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Have a great week everyone!
Chapter 7: first fail
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
Crap. Every damn time my phone goes off, I'm occupied. This time my hands are wet from doing the dishes. "Quinn!" Blonde hair peeks up from behind the corner. "Can you see who's calling me!" Getting no immediate response, I yell a bit louder. "Before it stops ringing?"
With some slight protest, I hear shuffling nearby. She can't emphasis enough what a difficult task I gave her … Once she locates my phone she picks it up, just in time.
Apparently it's Kurt, saying he's waiting downstairs for me.
Whoops. For a minute I forgot we were going out, shopping. I'm almost at the end of my little two-week tour and apparently that calls for a special clothing of some sorts. Kurt thought I needed a real eye-catcher for my last performance in four days. I didn't exactly agree, but I knew I've lost the battle before he even started it.
I'm really not looking forward for going clothes shopping though. I hate doing that… everything that is related to fashion is not meant for me …
Though since I've been currently wearing the same outfit every night … maybe it's a very good thing Kurt is willing to help me on that part … also the reason why I let him win battles like this…
"Nah, sorry Kurt, I can't, I've still got some stuff to handle about a new business that asked for my help. They're actually starting a gender-neutral chain store of clothes …"
Oh right. I remember her talking about that new client. It's her second client this week! I'm very happy for her, her one-woman-company is really starting to launch. People are definitely starting to notice her.
She calls herself an adviser, but it's much more then that. She gives tips & tricks to businesses that either just started, or places that are on the verge of bankruptcy. Customer don't come because they're not aware of the existence of the store or they're not interested enough to buy stuff there. It's almost a popularity contest. Besides being an excellent manager for me, she's an outstanding individual to help those small corporations in need.
She's awesome at her job. For example, there is this bakery close-by that was really struggling to get themselves on the map. Customers passed by without even noticing the shop. Quinn gave them some advice to change that. She has figured out the marketing system completely. She understands it, and comprehends exactly how to lure people to her clients.
It's not a necessity for her to work besides her job for me … but Quinn gets bored easily. So, we searched for things she could do and that's the one we came up with as a small business on the sideline (I say we, but I'm allowed to take the credit on this one … you're welcome Quinn, glad I could help). It's a juggle sometimes to coordinate our calendars, but so far so good.
I can't remember her having a meeting about someone today though…
When she hangs up the phone I ask her about it. She gives me a mischievous look. "Technically I don't have to work on it today … but Kurt said Rachel was going too, and those two together going shopping … plus, I'm just as excited to go shopping as you-"
I throw the towel I just dried my hands with towards her, shock evidently in my voice. "You lied?! Are you seriously going to let me suffer alone?"
She catches the towel with ease. "I do have work for that client, so that wasn't a lie … it's just not as urgent as I made it look …"
"Ugh. I hate you Lucy Fabray."
"Oh grow up San, we're not in high school anymore. That name doesn't bother me anymore." She sticks out her tongue in response and runs away towards the living room. That's the end of our conversation.
Pfff, I know we're teasing, but I'm a bit annoyed if I'm honest. She knows I hate going out with the dynamic shopping duo on my own. It makes me grumpy. At the end of the day my head will be full with random unknown Broadway shows and advice I've never asked for. Those two together …
Honestly, they're just like me and Quinn. Stuck together since high school and never let go. Kudos to them for that, I guess. I can tolerate both of them at a decent level, but I would never, and I mean never, want to be in proximate distance to them for more than 24 hours. Make that 6. Or 4 hours … the horror! It would be bad. Bad for literally every person involved.
So Quinn … definitely not on my most liked persons' list for the moment.
My phone starts buzzing again, so I hurry up to get downstairs. It would be bad to get Kurt in a bad mood, he's my best advise giver if it comes down to it. If I could, I'd just wear a jeans and shirt every evening to perform, but apparently that's 'not done'.
… Maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong people. Why can't I just wear whatever the hell I want?
Right, right, I know. I don't think I feel confident enough to do that. What if people judge me for my attire? That would be awkward wouldn't it?
A female voice gets clearer and clearer to hear. Must be Rachel. "No Kurt, you're wrong, that's not the song I was talking about, I'm talking about …"
Ugh, please let it be afternoon already. I want this to be over.
