Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile suit Gundam Seed or Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny.

AN: I've had a lot of comments on how I'm beating pretty heavily on Lord Izumi Nara Athha; especially how he isn't the only reason Cagalli and Kira didn't know they were twins. I will only say this. In the series we as observers know that the Yamatos are aware of the situation and are even more reluctant to explain the truth that Izumi, but the characters in the story are unaware of that. Plus I think it was pretty damn selfish the way he chose to tell Cagalli. I am aware that considering his character there was nothing else he could have done but that doesn't change how Cagalli would feel about it. She was confused and hurt and this story focuses mostly around her. This is not an objective story so obviously I'm not going to write it objectively. In any case I am planning on dealing with Yamatos and there decisions later as well so bear in mind they are going get it as well. In any case I'm excited that so many people are enjoying my story! I hope you continue to Review!

I still need a Beta Reader so if you're interested let me know! AnimeHuntress181 * NetZero*com

Chapter Three: Hard Dealt Truths

For the first time since meeting Chairman Durandal, Athrun found himself doubting the man and glaring at him. His words were so perfect and they sounded right, but there had been someone who had told him something similar not so very long ago. Cagalli could be stubborn and headstrong, and she usually acted first and then dealt with the consequences rather than think things through, but she had insights that could be surprisingly accurate and wise for someone her age. It was something that had drawn him to her in the first place, that and the fact that she had had the spunk to shoot down his carrier and open fire on him when she found him on the island. Now that he thought of it the Chairman had said something Cagalli had told him in the last war, nearly word for word, but his meaning had been utterly different.

*'What we want to do, what we can do, what we've got to do, it's the same for everyone...and for me to…'* Athrun growled, as he stomped his way back to the Minerva, and to Cagalli's side where he belonged. *How could I have been so stupid!*

He stopped and blinked as he remembered something else Cagalli had told him. *'I guess Coordinators can do stupid things to, so we might as well just get used to it.'*

"Athrun, I swear what is with you?" Shinn demanded from behind him.

"Cagalli once told me something… 'Someone is killed for killing another, then that guy is killed for killing him. How is that kind of twisted thinking ever going to bring us peace?' And for the first time I truly understand what she meant." Athrun stated quietly. "Sometimes we want to fight, sometimes we can fight, and sometimes we have to fight because there isn't any other way, but it is always by our own choice that we fight. Is there really no other way to bring peace other than fighting, and what makes one side better than the other? A soldiers duty is to follow orders, but is it always right to trust the orders we are given? What are the intentions behind them? I won't be his puppet Shinn. I won't just fight because he tells me to; I won't point my gun at someone just because he says they're the enemy!"

"But Logos…" Shinn growled, "Look at what they've done. They created Stellar and they did all those other bad things too!"

"Yes I know that Shinn, but that's not what I'm talking about. Look around you, at one time we were all given orders that the other side was our enemy and now we are united against a common one? Maybe Logos is wrong, but the Chairman is too!" Athrun snapped. "Look at the world Shinn, people are dying for his cause. Innocent people who did nothing wrong but are in the wrong place at the wrong time, or people that others think are wrong! He's created chaos and destruction all over the world for his fight against Logos! And do you know what's worse; those attacks look a hell of a lot like the Bloody Valentine Incident that escalated into a war. I'm not blind Shinn; I won't close my eyes to the realities happening around me just because I don't want to see them, and you shouldn't either!"

"Huh…what… Athrun?" Shinn blinked and tried to figure out just what Athrun was saying. "Maybe some of what you say is true, but what else can we do? Are we supposed to just roll over and let Logos have its way!"

"No… but couldn't we have calmly contact their respective nations and let them take appropriate actions against them?" Athrun demanded. "Why is all of this necessary to end the war? It seems to me like there is something else there, and until I know what it is I won't trust the Chairman's words or intentions for what they seem to sound like."

"I just don't get you," Shinn grumbled and followed along as Athrun turned and continued on his way.

