Thalia Takes To the Skies and The Hogwarts Students Begin Planning For Halloween
Thalia had never had dreams before, not until she met Tom, Nagini and the others. She now had fun dreams: ones about the Death Munchers being turned into bunnies and Nagini and Thalia being the only ones to turn them back; dreams about being on stage and performing for an audience. Thalia loved that dream the most, along with the dream about flying in her own plane again. Ever since the banana ball python had tasted flight, all she really wanted to do was get back up into the sky again, especially if it meant making Tom's men lose their minds again!
But every time she dreams that she flies, Thalia finds herself almost disappointed when she wakes up and finds herself back to the land of the living, slithering on the ground. Usually Nagini or even the prospect of teasing Tom and his men would cheer her up easily, but this morning was different. Today, Thalia could not muster up the strength to smile, even when Nagini told her about Tom's latest Lord Ponymort nightmare, or when Ralston, Lysander, Corban and Fenrir forgot about the kids' smoke machines and theme tune players and set off the damn things at breakfast, one after the other, causing everyone to jump five feet into the air each time. Even seeing the lower guards still enjoying the bouncy castles didn't make Thalia cheer up. Not even Antonin getting whacked over the head by Alecto made her giggle; apparently, Tsar had used one of Alecto's favourite dresses as a scratching outlet, and well it had not ended well for the dress.
Not even the teasing and taunting that Corban was forced to endure made her feel a modicum of interest in cracking one singular pun. No matter how much everyone tried to coax a reaction from her.
"I think Tonks will regret her decision for dating such an old man, right, Thalia?"
"Corban will fit in with the dinosaurs, won't he, Thalia?"
"Dippy makes for better company, don't you think so, Thalia?"
Nope, nothing worked.
I am so grounded, I am so lowly, Thalia sang internally in a rather unusually depressive tone. Thalia is a sad snake…
The issue was, Thalia's unusual silence was noticed – by everyone. Nagini noticed immediately; her friend wasn't cracking puns and eating her breakfast demurely. Voldemort noticed because Thalia wasn't helping Nagini tease him and badger him about finding a damn mate. Everyone else noticed because Thalia had not started cracking a single joke at any of their expenses, despite the fact Walden, Antonin and the werewolves were trying to coax her into doing so – mainly by picking on Amycus and his many shortcomings.
The banana ball python didn't bite, not even once.
"Yes, Mr. Mupples, Thalia might be unwell," Bellatrix mused out loud.
"I thought I would be relieved when that snake would stop making her inane jokes. Now, I would do a ridiculous dance just for her to make fun of me," Thorfinn added in a huff.
"Do you think she is depressed?" Rabastan suggested. "I read in one of my books that-"
"Basti, snakes can't get depressed!" Rodolphus pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Yeah, well, they supposedly can't tell jokes either, but this one can," Rabastan pointed out easily. "We can't rule it out!"
"Maybe she is just unwell?" Alecto suggested, stabbing at her fruit salad with her fork, trying not to look and sound worried.
Voldemort frowned at this. "I do not think ssshe isss."
"We could call a vet?" Reed suggested.
*Nagini knows Thalia isn't unwell! Nagini checked, so no vet!* Nagini stated in a huff.
Thalia was getting ever so slightly annoyed at being talked about when she was in the room with everyone, but didn't make an effort to answer any of them. It seemed that Teddy Ruxpin, who had once again managed to escape the box he had been sealed in that had been buried in the garden, thought it gave him an excuse to try and tease her this time, because that accursed bear had appeared right in front of her with that creepy grin and that eerie laugh that sent shivers up everyone's spines.
"Do you have any secrets to share?" the creepy bear asked in that faux sweet tone that made Thalia want to dump him in the Malfoy oven.
Thalia glared at him before taking a drink from her drinking bowl. Unfortunately, Teddy Ruxpin did not take the hint. The bear started poking Thalia in an attempt to try and tickle her; as if that could cheer her up or give her incentive to start making jokes or puns. All Teddy Ruxpin was accomplishing, was one very vexed ball python.
*Stupid, teddy! Stop that!* Nagini huffed, seeing her friend twitch in annoyance.
Teddy Ruxpin, of course, didn't listen. He continued poking, and soon Thalia had had enough. The ball python hissed at the suicidal bear and whacked him with her tail up into the air, sending Teddy Ruxpin flying in an arch into the air; the bear almost landed in Walden's breakfast but fortunately the Executioner managed to save his food.
"What an idiot," Antonin grumbled.
"Yeah, he was asking for that," Augustus agreed.
"You'd think he'd learn by now," Hannah huffed.
"Nah, his brain is too stuffed for that," Mikah snorted.
"I guess we know one thing that Amy is smarter than," Walden chuckled.
Amycus growled. "Shut up, Antonin."
"Should have seen that one coming," Beynon could not help but point out.
"And that goes for you too, wolf," Amycus snarled.
"Watch your tongue, Carrow," Reed answered just as snappily.
Thalia huffed to herself. *One of these days they will all not shout at each other, and then Thalia will now someone has sold everyone to the fairies,* she hissed to herself.
Unfortunately, both Nagini and Tom had very sharp hearing, and both of them were concerned about her.
*Thalia, would you please just tell us what the matter is?* Tom asked in a tone that Thalia had never heard before.
*You're never this quiet,* Nagini added. *Are you bored? We could go hunting today if you want? Or scare the peacocks again?*
Lucius blanched at this point. "You will not!"
"Luciussss, hold your tongue!" Tom snapped easily, causing Lucius to sink back into his seat, making some very concerning noises. "Or there issss a Boglin with your name on it!"
Lucius shivered in fear.
Thalia almost wanted to crack a smile but melancholy still gripped her serpentine body. *Thalia wants to fly; Thalia wants to be up in the sky – Thalia is fed up of having to crawl everywhere! Thalia wants the Potter hatchling to hurry up and buy a plane!*
This answer made more than half of the room pale considerably, especially those who had to deal with a flying Thalia in the first place.
"We're doomed," Rabastan stated.
"We're going to get bombed," Balthazar agreed readily.
"She'll knock our crystal chandeliers down!" Lucius wailed.
"Or we could just teach her to fly properly," Reed sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"And not to fly out of the window," Walden snorted.
"Nah, that's going to happen anyway," Antonin smirked.
