Hidden Music and Dudley and Neville Plan Rodolphus's Birthday Surprise
"Your great plan is to WHAT?!"
"Well the Carrows presents need to be put to good use and something tells me you two diabolical Snakes know precisely what to do with them!"
"That isn't the point here!"
"Oh I am soooorry, Bulstrode, I thought that was precisely the point here."
"No one asked you, Finnegan!"
"You wanted a meeting with Team Prank; you should have specified only our fearless leader if you didn't want all of us to tag along and not give you suggestions!" Dennis Creevey took great pleasure in pointing out, causing both Blaise and Millicent to scowl.
The rag tag group of Gryffindors, one Hufflepuff, one Ravenclaw and two plotting Slytherins in need for a good Halloween art project had met up in the Room of Requirement – Ron had suggested it not only as a good place to keep out of prying eyes but also as a means to ensure that a certain Heir Ferret Malfoy would have a bit of a snag when he next tried to make the two Vanishing Cabinets communicate with each other.
Yes, the young Weasley was still very much in a vindictive mood.
Despite the fact that the Boy-Who-Knew-Blaise-and-Millicent-Had-Issues-Keeping-Their-Mouths-Shut had some serious reservations about using the Room, the fact that both Blaise and Millicent were being watched with two beady eyes belonging to one Severus Snape more so than usual – almost as though he expected October to be a month of more mayhem – the Room seemed like the most logical option save for the Astronomy Tower and Forbidden Forest, ironically enough.
Of course, Harry I-Practically-Breathe-Mayhem Potter and the rest of his fellow pranksters had more than enough ideas for the Snakes to work with – mostly surrounding the 'presents' they had received from the Death Munchers. Colin and Luna had suggested that they make an enchanted mural of Melpomene that would sing the entirety of the day every time someone living or dead would pass at full blast but Hermione tried to veto that one quite quickly.
"No one will be able to concentrate on their studies!"
"Hermione, you almost lost your killjoy trait; please don't regress!" was the comment from Ron that had gotten him several minor jinxes flung at his head.
"But I rather like that idea!" Millicent had grinned.
"No, Melpomene is still on her musical time out!" the Chosen One To Cause Trouble huffed.
"Oh come on, Potter! It is partially your fault that we are even writing the song," Blaise smirked, ignoring the not so subtle daggers being glared at him by Ron.
"Yes, and it is just a painting!" Millicent added, putting on her best puppy Mooncalf eyes. "Pretty please with several cherries on top?"
"Bulstrode's ill," Dean couldn't help but snort.
Millicent pulled a face in his direction. "Shut up, Thomas!"
"Melpomene mural is a no go, unless you manage to draw her from memory," Harry stated definitively. It was at this point that the new Lord Black had suggested the usage of the pranks sent by the Carrows, which were lying at the bottom of Ginny's trunk until they had figured out precisely how to use them.
Blaise considered for a moment. "I don't know, Mill, it could be fun … I mean, the cards especially could be a good one; each leading to a different art work! Hidden art pieces all over the school that only the select few will be able to find!" his eyes started to shine. "I actually like this idea now!"
"See?! You're overreacting for nothing," the Boy-Who-Was-Causing-Millicent-A-Lot-Of-Concern-At-Present beamed.
Millicent shook her head at him. "You should have been a Snake, Potter."
"Nah! Too boring," Harry stated bluntly, causing his Lions, Eagle and Badger to snort and practically crack a rib laughing.
"Oi! Mill and I aren't boring!" Blaise pouted.
"No, you're among the bearable ones, but bearable is not the standard I want to have reached if I have to share a dormitory with Draco bloody Malfoy!"
Both Millicent and Blaise found themselves conceding that point.
"So, that brings us to the masks," Millicent got the train of thought back on its tracks. "I have a hunch what they are and I don't think they are going to be able to be turned into an art work, unless you want magical, overpowered gargoyles roaming the castle."
"Just-about-tolerable-Snake says what?" Seamus's eyes were bugging out of his socket, along with a few of the pairs of eyes belonging to the members of Team Prank.
Millicent rolled her eyes, "I don't think that Amycus did his research properly-"
"No surprises there," Ginny couldn't help but comment.
"-but my father loves collecting antiques and special Dark artefacts. Those masks are known as Masks of Magical Trickery. Some believe they were designed by fairies. You see, those masks love boosting the power or imbuing power to whoever is stupid enough to wear them. If we put them on gargoyles, chances are the masks will animate them and give them a power to boot."
"OK that sounds awesome!"
"Colin!" Hermione scolded.
"I mean, that sounds horrible. Utterly horrific … not at all cool …"
"Or worth seeing for ourselves …" Dennis added forlornly.
"Or worth putting on Witherwings," Seamus continued.
Hermione was extremely pale at that suggestion. "No, no, no, no, NO!"
"For once I agree with Granger," Millicent sighed regretfully. "Those masks are bad enough when they're put on a human, let alone on something that is as unpredictable as a bloody Hippogriff or an inanimate object!"