"I've heard that before, plenty of times." Athrun snorted, remembering that it was one of Cagalli's favorite phrases for him. "Shinn, why are you following me?"

"I need to speak to Athha… Luna said I'd better or else." Shin muttered blushing in embarrassment.

"I see, and what exactly are you intending to speak with her about?" Athrun asked carefully, frowning in warning.

"I need to ask her why… why that had to happen to Orb… and I need to apologize, for hurting her and you." Shinn muttered quietly.

"I'm not sure now is a good time…" Athrun warned carefully. "Cagalli's still really weak. She's awake now, but it's not easy seeing her like this. The first time I ever met her she had a gun pointed at me, and now… seeing her like this, I never thought anything could break her like this."

"I truly am sorry… I know it doesn't change what happened but…" Shinn stopped and bowed low. "I apologize for my part in hurting Princess Cagalli Yula Athha and your children!"

"You know, she hates being called Princess," Athrun stated calmly. "Shinn… neither me nor Cagalli are angry with you. It's not your fault this happened. Maybe if you had actually been the reason Cagalli got hurt and… miscarried I might feel different, but I honestly don't hate you for what happened. I'm frustrated but not with you, not really anyways."

"But if I hadn't attacked the Freedom…" Shinn exclaimed

"You had your orders and you are a soldier," Athrun stated flatly. "Come on, maybe Cagalli will get it through your head."

"So you really don't hate me?" Shinn asked, his voice only hinting at how desperately he didn't want to be hated.

"Shinn… I understand better than I want to why you did what you did. I had a friend, a good comrade of mine, and Kira killed him. In Kira's defense I don't think it was his intention to kill Nicole, but it still happened. When we fought again, I killed his friend Tolle. I hope I never become so blinded by that kind of rage ever again. I nearly killed my best friend for revenge." Athrun choked out bitterly. "I kept trying to make excuses for what I'd done. I said he was a Coordinator and that he had betrayed us. I said he wasn't on my side and that I had no choice to kill him. I tried so damn hard to justify my actions… It was Cagalli who showed me the truth. I wasn't fighting to protect, and I wasn't fighting for my orders. I was fighting to kill because someone I cared about had been killed, and that is what war is and that's what I want to stop. You asked me why I fight… Cagalli and the others are the reason why Shinn and so is Nicole and Tolle. Because I never want to see people a care about hurt over needless deaths, and I don't believe that Chairman Durandal's ways are how we stop that from happening."

Shinn stared at him with open shock as they waited for the cleaning process to finish.

"Hey Athrun, any news about…" Kira blinked and stared at the boy he had met at the memorial. "It's you!"

"You're the pilot of the Freedom?" Shinn asked stunned.

"You two have met?" Cagalli asked tiredly from where she was propped up with pillows, watching the news.

"He was at the Memorial in Orb," Shinn replied quietly.

"The one… in honor of your family and several others," Cagalli murmured sadly.

"How…?" Shinn asked startled.

"You were so angry with me when we first met… I figured there had to be a reason behind it. Kisaka was the one that found out and told me about it." Cagalli answered softly.

"I guess that makes sense," Shinn conceded grudgingly.

"It would seem I owe you an apology… I didn't mean for your family to die. It's not an excuse but…"

"That's what I want to know! I want to know why! Why didn't Orb just join the ZAFT forces or something, anything but what they did?" Shinn demanded angrily. "Why did that have to happen!"

"Shinn there isn't an easy answer to that," Athrun warned him cautiously but Cagalli held up a hand to stop him from saying anything else. When she spoke her voice was quiet but strong and completely void of emotion.

