Chapter Twenty Eight: Dragon Sickness

The first sign of something being wrong was when I woke up the morning after Smaug was killed. I had expected to wake up in bliss next to Thorin, but I woke up completely alone in his room. After how intense the day before was, I wasn't particularly pleased with being alone in a place I didn't know how to get around.

I got up and was barely able to get dressed on my own before making my way out into the eerie, cold halls of Erebor.

I went searching for the others and eventually I made it down to the treasury where everyone was sorting through in an attempt to find the Arkenstone. My stomach sank down to my heels and when I asked if anyone wanted to join me to make food, Thorin said that I had to join them in searching and we would all eat later.

We searched all day and when we were all starving and needed to take a break to eat, Thorin said he would join us eventually. But he never did, he stayed down in the treasury searching restlessly. He had that look on his face again that I saw before that made me nervous. I didn't recognize the person he was being, it wasn't Thorin.

I went down the stairs back down to the treasury, wrapped up in my coat. I spotted Thorin sifting through a chest not too far from the stairs.

"Thorin!" He didn't stir as my voice echoed through the chamber. "Thorin Oakenshield! You've missed dinner, Love!"

He leaned up and looked back at me. Dark circles sunk his eyes. "It's about time you're back, where is everyone else? We need to keep looking."

"Everyone has gone to bed, you need to eat something and go to bed too. We can do more searching tomorrow."

He shook his head and moved further away from me, continuing to search the ground for his precious gem. My jaw tightened in fear then I jumped into the gold and ran after him. I nearly slipped and fell quite a few times but I kept plowing forward. It wasn't long before I had caught up to him, so I leapt up onto his back and grabbed on. I did have to be a little careful with my injured shoulder but I was able to grab onto his with my other arm.

He stumbled and fell onto his knees. "Lydia?! What are you doing?!"

"Getting your attention!" I climbed off his back and grabbed his legs so he fell the rest of the way onto his stomach. He kicked his legs at me trying to make me let go but I got a good grip on the bottom of his pants so I could start dragging him towards the exit. It was not very quick since I did have one arm doing all the work. "You're going to wither away if you don't get something to eat so you're coming with me as my hostage."

"Come on Lydia, let me go! We need to find the Arkenstone!" he ordered.

"We need to keep you alive, your highness, more than we need the stone." I grunted, yanking him through the gold. "Now you will go eat a damn apple or something right now, so help me! You'll need a nap too!"

To my surprise he burst out laughing and yanked his legs out of my hands. He used his legs then to knock me off my feet, sending me falling into a pile of gold. I squealed and rolled onto the ground, getting gold coins up my sleeves and in my pants.

He leaned over me as I laid on my back. His eyes were clear as he grinned down at me. "Is that all I need? An apple and a nap?" he asked.

"Of course not, but it's a strong start." I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down so I could lay a kiss on his lips. He chuckled and held the back of my head, supporting me as I felt tingles start at my mouth and then spread all over my body. I reluctantly leaned back and stared up at him, relieved he was acting more like himself. "Come on, let's go get you some food and then we can go to bed together. Okay?"

"But you looked so beautiful right here, with gold and gems in your hair." He picked up a ruby from my curls and laid it in the middle of my forehead.

I shook my head, shaking the treasure off of me. "Nope, not an option Sir. You have so much time to enjoy your treasure, taking care of yourself comes first."

He sighed deeply and leaned off me. "I concede for now. But you know how important it is for me to find the Arkenstone, don't you Lydia?"

"Of course I do. I also know it's not worth starving and losing sleep over." I stood up and offered my hand to him.

He accepted it and brought him up onto his feet. "Alright, alright. I'll go have dinner and then we can head to bed."

Everyday we spent in Erebor from then on, Thorin continued to only get worse and worse. He ate less, he slept less, and it became more and more difficult to snap him out of the strange spell the gold seemed to have on him. There even came an evening he refused to leave, no matter how much I pestered him and tried to drag him out of there. It was like I wasn't even there. It was the same if any of the others tried to convince him to leave the treasury.

