It was just like Akihiko to fail spectacularly at one task, only to succeed at another.

The Shadow Operatives hadn't seen one another for over a week – and they seemed fine with it. The others had settled into their non-Persona lives and adapted better than anyone had expected. Even Aigis had a job, working with computers with Fuuka when the latter wasn't at school. You'd think a robot built to use a Persona would be lost without a Persona, but they'd taught her so much about being human that she was eager to take a shot at it. Did anyone even care anymore? Or were they so used to their senpai taking care of everything that they were content to just live their lives until the next command came in?

Akihiko made his way to the docks to catch the ferry to Yakushima and wondered if anyone else was going to show up. If not, an entire beach house populated by just him and Mitsuru could get really awkward, really fast. He was glad to see a cab pull up...but the people getting out were considerably younger than he'd expected.

"Hey, Master!" Chie was calling to him as she bounced over to the pier. "D'ya know if Mitsuru-san's summer home has a barbecue?"

"Simmer down, Meat-for-brains! Look, you freaked him out already." Yosuke attempted to shove her backwards as he apologetically joined them. "I'm thinking no one told you what was up," he assumed.

"That's an understatement," replied Akihiko.

Fortunately, the last few passengers in the cab were Yu and Nanako. "Long story short, our school's been shut down for fumigation," he explained.

"Somehow," Yosuke continued, "a bunch of roaches moved in." He was looking pointedly at Teddie Teddie. "And just after Teddie started going to school, too."

Teddie Teddie was sweating through his suit – or at least, doing a pretty good impression of a human sweating through his suit. "What a beary strange coincidence!"

"Naoto mentioned it to Mitsuru-san, so she was kind enough to invite us to your party, especially when she found out Yosuke's birthday is coming up, too." Yu didn't seem to outwardly care about this.

"Does Mitsuru-san really have TWO houses?" Nanako could not hold still. "Is this one the castle?"

"She's got more than that, actually. But you don't go to Yasogami, do you?"

"Yeah, um…" Yu looked uncomfortable.

"Dad went away for work," said Nanako, "and I'm not allowed to be home alone on account of...um...you know."

Adachi. Mitsuru told him what Naoto had passed on about his involvement in the kidnappings. It made him sick to think about this little girl being used as a tool in some attention-grabbing, murderous jerk-off session. Cops were supposed to keep kids safe. He was damn well going to punch that man's lights out if he ever saw him again.

By the time the rest of the Inaba kids showed up, Mitsuru herself had arrived, looking amused as Yu herded Nanako over to thank her multiple times for the invite. She had Fuuka and the 'bots with her, and smiled as she saw Akihiko had kept his promise to show up. Her smile quickly faded when she didn't spot any of her other friends. Akihiko figured Yukari would pitch a fit, but he'd thought Junpei would at least be here. Ken, too, considering it was supposed to be his party. Who the hell refused a free vacation just to be petty? He wisely separated himself from a discussion about bathing suits and made his way over to her.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat," he found himself saying before realizing she probably wouldn't get that it was a joke.

"Perhaps not…" she mumbled, still looking for the others.

There were a million excuses he could give her. Traffic was bad. No one had a watch. Their phones all conveniently happened to die at the exact same time. They were ungrateful bitches...(maybe not that one). But this was supposed to be a fun trip for bonding with friends, and Akihiko was determined to keep it that way. Screw the no-shows. If this made Mitsuru happy again, that was all that mattered.

"Oh, here's something you'll like," he told her instead, "There was an incident in Colombia – I'm not getting into it – and I uh, sort of lost my swimwear."

Mitsuru smirked. "Do tell."

"If I do, you'll hit me. Suffice it to say that I bought another one that isn't as...streamlined." Sometimes, it amazed Akihiko that everything that had happened to him in South America had only taken about a year or so. It all felt like some adventure novel. If Mitsuru really knew what had gone on there, she might die of laughter before she could Execute him and never speak to him again.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Seeing Mitsuru blush was like catching a blue moon, but it was just as beautiful.

FINALLY, just as the boat was about to arrive, the Reserve Operatives pulled up in another cab with a dog head happily hanging out the window. The boys bounded out, but then doubled back and literally pulled a sulking Yukari out of the back seat. Akihiko tried to ignore the relief he heard flood Mitsuru's lungs so he could concentrate on glaring at Yukari, who looked like she was being dragged to prison. Why didn't you just stay home if you were gonna be like this? You clearly don't want a Persona anymore. Hell, you didn't want yours to begin with. But could you at least acknowledge that this is important to your best friend?