Voldemort was just as unhappy with this news. *Harry is buying you a plane? How does he even know you want one?!*
*Nagini told him!* both snakes chorused, looking extremely happy with themselves for some very odd reason, and Voldemort frankly did not like the looks in their eyes.
*And how, pray, did you tell him that Thalia wants a plane, Nagini?* Something already told the Dark Lord that he was most certainly not going to like the answer.
When Nagini lit up further, it only confirmed his suspicion. *Nagini asked the Potter hatchling, of course! You're not the only one who can talk to him, you know, Tom. Nagini spoke to him via the Link thing too!*
Somehow, Tom looked ashen; Thalia couldn't help but giggle a little at this. *Yes, so don't go turning into Lord Jelly-mort just because Nagini can now talk to the Potter hatchling as well.*
No one in the room knew quite what to do at hearing Thalia call their Lord 'Lord Jelly-mort'. Izzy, Sebastian, Phoebe and Sophie were at risk of laughing but Augustus, Mikah, Hannah, Fenrir and Reed quickly clamped their hands over their mouths.
*I do not turn into Lord Jelly-mort! And I will not!* Tom huffed, not convincing Nagini and Thalia in the slightest. Tom frowned. *You have a Link with Harry, Nagini, you say?*
*Yes, and he feels the same like that funny locket thing that you have,* Nagini added. *He feels like kin. Like a brother. Nagini likes that feeling… kin …*
*But you have Thalia and Tom too!* Thalia pouted.
*Nagini knows, but this is different – Nagini has no idea how to explain it…*
"What is it, Mr. Mupples? Open the window? … Strange owl coming?"
Voldemort had wandlessly opened a window the moment 'strange owl' had left Bella's mouth. Indeed, no sooner was that window open, a beautiful owl with white, brown and black feathers flew into the room. It carried a good size package in its talons and headed straight for Voldemort, landing elegantly and an ethereal screech.
"Damn. Now that is one pretty familiar. Whose owl is that?" Lysander asked quietly.
"No idea," Ralston replied just as quietly.
"Mr. Mupples says her name is Ahmya. She is the owl of someone called Tulip. What's that, Mr. Mupples? She works for the Weasley menaces, apparently," Bellatrix informed after Mr. Mupples stopped shaking.
Thalia and Nagini slithered up the table eagerly as Voldemort untied the package and the note from Ahmya's leg. The owl gracefully hopped off the package, watching with interest. Apparently, Ahmya had been given extra instructions; what it was, was anyone's guess. Voldemort elegantly cracked the seal on the back and unfolded the letter.
To the One Who Still Needs To Pay For Using His Snake To Attack Our Dad,
We send you greetings – civil ones at least – and a warning. What is inside this box will ensure that you get the most migraine inducing headache you have ever experienced, and Mr. Gred and I are very disappointed we won't be able to witness it for ourselves. We have been commissioned by Lord Black himself to bequeath one of our planes unto one of your familiars and we sincerely hope that this familiar will love it. No doubt she will put it to very good use indeed!
We should also like to inform Your Grand Snakiness that we are also making familiar tanks and one has been pre-ordered for both of your familiars. And yes, they will be curse, hex and jinx proof – as well as fire proof, Quintessence proof, water proof and banish proof. We are not complete imbeciles.
Yours faithfully,
Your favourite blood traitors,
Gred and Forge, also known as Fred and George
P.S. If you do not allow Thalia and Nagini to have fun with these precious gifts, we will start a comedy radio show that will do its level best to take the piss out of you and all of your followers. You have been warned.
Voldemort took a moment to just gape in silence at the letter. The raw nerve of those two! In a huff, the Dark Lord handed the letter to Avior, who had been positively jumping in his seat with impatience to know what the letter said. Immediately, the rest of the room crowded around Avery Senior's chair to read it.
"Those little – you are already taking the piss out of us!" Derrick wailed. "They humiliate us with every single fucking prank, the cheeky fucks!"
"I think I need to chew a few more shoes," Fenrir added in a growl.
"Ewww blood traitor shoes," Alecto pulled a face, as did Bella and Narcissa.
"Yes, Mr. Mupples, Fenrir has no taste in shoes!" Bellatrix agreed, shaking her head at the Alpha.
"Does this mean there is going to be another edition of Lord Ponymort?" Sebastian asked excitedly.
Voldemort scowled at the young wolf for his enthusiasm.
"I think there is a very good chance of that, yes," Augustus confirmed, shielding the young wolf a little from his Lord.
Thalia and Nagini, though, were getting impatient, as one can imagine. *TOOOOOM! Open the preeeeesseeeeeent! Stop mooooooping!*
*I am not moping!* Voldemort automatically retorted.
*Open my plaaaaane!* Thalia begged, already trying to get the packaging off with her own fangs.
Voldemort, grumbling internally, did as he was told. He was not going to risk getting bit out of irritation by Thalia. Said snake watched him, slithering around in anticipation. The Dark Lord braced himself as he banished the box that he had unwrapped and revealed what looked like a toy plane. A toy Spitfire that was painted a neon pink that was already making his eyes bleed, a blue, white and black flag in the shape of a snake with wings was painted on the wings and the back of the plane. Everyone paled considerably, especially the ones who had seen the thing in action before, as Thalia slithered happily into the cockpit.
*Captain Thalia can take to the air once more!* she cheered, using her snoot to start pushing buttons and flick one or two switches. Thalia hissed in delight as the plane propeller started to turn and the engine kicked into action. *Captain Thalia is ready for take-off!*
Before anyone could say or do anything, the pink familiar plane took off into the air with a jubilant Thalia laughing the entire time. Nagini was soon splitting her scales too, watching her friend dive bomb people and chase after others, mostly Amycus and Alecto. The wise ones amongst the group took shelter underneath the table, much to the horror of Voldemort.
"I think we definitely need those helmets now!" Beynon stated loudly.
"I think Thalia may even be more of a terror than Morpheus!" Holland agreed.
"Remind me to hex those stupid twins the next time we see them!" Corban huffed.
"Are you sure you want to do that, Corban? You don't want to jeopardise your date with Tonks, now do you?" Antonin teased.
Corban Yaxley was pink within five seconds. "It is not a date!"
"Oh, it is absolutely a date!" Thorfinn chuckled.
"No it isn't!"
