(Chapter Fourteen)

Lily leaned back in the grass, releasing a long sigh as the sunlight spilled onto her skin. She had just finished their Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL exam, the last exam before her Astronomy and Herbology exam tomorrow. Next to her, Alice was fussing over her notes, working herself into a hysterical state as she shoved a paper into Marlene's face.

"Look! I knew I missed that question about counter-jinxes!" Alice whined.

"It's just one question," Marlene said, swatting the parchment away. "You would have thought that you failed the entire exam."

"Frank and I are both trying to get into the NEWT-level Defense Against the Dark Arts for next year," Alice fretted anxiously, shuffling through more of her notes. "If I don't pass – "

"Don't you ever do anything for yourself, Alice?" Marlene cut in impatiently. "You're always doing what Frank wants."

"It has nothing to do with that!"

"What are you planning for after school?" Lily asked, interrupting what she was sure would have been a heartfelt lecture on the importance of feminine independence.

"Well..." Alice's cheeks turned a bit pink as Lily pulled her shoes and socks off to dip her feet into the lake. "I was king of thinking of being an Auror..."

"An Auror?" Marlene repeated, sounding impressed. "I never would have thought that of you! And Frank, too?"

"His family's been pretty badly affected by the Death Eater stuff," Alice said, joining Lily and pulling her socks and shoes off to soak her feet in the lake. "I guess a lot more of the wizarding community is split than you'd think. He had a row with his uncle over Christmas about it."

"Is there really that much anti-Muggle sentiment still?" Lily asked uneasily.

"Oh, yes. Even amongst half-bloods, if you can believe it."

"Sometimes I forget that you're not from a wizarding family," Marlene remarked to Lily.

"Anyway, I hear enough about blood politics with Frank," Alice said, quickly changing the subject. "What are you going for, Marlene?"

"Journalist, of course," she said with a devilish smile as she sat on the other side of Alice. "Who needs to take people down with a wand when you can with words?"

"I can definitely see that."

The three girls laughed, imagining Marlene as a vicious journalist targeting particular men in the Ministry of Magic as a means of getting them out of power.

Lily brushed her hair over her shoulder, looking behind her at the students that were milling about. She spotted Severus by a copse of bushes, rubbing his nose and peering down at the exam paper. She had to smile at how intently he was gazing upon it. It had been months since she had last spoken to Severus, let alone even seen him. It was as if they had vanished from each other's lives. Last year when their professors had been talking to them about OWLs, she had imagined that she and Severus would do all their studying together, would go over their answers after each exam, and would choose their next classes together, as well.

I wonder what classes he's planning to do, she thought faintly, looking away from him to peer out across the lawn at the other students. I wonder if he's even planning a career at all or, like Sirius said, he's just going to try and be recruited as a Death Eater?

Even as the depressing thought occurred to her, her eyes met another familiar pair across the lawn. Sirius was sitting with his usual group of friends, looking around with an expression of abject boredom. He gaze strayed across hers and he smiled slightly as he looked away. She smiled to herself, the dismal moment dispelled from her heart as she turned away from their group.

"James Potter won't stop staring over here," Alice said, taking notice of her smile. "Don't tell me you're starting to get sweet on him?"

"Not in a thousand years," Lily reassured her.

"You're not just becoming an Auror because of Frank, right?" Marlene asked, frowning up at Alice from where she was laying in the grass. "Because there's no guarantee that you two are going to be together after school."

"Out of all of us, Marlene, I think we can safely assume that Alice is going to be married and have children before any of us."

"I don't think there's anyone else for me, honestly," Alice said with a contented smile. "But no, I promise you that it's not just because of Frank. On the subject of romance, though, whatever happened to Oscar Matthews?"

"Oh, I don't even want to talk about him right now," Lily groaned, rubbing her forehead. "I feel so embarrassed for blowing up in front of him like I did. He's been avoiding me in the halls ever since then."

"You've gone and terrified the poor boy," Marlene laughed.

"Traumatized him," Alice added teasingly.

There was a commotion behind them, catching the girls' attention. At some point in the time that Lily's attention had been diverted, Severus had gotten up and, unlucky as he was, he had caught James's attention. Severus had been cornered, surrounded by several of the other students, many of them Gryffindors that were guffawing at James's display of making pink bubbles foam out of Severus's mouth.

"Lily, don't," Marlene said in a warning voice as she shot to her feet. "Just leave it."

"Look at him!" Lily said hotly, gesturing towards James. "I'm not just going to let him do that to him!"

"Lily, wait!" Alice called after her plaintively.

The next few minutes happened too fast for anyone to notice and Lily barely heard what she was shouting at James or even paying any attention to whether Severus had escaped or if her friends had followed.

"Leave him alone," she repeated angrily to James just as she caught sight of Marlene storming up behind her. She brushed her hand off of her arm as her friend attempted to pull her away from the scene.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said quickly.

