Dark Truths, Operation Smuggle and Severus Snape Is Reminded Why He Doesn't Like Surprises
Molly Weasley had no problems admitting that there were times that she found her daily life monotonous while her children were away at school. She was used to their loud banter and had to resort to the radio and Arthur's enchanted CD player in order to drown out the silence before she went madder than her garden gnomes. A few days ago Molly had accidentally asked the ghoul to help her clean the house, mistaking the creature for Ron again for the twentieth time, and for not the first time, it had complied. The ghoul, on its own part, knew better than to refuse Molly; it really did not wish to get scolded again. Molly had therefore promised herself that she would get herself some semblance of human contact by visiting Fred and George at their shop that morning.
It would also give her an opportunity to buy some things for Remus to keep him occupied while he was still languishing around Grimmauld Place with only a grumpy house elf for company. It did not help that there were rumours that Nymphadora Tonks had been seen in Muggle London with Corban Yaxley, looking quite comfortable with each other. That had worsened Remus's mood.
However, much like any attempt in the past to put a halt to the scheming of her diabolical twins, Fred and George had put a stopper in her plans, as they had arrived at the Burrow a little just after Molly had finished all her housework for the day. Had she checked the clock, she would likely have anticipated their arrival. Indeed, the clock itself and the ghoul tried to point at the hands of Fred and George, which were moving from work to home, in order to alert her.
Alas, she did not look up from her work. But perhaps nothing could truly prepare her for what was to come …
The twins naturally could not resist Apparating into the house, right behind their mother and causing her to jump about five feet into the air.
"FOR THE LOVE OF – WHEN ARE YOU TWO GOING TO STOP DOING THAT?!"
Fred and George snickered like gremlins in perfect unison.
Molly scowled at them and put her hands indignantly on her hips. "What in the name of Merlin are the pair of you doing here? Should you not be at your shop?"
"Morning, Mum!" Fred stated jovially, eyes shining with a rather mellow mischief than normal. "We just thought-"
"-that we would pop in-"
"-and say hello!" he and George chorused. "So the house is still standing! Good to see!"
Molly grumbled incoherently at them and shook her head in disappointment at them both. "Do you not have something better to do than to give me a heart attack?" she scolded lightly and then sighed. "No matter," she went on before either Fred or George could answer. "I was planning on visiting you but since you are both here, would you like some tea and cake?"
The jovial and triumphant expressions on the faces of Fred and George were replaced in seconds by ones that looked far too solemn and serious for her liking. Seldom did her twins have an expression that told her that they meant business.
"I think it's best if we leave the cake for after," George answered her, without Fred's intervention.
Oh no. This was already bad news; the twins hardly ever asked for there to be a delay on cake. Indeed, it made Molly make a ghost look like a member of the living; she swallowed audibly.
"Very well," she managed to answer as she headed towards the kitchen as though she was on the way to her prison cell. "What tea would you boys like?"
"Something rather strong," Fred replied just as candidly as he and George followed her.
Molly nodded and did not press the matter further. She found herself shaking as she put water in the kettle and started to boil it on the stove. Whatever it was, she got the impression she might need to take a seat for it. Molly's trains of thought went from one dark thought to the other. Did something happen to Arthur? No … the Ministry would have already sent word if that was the case.
Had something happened to Harry? That would surprise her either considering the suicidal enterprise he was running! Had something happened to Ron, Ginny, Hermione and anyone else involved? Molly hoped to Merlin not!
It was only as she started to pour the tea that Molly dared to ask the dreaded question.
"Boys, what is going on? Has something … happened?" It was perhaps a miracle that Fred and George had heard her. Molly's tone had gone down to a barely audible whisper. She did not trust her hands to pick up the mugs so she levitated the tea mugs to the kitchen table.
The twins waited indeed for their mother to take a seat before they had deigned to give her any answers. Fred and George gripped the ears of their mugs like they were some kind of lifeline. They exchanged a look between them a couple of times before they looked at their mother in perfect sync.
It agitated Molly more than normal as she felt the stress in her escalate. "Out with it, both of you!" she ordered snappily, causing the broom and several of her cleaning rags to flinch and stop working for a moment, before they carried on with their duties.
Fred had noticed. "Easy, Mum. There is-"
"-no need to-"
"-scare the cleaning staff-"
"-we were about-"
"-to get to business."
Fred and George exchanged one more fortifying look before they chorused. "Mum, is it true that Uncle Fabian and Uncle Gideon assassinated Xander Mulciber?"
For a moment it was as though time had slowed for Molly. Her heart skipped a few beats, the broom and its colleagues started to speed up their cleaning process in order to be as far away from her as possible. Shock and anger washed over her within moments.
"What … what are you two talking about?" she hissed.
"You heard us the first time, Mum," Fred answered seriously. "Is it true that your brothers – our uncles – assassinated Xander Mulciber?"
"Fred, do not be ridiculous-"
"Oh you think it's ridiculous? Because I don't. Assassination is no joke, Mum."
"You watch your tone with me, George!"
Both twins at this point were glowering at their mother for positively the first time in their lives, opting not to do their usual shtick of I-am-not-George-I-am-Fred, which made the broom hide itself back in its cupboard. Molly's jaw was set; Fred's was set in almost the exact same way and neither of them was batting an eyelid.
"It is a very simple question, Mum!" Fred stated sharply. "Is it true? Yes, or no?"
Molly glared between them; her knuckles white with strained anger. "With whom have you been speaking to?" she demanded shrilly, her eyes pulsing with her magic. Her breaths started to turn very heavy indeed at this point. So much so that a fan decided to flap cold air into hair face.
"Speaking to? No one," George replied with faux innocence, which was soon replaced by a rather devilish smirk. "Now, writing on the other hand-"
"Who was it?!"
"The who doesn't matter, Mum," Fred responded in an eerily calm tone, staring his mother down. "What matters, is the truth. Are you going to answer our questions, or not?"
Molly was as red in the face as her hair was by this point. "What right do you have to demand answers from me, young man?! What right do you have to stick your nose where it does not belong!" she was positively vibrating with rage. "Questioning the integrity of your own uncles like that! The pair of you should feel ashamed."
"Yeah?" George sneered. "Well, forgive me Mum, but I would be a little bit more ashamed if I were to find out that our uncles behaved like a pair of Snakes-"
"How dare you?!"
Cracks started to appear in the windows. Steam was practically coming out of Molly's ears. "Fabian and Gideon were good and honourable! They did everything for the Order – for our family. They followed orders-"
"They were told to assassinate Mulciber Junior? You do know that doesn't make it better, in any case?" Fred could not help but jibe.
