A/N: SMUT also Choko are the names of sake bowls people drink from.

He wasn't interested in eating the delicious rice cakes he bought, but he was patient as Mitsuri poured her heart out apologizing profusely for running away ... and for being duped. He reassured (numerous times) that it wasn't a big deal and from there, they talked about all sorts of things: training, demon-slaying, the new recruits (though their opinions differed greatly on the latter). He even shared a little about his own life, confirming that Shinjuro, Kyojuro's father, did indeed save him many years ago.

Learning that they both trained under different generations of the same family made her so excited she couldn't stop asking more questions about him. But when she mentioned the arm-wrestling tournament they did for Tomioka, Iguro's face turned sour.

"Ugh, the nerve of that asshole! We went out of our way for him that day and he still made so many excuses!" he grumbled, turning his head away.

"Oh? I always thought you didn't like Tomioka because you and him were so similar?" He was resting his cheek in the palm of his hand on her table when he looked at her.

"We are not similar." He sighed.

"You are though!" She giggles, pointing at him.

"Kanroji, Are you saying I hate Tomioka because I'm projecting onto him?" he inquires.

"That's exactly what I think!" She laughed innocently. "You both keep to yourselves, you're super smart and quick to analyze, and you're super reliable. In fact, Giyu provides amazing support. He's really strong too-"

"-Need new ones?" He interrupted, pivoting the conversation off Tomioka entirely. He noticed her stockings were coming undone and offered to replace them, but she declined, insisting that he had already done enough for her.

"Iguro, Y-you..." she fiddled with her empty chalis. "You came all this way and you listened to me all night a-and you bought my favorite food can't you at least have a drink with me?" Sure the first jug was depleted in its entirety but she did have a second jug of sake. She hoped he'd accept this small token atleast. "I won't force you but... I'd really appreciate it."

His heterochromatic eyes flicker with a hint of hesitance.

"I suppose..." he says slowly, turning his head to scratch his nose "if you don't mind the..."

He doesn't finish.

But he agreed, and that's all she cared about. She hands him two choko bowls taking two for herself, pours the sake and then cheers loudly before downing them both. He doesn't drink immediately, instead turning away to loosen his bandages as he sips the sake to taste and then downs them both covering his mouth again with an exasperated grimace.

"Iguro, you dun have to wear that." she slurs, "Trust me I don't mind. I'm sure you look very beautiful underneath" she beams merrily, he meets her gaze again a bit doe-eyed before turning red.

Ohmigosh, Is he blushing?! Its so cute! So Cute! She doesn't think she's ever seen him embarrassed before. Then as if reading her mind, he apologized, stating he had a low tolerance for alcohol explaining the glow.

"Oh." she says before lapsing back into silence.

Would it be fair to keep Iguro drinking like this? She wonders as she wrings her skirt tightly in her hands. Now that he's met his obligation to her would it be selfish to force him to stay longer? What more did she want with him?

"I'm free tomorrow," he surprises her again, "so if you wanna keep talking, I'm all ears, Kanroji."

"Iguro did you just read my mind?!" She points her eyes half-lidded now seeing double. But he disregards the question (that or the alcohol made him sluggish). She thinks back to the arm wrestling tournament they held for Tomioka specifically how Rengoku's joke about his glasses fell flat to everyone and he how never realized.

"Hey, Iguro ...Do you think he lied today because of me?" she asked suddenly getting serious. A joke that fell flat... thats an apt description for how she feels.

"I think he just had pressing matters at home to attend to." he responded calmly.

"Then why lie? He never lies! That's not who he is," she exclaimed, feeling her heart pumping in her ears. There was no way he'd simply lie about going home. Not to her of all people, she knew him! It was completely out of character which means it had to be her, right?

"Even the deepest oceans are allowed to feel shallow sometimes, Kanroji." Iguro said, as he leaned back with his palms on her floor, eyes closed and serene letting the booze sweep him. "I know you worship him, we all do, but remember he is still human, it's in our nature to lie sometimes. Especially if we think the truth will hurt more."

She thought about that, really thought about it. Lying wasn't who she is either yet she's fabricated parts of herself to appease others; Dyed her hair, starved herself, hid her strength; Pretended to be something she wasn't. It wasn't until the master sat her down and said her birth was a blessing, not a curse to hide did she finally stop lying to others, but more importantly herself. She was slightly embarrassed to hear Iguro use the word 'worship' so casually but wasn't that also the truth? Didn't she worship Kyojuro? So much that she wanted to be with him? Become one with him? Not just in holy matrimony but in other ways too...

"Iguro, do you... do you think Rengoku likes me?" Of course by 'like' she did not mean platonically, but she had a feeling Iguro knew that.

The amount of time he took to answer this question was insufferable but when he did, his response was very mature and thoughtful. "Have you asked him if he likes you, Kanroji?"

"y-yes, w-well I think I ..." her voice trembled with uncertainty searching her clouded memory for the answer. Had she? Sure, she left plenty of hints and yes she's pined for him for a long time but had she actually told him point-blank how she feels?