Lily did not hear the rest of what he said and barely thought before she rejected him. She was trying to keep her eyes on Severus, but her attention was diverted by Marlene stiffening behind her and then Sirius's eyes on her. For a moment, she thought his mouth twitched, as if her insults towards James had amused him.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said to his friend, as if James had not just been publicly rejected once again by her.

In the corner of her eye, Lily caught the sight of fury on Severus's face when he got a hold of his wand and raised her own, intending to disarm him. He had aimed his wand tip at Sirius, rather than James, and because he was too preoccupied, his mind was fully open to her. She could see the spell that he was intending to use and just as he began to utter the nonverbal spell, she attempted to counter with her own. Hers was not as effective, though, and instead it caused the spell to graze against James rather than its intended target.

Everything happened quickly after then. Severus was flipped upside down, people began to roar with laughter, and she had begun shouting again, even as both James and Sirius hit Severus with spells. And then, without warning, the disgusting words oozed out of Severus's mouth, hitting her without warning.

"...filthy little Mudbloods like her…"

There was a confrontation, another shouting match with James, and within seconds she was turning her back on all three of them – Severus, James, and Sirius alike. She was livid with James and Sirius for ganging up on Severus, beyond disgusted with Severus for attempting to slice Sirius open with that ugly, nonverbal spell of his, and even though the insult meant little to her, Severus's words stung.

"Lily, wait up!" Marlene had run after her and grabbed her arm again, this time forcing her to stop. "Are you okay?"

Expecting that she would now need to get into a shouting match with Marlene, she drew in a deep breath and turned to look at her, but saw only concern etched in her face. She was looking a little shaky, Lily realized, and with a deflated feeling in her chest, she wondered if it was because she had just seen James spurt blood from Severus's spell. Behind her, she could hear people cheering and laughing. It was clear that James had chosen to turn his foul attention back onto Severus.

Doesn't matter, she fiercely thought. Sev doesn't want help from a Mudblood.

"I'm fine," Lily said a bit more coolly than she intended. "Let's just go."

She ignored Marlene's shocked glance, continuing back to where Alice was standing by the edge of the lake looking anxious. Lily did not say anything to her as she pulled on her socks and began to buckle up her shoes. As she was finishing clasping one of hers, she heard Alice gasp in alarm and then shrieks from the group they had just left. Raising her head, Lily saw that Avery had apparently come to Severus's rescue and had conjured a rather frightening replica of a dementor. From afar, the girls could see Remus disperse the apparition and Avery and Severus go running back to the castle. After the spell had dissipated, many of the students tittered uncomfortably, some of them hastening after the two Slytherins, not quite as thrilled at being privy to James's joking tactics. James and Peter had gone running after the two Slytherins, James shooting spells after them and leaving Remus and Sirius behind at the lake.

"What kind of spell was that?" Alice asked in a hushed voice.

"Nothing he learned at school, I'm sure," Lily replied grimly. "Come on, let's go."

As the girls headed back to the castle, none of them said anything. Alice seemed too fearful to broach the topic of what had happened with the other two and Marlene appeared to be similarly subdued. Lily, for her part, was still fuming at the three boys.

"Oi, Evans!" She paused, whirling around to find Remus and Sirius striding up to them. It had been Sirius who had called out to her. Hearing him address her by her surname was almost was disconcerting as seeing him bully Severus.

"Go on ahead," she said to Alice and Marlene. "It's okay."

Marlene appeared as though she would very much like to argue, but Alice took her by the arm and looped her elbow in her own, forcing her towards the castle gates.

"You planning to pass your OWLs?" Sirius asked her with a slight smile. He held out her school bag and she realized, with a start, that she had forgotten it in her rush towards the castle. "You forgot it back at the lake."

"James Potter is a foul git," she said coldly, not taking the bag from him quite yet. "And you're not acting any better."

"To be fair," Remus spoke up from beside Sirius, "Snape went for his wand first."

"How do you expect him not to?" she shot back. "You're always targeting him!"

"Let's not get into another discussion of who targets who," Sirius suggested and although there was a smile on his lips, there was a dark undercurrent to his voice, reminding her that he had addressed this long ago during their weeks of detention together. "What's that spell he uses? The one that cuts people open?"

Guiltily, she lowered her eyes to the ground. She was not sure that Severus had even shared that curse with the other Slytherins. If he had, she knew that no one outside of their House would know except for herself. If anyone else had asked her, she would have ignored the question, but it was Sirius and the spell had been intended for him. She was sure that he had caught onto that, as well.

"It's a non-verbal only spell," she answered at last, raising her eyes to them. "Sectumsempra. He made it himself."

"That's very advanced," Remus observed, his brow furrowing. "But also…" He glanced at Sirius.

Sirius released something between a laugh and a derisive snort. "Advanced, Moony?" he repeated incredulously. "He's making up curses that can take people's heads off!"