"Kind of stupid that we have them then," Neville stated.
"A little bit, yeah!" Blaise agreed easily. "But I do think you should try them out! You never know they might come in handy."
Team Prank made a mental note of that.
"Just out of curiosity, did you learn anything more about what Draco's up to?" Millicent wanted to know.
"He's trying to get two Vanishing Cabinets to communicate with each other," Luna replied whimsically. "It isn't working very well."
"Fuck's sake, could you please speak English?!" Blaise exclaimed. "Gobbledegook makes more sense than that!"
Luna hummed but refused to say anything more. Ron huffed. "That's all she's going to tell you, Zabini. I don't get it either. Tried to get the answers out of Hedwig and it didn't work."
"Hedwig?!" Millicent spluttered. "Why would Potter's owl-"
"She's his Mind Healer," Ron grumbled.
It was safe to say that both Millicent and Blaise were utterly stumped by that answer.
"Excuse me?" Millicent managed to say weakly.
"Your friend is seeing Harry's owl to unload about his problems," Justin helpfully clarified with a grin.
"Yes, I gathered that! What I am trying to get my head around is why?!" Millicent wailed.
"Welcome to our world," Ginny sighed grimly. "Here everything that makes no sense makes sense and everything that should make sense doesn't. We hope you develop a numbness to it soon."
"Thank you, Gin!" Harry snorted.
"No offense, Weasley, but I don't think I will ever get used to your insanity!" Blaise laughed. He then frowned. "So if Draco sees Hedwig, surely Hedwig told you everything?"
"NOPE!" Ron announced angrily, turning almost as red as his hair in frustration.
"Why?" Millicent dared to ask.
"CLIENT-OWL CONFIDENTIALITY!"
There was yet another moment of disbelieving silence from the two Snakes.
"The fuck …?" was all Blaise could say after a minute.
"I tried to get Hedwig to tell me but she wouldn't!" Ron ranted. "I told her she was being ridiculous and that your ferret friend was just using her and then she started kicking my butt-"
"She was pecking you," Neville corrected.
"You know what I mean, Nev!"
Blaise whistled. "Low blow, Weasley, even for you!"
"Yeah, you deserved that pecking," Millicent agreed immediately. She lit up. "Hey! We should add a line about that to the song!"
"DON'T YOU DARE!" most of Team Prank chorused.
##########################################################################
Eventful was perhaps not the right adjective to use to describe the morning that Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters had. Indeed, they had gotten used to Thalia happily taking her plane for a spin during breakfast and dinner, but when she had run out of confetti boxes that had come with the plane, everyone thought that was the end of bomber Thalia.
Alas, they were all sorely mistaken, because they were still living with a certain Antonin Dolohov, Balthazar Mulciber and Thorfinn Rowle in the house! Those three had secretly been working on some magical 'weapons' that they wanted Thalia to test for them. Naturally all of them kept their plots and schemes hidden by at least five layers of Occlumency shields just in case a certain noseless but nosy Dark Lord decided to take a peek inside their heads for their latest plans. All three were usually rather reluctant to try and hide something from their Lord, but on this matter, Antonin, Balthazar and Thorfinn decided that the rewards outweighed the risk of getting another Boglin.
It was that morning when every other unfortunate Dark wizard and werewolf learned the error of thinking they were safe from the flying ball python and her new addiction to sending all of her friends running amok. It began with Thalia and her plane being taken to Thorfinn's room, the excited Scandinavian Dark wizard half codeswitching into his second native language in his enthusiasm as he explained to her what the plan was. Thalia didn't catch half of the things her friend said, but all he needed to say was "payload", "drop" and "electric" and Thalia was already onboard with whatever hair-brained scheme this Death Muncher had cooked up.
The lower rank Death Eaters and Wormtail were soon in for a shocking surprise as they found themselves being targeted by the familiar bomber, dropping little metal spheres that would disperse bolts of plasma upon hitting their targets, stunning them and making their hair stand on end. The sounds of the screams and cries of pain served as the alarm clock for the Inner Circle and the Greyback pack. Except for Izzy, who had gotten up rather early to go the lavatory and coincidentally was an eyewitness to Wormtail and the Outer Circle of Death Eaters trying desperately to dodge and shoot Thalia's plane down at the same time.
Safe to say, they did not succeed because Thalia had learned from her mistakes from last time.
Once Thalia had run out of 'Thorfinn Shockers', as she had taken to calling them, Balthazar was the next Death Muncher to risk yet another hideous Boglin and a Cruciatus in order to equip Thalia with a rocket-like projectile – yes Augustus and Rabastan helped him plan it, how did you know? – that would hit the unfortunate it struck with a low powered but still rather nasty Bombarda effect, in an effort to try and simulate how an actual Muggle rocket worked.
These caused a bit more of a vitriolic reaction.
