Crumbling to dust.
-ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp-
For the first time in over a month, Inaba was quiet again.
Naoto had not heard from Mitsuru or any of the Shadow Operatives since the altercation, but something had happened that had everyone scrambling to contact the Velvet Room. Marie, never one for subtlety, had melodramatically thrown herself at Yu declaring that he was humanity's last hope and she had unwavering faith in him because he was handsome. What Dojima had thought of this...who could say. Once she had finally calmed down, Marie was able to explain that all the negative repressed feelings of the Shadow Operatives had coalesced into what Kanji had helpfully christened a "Doom Cloud", and Naoto could not help but refer to it as such even in her thoughts.
"You mean…their Personas just left them?" Chie tried to process. The team had hastily gathered at Junes with very little idea of what was happening, but fully invested all the same, since Labrys had left the Amagi Inn in great distress that morning. Disaster aside, it was nice to see that the team had fully accepted her as one of their own, in spite of both being a robot and unwittingly used for destruction a la Namatame.
Yukiko was supposed to be glaring at Marie in Rise's stead, but was too worried to keep up appearances. "Could that happen to ours?"
"I dunno." Their official source for this serious business didn't seem to be taking the business all that seriously. "Do you still feel like you did before you got your Persona?"
"No!" Kanji immediately declared. "Course not." Quietly, he added, "Not totally."
Naoto helped him save face. "We've all come to understand ourselves much better over the past year. Each of us have vowed to express our feelings instead of bottling them up, and should we fail, our friends will pick us up and remind us of our shared truths."
"I don't think the Shadow Operatives are friends anymore," Yosuke pointed out.
"Yeah, major issues going on there." Marie had a notebook in her hands that she had been furiously scribbling in during their conversation. "Liz and Theo went bonkers, too – something about doors and the moon...I don't know what they were going on about." She sighed. "The Nose is missing, Margaret just sits there shuffling her cards all day going, 'I see...most troubling...', and there's fog in Inaba again. There's just way too much pathos – even for ME!"
Yu had been characteristically silent, a pensive look on his face. Naoto had hoped he would have some kind of insight as to what was going on, having been told about Personas and bonds directly from the source. But what he said next was:
"I guess we'll have to take out Adachi by ourselves, then. Hmm. Just like old times, huh?"
That was rather cold. Though they'd been unwittingly pitted against one another during the tournament, the Shadow Operatives had quickly grown to be valuable allies and friends of theirs. This was a serious problem, and one they might need help solving.
"But, this Doom Cloud..." Kanji was thinking along the same lines.
"Is that really what we're calling it now?" grumbled Marie.
Yu shook his head. "Adachi knows more than what he's letting on. We might have to beat it out of him, but I'm sure he's the key to this mystery." Kanji looked skeptical, so he added, "You can't punch a cloud, Kanji."
"What about the Shadow Operatives?" asked Yukiko.
Naoto had been thinking about this herself. "If they don't have Personas," she mused, "I'm not sure it's still possible to get them in and out of the TV World." Predictably, Yosuke paled at this. Naoto thought she was the only one to notice until she saw Chie shift uncomfortably.
"So, we go beat the shit out of Adachi until he tells us something," said Kanji, "but he's not gonna fight us until we get the magic word, remember?"
"This is true." Adachi was slavishly devoted to his "game", and they were always forced to play along in order to get anywhere with him. The only reason he covertly helped them out during the tournament was because he felt Minazuki had been cheating, and he wanted to level the playing field.
As if he'd read her mind, Yu continued. "There's also Minazuki. He's the one who sprung Adachi, and he had a reason why. What was it?"
"Other than he's an ass?" replied Yosuke. "Adachi's an ass, too – and he's got a Persona."
"That's actually a good point, Yosuke-senpai. Remember that Minazuki appears to be unable to summon his Persona, if our theories are correct. He may have been looking for an ally who is able to traverse the TV World freely, since he is also unable to move in and out of the TV on his own."
"But Adachi kept saying the TV World was like that when he got there," Chie remembered, "If he didn't do it, and Minazuki didn't do it...who did?"
Who did, indeed. There didn't appear to be anyone else in there besides Adachi, and no more kidnappings had been reported since they'd rescued the children and confronted Tsukuda...