"It's a little excessive," Lily agreed, frowning. "I told him he shouldn't be using it outside of emergency situations. But you know, he was almost choking to death on that soap. You can't blame him."

"You're all over the place," Sirius said to her with a note of frustration entering his voice. "Are you mad at him for calling you a Mudblood or mad at us for defending ourselves? Because you can't be both. You're going to have to pick a side, one way or another."

"Sirius, leave her alone," Remus told his friend, putting a hand on his arm. "James took it too far. Even I could see that."

"And Snape didn't?"

"There's a lot worse that you've done to him." Remus gave him a meaningful look and then released his arm. "I'm going back up to the castle. If you two want to stand here and argue, then be my guest. I have a feeling we're all going to end up with a detention before the end of term for this, anyway. Not that I did anything."

The pair of them watched Remus head through the gates to return to the castle, leaving an awkward silence in his wake. Sirius's arm had dropped, Lily's bag still in his hand and she had folded her arms over her chest protectively. Without saying much, Remus had put them in their place and made them both look rather foolish. She could tell by the stubborn expression set of Sirius's jaw, however, that he was not feeling particularly remorseful for anything he had done that afternoon.

Without anyone else there, Lily's anger subsided significantly. The lawns had emptied out of students, leaving just her and Sirius standing outside the castle gates. The sun was still beating down on them, making sweat collect at the nape of her neck. Looking at Sirius, she felt a pang of regret at arguing with him over Severus again. It seemed any disagreement they had centered around him; in fact, any disagreement she had with anyone at school seemed to center around Severus. Last fall, Sirius had told her to analyze how many excuses she made for Severus, to really see what type of friendship she had with him, and she never did look too closely. When Severus and her had more or less cut ties during Christmas break, she had lost the motivation.

Now, looking back at it, it hurt to know that she had been making excuses for him at school. The person he was with her was not the persona he put out to everyone else and no matter how much she talked to him, she could not understand the dramatic shift in personality. She had been able to make excuses in the past when she had not seen that side of him. Now, however, after seeing the degree of hatred he had been directing at Sirius, after hearing about him hexing boys that talked to her, and how he had tried to attack Sirius right before detention, she could find no reasonable excuse. Yes, perhaps that day on the train James and Sirius had been cruel towards Severus, but he had also picked up some bad habits from other Slytherins and had, in turn, become the aggressor.

"That spell was meant for you," Lily said at last, breaking the silence. Sirius stirred from where he had been staring at the gates, glancing over at her. She pushed her hair to one side, tucking it behind her ear. "I tried to redirect it, but I didn't do a good job at aiming my spell."

"Kind of figured," Sirius grunted. "He would've done more than grazed James if he really wanted to go after him."

She hesitated before stepping a bit closer, daring to brush her hand over his. "Sirius, I'm really sorry. It's just..."

"Does it bother you?" he asked her softly, leaning in a little closer. "That he called you that?"

"I don't care about being called that. It's a stupid insult, really, but maybe I only feel that way because I grew up as a Muggle. I'd never seen that side of him directed at me before. It's only upsetting because now I know I've really lost my best friend. And it hurts."

Sirius sighed through his nose and after a cursory look around, he put his arm around her, pressing her to him briefly. She felt his lips brushed against her forehead, a quick gesture of comfort before he released her.

"I don't really have anything comforting to say," he admitted. "Only that he's a moron."

She laughed around the tear that had been threatening to spill and at last took her school bag from him, pulling it up onto her shoulder. "I don't think there's anything that would make me feel better. But thanks."

"Damn," he muttered suddenly and Lily whipped around to look at where his gaze had strayed. She had thought that one of their classmates had perhaps seen them, but instead she saw Professor Dumbledore stepping through the gates to approach them. "If that's not a sign of detention, I don't know what is."

"Oh no," she groaned with dread. "That's more like an expulsion sign, Sirius!"

"For me, maybe," he replied a bit too lightly. "You'll be fine."

"Ah, good afternoon, Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore said as the two of them slowly met him halfway to the school gates. He peered over at Sirius, his beard twitching. "Sirius, I think you know the way and the password by now. I'd like to see you both up in my office."

"Professor," Lily began anxiously. "About what happened – "

"There will be plenty of time for explanations later," Dumbledore said kindly. "I'll meet you up there shortly."

Stomach sinking, she followed Sirius through the gates and into the castle. He did not offer her any reassuring words and she found that she was too anxious to even begin to formulate her fears to him. Upon entering the castle, they found that most students had likely returned to the common room and the younger students were still in classes.

After some time of walking, Sirius stopped in front of an ugly gargoyle statue that eyed him wearily. "If your grandfather weren't already dead, he would die by the amount of times you're in the headmaster's office," the gargoyle said sardonically.

"Good thing he's dead, wouldn't want to disappoint yet another member of my family," Sirius replied. "Cockroach Cluster."

"Yes, yes," the gargoyle sighed and stepped aside to allow them access to the stairwell.