"WHOEVER GAVE THAT STUPID SNAKE THOSE DAMN THINGS NEEDS TO BE FED TO DEVIL'S SNARE!"
"OWWW – THALIA – FUCK – NONONONONONONONONONO!"
CRASH! BOOM! BANG!
Instead of being focused on taking the ball python out of the air, the Outer Circle and Wormtail spent their time trying to dodge and catch any priceless Malfoy artefact that was in danger of becoming collateral damage during Thalia's air assault.
*DO YOU SUBMIT TO THALIA YET?!* the ball python cackled manically.
"SHE'S HIGH! WHO HAS BEEN FEEDING HER FIZZY DRINKS?! OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" the Death Muncher in question was forced to dive out of the way of another rocket shot in his direction for that comment.
Naturally, the bombing reverberated through the entire house. While there were some who could go about their day to day business without being too concerned about the noise – Bella, Rabastan, Mr. Mupples, Augustus, Nagini, Walden and Avior – and some even continued plotting to spy on Avior and Corban's up and coming dates, the rest of them were wearing earmuffs and shooting Thorfinn and Balthazar dirty and accusing looks while the pair of them happily ate their breakfast. Voldemort seemed to be rather tempted to make them scream in pain for the pain their inventions were causing his ears, however the thing that gave him pause to do it, was the risk of getting a very stroppy, pouty Thalia who would no doubt kick up a fuss and make him her next target.
"So which one of you made Bombarda Rockets?!" Corban exploded, glaring at the usual suspects.
"They're just called rockets," Rabastan thought it was a good idea to supply.
"Rabastan, I didn't ask you!"
"Don't talk to him like that!"
"Shut up, Reed, you lovesick puppy!"
"Ooooh that is rich coming from the man going on a date with a woman young enough to be his sister or his daughter!"
"COULD YOU ALL SHUT UP?! YOU'RE GIVING MR. MUPPLES A HEADACHE!"
"Speaking of headaches," Alecto grumbled, looking up. "She's baaaaaaack!"
Right on cue, Thalia came zooming into the room, singing loudly and happily, landing onto the table and getting her plane towards Antonin and Balthazar. *Balthazar, the Bombarda Boombas are amazing! You should make some more-*
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Almost everyone in the room disagreed.
"Thalia, just stick to comedy!" Amycus snarled.
*Shut up, Amy, I wasn't talking to you! No one wants to talk to you!* Thalia then giggled. *Hey Balthazar, have you been practising Muggle magic acts still? I know one you can do on Amy.*
"Which one?" Mulciber asked in amusement.
*The disappearing act.*
Amycus glared at the ball python with vitriol but quickly mellowed down when he saw Voldemort threateningly put a Boglin down on the table, not so subtly, and keeping his red eyes firmly fixed on the Death Muncher.
Amycus knew better than to make another comment.
Unfortunately for the mental health of the Inner Circle, Thalia had made no attempt to get out of her plane, for one obvious reason. Antonin had started loading her plane with his inventions, while Walden, Balthazar and Thorfinn attempted to keep everyone who tried to stop the Russian at bay.
"ANTONIN, NO!"
"WHY DO YOU EXIST?"
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU FUCKING RUSSIANS AND CAUSING TROUBLE?!"
"That's racist, Lysander."
"Yeah, Antonin is just following his nature."
"SCREW YOU, AUGUSTUS!"
"Antonin … what have you made?" Voldemort demanded silkily, his red eyes glowing quite brightly.
Don't you dare be a party pooper – oh wait, that's your middle name.
HARRY!
At least keep the Crucio to a minimum. I don't fancy hearing screams of torture while I am trying to listen to Snape. On second thoughts – it might be more entertaining than this lesson…
Who are you and what have you done to the Golden Boy?
He's taking a permanent nap. I killed him before you did! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!
Voldemort didn't know quite how to answer that.
Antonin meanwhile had gulped. "Well, my Lord, B-Balthazar bought some Instant Darkness Powder from Messers Weasley when we went to investigate their shop. I decided it c-could be interesting to see if we could turn them into Instant Darkness Bombs just in case we need to bring Thalia on a mission."
"ARE YOU MAD?!" Corban, Fenrir, Lucius, Narcissa and several others chorused, paling at the thought of experiencing Thalia in the field.
*Captain Thalia is preparing to face the Red Baron!* the ball python giggled.
"Why do you keep putting ideas in her head?!" Lord Greengrass was finally losing his will to live.
Nagini gave Voldemort a very pointed look. *Dare to say anything bad about Thalia in the field and I will tell Harry about the time you had a crush on the Magical Theory teacher!*
Voldemort was paler than snow in two seconds flat while the Death Munchers who heard gaped unabashedly. *NAGINI! NO!*
What did she say? GRANDPA, TELL ME! the Boy-Who-Was-Risking-Double-Detention-With-Snape-At-This-Point badgered.
