A/N: For Fuyuko_the_White_Fox, we have Asmodeus making his first appearance! Valentino thinks he's slick, but Charlie and her Uncle Ozzie ain't having that.
THE BIG LEAGUES
Charlie needed help.
She had tried to talk Valentino into giving Angel more free time, but that asshole had refused. And just to taunt her, he'd forced Angel to work extra hours. That night, Angel had returned more injured than ever before.
Now, Charlie knew that she was naïve, but she wasn't that naïve. Valentino was taking advantage of her kindness and Angel Dust's fear to keep the status quo.
Her power itched under her skin, just begging to be unleashed. Her nature meant that she'd be able to perma-kill Valentino, and there wasn't much he could do to stop her. If she actually cut loose, she'd destroy all three Vs in under a minute.
The problem was that by demon standards, her powers were still extremely immature and volatile. In the face of eternity, two hundred and thirty-something years was a blip in time. If she unshackled herself, her powers would be random and uncontrollable, and with Angel Dust on a leash, he could easily end up as collateral damage, and that she could not allow.
Now, if she had been an anime protagonist, she could have gone to the secret royalty room that was hidden where no one could find it and train for two thousand years over the weekend, but she wasn't. So, as Princess of Hell, she had to rely on one of the oldest weapons in history: Nepotism.
She was NOT going to call her dad, but that didn't mean that she was out of options. Hell, she could probably call up Sev, and together they'd be able to beat Valentino black and blue. Plus, he did know some of that eldritch magic, so he'd probably be able to help with breaking Angel's contract. But that would take time and would result in a fight.
Charlie did not want a fight.
She wanted an absolutely one-sided beatdown that would make the worst bully look like an angel. For daring to insult her, for daring to threaten her friend in front of her, and for daring to turn him against her.
She had inherited more from her father than just his good looks.
She scrolled through her contacts, reaching the bottom of the As, glancing at the fifth-last name.
Azathoth.
She pressed the call button, and she could hear it ring thrice before it was picked up.
"Thank you for calling the office of the Daemon Sultan Azathoth!" A cheery, yet eldritch voice said. It gave her a headache just to listen to it. "Unfortunately, the Lord of All Things is not scheduled to awaken for another