"Your grandfather?" Lily repeated, puzzled.

"Great-great-grandfather or some other," Sirius corrected. "Every time I end up in Dumbledore's office, he gives me an earful. That's reason enough not to get sent here." He paused in the middle of the stairwell and gave her a quick, encouraging kiss. "Don't worry about this. It'll be fine."

Lily smiled and followed him closely behind up the stairwell. When they entered, they discovered that they were not the only ones who had been sent to the headmaster's office. Professor McGonagall was standing like a vulture at the side of the massive desk looking perhaps angrier than she had ever seen her. James, Peter, and Remus were seated on one side of the room while Severus was hunkered down in another seat, a dour expression on his face. A flicker of something akin to outrage crossed his expression when he saw Lily step into the office with Sirius, who smirked at Severus tauntingly. In return, Severus straightened up in his seat, his eyes narrowing on him hatefully.

"You really are beginning to turn out to be a bad seed, aren't you?" a drawling voice said from somewhere on the wall as Lily took a seat next between Remus and Peter, while Sirius made to sit on the other side of James. She looked around, having not expected anyone to talk and her eyes landed on the portrait of a rather haughty headmaster with dark hair and a pointed beard. He was eyeing Sirius distastefully. There was no mistaking the resemblance between the two. Beneath his portrait read the name 'Phineas Nigellus Black' and the years he served at Hogwarts.

"Beginning?" Sirius replied airily as he sat down. "I think I've already gotten there, don't you, Phineas?"

"At the very least refer to me as grandfather," Phineas said in a bored voice. "Your utter disrespect shows ill breeding. Your mother should have raised you better as a member of the Black family."

"I'm sure she'd say the same."

"Quiet, both of you," Professor McGonagall said as Phineas made to deliver another scathing retort. "This is not a pleasantry call!"

"They rarely are these days," Phineas remarked. "The very least you can do is let me bond with my great-great-grandson."

"Oh, is that bonding in our family?" Sirius asked. "Makes sense why my mum's the way she is."

James and Peter snickered under their breath, but were quelled by a stony stare by Professor McGonagall.

It was some time before Professor Dumbledore returned to the office. In the minutes that passed, Lily looked at each of the instruments and admired the phoenix that cooed and fluffed its feathers from its perch, anything to avoid the stare that Severus was directing towards her. There were countless books lining the walls and she had just been reading through the title of Dark Magic and Where to Find It when the door had opened. The headmaster entered in with his usual pleasant demeanor, smiling at Professor McGonagall as he rounded his desk.

"Well," he said, sitting behind the desk, "I think I have everything I need. Let's hear from the students, shall we, Minerva? Who would like to start?"

Lily glanced around, but no one seemed inclined to say anything. Even Remus, the most level-headed of James's group, was inspecting the toe of his shoe with more interest than it earned.

"No one?"

"I don't think we need an explanation, Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall said curtly. "These students have been attacking each other all year long!"

"For good reason, I assume," Dumbledore said.

"I haven't attacked anyone," Severus offered moodily.

"Sure, you haven't," James spoke up savagely. "That's why I'm covered in blood, right?"

"You attacked me first, Potter!"

"That's a load of – "

"Quiet, please," Dumbledore interrupted, raising his hands. James and Severus cast one last glare at each other before settling back in their chairs. "As fascinating as I'm no doubt sure that exchange was meant to be, if you'll allow me to offer a version of the truth, I'd appreciate you listening." He looked around the room and when none of them protested, he smiled and nodded briskly. "Very well. What I've heard from one of the mermen in the lake is that you two – James, Sirius – called out to Severus and Severus, you grabbed your wand before a spell was cast. After James cast some spells upon Severus, Miss Evans here became involved and then Severus tried to curse James and she deflected his spell from what they could see. After that, it sounds like rather than separate, James continued to cast spells on Severus until a fellow student intervened. And, as I understand by your story, Severus, you don't know who helped you, only that it was someone in your House, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," Severus replied stiffly.

Lily frowned over at him, but he would not meet her gaze.

"Now, that is what the merman said he saw happen. Would anyone like to add to that?"

The group collectively shook their heads.

"The reason why I've called you all here is not to give detention or expel you, although I'm sure Professor McGonagall would be more than happy for me to do both. James, Sirius, Severus – you three have already been in my office, in detentions, and in more altercations between each other than I can count. I've already talked to each of you individual about my expectations while you remain here at Hogwarts. Remus, Peter, I've also talked to you both as, alas, you are complicit in what happens with your friends as a bystander."

"Y-yes, sir," Peter stuttered, blinking owlishly at him. He appeared for a second as if he were about to cry.

"I can appreciate that there can be friendly competition and even encourage that," Dumbledore continued, "and, while it has been a long time ago, I remember some of the pains of being a teenager." He smiled faintly and then turned his gaze to Lily, who shrank slightly in her chair. "As it seems you've decided to throw your hat in with this lot, Miss Evans, I hope that some of your good sense rubs off on them."