When Antonin finished loading Thalia with the Instant Darkness Bombs, she immediately took off and promptly demonstrated the potency of Antonin's little invention. As soon as the payloads were dropped, a curtain of darkness immediately fell around the room, causing some of the young werewolves to panic.
"Who turned off the lights?!"
"Tyler, I'm scaaaaaared!"
"OWWW! Phoebe that was my foooooot!"
"Sophie, you peanut, you kicked Augustus!"
"WOULD ALL OF YOU PIPE DOWN?!"
"HANNAH, FENRIR'S MEAN!"
WHACK!
"YAAAAOWWW! HANNAH, YOU HIT ME IN THE-"
"SSSSSSSILEEEEEEEENCE!" Voldemort's new patience limit had well and truly been reached. The windows and the mirror in the rooms split apart. The paintings covered their ears. The Outer Circle and the house elves went to hide. Thalia faced some wind as she landed; Nagini sighed in resignation. Mr. Mupples tumbled into Rabastan's open arms. The Locket Horcrux, hidden inside the pocket of Bella's dress, almost regretted coming out of the drawer.
*Lord Grumpymort has made a comeback,* Nagini sighed like an irritated mother at her child throwing a temper tantrum.
"ALL OF YOU WILL GO TO YOUR CHAMBERSSSSSS!"
*Oh look he's preparing to discipline his hatchlings!* Thalia tittered.
"NOOOOOOOOOOW! AND SSSSSSTAY THERE UNTIL I SSSSSAY SSSSSO!"
*Maybe he will win the bet, Nagini.*
*No, never going to happen.*
"YOU TWO ASSSS WELL!"
*See?*
*Yes, you're right.*
No one dared to argue with the Dark Lord. The Inner Circle had escaped up to their rooms in seconds. However, it seemed that Voldemort forgot to add some caveats to his orders; he forgot he was dealing with Slytherins. While everyone went to their rooms, the ones who could, would simply open their windows and lean out of the windows in order to communicate with each other. The rest, made use of the scrying mirrors that happened to be in every single one of the bed chambers. So the Outer Circle were soon greeted with the unusual and rather comical scene of seeing the Inner Circle members in rooms with windows, shouting at each other via the windows.
"How the fuck are we supposed to greet the scum now?!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, WALDEN?!" Rabastan's voice called from one of the windows on the right side of the Manor.
Walden immediately used a voice enhancement charm. "I SAID – HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GREET THE SCUM NOW?!"
"WE CAN STILL BET ON THE COLOURS RIGHT?!" Thorfinn added.
"THERE'S NO FUCKING POINT! IT WILL BE ALL THREE AGAIN!" Amycus felt the need to sneer.
"SHUT UP, AMY!"
"Well at least we can now see them coming without the help of the werewolves – no offence!" Antonin pointed out.
"NONE TAKEN!" Beynon, Holland and Roland chorused.
Nagini and Thalia were in their own rooms, tittering away as they heard Voldemort sobbing from inside his study. *Tom didn't think this through, no, no he didn't!* they sang in glee.
##########################################################################
"Heeeeey! Red, you're back! Ready for another bout of madness?"
"To be honest, I don't know if I will be ready at all – they give me the creeps!" Wendy admitted to the two men from Amazon that she made the delivery with the last time.
"We did say that they don't like us!" Kevin chortled.
"Wait, you guys have done this weird trip before?" the new UPS driver, another newbie by the looks of the young man's age, stated with wide eyes. "I thought this was some kind of joke!"
"Kid, did every one of your colleagues refuse this delivery?" Ryan couldn't help ask.
"Erm … yes…"
"There you go!" Kevin stated brightly.
The delivery drivers started their engines again and pulled up closer to the creepy house that has become a horror story or a comedy routine back at their bases. Wendy quietly kicked herself for agreeing to do this delivery but she needed the extra money and these days, the deliveries to Malfoy Manor paid double. All because no one willingly wanted to take the drive anymore.
Kevin, Ryan, Wendy and their new initiate to the madness pulled up to the Manor and immediately Kevin and Ryan's faces fell. "Hey! Where are the guards?!" Ryan pouted. "Oh no, are they ill?"
"I have no idea. Maybe – hey wait a minute! What the hell?" Kevin pointed up to the Manor. "Are there … people hanging out of windows?"
Wendy put her window down and looked utterly flabbergasted. Indeed there were at least seven people hanging out of the top floor windows, waving their arms madly; one or two even had a flag.
What in the name of everything good and holy was going on?!
"HELLOOO!" one of them called. "CAN YOU HEAR US?"
"Dude, how he shouting that loudly?" the new driver laughed in disbelief.
"Good thing I have this!" Kevin, for whatever reason, had a mega phone in his van – Wendy had no idea why he even had that – and he raised it. "YES! WE CAN HEAR YOU? WHY ARE YOU ALL HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW?!"
"WE WERE BEING TOO LOUD!" came a collective chorus.
"You're not being all that silent now," the UPS driver couldn't help but comment.
