I'm Beginning to Fall Apart
Kai's sucking the life out of him. He calls on him no matter what time of the day it is. He makes him run around the entire campus, sometimes during classes, for the smallest, most insignificant things.
"Get me a cup of coffee."
"Advil"
"Take these books to Ian."
"There's too much sugar in this. Throw it away and bring me another one."
"I don't have a pen."
"I need more A4s."
"Mark my words," Tyson flops down on the stone-turned-bench beside Eddie. "I'm going to kill him before the end of this week."
"You got yourself into this mess, mate," he munches on a chip, watching girls walking around the courtyard. "There's no saving you."
"I don't need saving. He's the one who'll need to be saved from me." Tyson draws his phone out from his pocket with a heavy exhale. He has two notifications. He opens the one at the top.
'Julia Fernandez liked your post'
Tyson frowns at the screen. "Eddie?" he calls his friend.
"Yeah"
"I think I'm seeing things."
Eddie looks over. Reads the notif. Nearly inhales the chip into his windpipe. "Hol-" he starts coughing and wheezing. Michael arrives just in time to see him heaving.
"Whoa whoa" He stoops to help him. "Dude, slow down."
Eddie waves him off. "It's not that, it's-" he points toward Tyson, who is still gawking at his last Instagram post.
"What's going on?" asks Mike.
Eddie survives.
"I think," Tyson begins slowly, having a hard time wrapping his head around the information. "Julia liked my selfie."
Michael stands up straight. "Julia?" he repeats. "Julia Julia?" he turns to Eddie who nods in confirmation, barely able to believe it himself.
"Dude" Mike scampers around their legs to sidle up to Tyson's other side. He grabs the phone out of his hand and verifies the like. "It's really her," he says in a whisper, eyes jumbo-sized.
"Oh my god, Tyson, you know what this means, right?"
"What? What does it mean?" Tyson's almost vibrating in excitement.
"She's interested in you." Eddie grips his thigh. Squeezes it. His face looks like it's about to pop.
Tyson's flabbergasted. He touches his own mug and chest to make sure he's physically still inside his own body. That this is actually happening. Because he can see his soul flying in the air.
Streaking across the sky in bottomless happiness.
They're still fussing over the like when Tyson catches her walking across the courtyard wearing fancy jean shorts, jacket hanging off her shoulders. Checkered sleeveless top underneath. Six inch heels on her boots. Long hair dancing in the air behind her.
A goddess in human form.
Julia's gaze cuts to him.
Tyson's lips part as his breath arrests.
She gives him a flirty smile.
His eyebrows rise in surprise. He returns the grin.
She looks away, smile growing.
The boys lose their minds next to him as Tyson stares after her in a daze.
His phone rings loudly.
Tyson glances down at the caller. 'Dick is calling'.
Not this ass again. Not now.
Michael and Eddie laugh at his misery.
"What?" he barks into the phone.
"Bring me a glass of water."
The fuck?
"Where are you?"
"Where I'm usually at. Get your ass over here now."
Where he usually is is at the main block where the business department is. His major - the asshole's major - is business studies.
Tyson hates him.
Because Tyson's majoring in business too but he's in the normal program because he barely passed the Toho University entrance examination whereas Kai is in the advanced program because he got a nearly perfect score on the test and ranked at the very top. It's crazy.
He didn't know a brain could fit in with all the massive ego inside his head.
And how does Tyson know this piece of info?
Well, he may have done some research on Kai. With the help of his brilliant hacker friend Kenny. But nobody needs to know that.
"Excuse me" Tyson gets up when the call cuts. "I have a job to do." He walks toward the building like a man heading to his execution.
"Good luck!" Michael shouts after him.
"Do your worst!" yells Eddie.
Tyson pastes on a garishly fake smile as he climbs onto the third floor and finds Kai in the lounge area. Leafing through a book. Tala typing away on his phone beside him. There's a water cooler right next to where Kai is sitting. It's so close to him it's almost touching his elbow propped on the arm rest of the plush chair.
He stands and glares daggers at him, fists clenched at his sides. This motherfucker.
Tyson hurls every bad word he can think of at him. In his head of course. Because the tape in his possession is a slight issue.
He moves toward the dispenser like his body's made of bricks. He stares down at the jackass who is extremely busy studying as he separates a disposable cup from a stack of them on top of the inverted can. He has to consciously stop himself from crushing the small cup in his hand. Kai's reading about what seems like a passage on trends in the economy and how to analyze them. The water nearly overflows the cup but his attention snaps back to it in time.
