Chapter 2
Angel and Devil
I love you too. Sleep well.
"Lily! The supper is ready!" Lily's mother shouted from downstairs. "I've been calling you for fifteen minutes!"
"I'm coming, Mum!"
Lily closed the notebook and put it in the drawer of her desk. She was disappointed that she wouldn't see Severus tomorrow, but quickly discarded these egoistical thoughts and focused instead on how to help her boyfriend. She was afraid that Severus' punishment for being late was something more serious than his father forbidding the son to meet with his girlfriend.
Lily came down to the kitchen where her parents and sister were waiting for her. She sat down in her usual spot and smiled when she saw spaghetti, one of her favourite meals, on her plate.
"Finally, I'm starving," said Petunia reproachfully and started eating.
"I'm sorry, I was waiting for Severus' reply," her family knew about the magical notebooks. "He ran so suddenly to his house and I wanted to be sure that he's okay."
"Is he?" asked her father.
"I think so. But he won't be able to meet me tomorrow."
"Shame. I thought we could go together to the swimming pool," said Petunia. Despite their initial antipathy, Petunia and Severus eventually had become friends, in no small part thanks to Lily's continuous efforts to make them see good traits in another person and be nice to each other.
"I was hoping for that, too. Maybe another time," said Lily and began eating.
"I have great news," announced Petunia after a while. "I've broken up with Vernon."
"Wonderful!" exclaimed Lily. "I don't know how you could stand that fat git."
Neither of her parents admonished her for this offensive expression. None in their family liked Vernon Dursley and they didn't hide it.
"He was nice in the beginning. And I guess I was a little desperate to have a boyfriend so I was satisfied with anyone. But he became possessive and egoistic and I understood that he was not a good match for me and that I didn't love him. I decided that I would be better off without him."
"How did he react?" asked their father with concern. Everybody knew that Vernon didn't like when something wasn't going on as he planned and also had problems with controlling his anger.
"He was shocked and tried to persuade me to change my mind. But then he started shouting that I was not worthy of him, that I'd regret leaving him and that he'd never loved me. I left without giving him a second glance," said Petunia proudly.
"Serves him right," replied Lily. "And don't let his words bother you. He's the one not worthy of you. And you're worthy of someone much better than that stupid pig."
"Thanks, Lily," Petunia smiled, happy that her younger sister was standing in her defence.
"I'm glad you've broken up with that boy," said their mother. "I never liked Vernon. He was vain and selfish. And he ate so much and never praised my cooking." Everyone laughed at that statement.
After supper, Lily and Petunia washed dishes. When everything was nicely kept in cupboards, the older girl went upstairs to her room and Lily went to a living room where her parents were watching TV. She was a little nervous but decided not to postpone her conversation with her parents about Severus.
"Mum, Dad, I have to talk with you," she announced.
"About what?" asked her father while her mother switched off the television.
"About Severus," said Lily seriously and sat down in an armchair opposite her parents who exchanged knowing looks.
"Lily, don't you think it's too early. You should wait until you're of age," began her mother.
Lily looked at her, confused. What was she talking about?
"That's very responsible step," added her father. "You both have to be absolutely sure."
"Wait," Lily interrupted them. "What are you talking about?" But before her parents answered her, she said, "Actually, it doesn't matter now. I want to talk with you about Severus because I think he's abused by his father."
Her mother and father looked at her with shock written all over their faces. It clearly wasn't what they had been expecting.
"Abused? Why do you think so?" asked her mother.
"Since we returned from school, he has been behaving strangely. He doesn't want to hug or kiss me anymore, he keeps his distance from me, is easily startled and today even flinched when I touched him. And I know his father beats him, Severus said so today."
"Forgive me, Lily, but it's nothing new. We've known that Tobias Snape sometimes hits Severus since you first met," said Lily's father.
"Yes, I realise that, but this time it's different," insisted Lily. "When we were younger Severus often reacted in the way I described a moment ago. However, when we went to Hogwarts he changed. He was less afraid of other people, he behaved almost normally. But now it all came back. Something must have happened earlier this summer. Something far worse than simple beating. And it is still happening. I see that Severus isn't himself. I'm afraid it's something terrible. He wouldn't react so badly to beating."
At the end of her speech, Lily had tears in her eyes.
"And when his mother lived, at least he had someone to defend him and heal him after his father's punishments. But now, he's alone, has no one to help him."