Thirty minutes later –posh boutique
"Oh my god, Kurt, this is such a nice chic boutique! How did you find this place?" A sharp voice grabs my attention. It's been bothering me the whole drive here. The car ride was only a thirty minute ride, but they managed to sing three solos each, plus giving me the way too much detailed summary of the Broadway show the songs are from.
I love to sing, but even I think they're over the top sometimes. Ugh. And Rachel can't stop mentioning how she's got the third most important part in an off Broadway show right now.
Yes Rachel Berry, I know you've got the part. I knew it the minute you auditioned. I knew the second you got the call. And now I've known for a thousand times already. Ugh. I know she's got her good sides, but this is definitely not one of them. Remind me why I'm here again?
"Here, Santana, I've picked out three outfits for you. Would you mind trying them?" Almost throwing the clothes in my face he's already talking to Rachel again before I can respond. "What about that Tony in that new show …"
I roll my eyes. Thank god I've got something to do now. I hurry towards the dressing rooms and try out the first thing he put in my hands. It's a sort of pantsuit, but in some way it still looks like a dress … it's hideous. I'm practically gaging from seeing myself in the mirror.
The second option is better, a nice combination of a red summer dress. Still fancy enough to wear on stage. The third one is what stands out though. I love my dresses, believe you me. But sometimes I'm a real sucker for a tailored costume. And this is one of them.
"Kurt, look at this one!"
He opens the curtain and shrieks. "It's perfect!" He wipes off some invisible dirt of my shoulder. "I will tailor the shoulders a bit more though. But it looks stunning Santana. You should-"
Suddenly he hides behind me. Rachel and I give each other a confused look. Both not really sure what just happened. "Um, you alright there Hummel?"
He looks into the store, peeking from over my left shoulder. "It's the cute guy from those Celtic Wolves."
Rachel turns around, yet having no clue what he's talking, she's puzzled. She looks at me, jumpng into the dressing room to hear Kurt out. Great, this doesn't look weird at all.
"Nuh-uh. Get out. Both of you." I push them out of the small room. The protest is small from Rachel, but Kurt is more hesitant. Rachel tries to get information out of Kurt, trying to get a better overview of this situation, but she's got no luck. Apparently she is aware there was some boy that gained his attention when he went to the bar with Quinn and I, but she has no clue how he looks.
Once I've changed back into my normal clothes, I stumble out of my dressing room. Rachel has started to point out every person that's wandering around in the store. It's quite a large store, but luckily the dressing area isn't that busy and a bit secluded from the rest of the place, so at least I'm one of the only ones witnessing this odd behaviour right now.
I was going to put the clothes I won't buy onto the rack, but one of the employees calls for my attention. I ask if I can give them to her and that's that. I give her a wink for good emphasis, since she's cute and all that. By the looks of it, she definitely didn't mind.
Once she's out of my sight I turn towards Kurt, who's still freaking out. "Alright Kurt." I search for hair gel and bowties, before I push Kurt towards that direction. "Just go, do your thing. Don't overthink it. I can smell gay from miles away from him and he looks just as nerdy about performing as you, so it's a match made in heaven."
He protests for a moment, but I just glare in response. I even threaten to make a tantrum, so the boy will look our way. That did it, he almost bolts away.
I wouldn't have done that by the way. I just knew he wouldn't dare take the risk. He's been in close proximately of Snixx and my tantrums, so he knows well enough to not challenge me in any way.
"Who is he? Where is he? Do you know which one he's talking about?" God, Rachel with all her questions.
"It's the one with all that hair gel and the red pants." After glazing over the room she sees him too. "Oh, he's cute!" I smirk. "Easy hobbit, Kurt saw him first. If he's straight he's all yours."
By now Kurt approached him and they started to have a conversation. "… By the looks of it I don't think you stand much of a chance."
She shrugs, humour evidently in her voice. "Well maybe if he's having a gay panic I could be his straight kiss or something."
Wow. I'm not even going to respond to that.
After unapologetically staring at our friend, Rachel suddenly speaks up again. "He deserves it though, doesn't he?" I keep my voice soft. "What do you mean?" She gestures towards the boy. "You know, finding love. He's always been there for me. For my ups and downs… I try to be there for him, but he's always had such a desire for love, though he never had a serious relationship on his own… So I'm glad he's meeting someone that looks like the feeling is mutual. He deserves this."