Junpei – with more tact than they'd ever attribute to him – refused to let a cat fight commence. "Da-da-da-DAA! Operation Beach House Birthday Bash can set sail! Bring on the bikinis!" He frogmarched Yukari onto the boat before she could protest. "Heeey, Inaba cuties! The more the merrier!"

Teddie Teddie was on the same pervy wavelength. "A romantic summer getaway with sophisticated city women...could this be the year Teddie finally finds true love?"

"Oh, so you're looking for a girl, huh, Teddie? Well, you're in luck! I happen to know of the perfect oceanside activity...that is, if you care to make a little wager." Okay, those two needed to be kept apart as much as possible. Not doing that again!

Yukari had gone wherever Mitsuru wasn't, but she couldn't really get that far outside of jumping off the boat (and Akihiko HOPED she wasn't that stupid!), so Ken felt it was all right to approach them. "Thank you again for arranging this on such short notice, Mitsuru-san. Most of us really do appreciate how much you're willing to do for your friends." He looked guilty. "We didn't mean to be so late, but I guess some of us just...weren't quite ready." He wouldn't elaborate, but he looked back in the direction of the cabin, and the other shoe dropped. Man, if Ken got any sager, they'd have to use him for seasoning.

"It's all right, Amada. Better late than never, non? And...thank you for trying." Mitsuru seemed to have resigned herself to spending the weekend with everyone else. Well, hey, Naoto was coming along. Mitsuru always liked shooting the shit with her; some intelligent talk that went over just about everyone's heads should do the trick.

And if not, well...maybe a hurricane would come and force everyone to stay inside for the whole trip.

It was always strange to Mitsuru to see just how others reacted to the lifestyle she'd been accustomed to. What she usually took for granted was lauded as "outrageous" or simply "amazing". All the Investigation Team would talk about all evening were the rooms they'd been given, the exclusive beach, and the service they'd been receiving. Mitsuru had caught Shirogane gazing longingly at the library and her father's study – the latter of which she had hastily closed off. It felt wrong to go wandering into there without his permission. They were even entranced with the kitchens, for heaven's sake – the kitchens! At this rate, they'd all have massive nosebleeds by the time they'd reached the game rooms!

Nanako was simply beside herself with glee. Mitsuru had thought her reaction to a limousine was cute enough, but this poor, oft-neglected girl must have thought her fairy godmother had come at last. "I can see the ocean from every window!" she gasped, her face illuminated like a Christmas tree. "This is better than a castle!"

"Better than Junes, even?" Narukami teased.

"Hey…!" Hanamura couldn't resist pouting.

Nanako thought for a moment. "It's better than a castle with its own Junes inside!" She decided.

As with most of their interactions, Mitsuru couldn't help but chuckle. "My! To think I have beaten the illustrious Junes!" At least someone was grateful for her hospitality. "Well then, what would you like to do tomorrow?"

"I want to go to the beach! No...I want to have a picnic! Um, Mitsuru-san? Do you ever have...boxed lunches?"

"Nanako, don't get carried away now," Narukami warned.

Mitsuru had a devil of a time pretending she had to think it over. "Hmm. I suppose I could arrange that. In fact, I don't see why you couldn't have lunch at the beach itself – it's a private beach, after all. We'll have the majority of it to ourselves."

"Boxed lunches ON THE BEACH?!" Oh, dear. Nanako was going to explode. Sure enough, she made a squealing noise as she propelled herself towards Mitsuru. "You're the best EVER!"

She was so happy.

Mitsuru could have bought her a pony or a baby grand piano, but all the girl wanted was a bento.

Such a little thing...and yet it meant so much.

When Mitsuru was young, her father spent most of his time in this very office, shouting on phones and shuffling through papers. He almost never made it home in time for bedtime stories. Couldn't be bothered to hear about school over supper.

"Father?" she would ask, hesitantly, "Would you look at my report? I want to know if the teacher will approve of it."

"I'm very busy, Mitsuru. Perhaps another time. Your grades are always exemplary. Tell you what; if you bring home top marks, I'll buy you the biggest doll I can find. Would you like that?"

