(Chapter Eleven)

Sirius caught sight of Peter running up to him and James, looking far too excited for a boy that had just come from detention for failing to complete his Transfiguration homework. For once, he and James had not had detention and had been diligently working on their side project, a feat that was proving to be a bit more challenging in some aspects. James was scratching his nose, his brow furrowed as he peered down at the piece of parchment he had enchanted with Sirius's help.

"We'll need Remus's help getting the right calculations down," James said, watching the little dots stutter back and forth on the enchanted parchment. "This isn't working quite how we thought. Something must be wrong in our alchemical conditions." He squinted at the parchment where Sirius and Remus had done their calculations.

"Figures we'd have to put it on hold while he's out," Sirius said, "but at least it looks like Wormtail's done his part for this week."

James looked up and turned just as Peter got to them, out of breath and with pink cheeks. It was Thursday night, the night before the full moon, and the three boys had initiated their plan in order to get Snape out on the grounds near the Whomping Willow tomorrow evening. When Remus was on prefect duty that week or otherwise engaged, the three boys would get within hearing shot and have conversations about going out on the ground Friday evening with the vague mission of "protecting Remus's secret." They had been talking about it all week while pretending they were not aware of Snape's proximity in the hopes that he would take the bait.

Any other student overhearing the conversation would have been unsurprised and unbothered to hear that they were sneaking out into the castle grounds at night; additionally, they would only expect that Remus was seeing a girl rather than anything more nefarious. Snape, however, had been curious about Remus's disappearance since their first year at Hogwarts and had attempted to follow him as soon as he became a prefect. They knew all of the secret tunnels and entrances, though, so it was always easy to lose him. This time, they had every intention of letting him follow them.

The plan was that they would let him get close enough to the Whomping Willow to see Madame Pomfrey leave the tree and once he approached the tunnel, Sirius would transform into his Animagus form and give him a scare. This was the agreed-upon plan between the three boys except that Sirius had other plans.

Sirius knew that, while Peter was not as bright as the other three, he had a mean streak in him that would have rivalled that of most Slytherins. Peter had been more eager than the others to see Snape get exposed to the werewolf and while Sirius usually erred on the side of caution out of respect for James, he felt no such qualms now. Peter had agreed that he would touch the tree knot and then distract James so that Snape could actually get into the tunnel and Sirius would be nearby in case it got too out of control. He knew he could trust Peter to get his part done – he was rather good at deception in these types of situations, which made him so useful to their group.

"He took the bait," Peter said with a grin. "He came up to me, thinking to bully me into giving him information. I told him everything, so he should be on the grounds tomorrow."

"Excellent," Sirius said with a smirk. "Then we're all set for tomorrow."

"Remus is going to have our head if he remembers any of this," James said with a sigh as he began to collect his things. "But, you know, maybe Snape will finally give it a rest."

"Calm down. If all goes according to plan, Remus won't even see Snape and we won't have to tell him. It's only if he catches a glimpse of him that we have to explain anything."

"You know that Wormtail is going to tell him."

"I would never!" Peter said indignantly, looking cross at such a suggestion. "I promised I wouldn't say anything to him and I won't."

"That's what you said about Marlene, too," James grumbled, "and see how well that went?"

When Friday night arrived, Sirius was pleased to find that James seemed entirely unbothered by their plans. To him, they were doing nothing more than playing a prank. Peter, on the other hand, exuded an anxious energy that would have unnerved him if he had not also been looking forward to his revenge scheme. The idea of Snape screaming like a girl and getting possibly a little maimed tonight gave him a very cold satisfaction indeed. As the three of them traipsed down towards the Whomping Willow, he glanced over his shoulder and smirked upon seeing the figure following them from a distance. He saw the flutter of a cloak tail as Snape ducked behind some bushes.

"Seems pretty confident, doesn't he?" James murmured in a low tone, grinning.

"He's eager to get the piss scared out of him," Sirius answered with a knowing glance towards Peter, whose smile turned a little mean around the edges.

As planned, James and Sirius stopped at the edge of the clearing watching Madame Pomfrey walk past their hiding spot. In the plans between the three boys, Sirius was supposed to wait until Snape got closer to the tree and then transform into his large, dog-like Animagus form; however, Peter had disappeared unbeknownst to James to transform into a rat and then scamper to the knot that would freeze the Whomping Willow for several minutes. As they watched the branches flail threateningly, Sirius began to feel an inkling of doubt in regards to his plan. He had never been alone with Remus before and was unsure if he would really be able to hold him off on his own in case something happened. He was not particularly worried about Snape losing his life, but knew that Remus would get thrown out of the school if he took another student's life. He had made that very clear to them when they had initially wanted to see him before they learned to transform as Animagi.