By now, Molly was redder than her hair with fury. "They had no orders – they found the Death Eater scum coming out of a theatre and decided to put an end to him before he could take yet another innocent life! They did the world a favour!" Molly snapped. "I will not tolerate the pair of you besmirching them any longer-"
"Why?" George sneered. "It sounds like to me they deserve every stain to their name."
"They killed him in cold blood," Fred added before Molly could explode even further; all the while her face was turning redder than her hair. "They didn't kill him in an honourable duel, did they, Mum? Or you would not be sitting here and looking at us as though we were accusing them of high treason. Let me guess: they killed Mulciber when his back was turned in a dark alleyway."
The chill in Fred's voice sent a shiver up the broom.
"Why do you care about the death of one Death Eater all of sudden?" Molly demanded, glaring between the twins.
"Because recently-"
"-we learned that-"
"-there are always-"
"-two sides in-"
"every war," Fred and George replied in dark anger. "And if you will not tell us the truth, we will find someone who will!"
"OUT!"
Fred and George started to dodge flying frying pans, books, shoes and spoons.
"OUT! BOTH OF YOU! AND DO NOT COME BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE APOLOGISED!"
"BLINKING HELL, MUM!" the twins cried out as they fled from the Burrow, slippers flying past their head. It was possibly safe to say that Fred and George almost ran as far as the Lovegood house in order to escape Molly's wrath; they only stopped once they were certain that they were fully out of slipper range. The pair were heaving and leaning against nearby trees, trying to recover their oxygen levels.
"Well," George huffed, "that went about well as Tulip suspected."
Fred scoffed. "I regret betting five Galleons now – she's going to be gloating insufferably!"
"But I am not surprised, though," George sighed. "I … suspected this might happen."
"Same. But I had hoped Mum wouldn't immediately resort to shouting," Fred hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We have to tell Ron and Harry though. We promised."
"Yeah. And we might want to avoid Mum and Dad for the coming week!"
"Week?! Try the entire year, Georgie!"
"You think we might need some anti-slipper security, Gred?"
"Wouldn't be a bad idea, Forge!"
Meanwhile at the Ministry, poor Arthur Weasley was nursing a humongous headache as he listened to his wife's shrill wailing regarding the insolence of their twin sons, while his colleagues all put Silencing Charms on their offices to stop Molly Weasley's voice from causing mini earthquakes in their own offices.
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To say that the Locket Horcrux was getting rather bored and impatient, would be a rather big understatement. Indeed, Nagini was forced to put up a lot of inane updates about what Tom was putting into his desk at all hours of the day. The Locket wasn't stupid enough to bully the ill-tempered man into entertaining him because the Horcrux really did not want to take the risk that he might end up in the owlery or the recently created falcon nest. So that meant that Nagini was the only one who was stuck with the Tom-Has-Written-Another-Blackmail-Letter story and Tom-Has-A-Hidden-NERF-Gun story.
Nagini would never say that she was impatient – patience was the one attribute that she knew she had. After all, it was extremely important regarding good hunting, having to deal with hatchlings and putting up with Tom as long as she had. If she had an ounce of impatience, Nagini knew she would have ended up as a pair of snake skin boots for Bella.
However, her 'brother' was really trying every ounce of patience the boa constrictor had. Especially since the Locket insisted on badgering that the-Living-Horcrux-Is-Left-Without-Supervision. It had all started to boil Nagini's scales just after lunchtime; unfortunately every attempt to close the Link had been thwarted up until this point.
*Have you got nothing better to do than to sound worse than Tom after someone steps on his cloak?!*
*No, sister, I literally have nothing better to do – because I have nothing to do! I am bored and you have promised to find a way to smuggle me out of this damn drawer, you useless purse!*
*You try being a sneaky snake around Tom! He smells a plot a mile off!* Nagini huffed as she distracted herself with drinking some water. *And we all know he locks you in and Nagini doubts Nagini can use magic to get you out!*
*Just leave the drawer to me – you find a way to sneak me out and get me to our dear little 'brother',* the Locket sniffed indignantly.
*If it was that easy Nagini would have plan by now!* Nagini retorted as she pretended to listen in on Thalia's discussion with Mr. Mupples and Bella on 'which fertility clinic looks less likely to kill witches and wizards'.
*You and Thalia have a diabolical mind each – use them!" the Locket replied snootily. *But I will not be sent to Hogwarts in that flying machine of Thalia's, I refuse! I am not suicidal.*
*Suicidal? You can't die! You are a soul in a locket!*
*Don't be pedantic with me, Nagini!*
*Just did.* Nagini blew her 'brother' a mental raspberry before forcing the Link shut and grumbling to herself in incoherent Parseltongue. What she didn't notice was that she was causing bubbles in her water as she did so, making Thalia, Mr. Mupples and Bella look at her oddly. Rodolphus, who had been quietly bristling in a corner, also looked up in concern.
"Nagini, everything all right?" he asked in genuine concern. "You sound troubled."
*Yes, you have your sour snake face on,* Thalia agreed. She then gasped dramatically. *Did Tom get a lemon smoothie from Rabastan this morning and then give it to you?*
Nagini huffed as she raised her head. This was one of those moments that she wished that the translator could be switched off for a moment. *Nagini just has a problem and Nagini doesn't know how to fix it.*
"Relatable," Rodolphus growled as he continued to glare at Mr. Mupples.
He was promptly splashed by Thalia for that comment, causing both Mr. Mupples and Bella to splutter a little with laughter. Thalia ignored all of them and turned to her best friend in concern. *Shall we go for a hunt and Nagini tells Thalia what the matter is?*
The boa constrictor allowed herself to smile a little. *Nagini isn't hungry, but Nagini thinks going for a walk is a good idea.*
*Then let's go! Bella, Mr. Mupples, Thalia will be back later! Rodolphus, stop being Mr. Mopey Cloak or Thalia will dub you the Energy Eater!*
Rodolphus glared at the banana-coloured ball python but didn't say anything as his wife and her plushie waved the two snakes off and got back down to business of researching fertility clinics. As soon as Nagini and Thalia were out of earshot of everyone, the mood turned a bit more serious. Well, as serious as Thalia could get.
*Tell your woes to Dr. Thalia, Nagini.*
Nagini tried not to giggle. It seemed that Thalia had been listening to Augustus and Rabastan read self-help guides and psychology books again. But her friend's light attitude did make it easy for Nagini to begin explaining the problem. *Locket Tom is being mopey again. He wants to visit Harry hatchling to keep an eye on him and wants Nagini to help him escape … but Nagini has no idea where to being!*
*Well, the first problem is getting Mopey McMopeLocket out of the drawer,* Thalia pointed out as guards jumped out of their way, bowing to them before continuing their patrols. *Which also involves making sure that Tom doesn't find out until he decides to open the drawer.*
*Exactly. And then getting Tommy to the Harry hatchling.*
*Oh but that isn't a problem, Nagini! We can ask Lilith or one of the falcons or we can throw Lord Mopeylocket into the fireplace.*
This made Nagini frown. *The fireplace?*
*Yes, the Foo Network,* Thalia clarified.