i̸̢̧̡̳̜͍̠̗̪̱̻͇̜̮̲̩̘̬̍̾͌̊̀̒̈́̓̍͒͂̊͊͛̇̊̌̋̈́͐͑̕͘͘̕n̵̛̬̰͖͕͖͓̝̹̜̦̫̦̬͙̲͚͓̠̻̬̝̳̱̺̍̓̅̾́͌͒̿͑͆́̐͊̈̊̑̄̉͊̓̒̈́͐̾̈̃́͑̀̊̅̕̕͝͝͝͠ͅd̷̢̨̛̜͙͚̟̣̻͔̮̤͕̮͈̘̱̰̲͍̼̜̔͆̉̃̋̽̇͌̿͘͜͠ȩ̷̧̧̢̰̗̤͈̻̪̯̻̬̩̬̮̠͓̦̥͙̌̽̿̈́̇̂͒̈́͑̐͂̀͌̀͐̾̃͑̅̆͆͒̉͗͊̔̓̿́̋͆͆̔̾̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅf̴̡̡̢̛̛̛̝̣̦̘̤̝̼̹̪̞͙͈̙̭̰̺̯͈̰̺̦͙̰̬͇̖̼̜͉̖̞̜̬̤̳̹̺̘̻̣͔̗̗̣̻̊͌̈̐͆̽͋̋̌͌̽̊͋͊̀̀̾͐̽͛̆̽̍͘͠ͅi̴̧̢̡̢̧̡̛͎̟͔̩̤͈͙͙͖̟̪̱̦̙̣̟̘̹̦̝͍̝̳̱̥͚̞̘̯̟̻͉̮̲͊̍͆̋̎͜n̶̡̛̘̤̫͉̮͈̪̪̺͙̼̥̩͙͆̃̋̆̒́̕̕͜͝i̴̦̦̟̲͔͕̫͎͎͕͈͇̖̙̲͚̣̳̔͒̈̎̒͆͗́̌̍̅͛̅̈̄̿͒͗͂̈́̏͌͛͊̾͋̆̾̋͊͗̋͘̕͜͜͠͠͠ţ̵̛͓̬̿͛̍̊̀y̶̧̧̨̛͍͉͇̲̖̣͚̠̺̜̪̻̣͇̭͚͉̬̱̱̤̏́̂̓̌̒̂̌̿̏̈́̉̌́̔̑̏̄̂͗̿̈͂̈̐͌̽͘̕͝͠͠ͅǎ̸̛͉̯̫̤̹͇̥̣͕̯̪̙̰̩̩͙͕͎͎̻̠͗͂̈̐͒͊͆́͌̈́͒̽̒̈́̆͂͐͆̕͠͝ṉ̷̨̨̨̨̢̡̠̼͕̣͈̟̫̭̖̫̩̻͚̭̬͉͓̻͍̩͉̝̣̺̬̱̉͒̈́͌̓̽̄̏̊̾̍̅̏͗̈́̒̍̂̒͊̈̿̈́̐͋͆̎̎̍͊̄͆̌̐͌͒͛̍͗͜͝͝͝͝d̸̢̪̩͖̜͚̲̩͙̟̟̦̼̼̯͙͉̲͚̝͔̞̖̲̫̝̱͎͔̥͈͖̟̠̲̳̺̦͓͔̜̜͓́͂͆̒̀̿̿̉̒͆̉̑͘͠ͅb̶̨̢̨̡̭̜͓̥̟̰̥͎͇͉͉͉̬̘͉͈̦̮͖͔̜̪̥̻̣̻̻̦̬͐̿̂̈́̈́͌̆̍̄̎̏̾̂̿̔̇̃̓͜ͅē̴͔͙̦̳͇̉̉̍̾̎̾̈́̓̊̍̌̓̑̾̔̎̅͐̐͋͘͘̕͝͠y̷̛̤͖̰͒̋͂̋̍̾̒͌͂̊͐̊̔̄̃̅̎̕͝͝ơ̵̡͖͖̝̗̏͌́̾̈́̇́̓̀̄̌̍͋̈́̊͛̈̊̋̀̿͒̽̉̈́͗̂͒̆͗̃͋̍̿̾̓͂̾̇͂̀͋̔͘͘͝n̴̢̨̡̨̙̱͕͙̥̫̲͙͕͎̣̬̣͇͕̯̲̟̹̱̭̬̱̖͖̙̽̍̊͑̎͒͂͌̀̕͜ͅd̸̡̢̧̰͈̖̹̬͍͎̰͔̺̖̘̘̱͖͕̯̻̳͔͈̥̻̗͓͍̜͕͍̹̝̯̮̼̩͚͓̦̫͖̗̪͋̀̄̍͌͊ eternities! May I take your request?"
Charlie was bleeding from her eyes and ears. Damn, she should've known better than to listen to something on her grandfather's level talk.
"Is it too much to ask for a banishment to the outer beyond?"
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Yog-Sothoth and Nyarlathotep are currently arguing over pineapple on pizza. As such, all smitings and banishments have been put on hold. Is there anything else we can do for you?"
"No thanks," Charlie sighed. "It was a long shot anyway."
"If you have any requests, please mail us through the designated helpline. We hope you have a wonderful eternity, Miss Charlotte Morningstar!"
The call cut off. Charlie sighed again, extracting a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe away the blood.
Eh, calling her great-grandfather first was probably a mistake anyway. Risking all of existence in exchange for a simple banishment was a bit much.
Might as well call someone else, given that she didn't feel like leaving the hotel's roof anytime soon. Just a few names above Azathoth, another name caught her eye.
Asmodeus. The Sin of Lust.
And it would be appropriate, given the nature of Valentino's activities.
Sure, her uncle Oz was technically the weakest of the Big Seven, but he was still so astronomically stronger than an overlord that it wasn't even funny. And he would most certainly beat Valentino into a pulp in the most painful way possible.
With only a moment of debilitation, she pressed the call button.
Four and a half rings later, he picked it up.
"Well, hellooo~ Charlie!" He said enthusiastically. "So great to hear from my favorite niece again! How are you, girl?"
"I'm-" Charlie was about to say fine, but she really wasn't. And she didn't have the enthusiasm needed to fake it. Besides, she was calling to ask for help. "I need help up here."
"Say no more! I'll be there in a jiffy! I'll even bring the newest model of the Impaler!"
"Wait! It's not like-"
Asmodeus hung up before she could clarify that this was not a bedroom issue. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
But honestly, what else was she expecting from the literal Sin of Lust? Yeah, this one was on her.
With a groan, she left the roof and made her way downstairs. She was going to be embarrassed in front of her friends one way or another, so might as well bite the bullet.