His gaze flickered to Sirius briefly and there was an almost too-knowing look in his eyes. She flushed and nodded, bowing her head to hide the heat that was seeping up her neck. Somehow, she felt that Dumbledore had perceived their closeness before he had approached them.

"You're nearly done with your OWL exams and the end of term," Dumbledore concluded with a warm smile. "I expect that next year, there will be less, ah, drama unfolding between all of you."

"That all depends on old Snivellus, professor," Sirius said casually. "After all, we've got an entire class dedicated to defending ourselves – we can't just let him hex us to death."

"Let us start by using each other's given names, Sirius," Dumbledore suggested. "Respect can go a long way between peers, even if one does not like the other."

Sirius's mouth twisted doubtfully and he and James exchanged a knowing look between each other. Lily rather suspected that Dumbledore chose to ignore this rather than address it. Even Severus had gotten a sour look on his face at the suggestion of showing either Sirius or James any degree of respect.

"Off you go, then, and no fighting, please," the headmaster said cheerfully.

"See you next year, Phineas," Sirius called to the portrait as they got to their feet.

"Give my regards to the Black family," Phineas replied lazily. "Be lucky Dumbledore is headmaster – I would have had you expelled, family or not."

"Yeah, yeah."

Rather surprisingly, McGonagall did not follow them out of the headmaster's office. Lily suspected that she had a few complaints with how Dumbledore had handled the situation, but after all there was very little punishment that could be delivered so close to the end of term.

Not wanting to attract more attention from the professors, the group was quick to disperse. Remus, Peter, and James made a beeline towards the Great Hall, with Sirius trailing behind. Severus had not moved, his eyes trained on Lily in a disbelieving stare.

"Really?" was all Severus asked her as she hesitated.

"Coming?" Sirius called out to her as her footsteps faltered. James had circled back, standing next to Sirius.

"I wouldn't bother, if it was me," James told her. "And unless you want to get nagged at by McGonagall, I wouldn't stick around."

Rather than addressing Severus, she turned away from him and approached the two. It was strange to be walking back to the Great Hall so openly with Sirius, let alone in the company of James. Only an hour or so ago, she had been shouting them down. James seemed similarly thrilled, but also too nervous to say much more to her as the three of them made their way inside. She did not even look at either him or Sirius, feeling a migraine starting from all the convoluted thoughts that were running through her mind.

"There you are!" Alice said as Lily fell beside her with a heavy sigh. "What happened?"

"Expelled," Sirius told her in a sober tone as he and James paused by the girls. Alice blanched in horror, causing him to snicker. "I'm joking. We just got pulled up into the headmaster's office. Nothing crazy."

"Very funny," Marlene snapped, casting him an annoyed glance as Alice pressed a hand to her heart in relief.

"Snape, too?" Alice asked in a hushed voice as Severus slumped his way into the Great Hall.

"Yeah, but not Avery," James answered in a dark tone.

"You guys didn't tell Dumbledore?"

"I'm not a rat."

"Should've made Peter say it, then," Sirius said and the two boys laughed. The girls stared at them blankly. Clearly this was an inside joke to which they were not privy.

"That spell he cast was frightening," Alice said with a frown.

"Just a nasty Conjuration spell," James reassured her. "Way above OWL-level, though. He probably learned it from his old man to scare Muggles or something. Anyway, sorry, Evans. Didn't mean to get you roped up in this. And...sorry about Snape. I'll lay off him if he does."

Surprised, Lily raised her eyes to James to find him giving her an earnest smile. Her gaze flickered to Sirius and he chuckled slightly before turning away from them to meet Remus and Peter some ways down. She caught the sight of his familiar, half-smile quirking his lips upward. He seemed amused by James's sudden ingratiating behavior – she was only perplexed.

"Yeah, okay," she replied after a pause. "Thanks."

He flashed a smile and then followed Sirius to join his friends.

"That was real decent of him," Alice said approvingly when he was out of earshot. "Considering what just happened."

"Considering Lily was threatening him, you mean?" Marlene supplied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well...yes, that."

Lily ignored the subtle jibe from Marlene, reaching back and braiding her hair that was now a hot mess from being out in the sun. As she did, her gaze casually strayed down the table and she caught Sirius's eye. This time, he did smile at her and she felt the flush of pleasure enter her cheeks at their secret exchange. Even after everything, including the awkward truce that James had offered between them, she was glad to have Sirius still so close in her life. It bolstered her spirits.

She only wondered what her next exchange with Severus would be like.

After dinner, the three girls departed for Gryffindor tower. Lily spent a long time soaking in the dormitory baths, aching and sore from all the tension of the day. Alone, she was able to reflect more and separate out her emotions from the day. She could not forget Severus looking at her and Sirius when they had entered the headmaster's office, the way he had stared at her afterwards when she had made to go with him. Even James had stepped in for her during the altercation at the lake when Severus had insulted her and later, upon seeing her linger with him outside the headmaster's office. She never would have imagined the day that she would be standing with Sirius and James against Severus.