*Floo Network, Thalia,* Nagini corrected automatically but it made her light up. She had not considered the Floo Network. But then she frowned again. *But Thalia, how do we know Tommy will come through the correct fireplace if we do that?*
*Eeeeerm … good question. Thalia did not think about that.*
Nagini wanted to do a facepalm for the first time in a long while. Thalia pouted a little when she saw the slightly judgemental look in her best friend's face.
*We still have the owls and falcons!*
*Most of them only listen to the walkers and Nagini doesn't trust that the walkers in question won't start blabbing to Tom.*
Thalia nodded in agreement and frowned, pondering on another idea as they rounded a corner. Then, the banana ball python had an idea. *Ooooooo eureka! Thalia has the perfect idea – especially when we need walker help,* she grinned. *How about Nagini says Nagini wants to prank the Harry hatchling using the locket? No one would suspect it isn't one – after all, Nagini and Thalia have both been pranked.*
Nagini lit up at the suggestion. *That is genius, Thalia!*
*Thank yous. Now, let's get Lord Grumpy Locket out of that drawer.*
*But which sucker would be stupid enough to believe us, let alone help us?*
Thalia considered for a moment, turned her head and then had a rather creepy smirk on her serpentine face at this point. Nagini would call it adorable if she wasn't so terrified of her friend. Uh oh…
The sucker in question, was none other than Antonin Dolohov, who was heading straight for them. Nagini had been a little surprised as she had expected Thalia to go after Amycus. But then again, it was very likely that Amy would refuse because he did not trust Thalia for a single moment, for very good reason. Antonin was as chaotic as Thalia – he was very unlikely to ask any awkward questions until it was too late.
Antonin had been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and the Russian Death Muncher had no idea. He was heading towards his master's study to put a new battle plan for a raid on Voldemort's desk and ground to a halt when he realised just in time that he was about to step on his master's snakes.
"Shit! Thalia! Nagini! I am so sorry; I almost didn't see you!"
Thalia tried to look as angelic as possible. *No harm done, Antonin, but you might want to look out for snake traffic in the future. Where are you going in such a hurry?*
Nagini really wondered how Antonin did not hear the underlying plotting undertone in Thalia's faux sweet tone. Antonin grinned and held up his plans. "Well, I am hoping to make our Lord a little bit happier with this new raid plan. I am going to leave it on his desk so that he can have a look at it."
*You do realise that Lord Grumpy Cloak is out right now?*
"I do, which is why I am taking my chance," Antonin admitted easily, his cheeks flushing a little.
*Which is why you are a clever Antonin. Do not give the Mood Killer time to throw more tantrums,* Thalia continued to sing his praises. *Since you are going the same way as Nagini and Thalia, would you like to help us with something?*
"Oh?" Antonin raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "And what would that be?"
*Nagini wants to prank the Harry hatchling with something inside Lord Jellymort's desk,* Thalia informed him, causing Antonin to pale rather dangerously and Nagini suddenly felt like doing a facepalm herself. *Could you help us get it out?*
Antonin, rightfully, paled considerably at this point.
Fearing that Antonin might rightfully refuse to help, Nagini decided to turn up her own snake charm and to give the Russian her best version of the puppy snake face. *We would be in your debt,* Nagini bribed before she could stop herself.
That did make Antonin smirk. The Slytherin in him was not going to pass up on this golden opportunity. "I want an I-owe-you from both of you, and Thalia, you won't make jokes about my cloak for a whole week!"
*Does it still smell of gin, toffee and biscuits or has the gin been replaced with vodka?*
*Thalia!*
*OK, OK, all right, all right!* Thalia huffed. *I, Captain Thalia, promise not to make any jokes about Antonin's cloak for a whole week, no matter how much it may smell of vodka, toffee and biscuits. Happy?*
"Ecstatic!" Antonin answered, beaming unreservedly. "Come on, girls."
*Yes, it is time to commence the operation!* Thalia stated excitedly as she and Nagini followed the Russian. *Operation Smuggle!*
Nagini could hardly believe her luck. They had actually managed to get some walker help, and the best part was, there were no guards at the door of Tom's study when she, Thalia and Antonin got to his study. Whether they had gone for their lunch break or needed to go and do their business on the lavatory, Nagini could only guess. The important part was, Antonin didn't need to make up a bullshit story to get past the guards. Not that they needed one, with Antonin's new raid plan but still!
Quietly, Nagini knew this was not going to make Tom happy, especially later. She knew the guards were going to be receiving a good deal of Boglins and possibly a Cruciatus each for their transgression.
It seemed that Python Herself had blessed this prank because Antonin turned the handle of the study and it opened. It made Thalia snort with laughter.
*Tom forgot to lock the door! Maybe old age is getting to him?*
Antonin paused for a moment, the gears whirring in his head as he took in Thalia's mockery, before he entered the study of his master. The Russian made sure to close the door behind them firmly. He approached the desk, lay his raid plan in pride of place on the desk and then went behind the desk.
"OK, which drawer is it, girls?"
Nagini could very soon answer the question because the Locket started complaining in her head again. *You asked Antonin Dolohov for help?! Please tell me that this was not your idea, sister!*
Nagini shot back telepathically with, *there is just no pleasing you, is there, brother?*
The boa constrictor reared up and started booping the top drawer with her snoot. *This one, Antonin!*
Antonin first checked to see if a spell was needed to open the drawer by pulling on it. As expected, Voldemort had the drawer locked up extremely tightly. The Russian drew his wand and started to run a few spells on the drawer – Nagini and Thalia had no idea what spells they were but they made an educated guess that he was looking for any curses, hexes and jinxes Tom might have put on the drawer to deter snoopers.
*Thalia guesses you are not undoing Confetti Charms, Antonin.*
"You would be correct, Thalia … little more here … come on … Aaaaaaand voila!" Antonin grinned triumphantly before opening the drawer with a nonverbal Alohomora. The Russian cautiously peered in, blinked a few times in surprise when he lifted out the Locket.
Thalia did a little happy dance. *That is it! Well done, Antonin!*
Antonin remained speechless for a moment before he knocked himself back down to earth. "You want to send him Regulus Black's locket, as a prank…?"
*Yes! The Harry hatchling will never expect it,* Nagini responded quite quickly, putting on her best angelic snake look.