"Lily, darling, calm down," said her mother and sat next to her. "We'll try to help Severus, I promise."
"Thank you," smiled Lily through tears. "But what can we do? Should we notify the police?"
"I doubt the police will want to help us at this moment," said Lily's father, frowning. "They need more proofs to start an investigation. They'll consider your suspicions too weak to warrant an interrogation of Tobias Snape."
"But we have to do something!" said Lily with desperation.
"Maybe we should turn to social work first," suggested her mother. "They need fewer proofs to start working on a case and if their suspicions are strong, they are able to get the police involved. But they have no authority to enter a house without an owner's permission, so Severus' father may just deny everything and not let them in."
"He probably will," said Lily.
"Then, we'll try with the police," replied her father. "And you have to gather more proofs, Lily, try to persuade Severus to tell you more about his situation at home. Of course, the easiest way is if Severus goes with us to the police or social work and tells them everything himself."
"That's impossible," said Lily. "Severus is too proud to admit to a stranger that he's abused by his own father. He doesn't even want to talk with me about it and he trusts me."
"But he talked with you today, didn't he?"
"He only said that his father had hit him the day before and that it was nothing special. It will be difficult to coax him into telling me something more."
"You have to try," said her mother. "And we'll go tomorrow to social work. Trust me, Lily, we'll do everything we can to help Severus."
"Thanks, Mum, Dad. I was afraid you wouldn't believe me or brush it off as nothing."
"We would never do that, sweetheart. You know Severus better than us and if you say that something's wrong, then we trust you. We care about him as much as you do. He's almost as a son."
Lily's father nodded, agreeing with his wife's statement.
"I love you," said Lily and kissed both her parents on cheeks.
"Go to bed, Lily," said her father with a smile. "And don't worry. Everything will be fine."
Lily bade her parents goodnight and went upstairs to her bedroom. She was grateful that her parents were willing to help Severus, and for their kind words about her boyfriend. She knew that they liked him but she had never suspected that they cared about him as if he was their own child. As she lay down on a bed, she remembered her father's words that everything would be fine. She wanted to share in his optimism but found it very difficult to do. She had a sinking feeling that if they didn't act quickly, something terrible would occur.
Severus walked quickly through the town, heading to the Evans' house. Earlier that day, he had received a message from Lily in which she informed him that his O.W.L. results had arrived and invited him to a dinner. Without much hope, he had asked his father if he could go and to his surprise, Tobias had agreed. Severus suspected that the only reason his father let him meet with Lily was fear that if he kept his son at home all the time, it would raise suspicions.
Bruises and wounds from a beating he received a few days ago still hurt but Severus was determined to not let Lily and her family see that something was wrong. He would just grit his teeth and not make any indications that he was in pain. He was good at it after years of practice in hiding his emotions and feelings.
He approached a small house with a well-maintained garden full of beautiful flowers and rang a bell. After a few seconds Petunia opened the door.
"Hello, Severus," she greeted him with a smile and let him in. "You're a bit early, the dinner isn't ready yet but Lily is waiting for you in her room."
"Hello, Petunia. I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"
"Excellent! I've broken up with Vernon!"
"Really? Considering your good humour I guess you haven't cried over it." Severus had met Vernon Dursley only once and the other boy hadn't left a good impression on him.
"Not a single tear," said Petunia happily. "I can't understand now why I waited so long to end that relationship. I'm far happier without him."
"That's great. He wasn't the man for you. You deserve someone better."
"I hope to find him soon. Go to Lily's room, she's waiting for you. I'll help Mum with the dinner, it'll be ready in about fifteen minutes," the older Evans sister said and went to the kitchen.
Severus took off his tattered shoes, trying to squash down feelings of shame and envy when he saw the new and well-kept shoes of the Evans family. He had only this one pair of shoes and although he cared for it and kept it clean, there wasn't much he could do to repair a peeled sole or threadbare material, especially without magic. The boy placed his shoes behind a cupboard, to keep them out of sight, and felt a rush of anger at his father who preferred spending his money on alcohol rather than buying his child some decent clothes and shoes.
Severus went upstairs and before he reached Lily's room, he met Mr Evans in a hallway. He liked Lily's father who was always nice and kind and didn't judge him on his background and poverty. What's more, Richard Evans never pitied him, a trait that gladdened the boy tremendously. Above all, Severus hated pity.
"Good afternoon, sir," Severus greeted the older man.