"Oh so you don't mind if Mr. Mupples comes along again then?" Bellatrix, who too was also under the table, much to everyone's surprise, cackled, looking far too pleased with herself, eyes gleaming with sadistic glee. "Dora will not mind, I am sure-"
Corban, though Voldemort and Nagini could not see it, was very red in the face at this point. "Mr. Mupples is not coming along!"
"Oh so it is a date!" Walden laughed. "It's official!"
"Hey! So my date with Tyler doesn't count?" Rabastan huffed.
"No, it counts – the pair of you are just weird so it fits," Antonin informed semi seriously.
"Shut up, Antonin," Reed grumbled at that.
"Speaking of dates, when is Mr. Avery going to ask Miss Alice out to the opera?" Izzy, who had just sought shelter under the table too after being chased twice by Thalia, wanted to know, sounding very eager. The opera tickets had arrived the day before and everyone seemed to have forgotten about that – apart from the precocious young wolf.
"That is none of your concern, little wolf," Avior replied primly.
"She does have a point. You had better not waste those tickets, or give them to Rodolphus and Bella so they can patch up their rocky marriage," Augustus chuckled.
"I do not answer to any of you!" Avior continued to protest.
"Yes you do! I am your son!" Lysander was incredibly affronted at this point. "When are you going to introduce this woman to me? I want to meet her!"
"Who I court is none of your concern either-"
"I am your son, I must give approval!"
"Oh no you don't! I am your father – I give the approval here!"
"Not in this case!"
Nagini was tittering the entire time, enjoying the argument immensely. Voldemort on the other hand, was not. He had to deal with screaming children, screaming Death Eaters, a noisy plane, a cackling Thalia and now infighting between the Averys about a bloody woman! Once more, the Dark Lord found himself sorely tempted to conjure a pillow and weep into it because of his despair.
How did life end up like this? Oh wait … one bored teenaged Brat and some fricking McDonald's!
Voldemort, counting to fifty in Parseltongue in his head, peered down underneath the table to look at Avior with glowing red eyes. "Avior, you will take Alice out to the opera within the month, and you will introduce her to Lysssander within the month asss well – do I make myssself clear?" he hissed through gritted teeth.
Avior deflated quite quickly. "Yes, my Lord."
"Ask her today! You should never keep a lady waiting!" Bellatrix added.
"Indeed," Narcissa agreed readily. "Not becoming of a gentleman."
Derrick snickered at this point. "Well that would imply Avior is a gentleman, which we all know is complete – OWWW! Avior, you zapped me!"
"Excellent observation," Avior put his wand away with satisfaction while Derrick rubbed his cheek, pouting a little.
Who would have thought it? Grandpa mediating in a family dispute without someone dying! Yaaaaay!
Voldemort very nearly knocked his head on the table. Brat, I will hear no comments from you right now!
Well, I don't want to hear your running commentary during Quidditch practise and during Potions and yet I am forced to put up with it, nonetheless.
Yes, well, what I have to say is far more interesting than that mind numbing sport or what that idiot drivels every single lesson.
Not particularly.
Harry!
Awwww, did I hurt your fledgling feelings?
I have no feelings, Brat!
Could have fooled me – are you trying to tell me you are not an eenie, meanie, tiny bit jealous of Avior and Yaxley that they have woman who don't run from the mere sight of them?
WHY YOU!
Ah, so that's a yes.
The Dark Lord didn't get to make a retort because his attention was once more drawn back to what was happening in front of him. You see, Thalia had decided to press a few buttons experimentally and when she did so, the bottom of the Spitfire opened, releasing miniature confetti animals and firework animals about, causing the ball python to laugh.
*Captain Thalia released the payload! Payload deployment a success!* the ball python congratulated herself.
Whilst Nagini cheered too, Voldemort hung his head into his hands, praying to whatever deity existed that they would show him some mercy.
You don't really like giving mercy yourself, though.
Harry, shut up!
Ooooo touchy!
Voldemort didn't get to make a retort – he was too busy shielding himself from dung bombs and glitter bombs that Fred and George had sequestered away in the plane as a fun little addition to some magical 'payloads'. All the while, Thalia was laughing away happily.
*Thalia is the Queen of the Skies! Bow to Thalia!*
###########################################################################
"You know that I hate you, don't you?"
"Oh Avior, I thought you would be pleased to have an excuse to see Alice again?"
"I would – but I have you for a chaperone!"
"We both know our Lord doesn't trust you to do this on your own. Be glad we are not back at the Manor, cleaning up Thalia's mess."
"Balthazar, he threatened me with three Boglins, a Cruciatus, a Tickle Charm and having to help teach the eagle chicks to fly if I went alone."
"And yet those threats were apparently insufficient because you did almost leave on your own."
"Your ability to keep your nose out of my business is just as insufficient!"
"I am more than willing to bet Miss Alice will be happy to see me. Oh, perhaps she'll be happier to see me than to see you, old friend!"
That earned Balthazar a deadly Basilisk glare from Avior, one that almost made the feared Balthazar Mulciber hold his hands up in mock surrender. Fortunately for the both of them, they were wearing their Glamours so it was less embarrassing as they got some weird looks from the people who passed them. When the pair finally got to the Ye Old Curiosity, Avior gave his friend a pointed look.
"You are not coming inside with me," he stated definitively.
Balthazar smirked. "Hit a nerve, didn't I?"
"Not the point," Avior growled. "I already feel weak in the knees around Alice; I don't need you making things worse when I actually try and ask her to come to an opera with a man who is in hiding and who she barely knows!"
Balthazar rolled his eyes but didn't make a verbal retort. He knew he wasn't going to win this fight. Avior was already heading inside, trying to scrape together as much courage as he could very quickly. Alice was busy with some paperwork it looked like when he entered the shop. That day she was dressed in a red sweater and black trousers; an appealing combination and Avior tried to keep his mind out of the gutter. Almost as soon as she heard the bell, Alice's head shot up and a beaming smile spread on her face when she spotted the disguised Death Muncher.
"Ah, Mr. Avior! Back so soon? Did you hear the good news about Madam Umbridge and former Minister Fudge?" Alice babbled as she cleared her paperwork away.
"I did," Avior couldn't help but smile. "About time too."