I see Kurt shaking the guy's hand before wandering back towards us. "Yeah, he does." I whisper back. I think that was the most sincere conversation I've ever had with Rachel. Common friends tend to do that.
By the look on Kurts face it seems like all went well. When I paid for the suit and drove the car out of our parking spot, Kurt started to explain everything. With that I mean literally everything that was spoken. Apparently his name is Blaine and one of his friends is getting married so he was buying something nice for the wedding. They swapped numbers to meet on a calmer moment. I try to hide it as best as I can, but a small smile creeps up my face. It's been a while since I've heard such excitement linger through Kurt's voice. It's nice to hear.
Three hours later (two hours before the evening performance)
It's almost showtime!
I grab my clothes I'll wear this evening and walk into the theatre. It's nostalgic to walk through the doors, because I performed here a few years ago, while I was doing my first year in Julliard … before I quit and tried to achieve a business degree at NYU.
Anyway. I've learned a lot of the basics about singing live that first year. This is actually also the place I auditioned to get in. it's giving me extremely mixed feelings. Everybody has made choices they feel regret about. Quitting Julliard, though absolutely necessary at the time … I sometimes think what if I stayed and finished college there?
I hate 'what if I did this or that' sentences. People tend to wish to travel back in time for 'wrong' decisions, but we can't change our past. Our past shapes us into who we are. The good and the bad. It's such a cliché, but I believe in it immensely … doesn't make me wonder once upon a time.
And seeing these halls, the old red carpet, the high ceiling with strangely shaped lamps, the ugly yellow walls, … it makes my stomach turn in an unsettling way. Good thing I know my way around here, so I don't need to linger long before I locate the backstage.
I wonder where Brittany's hanging out right now. I don't normally come so early, but something made me do it this evening. Maybe I'm trying to get the Broadway-lovers out of my mind, maybe I'm just bored. Or maybe I'm wishing to continue my conversation with a certain blue eyed technician.
I open the doors to the stage and see she's standing on a tall ladder to adjust a lighting angle. I keep quiet and stay out of sight until she's back on the ground. I don't want to accidentally startle her and make her fall off the ladder or something. However, she must have heard me anyway, because without even looking my way she speaks up, asking if there's someone there.
I don't want to creep her out, so I immediately step out of the shadows. "Hey Brittany. Need any help?"
She looks down towards me, giving me a puzzled look. "Santana? What are you doing here so early?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Just wanted to talk to you a bit more. It felt like our conversation was cut short yesterday." The ladder she's up stumbles a bit, so I quickly grab it, trying to get it more stabilized. "Brittany! You alright?"
She mumbles a small yes before she starts to climb down. "Thanks."
My breath gets caught in my throat, because we're very close to each other now. I'm still fiercely holding on to the ladder and she's just one step above the ground. She towers over me a little bit, our height difference even more obvious. Our heads are very close together and I hold my breath.
Once she's back on common ground I clear my throat. "Uh." I compose myself. "You know it's not safe to use a ladder by yourself right? What if you fell?!"
She dusts off some invisible dirt from her pants before responding. "I know, I know. Normally I don't do that, but there was one slight thing I still needed to adjust and I already sent the others home." She grabs the dangerous object and carries it off stage. I follow in her footsteps. "Besides, I don't think I would have fallen … but thanks anyway." She gives me a shy smile.
I give her a toothy smile in response. "So, do you still have a lot of work?"
"No, I'm actually finished." She puts down the ladder again and we start walking towards the backstage room, where I put my stuff down.
"Cool. So …" I'm a bit lost at words, which she seems to sense.
"So… let's keep our natural conversations going, like with the nicknames." She winks. "I give you free range to pick a subject. Whatever you want."
"Ooh, I like this game!" I try to think, but there are so many questions wandering around in my head I can't seem to come up with one good one. It's a maze right now in my mind. She's just so perfect, I don't know what first to know, how can you ask someone who's good at everything an interesting question?... "What is something you're not good at?"
WOW, is that the question I came up with? I'm ridiculous. Where's Quinn slapping some sense into me when I need it?
She doesn't sense my inner struggle though. She grabs a water bottle and silently offers me one. "Hmm, good question. I'm bad at a lot of stuff. Like a lot a lot. I don't really know where to begin. History. Sports. Learning and speaking languages. Chemistry…
I sit down on the old, black leather couch they placed in the room and gesture to her to join me. I give her an amused smile. "You do realise you're just pointing out subjects you've had in high school right?"
