Authors Notes: if it wasnt obvious (which it completely was not obvious) this chapter is making a reference to one of the Seven Koopa Hotels in Hotel Mario! now some of you may be wondering "dude who in the WORLD are these new characters" well Boy do we have a mystery to show you! back in the 90s, DIC made an animated adaption of mario! no not the mama luigi one. this one came before that! playlist?list=PL84C5877FB38755DF hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as we enjoy writing them!
- ouen
Deep within the woods surrounding Dark Land, which is weird cause it's constantly on fire, there lie the ancient relics of the royal family. Broken mechs and vine-covered ships were scattered amongst the vast junkyard of a forest. But one structure remained almost untouched by time. What appeared to be a towering castle, surrounded by dead flowers and flickering light fixtures. "Hmm. This sucks. Let's head back!" Larry nonchalantly turned around from the massive building. He was immediately picked up by the collar of his windbreaker.
"OH NO. LARRY NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU TELL MORTON, "HEY, GO INSIDE BIG SPOOKY FOREST CASTLE TOGETHER" AND NOW WE HERE! WE'RE GOING IN THE CASTLE."
"Yeah, well I changed my mind!"
Larry tried his best to scuttle out of Morton's claws, but Morton, being the God of Chaos, was too powerful. "WE GO IN RIGHT NOW! AND FASTLY!" Morton then used Larry's head as a battering ram for the gate surrounding the building and they both crossed the bridge leading up to the foreboding wooden front door. Larry sighed.
"Uagh. Well, worse things have happened to us compared to going in a old cruddy hotel. What's the worst that could happen?" Lightning struck outside, with perfect timing. "Okay, I deserve whatever's gonna happen next for that."
The inside of the hotel was, well, dated. There was Victorian era-styled furniture, stain glass windows, and a calendar from 1994 was still up near the register. A few of the lights were still functioning and the candles and torches that lined the walls were all lit. "Ugh… Who even had the money to fund a dump like this?" Larry snarked. The floors creaked as they walked through the vacant castle. "BEAT MORTON. BET THEY LIKE HALLOWEEN TOO MUCH." Morton added, trying to look out of a murky window. "LARRY. MORT MAYBE WANT TO GO. NOW." There was dead silence following Morton's remark. "LARRY…?"
Morton turned around to find no trace of his brother. "LARRY LOST? WHERE HE GO…?" Suddenly, Morton heard a clanking sound. It got closer and closer to the seemingly alone koopa. "BOO!" Larry shouted, popping out of a suit of armor that stood in the hallway. "AH!" Morton reacted by slamming his hammer into the armor. "BAHAHA! That hurt!" Larry put on the helmet and stuffed the un-slammed pieces of armor into a bag.
"Dude. We -gotta- keep these. They're probably worth millions by now!" "LARRY. NO DO THAT AGAIN." Morton said as he slapped the eye-shield on Larry's new helmet down. "WH- Hey!"
They both shared a laugh, putting the least damaged parts of the suit together. But as their giggle-fit ended, an unknown cackle echoed through the halls.
"LARRY."
"What?"
"YOU MAKE THAT SOUND?"
"How the heck would -I- make that sound? I'm right here!"
"MAGIC!"
"N- NO! It's not me, you goofus! It's still going on right now!"
"WELL IF IT NOT YOU, AND NOT MORTON… THEN…"
The laughter grew in volume as the boys turned to find the source of it from the top of the stairs behind them. The figure stood in front of a massive window, thunder cracked outside with perfect timing once again. The silhouette of the unknown newcomer seemed very familiar, but something was off…
"GHOST. GHOST!" Morton got up and stood in front of Larry, mallet out and burning. "CRUSH HOTEL GHOST!" Lightning stuck, revealing the identity of the shrieking cobalt mystery looking down on them from the stairs. "That's no ghost!" Larry shouted. "That's our SIGNAL TO LEAVE!" Larry, using probably all of the energy in his body, grabbed his brother's wrist and darted down the hall and straight to the door.
"Oh, this is the perfect spot for my new base! King Dad will be so proud that I've found a new home between dimensions for my latest secret lab!" The figure cackled once again, basking in the genius of his plan.
