Heya! It's me, Lemmy! Today, Iggy and I are stuck inside while everyone goes on a cool stealth mission thing at the Mushroom Kingdom. But we're not alone! We're hanging out with our dimensional doubles, Hip and Hop! They're pretty cool! One of them even has Iggy's old haircut! That's strange, though. They were in here a minute ago. Maybe they went to go get some extra snacks!
"Popcorn's done!" Iggy shouted, plopping down on the couch. "Having fun monologuing?" "You bet!" Lemmy dumped a pile of different games onto the floor. There was a big variety of premium games to choose from, however, Iggy's eyes set on a very specific game from a very specific person named "Bethany Esda". "Hey Lemmford, let's play this one!" He held up the "Fallout 4" game case. "That one? Why? It's super buggy and stuff!" "That's EXACTLY WHY I wanna play it! BAHAHA!" Lemmy shrugged, handing his brother the VR headset and its controllers.
"Yeah yeah yeah!" Iggy was overly elated to play the game. He put on the headset and striked a pose. Lemmy laughed. "'Kay, I'll start the game!" Lemmy announced, turning on the game console.
After two hours of character customization, with a few arguments of how the character should even look sprinkled in between, they were FINALLY ready to jump into the game. "Lemmy, look! It's my son! BAHAHA!" The television showed a fictional baby. "SHAWN! SHAWWWWWN!" Iggy yelled. The two of them chanted "Shawn" for the next few minutes. The boys went through the introduction for a bit, only to immediately get lost. They were really good at playing something as linear as this wrong. A few hours passed and they finally made it outside of the vault and into the open world.
"Iggy, watch this." Lemmy pulled out his wand, blasting the console. "Console! I command you to do something funny!" Lemmy yelled. The television suddenly showed the sky raining thousands of coffee containers. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"BAHAHAHA! Now that makes this game a lot more enjoyable!"
For a while, the boys spent time taking turns zapping the console, causing all kinds of in game havoc. From hundreds of animals being spawned to increasing amounts of no-clipping, to lots and lots of tri-juicing, whatever that even is. "BAHAHA! Lemmy! Ya gotta see this through the headset!" He handed his brother the VR headset, to which Lemmy put it on. "Whoa! Cool!" Suddenly, footsteps could be heard coming down the hall to the entertainment room where our boys were. It was the two tiny twins who had toddled their way into the room.
"Cool headset!" Hop exclaimed. "Can we try?" Hip asked, tugging the headset cords a bit. "Oh! Sure!" Lemmy said. He and Iggy helped the boys out with the VR fun and watched as the two had a blast putting together ridiculous weapons and tossing an endless supply of grenades every which-way.
After a few hours, Iggy and Lemmy fell asleep on the couch. Hop slowly placed the popcorn bowl over Iggy's head. The four boys had already gone through their whole game catalog leaving them with nothing much else to do. Hip tapped his brother on the shoulder. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He pointed over to the television. They both snickered as they pulled out their wands. "You know what they say!"
"Dad said," Hip started. "It's our turn to use the Xbox!" Hop finished.
The twins gave the game console a good ZAP. It sparked and flickered for a second and then it powered off. The two gave each-other a glance of confusion, and then shrugged. But as they turned around, a blinding white light engulfed the boys. It then engulfed the entire castle.
(...)
Iggy awoke on top of the desk of the office. He pulled out his phone to check the time. It was already the next day! He reached into his shell for his glasses and was met with a sight he did not expect. The whole office was all polygon-y! The window, the papers on the desk, even himself! "ACK!" Iggy shouted in a slightly muffled voice. "Someone pulled off my April Fools Day prank before I could!" But things were about to get way more unexpected.
"Ignatius." Ludwig swung open the office door. He was ripped. Absolutely shredded. Swole. He had a dang muscular body. "What did you do."
"I WISH I did this!" Iggy said, sliding off the desk. "But this wasn't my fault at all!"
"You're lying." Ludwig said formidably. He had a piercing gaze, his muscles throbbing with anger.
"I swear on a stack of pancakes! It's not me this time! And please! Put…" Iggy gestured towards his whole brother. "THOSE! Away! I beg you!"
Ludwig shook his meaty head. "I'd LOVE to, but I can't." "What d'ya mean?"
Kooky then entered the room, all pixelated. "BOY, am I REDACTED! You gotta take a look at this, quick!"
The three emerged from the room and into the hallway. There were Shy Guys t-posing everywhere. The carpet was clipping into the brick walls. Some of the quote-unquote "textures" of the building were glitched. The whole castle was in a state of disarray.
Then, a t-posing Bowser no-clipped through the wall. The three boys screamed.
"Alright. Which one of you boys did this?" He said exhaustedly. "Beats me!" shouted Iggy. "But check this out!" He just kept making his little square hands clip through each-other. His dad sighed. "Ugh. Fine. Whatever it is, FIX IT! You know where to find me." Bowser said, no-clipping back into the ceiling.
"Got any idea about what the heck's going on?" Iggy addressed. "I'm not quite sure!" Kooky said in a heavily filtered voice. "I came here to pick up the twins and ended up like this!" "Uh-oh. Where's the twins?!"
Suddenly, a bright red car sped through the hallways, gently bumping the Shy Guys away like they were helium balloons. As the car drove by, the three could clearly see the passengers of the car. It was Hip and Hop.
"Hey!" Iggy hollered angrily. "How'd those two get a dang car?!" "We'll talk about that later. Right now we need to follow that car!" His arm was then latched onto by his blocky brother. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's GO GO GO!" They scuttled after the tiny car. Ludwig's new powerful leg muscles gave them a slight speed advantage.