Then again, Severus had never given me a reason for it to be that way, she reminded herself.

After finishing bathing, she exited the baths dressed for bed in her dressing gown, hair newly clean and damp. She saw Alice sitting on Marlene's bed, peering into a magazine that she hastily snapped shut upon hearing her approach.

"Oh, it's just you," Alice said with a sigh.

"What are you two looking at?" Lily asked curiously, climbing up in the bed and taking the magazine. "It's only Young Witch's Girl Guide – everyone reads this."

"Well, it's this recipe," she said in a hushed voice, flipping through the magazine while Marlene brushed her hair beside them. She pointed out a potion brew with the title, Madeleine's Night-After Potion Remedy – Brew the night before and never feel the pain!

"It works," Marlene said to Lily with a confident nod. "I used it myself. I've kept this magazine volume for you guys and now, finally, I get to pass it down to one of you!" She mimed a bowing gesture towards Alice, who giggled and gave her a tiny shove.

"Wait, are you going to make it here?" Lily asked, startled.

"We've already got it nearly finished. Thankfully all of the ingredients are in our potion kits. I was just checking to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. It's in that broken down bath, but it's not like anyone here cares." Marlene gave her a devilish smile. "After all, I'm sure most of the older girls wished they had used it."

"It's for...after?" Lily questioned blankly.

Alice nodded vigorously, taking the magazine and flipping it to the next page. "It even has one for birth control. This is seriously a witch's Bible for her first time."

"But what do you need it for? I thought you weren't ready for that yet."

"I'm sneaking out tonight," Alice said, lowering her voice to nearly a whisper. "There was so much excitement going on today that I didn't get a chance to tell you about it! What with OWLs and then what happened down at the lake. I thought it'd be...romantic, you know? It's warm out, there's just enough moonlight, and also Venus is in alignment with Neptune, which Katherine, one of the girls in my Divination class, said is a good sign for couples. It's the perfect night."

"Wow," Lily breathed, sitting back. "So, you and Frank are finally going to go all the way? That's a big deal!"

"I know!" Alice pressed her hands to her mouth to stifle the nervous laughter. "We've kind of been toeing the line for a while now, though, and tonight just feels right. Marlene is going to help me sneak out of the castle through one of the secret passageways – one of the other fifth-years told her about it – and Frank's going to meet me out there."

Lily would bet a hundred Galleons that the 'other fifth year' had been James if Sirius was any example.

"When are you supposed to take the potion?"

"Right before," Marlene answered for Alice. "It's supposed to go in affect right when the – well, you know, breaks. Read the article attached! It explains all of it."

Lily peered down at the article while Marlene pulled out her wand and tapped her brush, which turned to about two times its size. As Lily was reading through the chemical properties, frankly impressed that someone had gone to such lengths to protect young girls from hurting after their first intercourse, Marlene handed the brush over to Alice.

"Alright, have you been practicing?" Marlene asked her seriously. Lily looked up to see Alice give her a sidelong glance, gripping the long end of the brush pointed up towards her.

"What on earth are you doing with that?" Lily asked, laughing.

"It's how I taught myself," Marlene said defensively.

"Guys don't expect girls to know how to do that the first time, do they?"

"No, but I've heard some of the guys talk." Lily and Alice looked at her interestedly and leaned forward slightly as Marlene lowered her voice. "A lot of guys think you're a prude if you won't at least try it. And you know how stupid boys are, they talk about that kind of stuff – whether girls are good at it or not. It's better to be prepared."

"Where'd you learn to snog? From your pillow?" Lily teased.

"My hand," Marlene answered, tossing her hair back behind her shoulder. "And I've been told I'm a great kisser, so it must've come in handy." She cut a sly look towards her. "You've got a lot to say for someone who hasn't even had a boyfriend. Unless you and Severus were messing around a lot."

"No," Lily hastily said, waving her hands to emphasize her point, "definitely not. I just never thought to practice on a brush."

"Well, there's a tip for you for the future. Let's see it, Alice!"

They were thankful that their dormitory was empty, for watching Alice suck on the end of a brush was perhaps one of the most bizarre things Lily had ever seen her friend do. Marlene, however, seemed quite satisfied with her technique and congratulated her while tapping it with her wand again to return it to its normal size. Watching her, Lily felt a trickle of unease in her own belly. She was supposed to be visiting Sirius in London that summer and, with how far things had already gotten between them, she wondered whether he was expecting something similar from her. She had jokingly said that she wanted to reciprocate the favor, yet that was not even close to what Alice had done to the brush. She had noticed that she had still used her hand, though, so maybe that was part of the technique.

This is ridiculous, Lily scolded herself, feeling like an idiot for even entertaining the idea of practicing on a brush. She did not care if it made one more adept at the action. If Petunia walked in on her sucking on a brush handle, she could be the laughingstock of her sister's entire school, not to mention their neighborhood. She would never live down the mortification.