Tyson leans against the cooler as he holds it out to the extraordinarily diligent student. "Here you go," he says in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Your water."
"Refer to me as 'sir'" he tells him without lifting his gaze, accepting the cup from Tyson's hand.
"You're joking"
"I'm not" Kai looks up.
He hears a low chuckle coming from Tala's direction.
Tyson stares at him. His ruby tinged black irises. It's the most beautiful pair of eyes he's ever seen. And he hates them more than anything else when they're trained on him.
He musters up another painstakingly happy smile. "Sure" he agrees, chirpily. "Sir" he adds.
Kai's lips quiver the slightest bit, like he's suppressing laughter. He drinks the water from the cup whilst holding Tyson's gaze.
"You may go" he tells him.
Tyson pulls his full weight back on his feet after a beat. He sighs as he turns. Then spots Max coming down the hallway leading into the lounge.
He wags his eyebrows in greeting when he sees Tyson.
"Hey"
His smile wanes when he notices the two Blitzkriegs. And his friend's tired appearance. Max was holding onto the books in his arms with both hands but he releases one to grab Tyson's as he passes by him, and pulls him along to the corridor leading to the staircase.
"What's wrong?" Max rounds on him as soon as they're out of the Russians' earshot. "Why do you look so worn down?"
Tyson sags against the wall behind him. "Kai's making me run errands for him. Day and night."
Max shifts on his legs confused. "Why?"
"It's this whole thing with a sex tape. He filmed Hilary and was planning to release it because I punched him."
"You traded in yourself instead?" he asks, connecting the dots quickly.
Tyson nods.
"Urgh" Max musses up his hair in frustration. "He has a sex tape? What kind of horrible- He calls you in the middle of the night too?"
"Yeah"
"While you're sleeping?"
"Yeah"
"How heartless"
"I can't keep this up for a year, Max," he shows his weariness to him of all of his friends because Max always comforts him. And he doesn't have to be so strong in front of him. With Hilary, he has to be the more solid one in the relationship. With the Americans he has to be fun and cool. With Rei he has to be mature and patient. With Emily he has to be level-headed.
With Max and only with Max, he can afford to be vulnerable.
"A year?" he gasps. "You promised him a year?"
Tyson nods.
Max stares at him worried. "Is there no way you can negotiate? Change the terms? A year is too long. It's insane. A liability for both you and him."
"I know"
"Can't you talk to him?" he asks.
"Renegotiate?" He considers it.
"Yeah. When you catch him in a good mood or something. You have to try because you're already looking haggard."
Tyson folds his arms and thinks. Attempting to come up with a plan. "He makes me sing to him on certain nights," he admits to Max in a quiet whisper.
His friend's eyes get bigger. "That's..." he trails, unsure what to make of it. "Strange" he settles on at last.
"Yeah" Tyson drops his gaze. Rubbing a finger under his nose.
Max stares at him. "You're not a good singer though," he comments, scrunching his nose.
"I can make him fall asleep," Tyson says, meaning to boast about his new found vocal prowess, but when it comes out it sounds all kinds of wrong.
Max gapes. "What?" He steps closer. Conspiratorily. "What? For real?" he asks, lowering his voice when Tyson hangs his head in embarrassment.
"Yeah" he admits sheepishly, a weird heat creeping in his stomach.
A slow, entertained grin curves across Max's face as he imagines the scenario in his head. "Every time?"
"What?" Tyson looks at him.
"Does he fall asleep every time you sing to him?"
There's that heat in his stomach again. "Yeah, like three songs in."
"How many times have you done it so far?"
"Two" he counts in his head. He doesn't make him sing on the nights he was particularly rude to him. Tyson doesn't think he'll be able to hit a single note if he is asked to sing on a night he is unbearably mad at Kai. And he doesn't think Kai could relax enough around someone he fought with violently on the same day either. "Three"
He's done it three times in the last eight days.
That's a disturbing fact.
Max is grinning. "This is so crazy. You can talk to him then."
"No, I can't. We don't talk when we're alone. I just sing." He replays the words he just said in his head. "I can't believe I just said that. What am I doing singing?"
"Yeah" he cracks up. "What are you doing singing?"
"Hey, I can do it decently as long as there are no high notes involved."
Max cannot stop laughing. He has a hand pinching the bridge of his nose. When he finally calms down he says, "You should try. All jokes aside, you can't keep this up for a year. You need to find a way to make him agree to a smaller time period. One more week is manageable, but any longer than that is suicide."