"Indeed! I have already heard reports along the grape vine that Madam Umbridge is stickered and painted on every single day, having to endure singing rounds and dancing," Alice stated gleefully, eyes gleaming with sadistic happiness. "I even heard that one child tossed her into the air, mistaking her for a ball. I do hope it's true! In fact I think I will bribe one of my father's friends for a photo in exchange for apple pie."
Avior cleared his throat. "I am afraid that I haven't heard the same colourful tales as you have," he admitted carefully. "I admit I … keep a very small social circle."
"Ah, I see," Alice's smile shrank in size a little. "Do … do I count in that small social circle, considering how many times you have come back?" she tried to keep her voice light, but Avior heard a strain underneath the attempt at being nonchalant.
Avior smiled once more. "Of course you count. I … I enjoy your company very much," he internally winced at that; he knew Balthazar was going to give him a whack around the head for that one if he told his friend that line. Avior cleared his throat quickly, put his hand into his cloak pocket and fished out the opera ticker. "I was … wondering … I was gifted some opera tickets by an acquaintance actually and … erm … I wanted to know if you would consider coming with me, perhaps? I mean, I don't know if you like the opera – it is all right if you do not – I know a couple of friends who enjoy it well enough and who are going through a rocky patch in their marriage-"
"Avior," Alice cut across gently, a look of elation on her face, "I would love to. I have never been to an opera; I have always wanted to go but never seemed to find the time or the inclination to. Which opera is it?"
The Death Eater laughed a little in relief. "To be honest, I am not entirely sure myself – it's a comedy, apparently."
Alice nodded as she took the ticket. "Sounds like fun. I suppose I had better buy myself an opera dress soon then!"
"You don't have to-"
"I want to. I am not going to an opera in just any old dress. Opera goers notice that kind of thing," Alice flushed almost as red as her jumper at this point.
"Would you like me to pick you up that evening or do you wish to come alone?" Avior asked nervously.
Alice grinned. "Letting the lady choose – how gallant and forward thinking at the same time. I say pick me up."
"All right then," indeed it was difficult for Avior not to have a goofy smile on his face.
"It's this Saturday at nine?" Alice checked her ticket.
Avior nodded. "Yes," he confirmed quietly. "I mean if it is inconvenient-"
"I look forward to it; I have no plans Saturday," Alice smiled, flushing a little. "But now, I do have to get back to some work – I have an order I need to complete again; an unexpected one-"
"Say no more! I am leaving!" Avior chuckled, turning towards the door.
Alice looked as though she wanted to say something but she didn't, allowing him to leave the store. Outside, Balthazar was already smirking away, looking rather smug. "And she made the stupid decision and said yes, I take it?"
"Shut up," Avior advised, though could not muster up a scowl or even a small frown.
"Poor girl. Being stuck with an old man who is in hiding."
"Shut up!"
While Avior and Balthazar went down Knockturn Alley, laughing and joking in a similar manner to how they did when they were younger, both Death Munchers simply did not notice that the entire time, they were being watched. By none other than Fred and George Weasley; the twins had of course been keeping an eye on the Vanishing Cabinet during one of their few days off – and had tried their best to spy on Avior and Balthazar the moment that they had spotted two men who matched the description of known Glamours used by the Death Munchers.
What the pair didn't expect, was to see the pair visit Alice Ferrars at her shop.
"It seems the opera tickets are indeed getting used…" Fred mused.
"I am more surprised that Alice said yes," George chuckled to himself.
"How do you know she said yes?" Fred frowned a little.
"Don't think Avery would look too happy if she said no! Look at him Forge, the guy is besotted," George pointed out.
Fred couldn't deny that, as much as he might wish to. "It's weird, isn't it? Seeing a bloody Death Muncher falling head over heels for a girl!"
"Well, I hear our Tonks has turned a Death Muncher's head too," George smirked. "I have nothing against Remus, but I find myself secretly rooting for Yaxley to win Tonks over."
"You're mad!" Fred snorted.
"Nope! I think the sour faced melon could actually be good for her," George responded with a smirk. "Remus had his chance and blew it; plus, he will never get approval from Mama Andromeda, Aunt Narcissa and Aunt Bellatrix after breaking her heart the first time!"
Fred barked with laughter. "I can't believe I almost forgot about that! Oh that story is golden."
"No, what is golden is that Tonks bonded with Mr. Mupples!"
"Yeah OK, that too!"
###########################################################################
Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley likely would never admit that they had anything in common, but one could safely say that the one thing that they could readily confess to sharing was absolute frustration, albeit for very different reasons. Draco because the Cabinet had decided to do some origami with the parchment he had put into it and then had created a fruit salad with the different fruits he had put into it, and Ron because all the while he, Luna and their elf friends were keeping an eye on Heir Malfoy, it was still not obvious to Ron why Draco cared about the Cabinet's Link in the first place.
"No, no, silly thing! Why are you doing that? Don't make me kick you!"
"Did you colour the sky green?! Why would you do that?!"
"…. OK that is just disturbing. Did your friend do that one – please don't start crying again!"
"Why are you pouting? I am not giving you more shoes!"
"Why did you order the books like that – I am done!"
Draco threw his hands up into the air after the Cabinet had ordered the books he had placed into it in alphabetical order when they came back. The Malfoy heir gathered up his things and stomped out of the Room of Requirement, looking like he was about to take a two hour long bath for his nerves alone. As soon as he was gone, Ron marched up to the Cabinet, a determined look on his face.
"Ron, interrogating it is not going to help," Luna was already one step ahead of him, unsurprisingly.
"I wasn't going to interrogate it," Ron grumbled. "Not much anyway."
Luna smiled knowingly at this.
"Master Weasley, Cabinet won't listen anyway," Dobby informed. "The Link is shaky – it is only half done. Former Master Draco isn't fixing the other one properly."
"Master Draco doing a fine job!" Kreacher disagreed easily.
"Kreacher needs to hold Kreacher's tongue!" Winky whacked her fellow elf around the ears at this point.
"So what does Malfoy need in order to fix the other half of the Link?" Ron wanted to know.
"Powerful magic – not just simple fixing spell," Dobby answered, looking eerily solemn at this. "More than just a Happy Spell. Dobby will not say what, because the magic is dangerous."
"Master Draco could do it!" Kreacher stated proudly.
"Mister Malfoy could not!" Winky argued back. "Mister Malfoy is a child!"