Wendy snorted inadvertently.
"OH THAT SUCKS!" Kevin called back.
"WHO ARE YOUR PRESENTS FOR?!"
Out came the clipboards; Wendy felt sorry for the new guy, who looked as confused as she did the first time round. She was still confused, if she had to be completely honest with herself. Kevin, having the mega phone, went first.
"I HAVE PRESENTS FOR NANSI AND FRIENDS!"
"YOU WHAAAAT?!"
Wendy could have sworn three people had almost fallen out of their windows in surprise. Clearly they had not seen that coming!
Kevin then passed the mega phone to Ryan.
"I HAVE DELIVERIES FOR ALL THE DEATH MUNCHERS!" Ryan announced while trying to keep a straight face.
"OH FUCK!"
"SHUT UP, AMY!"
Wendy blinked a couple of times when Ryan left his van to hand her the mega phone. It was a very good thing that this job now paid double! She cleared her throat and looked at her clipboard.
"I HAVE A DELIVERY FOR EVERYONE IN THE MANOR!" Yes that was on her clipboard; Wendy wished she was making things up. She promptly got out of her van to hand the mega phone to the poor sod in the brown van who couldn't quite believe what was happening.
"THE FUCK DID THAT BRAT DO NOW?!"
"IT'S PROBABLY ROTTEN FRUIT!"
The UPS driver shook his head in disbelief. "I HAVE A DELIVERY FOR A MR. D.L. RED EYES!"
"OK SO WE ARE DEFINITELY STAYING IN OUR CHAMBERS!"
"NO ONE ASKED YOU, BEYNON!"
"I DON'T WANT A HEARING AID BY THE TIME I'M THIRTY THANKS!"
"NO YOUR MUSIC DOES THAT FOR YOU!"
"YOU'RE NOT ANY BETTER, LESTRANGE!"
Kevin of course knew the drill by now so while the Greyback pack and the Inner Circle continued to bicker, he rang the bell. A very exhausted Lady Malfoy answered the call. "Yes, yes, I heard everything – come in," she sighed in resignation.
Seconds later, the gate creaked open.
"Oh my God that's just cool and creepy!" the UPS driver gaped. "So they do have an automated gate … Wait a minute, what's with all the flamingos everywhere?!"
"Don't ask," Wendy advised as they started the engines and drove into the Malfoy property.
What happened next was potentially one of the weirdest experiences Wendy will ever have. As she, Kevin, Ryan and their UPS compatriot began unloading their trucks, the people upstairs were actively counting and making bets about how many boxes would come out of each of the vans and the losers apparently had to forfeit their breakfast smoothies. The boxes were collected by people in intimidating black get-ups and a rotund little man who frankly had a face only a mother could love, in Wendy's opinion.
Again, around these people, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She didn't like being anywhere near these people, and she could tell very easily that the feeling was more than mutual.
I have a feeling they don't particularly care about the boxes, the voice in the back of her head commented. They hate the fact I am breathing the same air as them!
When one of them made a threatening move towards her, Wendy couldn't help but flinch, which caused chuckles amongst the guy's friends; not amongst the people up at the windows though.
"OI, WILKES! DO THAT AGAIN AND YOU'LL REGRET IT!"
"I'LL PUT TOADS IN YOUR STEW!"
"I'LL CHEW YOUR SHOES!" added a very young female voice from one of the windows but Wendy couldn't tell which one.
"I'LL USE YOU AS A TEST FOR MY NEW HEX!" the familiar Russian accent of the man called Antonin added.
Wendy was internally grateful but was very quick to hop back into her van and was more than happy to speed after Kevin and Ryan, out of the creepy grounds. Next time, she was going to demand a pay rise because intimidation was one thing Wendy did not sign up for. She didn't mind the weird mansion, the silly costumes or even the stupid flamingos in the garden.
Something had told her that she had been in immediate danger and frankly, 12 pounds an hour for that shit, just would not do! She didn't care if this job paid double – 24 pounds wasn't worth her life!
#########################################################################
"CRUCIO!"
Reginald Wilkes regretted his decision fifteen minutes after the Muggles left, having just faced his second Cruciatus from a very pissy Voldemort. Not only had the idiot risked the pranks, but he had ensured his Inner Circle and the werewolves had gotten uppity, and thus more annoying. Ergo, the Dark Lord now was left with a pounding headache and not enough patience to simply give Wilkes a Boglin for his transgressions.
Thalia began fanning the idiotic Death Muncher. *Thalia thinks you need to invest in some more intelligent followers, Tom!*
"HEY!" the Inner Circle and Outer Circle protested immediately, the werewolves giggling.
"I thought we were friends, Thalia!" Antonin lamented dramatically.
Thalia rolled her eyes. *We are, Antonin, but that doesn't mean that none of you haven't got Smooth Brain Syndrome!* she sassed as Wilkes gingerly got to his feet and escaped from the parlour as quickly as his legs could carry him.