"OF COURSE!"
Everyone at the table leapt up in various degrees of alarm. Chie struck a Kung Fu pose, looking for assailants.
Teddie looked around nervously. "Nao-chan, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"
Kanji put down the chair he'd been holding and smiled at Naoto. "You just figured out somethin', didn't you?" he asked.
"Everyone, this is very important. I need you all to swear to me that you won't repeat any of what I am about to tell you."
"'Course!"
"I swear it!"
"Mm-hmm!"
"You have my word, Naoto."
"This bear's lips are zipped!" Teddie declared.
Yosuke couldn't help retorting, "That'd be the day. But seriously, Naoto, no one's gonna say a word to anyone about anything to do with Personas."
The team could always be counted on. Rise could be filled in later, but for now, that left…
Marie was still writing, but stopped when she realized everyone was staring at her. "What? Quit staring at me like that! You can't read these! They're my own personal pathos!"
"Marie," Yu was the only person able to tear Marie away from her poetry. "Promise us you won't reveal any of Naoto's classified information."
"Yeah, I'm gonna go tell all my tons of friends-"
"Marie..."
"OKAY, OKAY! I won't say a word! Sheesh! Stupidseriousheartthrobjerkwiththesoulfuleyes!"
Yu shrugged that right off. "Naoto?"
"The police have gone over the remains of the warehouse in Okina with a fine-toothed comb. One body was found in the rubble. Cause of death..." here Naoto looked specifically at Yu, who had been present that day, "smoke inhalation." She observed as he no doubt began to put the pieces together.
Yu did not disappoint. "Then that was..."
"A man named Yamamoto, whom Akihiko-san dispatched before we reached Dr. Tsukuda and Yuuta-kun."
"So where's Tsukuda?"
"An excellent question."
"What happened after we left?" asked Yosuke. "Did he get away?"
Yu shuddered. The cool-as-the-proverbial-cucumber, outwardly fearless Yu Narukami shuddered as he recalled the events that had unfolded. "He's dead. Mitsuru-san killed him."
Gasps rang through the group. "M-M-Mitchan?" Teddie's admiration of Mitsuru appeared to have taken a sharp decline.
"Damn..." added Kanji.
"Oh, that guy." Marie didn't seem at all surprised by the declaration or proclamation of death. "Yeah, he's the one that gave me the clicky thing. Kind of a jerk. Good riddance, I guess."
"I would hold that thought, Marie-san." Naoto tried to ignore the piercing stare of a Yu whose interest was piqued – in the case, not her! – and continued. "The corpse of Yamamoto was, as I said, the only corpse recovered from the wreckage. Dr. Tsukuda was never found."
Predictably, Yu protested, "But that's impossible!", just as she herself had when told. "He...she speared him with an icicle! Through the chest!"
"DAMN!" Kanji repeated, looking equal parts terrified and awed.
"Even if the fire melted the ice, he'd have a huge hole in his body. I know he was a doctor, but I don't think he could have patched himself up on the way out of a collapsing building!" This was the most rattled any of them had seen Yu since Nanako's kidnapping.
Yukiko gasped. "Unless...he was already dead?"
"Aah! Yukiko!" Chie squealed and swatted her friend's arm. "Don't even start that!"
"He was dead, though...except he wasn't." Yosuke tried to put the doctor's unique situation into words. "Then dead people started turning up dead...except the not-dead dead guy wasn't dead after all...then Mitsuru-san killed him...but he's still not dead. Yeah, I'm going with Yukiko on this one. He's like some vengeful spirit out of a movie. You can't kill this guy."
"So Dr. Jerkface isn't dead," said Marie, "Where is he, then?"
A moment passed, and everyone sans Naoto finally realized. "HE'S IN THE TV!"
"Holy shit!" added Kanji.
"So we're back to Minazuki," said Yu. "He needs Tsukuda to recall his Persona, and he needed Adachi to get Tsukuda into the TV World."
"Then...the doc's dungeon is a black hole?" wondered Chie.
"Assuming he's still alive," replied Yu. He chuckled ruefully. "Hmm. Adachi was telling the truth for once. Who'd have thought?" Then he realized something else. "Who else knows about this?"