Ron snorted. "No offense, Winky, but you should never underestimate a kid. Adults have been doing that with Harry, Hermione and me – with Luna, Gin, Fred, George too. Given that Ferret Malfoy is getting desperate, you never know what kind of Dark magic he is going to pull out of his sleeve to fix this problem."
"Dark magic not needed, sir," Dobby informed. "Just powerful magic."
Ron frowned to himself at this and began pondering. Luna stepped towards the Cabinet as well with a smaller frown on her face. "I think the Cabinets are still acting strangely because there is a miscommunication between them," she stated whimsically. "One of them is speaking English but the other is speaking Welsh, essentially."
"Oh bloody hell," Ron winced at that. "So what the Ferret needs to do is essentially teach one of the Cabinets to speak English?"
"Or Welsh – or both," Luna agreed. "Unfortunately, Draco has not figured that out yet. He is too stressed. For a good reason, but still. If I had to guess, he might talk to Hedwig later about-"
"Hedwig?" Ron cut across, turning sharply to look at his kooky friend.
"Yes. Draco has been visiting Hedwig, Jehoshaphat and Morpheus to talk about his problems," Luna informed dreamily. "Hedwig really is a very good listener, you know, and she does have some very good solutions to human emotional problems. I suppose she has had plenty of practise with Harry."
Ron short circuited for a moment. "Wait … hold on a minute … you mean to tell me that Malfoy has been using Hedwig … as a freaking Mind Healer?"
"In a way, yes," Luna confirmed.
"And why didn't you mention this before?" Ron demanded. "We could have gone straight to get the information from the owl's beak instead of wasting our time watching the Ferret lose his mind at an equally mental Cabinet!"
It was Luna's turn to look a little bewildered. "Erm … Ron, I didn't say anything because I highly doubt Hedwig is going to be willing to talk to us about this."
Ron scoffed at hearing that. "Luna, no offense, but please don't be daft! Hedwig is Harry's owl; she will tell us everything. Come on! I don't want to stay a minute longer in this bloody creepy place!"
Before Luna or the elves could protest, Ron took her hand and started to half drag her from the Room of Requirement, the elves in hot pursuit. Of course, Ron led the way straight towards the Owlery with all three owls protesting – especially Kreacher – and Luna trying to get a word in edge's ways that perhaps this was not such a good idea, but Ron was not listening to any of them.
If there was a slight chance that Hedwig could explain why Draco wanted to fix this Cabinet, Ron needed to take it – if not for his friends' sakes, then for the sake of his own sanity! Much to the relief of Luna and the elves, the Owlery was empty when Ron barged in, making a beeline for a rather annoyed Hedwig, who had been amongst the owls who had been taking a snooze when the youngest Weasley forcefully opened the door.
"Hedwig! Just the owl I have been looking for! Wakey, wakey!" Ron called as he marched over. "You can take your afternoon nap after I have asked a few questions."
"Hooooot," Hedwig grumbled irritably.
"Hey, I am sorry I woke you up on the wrong side of the perch but this is important," Ron folded his arms. "You have been talking to Ferret Malfoy lately, haven't you?"
"Ron …" Luna stated warningly.
Ron ignored her; Hedwig's eyes widened a little before going back to normal. "Hoot. Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot," she answered.
"Oh so you admit it? And may I ask why we haven't heard anything about this?" Ron raised an eyebrow.
Hedwig gave him a sassy look that was way too similar to Harry's. "Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot," she answered just as sassily.
Ron turned almost as red as his hair at this point; Luna gave him a look of 'I told you so'. "What the bloody hell do you mean, 'it is none of my business?' It is absolutely our business! You are Harry's owl, not Malfoy's! He's doing something bad, I know it. You have to tell me what it is."
"Hoot."
"…. Yes."
"Hoot!"
"Yes you do!"
"Hooooot!"
"Hedwig, yes you do! Why in the name of everything good and magical are you protecting the guy who has hexed and cursed Harry from the moment we stepped into the bloody castle?" Ron nearly exploded.
"Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot," Hedwig answered firmly.
There was a moment of stunned silence from Harry's best friend.
"….. What the bloody hell are you talking about 'client-owl confidentiality'?! That doesn't exist!" Ron wailed, causing a few of the owls to wince. Luna pinched the bridge of her nose at this point. "You are not a practising Mind Healer, Hedwig!"
"Hoot! Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot!" Hedwig retorted indignantly.
"…. You're kidding me, right? Malfoy is not your friend! He is the enemy!" Ron shook his head at the owl. "He is just using you until you are no longer useful to him, even if it is as his weird owl Mind Healer. How bloody naïve are you?"
Luna facepalmed at this point; even the elves visibly cringed in horror at the fact those words came out of his mouth. Even Ron, after a moment's pause, visibly regretted what he had said, but it was too late to take it back.
Hedwig, after looking shocked and hurt, suddenly puffed out her chest, yellow eyes bathed in fury. "HOOOOOT! HOOT, HOOT, HOOT!" she screeched angrily as she began pecking Ron, chasing him all the way to the door of the Owlery.
"Hedwig – OWWW! – I am sorry – FUCK! – I didn't mean it – MERLIN'S LEFT SAGGY BALL!" Ron exclaimed as he was chased from the room, Luna and elves following sedately.
"I did try to warn you," Luna sighed.
Hedwig was still steaming with rage by the time they left and Ron was left to explain to his friends why he was covered in owl scratches. Ron was a little bit miffed that he ended up having to dodge book attacks and whacks from Hermione and Ginny for being such a dunderhead. However, by the time he was allowed to recover, Ron had decided that stopping Malfoy from allowing the Cabinets to communicate was a must.
No matter what.
###########################################################################
Nagini wasn't used to going behind Tom's back with things – he was her best friend, and many ways was her protector as much as she was his. However, it seemed that one or two things had rubbed off on her from Thalia, because the moment that Nagini knew Tom and all of his men – including that rat Wormtail – were distracted, mostly thanks to Thalia now and again keeping everyone on their toes with her new plane, she slithered up to Tom's study and snuck in.
Nagini made a beeline for the desk, where she knew Tom had hidden the locket that held part of his soul. She didn't even need to second guess which drawer it was in; the locket was practically radiating its location out to her. Nagini very nearly rolled her eyes at how easy it was for her to bypass Tom's defences on said drawer. Clearly he had only remembered to put spells that kept the humans out of his drawer – perhaps even the sentient plushies and the wolves, and yet failed to put a spell on it to keep out familiars.