"Mr. Auska what happened to your family was terrible but what you are suggesting, either way Orb would have suffered. If we had sided with ZAFT it would had been another Josh-A, and if we'd joined the Alliance it would have been another Panama. There wasn't anything my father or uncle could do but hold to our nation's neutrality. It was the Alliance that wouldn't allow that. They wanted our power and our Mass Driver. They wouldn't even answer our demands for negotiations. Every political action was taken to prevent the attack but our neutrality was only a smokescreen to see Orb fall. You aren't the only one to have lost family in those battles Shinn. There wasn't any one reason to why your family died, they just did, and it was for the greed, for the power and the maniacal revenge of Muruta Azrael. In all honesty had we joined the Alliance something similar would have happened only it would have been Athrun's father, Patric Zala, who held the guns." Cagalli stated flatly. "It honestly wouldn't have mattered if we'd joined one side or the other; the results would have been the same. Orb would have been left in ruins just how it was with my father's and uncle's decisions, but at least with their way most of our people were able to evacuate."

"So you're saying there was nothing? Nothing anyone could have done to stop everything from happening!" Shinn demanded angrily. "If you hadn't brought the Archangel into Orb in the first place…"

"Then it still would have happened." Athrun stated flatly. "At that point there were several things happening that eventually would have lead to a battle with Orb, whether it was by the Earth Alliance or ZAFT. My father was campaigning for office and getting rid of Siegel Clyne and Lacus, and the Earth Forces were then being led by Director Azrael. In the end the world would have been split between the two forces, neither side would have allowed Orb to remain Neutral."

"But why?" Shinn exclaimed angrily.

"For power," Cagalli answered flatly. "Too much power can invite conflict, and I warned Chairman Durandal of that fact. Orb has always been a powerful nation with state of the art technology that often times rivals the Plants. If a side had to be chosen then Orb would have been the deciding factor in the war, but also if a side had been chosen it would have caused civil war too. Orb has always been a country that's accepted Coordinators and Naturals and by choosing a side it would have hurt our people either way."

"It's not right," Shinn growled.

"No it's not, but you aren't the only one to suffer." Kira stated quietly from his bed. "And it's also not right to blame Cagalli for everything that has happened to you. Cagalli had no part in the decisions of her Father and Uncle, and she was just as helpless to prevent their deaths as you were to stop your family's deaths. Maybe she didn't watch them die like you did, but she knew and she couldn't stop it. That is it's own kind of pain and it doesn't make it hurt any less."

"…"

"Shinn, I'm not asking for you to forgive my family for there actions, but you can't keep living in the past. Someday you have to move forward and stop hiding behind your pain." Cagalli told him tiredly, her voice gentle. "It's not easy… no one can understand what your going through, but you can't just hide behind what happened and keep blaming everyone around you for your actions."

"I…" Shin frowned and hid behind his bangs.

"There was something else you wanted to tell her Shinn," Athrun reminded him carefully, distracting the younger pilot from his thoughts. It would take time before Shinn could come to terms with his family's loss.

"What? Oh right…" Shinn took a deep breath and then bowed deeply in Cagalli's direction. "Your Esteemed Highness Princess Cagalli Yula Athha, Chief Representative of the Orb Union I ask for your forgiveness for my part in your injuries and the loss of your children."

Athrun and Kira gaped at the younger pilot in shock and bewilderment, neither had ever heard anyone refer to Cagalli as 'Highness' except when being sarcastic, let alone use her full title to that extent. It was a subtle reminder that Cagalli wasn't just any Elected Official but someone who if Orb had remained a monarchy would have ruled as part of that monarchy. It was a very shocking revelation, if not a complete slap in the face. Cagalli wasn't just the leader of one of the most powerful nations on Earth; she was also the reigning royal of that nation.