"I don't know..." she admits defeated, "b-but shouldn't it be obvious? It should be obvious if someone likes you, right?"

"No. Not at all," Iguro replied quickly. It wasn't the pragmatic 'no', but the speed at which he responded that caused her to think twice. "Unless these things are stated explicitly, it's possible the other person never finds out. I suggest you tell him exactly what you feel," he elaborated.

"What I feel?" She repeated vacuously. She was completely lost about what she truly wanted. Sure she had a deep desire to be with Rengoku, but it's been way too long and now that wish seemed like an impossible dream. So What did she want now?

"Iguro..." she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I don't want him just in my head..." she murmurs, "I want him in my bed too..." When she realized she spoke that thought out loud A tidal wave of shame washed over her, but Iguro didn't judge or laugh.

He never did.

"I wouldn't lose heart, Kanroji. There is a chance he'll accept." He replied earnest as always. She didn't know what surprised her more, that he took her word at face-value or that he wasn't surprised by it. Almost like he knew before she knew.

"There isn't," she slouches, melancholy. She appreciated the optimism, but she knew deep down that it was unlikely. "he always puts his heart into everything he does. If being with me was on that list he would've..." she doesn't finish, she can't. She had to move on now. She wanted intimacy not just praise. She wanted to be loved not just worshipped from afar. And worse still, despite all the cruel, and shallow rejections in life she still felt the fault lied with her somehow; someway. Why wasn't she good enough?

A love pillar who doesn't understand love? How sad...

While talking to Iguro was a welcome distraction she needed more than a distraction; She needed something stronger to keep the darkness at bay and to remind her that she wasn't alone. What she wanted now was...

"Iguro, will you stay with me tonight?" she asked, eyes to the floor.

"Of course, Kanroji," he replied without hesitation.

Her head shoots up, "You will?" she asked, disbelieving. "Iguro, do you really mean that? Please tell me you do... please," she begged, grabbing his hands and bringing her face closer to his.

The look he gives is undeniably tender as he nods. "I mean it. You don't have to be alone tonight."

She blinks at him. I don't have to be alone tonight? She couldn't stop the tears from falling as she covered her face in both shame and relief. She half-expected him to leave or chastise her for being an emotional sap when she was supposed to be a hashira but instead he scoots closer comforting her with a gentle arm around her shoulder. An when she clings to him, he held on tightly, letting her cry without judgment or questions.

After calming down, she lifts her head to whisper in his ear, his long raven hair tickled her nose when she did, but it didn't deter her from leaning in close with her cherry lips and saying, "Thanks Iguro, is the bed OK?"

Goosebumps immediately erupt on his exposed neck when she leans back to take in his expression. His two-toned eyes were bright and alive with the first emotion she's ever seen. He coughs roughly into his sleeve, and stammers a response, "Ohh, uh, I thought y-you meant... I -I mean I can stay but..."

"Huh?! " she leans closer to his face but he shakes his head mutely, seemingly losing all motivation to stay at all once he realized what she really meant.

Was he nervous? It was strange to see him nervous. In all the time she had known him, he had never been nervous about anything. He was like her perfect opposite: stoic, resilient, cool-headed, smart; all qualities antithetical to what she was, but tonight, the roles had reversed entirely. She told him what she wanted, but now he was being wishy-washy about it. Though she couldn't help but find it adorable as he stuttered what sounded like another weak attempt at protest...

"So pretty." She blurts absentmindedly, "...your eyes." she marvels, inspecting him a bit too intimately, twirling his raven hair between her delicate fingers while tracing the effeminate contours of his face. His breath hitches and he grabs her shoulders giving them a tight squeeze, "No, don't... I-I couldn't, Mitsuri...!"

Mitsuri? She swooned again watching him blather on more reasons why he shouldn't be here. But she get it. He was a hashira he didn't need permission to go. She didn't understand why he wouldn't do the one sensible thing and simply up and leave. Frustrated by his conflicting statements, she tried to get through to him, "Iguro..." she breathes quietly, "Just tell me what you want."

Silence. Not awkward, but a heavy silence.

He seemed surprised; shocked at her question. As if nobody had ever asked him that before. He regarded the question scrupulously before clearing his throat and redirecting the question back to her.

"Mitsuri, what do you want from me?" He asked much calmer, his almond eyes fixed on the floor, bashfully. "I-I think it would be unwise with it being so late and your place so close to the butterfly mansion for me to sleep here-" She kisses him. She leans in and kisses him on his bandaged lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

At the time, she chalked it up to the liquid courage, but looking back she's certain there was a deeper reason she wanted him to stay, and she wanted him to want to stay too. Iguro never resumes his point because she had literally stolen the words right from his mouth so she leans back into his ear and purrs EXACTLY what she wants from him.

In an instant all his uncertainty is pushed, all his insecurity, all his reservations too as he gives into temptation kissing her back fiercely; longingly as if they could die at any moment. It was the metaphoric straw that broke the camel's back. Their hands roam each others bodies; tugging; lifting; pulling... and before she knew it they were in her bedroom.

