Josh was up first and he made the coffee and a heaping lot of scrambled eggs, toasted some bread for himself, and sat down to enjoy a peaceful breakfast.
Coffee and cooking did their tempting tease and woke up the battling brothers. But that should be okay; they usually didn't stay mad. Just look at how Jason had been trying to not laugh at Jeremy last night. Or should he call it earlier this morning?
"Morning, Josh," Jason said, pulling out a chair, before filling a plate and a cup.
"Morning it is. Or should I say still is? I was just asking myself that."
Jason's lips twitched. "Don't start."
"I just thought I'd ask."
"Lord almighty." Jason ran his fingers through his hair.
Jeremy got up and came to the table, silently. He didn't look at either of his brothers as he breakfasted.
His brothers did glance at him occasionally, but it was a quiet meal.
Jeremy took his plate to the dishpan, and refilled all the coffee cups and sat back down.
Jason and Joshua divided the rest of the eggs.
"J-jason?"
"Hmm."
"Are you still m-mad at m-me?"
"Are you still mad at me?"
Jeremy thought the question over, wondering what would be the best answer. "Yeah."
"Why?"
Jeremy shrugged.
"That's not an answer."
"I'm s-sorry." Jeremy was looking at his hands in his lap. "I ap-pologize."
"For what?"
"Y-yelling at you."
"Is that all?"
"F-for m-making you m-mad at me?"
"You tell me."Jeremy glanced at him and looked away. "D-don't know."
"What did you do that made me angry?"
Jeremy shrugged again and looked unhappy. "Said I was g-going to L-lottie's?"
"You're getting closer. You should have asked me, or taken me aside to tell me you had a problem. You should NOT have used that tone of voice, especially not in front of guests. That was both rude and unkind."
"I did tell you! A buncha times!"
"What did you tell me a buncha times?"
"That there was too many p-people. And you s-said there w-wouldn't b-be anym-more, and s-some of them would leave s-soon, but nob-body left and more just k-kept c-coming in and you t-t-told 'em all to c-come on in!"
"I don't remember that, not even once."
"B-because you was playing c-cards and t-tellin' stories."
Jason was silent, thinking it over. "If that's true – and I believe you – then I owe you an apology. For not paying enough attention to you. You still don't talk to me that way in front of people."
Jeremy threw his hands up in the air. "If there weren't people, I wouldn't have to say anything!"
Josh snorted, turned it into a cough, and began gathering the rest of the breakfast dishes.
"You are impossible," Jason said to Jeremy.
"But here I am!" Jeremy shot back.
Jason laughed. "Calm down. That was a joke."
Jeremy looked doubtful. It wasn't a very funny joke!
Jason went to put his boots on. "I think I'll join the after church meeting at Lottie's. Either of you want to come along?"
"I'll join you," Josh said.
"Jeremy?"
"No," he said, then politely added, "thank you."
Josh looked at Jason.
"I'll take my victories where I get them," Jason said, as he and Josh left together.
/
When Jason returned, Jeremy was leaning against the wall of the fireplace with his guitar in his lap. "Has Josh been?" Jason asked.
"He changed his shirt. Put on the blue one. Musta been a girl." Jeremy's lip curled slightly and he didn't look up.
"You don't think much of that, do you?" Jason poured out the last of the coffee and started a fresh pot, before sitting at the table.
Jeremy shook his head, and plucked a few strings.
"Jeremy, I do owe you an apology. The guys told me they saw you talking to me, and they even knew they should leave, but no one wanted to be the first to go."
Jeremy nodded.
"They also told me they were sitting or leaning on the beds, as well, which would have made it difficult for you to just go to bed. I should have seen that."
Jeremy raised his eyes to meet Jason's, then looked around the room, lingering on the beds. "Yeah. How did you not?"
Jason shook his head. "Just not paying attention, I guess. I'll have to work on that. Will you forgive me?"
"Uh-huh." Jeremy played a few bars of music, and looked up at Jason again. "When I y-yelled at you, even if I d-didn't really yell, did you get all on fire like when I hurt them b-boys?"
"Yes. Yes, I did."
"But you didn't y-yell at me until everyone was gone?"
"I've learned to – mostly – control the fire when it hits me. If you pay attention, you'll feel it start smoldering, to burn and build. You have to learn that, though. Any time your feelings start getting bigger than your thoughts, you'll learn to look out for it."
Jeremy nodded and returned his attention to his music.
Jason waited.
"How?" Jeremy asked. "How do you – not?"
"There are several ways. You'll have to find what works for you."
"Like what?"
"Hmm. Let me think. Well, counting to ten is a good start."
Jeremy looked skeptical.
"Yes, it is. If you can remember to do it, it gives you a chance like taking a deep breath does before you speak."
"Okay." He strummed, before asking, "What else?"
"Shouting; yelling. That works like throwing water on the fire. It dampens the fire and turns the heat into steam that just rolls away from you. Then there's physical activity, like chopping wood or climbing trees. Usually a better choice than hitting someone."
"Even if they need hit?"
"I did say 'usually.' It's not a good habit to get into – hitting people. Even if they deserve it."
"You used to get in fights a lot when we first came here."
"I did. I was younger then. I had to learn."
Jeremy nodded, but still looked doubtful.
"Don't worry. You will find what works for you. I just hope we can all survive the learning process."
"Uh-huh. Jason, is that why you got in a fistfight with Da? Because the fire came up?"
"That was a lot of it. I shouldn't have done it, I suppose."
Jeremy's lips turned up. "You s'pose?"
"I still think ,maybe, that he needed hit that time."
"B-but you w-went aw-way."
"I didn't really have a choice."
"I g-guess n-not," Jeremy agreed, and sighed heavily. "It never does just stay now, does it?"
"No."
"Does that mean it's always later?"
"Going on later, maybe."