It was too late to back out, though. Peter had returned and was pulling James away, frantically acting out his plan and looking for all the world to be having one of his usual anxiety attacks about something gone awry. James frowned, glancing around behind him to look for Snape. Peter was far too convincing, and before Sirius was given a chance to call him back, the two of them had travelled down to the other side of the Whomping Willow. Sirius could hear their voices and, looking around, he realized that Snape was no longer behind them. Peering into the darkness, he almost sighed aloud upon seeing the figure slip into the hole. He guessed that Snape had seen Madame Pomfrey use the branch that activated the knot near the hole and had determined where he would find Remus.

Sometimes, he thought as he transformed into the big, black dog that was his Animagus form and following him into the tunnel, he is too clever for his own good.

Sniffing the air, he could smell Snape ahead of him in the tunnel and could hear the frantic panting of the boy. He loped on after him, keeping a fair distance between them. From time to time, he would glance behind him uneasily, hoping that perhaps either James or Peter would follow shortly after. The original plan had been to lead James away for a long enough time that he would not interfere, but now Sirius was wishing he had not thought to do so. The longer he lingered on the notion, the more likely he thought that both he and Snape were going to end up torn to shreds from Remus. He could not think of any reasonable way to stop him at this point without taking a blow to his pride from Snape. However, the idea of Remus being expelled because of his own foolish desire for revenge began to haunt him as the minutes passed, as if it had already happened. The concept that he could lose Remus as a friend and, if Peter blabbed, perhaps James, too, was too daunting to him.

As the tunnel began to ascend, he resigned himself to a wounded ego and, after transforming back into a human, ran the last few steps and tackled Snape into the ground before they could reach the entrance to the Shrieking Shack. Above him, he could hear the growls and grunts of Remus in his werewolf form.

"Get off me, Black!" Snape spat at him, his thin limbs sliding out of his grip a bit too easily for his liking.

"You idiot, do you have any idea what you're doing?" Sirius hissed and swung at his face. This bout of Muggle fighting was enough to at least cause Snape to go still in shock.

"It's about time I see what you've all been up to. It'll give me all that I need to get the lot of you thrown out of Hogwarts."

"Did you stop to think that this was something that the headmaster knows about?"

"You all sneaking around? I doubt it. Or do you take me for a fool?"

"I know you're one. I don't need you to show me."

The two of them struggled in the tunnel, Sirius not willing to punch him in the face again. He feared that Snape would explode the entire tunnel with magic if he began to beat like him a common Muggle. Above them, he sensed Remus going still, as though listening to their fighting with great interest. Sirius, attempting to drag Snape back the way they had come, froze suddenly upon hearing the snuffling of a snout against the floorboards. Snape, too, stopped moving and tipped his head back to stare up at the ceiling of the tunnel. Above them, there were slits in the floorboards where they were located just beneath the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Sirius felt his throat seize with horror when the snuffling made its way towards where he knew the opening of the tunnel was located.

"We need to leave," Sirius said urgently, grabbing Snape by the arm and attempting to pull him away.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Have you lost your mind?"

"He's a werewolf, alright?!" Sirius snarled. "If you're not stupid, you'll know what that means!"

"A – what?" Snape gaped at him, his eyes narrowing skeptically a moment later. "You're lying."

"Do you want to stick around to find out?" Sirius raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "Or do you want to get the hell out of here and be alive at the end of the night?"

Snape, already pale in the gloom, seemed to go a shade paler before glancing behind them where the snuffling had suddenly ceased. Sirius felt his stomach drop and then forcefully dragged Snape away from the part of the tunnel that led to the entrance of the Shrieking Shack. No matter how much Sirius hated him, he did not care to see Snape's innards hanging from one of his best friend's mouths.

The two of them rushed through the tunnel, panting heavily and sweating. Sirius had to drag Snape up to his feet several times when he had tripped. Behind them, Sirius had heard the howl of Remus and the scrabbling of him forcing his massive form through the tunnel. Sirius could not transform in front of Snape and even though it was his friend, his own hands were shaking with fear. It was only him and Snape in the tunnel with Remus, James and Peter seemingly far from them. They might have their wands, but they were untrained student wizards with not nearly enough experience and magic to defeat a werewolf without killing Remus in the process.