"Most likely, Akihiko-san," said Naoto, "The Port Island police have received the same reports. I've left him and the others quite a few voicemails, but no one has gotten back to me."
"But this is beary important!" Teddie was deathly serious for once.
"If Dr. Tsukuda is an angry death spirit, he might decide to kill Mitsuru-san for killing him!" Yukiko added.
"YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT!" Chie yelled.
Yu shook his head. "There's nothing they can do at this point besides worry. We're the ones with Personas – it's up to us to track down Tsukuda and Minazuki and put a stop to whatever they've got planned. Hopefully, they'll know something about the missing Personas."
He had a valid point, as always. Perhaps informing Mitsuru about this at an already trying time would only upset her. It would be up to Akihiko to deal with the Shadow Operatives now.
Who knew silence could be deafening?
Caesar was definitely gone. Akihiko hadn't been alone in his head for years now, and his brain felt as if it were rattling around in there like the last, slightly dented gumball in a vending machine. Sobering up hadn't done a damn thing except give him a debilitating headache. He was tired without healing spells to rejuvenate him. But if Caesar's silence was deafening...Mitsuru's was complete sensory deprivation.
Mitsuru had completely shut down. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't get out of bed, wouldn't even speak to anyone, not even Kikuno. She'd gone into hibernation mode like she was another robot – which she might as well been, considering she was "made" by Ergo, too. Not even the threat of being hospitalized again got any emotion out of her. He supposed he couldn't blame her. Once the initial shock wore off, the others had gone back to their daily lives and left her alone. She hadn't been alone for nearly seven years. It was like backsliding into a person she no longer was.
Akihiko had spent three days sitting outside Mitsuru's bedroom door, waiting for her to speak to him, to no avail. He supposed he deserved most of that. Loudly wondering if she was still a virgin out in public was one of the dumbest things he'd done this decade. He'd ruined her friendship with Yukari before she had a chance to do it herself – and he still hadn't managed to tell her about Tsukuda!
Naoto had left a dozen voicemails and texts. They'd left so early the morning after that hardly anyone else was up. It was just too embarrassing to admit that the professional Shadow Response Unit had failed at something a bunch of teenagers easily did the year before. This was their damn job. Maybe he should have let her tell Mitsuru about Tsukuda. She was unemotional enough. If he hadn't insisted on being the one to break it to Mitsuru, she'd have known by now. Mitsuru probably wouldn't have executed someone smaller than her.
His phone went off again, and he'd finally decided to talk to Naoto when he realized it wasn't Naoto at all. It was Mitsuru!
...at least, that was Mitsuru's number. Kind of odd for her to be summoning everyone to her house, but it was also sort of SO headquarters. She no doubt wanted to address the future of the team since they had no real method of combating Shadows anymore.
Akihiko was let in by a maid and offered a protein shake as usual, but he didn't see Mitsuru anywhere, and was starting to wonder if he'd gotten the wrong idea. He really started to sweat when he was led to the sitting area outside of Mitsuru's bedroom. Uhh...what's going on? A few awkward minutes passed, and he got even more confused as first Yukari and Aigis and then Junpei and Ken showed up, all looking at one another with no clue what they were supposed to be doing. When Fuuka showed up, she nearly bolted when she saw the others, but stopped when a familiar face arrived.
"Ah," Kikuno approached them, "thank you, everyone."
"Kikuno, do you know anything about this?" The fact that she was civil to Akihiko made him think that Mitsuru hadn't said anything about their fight. "Mitsuru said something about-"
Then it hit him.
"She didn't say anything, did she?"
Kikuno held up Mitsuru's cell phone. "No. But she needs to."
"You took Senpai's phone?" Yukari shouldn't have been as shocked as she was. Kikuno tended to do what she decided was best for Mitsuru, sometimes without even consulting Mitsuru.
"In her present state, I could have taken her kidney and she wouldn't have noticed." As a maid, Kikuno wasn't actually supposed to fraternize with guests, but she took a seat anyway and even removed her little cap. She was the closest thing Mitsuru had to a mother in Iwatodai, and the worry showed in her face. "Tell me what happened. Lady Mitsuru has barely acknowledged my existence and the only words she's spoken since returning were, 'She's gone'. You must tell me what happened!"