It made Nagini snort as she opened the drawer. Tom really needs to step up, or the Potter hatchling may be right about him going senile, she thought to herself.
Careful with your thoughts there, sister. One might think you're agreeing with the enemy.
Nagini smirked to herself. Hello, brother. How is it in there?
Dark and boring. Much like the other place that I was kept, only I heard at least some noise for a while. Now, I have to listen to our 'father' mope and whine and complain about this Potter boy! the locket complained readily. I would rather have stayed with Bellatrix and Mr. Mupples – at least they were entertaining!Nagini snorted. Mr. Mupples did put up quite a fight to rescue you.
Yes and I was bloody disappointed no one could hear me cheer! I am almost wanting to get a physical form again just so I can deal with Mundungus Fletcher myself! the locket was positively humming with anger at this point.
Nagini is pretty certain the sneak thief has been dealt with. Nagini is more concerned about why Nagini has a Link with the Potter hatchling too…
The locket's annoyance seemed to disappear in five seconds flat. You surely do not suspect this boy of … being one of us, do you?
Nagini has no idea, but Nagini hasn't ruled it out, the snake admitted. It makes Nagini wonder if Tom the Diary knew or not …
The diary? The boy has the diary?! We need to-
No, Tom the Diary is gone. Dead, Nagini informed mournfully. The Potter hatchling had to kill him.
It would not surprise me if our brother decided to do something foolish that got himself killed, the locket snorted. Our 'father's' sixteen year old self was sometimes a reckless little Lion instead of a Snake.
Don't say that where Tom can hear! Nagini giggled.
So, little sister, how are you going to see if the boy is one of our kin? the locket wanted to know. More importantly, without 'Father' finding out until it suits us – preferably when you have the answer.
Nagini has no idea. Nagini first wants to gain the Potter hatchling's trust before asking questions like that.
Good. And what if he starts asking questions back?
Nagini will give some answers, but not all the answers, Nagini sighed. Tom is not going to be happy if the Potter hatchling is one of us – he has been dying to get him back for all the Grandpa jokes.
The locket could not help but snort. Grandpa jokes – what in the name of everything magical have I missed over the past seventeen, eighteen years?!
Oh so much! Nagini sighed again. But yes the Potter hatchling makes fun of Tom's human age and likes to call him Grandpa whenever Tom becomes too Tom – he also makes Tom do funny doodles for no good reason and sends him weird dreams. The Lord Ponymort ones are especially strange.
Lord Ponymort – do I even want to know …?
Oh it's about what could have happened if Wormtail had used too much unicorn hair instead of Nagini venom to resurrect Tom and all the shenanigans that follow. Lucius and Wormtail almost get speared by Tom's horn; it's hilarious!
The locket really did not have a good answer for that.
Nagini, if you can't get the trust of the Potter boy or for some reason he doesn't believe you, find a way to send me to him, the locket decided it was best to perhaps move back onto the business at hand. After all, a living Horcrux that doesn't know he or she is a living Horcrux is not something that should just be left out in the world on their own.
But the Potter hatchling isn't alone.
You get my point! Oh and Nagini? Find me some place more interesting to stay if you please. I refuse to stay in that damn drawer a minute longer – even if it means I have to somehow force myself to grow legs, I will do it just to escape!
Nagini frowned in confusion. How are you going to force yourself to grow legs? You're a piece of jewellery.
I don't know! I will think of something, the locket huffed. Just do it!
Bossy.
What was that?
Nothing!
###########################################################################
"What do you think Kingsley and Ferrars have planned that couldn't wait until morning?" Millicent complained quietly as she and Blaise made their way to the new location for the graffiti club meeting. They had been rather surprised that the message was delivered by one of the Creevey brothers – Blaise and Millie both were still a little bit embarrassed that the brothers managed to catch them unawares. Both Snakes tried to save their pride by pointing out to themselves that they had been editing and rehearsing their Weasley Is Our King chant.
Melpomene really still wasn't happy with some of the edits, even after Flora and Hestia made some editions and subtractions; Blaise and Millie had learned the hard way that making the Cobra Lily angry was not a good idea!
"No clue, but considering Samhain is a few weeks away, I suspect our Lion friends may have something special planned for the coming months," Blaise stated with a wry grin.
"What do you think we're going to do?" Millicent wanted to know with a smirk.
"I am hoping on planning some more interesting Samhain decorations or costumes," Blaise answered with a chuckle.
"Another competition?"
"I hope not – we trounced everyone before!"
Blaise and Millicent dodged a grumbling Filch once before they got to the classroom. Kingsley cheered as they entered the door. "And our Snakes! Yes, we are all complete. We can finally begin."
"All right, you two, what's with all the secrecy?" one of the Ravenclaws demanded.
"Yeah. What kind of pieces are we working on this time?" one of the Hufflepuffs wanted to know.
"Well, since we have been taking a break and with Halloween drawing near, we thought it would be fun if we do an October long project," Ferrars answered with a grin. "Not just with street art, but with our own brand of decorating."
"You mean like putting Fawkes the phoenix in a costume?" giggled one of the younger artists.
"Ooooo now that's an idea!"
"Or bribing Looney Lovegood into dressing the Thestrals up!"
"I rather like that idea too!"
"I have always wanted to put a bonnet on him."
"Why a bonnet? You're so weird, Watkins!"
"I think it will look adorable though."
"OK, settle!" Kingsley called with a grin. "It's good that you're already planning. However, Benjamin and I have decided that the main theme for this year is Trick-or-Treat. Our Phantom theme last year was a little bit of a flop, mainly thanks to the toad and her meddlesome ways. On a happier note, I hear that Madam Umbridge got turned into a toad and is now working in the children's ward in St. Mungo's. A rather fitting end!"
That sent chuckles rippling around the room.
Blaise frowned a little and raised his hand politely. Ferrars caught onto him immediately. "Yes, Zabini?"
"What are the boundaries – I take it that we are not allowed to do anything that purposefully maims or harms someone?" Blaise asked.