She definitely has a point there.
Voldemort's eyes were neon in seconds. NOT NOW, HARRY!
Lucius was not in the least bit concerned about the insult to his intelligence. He had another worry on his mind; he was paler than his albino peacocks. "What if the Brat has sent them clothes? What if he has sent my entire staff clothes? He already took Dobby from me – I am going to lose my staff!"
Oooooo, do not give me ideas!
HARRY!
What has got your wand into three knots today?
THALIA AND HER BOMBER!
Ah.
Is that all you have to say for yourself?!
No. This as well: hahahahahaha!
I hate you.
"Hehehehehehehe indeed Mr. Mupples, Lucy has to wash all of his own clothes if Papa has sent clothes!" Bella laughed maniacally, the others following suit.
"So do all of you if the Brat frees Nansi and the others!" Narcissa pointed out coldly.
The laughter quickly died down at this point.
Balthazar gave Lucius a pointed look. "Lucius, my friend, you are making a fuss over nothing."
Walden smirked a little. "I doubt Potter and his friends spent their free time going to Lost Property just to find some old uniforms-"
"HE IS EVIL ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"
Yes I am.
You don't have to sound so pleased with yourself, Brat!
Yes, I do, Grandpa – I got a compliment from Lucius Malfoy!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!
Yeah OK you have a point there …
Voldemort, pulsing with anger, turned to Lord and Lady Malfoy. "Ssssummon Nansssi here NOOOOOOW!"
Lucius and Narcissa visibly flinched. "NANSI!" Narcissa did not need to be told twice.
CRACK!
"Mistress summoned Nansi?"
The elf in question was visibly confused. Nansi and the staff knew better to bother her Master and Mistress during what was now known as "present opening" time on pain of a very brutal beating. It was safe to say that Nansi was more than a little bit concerned and nervous.
Narcissa pointed to the two boxes that had been brought into the parlour from the thirty boxes that had been delivered for the elves. "Those are for you."
In about five seconds, Nansi was dangerously pale. She looked at the boxes. "…. What? Boxes … for … N-N-Nansi?"
"And your friends!" Izzy added helpfully.
WHOOOMP!
"Ah brilliant! She's fainted!" Thorfinn huffed as Thalia began fanning the now comatose elf.
"To be honest I expected her to faint already," Derrick smirked.
*Nansi! Wake up! Present time!* Nagini shouted as she slithered up to the elf and nudged her a couple of times with her snoot.
*Nansi never gets presents so she's surprised. Poor Nansi; Lucy and Narcissa are mean,* Thalia stated primly, causing Lucius and Narcissa to scowl at her.
Lysander Avery wasn't all that patient today. Without so much as waiting for an order from Voldemort, he had drawn his wand and pointed it at the elf and shot a nonverbal Awakening Charm at her. Nansi jumped around ten feet into the air and took a few deep breaths. "Nansi is awake! Nansi is awake!"
"Gooooood! Now open your presents!" Rodolphus sneered, glaring at the elf.
Nansi gulped. She looked to Lucius and Narcissa for orders; the cold stone Basilisk stare from both of them told her enough. The elf quickly hurried over to the boxes and quickly had the boxes open with a snap of her fingers.
To say that the confusion at seeing some very odd looking devices in the boxes was palpable in Nansi – and the Death Munchers – it would be an understatement. While the elf blinked at them, some of the werewolves were snickering away. Fenrir was growling at the machines.
"Care to share with the class?" Corban sneered at them.
"They're called vacuum cleaners," Reed responded with a wolfish grin. "They are used to clean houses."
Nansi's tennis ball sized eyes began to water. "MISTRESS THINKS NANSI DOESN'T CLEAN PROPERLY!" she bawled immediately, a fountain of tears coming out of her eyes.
"I think we may need to conjure an umbrella," Rabastan commented.
"Basti, shut up," Amycus sneered.
"You shut up, Amy, you never have anything useful to say!" Antonin countered almost immediately.
*No, no, no, Nansi, your work is more than fine – Lucy, stop being useless and compliment her!* Thalia huffed, not realising her words had only made the elf start to cry louder.
Lucius looked utterly flabbergasted at that but Narcissa clenched her teeth. "Nansi … your work is … more than satisfactory," Lady Malfoy grinded out as people actually covered their ears because of Nansi's bawling.
Nansi controlled herself for a moment. "R-r-r-r-r-really, M-M-M-M-Mistress?"
"Yes."
Out came more tears – this time of happiness.
Damn it – the parlour isn't flooded yet.
SHUT UP, BRAT!
Voldemort had almost forgotten the Boy-Who-Was-A-Massive-Pain-In-His-Side had been watching the entire thing!
Nansi disappeared with a POP! just as she was dismissed by Lucius, who looked like he just wanted to go to bed. Voldemort almost missed the fact that the young wolves, Rabastan, Antonin and Walden were opening the boxes that had been delivered for everybody in the house. Very soon he was met with the sight of his Inner Circle and the Greyback pack rifling through leaves and leaves … of stickers.
