied, "You are hardly moving quickly given the length of your courtship, and I was given to understand that your sister married Admiral Croft only a few days after they met, and they are very happy. You and Miss Elliot's devotion to each other has withstood the test of time, has made you both overthrow all obstacles. The fact that she would train with an apothecary, brave the sea, and venture into the unknown to be with you, well that shows her character, her mettle. It is not as if you are just marrying for a pretty face with an empty garret. If your sister is confident in her character, in the strength of her attachment to you, why cannot you be?"
Frederick shrugged.
Although Benwick saw that that line of tension between his captain's eyebrows had eased some, with his words, he sought to remove it completely. "You must have faith in your lady love and in yourself. She has more than proved her devotion to you. Now it is time for you to prove yours to her. Marry her, man, and achieve the bliss that we all long for ourselves. Do you not see that you have been given a precious gift? What I would not do to be captain of my own ship and get to marry Fanny and have her with me."
"So you will marry her when you get your first command?" Frederick asked, eager to move the conversation away from himself.
"No," said Benwick. "I should like nothing better, for I dearly want to marry her, but I shall not put her on a ship like the Junker. I shall not be so selfish as to do that to her. I must also have some fortune to settle on her, for we all know how cruel the sea shall be, and I would not want her to live on her family's charity if something should happen to me."
Frederick nodded. He would have expected nothing less from Benwick. Frederick thought with reassurance of the fortune that he had amassed. Benwick was right to doubt the fickleness of good luck, for the sea was an uncertain mistress that would take full payment from the luckiest man on occasion, and when battles were fought no one was safe. Should Frederick die the day after he wed, his wife would be a wealthy woman of leisure for the entirety of her life.
"I shall do what I can to get you your own ship," Frederick proclaimed, "although I hardly wish to lose your services. You have always served most ably, much better than Dowdy ever did. I never liked the man, but I did not see him for the monster he was."
Before Frederick could delve into self-recrimination, Benwick said "No one suspected, or at least I did not. It is a tough thing that befell the lads, but at least it is over now and they know that they can trust in their captain to protect them. I am certain if any such thing were to occur to again that now they know they may seek help. But this, too, is a good reason to let the prostitutes aboard. Some men will turn to unnatural pursuits if they have no other options, and can you not see that your wife (and her companion if you give her leave to bring her) will be safer if the men have an outlet for their passions? Not all men have the restraint that we exercise to remain worthy of our future brides."
Frederick nodded, but Benwick was not sure if it was in agreement or just so that he would let the matter drop.
It was close to three o'clock when Frederick finally bid Benwick adieu and retired to his chambers. He dropped heavily into bed, and his last thought before he drifted off to sleep, was that he must task his manservant to tidy his cabin and refresh the linens, just in case the next night he might not be its only occupant.
While Anne awoke early the next morning, she stayed in bed against the chill of the day, luxuriating in having these few quiet minutes while Mirabella slumbered on, to think about what was soon to come. She imagined walking down an aisle on the Admiral's arm to meet Frederick at the front of a church, of holding his hand through the making of their vows and their first kiss, of returning to his ship and meeting his men, who would cheer for their captain's good fortune and mumble some bawdy talk unfit for a maiden's ears. Frederick would perhaps order some casks of drink opened for them to have their own celebration, and then would whisk her down the stairs and into his cabin. It would be far smaller than the admiral's cabin she knew, but it would be special because it was his, on his ship, her new home and she would never be lonely again.
They would climb into Frederick's bed, and kiss and touch under the counterpane. Everything would be a pleasure, and after she was properly his wife, he would hold her close while he was awake, and then when he slumbered, she would press herself close to him. Perhaps late at night, or very early in the morning, they would rouse and the kissing and the touching and all that she could scarcely imagine would begin anew, and she would be glad, so glad, that all her days from here on out would be with her beloved husband by her side, and that each night they would share the same breath and the same swaying of the surf, rocking against each other, her a captain's wife.
Anne's reveries led to renewed slumber and she was mid-dream when Mirabella shook her awake. "Anne, Anne, it is time to dress and break our fast. Captain Wentworth will be expecting you."
Anne leapt up and with Mirabella's help dressed quickly, and then did the same service for her friend. The ate at the officers' mess and Anne felt that the simple fare had never tasted so good (she had not eaten much the night before, for she was far too distracted by Frederick's proximity and affection towards her, and then returning the gesture), but at the same time was impatient for it to be done so they could leave.
However, once Sophia Croft finished and rose, rather than taking them up on deck she led them down the hall, passing their cabin and toward the admiral's quarters. "Why are we going there?" Anne asked somewhat crossly. She was eager, oh so eager to be off and see Frederick again, and any further delay was much unwelcome.
"Mirabella and I need to have a little talk with you." Mrs. Croft replied.
"Yes," Mrs. Holmes agreed.
"About what?" Anne asked. "Frederick will be waiting."
At that moment Sophia opened the door and ushered the other women inside. Once the door was bolted, she got out the chairs for the women and arranged them before the bed and perched herself there. Then she finally answered, "Anne, while perhaps it is not my place, since I am not your mother or indeed any female relation of yours (at least not yet), Mirabella and I are the closest to such that you have here and it behooves us to give you the talk that all women must hear before they marry. I do not know if indeed you can marry today, but if you can, well we wish you to be prepared." Mirabella nodded.