And Father never heard her reply, "I have a doll. I have dozens of dolls." He would not be home when Mitsuru returned with the top marks as usual. The promised doll would arrive by servant. Mitsuru had more dolls and toys than anyone her age, but she didn't want any of them. She wanted her father to spend time with her.

"Such a little thing..."

She hadn't realized she'd spoken out loud until Akihiko made to wipe her tears away.

Narukami had already shuffled Nanako off to bed, and the Operatives were alone, watching their leader choke down bitter memories. Nanako thought she was "the best ever". In her darkest moment, when Mitsuru found herself feeling as useless as a broken toy, someone saw value in her. It was all too much to take on top of everything else. She had to retreat before embarrassing herself in front of the juniors yet again. Akihiko looked as if he wanted to say something, one hand still outstretched, but Mitsuru shook her head and scurried away before he could speak. Why did it hurt so much to be so loved?

Yukari said nothing.

Naoto hadn't been friends with the Investigation Team when they'd spontaneously drove up to Shichiri Beach last year. She might not have gone even if she had. Beaches meant bathing suits, and bathing suits meant her painstakingly crafted persona (how bitterly ironic) was in jeopardy. Men did not wear two-piece suits.

Naoto did not wear two-piece suits. When the one-sided conversations with Rise turned to their upcoming vacation, she broke out in a cold sweat upon realizing that gender would be her undoing. What was she going to wear? It seemed impolite to decline the invitation to the beach, after Mitsuru had graciously extended it to them. Should she feign illness? Claim that this was her unsanitary time of the month? Such an excuse was entirely feasible...but she felt bad about lying to her friends. Time spent with all of them was incredibly rare. Their lives were taking them in so many different directions. Who knew when another opportunity to gather together would arise?

This was why Naoto found herself facing down the full-length mirror in one of Yakushima's en suite bathrooms, forcing herself to look at this stranger in a bathing suit.

Against Rise's wishes, she'd gone with the simplest one-piece she could find, a pale blue torture device that was, by everyone else's standards, modest. The "support lining" it promised did very little to subdue her bust. How did women of stature wear these things? Surely Mitsuru, with her shapely figure, would be unable to stop gravity from taking its toll when she moved? Why would anyone subject themselves to this exploitation? This was definitely a man's doing, Naoto decided. Only a man would expect women to wear these humiliating harnesses while allowing themselves the freedom of swim trunks that were barely distinguishable from their everyday underwear.

Do not think about Kanji in swim trunks.

Well, now she was going to! Thank you very much, hormones!

Oh. Oh, dear. What was going to happen to Kanji when he set eyes on Naoto in this state of undress? He nearly died of blood loss when she tried on a female school uniform! He would expire in front of her, and then Yosuke's death from laughter would follow. Losing two members of the Investigation Team when they were the only ones left with Personas was NOT worth the risk!

Naoto quickly grabbed the brightly-colored and much-too-cheerful coverup she'd also purchased and hoped it was enough to stave off any mortal disasters. As she crept down the hallway, she overheard Nanako happily reporting to Dojima by phone.

"Hi, Dad! Guess what? My bed has a roof!" she chirped.

At least she was having a good time. It was always Nanako who kept the group's collective spirits up. Perhaps she could do the same for the Shadow Operatives.

The beach was, as promised, devoid of strangers as Naoto approached. Her friends dotted the landscape like islands of color; Chie and Yosuke arguing over who splashed who first, Koromaru and Teddie chasing each other through the surf, Junpei pestering a Yukari who refused to budge from her chair while Yukiko occupied another one, sunning herself. She was shocked to find that even Fuuka was confident enough to appear in a little ruffled swim skirt. Was she making a mountain out of a molehill?

No. As she got closer, Junpei noticed her and smirked. "See? Even Nao-cakes is willing to party!" Nao-cakes. Why am I always Nao-cakes?

This appeared to be the worst possible thing to say to Yukari, who would surely have whipped up a tornado had she the power to. "Especially after Senpai invited her personally!" That was odd. Had she done something to offend Yukari? Naoto hadn't spent much time with the actress, but Mitsuru had assured her she was capable in battle and fiercely loyal. Perhaps she had just wanted this vacation to be for her close friends only.

"Naoto's here?" Kanji had been obscured from her vision by a sandcastle, but he stuck his head out when he heard about her arrival. He stiffened as he took in her embarrassing apparel. "Uh...y'look, uh…"

"Short?" Junpei offered unhelpfully.