She smiles against his lips pushing him backwards on the bed. It was the first time, in a LONG time she was wanted, even if for the wrong reasons. Mitsuri won't lie. She had fallen in love too many times with too many bad men to be pure, but Iguro's willingness was an incredibly potent aphrodisiac. He was like the model of self-restraint even more so than Rengoku in a lot of ways...

N-no... don't think about him, She chastises mentally when her heart wavers. It's done, Mitsuri, Focus! Shaking Kyojuro from her head she turns and asks "Iguro, do you need help?"

At first he appears frozen which tugged an unwitting giggle from her. But then, he was frightened, "Iguro?" No, not frightened- he was terrified! His breathing becomes ragged and his eyes dilate in fear, she could see the whites of his eyes they were so wide!

"What's wrong!?" his heart was pounding so loud she could hear it from where she stood, and she worried he'd have a panic attack.

"Iguro, Don't be afraid!" she tried but despite her attempt at reassurance, he continued to spiral. He covers his bare face instinctively with his hands and that's when she recognized what was causing him to panic. Thinking quickly, she took off one of her socks.

"Don't be afraid" she repeats quietly and climbs onto the bed telegraphing her movements to him. "I'll take care of you," she whispers reaching around and tying her long sock around his mouth.

The relief was instantaneous. He calms down, letting out a half-lidded breathy sigh in response. His entire body relaxed on the bed, returning to normal.

This was too much. She went too far. It was enough for her to be wanted, to be desired, not as a Pillar to the lower enlisted, or a heroine in the eyes of the townsfolk, but as a woman. As an equal. Yes it was more than enough that he stayed and chatted, nothing more. So she climbs off the bed and goes in her linen closet to set up on the floor.

"Mitsuri...?" he perks curiously, "I-I'm sorry you had to see that. But I'm all right now. We can continue."

"It's fine, Iguro ignore what I said before."

"But you said..."

"It's fine you don't have to..."

"No, please!" He persisted clearly not sharing the same sentiment. "I'm still willing if you are!" he said frantically. She looked at him with torn eyes, too hesitant to proceed as her mind raced with conflicting thoughts.

But he didn't even wait, he sits up slowly and removes both his tops. Even does her the courtesy of undoing his belt with a click. She should've known considering how pushy he is about paying bills yet, that despite the surge of intensity from before, his hands still trembled in his lap.

Iguro...

She couldn't leave him. She knew how it felt to be left dangling at the mercy of someone else's decision completely exposed. So she held his hands tightly, stilling them. Her mind now made up too. "Thank you." she says kissing each knuckle softly.

Everything happened quickly after that. She unbuttons her shirt and shakes both tops off in one swift movement so they're dangling off the belt at her waist. He yanks his pants off, dropping them unceremoniously to the floor, and she does the same with her undergarments.

And now completely naked and no impediments in the way, they simply stare at one another. Her eyes glazed by alcohol, very brazenly absorb his petite form while his timid ones, also clouded with alcohol take her voluptuous physique in quick searching glances as if afraid he'd burn if they lingered longer. But there is a mutual desire here she can feel... no, she can see it with her eyes.

"Is this your first time?" she asks with a soft smile. He gives a non-committal grunt which she takes as yes. She crawls over him like a cat on the prowl as he rolls back slowly onto her bed, and wraps her arms around his neck, laying her large breasts to his chest and stares into his eyes, "Are you ready?"

Again he makes a sound that's hard to decipher but she takes it as yes. So she sits up to a straddle aligning her body with his before slowly lowering herself, allowing him to plunge into heaven.

The sound he makes is ... absurdly comical!

Like a pained wheeze! It was the most ill-composed she's ever seen him even with his face half covered. his expression drifted between ethereal and afflicted as if he couldn't decide if this was in fact heaven or hell, she had to bite her lip to hold back a laugh.

Poor Iguro.

She figured she'd take it slow (in case he didn't last) savoring the union for all its worth.

But faint footsteps and murmurs of female voices steal their attention briefly, his eyes flicker back into uncertainty again, but when the women pass by completely unaware, she refocuses him back to her naked body reassuring that they're still OK and she's still with him.

And he stays.

She could almost cry she was so happy! Even in this deeply vulnerable state he still took her word seriously. At some point he does reach up to cup her large breasts lazily as an afterthought, which pleased her into moving faster. And then it all came to a head.

The only sound he makes the entire time was when he cums; a strangled sort of gasp followed by a final thrust of his slender hips, the alcohol was extremely inhibiting but she was satisfied and collapses onto his chest basking briefly in the afterglow. Oddly, his skin was dry and cool to the touch, while hers was hot and slick with perspiration.

Wow. She thinks. Somehow despite all his anxiety, he didn't break a sweat the entire session.

Even as the ecstasy of their copulation faded and her drunkenness lulled her to sleep, she was happy.

Happy he talked.

Happy he stayed.

Happy he is staying now.

Iguro stayed. At least as long as it took for her to go to sleep.

By morning he is gone.

Next chapter:

"I am truly sorry, Kanroji." Ok, not a good start. Those were 5 words she absolutely did not want to hear."