It was almost comical how everyone looked to Akihiko to speak, even after taking each other's heads off just a few nights ago. Trouble was, he didn't know any more than they did. He might've had he answered Naoto at least once. Might as well just keep it simple, stupid. "We've lost our Personas."
"What?"
"Nobody knows what happened. We were arguing..." Yukari gave him a look, but he shook his head. There was no reason to lie to Kikuno, not about something like this. "We were fighting, and weren't paying attention to what was going on, and our Personas just...stormed out and slammed the door behind them."
"No kidding – I've had brain freezes that were less intense!" said Junpei.
Kikuno didn't have a Persona, but she knew how long Mitsuru'd had one, and it all began to make sense to her. "Oh, Milady..." She looked like she wanted to cry, but she forced herself to stand again, a true professional. "You must get her out of bed. I don't understand what has happened, but cowering in bed is not going to solve anything. There have been way too many calls from company executives and stockholders who aren't buying that Lady Mitsuru has gone on yet another vacation, and Public Safety has been infiltrating their ranks to spy on Kirijo. I mean no disrespect when I say that there are bigger things at stake!"
"She doesn't want to talk to me." Akihiko getting the silent treatment was nothing new, but Mitsuru slowly killing herself was. He supposed barging into her room would be worth getting execu-er, kicked in the stomach."Have you tried tickling her?" Junpei laughed at this for some reason, and Yukari yanked off his hat and smacked him with it.
"I've tried everything." Kikuno sighed, a habit she'd subconsciously picked up from her employer. "No wonder she feels so alone."
"It's weird, isn't it? Being alone with your thoughts again?" said Yukari. "I mean, I never thought I'd get used to it, but I kind of liked having someone else to talk to – even if she was pretty much me."
"I haven't thought about Shadows for a while now," Ken noted, "There's been soccer and exams and Student Council...I felt like a kid again!"
"As opposed to the ancient 14-year-old you are now?" laughed Akihiko.
Fuuka continued. "I'm not as tired as I used to be. Before, it was so easy to pick up on everyone's thoughts that it was like everyone was crowding me. Now I can concentrate more on school and cooking." She didn't seem to understand why everyone was cringing.
"I have concluded that this is what it means to be human," said Aigis. "Trivial concerns on a more personal scale."
"Well, you all have lives. That's what Mitsuru wanted for you – to live while you still had the chance." Akihiko had never really gotten that chance himself. Losing his parents and Miki so early took a huge chunk out of his life. What was there to live for? It was almost by accident that he discovered boxing and allowed it to give him a goal to strive towards. Having a Persona clued him into another reason to live: protecting others. He could now do so as a cop, thanks to his training. Having a Persona for a few years kind of felt like boot camp now. He'd graduated, and now he could settle into a nice life.
"It's funny," said Junpei in a rare introspective mood, "when I was just a normal teenager, I used to dream of being special. Then I found out I was special, and realized being special is harder than it looks." He smiled. "I think...I'm okay being normal."
"Our Junpei's growing up!" Yukari teased, wiping away imaginary tears.
"Aw, come on, Yuka-tan! That was my big character development, and you just pooh-poohed all over it." The moment was lost as everyone cracked up laughing at Junpei.
"...Normal?"
Miraculously, something had gotten Mitsuru out of bed – but she looked like death warmed over, nearly unrecognizable with her hair limp and tangled, and red-rimmed, flat, lifeless eyes. One stiff breeze could have blown her pale little body completely away. A sleepwalking desiccated leaf.
"Senpai!" gasped Fuuka.
"This is normal?"
"Mitsuru, it's okay." Akihiko immediately braced Mitsuru's swaying frame with his own and tried to reassure her. "I'm here. We're all here, okay?"
"She's not here." Mitsuru pulled away from him with whatever strength she had left and wrapped her own arms around herself. "She's gone, and I'm alone." She sobbed so violently that she shook. "You think this is 'normal'?"
"Oh, Senpai, we're all in the same boat-" Yukari tried to comfort her next.