Personalised stickers. Based on all of them.
Stickers of Thalia and Nagini. Stickers of Mr. Mupples; Rabastan and Tyler; Rabastan petting Dippy; Bella and Mr. Mupples; Mr. Mupples with Draco and Tonks … Fenrir chewing on shoes – oh that one was a favourite amongst everyone, apart from the Alpha himself! Voldemort frowned in suspicion as he watched.
The stickers were, he hated to admit it, well done. Too well done. They were clearly not made in one night and frankly he doubted that Harry and his band of irritating pipsqueaks actually had any artistic talents to speak of. No … something told the Dark Lord it had been someone else. Someone they likely didn't know.
At that thought, Voldemort actually found himself smiling. A new player in the game! This should be annoyingly fun!
"Hey look! This one is Amy with his Death Pony!"
"THE SOONER THE BRAT IS PUT OUT OF HIS MISERY THE BETTER!"
"SHUT UP, AMY!"
*Izzy, put the sticker on his face!* Thalia coaxed happily.
Izzy smirked evilly at the idea; Amycus paled. "Don't you bloody dare!"
"Immobilus!" Rabastan was quick on the draw, freezing Amycus in place and allowing Izzy to pounce, much to everyone's sadistic delight. Jugson made sure the sticker would not be so easy to remove once in place.
Voldemort was once again left with wishing he had a nose to pinch.
"Next box!" he snapped sharply, immediately calling the attention back onto the task at hand.
"Soooo who gets to do the honours?" Augustus grinned.
"Mr. Mupples wants to open it!" Bella immediately announced.
Rodolphus sneered. "Of course he does."
"Dolph, shut up before you join Amy," Rabastan threatened.
Rodolphus scowled but did as he was told. Mr. Mupples, with the help of Bella, opened the box that had the gift for every member of the Inner Circle and they lifted out sketch books, pencils, paints, oils, canvases, paint brushes, clay and charcoal.
Voldemort, Lucius and Narcissa all looked extremely concerned as they saw many faces light up. Fenrir had already lost the will to live and was curled up on the sofa, trying to pretend he was asleep.
"I'm going to paint Augustus!" Izzy said happily.
"I want to paint Hannah!" Phoebe added.
"I want to paint the owls!"
"The falcons deserve a good portrait!"
"I want to do a drawing of Amy smiling because it will be the only version of him that does!"
"I want to paint Bella because she's pretty!"
That got a concerned silence; Bellatrix smirked at this, actually pleased with the compliment for once in her life. Mr. Mupples shook in agreement.
"Ooooo Corban, are you going to paint something for your girlfriend?" young Sebastian couldn't help but tease the Death Eater.
Corban flushed. "She's not my girlfriend, wolf!"
Quietly, though, the answer was yes.
Thalia then started tittering. Uh oh.
*Hey, Nagini, what do you call a bunch of Death Eaters who take up art?*
*No idea, Thalia, tell me!*
*The Paint Eaters!*
A collective groan and chuckles arose at that.
"Thank you, Thalia!" Avior half chuckled.
*You're welcome! Hey Nagini, what do you call Malfoy Manor when little wolves have their hands on paints?*
*No idea, Thalia!*
*A giant canvas!*
The werewolves cackled at this; Lucius and Narcissa looked set to faint. Attention was soon back on Voldemort, however, as he stepped up to his own box and had the box itself Banished from around whatever Merlin forsaken monstrosity was going to be inside. The Dark Lord, who had up until this point noted the Boy-Who-Lived-To-See-Him-Grow-Silver-Hairs-Somehow had been eerily quiet, could have sworn he heard cackling in the back of his mind.
*Thalia, I think we have to brace ourselves for Lord Grumpymort,* Nagini commented.
*Has everybody got their WALKMANS?* Thalia asked around. *You might want to start playing some U2 right about now!*
The advice was followed and a good thing too. The moment Voldemort saw the clown costume, skeleton costume, reaper costume, stereotypical witch costumes, a demon, a devil, an awful excuse of a ghost costume amongst other things, the steam started to come out of his ears and the ground beneath their feet started to shake again.
"HAAAAAAAAAARRRRYYYYYYY POOOOOOOOOOTTERRRRRRRR!"
Once again, wizarding Britain was left wincing and hiding under the nearest piece of furniture as the scream of Lord Voldemort echoed around them. Toad Umbridge had jumped on top of a cupboard and had accidentally knocked it down, almost flattening one of the children and the Queen and her sister Margaret were left stunned when the tea cups in their hands exploded.
"Oh dear," was all the both of them had to comment.
Meanwhile the teachers at Hogwarts popped open their bottles of Firewhiskey and sobbed internally at the misfortune of being stuck with a Potter who was infinitely more diabolical than James Potter and his friends put together.