She snaps out of her concentration. "Wow, I guess you're right." Her look seems a bit glazed, like she's stuck in an uncomfortable memory. "High school wasn't the best of times for me. I didn't know how to communicate with the cool kids so lots of gibberish came out of my mouth … plus I hated my classes. It took a lot of effort to get through school … anyway. Uh. Okay, other stuff." She sits down next to me.
I can smell a hint off vanilla and some other delicious odor. Must be her shampoo or something. Or maybe that's just her natural odour. I don't care, it smells good. Her voice snaps me out of my creepy leering. "Hmm. Speaking to people. Understanding people. Multitasking. Making decisions."
I interrupt her, because now she's just down breaking herself. "Hey Britt, don't be like that. You're downsizing yourself. I didn't mean to be such a downer. I thought it could be a light question."
I don't really know how to begin to express to her how sure I am she's not bad at all those things. But it's difficult, I've only known her for a good week, you can't use the arguments you use when you know someone already well enough to say that.
"Ow, wow, sorry, I was being too honest wasn't I?" She's looking down, looking a bit flustered. "Okay, wait, forget the last few minutes. Let's keep it light. Hmm." She's thinking, fumbling with a loose thread from the armchair of the sofa. Suddenly it's like a light bulb went up in her head. "Ow, I know! I'm really bad at flirting."
I laugh a bit. "Hah, good one. I get it, flirting is a strange thing. But who knows, maybe you are good at it, but you just think you aren't?"
She waves my suggestion away. "Hah, nope, pretty sure it's true… so let me give you one back. Dogs or cats?"
She gives me a dead serious look. I hesitate. "Why do I get the feeling there's a right and a wrong answer to this question?"
"Maybe because there is." She winks, so I guess she's kidding. "Hmm, I think I have to say dogs. Quinn has a super cute one. He's actually mine, but since I have such a turbulent life for the moment we've agreed he stays with her for now. I actually had him when we were roommates, so we're equally as fond to him. So yeah, I hope I'll get him back in my life someday … but Quinn's so connected with him, I don't think I want to get between them … even though I miss him very much."
"I get it. Sounds like a difficult choice." Thinking about Lucky for a moment, it's Brittany who speaks up first. "You don't live together anymore?" I shake my head in the negative. "Well, maybe you'll find a solution someday. Like switching between homes? Although that seems a bit tricky for his welfare … dogs need to have a warm home, with structure. The less stress-factors they have when it comes to homing the better. He ... what's his name?"
"It's Lucky."
"Lucky as in 101 Dalmatians Lucky?" She sounds very excited.
"Yes!" I relax at her enthusiastic reaction. "Ow, cool. Normally I get embarrassed if people know where it comes from, but it seems you don't feel the same way."
"Embarrassed? Now way, it's cool! I love that movie!"
My smile turns nostalgic. "It's actually my favourite Disney movie. Hence the name reference. Quinn wanted to call him Max, but I didn't really like that."
"Lucky is a way cooler name, you're right. I'm a softy for original names for pets."
"What about you? Dogs or cats?"
She hesitates for a moment. "Well I had a cat, Lord tubbington, he still lives at my parents, but he was my best buddy in high school, so I really love cats." Hah wanky "But I must admit that dogs have something adoring too. I've just never really interacted much with dogs in my life … so I don't really know if I'm a dog person really. Can't you just be both?"
"Sure, why not." I shrug my shoulders. I bet lots of people in the world can't choose between dogs or cats.
"All right, my turn again." I put a finger on my chin, seemingly thinking hard about something to ask her. "Hmm there are so many questions I want to ask you, I don't know where to start." She takes another sip from her drink, which allows me to think for a minute more. "Oh, I know! How long have you been in New York?"
She puts down her water bottle, but stumbles a bit. Luckily she's on time to catch the bottle before any water could spill. A small embarrassed laugh escapes her, which makes her need a second to compose herself. "Hmm, let me think for a moment... I started at NYU in –"
I put my hand on her leg, silencing her. I think I startled us both, but something else is more in the forefront of my mind right now… "No way, you went to NYU? Me too! When did you go, maybe we were there in the same year?"