Besides, she reasoned, flipping through the magazine while the other two girls chatted about the plans for getting out of the common room that night, Sirius seems like he knows what he's doing. He would show me how to do right, wouldn't he? Or what he likes?

She buried her face behind the magazine, feeling her face heat up in embarrassment. Very briefly, an image of her kneeling in front of him had flashed into her mind, his hands in her hair, and she was reminded of countless romance novels that the girls had circulated through the school to each other. The men in those novels were always very domineering and would tell the women what to do. Recreating Sirius's voice in her mind, saying, "Just like that," made her hot all over.

"I-I'm going to keep this, if that's okay?" Lily stammered, waving the magazine at Marlene as she clamored out of the bed.

"It's all yours!" she said brightly as Lily tucked it inside her trunk. Neither she nor Alice seemed aware of her becoming suddenly flustered. "You're the final of our three to get to use it. We should pass it down to some of the younger girls when we leave. It's dead useful."

"I should go drink that potion," Alice said, checking her watch. "Ooh, I'm so nervous."

As Alice left to go to the bathroom, another of the fifth-year girls came storming in from the other fifth-year dormitory, looking exasperated. "Oh good, you're here," Mary sighed. "That boy is outside the portrait hole and won't leave. He's threatening to sleep out there."

"Who?" Lily and Marlene echoed blankly.

"That Snape boy. I was coming in from the library and he was begging me to get you out there."

"You're joking!" Marlene scoffed, raising her eyebrows. "He's got some nerve after what he called you today."

"I'm surprised he's even out there," Mary admitted, inspecting her nails coolly. "I wouldn't have even told you if he hadn't looked like he was having a panic attack about it. I actually felt bad for him, even though he runs around with that rotten Mulciber who keeps trying to hex me in the hallways."

"They say if a Slytherin boy hexes you, he secretly has a crush on you," Marlene sarcastically said in a sing-song voice.

"Ugh, I hate that we used to say that when we were first-years. So gross."

"I'll go talk to him," Lily hastily said before the conversation could turn south further. "Don't worry, Marlene, it's not going to go like it usually does."

"Really?" Marlene eyed her curiously. "That's a change."

Lily smiled at her. "I guess I've changed this year."

"I'd say," Mary told her with a giggle as she passed her to go downstairs. "Never would have taken you for the type to get detention and sent to the headmaster's office."

Lily could hear her and Marlene laughing as she made her way down the narrow stairwell that led to the Gryffindor common room. She tightened the sash around her dressing gown a bit more securely and, upon scanning the common room, felt her stomach do an odd little flip at seeing Sirius on one of the couches. He was sitting next to a first-year that looked harassed with burned hands. It appeared that him and another seventh-year were attempting some spells on the boy's hands. Sirius scratched his head idly with the tip of his wand, shrugging at something the first-year said.

Turning away from the scene, she hastened through the portrait hole before Sirius could catch sight of her. Outside, Severus was sitting in the corridor looking disconsolate. His gaze drifted upward and he sprang to his feet upon seeing that it was her.

"Just because you're a Prefect doesn't mean you can stake out someone's common room all night, Sev," Lily said to him, closing the portrait door behind her and shoving her hands into the pockets of her gown as she stepped out.

"I'm sorry."

This seemed so inadequate that it was difficult not to be frustrated. And the words that followed were no less comforting. She listened to him try to explain, to try and justify his reasons for calling her a Mudblood. When she accused him of intending to join the Death Eaters, he seemed bereft of speech. The conversation was so brief and when she made to turn away, to return back inside, he at last seemed to gather his wits to put a sentence together.

"Are you acting this way because of Black?"

She paused, turning back around to look at him. The insinuation that she, somehow, had done something wrong was too much to bear.

"Meaning what?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing at him.

"You haven't been yourself ever since you landed in detention with him."

"I could say the same for you – you haven't been acting like my friend for two years!"

"You're dating him," Severus spat out with such bitterness that she flinched. "Even after I warned you on Christmas break. You're like a different person with him!"

"Maybe I like who I am with him," she said fiercely, keeping her voice low in case any one else was behind the door. "I was miserable with you! Always making excuses for why my best friend was cursing people in my House – "

"Me? Me cursing people?" he blustered indignantly.

"Yes, you! Sirius told me all about how you kept going after James after Quidditch matches behind my back!"

Severus's mouth opened and closed several times, giving him the unfortunate appearance of a gaping fish.

"That – I didn't – so what if I did? He had no right to tell you that! And Potter needed to be taken down a few pegs."

"But you lied to me, Sev."

"You lied to me about Black," Severus retorted. "I read your letter you sent me after break – that he told you about me seeing you. I asked you if you were dating him and you said you weren't."

"I wasn't then," she stiffly answered.