"Hello, Severus. Nice to see you. How are you?"
"Fine. Thank you, sir," lied Severus.
Mr Evans nodded but said nothing and Severus noticed that instead of his usual smile, there were sadness and concern on his face. Before he could wonder what had caused them, Lily opened her bedroom's door.
"Hi, Sev," she greeted him merrily. "Come in quickly. I cannot wait to see what marks you've got."
"Lily, that's Severus' results, not yours," Mr Evans admonished his daughter.
But Severus only laughed and went to his girlfriend's room. When Lily wanted to close the door, her father stopped her.
"Leave the door open, Lily. We talked about it," he reminded her.
"Yes, Dad," said Lily with a scowl.
With a last warning glance, her father went downstairs.
"Does your father think that we will-" started Severus, sitting on her bed.
"Yes, he thinks we will have sex," Lily admitted and sat next to him, leaving the door wide open. "Silly, really."
Severus blushed and looked down at his hands. So Lily thought that idea of having sex with him was silly. He knew that he wasn't attractive but thought that it didn't matter to her and they would make love in the future. That's what partners did, right? Apparently, he was wrong.
"Oh, Sev, I didn't mean it like that," Lily said hastily as if reading in his mind. "I mean my dad's idea that we'll have sex if I close the door is silly. I wouldn't do that, not in a house full of other people."
Severus looked at her and smiled. She was right, he wouldn't do that either. But he couldn't understand how his sweet Lily was able to speak about sex so freely. He was always uncomfortable when people, especially his friends from dormitory, were talking about their sex lives. But she was his girlfriend, it was normal that they were discussing these things and yet, he still blushed and couldn't mutter a word.
"I cannot wait till we're of age and can do whatever we want," continued Lily.
"Only six months left," said Severus.
"Yeah, but we'll be in Hogwarts then and it will be even more difficult to find a private place than here," she paused then came closer to him, took his hand and looked him in the eyes. Severus managed to suppress a flinch, reminding himself that this was Lily and she's not going to hurt him. "We don't have to wait till we're seventeen, Sev. We can do it now."
"Now? But you just said-"
"Not right now. But this summer. When my parents and Petunia are out or in our secret spot. I think I'm ready. I often fantasize about you, about us when I'm alone. You know what I mean?"
Severus nodded. He knew perfectly well what she meant because he did the same thing on a regular basis.
"Do you also fantasise about me, Severus? I know you please yourself, every young man does it."
"I do. I always dream about you," he admitted shyly. Lily was now whispering in his ear and Severus felt uncomfortable tightness in his pants.
"Don't you want to try it for real? I don't want to wait anymore. I'm ready. Are you, Sev?"
She kissed him hungrily, licking his lips with her tongue. Severus opened his mouth and their tongues met. For a short moment, he forgot about his hellish home life and drowned entirely in the ocean of peace and happiness. His whole world consisted only of Lily and him. But when he felt Lily's hands beneath his shirt he momentarily tensed and quickly broke the kiss, pushing her away.
He looked at her and his heart broke when he saw hurt and confusion on her face. Unable to look at his girlfriend, he said quietly,
"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm not ready. Not yet. I really want to try in the near future but I-" he didn't know what else to say. He was so scared. He wasn't sure if he ever would be ready. But if he didn't, Lily would leave him and that terrified him even more.
"It's alright, Severus. We can wait. I'm sorry, I was too quick. We'll do it when you're ready. No hurry, no pressure, alright?"
She took his hand in hers again and stroked his long hair with the other. Severus dared to look at her and smiled timidly. She was his angel, full of compassion and understanding. He was so lucky to have her.
"Oh, I forgot about your O.W.L. results!" exclaimed Lily and Severus was glad that she changed the subject.
Lily retrieved a yellow envelope from a desk's drawer and handed it to Severus who opened it quickly. He wasn't very nervous about his marks, he knew that he did well in the subjects that mattered to him. He unfolded the paper and read:
ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS
Pass grades:
Outstanding (O)
Exceeds Expectations (E)
Acceptable (A)
Fail grades:
Poor (P)
Dreadful (D)
Troll (T)
SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE HAS ACHIEVED:
Ancient Runes: O
Arithmancy: O
Astronomy: E
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Charms: O
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O
Herbology: O
History of Magic: E
Potions: O
Transfiguration: E
Severus read through his marks twice and smiled happily. He was proud of his seven Outstandings, especially those in Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts. He never cared about History of Magic, it was extremely boring and he was surprised that he even managed to get an E. He liked Astronomy but he was not going to continue it, this subject was Lily's domain, not his. And he always had problems with Transfiguration, he didn't like the subject and its teacher and considering that the exam had taken place after the disastrous incident by the lake, Severus thought that he did extremely well.