Cagalli stared at Shinn's humbled form, and a part of her wanted to be childish and shout at him, but another part, the one she had been raised with all her life as the Princess of Orb demanded she reply honestly. She wanted to rub Shinn's face in his situation as he had done with her back on the Minerva, but the horrible truth was that it really wasn't his fault. It hadn't been her fault that his family had died but as part of the Orb Nobility it had been her responsibility, unlike with Shinn's situation now. There wasn't any one person responsible for her loss, and the fact that she had no one to blame was one of the hardest she had to deal with. She wanted to blame herself, and emotionally she did, but logically she couldn't and it was tearing her up inside. She couldn't place that kind of doubt and guilt on someone else, not out of spite or any other reasoning she could find, that just wasn't who she was. She could only grit her teeth and clench her fists as she hid behind her bangs struggling with her reactions to his unwitting apology.

Taking a deep breath she spoke, though her voice wavered at first and was thick with emotions. "Shinn Auska I can't accept your apology. It's not your fault that I got hurt and it's not your fault that I lost my… babies. I can't blame you for something you didn't do. You didn't tell me to get in my Mobile Suit and go after Kira. You didn't tell me to try and save the Freedom. I did all of those things on my own. I can't resent you for following orders and attacking us, I can be angry that you blame the Freedom for your family's deaths but that's it. I don't hate you Shinn and I won't accept your apology."

Shinn blinked and straightened to look at Cagalli. She wasn't crying but he could see the pain in her eyes and slowly he nodded in acceptance and walked out without saying another word. There wasn't anything he could say, a part of him still blamed himself but Cagalli didn't blame him and it took something painful from him that he hadn't realized he had been holding. It had surprised him when she had responded just as officially as he had pronounced his apology. He had expected her to scream and shout but she hadn't reacted that way at all, and it was obvious that she was hurting, but she hadn't taken it out on him. There was obviously more to the Orb Representative and Princess then he had known, and maybe that was for the best.

"That was weird," Kira stated flatly after a moment.

"I think what was even weirder was the fact that she didn't punch him," Athrun snickered. "Cagalli are you okay?"

"Are you okay?" Cagalli retaliated angrily.

"Not really." Athrun replied tiredly.

"Then why ask me?" Cagalli snapped. "Of course I'm not okay, and I'm not going to be okay for a while! So just shut up about it!"

"You can't hide from this Cagalli," Kira warned her gently.

"I'm aware of that Kira!" Cagalli growled and then shut her eyes and slumped weakly against the pillows. "But I can't deal with it now either… It's not the time or the place!"

Kira could only concede that point. They were all in a very precarious situation regardless of the Chairman's 'goodwill'. None of them knew what would happen next and they could only wait and see. Cagalli was recovering by leaps and bounds by a Natural's stand point but she was far from healed and unlike a Coordinator she was at risk of infection. They couldn't take chances, with Cagalli's health or otherwise.

Athrun calmly reached over turning off the news, reminded of Cagalli's condition by her defeated posture. "Get some rest, I know they want to begin the transfer to the shuttle soon, and who knows what that will entail."

"I hate this," Cagalli muttered tiredly, but let Athrun help her lay back down.

"Yeah, I know." Athrun chuckled.

"We hate it too Cagalli." Kira commented with some amusement. "It's weird not seeing you get pissed at someone for calling you 'Princess'!"

"It was formal apology Kira," Cagalli muttered crossly. "I may not like it but I am the Orb Princess. I was raised to be the next Head of State, even if it happened years too soon."

"So you have manners when it's a formal occasion?" Kira teased lightly with a smirk.

"Don't have choice; I can't betray my father's memory like that…" Cagalli yawned. "He was very strict you know… but he did love me. He said he was proud to… have had me for a… daughter. I miss him… and uncle… too…"

"Sleep Cagalli, we'll protect you." Athrun told her gently.

Cagalli only nodded and let herself drift off.

"Athrun?" Kira asked quietly.

"I just realized how far she is from me." Athrun muttered distractedly.

"Yeah, I don't think it ever really occurred to me either." Kira agreed quietly. "She never really puts it out there, and she even runs from it when she can."