My worry only increased and increased, and I considered just giving him the Arkenstone so he could stop searching for it. I stopped myself though, knowing that he would never surface if he got his hands on it. I didn't know what else we could do though.

After several days and nights in Erebor came the day I was heading back down to the treasury to check on Thorin, and I heard the sound of footsteps and voices. I was among all the stairs and peered around, trying to locate where the noises were coming from in such a huge and cavernous room. I knew the rest of the dwarves were in the treasury, so there shouldn't have been anyone else in Erebor except for ghosts.

"Hello?" I shouted out.

There was a long silence before there was a response. "...Lydia? Is that you?"

I recognized the voice right away and I gasped. "Fili?! Do you have Bofur, Kili, and Oin with you?"

"Yes! We're all here Lydia!" Kili responded back. I was most relieved to hear his voice, considering the state we left him in Laketown.

It sounded like they were higher than I was, so I instructed them. "Come down the stairs and I'll meet you!"

It took a few minutes since I still didn't know my way around Erebor very well, but it didn't take long before we ran into each other in one of the halls and I threw myself at them, hugging them all at once in relief.

"Oh thank the stars, I am so happy to see all of you safe and well!"

Bofur responded saying, "Same to you! Is everyone else alright as well?"

"Yes, yes! Well…sort of…I think we need to leave."

"What? We just got here," Kili laughed.

I looked at each of them, completely defeated. "I've tried talking to him but he keeps getting worse and worse every day that we're here. We need to leave!"

"What are you talking about, Lass?" Oin asked.

"Thorin. He's been out there for days. He doesn't sleep. He barely eats. He's not been himself ever since we've gotten here. Not at all. I think it's this place, it's having a horrible effect on him. It's like…it's like there's a sickness lying here."

Kili's face turned serious. "Sickness? What kind of sickness?"

Fili started down the stairs and the others followed. I tried to get them to stop and listen to me, let me explain things before they went down to the treasury but there was no stopping them. I wanted more time to know what was happening, but from the look on Fili's face I had to wonder if he had an idea of what I was talking about already.

We arrived at the bottom of the stairs and the four of them stared out on the sea of gold that laid out before them. Fili and Kili were probably too young to have remembered Erebor and its riches, so I'm sure the looks on their faces weren't too far off from when I saw it for the first time as well. Though, probably less fear since there wasn't a dragon hiding in the hoard.

Below, Thorin slowly walked amongst his treasure like we weren't even there. He looked disheveled and tired from living down there the last few days. Still, he wore a fur cape and more golden rings, but it didn't match with his sleep deprived eyes and slumped stature. He looked almost undead, more a creature than a dwarf.

He looked up to us with no expression on his face. "Gold, Gold beyond measure. Beyond sorrow and grief. Behold! The great treasure hoard of Thror." He threw something up to us and Fili caught it, revealing it was a huge, red jewel that was the size of my fist. "Welcome, my sister's sons, to the Kingdom of Erebor."

The celebration of all the dwarves being together again was short. Thorin was quick to put them all to work down in the treasury, of course searching for the Arkenstone all day and all night. I was hoping that Fili and Kili were going to help me get Thorin out of Erebor, at least for a day or two after they saw what kind of condition he was in, but they reluctantly joined in the search. No one was listening to me.

I stopped helping to search for the stone. I couldn't stand the thought of knowing that it and the gold was turning Thorin into a greedy monster. The others warned me about the anger I would certainly receive from Thorin once he noticed I was missing, but I told them that he would have to notice I was missing first.

He was entirely missing meals and no longer slept in his room with me and I only grew more and more frustrated that no one seemed to acknowledge that something was wrong. I felt like all I could do was leave food down on the edge of the treasury and hope that he ate enough not to starve to death. I physically never could have gotten Thorin out of Erebor, so if the others refused to help me then that truly was all I could do. I kept the Arkentstone hidden in the room since he never went up there anyway. Seemed like the best hiding place.

One of the days Dwalin and Balin asked that I go with them to the throne room so I could attend while they reported to Thorin their lack of findings. I wasn't sure what they thought my presence was going to do, but since I had nothing better to do, I went. If they thought I could help, then sure. Why not keep indulging myself in Sick Thorin.