. . .
I got sandwich crumbs all over me. It's me! Ignatius Jones: Private Eye! Last week, my brother Ludwig and I started a detective agency in our secret Noir Closet Room! Just yesterday we found someone's missing moped! It was in a lava pit! So cool! Solving crimes is tough, but I'm gonna do my best! BAHAHA! Today's kinda slow however… No crimes in sight! I mean these crumbs might count b-
"And -you- said -I- monologue too loud!" Ludwig dropped his fork and knife on top of his BLT. "How come you're doing it in the kitchen anyways?!" Iggy just stared at his brother for a solid 15 seconds before continuing.
Being a detective's great! You get to wear a neat hat and coat and solve problems! Maybe someday we'll get a big case on our hands! With ghosts! Or tax fraud! Maybe both! AHAHAHA!
"How are you making that sound with your mouth."
"ROOM SERVICE!" The kitchen door swung open. It was Larry and Morton.
"Lorem Ipsum or Whatevertheheck! Get outta my brother, ghost!" Larry hollered as he began to pelt salt at Ludwig. "SPOOKY SPIRITS BEGONE." Morton dumped the whole bag on him. "I beg your pardon?!" Ludwig shouted, before he was covered in a pile of salt. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The blue koopa jumped out of the salt pile, dusting the salt off of his coat and out of his hair. "Good work, Morton!" Larry gave his brother a high-five. "Can one of you explain what in blazes is going on, or so help me!" Ludwig crossed his arms, giving his brothers a very piercing look.
"Looks like an exorcism!" Iggy commented. "Can I join?" "The more the merrier!" Larry replied. "Ooh! Iggy! Get the boiled gatorade! Mort! Hold 'em down!"
The two of them slightly panicked as they scrambled over to the stove and the salt covered Ludwig. "I saw this on TV." Larry said, pulling out an ancient looking tome. "2 garlic cloves… Half a cup of parm- Ahh, beans! This ain't a spell book! This is a fettuccine alfredo recipe!" He chucked the book over to the stove. "ACK!" Iggy pulled the book away from the fire. "Hey, does this mean I can just make this instead of gatorade? I could go for some pasta right now."
Iggy read through the ingredients for the sumptuous pasta dish and nodded. He proceeded to gather the ingredients for his fettuccine alfredo. He spent a few minutes pondering if he should make his own pasta or not, but it was almost midnight and his appetite for noodles reached its peak. He was gonna have it now or never. He looked over the cookbook carefully, gathering all his cooking inspiration. Iggy grabbed an apron and chef hat, putting them on. It was as if a master chef was ready to go to work.
Iggy grabbed himself a knife, doing a cool trick with it and a small cutting board. He chopped up the garlic finely, making sure to use swift and quick motions. He tossed the garlic into the saucepan. The aroma of the garlic as it sizzled in the oil filled the kitchen almost instantly. He dumped a whole box of noodles into the pot to boil and started to go to work on the sauce. With the garlic cooked, he threw in some butter and cream, combining the ingredients together, forming an alfredo sauce. Salt and pepper to taste were added to the saucepan. Lastly, he carefully added in the parmesan cheese, incorporating it into the sauce. After a few minutes of adjusting the flavor and having too many taste tests by "accident", he combined the pasta into it. He proceeded to make a miniature plate of his culinary creation on a 2 inch dish, complete with mini garnishes and utensils. "Great tasting pasta!" Iggy exclaimed.
Meanwhile Morton and Ludwig were having the most intense slap "fight" ever. "UHH, WHAT NOW? HOW WE FIND OUT IF LUDWIG STILL HAVE GHOST?" "STOP TRYING TO EXORCISE ME, YOU IDIOTS!" Ludwig rolled over, falling off of the table. He stood up, dusting himself off once more. "Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! First off, that is NOT how you perform an exorcism! Secondly, DO I LOOK LIKE I EVEN NEED ONE?!" Ludwig tapped his foot, waiting for a response from anyone.