Five minutes later, Charlie was sitting on the couch in the foyer, with Agel Dust lying horizontally, with his head in her lap. With no warning at all, the wall exploded.
"Seriously," Angel complained, getting to his feet. "What is up with that wall specifically? It's like, thrice a day, now."
"I'm starting to think that someone seriously cursed that wall," Charlie said, squinting through the dust. She saw a blob of blue, and two smaller blobs of red. "Damn it, Uncle Oz."
"Charlie!" Asmodeus announced himself, swinging a massive sword to blow away the dust. "I'm here to solve all your troubles!"
Alastor teleported in and Vaggie ran down the stairs, spear at the ready.
"Here you go, Charlie!" Asmodeus said, handing her the sword. "This baby will deal with anything, trust me."
Huh, maybe he had read the situation right after all.
"Thank you for the gift, uncle, but a sword won't help me out in this situation."
"Oh, that ain't no sword, sunshine."
Only then did she look at exactly what she was holding, her eyes widening in horror with every passing second. Its rounded shape made more sense now. Her grip changed, and suddenly, four giant tentacles exploded from the hilt with the sound of a supercar roaring to life.
"Oh fuck." Charlie gasped.
"Holy shit." Angel Dust gasped.
"Oh my!" Niffty exclaimed, fanning herself with her feather duster.
Husk reached under his table and pulled out an extra-large bottle of rum and gulped it down in five seconds flat.
"Good Lord!" Sir Pentious exclaimed, before falling into a dead faint.
Alastor's eyes were gone, and he was making a sine-wave sound.
And Vaggie was biting her lip and rubbing her thighs together.
Wait, what?
"Charlie!" Angel Dust exclaimed, grabbing her by the shoulders and derailing her train of thought. "I will go cold turkey on everything if you give me five minutes with that!"
"As interesting as this is," Charlie said, fighting (and failing) to control her blush. She twisted her grip, and the tentacles retracted and it went silent. "We have other things to discuss."
"Oh, I see!" Asmodeus said, clearly not seeing. "You need some of that spice, don't you? Well, I've already come up with some patch notes for the Kama Sutra."
"Nononono!" Charlie yelled, waving her hands (and the massive…. thing she was holding). "I need you to beat someone up!"
"Oh," He said, looking rather puzzled. "Not that I'm not glad to see you again, but then why did you call me?"
"This guy is too strong for me to fight without losing control, and he's got my friend on a contract. I'm not calling my dad, and Alastor won't fight him head on."
At the mention of his name, Alastor snapped back to reality.
"What just happened?" He asked, rubbing his head. "I seem to be missing about five minutes of my memory."
"Nothing happened, Al," Charlie said, hiding the… she was going to call it a sword for her own peace of mind, behind her back. "I just called my uncle to beat someone up for me."
"Uncle, hmmm?" Alastor said, walking forward. "Well, my name is Alastor. And you are?"
He stuck out his hand. Just the action was enough to put every sinner in the room on edge, plus Vaggie. Everyone knew better than to shake hands with an overlord.
But Asmodeus was no sinner.
"I am Asmodeus. King of the Lust Ring," He took Alastor's hand in a firm shake. "And you're some mid-tier serial killer with mommy issues who thinks he's hot shit."
"What did you just say?!" Alastor growled, growing in size a little as he tried to crush Asmodeus' hand. "I don't think I heard you right."
"Oh please," Asmodeus said, all three of his heads rolling their eyes. "Save the horror show for someone who gives a shit. Lucifer really went soft on you sinners, didn't he? I remember, back in the day, when sinners used his footprints as dinner plates.
"Know your place, sinner."
The last statement forced Alastor to his knees, completely devoid of any power he had been displaying earlier. Asmodeus glared at him for a bit, before turning around and facing Charlie.
"Kid, is this the guy you want me to beat up? I might do it anyway, because I looked through his thoughts and the only thing he sees you as is his next contract."
"He's been helping me out, Uncle Oz," Charlie said, trying to calm him down. "No, the one I need you to beat up is another overlord; Goes by the name Valentino."
At this, Angel's pupils shrunk in fear.
"Charlie, no! You can't!" He yelled in panic, grabbing her by the shoulders. "You promised you'd stay out of my business!"
"I am staying out of your business. By exploiting the technicality that I can't meddle with your job if you don't have one. No more Valentino; No more problem!"
"Ya don't know Valentino!"
