Chapter 11 Eggman Misuses Tax Dollars

Eggman spun around in his swivel chair with glee. "That evil lair award is as good as mine. Just look at those granite countertops . . . chiseled right out of the volcanic rock."

"Yeah, and you'll never have to worry about heating bills again." Cubot added joyously.

Orbot shook his head. "If I may ask, sir, what exactly are we doing here? With all this interior décor, this lair looks like little more than a vacation home."

"I'll give you a permanent vacation if you criticize my lair design again." Eggman yelled, shaking his fist. "Evil Lair Monthly chooses their winner based on design, functionality, and coziness, so an evil scheme is one third of the battle, and I've devised one that will make me very rich and cozy. I'm going to drain the Earth's core of all its heat, and resale it at exorbitant prices."

Orbot and Cubot stared at each other. "But sir, if you cool the Earth's core would that not also destroy our planet's magnetic field, exposing us all to lethal solar radiation?"

Eggman smiled. "That's why I'm going to sell radiation shields as well. I hope everyone's been stockpiling sunscreen like I have! I guess that's what I get for building my lairs in the tropics."

He flipped a switch on his control panel, and a green, crystalline dome sprang up around them.

"I doubt this will protect us from the radiation, sir." Orbot said.

"Of course it won't, but it'll protect us from that ultimate buzzkill and his Chaos powers. My lair's defenses—funded by our generous taxpayers—can handle the rest."

"Yeah, because government weapons are so much better than weapons from the private sector." Cubot said with a shrug. "I bet that Shadow guy could hook you up with some arms dealers."

Eggman kicked him away. "Idiot! I'm not owing that Cosa Nostra casino magnet any favors. Next thing you know, you're going to secret parties where you have to pretend to like everyone and enjoy the substandard drinks or they'll make you go away for a long time . . . like I'm going to right now."

He hopped up from his seat and walked over to a circular platform. "I'll be in my emergency bunker bathroom getting freshened up for my interview. If the reporters show up, tell them I'm manifesting my doomsday plan. It's trendy with villain media these days."

The platform descended and, much to the relief of his robot assistants, Eggman was gone.

"Think we should start that heat extractor thing?" Cubot suggested, pointing to a giant red lever on the computer terminal.

"I don't see why not." said Orbot. "We might as well get as much use out of this base as possible before Sonic and his friends destroy it."

"Let's put this tax money to work!" Cubot exclaimed as he threw the lever.

Silver stumbled as the entire cavern around him began to collapse. He and Whisper had entered Eggman's lair through a cave she found after some brief reconnaissance. He grabbed some falling rocks with his psychokinesis just as they were about to crush Whisper. He threw them aside and helped her to her feet.

"Come on." Silver said, gritting his teeth. "We have to stop this gross abuse of the tax payers' money. As their minister of welfare, it's my duty to look after their financial and physical safety."

"A-alright." Whisper said. "I can smell the fuel. . . . This way."

A swarm of bee bots came around the corner along with Eggman in his Egg Mobile. "And I can smell unwashed house pets. I can't have you rodents scurrying around when the reviewers get here. It'll ruin my score!"

Silver jumped in front of Whisper and flung the bots into the cavern walls with his psychokinesis. "Whatever you're planning, Eggman, we're going to stop it. It's the will of the people."

"How can it be the will of the people when their tax money is on my side?" He smiled and pressed a button on his Egg Mobile's control panel. "Speaking of which, here's a gift from our generous tax base—my neuro disruptor field."

Silver gripped his head as a sterile, white light overcame his vision. "My head!"

"Isn't it great?" Eggman said gleefully. "It utterly incapacitates anyone with above-average psychic abilities. Thankfully, mine are just average. It really kills the wi-fi signal though."

He lurched as Whisper shot his Egg Mobile with her bolt-action rifle. Baring her fangs as she stared down the scope, she fired another shot, shattering the windshield.

"Real bullets!" Eggman exclaimed. "I'm just trying to win a competition here, but if you want to get serious, I'll be happy to oblige."

Laser turrets emerged from the walls and sliced across the corridor with sizzling strokes. Whisper dove behind a pile of rock with a nearly comatose Silver.

"Get out of here. . . ." he said, struggling just to rise to his knees. "Find Sonic and get everyone as far away from this volcano as possible. I know he doesn't mean to, but Eggman's going to destroy this entire chain of islands, perhaps the world."

"I'm not leaving you!" she said with uncharacteristic volume.

"No time. . . . If he takes me, maybe I can shut it down." He noticed tears dripping down her face and smiled. "Guess this proves I'm no god, huh? But it's not so bad. We knew we'd have to part ways sooner or later."

Whisper howled and kissed him almost violently. She turned and dove between a gap in the fallen rocks behind them, vanishing from his sight.

Eggman floated down next to him and smiled. "Aw, cheer up, Silver. Let's see how you like my dungeon that also doubles as a Zen rock garden."

"I, um, think I'd like that a lot." Silver said.

"Really?" He clenched his fists like a joyous schoolboy. "Oh, I hope the judges like it too."