"It is here in these halls, I know it," Thorin responded sharply, sitting on his throne. "I can feel that it's here.'

Dwalin sighed, "We have searched and searched…"

"Not well enough!"

"Thorin, we all would see the stone returned," Dwalin responded.

"And yet, it is still not found!" The circles under his eyes made his dark blue eyes look almost sunken

Balin looked at Thorin in disbelief, clearly shaken by how he was behaving. "Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?" Thorin's lack of response gave him his answer. "The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people."

"It is the King's Jewel, and am I not the king?!" he shouted. We were all silent while he simmered. "Hear me and know this, if anyone should find it and withhold it from me, they will know true vengeance from me."

Thorin turned away from us and stomped off. Dwalin turned away from us as well, with nothing to say to either of us, then went to join the others in the continued search down in the treasury. Balin and I stood there in silence for a long moment.

Balin suddenly gasped and struggled to take a steady breath, clearly holding back tears. He said, "Lydia…I hope you don't feel too unheard in your concerns of Thorin."

I went in front of him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Do you know what's happening to him?" I whispered, desperate to understand what was happening.

"Dragon Sickness." Those two words made a shiver run up my spine. "I've seen it before. That look. That terrible need. It is a fierce and jealous love, Lydia. It sent his grandfather and father mad, it was always my fear that it would touch Thorin as well."

My shoulders slumped, though there was a slight relief that I wasn't the only one seeing what I was seeing in Thorin. "Balin…I need to ask you something very serious about Thorin and I need you to be entirely honest with me."

He faced me directly. "What is it?"

My heart thumped heavily in my chest and I lowered my voice further. "If…If Thorin were to get the Arkenstone, if it were to suddenly be found…would it help him? Or would it make the situation worse beyond repair?"

He looked at me surprised for a moment before pressing his lips together and responding. "The Arkenstone crowns all. It is the summit of this great wealth, bestowing power upon he who bears it. But would it stay his madness? No, Lass. I fear it would make it worse. Perhaps it is best that it remains lost for the rest of time."

I released a concealed breath but nodded to his words so he knew I understood. "Perhaps it is best, indeed. Once he knows that it's gone, do you think he will have parts of him return to himself again?"

"It's hard to say…but since you are looking for honesty I think that now that the Dragon Sickness has his claws in him I'm not sure what it would take for him to shake it. Now that he's gotten a taste of the treasure, even if we were to take him out of Erebor he would do anything to return back. I think Thorin won't be the same again…"

My heart shattered in my chest and I stifled back tears. "I…I can't accept that. I just can't Balin, I'm sorry. Let's just think things over and try and come up with some things to try. Sooner rather than later since we know he's not better the longer he's here."

"I appreciate the optimism, Lydia. I know you care very much about Thorin and I know he cares for you deeply as well. I hope your efforts are not in vain…"

Balin nodded and didn't have any additional words, he left me there by the throne by myself to go back down to the treasury to continue the fruitless search even though he knew more than ever that it wasn't down there.

I stood in the silence, giving myself a moment to release my emotions. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I stared at the broken throne. The stone above the seat was broken, where the Arkenstone used to be on display to whoever came to speak with the king.

I wanted to go up to the room and toss that damn stone away into the deepest and darkest abandoned mines in Erebor, hoping it would just faze out of existence. It wasn't only the stone I could blame though. It was the gold as well that brought out that sickness in him, and it was a sickness that was passed down to him by blood. What can any of us do to change our blood?

I've been running away from what my parents had passed down to me my entire adult life, but it's not like a sickness. Thorin can't run away from this…

I placed my hand on the arm rest of the throne, knowing that even if he wasn't afflicted by the sickness it would take nothing less than death to keep him from being King Under the Mountain. He wants the title, the kingdom, the subjects, and the gold more than anything in the entire world. He might have said that he loved me, but I do not compare to what Erebor can offer. She will always be his first love.

What could a little hobbit do to save a king from himself?