"Kid, cool it," Asmodeus said, casually lifting Angel Dust off the ground. "Okay, wow, you're fucked up. Not the worst I've seen, but definitely Top 1,000."
"I'm not a kid!" Angel yelled. "And you don't know Valentino like I do!"
"Angel, you're all kids to me," Asmodeus said, firmly planting him down on a couch. "You could multiply the age of every sinner ever, and it would still be a drop in the bucket compared to me.
"Also, I used to be an angel. I get that you're afraid for your friends, but I'm built different. No sinner could ever harm a Deadly Sin, and from what I've seen in your memories, your boss has this coming. Charlie, lead the way, will you?"
"This way. Angel, you come too; This should give you some catharsis."
Ten minutes later, Charlie's limo skidded to a stop, perfectly drifting into a parking spot. A spot that had been occupied, but a perfect parking nevertheless, pushing the other car onto the sidewalk.
Charlie made a mental note to scold Razzle and Dazzle for that later. Parking like that was just rude.
Asmodeus was more concerned about how two 2-foot demons were driving the car. Then he remembered that even for an ancient being such as himself, some things were best left unknown.
"So, this is Valentino's porn studio, is it?" He asked, gazing upon the structure. "Not impressed."
They walked to the doors, and while the sinners mostly ignored them or leered at Charlie and Angel, the hellborn were tripping over themselves and either running away as fast as possible or prostrating themselves in front of Asmodeus.
Sinners were restricted to the Ring of Pride; Hellborn were not. They knew who he was, and they knew what he was. Weakest sin he may be, but no one was suicidal enough to even dream of disrespecting a Deadly Sin.
Charlie was glad that she had called her Uncle Oz. He knew how to appear threatening, and how to make an entrance.
Growing to twenty-five feet in height, he kicked the doors to the studio open and barged in with all the magnificence of a raging inferno.
"All right," He roared. "Where's this Valentino bitch I've been hearing about?!"
Every single hellborn immediately fell to their knees and pointed him out. He was sitting on an expensive loveseat, using four arms to liberally grope two uncomfortable, naked women.
"And, uh, who are you?" Valentino asked, unfazed. Size meant little; Any demon could do it if they put some thought into it. The Princess and his star, Angel Dust were accompanying him, and judging by how scared Angel Dust looked, this was another bluff the Princess was trying to pull. The big blue and red one was just a farce.
"I am the guy who's going to give you the pounding of your afterlife."
"Hmm. I'm almost tempted, but no."
In a flash, he drew his guns, firing all four of them at the intruder's head. The holy bullets would kill this guy permanently, while simultaneously teaching the Princess and Angel a lesson. And then he'd force Angel to hold the Princess down and rape her. Yeah, that would make a fantastic movie.
He was so lost in his delusions that he almost missed the fact that the bullets hit big blue with all the effectiveness of a falling feather.
"I's been a while since anyone was stupid enough to try and fight a Deadly Sin," Asmodeus said, rolling his shoulders. "But hey, humans weren't designed to be logical or smart. Anyone who doesn't want to die: Get out."
The hellborn were out of the building faster than an Asian mom reaching for her slipper after her kids received an A-. Some of the sinners stepped back warily, realizing that they did not want to mess with something that was immune to holy bullets. A handful realized exactly who he was, and jumped out the windows.
Valentino was frozen to the spot. His bullets had been ineffective, and this guy was implying that he was a Deadly Sin. Few sinners could claim to have seen a Deadly Sin outside of Lucifer, but it was well known that they were the top dogs in Hell.
Faster than he could react, he found himself in the inescapable grip of the giant flaming demon, sweating under the intense glare of three heads.
"You've been allowed to drown in lust for quite a while now, and I find your methods…. Distasteful," Asmodeus growled. "You defile the name of lust. You bring disgrace to me. So now, I, Asmodeus, the King of Lust, will put you in your place."
Valentino barely had the time to register the name before he felt his back slam into a wall, and he barely had time to register that before a fist larger than his entire body slammed into him, blowing him out of the building and into the sky. He barely had the time to even think of unfurling his wings before he was hit with an overhead hammer hit, and was sent crashing into another building. The moment he came to a halt, he felt his wings get ripped out.
Asmodeus was just too fast. He wasn't giving Valentino any time to process what was happening, let alone react to it. This wasn't a fight; This was him demonstrating ragdoll physics in real afterlife.
A giant flaming fist set his nerves alight, forcing a scream of pain. This was followed up by a thousand more, nearly driving him insane. And on each hit, he held back so as to not splatter the moth. That would be too easy.