Tyson's phone chimes with a new text.
09:45 Dick: 'Do you expect me to dispose of the cup myself?'
He curses. Holds up the phone for Max to read the screen.
He shakes his head at the message.
"You better go."
"Bye" Tyson trudges off, eyes rolling to the back of his head.
21:53 Dick: 'Where the fuck are you? I have an essay to submit.'
Tyson rings their door bell at 2200. Tala answers. Lollipop stick poking out one side of his lips.
He slides it out of his mouth with an audible pop as he moves aside for him to enter.
"He's in the hall," Tala informs him, a laugh hidden in his words.
"Thanks" Tyson grumbles, shuffling into the house, eyes half-shut in exhaustion.
When he reaches the hall, he notes that there are two voices in the room. One male. One female.
That's not good.
He eyes the back of the grey sofa set. He can see the top of Kai's head. He's speaking in soft tones. Velvety murmurs.
Oh no.
Tyson rounds the long sectional stiffly, veiled apprehension on his face.
He recognizes the girl immediately. It's Kristina. Kristina from Science department. A third year.
She has her gorgeous face resting on Kai's shoulder, snuggling to him, as they sit close together on the armless loveseat in the middle. Kai's in a casual black tee. Face newly shaven. His gaze lifts to him.
"The strontium almost got her eyebrows," Kristina's saying to him, a beautiful grin on her features.
Kai gestures toward the laptop placed on the ottoman in the center. A stack of papers resting atop the device. "The essay's in the paper. Type it up."
Why write the essay in A4s when you can save time and effort by typing it on a laptop instead?
Tyson takes a seat on the long chair on the left and draws the computer and papers into his lap.
He opens up the device and starts typing in Word, copying the essay line by line.
The soft conversation carries on on his right.
"The lab gets so stuffy sometimes," says Kristina, her voice low. "They could install an air conditioner or two. It won't hurt."
"Money's not the issue," he replies in a hushed tone. "The management simply doesn't care. If you want their attention you're going to have to put in more effort into your protests. Don't let them shut you down so easily. Garner more support. There are kids simply looking for a reason to cause trouble. You're rallying the wrong people."
"Science majors are nerds. You can't find a lot of spunk in them." Tyson looks up at Kristina just in time to see her playing with Kai's ear. Gaze appreciative as she drags a pointy nail down his bicep. She leans into whisper something dirty and Tyson redirects his attention.
The essay is boring. And long. Kai's handwriting is neat. The characters bold and imposing. The tone of his arguments in the paper is sharp. Clear cut and straight to the point.
Tyson types it up with annoyance curling on his lips.
"Where would I find the right people?" Kristina teases Kai, cooing at him. He turns his head to look at her, a hint of a smile on his face. He captures her lips in a passionate kiss.
"Mm" she hums in pleasure.
Shit.
Kai's hand tangles in her caramel brown hair.
No.
Tyson prays they don't do more than kissing, but the way things are going, he's not so optimistic.
Kristina's moans get louder. Kai lets go of her hair, to slip his hand under her skirt.
She breaks away. His head dips to her tan neck. "Oh" Her nails dig into his arm. Over his tattoos. "Yes"
Tyson's cheeks heat. His heart beat picks up. His eyes are on the screen but he can see them, in the periphery. Can see Kai's arm working under her skirt. Her wrecked moans echoing through the room.
Kristina lies down, unable to hold herself up any longer. Kai flicks the buttons of her shirt open, revealing her tan skin. Her black bra.
Oh my god.
If they fuck on the couch, Tyson will die.
He has to escape.
Now.
He tries to get up, but the laptop snags. It's plugged in to the socket attached to the bottom of the corner chair. The battery's low. Shit.
"Where are you going?" he hears a rough voice ask.
Tyson sets down the laptop as he shifts his gaze to Kai. He's kneeling over her on the sofa. His eyes dark. The fingers he'd used to touch her braced against the edge of the leather seat, slick with wetness.
Yuck
He's never sitting there again.
Tyson swallows bile.
"Sit down" Kai orders him. His eyes not missing a thing.
Tyson drops back into the sofa. God, did he fuck on this couch too? Is that something they all do? Are his pants touching Russian cum right now?
He wants to die.
Tyson pulls the laptop toward him again. He still has two more pages to type. It's a ten thousand word essay but it feels like eighty.