"But… We saw you at this really run down castle we found earlier! It's true!" Larry stated. "How could I have been there when I was in here making my darned BLT? Iggy, tell them!" Ludwig pointed over to Iggy. "Oh yeah! He was making his sandwich! He was all 'This BLT is gonna be the greeeeatest in the world! Blah blah, I'm Ludwig!'" Iggy said with a mouth full of his own sandwich. "SO, LUDWIG NOT HAVE GHOST?" Morton asked. "Yikes. Sorry about that, Luddy." Larry added.
"As you should be!" A thought came to Ludwig. Haunted castle with a mysterious figure? Sounds like the start of a mystery! "Larry! Morton! Tell me… Where is this castle in question? I'd like to do some snooping with Iggy here." Iggy slammed his sandwich down. "BAHAH! OH YEAH, MYSTERY TIME! WE GOTTA SLAP SOME GHOSTS!"
The four of them arrived at the gate of the castle, which is the least safest thing to do at almost midnight. The gate was still open from the ramming, but the front door was closed once again. "This thing looks straight out of a campy horror film. Or some kinda Halloween stock art!" Iggy yelled in excitement. "But I can't help but feel we've seen this place before… Got any idea what it is, Lud?" Ludwig examined the castle walls and windows, trying to ring any bells in his memory. "Hm, can't say anything comes to mind right away…"
The lads walked through the dark hotel entrance and made it to the main foyer. "We saw that… thing… around here!" Larry pointed towards the main stairs. "Well, we were in the hall and it was a different staircase but WHATEVER IT WAS CAME FROM UPSTAIRS!" "Ooh! We could try to lure it down here!" Iggy turned towards Morton.
"Mort, do you still got that boombox on ya'?"
"MORTON ALWAYS HAVE BOOMBOX."
"Oh cool! Ca- Always?"
"IT LOOK COOL!"
"...Valid. Yeah! Can you hold it up for one sec?"
Iggy opened the cassette player and stuck something in. "What exactly are you doing?" Ludwig asked.
"Why, it's my infamous Halloween mixtape of course! HIT IT, MORT!"
"Oh no."
"AH!" Morton slapped the play button on the box and a loud synth-y beat began blaring.
Iggy's "Infamous Halloween Mixtape" is a collection of midis in the style of old novelty halloween songs that he had thrown together in high-school, complete with original, yet nonsensical, lyrics he wrote by himself. Every first of October he blasts it over the castle intercom, broadcasting his singing throughout the whole building. His determination to play it every year changed from pure excitement, to ironically keeping it up and forcing others to hear it, to unironic enjoyment of the silly tracks. The first track, the shortest and most dreadful song out of all of them, started and Iggy, in a loud shrieking voice, started to sing.
HALLOWEEN IS FINALLY HERE
LET'S ALL SLAP TO THE HOLIDAY CHEER
THE TIME OF THE YEAR TO ACT LIKE FOOLS
TO DRINK THE CIDER, AND DRESS LIKE GHOULS
"Wow! I hate it!" Larry yelled over the music. "PLEASE, Ignatius, turn it OFF! You're going to scare the ghosts AWAY from here at this point!" Ludwig hollered, plugging his ears.
JUST GRAB A CAPE, NO TIME TO SPARE
I GOT SOME OF THIS CHOCOLATE IN MY HAIR
AND IF THE NIGHT'S OVERWHELMINGLY PUNGUS
THEN LET'S CHUNGUS, BUNGUS, AND ABSOLUTE GUNGUS
The next minute of the song was Iggy screaming. After it ended, he turned off the boombox.
"Iggy… What WAS that?" Ludwig asked, slightly concerned. "Raw talent! BAHAHA!" Iggy was just about proud of himself after that little performance of his. Sadly, raw talent can't bring out the souls of the dead, for there was still no sign of the mystery guest. "Good job, Igg Boy! You scared the ghost off with your AWFUL SONG!" Larry shouted. The only thing left to do was continue their search, which they proceeded to do.
Deep within the hallway, things got dimmer and things were getting gradually harder to see. Often times, the boys would collide with one another, not being able to see where they were going.
"Ouch! Who bumped into me?!"
"Hey, watch it!"
"SORRY! MORT BAD!"
"Dang it! My foot!"
