I approached school differently the next day. I went at it with a real positive attitude. Even during study hall at the end of the day, when the
chaos and talking was so loud that it was nearly impossible to concentrate, I sat, with my head over my Anatomy worksheet, filling out
vocabulary, doggedly doing my best to tune out the noise.
Kristen was at school that day, but she avoided our table at lunch. I thought about skipping lunch myself to go and hunt for her so we
could talk. But, I was still doing better with no headaches, and skipping lunch wasn't a wise idea. I did eat faster than usual, and then told Kenny
that I was going to go and see if I could find Kristen.
Guthrie heard me saying that to Kenny, and he kept his eyes on me, and said, as I stood up, "Don't go chasin' after her."
In front of Trent and Lori, and Kenny, too, Guthrie said that.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm not," I said. I mean, we're all friends in our group, and I knew they all liked Kristen and were
maybe even concerned about her, too, but Guthrie was stepping over a line of privacy here.
"Why don't ya just leave her be?" Guthrie went on.
"Guthrie, mind your business," I said. I said it low, but I said it.
"You're the one that needs to mind your business," he countered.
"Guth. Stop." I gave him a nasty look. I mean, it was a mean glare. The rest of the table went silent at the tension radiating
between us. For sure none of them has heard Guthrie and I scrap much, or even exchange cross words.
Guthrie held up a hand, as though to say 'whatever. you think you're the smart one here'.
I said, "See you later," to Lori, and then told Kenny, "Call me tonight, if you can."
Kenny nodded, and said, "Sure."
I was so mad at Guthrie that I could feel anger pulsing thru me. I headed straight to the library, and found Kristen
tucked into one of the corners. It's a table and chair in a corner that is blocked from the librarian's desk by a wall. She was eating from
a tray from the cafeteria. Or, she'd been eating, anyway. Most of the food on the tray was gone. There was a cookie and some pineapple
left.
I slid into the second chair. "Hi," I said.
"Hi, Harlie."
I studied her face without trying to stare. Her cheek was still sort of red looking, but the fingerprints had faded away a bit.
"How come you're sitting in here by yourself?" I asked.
Kristen broke off a piece of the cookie and put it in her mouth. "Because I want to be by myself."
Was that meant for me? I plunged ahead, anyway.
"Tomorrow I'll eat in here with you," I offered.
"Just stay with the group."
I hesitated. She wouldn't look at me.
"Come over tonight," I urged. "You can ride home with me. I drove myself today."
"I've got things to do," she said.
I was really wondering by now, how I should handle this? Should I keep pushing her? Or was Guthrie right about leaving
her alone?
"Hannah's gonna make meatloaf for supper, I think," I said, as if I hadn't heard what she'd just said about having things to do.
"She's a good cook," Kristen said. The first thing she'd said so far that wasn't tinged with wariness or anger or whatever.
"Yeah. She is." I paused. "Isaac's gotten so big since you saw him."
"I was there a couple weeks ago, Harlie," she reminded me.
"Yeah. But he grows so fast. Hannah says he needs to get a haircut."
There was a bit of silence, and then Kristen asked, "How is it, not being in the work program?"
"It's not so good," I admitted. "But-I'm trying to have a better attitude about it."
"Mmm," Kristen said.
"So-will you come home with me today?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"Please, Kris?" I said. "Nobody will ask you anything you don't want to talk about. I promise."
"Oh. So-they're not going to ask me about why Guthrie and I aren't going out anymore? Or about why I have a giant red
mark on my face? Or about do we have any money since my mom lost her job? They're not going to ask any of that stuff?" Kristen said, sharply.
I caught my breath at the sudden spurt of venom in her tone.
"Not if you don't want them to," I said, quietly.
"I don't know, Harlie. Maybe," she said.
"Okay. I'll meet you by my truck after school," I said, taking her maybe as a yes.
I stood up before she could take it back, and say no.
"See you later," I said, and left the library fast.
7
Kristen wasn't waiting by my truck after school when I got outside. I saw Guthrie walking across the parking lot with Trent and Lonnie Briggs.