Tails landed his biplane on a plateau next to the volcano that was now fuming with black smoke. Shadow and Mariah were observing a tablet while Rouge stared at the volcano through a pair of binoculars.

"Hey, Shadow." Sonic said, slapping him on the back. "What's the plan?"

"The plan is to hack one of Eggman's computers and get a schematic of his base." Tails said, stepping between them.

"Already got it." Mariah said, waving her tablet. "He wanted my opinion and emailed it to me."

"We're fortunate Eggman's insecurity knows no bounds." Amy said.

"But his physical security does." Tails said as he downloaded the schematic on his communicator. "I see why you haven't already destroyed everything, Shadow. There's some sort of Chaos forcefield disrupting the energy on the whole island."

"And the wi-fi." Sonic said, tapping his communicator.

Shadow crossed his arms. "Silver failed. You'll have to rescue him, Sonic. Rouge is going to disable the main defenses. Mariah and I are going to stop the drill. Is that clear?"

"Come on, Shadow." Sonic implored. "Why can't you save Silver?"

Shadow ignored him and turned to Mariah. "How much time do we have?"

She glanced at her tablet. "The drill will hit the core in about thirty minutes. Eggman plans to extract all the core's heat into a massive container within the volcano's shaft, but he miscalculated . . . by a lot. The entire volcano will explode, releasing the core's heat into the atmosphere, effectively turning the planet inside out. The ash and toxic fumes will block out the sun for years, killing most life on the planet."

"And that's bad, right?" Knuckles asked.

Tails rolled his eyes. "He's just pulling up all the heat and lava from the core, creating an artificial eruption that will decimate the earth for decades."

Knuckles scratched his head. "Oh. . . . Well, an artificial eruption can't be as bad as a real one, right?"

"Why does he want all the Earth's heat?" Amy asked. "It's not like we have bad winters in our tropical paradise."

"I bet he wants to hoard the planet's heat and sell it at outrageous prices so only the rich and powerful can stay warm." Sticks said, waving her arms wildly.

Mariah stared at her. "Actually, that's right. . . . At least, that's what he said in his email."

"He really thinks you're on his side, huh? Maybe you are!" Sticks said. "Hey, wait a minute. Didn't Whisper buy a Doomsday shelter on this island? Is she okay?"

Shadow rubbed his forehead. "I gave her the house, Sticks. . . . She tried to help Silver, poor kid. She's trying to evacuate the other residents. You should join her at the marina to the north. Aren't you good at warning people about impending disasters?"

"I was born to." Sticks said, giving him a salute.

She ran off just as Rouge was returning from the base. She flew down to Shadow and sighed.

"I got the door open, dear, but security's tighter than I thought. No one needs that many lasers. Talk about insecurity."

"Insecurity?" Knuckles asked. "I thought you said there was too much security?"

Sonic slapped Knuckles on the back. "Don't worry, guys. We'll handle it. Right, Tails?"

"Uh . . . right."

Sonic narrowed his gaze. "I said right, Tails?"

"That's right, Sonic!" Tails said intensely. "We always save the world!"

"And we've got to do it today," Sonic said, "or Amy and I won't make it to couples' night at Club Emerald."

The group split up. Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles entered through the main door while Shadow, Rouge, and Mariah snuck into the base through an air duct that vented a sweltering heat. Despite her best efforts, Mariah struggled to contort herself through the passage as she batted strands of sticky hair out of her face. Finally, she grabbed Shadow's foot and let him pull her through the vent until they fell from the ceiling and landed in a quaint home gym. Mariah landed on top of Shadow and Rouge and slowly crawled off them.

"Sorry." she said. "This must be new. It's not in the layout."

"Please, sweety. You barely weigh more than Shadow." Rouge said, fixing her gloves.

"Then you can fly her to safety if the plan doesn't work." Shadow said, leaving the gym.

Rouge and Mariah followed him into a long stony corridor with rich ambient lighting.

"No." Mariah said, running in front of him. "If the plan doesn't work, you should fly Shadow to safety. I'm the only one who can shut down the drill."

He glared at her. "That's absurd. I'll destroy it."

"It has a Chaos shield. You can't even touch it."

Shadow laughed. "You think I can't break a shield? This is Eggman we're talking about."

Rouge shrugged. "He's got a point, but as long as I get out, I'm not complaining."

She looked at Shadow affectionately, and he knew she would choose to save him, given the chance. Though she had been warming up to Mariah, they still weren't exactly friends.

"His shields are made of super dense Chaos energy." Mariah said with a condescending tone. "If you produced enough force to break one, it would destroy this entire volcano, maybe split the island in half."

He smiled. "That's doable."

She glanced at her tablet. "The drill controls are this way, but they're shielded too."

"How do we get in?" Rouge asked.

"You don't. Being inside the shield would make Shadow lose control of his power. Thankfully, there's a bathroom under the shielded area I can sneak into."

"Seriously?" Rouge crossed her arms. "That's disgusting."