It wasn't long before Ludwig got fed up with all the jostling in the dark. "Stop! Everyone! Will someone PLEASE take out a dang flashlight?" Iggy pulled out a flashlight from his trenchcoat pocket and turned it on. Morton took out The Whole Hot Mallet. "NOW THERE MORE LIGHT!"
"Alright. With two light sources at our disposal, we will split up in two groups." Ludwig ordered. "Ignatius and I will search the top floor of the castle. You and Larry can check the 3rd. Any questions?" Larry raised his hand. "I wanna leave." "Any questions at all?" "WHERE'S BATHROOM?"
Iggy and Ludwig took the somehow functioning elevator up to the top floor. They figured if the ghost was gonna be anywhere in a mystery type situation like this, it'd be in the manager's office or something. The office was… clean! All of the furniture, cabinets, light fixtures, the organ in the back of the room, all clean! A dark mahogany desk accented the middle of the room, with some kind of scented candle on it. Behind the desk was a large maroon velvet lined throne of a chair. Suddenly all of Ludwig's past design choices came flooding back to him.
"Iggy. Remember when I said this place didn't ring a bell earlier. Well, that's definitely changed right about now. I knew this all looked familiar, I just couldn't place my finger on it at the moment." Ludwig felt the velvet-lined throne, recalling everything about the room. "Yes…This is my old hotel office. It almost feels like just yesterday I was sitting in here overjoyed at how successful I had become. If were in here, then…" Ludwig turned to Iggy. "This isn't just a castle at all! It's the Ludwig Castle Hotel!" Iggy was busy making shadow puppets on the wall with the flashlight. "The what?" Iggy replied. "I never thought we'd stumble upon one of my old establishments. Not to mention, I can't believe I forgot how close it was to home!"
"No wonder I didn't recognize it!" Iggy said, making his hand shadow match up with the words he was saying. "I was stuck at home! I probably blocked it out of my memory cause I wanted a dang hotel too. But hey! If you remember this room, do you remember any fun secrets hiding in here?" In the corner was a bust of Ludwig's head. Ludwig lifted the head, pushing a button. Suddenly, there was a loud sound coming from one of the bookcases. It was a secret door! "Gwehe! This is the way to my old secret lab! Follow me."
They went down the stairs. The different whirring and beeping sounds of the machines that still had power coursing through them got louder and louder as they approached the secret lab. They were about halfway there, when suddenly, Iggy's flashlight ran out of batteries.
"Darn it! No more battery juice! I can't see a ding-dong thing!" Iggy whacked the flashlight around a few times, hoping it'd make the juice be loose, but to no avail. "Did ya' bring a light? Or any spare batteries?" A pair of AA batteries were placed in his hands. "Sweet! Thanks, bro!" Iggy reached over to pat his brother. "Golly, Luds! You're super pointy today!" "I'm what?" Ludwig said at the bottom of the stairs. Iggy shined the light near whoever he was currently petting. Instead of his dear brother, he was greeted by… well, something that sure looked similar to him.
"Hmm. Hey, Ludwig. Check this out."
"What is it now, Igna- OH GOD WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"
Right next to Iggy was a very kooky figure. He looked to be about Ludwig's height; a koopa of the same stature as him, in fact. The hair was about the same shade of blue as Ludwig's, albeit less tame. His skin and shell were different colors, as well. However, the overbite was similar to Ludwig's. He was straight up a doppelganger of Ludwig Von Koopa!
Despite his brother's horrified reaction, Iggy was still patting this dude. "Hey! What's your name, ya' goober?" As he said this he started to pat faster. "Hey! Watch the merchandise!" the figure replied. "My name is Kooky Von Koopa!"
Iggy stopped patting and examined Kooky for a bit, maintaining eye contact for a solid 15 seconds. Yep. He sure was real. And he sure was [REDACTED]. "Nice! I'm Iggy! Ignatius Jones: Private Eye! Wanna be a detective with us? We're looking for a ghost!" Just as Iggy said this, his two other brothers were descending the stairs. "Hey Ludman, we didn't find the stinkin' ghost so I think Iggy's mixtape really did sc- HOLY HECK THAT'S THE GHOST!" Larry said, recoiling and promptly falling on his behind. "Ghost! Where?" Kooky looked behind him and all around frantically.