Anne blushed, recalling (was it just that morning?) how she had imagined what would come to pass after they married, how she could imagine in vivid detail the kissing and touching, but her imagining misted out what came after that.
Mrs. Croft was a forthright woman and had imagined that it would not be too difficult to tell Anne what she needed to know. She had thought that all the time she spent around sailors (who were not known for mincing words and who often forgot that their language should be more delicate around her) had cured her of all embarrassment, but she soon learned otherwise. It was difficult to decide who was more embarrassed during their talk, for each woman's cheeks was stained a deep red and seldom did their eyes meet each other. Part of the difficulty for Sophia is that she could not quite forget that that she was discussing what her little brother would soon be doing with Anne.
While Sophia knew such things were certainly right when a couple was properly married, thinking about her brother in the throws of passion was not something she truly wanted to contemplate. She wanted to believe her brother would be gentle and kind in easing her friend into her new role, she had not forgotten how overcome her own husband had been in his own passion that first time, and her own confusion when things ended almost before they had begun. Of course he had more than made up for it in the days that followed.
When Sophia finished explaining the ins and out of the marital act, she followed up by discussing the signs her mother had told her about how a woman was likely to know when she was with child. She believed this explanation would far easier for her, for it was merely a matter of reciting what she had been told, and at first it was. The only difficult part was when she shared her own experience: "There were two times when I felt certain I was with child. Once, about fifteen years ago I went two months without my courses, and then about five years ago I went three months without courses, but each time I never felt the quickening for before things could go so far, I had heavy bleeding and if I was with child, it was lost to me then."
Sophia's words drifted away. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat away but it stayed there and she concluded she could not go on. Sophia had dreams once of having a child, but knew that her bleeding times would end in a few years more or less. Perhaps it was already too late to have a child. She had talked with Mirabella about what happened when a woman's courses ended for good and Mirabella had told her that as that time approached, she might go a couple months or more between her times, or have bleeding at odd times, or heavier courses, might awaken in the night in a sweat or be too warm suddenly now and again. Sophia should have had her courses by now, but the delay was likely due to her age. Missing them by a week or two had not been uncommon in the last year or two.
Sophia knew that it certainly made life easier being a captain's and now an admiral's wife to never have children, and many captains' wives might have envied her lack of fecundity. Many a woman who sailed with her husband at first, found herself relegated to dry land once the children came, then only seeing her husband long enough to conceive the next child before he was away again.
A warship was not exactly a conducive place to birth and raise a child, as Mrs. Croft well knew, but she had always desired a child whether convenient or not and though her John never talked about it now, she knew that he, too, had hoped they would have children in the beginning. What hopes they once had! John spoke of them having a daughter with her bright eyes and laugh, a princess for his whole crew to dote upon, a son who would carry on for him, learn sailing at his knee.
While Sophia was still lost in thought and regret, Mrs. Holmes went into the breach and described the symptoms she had which portended that she was with child, and the strange cravings she had: Salt pork with lime juice. She explained, "When I told Captain Holmes about such symptoms, he declared that I must be expecting a sailor, for of course aboard ship salt pork or salt beef is what most of the crew eat, and everyone is obliged to have some lime juice every day to prevent scurvy. And of course having my son proved it out, for when he was old enough to go to sea he did well."
Anne for her part was happier to hear the women's advice relating to pregnancy as it was much less embarrassing. Anne had learned much about this topic from Mrs. Robertson (and the midwife she had visited on Mrs. Robertson's advice), but as both women had told her, every woman had their own experience. While Anne's kind heart ached in hearing about the Crofts' losses, in hearing her story she felt closer to her, too. Anne delighted in experiencing Mrs. Holmes's remembered joy. Was that not what ever woman longed for, to give a child to her husband, to raise a child in whom she could be proud?
Meanwhile, Captain Wentworth was speaking with Mr. Dash and the conversation was not going as Frederick had planned. Mr. Dash was insisting, "Captain Wentworth, you are being most unwise in keeping the men cooped up so. Yes, disease is a risk, but men are not like horses that you can keep ever corralled. You must either allow them shore leave or the comfort of women. My mates and I have been busy tending all sorts of fighting wounds (many more besides the larger brawl) and our beds hold almost as many injured as if we had just fought a battle. Should this keep up, soon most men will not be fit for duty. How you can be thinking of bringing your bride and her companion into the middle of this all, is beyond my keen. You risk their safety. I thought when you initially denied that the women could board that you were going to make the men work for the privilege, but now they are losing all hope that you will relent."
"What else can I do under such circumstances?" Frederick asked, exasperated. "I will not be the first man to ban such activities aboard my ship. I believe most men do likewise on 'Hen Frigates.' I know for a fact that Admiral Croft does not allow such activities aboard his ship."
Mr. Dash placed his hands on his hips. "Well then I suggest you discuss with Admiral Croft what he does to deal with the men's restlessness. Perhaps he lets them satisfy their desires on the shore. All I can tell you is that while your wife may be safe, for the men would fear your wrath, her companion may not be. Should you wish them both aboard, at minimum they ought to both be married. If I were to examine her and determine she be free of disease, I would take the companion to wife myself."
A/N: I'm going to leave this chapter there. I've got a good portion of the next chapter written and hope to get it finished and posted sometime later this week. Up next, Frederick and Anne will go to visit the church to arrange for their wedding; everything will not go as planned.