"What is he doing here?" he hears Kristina breathe to Kai.
"Nothing to concern yourself with," he distracts her with a kiss.
The moans pick back up. And Tyson. Tyson who has not touched a girl, or been touched by one, in almost a year. Tyson, who has had no sexual contact of any kind and has not watched anyone fuck, in months, cannot stop himself from reacting to the sounds of kisses and gasps.
Kai makes her cum, her spine curving off the sofa.
Tyson grows hard.
He picks her up as soon as she's done, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the couch in one smooth motion. Like she weighed absolutely nothing. Tyson tries not to look up as Kai carries her off to his bedroom, whispering indecipherable things to her. Kristina's breathy chuckles haunt Tyson.
It just so happens that Kai's bedroom is right next to the hall. The glazed wall facing him, a little to the left, with the top half frosted in stripes and the bottom half transparent glass, offers a window of view into Kai's room.
He can see the bottom edge of the bed with the dark brown sheets. And a bit of empty space next to it.
Tyson keeps his eyes on the screen. On the essay. He types. His body slightly heated, a part of him erect. But perfectly fine otherwise.
He concentrates. He does his best.
For about five minutes.
He steals a furtive glance at the room. Out of curiosity because he cannot hear them anymore.
He shouldn't have.
It's a big mistake.
He cannot discern their faces. But Kristina's spread out naked on the sheets. The side of her beautiful tan body facing Tyson. Knees up. Feet on the bed. She's touching herself. Her hands caressing her curves as she waits for him.
He can see the lower half of Kai's defined torso. He's standing on the floor before her. Unbuckling his belt. A visible bulge at the front of his jeans.
Her hands descend down her own body, as she opens her legs for him.
Tyson yanks the cord out of the laptop's charging port and gathers everything in his arms.
He runs out of the hall.
Into the kitchen.
Drops the device and the papers on the island before scampering towards the bathroom.
He cannot take it anymore.
He shuts the door behind him as soon as he's inside and leans against it.
Eyes closing shut as he undoes his fly and wraps a hand around himself.
A moan almost escapes his throat as he finally finds some sweet friction.
His dick is rock hard. Throbbing against his fingers. Images of them both flash through his mind in a frenzy. It doesn't take more than five feverish strokes for him to come.
Thighs squeezing. Knees buckling. Stars exploding behind his eyelids.
His head knocks against the wood as he comes down from the high. Taking long gulps of air. His body singing with the aftershocks.
The bathroom is quiet around him.
His pants are loud.
Tyson collects himself. Zips up his jeans and walks to the sink to wash his hands.
He catches the sight of him in the wide mirror. His cheeks are flushed. Eyes bright. Lips red.
He inhales deeply. Calming his nerves. The cool water rushing over his fingers feel blissfully refreshing. He splashes some over his hot face.
He shuts the tap.
Tyson takes a moment to find his bearings, fingers on the edges of the sink.
Okay
You're okay
The weariness is beginning to tug at the edges of his soul by the time he finishes the essay and Kai walks out of his room some thirty minutes later.
That darned white shirt covering his shoulders again. Buttons left open.
"Are you done?" he asks.
"Yes" answers Tyson, refusing to look at him for a second longer.
Kai steps up to the counter where he's sitting on a bar stool. Fingers intertwined under his chin as he stares at the screen.
Tyson feels his gaze on him.
"Why'd you leave the hall? I told you to stay there."
"I-" he senses his anger returning. "I didn't want to sit on that dirty couch with your cum all over it."
Tyson flinches when Kai reaches for his chin.
"Don't touch me," he snaps, moving away out of impulse.
Before he's reminded of the tape.
Kai takes his chin again, gently. His hand is warm. And dry. Tyson doesn't move. "You should thank me," says Kai, "It's the closest you'll get to having sex in a while, Granger." He swipes the pad of his thumb over Tyson's parted lips. Smearing whatever was on it on his mouth.
Tyson knocks his hand off.
Shocked. Disgusted. Hurt.
Kai walks away, smirking, as Tyson vehemently wipes the gunk off his mouth with the back of his hands.
"Clean the couch," he tells him. "And my sheets."
Tyson jumps off the stool to wash his hands in the sink.
Asshole. Dickhead. Jackass. Motherfucker. He calls him every other insult he knows, but it's all he can do.
The door has been left open. Tyson enters fearing the smell of sex. It's there. But it's overpowered by Kai's own scent. Heady. And masculine.