Ludwig was so astounded yet really baffled at finding out he had a "twin". "Er… Mr. Kooky. Why are...you me? I'M me!" Ludwig immediately shouted. "But YOU'RE the one who looks like ME here!" Kooky replied. The two began to bicker. But soon the bickering grew into Oh God They're Gonna Zap Eachother With Those Wands. Suddenly, Iggy remembered something.
"WAAAAAIT!" The blue blockheads stopped mid-cast. Iggy then pulled out an oversized piece of tupperware. "My pasta." He said softly.
The four of them sat awkwardly across each other in the hotel dining quarters. Iggy burst through the kitchen doors with one of those food carts. "Well, it took me forever to find soap for these plates n' stuff and hooking up the microwave was a nightmare but here we are!" He slammed down the pasta dishes on the table. "Do any of you know if soap expires? Oh well. Dig in!"
"I can't believe we're having dinner at ONE IN THE MORNING." Said Larry, with a mouthful of the alfredo. "ME NO CARE, PASTA GOOD!" Morton yelled as he was going to town on the pasta. Ludwig and Kooky stared at each other, slightly confused at whatever the dink was even going on. Ludwig looked at the pasta plate and took a single bite. "I believe we've gotten off on the wrong foot, Kooky. So, where do you come from?" Kooky, also going to town on the pasta, spoke up.
"I'm from Dark Land!"
"Really? How come I haven't seen you around?"
"I came through a big portal smack in the middle of this place! King Dad sent me to find a nice lab to take over, and I thought "Why not interdimensionally?""
"That's...brilliant, actually. A different Dark Land in a different dimension. Truly fascinating."
"A portal, huh? Spooky!" Larry remarked. "I must ask, however." Ludwig paused for a minute. "If you're supposed to be a direct doppelganger of me, then, do my other siblings...have doppelgangers as well? What I mean to say is...do you have siblings of your own?" Kooky perked up at the question.
"Oh boy, do I! There's Bully, Kootie Pie, Hip and Hop, Cheatsy, and Big Mouth!" He took a look around at the koopas.
"You resemble Big Mouth, in fact!" Kooky pointed to Morton. "MORTON TWIN NAME BIG MOUTH? AH!" Morton replied. Kooky pointed to Larry next. "...And you resemble Cheatsy!" Larry was already asleep, face-first in the plate of pasta. Finally, Kooky pointed to Iggy. "...And you resemble Hop! Do you have a sibling that looks just like you by any chance?" Iggy shook his head. "Twins don't run in the family! At least, I don't think so!"
Kooky slammed the fork down on the emptied plate, leaning back in his seat. "Hoo boy, am I stuffed!" he blurted. Iggy pumped his fist in the air. "I DID IT! I MADE EDIBLE PASTA! BAHAHAHA!" "Gwehe. I have to say, it was rather good!" Ludwig added. "Well, it's very late, and father must be at home worried sick about us." "I doubt it." chimed in Iggy. Before they decided to take their leave, Ludwig wandered off into the underground lab. He took in all of his machinery and thought to himself.
"Well, old lab. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss you. We had a lot of fun in here long, long ago…"
Ludwig turned around to find Kooky had followed him into the lab, however, he was unfazed. "Take good care of this place, alright?" Kooky gave a thumbs up "You got it!" he replied.
Morton, with the sleeping Larry slumped over his shoulder, was already at the door, waiting for the private eyes. "MORT GOT LARRY! READY TO GO!" "Hold on! I gotta get my nice tupperware back! I spent good money on it!" Iggy said, as he grabbed his tupperware. Ludwig was the last one at the door. "Alright, team. Let's get a move on before Iggy brings out another container of pasta…" Ludwig announced. The siblings waved goodbye at their new interdimensional friend and went their separate ways into the night.
The next morning was nothing unusual. The salt was cleaned from the kitchen floor, Larry was chasing a pigeon that had flown in with his horse mask on, and their dad had already grown accustomed to the boys' late night antics. But as Roy Koopa was about to find out, something new had already arrived.
"Ey. Get up."
"H- Who? What?"
"Y' got games on ya' phone?"
- - CASE 2: COMPLETE - -