I did apologize to Nancy for my snarkiness, and she apologized to me, too, saying that she should have just let me relax and not have to
hear another lecture. She was telling me that while she was making up the couch for me to sleep on, making sure I had enough pillows and a blanket.
"It's okay," I told her. She gave me a hug goodnight, and after I'd gone to the bathroom and done my diabetes shot, I was sitting on the couch,
getting ready to settle in for the night.
Evan came in from outside, where he'd been checking on his horses, and closed and locked the door. He went to the kitchen and got a glass
of milk, pausing as he was pouring.
"You want some?" he offered.
I shook my head in answer. "No, thanks."
"You do your shot?" he asked.
I said that I had, and he flipped off the light over the kitchen sink, pausing near the couch.
"You good?" he asked me then.
"Yeah," I said.
"Okay. Get some sleep," he said, and headed towards his bedroom door.
"Thanks, Ev," I said, and he stopped to turn and look at me.
"You're welcome. I'll make you some pancakes in the morning. How about that?"
I nodded in answer. "Sounds good. Adam said I had to be home early."
"Okay. Night."
"Good night," I echoed.
I turned off the lamp at the end of the couch, and curled up under the blanket that Nancy had given me. I laid there for a long time, staring up
at the darkness. It took me a long time to go to sleep.
7
After the promised pancakes the next morning, Nancy went off to work her half-day at the farm store, and I gathered my stuff together
to walk down to the house. When I got there, there was, as usual a buzz of activity everywhere. It was just after seven-thirty, and I met Brian
as he was coming out of the back door.
"Morning," he greeted me. "There's some eggs left for you."
"Evan made pancakes," I said.
Adam came out then, behind Brian.
"Hey, Sug," he said.
"Morning," I said.
Adam paused. "Stay around the house and help Hannah this morning," he reminded me.
"I will."
They were in a hurry to get to their work, and went on, leaving me to go onto the back porch and into the kitchen. Isaac was still in his
high chair, and Hannah and Clare were clearing the table and doing the breakfast dishes.
"Morning, sweetie, how was your night?" Hannah asked.
"It was good."
I put my diabetes supplies away, and poured myself a cup of coffee.
I went to sit beside Isaac, kissing the top of his head.
"He's fussy this morning," Hannah said.
"Is it his teeth?" I asked, leaning in to press my forehead against Isaac's.
"That, and he didn't sleep very well."
Hannah turned from the sink, drying her hands on a dish towel. "We've got a lot to do this morning."
"What do you want me to do?" I asked, with a little sigh, kissing Isaac's head again.
Hannah began listing off chores that needed doing, and then, after that, I got busy and hardly had time to take a break all the
rest of the morning. I did laundry, and then folded it when it was dry, going up and down the stairs to deliver it to whoever's room it belonged in.
I rocked Isaac and put him to sleep, and then I got caught helping Hannah line the kitchen shelves with new shelf paper. Lunch was the first
time I sat down all morning, and it was a hurried meal, with only sandwiches and garden vegetables. It was after lunch when I was taking out
some garbage thru the back door that I came upon Evan and Adam, standing and talking.
"How was your house guest last night?" Adam asked Evan lightly, reaching out to tug on the end of my braid. "She give you any trouble?"
I knew Adam was only teasing, but I eyed Evan a bit warily. Wondering if he was going to say anything about how I'd acted. I'd been a pain-and even though
I'd apologized and all-I still wondered if Evan would say something. I didn't think he would, but still-I wasn't certain.
"A ton of trouble," Evan said, in answer, and Adam laughed. I could tell that Evan was only teasing, and that he wasn't going to talk about
my meltdown of the previous evening.
"That figures," Adam said.
I gave Evan a small grateful smile.
7
That afternoon, I brushed Petra and Old Charlie, and that made me feel peaceful. Guthrie was riding in the pasture just past the
barns and he whistled in greeting. I waved back at him, and then when Adam went to one of the sheds, I went over to him, curry comb still in
my hand.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey."
"How's your day?"
"Okay. I got everything done for Hannah that she needed."