"Well, I am rather glad we have some sharp, nefarious Snake minds amongst us! Yes, you are not allowed to do anything that could disable or kill someone, however if an accident is caused … well, stuff like that happens," Ferrars responded serenely. Blaise couldn't resist gulping; yep, the guy should have been put into Slytherin! It seemed that Potter was not the only snake in lion's clothing. "Another rule: make sure that the teachers do not catch onto what you are doing. I know that Professor McGonagall and Snape are still on high alert and Filch has only just managed to rid the Hufflepuffs of their wonderful art and cleaned only half of the armour – he is not going to be happy with us by the end of October, so let's not tempt out the thumb screws."
"Thumb screws?" Millicent paled at this.
"Oh he has a pair in his drawer," Kingsley informed, sounding way too happy for everyone's liking. "So, you can use can, paint and paint brush or even clothing making talents – this will be a full art project, not just street art. Of course, bonus points will be given to enchanted street art, but it isn't a must for once. So yes, you can put a bonnet on Fawkes the phoenix, if you can."
That made young Watkins from Gryffindor very happy indeed. Blaise and Millicent rolled their eyes but couldn't help grinning. Dumbledore's dumb flaming chicken getting some costumes was definitely something they wanted to see!
"Now," Ferrars clapped his hands together once, smirking. "Let's make sure that this Halloween is definitely one to remember!"
A collective cheer ensued and even Blaise and Millie found themselves join in. Millie grinned as the group dispersed once more in different directions. "I don't know about you, Blaise, but I think Team Prank could be of use to us for this project," she stated. "Kingsley and Ferrars didn't say that no one outside the group could be consulted."
Blaise smirked. "No, they did not," he agreed. "Do you think Potter and his friends would help us though? We are kind of determined to make a fool of Weasley and Melpomene has been helping us do it – I hear Potter put her on a musical time out because of it. No one is allowed to sing or have music near Melpomene right now – she's singing eerie operetta songs as emotional blackmail."
"Love that Cobra Lily," Millie giggled but he did look a little sad. "Poor Melpomene, though."
"I also hear Longbottom continues to bore her with these old Herbology and Earth magic books from the Restricted Section," Blaise added.
That made Millie frown. "I still think there is more to those books than just simply old Herbology or Earth magic, Blaise. Only powerful grimoires are kept in the Restricted Section. Or books Dumbledore thinks might give students 'funny ideas'," she scoffed.
"So, what do you think Longbottom has been reading then?" Blaise wanted to know.
"I haven't a clue, and I doubt Mr. I Lose My Toad Every Second of The Day would tell us," Millicent huffed. "Tentative alliance or not, we are still friends with Draco, and Longbottom isn't entirely braindead, given he managed to petrify Jugson's behind."
"Yeah, but even the Creeveys could petrify Jugson – the guy isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer," Blaise snorted.
"Fair enough," Millicent agreed. She then had an idea. "Maybe we could get Hestia or Flora to get it out of him? Or maybe Tracey? They are some of the 'nicer' Snakes, and haven't ever lifted a wand to Longbottom. Maybe he'd tell them?"
"One of the Carrows? Yeah no – they are Alecto and Amycus's nieces," Blaise pointed out. "And they're partly the reason Melpomene is on a time out. Tracey could work; she is a half-blood and looks nice enough. Still … it looks too on the nose, Mil. We need help from someone who Longbottom will not see coming."
Millicent deflated. "All of us Slytherins are too obvious! And we only have a few allies in other Houses. There is no way we can use one of them."
Then Blaise lit up; he had possibly one of the maddest ideas he ever had. "Then we don't use a human."
"What?" Millie blinked.
"Then we use a familiar," Blaise grinned.
"A familiar …" Millicent's countenance twisted strangely as she tried to process that possibility. "That could work … but then we need to use a familiar that can either get past Madam Pince or spy through a window."
Blaise's grin did not falter. "I have one or two options to consider."
As the two Slytherins headed already in the direction of their next lesson, they didn't notice the eyes of Justin Finch-Fletchley, who had been in a nearby alcove, following them, with a small smirk on his face.
Interesting, he mused to himself. Harry will want to know about this.
The Hufflepuff gathered his Defence books together, packed them away and decided to head to his next lesson, while pondering on which familiar Blaise Zabini had in mind.
###########################################################################
The Boy-Who-Could-Not-Wait-To-Torture-Some-Uptight-Death-Munchers-Some-More found himself in a much better mood that evening, especially after hearing from Justin about what he had overheard Blaise and Millicent talking about. Neville had been rather nervous at first, but Ron pointing out the fact they knew beforehand meant that Neville could now be on his guard just in case, which calmed the Longbottom heir a fraction. Not by much, but it was something. However, what both wizard and Muggle, was actually interested in that evening, was getting back to the prank spamming of their favourite targets at Malfoy Manor.
Surprisingly, though, it was Hermione who suggested another group living at the Manor be added to the list.
"I think we need to send Muggle vacuum cleaners for the house elves," she had volunteered. "It could inadvertently terrify the Malfoys, the elves will have gotten at least something and Rabastan and Augustus could annoy everyone by trying to make them magical."
Ron had blinked in shock. "Who are you and what have you done to Hermione Granger?!"
Dudley started laughing. "Seems like your girlfriend-who-isn't-a-girlfriend is really letting go now, cousin!"
"She's not my girlfriend, Dud!"
Girlfriend … hang on a minute – who in their right mind would court you?
The Boy-Who-Really-Wished-He-Had-A-Better-Lock-For-The-Link groaned internally. Great – Grandpa Marvolo had heard that!
None of your business, Grandpa, go back to your nap.
STOP CALLING ME GRANDPA! … And you disturbed my nap …
….
Harry, don't you dare…
What was I about to dare, Tommy? You just admitted to taking a nap. My work here is done!
I AM NOT OLD!
Perhaps, but you're as sleepy as one!
WHY YOU-
This time, Harry made sure the Link was shut. Tight. With some nasty tricks if Tom I Stick My Noseless Face Where It Doesn't Belong Riddle tried to open it again. Meanwhile, everyone was teasing Hermione, utterly unaware of Harry shoving the Dark Lord back into the naughty corner.
"She's been kidnapped!" Colin stated dramatically.
"Kidnapped by fairies!" Dennis added just as melodramatically.
"OK, who cast the Imperius Curse?" Seamus added. That earned him a death glare from Hermione, which made him hide his face in his pillow.
"OK, stupid question – do these house elves have names?" Dudley wanted to know.