I thought I would have given him a heads up about Kristen being at our house tonight. I mean-I would have, but after his lunchtime attitude, I wasn't
sure I wanted to. Still-it might save some awkwardness at the house if I did.
I was leaning against my truck door, and the stream of kids leaving in their trucks and cars was passing me. I saw Guthrie's truck
approaching in the line, and he pulled in beside me, and then he leaned over in his truck seat to roll down the passenger window so he
could talk to me.
Only he didn't. Talk right off, I mean. He just looked at me, and then looked forward again, at the kids running around the outside track.
Finally, he said, "What're you doin', just standin' there?"
"I'm waiting for Kristen," I said. There. If he wanted to make a quick break for it, then he could.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
More silence.
"I asked her to come over for supper," I told him.
"You did?"
"Yeah," I said, in a sort of challenge.
"Is she comin'?" Guthrie asked. He didn't sound particularly bothered by the fact that Kristen may be eating with us.
"I think so."
"Oh," he said, again. Then-"Well, I guess I'll see ya at home, then."
"Okay."
He still sat there, though, staring out the windshield. "She's messed up, Har."
I was quiet at that, wrinkling my forehead.
"Her home life is messed up," I said, in agreement.
"No," Guthrie said, and then turned to look out the passenger window at me again. "I mean-yeah, it is messed up at home
for her-but that's not what I meant."
I stepped over closer to his truck, laying my hands on the open passenger window.
"What do you mean, then?" I asked him.
Guthrie sighed. Then, he pointed out the windshield. "Here she comes," he said. "I'll see ya at home, alright?"
"Alright," I said, stepping back away from his truck, and he backed out, and drove off.
Kristen walked over to me slowly.
"Hi!" I said, cheerfully.
"I'm not sure about this," she said.
"Don't stress," I told her. "It's just supper."
"What's Guthrie going to say?"
"I told him already. He's fine with it," I said.
"He said that? That he's fine with it?" Kristen specified.
"Yep. That's what he said," I said, lying my butt off, and hoping God didn't strike me down for it.
"Well, okay."
"Let's go," I said, and we both got into my truck, and I started the engine. "I'm gonna stop at the vet office for a few minutes, okay? I
want to say hi to Ivy."
"Sure, okay," Kristen said, with a shrug, as though she didn't care what we did.
I noticed that she wasn't carrying a backpack or anything, and I said, "Don't you have homework?"
Kristen gave me sort of a funny look. "I'm just putting in my time, Harlie. I don't make any great effort any more. Like homework. That's
effort."
"Oh. I understand that," I said, thinking to my own past attitude about school work. "I mean-getting kicked out of the work
program really soured me on school."
We were nearly to the vet office, when I said, "Did you let your mom know? That you were coming over to our house?"
"Mom won't be looking for me," Kristen said, sort of vague.
I wondered, but I dropped any more questions.
At the vet office, I parked, and we got out, going in, with the bell ringing over the door. Ivy happened to be in the front office,
opening one of the file cabinet drawers.
Her face lit up in one of her beautiful smiles, and she came around the desk to greet me.
"I've been missing you," she said, giving me a side hug.
"I miss you, too," I said.
"What's up?"
"I just wanted to come say hello," I said.
"I'm so glad you did." Ivy looked at Kristen, who was standing there, silent. "Hello. I'm Ivy."
"Hi," Kristen said.
"This is Kristen," I said, by way of introduction.
"It's nice to meet you," Ivy told her, with a warm smile.
After that, we helped Ivy with a couple of things around the office. Well-I helped with the horses, feeding and watering, but Kristen
didn't. She stayed inside with the kittens that had come from the litter that Ivy's cat had given birth to. There were four of them, and when
Ivy and I came back inside thru the back, Kristen was still there, sitting on the dusty floor, letting the kittens crawl all over her. She
was actually smiling, too.
"They're so cute," she gushed.
"They are," Ivy said in agreement. "They need homes. If you hear of anyone wanting a kitten, let me know, will you, Harlie?"