Whatever blood might have headed to Kanji's nose was rerouted to the rest of his face as he glared at Junpei. "FINE! Y'LOOK FINE!" he shouted as he angrily smashed a bucket full of sand on his creation. "Aw, now look what'cha did! This whole tower is ruined!" He stood up to repair the demolition, and…

Oh, goodness gracious.

Kanji's swim attire consisted of nothing but several elastic hair ties supporting a handkerchief that was supporting his...manhood. It covered only the barest of flesh and left virtually nothing to the imagination. He was approximately 99% naked.

Naoto wasn't sure when the ground came up to meet her, but she was very grateful that it was soft.

"Nao-chan is down!" Teddie jogged up to her. "Don't worry! Teddie will give her the smooch of life!"

"Teddie, we want to wake her up, not kill her more!" scolded Chie.

"Has something happened?" New voices joined the scene as Mitsuru, Akihiko, Ken, and Rise arrived, looking either confused or – in Rise's case – smug. Mitsuru immediately assumed responsibility. "Is everyone all right?"

Rise was giggling. "Looks like Naoto-kun found her little surprise!" She knew about this? Yet she did not see fit to warn her that Kanji would be functionally nude? Indignation gave Naoto the power to rise to her knees and attempt to give the idol a glare. "Having beefcake for lunch, Naoto-kun?" When Kanji emerged from behind his cover once again to scold Rise, everyone did their best to avoid looking directly at him.

Akihiko had gone pale. "Okay…did I actually look that ridiculous, too-"

"Yes," Mitsuru answered before he'd even finished asking the question.

"Oh, yeah," added Yukari.

"Yep," said Junpei.

Even Fuuka agreed. "It was a little much, Senpai."

"Statistical analysis has refuted the claim that Akihiko-san's streamlined swimwear allowed him to improve his speed while swimming." Aigis moved fairly nimbly on sand for a robot with no feet. "It has no useful functions outside of embarrassing both the wearer and the surrounding audience."

Labrys, the earlier model, used far less words. "Why're you out here in your underwear, Kanji-kun? Didja lose your clothes?"

This was enough to cause Kanji to dash away spluttering, leaving his creation behind to the laughs and jeers of his supposed friends. Naoto had half a mind to pursue him, but he more than likely could not face her right now, and the view from behind would not be any less traumatizing for the both of them than the front view was.

One last voice called out as he ran away: "Some seaweed over here, Kanji," though Naoto had no idea what it was referring to. Yu and Nanako had arrived at last, either diffusing the tension on the beach, or flat-out pretending it never existed in the first place.

"It's so blue and sparkly!" Nanako was gazing longingly at the ocean. "I can't wait to go swimming!"

"Was Dojima-san really mad?" Yosuke was asking.

"Not as much as usual," replied Yu, "He only yelled once. Nanako was so happy that he didn't have the heart to tell her she needed to return to an empty house. We're all under arrest if anything happens to her, though." He may or may not have been joking.

"Why did Kanji-kun leave?" asked Nanako. Dojima-san would certainly blow a fuse if he'd known his young daughter was being exposed to male anatomy much earlier than necessary.

No one seemed to have a G-rated answer for her until Fuuka of all people spoke up. "I think he was upset that his surprise for you was ruined," she explained, "He wanted you to have a real castle on the beach."

The sandcastle still looked very elaborate and sturdy despite its one construction mishap, and Nanako's reaction was still preciously priceless. "OH! It's the best sandcastle I've ever seen! Look, there's a drawbridge, and a moat...well, one tower is a little crooked. Why don't we fix it up for him? He'll be surprised, too!"

"That's a wonderful idea, Nanako-chan! I'm sure that will make Kanji-kun feel better," said Yukiko, deliberately coming over to place herself on Yu's left side...

...leaving Rise to flank his right side. Grinning widely at Naoto, she added, "Yeah, he'll perk right up!"

I suddenly find myself with the urge to buy an oversized Kanamin Kitchen poster and display it prominently in my apartment.

- pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp -

As soon as I remembered Akihiko and Kanji both had the same Speedo, I realized things would get really awkward.

Even though Naoto never wore a bathing suit for the pageant, I'd imagine she'd go with something more reserved, like a one-piece or something with boy shorts.

The Golden version of the Persona 4 animation implies that Naoto is prone to the slippery slope fallacy, where she imagines things spiraling out of control into something crazy.