"Well, I know one of them is called Nansi," Harry supplied. "I have no idea what the rest are called. Maybe we should ask Dobby?"
"Dobby?" Dudley repeated.
"House elf who used to work for the Malfoys," Ron explained simply.
"Well, maybe I could just say 'Nansi and friends'?" Dudley suggested.
"Yeah, I think that would be best – Dobby could be listing the whole night through!" Ginny laughed shortly.
There was the sound of a computer keyboard through the phone. "OK so we have some fresh blood – good! So, what are we thinking of next?"
"Well, I think we should take some inspiration from Zabini and Bulstrode – art stuff," Dean replied with a smirk. "Especially childish colouring books; send it to the Death Munchers in general. It is much more fun if we let them fight it out between them!"
"You think they'll fight over it?" Justin snorted.
"Given that they fight over Rabastan's smoothies, I think there is a good chance," Harry's verdant eyes gleamed happily. "And if not, I am pretty sure the young wolves will find a way to force them into using them. Or Thalia and Nagini will."
"I think then that we need to go all out and send stickers too," Dennis piped up. "Personalised ones!"
"Ooooo I like that idea!" Ron laughed.
"I still have a few designs left that could work … I had some inspiration after I met the guys so…" Dudley mused. "I will see what I can do!"
"Also, shall we just prepare His Grand Snakiness for what is to come and send him some ridiculous Halloween costumes?" Hermione was full of good ideas this evening, smirking a little herself.
"He'll definitely want to kill us at that point," Justin cackled gleefully.
"We could always also send an … adult toy," Dean smirked. "Because his name can also be spelled as 'Mr. Tom, A Dil-"
"SSSSSSHHHH!" Hermione and Ginny hissed at the same time, turning very red in the face.
"-do Lover'," Dean finished, causing splutters to ensue.
Ron was practically falling off his bed because he was laughing so hard. It took him a minute to recover. "How … the … fuck … did he not … realise that?!"
"I doubt Grandpa knows what a dildo is!" Harry I-Have-A-Serious-Death Wish Potter managed to answer as he too tried to get oxygen back into his lungs.
"I like the costumes, but I agree, the other one goes too far! Would be hilarious but I would like you guys not to have all your shoes chewed up. I will order a couple of hundred," Dudley stated happily. "Also, cousin, there was something I had been meaning to ask you."
The Boy-Who-Could-Sense-A-Juicy-Plot-From-A-Mile-Off sat bolt upright. "Ask away, Dud."
"There is another birthday this month, right?"
"Yes," Neville confirmed coolly. "Rodolphus Lestrange."
"Well, I was wondering if it would be all right with all of you if I also plan and coordinate his birthday mayhem?" was the request that no one, not even Luna, saw coming. "I … I guess you could say I kinda got a taste for messing with these guys in person – especially since none of them sussed out who I was – and I like seeing them suffer up close."
Neville deflated a little. "I was hoping I could do the planning for Lestrange's birthday prank. He helped to torture my parents so-"
"Oh then you're definitely helping," Dudley stated definitively. "Cousin, can you give your friend my number?"
"I will give Neville my phone," Ginny answered. "I don't need it for the moment anyway."
"OK cool," Dudley answered as Neville lit up, nodding gratefully at Ginny as she gave him her mobile.
"So, we're just goin' to leave Lestrange's birthday in the hands of those two," Seamus started chuckling. "Oh boy, Lestrange is goin' to regret every messin' with our Neville!"
"Well, unless you have questions or a request from us, Dud, I think we need to call it a night," Harry I See That My Automaton Is Getting Impatient Potter stated. "Our nanny bird is about to send us to bed."
Dudley chuckled. "Sure. Night, wizards!"
"Night, Dudley!"
"Ooooo this is going to be interesting!" Seamus laughed gleefully. "Neville and a Muggle, ruining the birthday of one of Grandpa's most feared men."
A collective snort rang around the room; Harry looked very pleased.
"Oh boy … hopefully Captain Red Eyes didn't hear that!" Ron laughed.
*No but Nagini did!*
Harry froze as he heard the hissing in his head. Fortunately everyone was too busy laughing to notice him tense. The Boy-Who-Was-Talking-To-A-Snake-In-His-Head busied himself with getting ready for bed.
You won't tell?
*Pffft, please, Potter hatchling! Nagini is not a snitch snake,*
Harry could practically feel the eye roll. *Thank you for Thalia's plane. You are a very nice hatchling! And what is this Nagini hears about a mate? You put Tom in a mopey mood again.*Harry turned red. I don't have a girlfriend; my cousin is teasing me.
*No mate? But you want one?*
Errrrrr…
*Oh please not you too! Nagini is already fed up with Tom's obstinance – Nagini does not need you to be obstinate as well, Potter hatchling.*
You may call me Harry, Nagini – and I do want a girlfriend but-
*Oh thank Python! At least one of you has hope of getting hatchlings!*
Harry had genuinely no idea what to say to that. Is there something I can help you with again, Nagini?
*Nagini wanted to see how you are. Would you like a bed time story or song. The wolf hatchlings like those.*
Errrr…
*Nagini is good singer and story teller!*
I don't … I … OK then. Let me get in bed first.
And that was how Harry Potter, the Saviour of Wizarding Britain, found himself being sung to sleep in his head by the familiar of his arch enemy, wondering how his boredom had managed to get him in this situation.
##########################################################################
Oh boy – October is going to be fun it seems. Thalia has her plane; Nagini and the locket are onto something it seems… Both Avior and Corban have dates and once more Team Prank are up to their usual tricks. Dudley and Neville are teaming up – what will they decide for Rodolphus? Stay tuned to find out.
Oh by every god of every pantheon in every faith, I really hate this month. Deaths, recovering from a rather turbulent holiday – yeah my year got off to a very shitty start and it completely screwed up my entire writing schedule. I do apologise and will endeavour to get back into my normal rhythm. I thank you all for being so patient with me – I really appreciate it.
By the way, someone suggested that I put Dudley in charge of all the birthday pranks and I rather like that idea … so thank you reviewer who suggested that! I think it was alias093001. I also wish to thank whoever it was who suggested that colouring books and stickers needed to be done and soon – I think I didn't do those, or at least enough.
See you in the next moment of madness!
Kingmaker'sUmbreon