"Sure, I will," I said, kneeling down beside Kristen and gathering one of the kittens up to my cheek.
"I'd love to have one," Kristen said.
"Really?" Ivy asked. "Well, you're welcome to, if you'd like. If it's alright with your parents."
"Not a problem," Kristen said, and Ivy gave me a questioning look over the top of Kristen's lowered head.
I couldn't explain Kristen's home situation to Ivy right then, so instead I said, "Kristen would take good care of the
kitten."
Kristen gave me a smile that reminded me of the way that she was before the last few months. "I would!" she told Ivy. "If you
let me, I will take such good care of it!"
"Well, they're weaned and ready to go to a home," Ivy said. "Pick the one you want and I'll go and pack up some supplies for you, until
you have a chance to get some things bought."
"Thank you," Kristen said, and Ivy said, "No problem," and went off to gather things.
"That's so nice of her," Kristen said, cuddling her chosen kitten.
"Ivy's the best," I said.
Kristen got to her feet, and I petted the kittens once more before I stood up, too.
Kristen was already in the truck, holding her kitten, when I was saying goodbye to Ivy.
"I'm so glad you came by, " Ivy said.
"It felt good to be here," I admitted. "Really good."
Ivy paused. "Would you want to come in on Saturdays? In the mornings, maybe?"
I stared at her, hope rising inside like a tidal wave. "Yes, I want to!" I hesitated. "But I don't know what the guys will say-"
"I know. It's too soon," Ivy said.
"I'm doing better," I said. "My progress report was a lot better-but it's only been a week or so."
"Right. I just wanted to make certain it was something you'd want to do," Ivy said. "Crane knows I was going to ask you."
"He does?" I asked, hopeful again. Surely, Ivy wouldn't have asked me about it if Crane had put a kibosh on the whole idea.
"I wanted to talk to him about it first," Ivy said. "I didn't want to over step my bounds." She smiled one of those beautiful smiles
at me. "I gotta stay on his good side, too. You know?"
I gave Ivy an impulsive hug. "Yes, definitely. You gotta. What did he say about it?"
"That it was early days yet, but that he's open to it," Ivy said, and I hugged her again, with glee.
"Yea!"
"So keep working hard," Ivy said.
"I will," I promised.
Ivy nodded towards my truck, and Kristen. "Will her parents be alright with her bringing home a kitten?"
"She doesn't have to ask permission for much of anything," I said.
"Oh."
"Her home life is bad," I said, by way of explanation. "She doesn't have any rules or anything."
"Or any stability," Ivy added, and I nodded at her perception.
"No. No stability," I agreed.
Ivy and I said our goodbyes, and Kristen and I headed towards the ranch.
"I'm a little nervous," Kristen said, as I parked and we got out.
"You don't need to be," I said.
"Trust me, Harlie. If you were me, you'd be nervous."
"Well, maybe so," I said. "But the family loves you. Don't forget that."
"I'll try to remember that, while it's all awkward and stuff," Kristen said, and I laughed. I hadn't heard Kristen be funny in
a really long time.
I dropped my stuff in the living room, just as Hannah was coming down the stairs, carrying Isaac.
Her smile lit up. "Hello!"
I went to give Isaac a kiss. "Hey. Kristen's staying for supper. I told her you were making meatloaf."
"Is it okay?" Kristen asked, tentatively.
Hannah stepped on down, closer to us, and gave Kristen's arm a squeeze. "Of course! It's good to see you."
I hesitated, wondering what to do. I had chores. And homework. But, yet I didn't want Kristen to be left hanging, either. Feeling
out of place.
"You can go. Do what you need to," Hannah told me, knowing full well what I was thinking.
"Well-" I began.
"Harlie. Scoot," Hannah said. "Kristen can help me in the kitchen."
And that was that.
7
First, it's slow typing. I fell a week and half ago and broke my arm in a couple places. Had surgery to put a plate in last week. It's my writing
hand, but it could have been worse.
Secondly, RIP Drake Hogestyn. He had many long term acting jobs, but he'll always be Brian McFadden to me.
"Oh.