For a moment Antonin seemed to doubt if helping with Operation Smuggle was such a good idea. But he had already promised and he didn't fancy being relentlessly teased by Thalia for going back on his word. Antonin could practically hear his new nicknames already: the Death Coward, Integrity Eater – Thalia already had too much material.
"OK," Antonin got to his feet, pocketing the Locket. "I have a good box for the locket and some package paper. Let's go."
*Yeeees, Operation Smuggle is in the next stage!* Thalia was definitely enjoying this more than Nagini was.
Well, Nagini was enjoying herself, but she was enjoying the discomfort of the Locket even more.
*Did this inbred put me in his pocket?! From a desk to a bloody pocket – why does this cloak stink of sweets and alcohol?!*
*Sister, if you are laughing at me, I will find a way to make you suffer!*
*You do realise you are about to be put into a box and sent by owl?* Nagini could not resist teasing.
*I swear if our brother puts me in drawer, I will make sure he will be plagued by nightmares!*
*More than he already is? You're not very nice, Tommy.*
The Locket continued to grumble, complain and make empty threats all the way to Antonin's room. Thalia was humming happily and chatting to Antonin about raid ideas while Nagini blissfully listened to the sounds of the Horcrux threatening Antonin with making him relive the moment he watched a certain girl he liked kiss Rabastan.
Antonin listened dutifully to Thalia as he put the Locket into a box and wrapped in up with the utmost care and attention. He wrote a small note for the Boy-Who-Likely-Had-No-Idea-What-Was-About-To-Hit-Him and stuck it to the package. Then, together with the snakes, he went down to the owlery to bribe Lilith into taking the Locket to Hogwarts.
He lost a good few bribery snacks and almost one finger to Corban Yaxley's familiar but eventually she agreed to take the latest cursed gift to the Boy Wonder. Mostly, Antonin was happy Operation Smuggle went off without a hitch.
However, Nagini's prediction did come true, just not for the reason she thought. Voldemort came back to the Manor in an uppity mood and discovered several of his guards slacking off, treating the Manor to the delightful sounds of guards weeping at getting more Boglins and being forced to smack themselves in the face with porcelain plates using the Imperius Curse.
It seemed that Tom had gotten a little more creative with his torture methods. Honestly speaking, Nagini did not see that coming. His time with poor Ollivander seemed to have been well spent indeed.
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"Melpomene, I am really not sure that this is a good idea…"
*Why not? This forest is perfect! Lots of trees, lots of nature – not too many walkers. More importantly, there is lots and lots of space! That greenhouse was waaaaay too small.*
"Melpomene, it's called the Forbidden Forest for a reason!"
*And yet you hatchlings don't usually heed the warning anyway.*
"I haven't been in the Forest since first year!"
With every step he made, Neville felt as though his legs were about to give out in apprehension. Though he had faced Bellatrix and her fellow Death Munchers a few months ago and was now assisting in Harry's prank war, the Forbidden Forest still had the ability to scare the heebies out of Neville. His first year had done quite a number on him, and after what happened with Grawp and Umbridge, the Longbottom Heir quickly decided he would rather avoid causing a herd of centaurs to become upset. Avoiding the Acromantula clan that lived in there would also be best. However, all the perils that lurked within the trees was entirely lost on the Cobra Lily accompanying him.
# What are you afraid of? # Melpomene sang eerily. # You've got the jitters #
Neville for the first time felt himself truly grumble. "Yes, I have the jitters because you're suggesting I practise Druidry in the Dark Forest! If any of the teachers or the Prefects or the Head Boy and Girl find out about this, we are going to cost Gryffindor at least ten points. And then I will be forced to sleep in the corridor."
# Ooooo drama queen! #
"I am not a drama queen!" Neville protested.
*Then stop your whinging and whining, and let's start your practise – ah, here is perfect!* the Cobra Lily hissed happily as Neville came to a halt in a clearing with lots of trees and plenty of undergrowth.
Which also meant plenty of places for creatures to jump out of but Neville tried not to think about it. He simply huffed and put Melpomene down. "I don't like this, Mel … How do we even know Slughorn is right and I am more a Druid than a wizard?"
Melpomene's lily-petal hood flared at this and the Cobra Lily flared up. *You're only doubting yourself now! Your magic – it does not smell like a wizard's. It is not as overbearing. Not as sweet but still, natural. You are overthinking.*
She then spied vines around one of the nearby trees.
*We will start off small. Try moving those vines.*
Neville turned to look at the vines and swallowed. He put down his bag and then took out a few of the precious tomes that he somehow had managed to sneak past Madam Pince's nose. He re-read the passages before putting the books back and then commencing the process of grounding. Neville closed his eyes, attempting to establish a connection between his magic and the earth beneath his feet.
All the while, Melpomene watched eagerly. As did someone else.
Severus Snape had spied Neville going into the Forest with only Harry Potter's Cobra Lily for company, and while the sadist in him ached to take points from Gryffindor, he could easily admit that curiosity did kill the cat and the Head of Slytherin simply wanted to know what the always cowardly Longbottom Heir could be up to with only a singing Cobra Lily for company. Snape really did wonder what possessed Augustus Rookwood to send the blasted thing. True, it was better than the automaton nanny bird!
For a moment, Snape believed that Neville was practising some kind of odd form of meditation, until his eyes widened at seeing three vines on a tree begin to grow on their own and peal themselves off the bark off their tree. As for Neville, he could barely believe his very own eyes at the sight of the simple trick working.
Melpomene shook her petals in sheer delight. *Jolly well done, Neville! Keep going – oooo, Melpomene has an idea. Get the vines to make a simple pattern.*
Quietly, Neville thought it was a case of beginner's luck but he knew better than to question Melpomene and decided it was best to do as he was told. He had no idea how or what kind of pattern he would even make, but started with the basic control spells. Neville kept a simple pattern in mind – a triangle – as he coaxed the vines into making the shape.
First try, was a flop. The second, Neville managed to hold the vines for five seconds. The third attempt was already longer, which made Melpomene very happy and thus she encouraged Neville to try several other patterns and shapes – circles, squares, spirals. Though it did not seem like much, Snape had seen enough in his life to know what he was witnessing wasn't normal wizardry or witchcraft.
Snape would never admit it to another living soul but his eyes almost bugged out of his sockets as it slowly dawned on the Head of Slytherin that he was witnessing basic Druidic magic. Druidic magic! Snape did not like this one bit, but it would certainly explain why Longbottom was so painfully inept at certain Arts, especially potions. Druids and potions did not mix. Soon, Snape felt himself facing an internal conundrum.
It was exceedingly likely that Albus I-Have-No-Problem-With-Allowing-Chaos-To-Unfold-At-Hogwarts Dumbledore already knew about Longbottom's new found affinity to Druidic magic. The question that Snape was now telling himself was: should he or should he not inform the Boglin Lord – as Snape had subconsciously found himself calling Voldemort – of this latest development.