He threw Valentino down the road at hypersonic speeds, teleported into his flight path, and clotheslined him, crushing his throat.
His body was smoking; Barely twitching. He was a sinner and nothing short of holy power would kill him, sure, but Asmodeus needed him to have his wits around him for the next part.
Physical punishments were Satan's thing. As the Sin of Lust, he had his own special magics.
He stomped on Valentino's chest, teleporting them both back to the porn studio, where Charlie was waiting.
"Ten seconds," Charlie said, checking her watch. "That was quick."
"Oh, Charlie, my dear, that was just the warm-up. Like skinning a potato before you actually do anything with it."
He dropped Valentino's smoking hot body (literally) in the middle of the room, and at this point, all the other sinners realized that their boss was out of his depth, and ran.
He moved his hands through the air, drawing three-dimensional sigils in the air over Valentino's unmoving body. His fingers traced out lines of light in the air that glowed a brilliant purple.
"Valentino!" He declared, finishing up the last of the runes. "For indulging in the sin of lust, I curse you to experience the pain and suffering of all the victims of your lust, every day, for as long as you remain in this plane. You will not be able to escape by your own hand, nor will you be able to ask another to do it. So it shall be, on my authority as Asmodeus!"
The sigils slammed down into his body, and within seconds, he was screaming his lungs out.
"It hurts!" He screamed. "It hurts so much! Please! STOP IT! PLEASE! SOMEONE, ANYONE! HELP ME!"
Angel Dust watched on as his boss was reduced to the same state as his victims in a matter of seconds. Valentino was crying and screaming, experiencing everything he had ever done to who knew how many others; Both in life and after.
It had taken less than a minute, if the clock on the wall was to be believed. It had been less than two minutes since they had entered the room, and Valentino was already an incoherent and traumatized mess.
Charlie was right. This was the catharsis he had been seeking for decades.
"One last thing," Asmodeus said, reaching down to Valentino's chest, grabbing something metaphysical, and pulling it out. "Can't have you keeping these."
He pulled his hand back, and what followed it looked like a solid column of red smoke.
"Charlie, care to do the honors? Don't worry, I'll make sure that nothing happens to your friend."
"You know," Charlie said, walking up to him. "I was feeling sorry for Valentino. But if he's suffering this much after five seconds of getting a taste of his own medicine…. I wish I'd beaten the crap out of him sooner. I'll be glad to."
Her horns burst from her forehead, her hair caught fire, and she grew a tail. Her fingers sharpened into claws, and her teeth became spikier than a bear trap.
And then she grew a pair of black wings. The fire left her hair, forming a flaming halo over her head. Asmodeus snapped his fingers, forming a barrier around them; Containing Charlie's wild energy.
"On my authority as Princess of Hell," Charlie said, her eyes glowing gold. "Valentino, I declare your contracts nullified!"
She grabbed onto the column of red smoke, and under her touch, it began to grow gold. Angel felt a sharp tug in his chest along with a burning sensation, but then the column shattered into golden dust, and the sensation vanished.
He subconsciously raised his hands to his chest and neck, not daring to hope.
"Congratulations, Anthony," Charlie said, returning to her normal form. The barrier around them dissipated. "You're free."
He couldn't hold back the choked sobs. For decades, he had suffered, and had every ounce of hoped stamped out of him. But here he was, freed from eternal servitude by a woman that had picked him up by complete accident. The next think he knew, her arms were wrapped around him, radiating a comforting warmth.
He had never felt safer.
A week later, Charlie knocked on his door.
"Angel!" She called out. "I've got a present for you!"
"A present?" He questioned. "What is it?"
"Here!" She said giddily, handing over what looked like a sword and sheath, wrapped in colored paper, with the handle left outside. "Grab the handle and twist it!"
He did so, not knowing what to expect.
It was glorious.
With the roar of a titanic beast, it came to life, four writhing tentacles bursting forth from the hilt and tearing the wrapping paper to shreds.
"Holy shit," Angel gasped, the memory from last week returning, having forgotten it in the events that followed. "Now that's a katana."
"That's what Vaggie said."
"Gotta admit, she has good taste. Thank your uncle for me, will you?"
"Thank him yourself. He's been catching up on your productions, and he likes you. Expect him back within a week, asking for your autograph and a one-night-stand."
A/N: Next chapter: Deadly to Touch.
Do give us ideas. 101 is a long, long way to go.