Going through the castle was about as on par as going through a fun house. Objects were clipping through one another, certain parts of walls were jutting outward, everyone was moving erratically. Hip and Hop maneuvered their way through the polygon castle. Hop turned around to see Ludwig charging at them at full speed.
"Yikes! They're onto us, Hip! Step on it!" Hip hit the gas pedal promptly, zooming down the hall. The distressed and heavily t-posing Bowser suddenly stepped through the wall in the boys' way. "You two! Have you seen my glasses? I can't read my paperwork without them!" Before he could say anything else, he was bumped into by the speeding siblings and began slowly floating backwards. "Hrph. Well, it can't get any worse than this." "GWAH! GAIN WAY!" Ludwig yelled before crashing right into Bowser, making him ragdoll upwards towards the roof.
It was like a high speed chase through the matrix, but the boys wouldn't give up just yet. Hip made an immediate right into the castle's dining hall. Two koopa chefs were hauling a giant pot of soup. "Alright, this soup is perfect for tonight! It's Bowser's favorite and it took us approximately 72 hours to prepare! Nothing could go wrong." With comedic timing, the red car made its way through the dining hall. Hip swerved the car around the soup chefs and continued onward. "Phew! That was strange…" With no warning at all, all of the soup floated out of the pot, no-clipping through the ceiling. "Gwargh! It's my favorite soup!" Bowser yelled from above, wherever the dink he even was.
The soup chefs looked up. "Ah. I stand corrected…THAT was strange." All of a sudden, Ludwig came bustin' through, knocking the soup chefs out of the way, continuing his hot pursuit.
The chase continued as they made their way through the literal twisting and turning hallways. "Dang it! They're getting faster!" Iggy yelled, holding on to his ripped brother for dear life. "Or we're getting slower cause we're riding on a guy. Ya got any more horsepower stored inside those pecs, Ludwig?" "In my WHAT?!"
"Guys!" A familiar voice cried out. It was Lemmy's! But he looked quite different. Different as in he was a human boy driving a huge truck. "Grab on!"
The boys gripped on to any part of Ludwig they could as he hopped into the enormous vehicle. In the car was Lemmy, a few rocket launchers, and Roy but with a tall body and slightly elongated limbs. "WHOA!" Roy shouted. "Ludwig got BEEFY!" "Yes, yes. We've established this multiple times." Ludwig huffed. "HE BUFF NOW!" A loud voice erupted from the truck. "Wh- Mort?" Iggy looked towards the car speakers. "HAHAH! ME GOT TURNED INTO A CAR!" "Well, don't stop me from… stopping you… doing whatever that is! BAHAHAHA! Corner that car towards the staircase ahead! I got an idea!" The Mort-Mobile gained in speed, quickly approaching the twins.
The boys turned back to see the pack of koopas had grown in size. "Speed up! Gas pedal!" Hip slammed on the gas once more, making another turn into a familiar looking staircase. The dark and red staircase was lined with portraits of Bowser. Hip and Hop sped up the stairs for what seemed forever. "We've got" Hop started. "...a LONG way to go." Hip finished. Hip shifted into reverse, beginning to back out of the staircase.
The Mort-Mobile stopped at the bottom of the stairs, blocking any chance of escaping. "We got you right where we want you!" Iggy yelled. "Yikes!" The car stopped at the bottom of the stairs.
Kooky leapt out of Ludwig's hair and on top of the car. "Hip! Hop! The jig is UP!" The tiny boys got out of their car. "Before you say anything…" Hop said. "...How do you know WE turned this castle into a game wreck?" Hip followed. Ludwig stepped in, pulling out a calling card. "I believe THIS proves it…" The card had two crude drawings of Hip and Hop on it followed by "We did it! We played on the X-Box!" written in crayon.
"It's… not even an Xbox. ...Well, mystery, uhh… Solved? I mean it was sorta solved earlier when we saw them driving the big honking car. Like, we knew it was them and not some benevolent game spirit or something." Iggy said, examining the card. "I suppose we like confrontation too much. We are in this detective business, after all." Ludwig noted. "ME STARTING TO GET SICK OF BEING CAR." Morton hollered, driving uncomfortably close to everyone.
"We're sorry, everyone." Hip and hop said in unison.
Back into the entertainment room, the boys waved their wands together, aiming it at the game console before just walking over and pushing the "off" button. Every effect on the castle almost instantly faded away. Textures returned back to normal, the Koopalings and their counterparts returned back to their normal koopa states, and Bowser no longer t-posed fiercely and furiously. "Huh. You mean to tell us we coulda just turned the console off?!" Lemmy asked. Hip and Hop nodded silently. "Why didn't you tell us?" Ludwig asked next. "We were having too much fun driving through the castle!" The twins said in unison once again. "How come my arms and legs got long." Roy questioned. The duo just shrugged. They honestly had no idea how it got like that.
"MORTON ACTUALLY MISS BEING TRUCK! MORTON NOT FAST ANYMORE." Morton sulked a little, but Lemmy gave him a reassuring smile. "That's okay! You can turn into a truck whenever you want! That's what our wands are for! ...I think." Morton perked up and raised his wand, waving it around. "SKIDADDLE, SKIDOODLE, UHH… MORTON WANT BECOME TRUCK!" he shouted. However, again, being the God of Chaos, he underestimated his power, turning everyone in the room into trucks.
"Uh. Okay, this is actually the opposite of what the wands are for." said Lemmy.
- - CASE 4: COMPLETE - -