The double agent was losing himself to his thoughts to the point that he was no longer concentrating on Neville and Melpomene. Which was a shame, because the Cobra Lily was now insisting Neville try some of the spells to make plants grow faster.
Neville was unsure that was ready for those yet. "Melpomene, I think you're being a bit too ambitious…"
*You doubt too much, Neville!* the Cobra Lily scolded lightly. *Melpomene has faith in you – you are a very quick learner. The only one here who doubts you, is you! Silly Neville!*
"I am not being silly – OWWW, Melpomene!" Neville protested as he started to rub the back of his head after the Cobra Lily gave him a sharp whack with one of her roots before putting it back into the soil.
*Melpomene has to knock some sense into Neville!*
"No, you don't!"
*So Neville will stop being silly and stop doubting Neville? Good! Show Melpomene what you are made off!* the Cobra Lily smirked.
Neville sighed in exasperation and hung his head for a moment. He had not witty comeback for her, just more excuses. Or what Melpomene saw as excuses. The issue was, the Cobra Lily did have a point. He had helped Harry break into the Department of Mysteries not too long ago, and had put Jugson under a powerful Body Bind in order to save Luna …
"All right, Mel – what would you like me to grow?"
Melpomene tapped her snoot thoughtfully with one of her leaves, looking about her until she looked at herself and gave a cute, plotting grin on her face. *Melpomene has an idea! Neville can grow Melpomene!*
Neville – and Snape, who had started to concentrate in time to hear this, too – started to turn extremely pale at hearing this. "YOU?! But … But … what if I hurt you?!" Neville looked healthier than Peeves at this point. "If anything were to happen to you, Harry would have my arms and legs and would find a way to make me start farting rainbows or something!"
Rainbows would be the least of your concerns, Longbottom, Snape found himself thinking. Rainbows would have been the weapon of James Potter and his cronies, not his spawn.
As usual, Melpomene blew a raspberry and waved one of her leaves in an almost dismissive manner. *Oh please Neville, you are being a drama queen! You are not a fun target for Harry.*
"That doesn't make me feel better!" Neville huffed.
# Grow me! G-g-g-g-grow me! # Melpomene started to sing, shaking her petals. # Let us see what you're made of, Druid. #
For a moment, Neville seemed set on refusing again but he hated to admit that Melpomene's song was so catchy, it was changing his mind rather quickly. Snape was watching in anticipation as the Longbottom Heir picked up the correct book, studied the spell for a moment before setting it aside and crouching down, hands placed flat on the earth and his eyes closing.
Snape thought he had seen everything he could have in a life time – good and bad. What he didn't expect to see, was after blinking three times, a Cobra Lily that was suddenly the size of a Doberman. The problem was, it seemed that Longbottom did not have a handle on the control of Melpomene's size yet. Snape's eyes truly started to bug when second by second Melpomene grew bigger and bigger. Soon, she was the size of an African elephant, by which point the Head of Slytherin felt it necessary to intervene.
"Mr. Longbottom! I think that Cobra Lily is big enough, don't you?"
As one might have predicted, knowing Neville's history with the feared man, the sound of Snape's snappy drawl put the fear of Merlin into the sixteen-year-old boy. Neville's eyes shot open and he was on his feet in seconds, turning quite pale all the while. The novice Druid felt his knees began knocking together.
"P-P-P-Professor Snape," Neville greeted as best as he could. "I-I …"
"Just what do you think you are doing? I should take fifteen points away from Gryffindor for being out here-"
Snape did not get to continue his usual torture of Neville Longbottom as Melpomene rounded on the double agent. The giant Cobra Lily hissed angrily, shaking her petals. While at her usual size, it would be considered adorable, now Snape found himself swallowing nervously.
*HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT A DRUID'S PRACTISE?!*
Even her voice had gotten louder, echoing around the clearing and very likely to draw unwanted attention. Though centaurs and the like were a concern for Snape, he would be remiss indeed to dismiss the towering Cobra Lily presently in front of him, looking and sounding none too happy.
Snape attempted to conceal his nerves as he tried his best – and failing – to stare down Melpomene. "This Forest is out of bounds and unsafe-" he started, intent on lecturing the Cobra Lily but Melpomene was having none of it.
*INTERRUPTING A DRUIDIC RITE IS UNSAFE! IF THE FOREST IS SO DANGEROUS, WHY DID YOU FOLLOW?*
Quietly, Snape could not believe he was arguing with a plant. "Mr. Longbottom is breaking the rules-"
*HE IS DOING WHAT PROFESSOR SLUGHORN SUGGESTED! WOULD YOU PREFER IF HE USED THE GREENHOUSES WITH DANGEROUS PLANTS IN THEM? BECAUSE EITHER WAY, DANGER IS INVOLVED!*
The patience of Severus Snape was truly tested at this point. Neville could see it in his teacher's face – it was the same face that the Head of Slytherin pulled every single time someone explored a cauldron or melted one or cut an ingredient incorrectly. Something Neville had more enough experience with. However, unlike Neville, Melpomene held no fear for Snape whatsoever. In fact, she was just as annoyed as Snape was.
Melpomene shook her petal hood intimidatingly. *MAYBE IF YOU WERE LESS OF A MEANIE THE HATCHLINGS WOULD LISTEN TO YOU MORE! YOU ARE A POOR EXCUSE OF A NEST GUARDIAN AND YOU NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON!*
The flight and fight mode in Snape opted for the first time in a long while, for flight. Neville watched in awe and horror as Melpomene used her roots as legs to give chase to man whom Neville feared the most. Neville himself gave chase to the Cobra Lily.
"Mel! Melpomene! MELPOMENE! STOP!" Neville commanded desperately as he tried to slow the Cobra Lily down or shrink her.
Melpomene was not listening. *YOU WANTED A MONSTER? YOU HAVE A PLANT MONSTER NOW, MR. I DRESS ALL IN BLACK!*
She, with Neville in hot pursuit, chased Snape all the way back to Hogwarts. Snape had sent his Patronus to call – well, scream – for assistance. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn had answered the call, with varying degrees of alarm at seeing a gigantic Melpomene on the tail of their colleague with Neville Longbottom attempting to keep up. McGonagall was exhausted already, Flitwick nearly fainted, while Sprout and Slughorn looked excited and delighted.
"Well done, Mr. Longbottom – capital work!"
"It seems Horace was not exaggerating your talents, Mr. Longbottom! Ten points to Gryffindor-"
"Pomona, Horace – concentrate on the task at hand, please!"