"Sev?" asked Lily after a while. "How did you do?"
"Great," he answered and gave her his notes. "Take a look. May I see yours?"
"Yeah, sure," she handed him her results which were as good as his:
LILY CATHERINE EVANS HAS ACHIEVED:
Ancient Runes: O
Arithmancy: O
Astronomy: O
Care of Magical Creatures: E
Charms: O
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O
Herbology: O
History of Magic: E
Potions: O
Transfiguration: E
"Congratulations," said Severus. "I always knew you would get excellent marks."
"Thank you and congrats to you also, Sev. I think we could be proud of ourselves. So, what subjects are you going to continue? You still want to be a potioneer, don't you?"
"Yes, like my mother. Obviously, I'm continuing Potions, also Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, it is important for a potioneer to know properties of plants and animals and how they can be used in making potions. Arithmancy is important as well and Ancient Runes will allow me to read and study old textbooks. I'm also carrying on with Defence, it's essential to know how to defend yourself, especially during this unstable times and Charms because they are always useful."
"What about Transfiguration?"
"No, I don't think it's very useful in potions making. And I never saw a point in learning how to change an animal into a goblet or a turtle into a teapot. That's silly and useless. I grant you, there are some useful transfiguration charms but I can learn them myself if I need to. What about you, Lily?"
"Well, I still don't know what I want to do after school. I hesitate between becoming a potioneer, a healer or an astronomer. I'm definitely continuing Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defence and Transfiguration, they are obligatory if I want to enter a school for healers. I'm also carrying on with Astronomy and Arithmancy."
"Seven subjects, for both of us," concluded Severus. "I hope we'll have a lot of classes together."
"Me too," added his girlfriend and kissed him on a cheek.
"I'm sorry for interrupting but dinner is ready," said a voice from a doorway and when Severus turned he saw Petunia standing there with a smile on her face. "What marks have you achieved, Severus?"
"Seven O's and three E's."
"Congratulations. Come on, mum is waiting with a dinner. Lily and I also have made a cake to celebrate your success."
Three teenagers went downstairs to the kitchen where Mr and Mrs Evans were waiting with a delicious dinner. Severus greeted them politely and sat down at his usual spot.
"Severus passed his O.W.L.s as good as I did," announced Lily before her parents were able to ask. "And we're continuing a lot of subjects together."
"Congratulations, Severus," said Mr Evans. "I always knew you would do well."
"We're so proud. Of both of you," added Mrs Evans.
Severus blushed and shyly thanked Lily's parents for their kind words. He never could comprehend why they had accepted a poor, awkward child, first as their daughter's best friend and then her boyfriend, but he would always be immensely grateful that they had welcomed him to their family and often wished that they had been his parents.
The dinner was excellent, especially for Severus who hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. His father, as usual, had preferred to spend money on alcohol rather than food. The Evans family and Severus spent a lovely afternoon, discussing many things, among which were Severus' and Lily's plans for the future and Petunia's break-up with Vernon. However, Severus noticed that Mr and Mrs Evans were observing him more closely than usual with concerned faces and were exchanging sometimes meaningful glances. He did everything in his power to hide any grimaces of pain he felt when sitting down or shifting in his chair. Although he tried really hard, he wasn't sure if he succeeded completely.
At six o'clock Severus thanked for the dinner and cake and prepared to return home. As he was tying his shoes, Lily's mother asked,
"Severus, take some food with you. There's a lot left, we won't eat everything alone. You won't have to cook tomorrow."
"Thank you, ma'am but I have a dinner for tomorrow. I don't want it to waste," Severus lied. He didn't have any food in the house, not to mention a dinner but he wasn't going to admit it. He also knew that his father wouldn't be happy if he brought food from other people.
"If you say so," replied Mrs Evans. "But don't hesitate to visit us whenever you want to. We're always happy to have you here."
"Thank you. I'll come as soon as I can. It's always a pleasure to meet you," he addressed the whole Evans family. "Thank you for today. Everything was delicious."