Sirius clamored in front of Snape out of the tunnel, his limbs trembling and his back drenched in sweat. He frantically mashed the knot that would cease the Whomping Willow's branches and bolted across the clearing, away from the hole. Turning, breathless, he made to call out to Snape and then felt his body go icy cold when he saw the massive arm that lashed out towards Snape's leg as he rose to his feet.

There was a shriek of pain as Snape stumbled forward, blood gushing out from the massive gash that appeared on his calf. Sirius scrambled towards him as he made to fall, one of his hands fumbling for his wand. He swore vehemently when his wand dropped somewhere in the grass below and, abandoning it altogether, he took Snape's arms and half-dragged him away from the entrance of the tunnel. Remus was scrabbling at the tunnel, attempting to get himself out of the tunnel. His werewolf arm tore at the grass, pulling his torso up through the opening, his powerful jaws snapping and seeming to foam at the edges.

"Get us out of here!" Snape was shrieking in his ear, his white face now tinged with green from pain. As Remus released an extraordinary howl, his wild eyes fixed on Snape's own terrified stare, Snape's body went rigid before he slackened in Sirius's grip in a dead faint.

"No, no!" Sirius yelled furiously, his grip tightening as Snape's body weight caused his arms to buckle. "You moron! Wake up!" He was shaking Snape angrily and then began to anxiously scan the grass again for his wand. There was no way he would make it back up to the castle with a fainted Snape. "Accio wand!" His wand shot to his hand and he released Snape, contemplating whether spells or being an Animagus would do better. Even as he raised a weak hand, gripping his wand, however, Remus seemed to suddenly be backed into the tunnel, his body forced down and then the Whomping Willow stirred into action again, its branches slapping at the werewolf.

With a shrieking cry of pain, Remus disappeared and a shimmer of light covered the entrance of the tunnel, as if a spell had been cast upon it. The night was suddenly, without warning, quite still.

Sirius stared blankly at where Remus had been half exposed and then looked around, blinking into the darkness to discover Professor Dumbledore standing serenely some feet away, with James standing behind him looking stricken. Dumbledore cast a conjuring spell that created a stretcher which lifted Snape into it and floated it up towards the castle where he saw two other figures waiting. One of them, he surmised by her disappearance when the stretcher arrived, had been Madame Pomfrey.

"He will live," Dumbledore told Sirius, who had dropped his arm to his side limply and was staring at the tall, severe figure waiting for them. He knew it must be Professor McGonagall. He could think of no other person that could stand that stiff and exude such an energy of anger from so far away. "It is quite a miracle that he came out of that tunnel with only a scratch on his leg."

Sirius said nothing, aware that there was nothing he could say in this situation.

"Go on to bed, James," Dumbledore said quietly to James, who looked more anxious than Sirius had ever seen him in front of a teacher. "Sirius will be there shortly."

James nodded reluctantly and trudged up towards the castle without a backwards glance, leaving the two alone with McGonagall as sentinel at the top of the hill.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked cautiously. James being sent away was no coincidence, he was sure, and Peter's absence was telling.

"Up in the boy's dormitory by now, I am sure. He and James came rushing to my office to tell me what happened and admitted that you had intended to play a bit of a prank on Severus, but that it got out of hand." He peered at Sirius over the rim of his half-moon spectacles, unsmiling but not severe. "I have a feeling that there is more to that story that James did not know."

"I wasn't trying to get him killed."

"I see that. Commendable, to sacrifice yourself for your enemy."

There was the slightest hint of sarcasm behind Dumbledore's voice that made his jaw set. He did not need to be chastised by a professor to know that he had been exceedingly foolish – the experience enough made that clear.

"So, what now?" Sirius asked casually, deciding that he was not interested in detailing the night's events to Dumbledore. "Am I expelled or what?"

"Follow me, Sirius," Dumbledore answered instead and turned, leading the way up to the castle.

Heaving a sigh through his nose, Sirius pocketed his wand and then followed the professor up towards where McGonagall was standing. He felt the stickiness of Snape's blood on his hands and, while he knew he was in the wrong, he felt affronted that the teachers were treating him as if he had gone out of his way to try and get a student killed. Was it not him that went after Snape in the tunnel in the first place? He could have left him to his own devices if he had wanted.