Mitsuru shoved her away, too. "You're normal! I don't even know what 'normal' is!" Her pain was stronger than her will, and they were afraid she'd collapse. "You had a childhood. Playing outside, believing there was more good in the world than evil, only seeing a doctor when you were ill. I was eight years old the first time I saw my mother become a coffin during the Dark Hour. I can't remember a life without Personas, Shadows, Evokers...Shadows ARE my normal!" By some miracle, she finally sat – or more accurately, collapsed and there just so happened to be a sofa underneath her. "Imagine losing an arm. Everything becomes impossible...knowing that you aren't the same. Now imagine by some twist of fate that you were the only two-armed creature in a sea of single-armed people...everyone telling you, 'but this is wonderful! Now you are normal!' But I've never been 'normal'! I've lost an arm, and if this is 'normal', then I don't want it!"
Akihiko wanted to scoop her up and hug her, but he was afraid he'd crush her into dust. Mitsuru had tied all her importance and self-worth to having a Persona. It wasn't hard to imagine why; her fucking grandfather valued the fruits of his research above all else. His disappointment at her being a girl was only lessened when she proved she had power. She only saw her father when it was time to talk about Personas. Everyone in this room had only met her because of Personas. It was hard for him to relate, because he'd already had his own personality and sense of self before Awakening. The others had, too – even Ken, who was an elementary senior citizen. Mitsuru at eight and Mitsuru at twenty-one were like two halves of a Before and After diet commercial. I gained over 80% power in just 13 years! Thanks, Persona!
Mitsuru turned sideways, and he nearly lost sight of her. "How am I supposed to do this? I don't know who I am without her."
Koromaru tilted his head quizzically. "You are Mitsuru-san," translated Aigis.
"And who is that?"
Koromaru whined.
Seeing his chance, Akihiko sat next to her and gingerly reached for her hand. She didn't shy away...but she didn't really react, either. "Mitsuru is a beautifully intelligent woman who came into my life and made me realize I didn't really have one before then." This may have been a bad time to confess, but the words just started pouring out of his mouth the moment he opened it. "We're all better people with you around."
Yukari was staring at him like she was trying to set him on fire with her eyes – but her expression changed drastically when Mitsuru reached up and gently touched his face, the light returning to them for the first time since they got here. She quickly claimed the spot on Mitsuru's other side and nearly tackled her to the floor with an overly enthusiastic hug. "Senpai, you're the best friend I've ever had! I know I may have judged you unfairly in the past-" Akihiko was about to cough in protest at this, but Junpei beat him to the punch, "-but that's because I never took the time to get to know you. I didn't realize you thought your Persona was the only thing important about you. It's SO not! You're smart, and you're dedicated, and you can keep a bunch of idiotic kids from running around and getting themselves killed because you're such a great leader."
"And...you're kind of like a mom...especially for those of us who don't have one," added Ken.
"We've still got your voice in our heads anyway, because you've taught us to stop and think when we're about to do something stupid," said Junpei.
"That alone has saved Stupei's life multiple times!" Yukari couldn't help but quip.
Fuuka continued. "You take care of us and help keep us on the right track even when we don't know what it is. No one could take your place."
Akihiko didn't know what it was about that statement that made Mitsuru tear up more, but Fuuka deemed it important enough to speak up at a normal volume without stuttering, so it had to be important.
Koromaru came over and placed his head on Mitsuru's lap, his eyes set to Maximum Cute as he wagged. "You are a good girl, Mitsuru-san," translated Aigis.
Everyone laughed. "The highest possible praise!" chuckled Mitsuru as she petted him.
Akihiko had to remind himself how immature it was to be jealous of a dog.
-pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp-
Short chapter is short because it was frustrating. Going to pause for a bit to do AkiMitsu week, and then I'll be back at it.
I don't think Yu was supposed to have been there, but I needed someone else in the room when Tsukuda was killed. Solution? Edit!
Labrys had a whole game about getting her Persona, which is why she isn't here. I'm not alienating her; she just seems to have a lot more in common with the IT, and the SO have their own pre-Labrys issues to work out.
Take a shot every time you see the word "normal".
No wait, don't.
"No one could take your place" is what Mitsuru tells Fuuka in P3 when she asks her to investigate the 1999 explosion and Fuuka admits she feels compelled to help out of gratitude for being accepted by SEES.
Shinji claims Koromaru has a "Maximum Cute" setting in Persona Q when he manages to convince Mitsuru to let him go on a walk in the middle of a dungeon.