It took a full hour to slow the rampaging Cobra Lily down, and a further half an hour to get her back to her usual size. By the time the chaos had died down, Snape had gone to rest with a pulsing migraine, Neville had been offered a pass from Slughorn to use areas of the Forest during the day to practise his Druidry and the whole school knew that Melpomene had scared Snape and nearly bested four of their best teachers.
##########################################################################
"So you're telling me this locket is a prank from Nagini?"
"OK – I am betting she sent you her lunch, General."
"I wonder how she managed to bribe Lilith to deliver it."
"Giving Lilith her lunch?"
"Considering the fact there is a handwritten note, Ronald, I will hazard a guess and say Nagini had human help!"
Harry and Team Prank did not expect the hour before dinner to be kneeling around Harry's bed, looking at the golden locket with an emerald S that was humming rather angrily, especially since the Boy-With-A-Hidden-Horcrux-In-His-Scar was deliberately ignoring the badgering pokes at his mental defences.
Tommy the Locket was not at all happy that he was being resisted.
"Do you think it has a funny curse on it?" Colin mused out loud, tilting his head to one side as he studied it.
"Considering the fact it's a locket from the Black family, it's likely," Dean answered.
"Or it's just an odd locket with the ability to poke into people's heads!" Harry huffed, shaking his head at the inanimate object. "I can feel you in here, you know!" he scolded it. "You are not being all that subtle at all!"
"Wait," Hermione frowned. "It's trying to get into your head?"
"I don't feel anything!" Ginny was paler than normal at this point. "Maybe it's already in my head?"
"Doubt it. If it is a Dark artefact, ya would have felt somethin' by now," Seamus argued.
"Question is, what do we do with the thing?" Ron wanted to know. "Because something tells me that wearing it would be a very bad idea."
"We leave it, for now," Harry decided before any of his friends could speak up. He headed towards his desk. "It could use a time out for being quite rude. Besides, I have a letter to write to Mulciber. Since Molly refused to give Fred and George a straight answer, maybe the Death Munchers are more forthcoming about their perspective of things."
The reminder of their mother's vitriolic reaction made both Ron and Ginny frown.
"I am surprised she didn't start throwing slippers immediately," Ginny felt herself confess. "It was her usual reaction when Bill and Charlie started asking questions about Uncle Gideon and Uncle Fabian."
Ron's teeth grinded together in irritation, which earned him a sharp jab in the ribs from Hermione.
"OWW! What was that for, woman?!"
"Don't do that! It's bad for your teeth!"
"Then just say that and don't resort to physical violence!"
No one seemed to notice that the Locket was humming quite angrily at the fact he was being ignored. Well, no one except Luna, who decided to pat the Horcrux soothingly in an attempt to calm its indignant ire. As for Harry, he finished quilling his letter to Balthazar Mulciber and headed off to the Owlery to find either Hedwig or Morpheus with Luna as company.
"You might want to apologise to Tommy when you get back to Gryffindor Tower," Luna informed him whimsically. "He was most putout that you ignored him."
"Tommy?" Harry repeated with a frown.
"The Locket," Luna clarified. "He is here to keep an eye on you."
Harry couldn't keep the grin off his face. A spy – how fun! "Why does he want to keep an eye on me? Grandpa asked him to?"
"No, Grandpa does not know he is here," Luna replied with a smile. "Yet."
The Boy-With-Too-Many-Suicidal-Tendencies was already cackling internally at this.
"I will speak with Tommy later," Harry promised. "He must have some rather fascinating stories to tell!"
Luna giggled at this. She then gasped. "Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot. Daddy wants me to let you know that there is a new edition of Lord Ponymort going to be featured in the next Quibbler. It seems your cousin has been having some fun of his own!"
"Well, I am glad Dudley finally learned how to be fun! I can't wait to read it."
When the pair got to the Owlery, they found Hedwig missing. Morpheus was dozing off as per usual but that didn't stop Harry from tying the letter to his owl and giving the psychic owl his instructions. As always, Morpheus confirmed all of his instructions with a sleepy "hoooooot" and flew out of the Owlery with his eyes closed.
Though nothing untoward occurred as usual on his journey, Morpheus was spotted by some rather confused RAF pilots out on a training exercise.
###########################################################################
That evening, Balthazar Mulciber tried to pretend that he did not exist. He had just managed to survive the first and second part of this meeting unscathed, and he was determined to make it until dinner. At the moment, it was quite the task to accomplish. It did not help that at the beginning of the meeting, someone had put whoopy cushions an almost every single chair – including Voldemort's – and now dinner time was slowly but surely approaching. Lord Voldemort was visibly hangry during the latest raid update, Bellatrix's excited babbling at perhaps finding a decent fertility clinic, Antonin and Lysander's incessant teasing of Avior regarding Alice for the umpteenth time and Thalia's latest set of jokes and puns. Balthazar could smell a new set of Boglins and the possibility of a Cruciatus from a mile off and he most certainly did not wish to be a target.
However, it seemed that others present were insistent on trying the notoriously short temper of his Lord.
"Tyler, I'm hungry!" little Sebastian did try to keep his voice down.
"Me too!" Izzy wasn't very good at whispering.
"Both of you, settle!" Fenrir snapped as he handed the plans he had been studying to Hannah next. "We will eat after the meeting."
"You said that two hours ago!" Phoebe moped.
"And you promised cookies but never gave them," added another of the younger wolves.
"They have a point there."
"Mikah!"
"What, Tyler? Fen did promise, and did not cough up! It's that simple!"
*Hey Nagini, what do you call a room full of well-fed walkers in front of little hungry werewolves?*
Oh no…
*I have no idea, Thalia!*
*A buffet!*
Balthazar pinched the bridge of his nose in despair and fought every inclination to laugh.
"No, Mr. Mupples, the kiddies are not in the right!" Bella huffed as her plushie started drawing on his Etch-A-Sketch again. "Mr. Mupples – do you want to be put on time out?!"
"Fucking finally," Rodolphus muttered under his breath in malicious glee.
Walden chuckled. "Nah, Thalia – the wolves wouldn't eat Amy or Alecto. They're far too bitter."
"Shut up, Walden!" the twins snarled.
As usual, they both left the goal open for Thalia, who could not resist an easy strike. *Yes, you are absolutely right about that, Walden. They would give the wolflings an upset stomach and we don't want that.*
"They might be more tolerable with some seasoning," Antonin grinned evilly.
*No, not even then, Antonin and you know that as well as Thalia does.*
Amycus and Alecto glared daggers at the banana-coloured ball python but did not dare to do much more as their Lord had his glowing red eyes set on them. All the while, the werewolves continued their bickering.
"Children, you will have to wait until the meeting is finished; we still have a few more items to get through," Hannah attempted to placate.