Even as he raged in such a way in his head, he knew that he was responsible for what had happened that night. If he had not asked Peter to distract James, Snape would have never made it into the tunnel. Sirius was supposed to sneak away and then come out and startle Snape outside the Whomping Willow. The most he would do is grab hold of his robes and drag him around a bit. That had been the plan they had agreed upon before they set out. As James had said, it was the safest prank. Instead, Sirius and Peter had opted for the less safe alternative with the intention of making sure that Snape knew who had the upper hand.

Well, it wasn't me or him, Sirius thought bitterly. If it was anyone, it had been Remus.

"I would like you to make sure James returns back to the dormitories and does not try to wait in the halls for Sirius," Dumbledore said to McGonagall. "I will take care of discipline for what happened here tonight, Minerva."

Her nostrils flared as if she was imagining ten thousand years of detention for Sirius, though she nodded curtly and went ahead of the two at a brisk pace.

By the time they arrived at Dumbledore's office, it was quite empty save for a phoenix that perched next to Dumbledore's desk and gave an appreciative coo to the older man as they rounded the desk. Sirius had been in the headmaster's office from time to time, though this was the first time he had ever been here without James. The fact that he, alone, might be punished gave him some sense of comfort in knowing that his friends would not be expelled.

"Forgive my tone outside the castle," Dumbledore told him after he had settled behind the desk, his hands clasped upon the top of it. "It amazes me at times that students think that because I am old, I must also be foolish or blind."

"I wouldn't make that mistake, professor," Sirius told him, lounging back in the chair, his elbow leaning against the arm of the chair as he awaited his sentencing. "I've read most of your papers, even the ones you wrote when you were younger – you've always been brilliant."

"Are you trying to flatter me?"

"Not this time. I don't expect that'll help me in this situation."

Dumbledore smiled, as if he could not help himself. "Like yourself, I was once arrogant because I was clever, Sirius," he told him. "And while my life has allowed me countless opportunities due to my intelligence, it came at a cost. I would hate for you to pay the same price."

More emphatically than he had earlier, Sirius said in a hard voice, "I wasn't trying to kill him."

"You can understand why I might be skeptical of that. Are you so sure that you did not wish it?"

Sirius frowned across at him as Dumbledore raised his hands to create a form a steeple with his fingers, watching him carefully over his fingertips. He understood what Dumbledore was asking, but he did not care to delve into his animosity towards Snape with the headmaster of all people. Outside of Lily, how could he outline the disgusting politics, his own family's views, and Snape's repulsive personality from day one? Even if Dumbledore had been a teenager once, he doubted that he could understand he depth of his hatred for Snape – or Snape's hatred for him, for that matter.

Instead, he lapsed into a stubborn silence, the two of them staring across at each other. If Dumbledore was attempting to nudge his way into his mind, Sirius hoped he would not get too far. His Occlumency skills might have been rudimentary, but he could at least use it to block a prying mind.

Several minutes passed in this fashion until Sirius grew bored with the staring and instead began to inspect each of the instruments within the room. He recognized some of the objects, although others remained a mystery to him. His gaze lingered on a silver instrument that swung back and forth like a pendulum, making him feel a bit drowsy. He turned away from it to find the phoenix staring at him in what he interpreted as disapproval.

What's the sense of lying? he wondered to himself. If I get expelled, will it matter anyway? I don't have to tell him everything, after all. And by 'everything,' he specifically was thinking of Lily.

"He's going to end up dead soon, anyway," Sirius spoke up at last, looking away from the phoenix. "But I don't want Remus killing him when he's a werewolf. Don't get me wrong – I could care less if Snape dies. Remus would never forgive himself if he killed someone and I don't want him expelled."

"You seem rather prepared to accept your own expulsion," Dumbledore noted.

"I don't need school to learn things." He shrugged. "All school does it get you connections and a job after all of this. I don't care about any of that."

"And what would you like to do after this, Sirius?"

He considered the question for a long moment, realizing that he had never thought of anything past Hogwarts. He knew he would not be at Grimmauld Place – he would make damned sure of that. Outside of that, he had not given it much thought. The future had always seemed much further than three years away. The idea of a career or any sort of traditional job was too foreign a concept to him. He considered all of the little side work he and James had indulged in – their alchemy, Transfiguration, and continued potion-making. Inventing had been his passion while at school. It challenged him in a way that his coursework never had in class. He had never thought to monetize it, though; it had always been for his own purposes.

And then, unbidden, his mind drifted to Lily. She was as foreign a thought in his future as a career. Could he be married at some point, with children of his own, and a job? His mother would have scoffed at him and called him pedestrian.