A small blush crosses over her face. "Yeah, actually, I think I saw you a few times on campus. Though we were on different campuses, so there weren't that much opportunities to pass each other."
A guilty feeling passes through me. Shit. I need to think. Why can't I remember her? "Really? Huh, can you remember when? Those two years are such a blur for me."
"No, don't feel guilty." She looks at me, her gaze very sincere. "We never talked or something like that, being in completely different uh- … you just … had a sort of reputation." I need to lean a bit closer, because her voice sounds very apologetic and quiet.
I wave her apology away. "Don't beat around the bush Britt, I know I had a bad reputation of sleeping my way around all the girls on campus. I uh, yeah …" I take my hand back, feeling a bit strange at the contact now. "So what did you study?"
She starts fidgeting with her fingers. I don't know if it's from me taking away my hand or some other reason. "Archaeology. But I didn't finish it, I uhm, it wasn't my thing and it felt very overwhelming, so I quit after a year."
"Don't feel bad about that Brittany, I quit NYU after two years too. Business & Society just wasn't my thing either …" I look at her, but I feel so safe with her, the words come out of my mouth before I can think about it. "… and I was in a bad place at the time, so the combination wasn't that great. Plus Quinn released my song around that time and it really hit off the charts, so yeah … I decided to give singing a chance I guess."
"The song Lost memories right?"
A sadness washes over me, remembering where my motivation for writing the song came from. "Yeah … it's about my grandfather. He passed away a few years ago… a heart attack… the song is written with him in mind."
It's silent for some time. Suddenly she scoots a bit closer, putting her hand on my leg now. She waits with speaking until I look up to her. "It's a beautiful song San. You're an amazing person. The purity you put in that song says a lot about your character, and you should be proud of it…"
Seeing I'm lost in my own thoughts, she gives me a minute before continuing her response. "I think heart attacks happen from loving too much … I'm sorry for your loss Santana. If he was half as an amazing person as you, I would have loved to meet him."
There's a small waver in my voice when I respond, tears are on the brim of breaking out. "Thanks" I take a deep breath, trying to get the tension out of me. "I thought you said you weren't good at flirting?"
She gives me a confused look. "Yeah? I'm really not." I open my mouth to speak up, but her phone starts ringing. She looks to see who's calling and excuses herself to say it's an employee from this theatre. Guess she'll have some other job to do. Shame though, this conversation was … interesting.
Same night, after the performance
The show ended and everyone has already left the theatre room. I'm still here, sitting at the end of the stage, moving my legs like a little child from left to right. The room's dark so I can't really see that far, but I'm still daydreaming about today.
"You okay Santana?" Quinn asks, sitting down next to me. I smile, still enjoying the vibe of the evening.
It was an awesome crowd. They kept asking me to sing one other song. I felt so alive. It made me sing three more pieces than planned. Good thing Brittany was quick on her toes with the lighting and background music. The thrill was amazing this evening.
I hum in answer. "Yeah, had a great day. Great audience, they were very enthusiastic. Just keeping the feeling a little longer inside."
She puts her hand on my shoulder, giving me support. After five minutes of peace and quiet she speaks up again. "All right, I'll look around for a toilet, there has to be one in this maze off walls." She gets up with a lot of effort. "… If you haven't heard from me in fifteen minutes … call me and see if you hear my phone, I'll probably be lost. And if not, I'm sure I'll find you here."
Her footsteps echo into the empty room until she closes the door behind her. It's deadly quiet. It's only when empty you realise how bombastic a stage can look in front of the audience. Every small movement I make echoes through the room. Some might call it creepy.
I don't mind though. You can still feel the energy of the evening in the air. I can still hear the people. I can still feel the feelings they felt. It's an amazing feeling.
This is why I became an artist. To give people an awesome experience. To give them a pause from their daily life. To give them joy. To give them freedom. Even if it's only for this evening. Getting a reset or break or battery reload … whatever it is people come to enjoy, I'm so happy to be of help. And it's a definite plus I get to enjoy it too of course. Performing is my life.
I know it sounds so cliché. But you should be in this room right now. Or you should have been here half an hour ago. It's incredible. You're looking for magic? For impossible things? Put a dozen people in the same room, let them feel the same feeling and you've got magic. People are so much more powerful than they think. There's an energy buzzing in these rooms. If I sing a song, people connect. I connect with them. I'm sure you could make electricity from that connection if we had the ability to catch that energy. It's one of the most powerful things in the world. Connection.