"But it's taking for-eeeever and even Lord Volde-mort is getting annoyed," Izzy pointed out candidly, once again showing sheer nerves of steel.
*Izzy, you should know by now that is his default setting!* Thalia could not help but point out.
Balthazar held his breath and stole a glimpse at his Lord. It seemed Tom had soft spot for the blunt little werewolf, because all he continued to do with glare at everyone and tap his long nails on the oak table with impatience while once again trying not to lose his temper with his most outspoken snake. It was safe to say that Balthazar himself felt like hexing the guards on his Lord's study for already putting their Lord into a foul mood with their utter laziness.
Before any kind of hex, curse or jinx could be thrown, suddenly the very familiar BBBRRRRIINNNNNGGGG! of the doorbell echoed around the room, instantly calling everyone in the Manor to attention. Or in the case of Lucius, Antonin and Walden, untold panic but for obviously different reasons.
"NOOOOOO! I THOUGHT THE BRAT WOULD GIVE US A BREAK! WHERE IS MY WHISKEY?!"
"NO ONE IS AT THE GATE!"
"WE DON'T KNOW WHICH COLOURS ARE OUT THERE!"
"Would the three of you please compose yourselves?!" Avior thundered, seeing the vein in Voldemort's head begin to pulse rather dangerously. At this point, Balthazar marvelled at how no one was on the floor screaming yet.
Fortunately the house sent the orb once again to Narcissa, who was fully conditioned at this point to compartmentalise her disgust for a later time, and simply addressed the Muggles standing at the gate with her usual aloof, aristocratic manner. Lucius, meanwhile, was already downing his first shot of whiskey. Everyone leaned in a little eagerly to see which vans had arrived, only to be confronted with Muggles on those strange two wheeled devices. Thanks to Augustus's magazines, the Death Munchers now recognised some of the contraptions.
Mopeds and motorbikes. That meant only one thing …
"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" the young werewolves chorused and howled in delight before the Muggles could even state their business.
"You have got to be shitting me…" Fenrir growled.
"How does the Potter boy always bloody know when there is a food emergency?" Mikah couldn't help laughing.
While everyone nursed their precious ears, Narcissa dealt with the Muggles. "Food delivery for House Malfoy, I am assuming?" she asked primly.
"Yes, ma'am!" came the dutiful chorus.
Narcissa waved her hand; the gates to the Manor opened and around twenty Muggles flooded onto the grounds of Malfoy Manor on their vehicles. Antonin, Walden, Rabastan and Augustus were gone in seconds to bring in the food while Narcissa summoned Nansi and ordered the elf to set the table. Nansi was done before even the bags were set on the table and the chorus from the werewolves started the moment the food was brought in.
"Hey! I smell fish!"
"Just fish? I think I smell octopus! I had that once."
"I smell crab!"
"That is still a fish."
"No it isn't, Seb it is a crustacean!"
*Well, open the bags and we'll get down to this fishy business.*
Thalia tittered at Nagini's first ever pun as the bags were unloaded and the boxes opened, revealing to everyone in the room, various different kinds of sushi. For once, it was Avior who was over the moon. "I see Potter finally has gotten some taste in the food he sends! How I have missed temaki! We have nigiri as well – and sashimi. Uramaki too!"
"Translation?" Corban sneered.
"They're different types of sushi," Lysander answered coolly. "Temaki are those cones. Nigiri are the rice topped with fish and the uramaki is the rice with seaweed and filling inside."
Thalia giggled even more as Corban started pulling a face. *It seems the dishes are not up to Corban's … scale!*
That sent a chorus of groans and snorts around the room. Balthazar saw Voldemort bury his face into a conjured pillow at this point. Unfortunately, Thalia wasn't finished.
*Hey, Nagini, which day do fish fear above all?*
*No idea, Thalia!*
*Fry-day!*
Balthazar almost snorted out his first uramaki – and he wasn't the only one. Voldemort looked set to weep into his temaki but Thalia, as always, had another one lined up.
*Antonin, do you know what the favourite food of a Kraken is?*
The Russian smirked. "I don't, Thalia. Why don't you tell me?"
Thalia smirked right back. *Fish and ships of course!*
That one got to the children, Mr. Mupples, Bella and Avior. Balthazar was pleased to announce he managed to swallow without choking that time from surprise laughter. Thalia moved onto her third target.
*Lysander, did you hear about the illiterate sailor?*
Lysander frowned in confusion. "No, I haven't?"
*Doesn't surprise Thalia. He was lost at C.*
A collective groan ensued once more at that one and once more it seemed that Voldemort wished he had a nose to pinch. "Thalia, I think that is enough fish puns for the rest of dinner!"
Thalia did not agree as she turned to Bella. *Bella, what do you get if you cross a jacket with an octopus?*
Voldemort put his head in his hands while Bellatrix blinked in bewilderment. Mr. Mupples drew a question mark onto his Etch-A-Sketch.
*A coat of arms!*
"Thalia!" this time the collective groan was very audible.
Thalia knew she was pushing it, but she had just one more funny up her scales that she needed to get out. One that she knew some of her friends would actually like. The ball python slithered up to Amycus as he was for once ignoring everyone and was tucking into scallop sashimi. Thalia giggled to herself, cleared her throat and then with as much drama as a Shakespearian actor reciting Hamlet, started her final joke. *Mr. Sashimi, you have been found gill-ty of second-degree loan sharking and first degree krilling. You will be executed by Amycus's very ill-cleaned jaws. Hopefully, you will make his breath bearable. May Cod have mercy on your soul.*
Amycus was as red as tomato with anger and embarrassment at this point while his friends and colleagues were attempting to not commit accidental suicide by choking on their sushi from laughing too loudly. For the first time in a long while, Amycus truly rounded on Thalia, invading her personal space.
"Why you insolent, little-"
"DUCK!"
For whatever reason, the Fates had decided to spare Amycus's life for now with the arrival of Morpheus. The owl had rocketed through the windows, which had been rather conveniently opened by Teddy Ruxpin, and the moment the meteor of feathers was spied, everyone ducked for cover. Well, they tried to, for Amycus had been too slow and thus had been whacked rather sharply on the back of the head as Morpheus descended down into the dining table. Fortunately, most of the food was removed from the owl's path.
"Oh for the love of Morgana!" Rodolphus thundered as everyone came back up. "First we have an all-you-can-eat buffet for cats and now this menace is back!"
Bella giggled at her husband. "Hey, at least Morpheus decided to knock some sense into Amy instead of you."
"Knock sense into Amy? That ship has long been eaten by the Kraken," Augustus teased.
Amycus sneered at him icily.