"It doesn't matter to me what I do," Sirius answered evasively at last.

"It would be unwise to continue on the path that you are going," Dumbledore said, straightening abruptly and pulling what looked to be a large file from the side of his desk. "You have been at Hogwarts for five years now and yet you have not gone a year without getting into detention. Yet, in spite of that, your grades are impeccable and you have, so far, not gotten so deep into trouble that it could not be absolved with a detention." He glanced up at Sirius. "Until tonight. You understand my meaning?"

"Yes, sir."

"No matter what you may think of Severus or where he may end up in life, it is not our right to choose who can live or die."

"And what about after school?" Sirius asked him, frowning. "Snape's planning to become a Death Eater. If a war breaks out and I'm on the other side, what am I supposed to do? Let him kill me because I don't have a 'right to choose'?"

Dumbledore smiled, seeming almost amused by the question.

"I admire your fire, Sirius," he said instead. "I hope you never lose it as you grow older." He rose to his feet and, startled by the sudden change, Sirius also got to his feet and allowed himself to be steered towards the door. "You are getting off on a warning tonight because James came to me, but next time, I would think twice about a prank that can turn deadly."

"I understand, sir."

"Good. Off to bed with you, then."

Sirius accepted Dumbledore's refusal to address Snape's goal of becoming a Death Eater and left the office feeling relieved. Even though he had been blasé about his expulsion, he knew that his mother would make his life a living hell for the next two years if he had been kicked out of Hogwarts or worse yet, she would send him to Durmstrang to go to school. For once, he was supremely grateful for James's manner of forethought when it came to ethics and morals.

Upon arriving at Gryffindor tower, he found James waiting for him in the common room. James sprang to his feet the moment he came in, his brow puckered. Sirius's own stomach tightened with unease as he saw his friend. Since seeing Dumbledore, he had not had time to question whether James would remain friends with him after everything. Now, facing him, he wondered what James was about to say to him.

"Well? What happened?" James asked anxiously.

"I got off with a warning this time," Sirius answered, passing him and collapsing onto a squishy chair and sighing. "Next time I won't be so lucky."

"Bloody hell." James sank onto the couch next to him, rubbing his face. When he raised his face again, his mouth was turned down in an angry scowl. By his expression, Sirius knew that Peter had told him the whole story when he arrived back at Gryffindor tower. "Why in God's name did you two get Snape into that tunnel? I told you I didn't think that was a good idea!"

"Sorry, mate," Sirius said quietly. "I let him get to me. But hey, it all turned out for the better, right?"

"Only because you tipped me off. I knew something wasn't right when I couldn't see you up there anymore. The way Snape's been going after you lately, I figured you wanted to do him in good and thought the worst. Thank God you didn't get expelled, Sirius!"

"God had nothing to do with it." Sirius tipped his head back, closing his eyes as relief loosened the knot in his belly. James did not hate him for deceiving him. He, like Sirius, was just thankful that it had not been as bad as it could have been.

"It could have gone so much worse than it did," James continued in soft tones. "If Remus had killed Snape, he wouldn't have just gotten thrown out of the school – they might have exterminated him, too. You know how the Ministry feels about werewolves."

He was right. It was something that Sirius had not thought of, too self-absorbed in his own anger and rivalry with Snape. He opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. He had not just put himself and Snape at risk, but also Remus. Three lives could have potentially been taken as a result of the night's events and for him, it had been incredibly stupid. They expected such idiocy from Peter, who spent half his time concocting plans that had a higher failure rate than success rate. The sense of shame that washed over Sirius made him deeply uncomfortable and for several seconds, he gazed above him at the fire casting dancing shadows on the ceiling. He could not say as much to James, but he had lost his senses over a girl and had nearly ruined more than one life over it.

I won't be that stupid again, he promised himself. Not over Lily. I cant. I went too far this time.

"Sorry," he said again to James, straightening so that he met his gaze. "You're right. I was an idiot."

"Well," James sighed, frowning over at him, "as long as you admit it."

Without another word, the two boys made their way up to the boys' dormitory. There did not seem to be anything more to say just then. That was the beauty of their friendship, Sirius reflected. He and James could come to an understanding without saying much – they were fine with letting things simply be.

As he climbed into his four-poster bed, exhausted and drained from the night's events, he wondered uneasily whether that intuition did not stretch to the one and only thing he had been concealing from his friend.