I turn my head around, because the sudden opening from a door startles me. Someone's clears their throat behind me. It's Brittany. "Hey Santana, great performance…" Picking up some chords on the sidelines, Brittany gains my attention. "Ow sorry! Would it be okay if I start with the clean-up already?"
I put my hands on the floor and try to stand up again. "Sure, no problem." She puts down her tools and throws off her sweater. I get it, it's hot in here. She looks wonderful. She's just wearing a normal blue shirt, but it fits her perfectly. God, why does observing Brittany putting lights away make me feel so many things? Why do I want to get my hands on her shirt and …
That's it. I've had it with this dreamy stuff I'm doing. I approach her slowly, gaining her attention once more. "However… can you do something for me first?"
She gives me a nod. I put out my hand, seeing a slight panic evolving in her eyes. I decide to power through for now. I take a stop before her and take a bow. "Can I have this dance my lady?"
I see most of her panic leave her eyes. She looks a bit shy though, a small blush is creeping up her face. "Oh, uh I don't know, there's no music?"
I grab her hand and start swaying us around a bit. I'm surprised of myself for being so forward. I mean … I'm still me ... so maybe not that much surprised. After a few seconds she starts to move more fluent. It's not a full out choreography we're doing, but it's nice. Holding each other hands, swaying back and forth a bit.
"So Brittany, I was thinking." She hums in acknowledgement.
"… Would you like to go on a date with me?"
She stops dancing. Shit. That's not good. Mayday, mayday! Have I read the signals wrong? Ow no. No, no, no, no … what's happening. I'm panicking…
Though if I'm feeling panicked, then Brittany is full on fainting. She's looking way more panicked and startled then me. Why though? I asked the question didn't I?
"Uh …" I try to calm us down a bit. "I mean … I feel something … and I don't mean like what my reputation does … I don't mean I want to go on a date, sleep with you and go on with my life. I feel something. And that's pretty rare for me … so uh yeah."
She looks touched by my small speech, but doesn't look less panicked. "I uh … Santana. I uhm I feel something too. And don't get me wrong … you're wonderful. I wasn't lying. You are such an amazing, beautiful, wonderful human being. Any woman can call herself lucky to go on a date with you. But …" There's a huge conflict going on between her eyes, though I have no idea what's it about. "…I can't Santana. I'm sorry."
She lets go of me, running to the exit mumbling something like she'll clean up the next morning.
I call her back but to no avail.
She's gone.
I don't know what just happened, but I've never felt this rejected in my life. Great. Just great, now I'm opening up myself a tiny bit and this happens. Thank you. Thank you very much.
"Fieuw. That was a challenge. I was this close to peeing in my pants. It's ridiculous. And then the lights went out in the middle of my deed. I mean … creepy much? … you okay S?"
I grab my purse and pass her without looking up. "Perfect. Come on, my bed is calling my name." Sarcasm lashes through my voice.
Quinn doesn't move, so I grab our coats, before pushing hers harshly into her hands. She gives me a puzzled look. "Geez what happened to you?"
I mumble a response with words I don't even know what they mean, before I walk out the door, looking for the exit. Not glancing back once.
…
Last day of Santana's mini-tour
Birds. Why do they exist? Music. Why does it sound so … lividly? Sun. Why is the sun blinding my eyes?
God, the past three days have been rough. Three more days I was confronted with the rejection of Brittany. To say interaction between us went back to awkward, is an understatement. We barely had any contact with each other. You know what's even stranger? Weirdly enough it's mostly Brittany who's actively avoiding me. I don't know how she does it. She's like a ghost! She has an incredible great skill to avoid you when she can. I mean … how? We were literally every day in the same building together! Every time I saw a wave of blonde hair it turned out to be Quinn's.
Nevertheless, I don't know what I would have done if we had a long moment to ourselves. I would have talked it out … I think. Or maybe Snixx would have wanted a say. I don't know, that's the thing! I don't know what to think or feel about her! After tonight I might never see her again. I'm not sure if I never want to see her again … but my ego is hurt … like a lot.