Balthazar ignored his friends, for Morpheus stole his attention by making a beeline directly for him. Everyone watched as the owl slowly but surely made his way to him, hooting softly all the while. Balthazar felt a ghost of a smile grace his countenance when the psychic owl came to a halt in front of him and held out his leg.
"For me, Morpheus?" Balthazar decided to double check.
"Hooooot…"
"Wonder what the Brat could want now," Travis sniffed.
"It's probably a letter requesting a review on dinner," Avior gauged.
Balthazar continued to ignore everyone around him, even the expectant gazes from Voldemort as he rather composedly opened the envelope, unfolded the letter and began to read.
Dear Mr. Mulciber,
Once more, I will colour myself surprised if you do not Incendio this letter immediately on its arrival. Mostly because it pertains – Hermione has been teaching me some rather fancy words lately – to a topic that you have already told me was a little sensitive. Well, more off limits sensitive. Your son, Xander, and particularly to the way in which … he died.
If you haven't burned the letter by now, I applaud your restraint. What we heard from multiple birds was that Xander was assassinated by Fabian and Gideon Prewett. Something that was not … made known to us. As you know, I have friends who are niece and nephews to Fabian and Gideon; two of them went to confront Molly about the actions the two took and well … our informants were chased out of the Burrow by flying slippers.
She did not give us a straight answer. I don't mind admitting to you that I have issues with that. Enough lies have been told – I would like to know your perspective on … what happened. After all, there are always two sides to every story, and I very much want to know yours and Xander's.
If you do not wish to reply, I will understand.
Harry Potter, Nuisance Extraordinaire
P.S. I hope that dinner was up to your taste. I know sushi is not for everyone. If you don't like it, feed it to the Death Kitties.
Balthazar took a moment or two to gather his thoughts on the letter. Indeed, he was very surprised that Team Prank had not let go of the apparent mystery they found in his son and even more so that they seemed to be questioning the Order of the Flaming Chicken's version of events. Or lack thereof, apparently.
"Well, Balthazar?" Voldemort prompted, tired of being patient. "What does the boy say?"
Balthazar swallowed for a moment before he raised his head. "It seems, my Lord, that the boy and his friends are still fascinated by Xander … and what happened to him."
That made everyone in the room sit up. Balthazar continued. "Molly Weasley's own children have confronted her about Gideon and Fabian's actions and unsurprisingly she has not given them a straight answer. Indeed, she resorted to throwing her shoes at them instead of providing them with said answer."
*She throws shoes at her own hatchlings?* Nagini could hardly believe her ears.
"That sounds accurate," Narcissa sneered.
*Sounds like she has some major anger issues,* Thalia shook her head in sheer disappointment.
Antonin had a rather vicious look on his face. "I say we tell the Prewett girl's spawn everything. Let them know exactly what kind of scum their uncles really were!" he snarled. "Xander was Unmarked but did that matter to them? Nooooo!"
"Oh yes. Because I am sure that they will take your word for it," Corban stated coldly. "You who were responsible for killing the Prewett boys."
"Antonin won't be the one to answer the letter. I will," Balthazar frowned. "After all, the Potter boy wrote to me and Xander was my son, Corban!"
Without so much as waiting to be dismissed by Voldemort, he stood up, picked up a snoozing Morpheus – just in time too, because Teddy Ruxpin had been set to get himself flung across the table again by poking the owl – and carrying said owl out of the room and heading for his chambers. Balthazar reckoned he would have to deal with the consequences later, but on this occasion, he decided they were indeed worth it.
A melancholy atmosphere descended down onto the room. Voldemort was vibrating with jealousy and irritation while Antonin was glaring at his plate and food as though it had decided to take a dump in his shoes. Everyone else found themselves thinking of Xander. Well, almost everyone.
"So, Father, when are you introducing me to Alice?"
"Lysander, not the time!"
Naturally, Amycus could not resist making an ill-timed comment. "You really do know when to pick your moments, do you not, Lysander?" he sneered sarcastically.
None told him to shut up or called him Amy this time. They did not need to, for Voldemort finally lost his temper and had cast a nonverbal Imperius on Amycus. The next thing everyone knew, Amy went with a ga-ga expression to the window and had walked right through the open window – and fell down straight into the prickly rose bush below. The rest of the Inner Circle took great delight in jeering at their colleague and laughing as Amycus ran rings around the garden, clutching his backside while screaming the Manor down.
###########################################################################
"So, Nev – this guy you hate who has his birthday at the end of the month. Do you want to incorporate into the idea?"
"I … I hadn't thought about that actually, Dudley. I would actually like to do that. Why?"
"Because, my man, we found something that he and his friends are very likely to hate, and Dud and the guys and myself have been wanting to do it for a while," Piers answered excitedly.
Neville's ears admittedly pricked up at this. He had been on the phone to Dudley and Piers for a good half an hour after dinner, brainstorming ideas for Rodolphus's "surprise birthday bonanza", while he was studying some old Druidic runes that could be used to shrink plants. Considering what had happened with Melpomene that day, he thought that would be useful to study!
"Are we talking haunted golf?" Neville guessed. He had rather liked the idea of sending Rodolphus, Rabastan, Bellatrix, Voldemort and the rest of the Death Munchers out in the October cold on a golf course.
"Something even better," Piers reassured giddily. "Paintballing in a haunted house location! Dud has been looking into it for a bit and it would be like killing two birds with one stone. You get your payback, and we also get in on the fun!"
Neville smirked. "That is the game where people shoot each other with balls that have paint inside them and hurt, right?"
"Yep!" Dudley confirmed happily. "There is an awesome new course coming at this place the guys and I go to for paintballing, specially made for Halloween. Considering Grandpa and his friends have issues with anything normal, they should absolutely despise it!"
The smirk on Neville's face took on a slightly darker element, making a few of the Gryffindors who saw it gulp. "That sounds absolutely perfect!"
"Good! You want us to also buy him an awful present? Or arrange for another bouncy castle?"
"I don't want to be repetitive with the bouncy castle. Besides, I think the outing is present enough," Neville stated coolly. "Rodolphus doesn't deserve two presents."
"Fair enough."
"Damn. What did the guy do to offend you? Kill your cat?"
Neither Dudley nor Neville answered Piers's question, simply deciding to move on to the topic of video games in order to make sure that Piers forgot about the awkward silence entirely.
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I am back! Yes, I am alive. I know it has been 1000 years since I last updated and I am annoyed myself at that but I have had deadlines to meet and I have had some financial issues that I needed to sort out. I am also willing to admit that my mental health issues had caused multiple complications. I am just glad I have time to write now and get back into the groove of my stories. I want to thank all of you once again for your patience and enjoying my work.
For those of you who really want the fortune cookies, fret not – they will be coming in the near future. Keep sending me your diabolical ideas; I love them!
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