"Bye, Sev. I'll miss you. Write to me when you're home," Lily kissed him lightly on a cheek, not daring to kiss him more passionately in front of her parents.
He embraced Lily and bade a goodnight to everyone then went home, feelings of fear and dread growing with every step he took.
A few days later, Severus was standing at the top of stairs and listening to his father's conversation with a social worker. The boy had ambivalent feelings about this unexpected visit. He was angry that someone, presumably Lily or her parents, discovered his secret and sent a social worker to his house. On the other hand, he felt relief that someone was willing to help him and maybe save him from the hell he was living in. But above all these feelings, he felt growing panic and terror because he knew how this visit would end and who his father would be blaming and punishing in a few minutes.
"What are you doing here?" Tobias Snape asked coldly a middle-aged lady standing at their front door.
"We got a notification that you may have some problems in your household and we want to know if that information is true and if you need any help," she answered politely.
"Who told you that?"
"I can't say, sir. That's confidential."
"Well, we don't need any help. We're perfectly fine. Now get out of here!" Tobias shouted angrily.
But the lady wasn't giving up so easily.
"You have a son, right? Severus?"
"Yeah, what about him? Has he done something wrong?"
"No, sir. We are worried that he is abused here." Severus cringed when he heard these words. Oh, the punishment would be terrible. He wanted to run but he had no way of escape.
"Abused? I'm not abusing my son!" protested his father. "I won't let anyone blacken me! Go away! Now! Before I call the police!"
And he slammed the door in front of the lady's face.
Severus closed his eyes and waited for an outbreak of his father's anger.
"BOY! COME HERE!" Severus had never heard his father so furious before.
He slowly descended the stairs, his heart beating madly in his chest. Tobias Snape grabbed his son by his long hair and shook him, screaming in his face.
"Who did you tell?" Droplets of spit landed on Severus' face. "Your red-haired whore, huh?"
"Don't call her that!" Severus objected and quickly regretted it.
"Right, if I call her a whore then how should I call you!?" Still holding him by his hair, Severus' father dragged the boy to the kitchen. "Freak! Whore! Oh, you're going to remember this lesson!"
The man threw Severus to the floor, pulling out some of his hair in the process. Severus shrieked and held a hand to a bald spot, trying to lessen the pain. Before he could recover and react, Tobias grabbed him by his clothes and slammed him face down on the table. His father put one hand firmly on his neck, to keep him in place, and roughly lowered his trousers and pants. Moments later Severus heard that Tobias unbuckled his own belt and unzipped his trousers.
"Please, father- don't-" Severus begged, tears streaming down his face. "Please, don't- no, no-"
"How dare you call me a father!" yelled Tobias, kicking Severus in legs, spreading them apart. "You freaking, worthless bastard! You're good for only one thing!"
"No, please- no, no- no!"
Without a warning, Tobias Snape thrust his penis into his son. Severus shrieked horribly and tried to escape but his father tightened the grip on his neck, nearly suffocating him. Tobias was slamming into his son more violently and deeper with each thrust, bruising Severus' hips and abdomen in the process. Severus screamed and begged his father to stop but soon he lost strength and could only sob and occasionally emit a hoarse scream. At one moment, he felt something tearing inside him and blood leaking down his thighs. Tobias took his time in raping his son, trying to prolong the act as much as he can. Finally, he came inside Severus and took his member out, which caused the boy to yell in pain. Severus collapsed to the floor, unable to move, sobs shaking his thin frame.
"That'll teach you to keep your filthy mouth shut!" Tobias kicked his son in the face. Severus felt his nose breaking and blood flooding his face.
"Go upstairs to your room!" his father ordered mercilessly. "I'll be back soon with my friends. It's time to make some use of you."
Before Tobias left the kitchen, he gave another kick, this time to Severus' left side. The blow was so powerful that Severus almost fainted. He hardly heard his father leaving the house. Through pain and exhaustion, only one thought reached his mind: he had to leave, had to escape before his father returned with more men to rape him.
Severus tried to get up but was unable to. Something was wrong. He was hurting all over, his backside was in agony but the pain never stopped him from achieving his goal. He was feeling lightheaded and extremely exhausted as if he was going to faint in a moment. He knew that he was bleeding, from his nose and rectum, but blood loss surely wasn't so bad to make him feel this way. He desperately tried to stay conscious and crawl towards the front door but when he moved his arm, suddenly everything went black and Severus collapsed lifelessly on the floor.