###########################################################################
Luna was happy to find a moment to herself to just visit the library and do some studying, humming to herself as she put some books that she had finished with back on the proper place. She had just put back a book on Advanced Charms when Luna noticed she had accidentally knocked another book off its shelf.
She sighed to herself. "Clumsy," she whispered to herself.
As the young Ravenclaw picked the book up, three leaves of parchment suddenly dropped out from the book. Frowning, Luna put the piles of books down onto the desk in front of the bookcase and bent down to pick up the leaves, thinking that perhaps someone had forgotten their notes.
Well, they were notes – just not study notes. Musical notes. The parchment leaves was sheet music. Luna had some musical training so she identified the notes pretty quickly, and she soon realised it wasn't any song that she knew from the radio. This made Luna sit down for a moment and begin studying the parchment to see if she could find anything that could help identify who wrote this.
About a minute later, Luna could detect no obvious signature. So, she hummed to herself and allowed a smile to form. She took out her wand and cast a Revelation Spell onto the leaves. On the bottom of the third leaf, finally, she had hit the jackpot.
I wish I saw a way out, but I cannot go against my own Father. I know I will never write music again. To the person who perhaps finds this message – most likely a Ravenclaw or fellow Slytherin – I thank you for finding it, and ask you if you know how to play, play this once for me. I think it isn't as good as it could be … but then again I have always been my own worst critic.
I have hidden three more pieces in books around the library. I hope my friends don't know what I am doing. They would think me soft.
XM
Luna giggled to herself. Someone had left a treasure hunt? But then she looked at the signature.
XM … XM … why did that seem familiar to her?
"Interesting," she mused to herself. "Very interesting indeed…"
###########################################################################
"Erm … hi?"
"Ah, you must be Neville. Dud said you'd call. By the way, is it cool if I call you Nev?" Piers had picked up the phone when Neville had returned Dudley's missed call. He and the rest of Team Prank had just survived another lecture from all the teachers in Dumbledore's office that was cut short when the hidden Secret Spiller had started spilling some very … awkward things about Dumbledore, the staff, the portraits and Fawkes.
Apparently Fawkes loves stealing Dumbledore's food – his favourite food to be exact. When Neville and his friends had left the office, Dumbledore and his phoenix had still been in a heated row while everyone was left questioning why on Earth Fawkes was dressed like a freaking shepherdess with a crook. It had not been them for once but it had been utterly hilarious!
"Yes, that's more than fine," Neville reassured. "I'm not calling back at a bad time, am I?"
"Nah, mate, don't worry. My mum is out and Dud and I are just having pizza. So what's this I hear about another birthday being planned?" Piers sounded very excited. "The last one was a blast. Please tell me Potter doesn't mind us coming again!"
"I think Harry kind of expects it," Neville admitted.
"Hey, Nev," Dudley's voice joined the conversation at this point. "How were the latest set of pranks received?"
"Mostly well but erm … Mr. Grumpy Cloak wasn't happy," Neville reported.
"So same old, same old. Gotcha," Dudley chuckled. "So then, mate, what were you thinking for this Rodolphus Lestrange fellow?"
Neville chuckled nervously. "To be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea but I want it to cause him pain and embarrassment."
"These guys are seriously weird and just don't seem to like anything normal and fun, right?" Piers pointed out.
"Yeah, that's right," Neville agreed easily.
"Then, Nev, my friend, how does sending him and his chums to a good old golf course or a paintball fight sound?" Piers was grinning on the other end of the line.
"One induces chronic boredom and the other one can cause someone a lot of pain – it's genuinely fun and a good tactical game. Been known to sometimes make or break relationships and friendships," Dudley quickly explained to Dudley. "Golf is usually a game for uppity posh toffs though."
"That does sound fitting," Neville admitted. "But I like the sound of the paintball fight better."
"Ah the vindictive option! I like it!" Piers chuckled. "Fortunately, Nev, I know a good place. I will arrange it – my uncle's mate owns it. Should be easy to arrange if I bribe my uncle with more cake."
"Bribe?" Neville repeated in shock.
"Not literally don't worry!" Dudley chuckled.
"Can you make sure there is a cake and a message for Lestrange?" Neville asked curiously as an idea suddenly struck him.
"Course! Leave it to me," Piers promised, already chuckling. "What kind of cake and what kind of message?"
#########################################################################
The plots are underway! Rodolphus will not know what hit him and Hogwarts is already bracing itself for mayhem! Stay tuned to find out how Corban and Avior's dates go!
You guys have no idea the months I have had. Losing my job again, being ill, deaths in the family, being ill again, deadlines … I am not even going to go into the hectic nonsense that has been going on. I am mentally exhausted. My entire schedule has been thrown completely out of whack … I am trying to get everything back into action but keeping the balls up in the air is a little bit difficult right now. Just bear with me a little longer.
I am very grateful for all of you – your patience and your wonderful comments. For those of you who are new, welcome and I hope you continue to enjoy my work!
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