He's ripping the sheets off the bed with reluctance when Kristina steps out of the en suite bathroom.
"Hey" she greets, adjusting her blouse. "Who are you? I wanted to ask you earlier but I was a bit, you know, preoccupied."
She smiles at him as she picks up her handbag off Kai's shelf and loops the strap over a shoulder.
Tyson straightens. The bedding held far from his body with gloved hands. "I'm no one," he says, not exactly in the mood to socialize.
He's walking out of the room when he hears her say, "You can't be no one if you're important enough for Kai to wonder what you're doing when he's having sex with me."
Tyson halts. Looks over his shoulder at her. Having a hard time processing the information. "He's weird as fuck," he says, more to himself than to Kristina.
She shakes her head, disagreeing with a smile.
Tyson takes the sheets to the small laundry room behind the kitchen. He's stuffed them in and turned on the washing machine when Kai joins him in the tiny space.
Freshly showered and in comfy clothes. Smelling of bath gels.
Tyson peels off the gloves on his hands.
Kai takes them from him without saying a word.
Tyson wonders what he's doing, taking too long to react, and it costs him when Kai throws them in the bin under a table next to the washer.
"What are you doing?" he asks, shouting. "They're mine!"
He's sleep deprived. At the end of his wits. It's almost midnight. And Kai chooses now to be an asshole.
He holds up his hands, blocking Tyson with his body when he tries to get at the bin. "They're gloves," he tells him placatingly. "Disposable gloves. What else were you going to do with them?"
"I just ran to a store to buy them. I'm tired. You can't just throw them in the bin. I'm not loaded like you to throw shit I bought with hard-earned money."
Kai tries to open his mouth. To reason with him.
"There are no jewels in our ancestral treasury, Kai!"
"They're just gloves," he repeats softly when there's a gap. "I can buy you a new pair-"
"I don't want anything from you," he replies savagely, completely fatigued.
Silence settles between them.
Shit. He was supposed to talk him into letting him off sooner. That doesn't seem likely to happen now.
Tyson tries to steer around him.
"Where are you going?"
"Home" he grumbles.
"It's raining. You'll get soaked. Unless you have an umbrella."
Tyson gives him a wry smile. "I don't mind getting soaked. It's better than staying here."
There's a small window opened in the room. Rain softly patters on the ground outside. Cool air wafting in.
"You can't go," says Kai. "There are corrections to be made in the essay. You messed up a few spellings."
He checked the copy? Tyson rubs his tired eyes. Then sighs.
Kai leads him back to the kitchen. He sits at the counter while Kai leans beside him, watching him work on the document.
"You're careless," he notes.
"I'm sleep-deprived, thanks to you."
Kristina enters the kitchen to say goodbye to Kai. She pecks him lightly on the cheek before leaving. He's so tall she has to rise up to her toes even with platform heels on.
Kai goes around the counter to make some coffee once she's gone.
Tyson catches the errors he made, and corrects them diligently. Sniffling lightly. He feels like he's coming down with a cold. His body starting to ache in places.
Kai returns with a steaming mug, and stands next to him as he drinks.
Tyson shoots him a nasty look.
He holds the mug out to him. In front of his face.
He's really had enough.
"I could just kick you to death, you know," he threatens, getting off the chair.
Kai takes a sip of his coffee. "You're welcome to try, Granger," he says smugly.
His utter lack of reaction to bodily harm makes Tyson second guess him. The boxing gloves with the extremely specific set of requirements he'd been asked to buy comes to his mind. What were the gloves for?
The order had been precise. Like he regularly purchased a pair and knew what suited him best.
Do you fight? In a ring? he wants to ask. But refrains.
Instead he wrestles the coffee out of his hand and drinks from the same mug he drank from. Taking huge mouthfuls out of childish petulance.
When there's only a small amount left he thrusts it back at him and sits down.
Kai hides a smile, finishing the rest of it in one swing.
Tyson ends up falling asleep on top of the counter.
Kai drapes a blanket over his head.
When Tala returns from his nightly prowl and spots the sleeping boy he gasps dramatically in delight.
He quickly takes out a pen and leans to draw on him.
"Don't" Kai warns from the sectional, working on his essay.
Tala deflates. Disappointed. "Why?" he asks him as he passes Kai. "Have you seen the face? It's begging for a sharpie."
He holds up a hand as soon as Kai opens his mouth.
"I know, I know. Your toy. Save your breath. I'm not going to do anything. Jesus." He disappears down the hall.