"That's good," he said.
"Can I go for a ride?" I asked.
Adam paused, looking at me. "Have you done your homework?"
I shook my head. "Not yet."
"Have you started it?" he asked, pointedly.
"No. I've been busy, helping Hannah-"
"Harlie."
I stopped talking, looking at him.
"I know you've been helping Hannah. That's what I told you to do. And then, you're to do your school work. It's fine that you're tending to
your horses for a bit. But now it's time for you to get started on your homework." His tone was semi-stern.
"I was just taking a little break," I said, and regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth.
"And, I said that was fine." Now more sternly. "But I don't want you leaving the work any longer."
I sighed. "Alright," I said, and turned to go back to my horses.
"If you get all your school work finished, then you can ride tomorrow," Adam called after me as I walked away.
I answered him with an "okay" without turning around.
7
I spent the rest of the afternoon doing my assignments. Even though my grades are bad, I didn't really have all that much to
do as far as homework. I did vocabulary for psychology, and then muddled my way thru two trigonometry papers. I wished that Ford was
home so I could check with him on a few of them, because I still wasn't wanting to ask Crane for any particular help. I knew I was being
stubborn about that, but still-
I read ahead in Anatomy and then closed the book with a sigh. I felt the beginnings of a dull headache, and laid back on my bed
for awhile, staring up at the ceiling. I have to admit that my thoughts were straying to Eddie. He was so handsome, and so outgoing, and I
thought he might actually be interested in me, like he'd been last year before my brothers and he mutually decided that he was too old for me.
Of course I wasn't going to do anything about that possible interest...I was with Kenny, and I cared a lot about Kenny, too.
I could hear the house bustling with noise from downstairs and realized it must be getting close to supper time. I was hungry, and went down the
back steps to the kitchen. Clare was sitting at the table, peeling potatoes, and Hannah was coming up from the other stairs to the basement,
a full laundry basket in her arms.
They both greeted me, and I went to the refrigerator to pour myself a glass of milk. It was while I was doing that that Guthrie burst thru
the back door, going to the sink to wash his hands.
"What's for supper?" he asked.
"Meatloaf and mashed potatoes," Hannah told him.
Guthrie went to the cookie jar and reached in, bringing out a handful of oatmeal-raisin cookies. He hoisted himself up onto the cabinet,
eating the cookies. "Pour me a glass of milk, will ya, Har?" he said.
"I don't have a glass," I told him.
In response, Guthrie turned just slightly, opened a cabinet door, and took down a glass, handing it towards me with a flourish.
I went to take it from him, and then returned to the refrigerator, pouring him his milk.
"I'm not your servant," I informed him, handing him the full glass.
Guthrie took a big gulp, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sure, you are," he said, lightly, and reached for more cookies.
"Guthrie, don't eat all those," Hannah told him, without any real conviction. "We're going to eat in an hour."
"It's not gonna ruin my appetite," Guthrie told her, with a grin.
I reached for a banana, peeling it and sitting down at the table to eat and drink my own milk.
"Are you going out with Kristen tonight?" Clare asked Guthrie.
"Nah," Guthrie said, taking another drink.
Hannah paused in her task of putting the two large pans of meatloaf into the oven.
"You haven't been seeing her as much lately, have you?" she asked.
Guthrie shrugged. "I guess not."
I could feel my own questions brewing. I felt a moment of guilt. I hadn't had a real talk with Kristen in-well, in a few weeks.
"Is she okay?" I asked.
"You know how it is, at her house," Guthrie said. "Always some b.s. going on there."
"She really has a rough time," Hannah said, sounding sad.
After a few minutes, the topic changed from Kristen to what two classes I was thinking to take to replace the time that I would
normally be gone to work study.
Clare was the one who asked me, and it didn't bother me at first, because, well, because it was Clare who was doing the asking. And, too,
I didn't mind discussing it in front of Guthrie.
"Mr. Best said I could tell him on Monday," I said. "There's enough class space in most of the electives, he said, so any of them would
probably be okay."
"What about chorus?" Hannah suggested.