Mariah smiled. "I can climb in through the garbage chute. It's just—"

The entire mountain trembled and the tasteful lights of the corridor died. Red auxiliary lights blinked on, and Shadow noticed Rouge and Mariah staring at him. He must have looked sinister. Mariah clicked her earpiece that Tails had given her before the group spilt up.

"Talk to me, Tails. . . . Okay. We're on our way." She sighed and looked at Shadow. "They need backup. Eggman cut off their escape. He's flooded their chamber with lava."

Shadow frowned. "If they have Silver, he can handle it."

"Well, he's not."

"Fine. Can you two make it on your own?"

Rouge gave him a wink. "I'll protect her, Shadow."

"You better." He tried to teleport, but his vision blurred as he gripped his head. "I guess I'll walk."

In a flash of yellow energy, he was gone in half a second. Rouge and Mariah looked at each other in shock.

"Think we can beat him to the controls?" Rouge asked, throwing a thumb over her shoulder.

Mariah smiled. "We can try."

They ran down the corridor and into a great hall chiseled out of granite. Rouge flew to the ceilings and admired the black columns.

"Very nice." she said. "It's so hard to find a good cave on our island. I wouldn't mind living here if we can keep it intact."

"No thanks." Mariah said, continuing through the hall.

"Oh?" Rouge flew next to her. "Don't tell me you've never wanted your own evil lair?"

"I had one." She stared at the floor. "It was dark and empty, just like this stupid place, and I used it to blow up a planet . . . and it was where my only friend died."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Rouge rubbed her ear and smiled. "But Shadow's here now, so cheer up. We can't have two brooders on Team Dark."

She paused and Rouge's sensitive ears could hear her grinding her teeth. "You think just because I'm here, Shadow's forgotten about Maria?"

"Good point." Rouge placed her hand on her shoulder. "But you've helped him a lot. Before you came, he hardly talked to anyone, and he drank all the time. Becoming his accountant was the only way I could get close to him. . . . He was pitiful, really."

They crossed under an arch and entered a smaller antechamber. Mariah leaned against a wall and sighed.

"I guess I wasn't so different." she said. "But he succeeded where I failed. . . . I killed a lot of people, Rouge."

Rouge rolled her eyes. "Don't make me mad, kid."

"Kid? I'm thirty!"

"Whatever. You were angry, confused, and most important, alone. Shadow would have done the same thing without us."

Mariah looked at her and smiled softly. "Thanks, Rouge. I'm glad Shadow has you—someone he can be honest with . . . someone he's comfortable around." She laughed. "He'll never be comfortable around me."

"Are you kidding?" Rouge smiled, raising her hand to her face. "I saw Shadow dancing with you last night. I'd never seen him like that. He looked like a little boy. Trust me, if he's uncomfortable it's because he thinks you're some kind of saint or an angel."

"An angel?" She laughed. "Now that's funny."

Rouge shrugged. "It's the truth."

She looked at the floor and smiled. "Rouge, if I don't make it back, will you take care of Shadow?"

She blinked and stared at her. "If Shadow's here, you're making it back, kid. We're all making it back, but sure."

She nodded shakily. "Thanks."

Mariah entered a maintenance room and found a chute for the lair's garbage network. She started to climb in when Eggman suddenly came around the corner with a bag of trash.

"Oh, Mariah!" he exclaimed. "Thanks for helping clean my lair. These battles can make such a mess." He tossed the bag down the chute. "Wait. Is that Rouge? You're the one who's been auditing me! Mariah, are you helping her ruin my tax scheme?"

She reached into her belt and pulled out an old pistol—a rusty P38.

"Oh, what a vintage gun!" Eggman said, clapping his hands. "Don't you think it would look magnificent in the rec room?"

"Yeah, it's over fifty years old." She said, the gun shaking in her hand. "I'm not joking, Robotnik. Whether you know it or not, you're destroying this planet, and I won't let you."

"I prefer the term 'geological modification', but if you think you can improve my heat extractor, have at it."

"Oh, I'll improve it."

The ground trembled violently as cracks snaked up the walls like greedy fingers.

"Wh-what's going on?" Eggman said, staring at his Egg Mobile's control panel. "The heat chambers are overloading!"

"Yeah, you should really shut down that drill now." Rouge said, crossing her arms.

"Are you kidding?" Eggman shouted. "This is my chance to finally get rid of that malignant muskrat and his friends, and the explosion will wipe the island clean, allowing me to swoop in and buy prime real estate for almost nothing. Well, I'm outta here, but look for my brochure in the mail if you survive."

Eggman floated up through a hatch in the ceiling and was gone. Mariah holstered her pistol and grabbed Rouge's hand.

"Find Shadow and the others. I'll go alone from here."

She climbed up into the garbage chute, grunting as the heat bombarded her face.

Rouge clenched her fists and shouted, "Shadow will blow up this whole island if you get hurt! Think about how you would feel is something happened to him!"

She waited for a response, but her sharp ears caught only the rustling of cloth against metal. She groaned and flew off down the crumbling corridor, wondering what she would tell Shadow when he saw her without his angel.