"Can I really be with her, Kira? Am I fooling myself?" Athrun asked almost desperately. "I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure. She's not like us…"

"No she's not…" Kira agreed tiredly. "I think this explains more than it doesn't though… When I first met her and then after that… she always seemed detached from everyone. Even on the Archangel she didn't really socialize with the others, just me. It must have been lonely…"

"I never thought about it, and I've been her aide for over a year and a half, but people always treat her differently." Athrun commented. "She's never reacted to it so I never considered that it might be because of more than her station."

"Back on the Archangel… after everyone found out, they all treated her differently, even Miss Murrue and Mu. I thought they were just upset with her not telling them who she really was, but they never really treated her same again." Kira stated sadly. "I never really blamed her, she was my friend and she always treated me like anyone else. I think one of the reasons she loves you is because you don't see her like that. Athrun you love Cagalli for Cagalli. Doesn't Cagalli love you for who you are and not because of what you are or who your father was?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Athrun sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "What about Orb though? Could they ever accept me?"

"I think after the crap with Yuna they'll prefer her to choose her own husband from now on." Kira told him flatly. "That idiot's doing nothing but making a huge mess, and Cagalli's the one who's going to be left cleaning it up."

"I…" Athrun paused and frowned as another thought occurred to him.

"Athrun?" Kira blinked.

"I was going to say that I don't envy her that particular job, but…" Athrun took a deep breath and looked at the pale figure on the bed. "If I want to be part of her life, if I want to take my place at her side then I can't think like that anymore. I've been her aide and I know what her place as Head of the State means, and I would be standing with her."

"Maybe that's the reason Kisaka placed you there in the first place," Kira commented offhandedly.

Athrun looked stunned before he groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I am such an idiot."

"Yeah but I am too… I never saw how much she was hurting. Lacus tried to tell me but I just brushed it off. I never really wanted to deal with the fact that Cagalli was my sister and not just a good friend. I knew she needed me, especially after you left but… I didn't do anything until it was almost too late." Kira muttered angrily, his voice soft, careful of the broken figure on the other bed.

"I guess she was right about that too… Even Coordinators can be fools." Athrun stated wryly, giving that same figure a tired smile, if not a slightly sarcastic one.

"It seems that I cannot use Athrun as I hoped," Durandal commented calmly.

"I warned you of that when this first came up," Rey reminded the Chairman.

"Yes but I had hoped… it doesn't matter," Durandal shrugged and leaned back with a grin. "For the most part everything is going according to plan, and in some ways even better then plan. Once the Princess is securely within our grasp who knows what new doors will be opened."

Rey frowned slightly but nodded. "It won't be easy, according to the Minerva Medics, Miss Cagalli hates doctors and scientists and anything to do with medical care. She has refused most drugs and has fought with them endlessly about their current medical procedures for her sake. It is unlikely she'll volunteer for something of that nature, despite what advances it might bring Coordinator Society."

"In due time it won't be within her power to stop it." Durandal waved away Rey's concerns. "Besides she would want to help those who have done so much for her during her plight… to do otherwise would be foolish, wouldn't you say?"

"I agree…" Rey answered cautiously. "But Miss Cagalli has never been one to care about appearances sir."

"That is certainly true," Durandal frowned in thought. "I suppose we will simply have to see, but perhaps there is a way to force the issue. Yes indeed that could work. If you'll excuse me Rey I have some plans to make."

"As you wish, sir." Rey saluted and left.

Okay a bit shorter than normal but it was either this or a super long chapter and I wanted to get this out. I'm already working on the next chapter so no worries. This story is really coming together now and is much easier to write. I know Cagalli's OOC in this chapter but I wanted to reinforce what kind of upbringing she must have had and that how she chooses to act is by her own volition. I also needed Athrun to finally figure out just what Cagalli is and who he would be by marrying her. In both series it seemed like no one really acknowledged that except for Yuna's action in securing power in Orb. The same would apply to Athrun if he married Cagalli. So there you have it.

Please Review.

And I'd appreciate it if someone offered to Beta this! PLEASE!