"Yes, you might enjoy that," Clare added.
"I don't think so," I said.
"You have such a good voice, though," Clare said, and I shrugged.
"You could do marching band," Guthrie tossed in.
"No," I said, firmly.
"Why not? You could play the tuba," Guthrie said, and held his hands and puffed out his cheeks to mime playing a giant tuba.
"Stop," I told him, giving him 'the eye'.
"Awe, come on. I could be the only guy in Murphys, probably in the whole county, who has a sister who can play the tuba," Guthrie
carried on with a huge grin.
"Shut it, Guthrie," I said, and he laughed.
"What are you thinking of, then?" Hannah asked. She was asking me nicely, too,
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Crane will have ideas," Guthrie offered, and that got my attention. I was suddenly put off by the topic and I got up, going to
throw my banana peel into the trash can.
"I'm sure he will," I said, my better mood evaporated.
I could feel Hannah watching me. She was adept at reading my moods.
"Harlie, whatever you choose will be fine," she said.
I paused at the back door, to look at her and nod. "Thanks," I said.
I was halfway across the yard, almost to the orchard, when Guthrie caught up to me.
For a few minutes, we walked in silence. "I was just kidding around with ya," he told me.
"I know. It's okay," I told him. "But, I'm not gonna play the tuba in the marching band," I added, jabbing my elbow into his
ribs.
"Things are gonna get better for ya," Guthrie said. "You'll see, Har. They will."
"Maybe," I conceded. I did appreciate his encouragement and support, though. Thinking of how Guthrie is, how he always has my back, made
me think of Kristen, and her brother, Buddy, and how different he is than Guthrie.
"What's happening with Kristen?" I asked him.
"Her mom lost her job," Guthrie said.
"Oh, no," I said.
"Yeah. Kristen's been helping her fill out job applications to different places," Guthrie said.
"Oh." I had the sudden, nearly overwhelming realization that I'd been a very poor friend of late. I'd been so busy and wrapped in
my own issues and problems that I hadn't even known what was going on in Kristen's life.
"Yeah."
"Is Frank there? And Buddy?"
"They're both there. Buddy's working a little, over in Angels Camp. But, I don't think he's giving much towards the bills," Guthrie said.
"Maybe we could take them some groceries or something," I said. "We could talk to everybody-"
"I thought of that, too," Guthrie said. "I even said somethin' to Kristen about it. But, she said she'd rather go without than have
all the family start giving charity."
"That's dumb," I said.
"Well, that's how she feels," Guthrie said. "You've never been in that position, so you can't really say, Har."
He was right in a way. That I knew. Still...
"I paid her school lunch fees," Guthrie went on. "I mean, I gave her the money so she could pay them herself, and nobody would know. She
did let me do that for her."
I stopped walking, to look at Guthrie. "That was good of you, Guth."
"It's no big thing," Guthrie said.
"It is a big thing," I insisted. "There's got to be something for me to do, too."
"Don't tell her I told you about it all," Guthrie said. "She doesn't want anybody to know."
"I'm not just anybody, though," I said, stung. I knew that I hadn't been the best of friend lately to Kristen, but still-
"She knows that," Guthrie said. "She knows you care."
Guthrie changed the subject as we headed back to the house again. "I think I'm meeting Trent at Butch's for awhile tonight. Lori will probably
be there, too. You wanna go with?"
"You know I can't," I said, feeling my mood sink again.
"Maybe you could," Guthrie said. "If you showed Crane all your homework that's done, then maybe him and Adam might say it's okay."
A tiny glimmer of hope sprung up. "Crane said Kenny couldn't come over, though, even if I got everything finished. So, he probably won't let
me go into Butch's with you."
"He probably thinks you wouldn't really be finished with everything this early in the weekend. You can show him. Maybe the shock of it will
get to him," Guthrie said, and jabbed his elbow into my ribs.
"You think?" I asked, still feeling that glimmer of hope.
"Maybe so. Ask him to look over all your work. Be real sweet. Be respectful. You know-be totally unlike your usual self," Guthrie said, with a guffaw.
7