She also talked almost exclusively to Quinn, avoiding needing to conversate with me directly. Of course Quinn almost immediately figured out my bad mood has something to do with another blonde … she doesn't know what exactly though. Doesn't matter. I'm over it.
What I don't get though, is the look she was giving me when I arrived today in my tailored suit. I mean … I can see an attraction towards somebody from miles away. And her once-over towards me in my costume … that sure as hell didn't make her feel nothing. So why did she say no to a date?
So yep. Here we are. It's almost a flashback to four days ago. The audience has left already, but they were so energetic! It was a perfect ending to my tour. Though I'm not here to swallow up the aftermath atmosphere now. Through these two weeks, Quinn and I always volunteered to help Brittany, but we never could do that much since we don't know anything about technical … stuff.
But … two minutes ago I 'accidentally' put too much of my weight on the pile of carboard boxes full with paper garbage … and cleaning up is something I can help Brittany with (and did, on the evenings there was also stuff to clean up, Quinn and I always made sure to help). Paper garbage is not bad to clean up. It's the perfect scheme really. It gives me some time.
I've invited someone here, and I hope to god we're not finished tidying everything up yet before she arrives, because I don't want Brittany to leave before she saw he-
"Santana! Here you are. I was asking a security guy where you were, he almost didn't let me through, but then I showed a picture of us from you and I in my bed and he let me through. Ha, so funny, he was so embarrassed. Anyway …"
Quinn gives me a puzzled yet deathly glare. I get it. This girl is cray cray.
The girl, Sophia, comes onto stage and continues her monologue. Now if you think about how she first tried to flirt her way through the security guy… I know. Sophia is kind of a low blow. She's way too possessive. And she always wants me to buy her stuff. And takes photos with her where the paparazzi walks. She 100% uses me for my fame.
But … I wanted to find someone to show Brittany that I'm already over her little rejection. I wanted her to see me leave with another person, quite sure knowing it's not for an evening stroll. And one women who for sure will let everyone know she's sleeping with me … is Sophia. So yeah …. I'm not so proud of myself for the moment either. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
Quinn puts her last pile of papers aggressively into the box before she grabs her phone out of her back pocket and starts texting. A second later my phone goes off. I stand up and grab the phone out of my bra, already expecting all exclamations points and aggressive language… but it's not.
/ Fabgay: Whatever this is is for later. Brittany looks heartbroken. Do something.
My back is turned to Brittany, so I can't see her face. When I do look, I can see a flash of hurt across her face. But not a second later she's making an emotionless, unreadable face. Again. I've been very familiar with that face the past few days.
By now Sophia walked up on the stage. She grabs me by the hand and puts an arm around my shoulders in a possessive way. She's already whispering dirty things in my ear, which don't do anything for me … that's the first time since … ever. Or more like since I made eyes with a blue eyed goddess.
Urgh. Doesn't matter. That's it. I feel my phone buzzing again.
/ Fabgay: at least say goodbye. Idk what happened, but say thanks. She did a great job.
I guess that's fair. I call for Brittany's attention, walking over to her. Sophia pulls me back for a second, kissing me unashamedly on the mouth, before quickly following behind me.
"Brittany. Thank you for doing a great job. It was … it was great working with you. Maybe until next time." And I'm not lying. She was awesome to work with.
She's hesitant to respond. It looks like she's contemplating whether to say something or not. But once she sees Sophia licking my ear … which I've told her a thousand times is weird to do in public … Brittany looks like she made a decision. She dusts off her hands on her pants and gives me a proper handshake. "Nice working with you too Santana. You're a great performer. You're an awesome singer."
I open my mouth, but before I can start a conversation she's already going backstage putting away some electricity cables. Whatever. I don't care. It's time to go home anyway. I've helped clean up what I could. It's all I can do. All the lights and cables look the same to me, and how do you know which electricity cable needs to stay and which one not? Where do all the things go? I'd probably be the opposite of help for her.
Quinn gives me a not so gentle push to the shoulder when she walks towards the technician. She calls out Brittany's name, probably to give her a thank you too or something. I don't appreciate the judgy look she gives me on the way though.
What the hell does she know? Her heart …uhm ego wasn't broken just a few days ago. Shouldn't she take my side?!
Doesn't matter. I'm over this. The only thing left to do tonight is trying to get rid of Sophia … yeah that's going to be tricky.