"You didn't mention anything about it when I told you what happened at the Whomping Willow, either."

Lily frowned at him. The passing conversation he was referencing had not even exceeded five minutes, she had forgotten it had even happened. She had been leaving the library one Saturday evening when he had approached her to confront her about their friendship, to press more questions about her and James and Sirius, though she noticed he had been distracted at the time by her insults regarding James. They had been interrupted by a band of Slytherins teasing him when they had walked in from the courtyard, not giving him time to accost her about Sirius. Clearly, he had not forgotten.

"And why's he being so secretive?" Severus continued shrewdly when she did not respond. "What's his reason for hiding you? Did you ever think about that?"

"For goodness sake, Sev – " Lily began, exasperated, and throwing her hands up in the air.

"Did you ever to stop to think," a voice said behind her, causing her to jump in alarm, "that it's none of your damn business?"

"Stay out of it, Black," Severus spat when Sirius materialized behind her from the portrait hole. "I wasn't asking you."

"You're a spineless worm," Sirius stated with a frown. "You're here accusing me of being secretive, but you don't even have the guts to talk to her in front of other Slytherins."

"You – "

Severus's fist had clenched around his wand, but before he was given a chance to even consider casting a spell, Lily's hand whipped out faster, casting a nonverbal disarming charm on both him and Sirius, who had also raised his wand hand. Severus stared at her, livid, while Sirius was inspecting his hand interestedly, as though he had just made a fascinating discovery.

"Don't even think about it," she warned Severus, who twitched as though to move and pointed her wand tip at him. Sirius had shoved his hands in his pockets, accepting his defeat readily. "I hate that you keep attacking people for no reason other than not liking them."

"No reason?" he repeated angrily. He gestured towards Sirius. "Him and his lot are always having a go at me! Just because you're dating one of them, now you're going to defend them – "

"It has nothing to do with that," she interrupted hotly. "I've never agreed with some of the spells you use here at school! I told you before I didn't think you should be using that one you invented and look at what you did to James today because of it."

"That's rich, coming from you. I heard Mathilde Browning had her head cracked open because of you."

"Because someone in Slytherin started a rumor about me being your Mudblood slut!" Lily snapped.

The words struck Severus dumb and all the colour drained out of his face. The unasked question she had all year was lying there, laid out clearly between them.

"It wasn't me," Severus quietly said, shaking his head. "It wasn't."

Unexpectedly, his denial did not make her feel better as she once thought it would. She still felt just as betrayed, angry, and hurt as she had when Mathilde first launched the insult at her.

"Then it was probably one of your friends," she told him bitterly, tossing his wand back to him. He scrambled to catch it, momentarily caught off guard. "And probably because of something you said to them."

"Lily – "

"Just leave me alone. I obviously don't have a place in your life anymore, so there's no point in me making a place for you in mine."

She turned away from his stricken expression, pulling open the portrait door that had been left ajar, and climbed inside. She heard Sirius follow quietly behind her, closing the door behind them. It left them in the gloom of the hallway leading into the common room, which sounded quiet, as if everyone had gone to bed. She rubbed at her face, surprised to find that tears had dripped down her cheeks. This was almost more irritating than the conversation she had just had with Severus. She did not want to keep crying over him, much less in front of Sirius.

"Sorry, here's your wand," she mumbled to Sirius, handing him his wand.

"Nice reflexes," he said appreciatively, tactfully not mentioning her tears. He seemed aware that she did not want to be comforted just then.

A reluctant smile tilted her mouth up. "Thanks."

"Sorry for butting in," he added. "I heard Mary and him shouting at each other, so when you didn't come in right away, I thought he was being a pest."

"It's okay. I think I just want to go to bed now, though."

"Sure." He hesitated a second and then quietly asked, "Can you make some time after OWLs? I wanted to take you to see something before the end of term."

She smiled at him. "Of course. That sounds lovely."

"Excellent. We'll talk about it more later."

They heard voices in the common room and, with a quick smile, Sirius hurried ahead of her. She slowly made her way into the common room just in time to see Alice and Marlene coming down the stairwell. Sirius had already managed to disappear up to the boy's dormitory. The first year was still in the common room, but now had his hand in a bowl of some salve and had his head bent over a book. He was the only one remaining behind outside of the girls.

"Did you just get back?" Marlene asked in surprise as she and Alice headed towards the portrait hole. Lily followed them, giving a tiny shrug in response to Marlene's inquiry. She peeked out and then ushered for Alice to follow. "I'll open the door for you when you get back. Good luck!"

"Thanks!" Alice whispered and then hastened down the corridor.

The two of them watched her disappear around a corridor at a quick pace. Severus was nowhere to be seen. Pulling back from the portrait hole and shutting it securely behind her, Marlene turned back to Lily as they returned to the common room.

"Did you two fight?" Marlene queried.

"Sev and I always fight when we talk these days," Lily tiredly answered as they returned to the girls dormitory. "It doesn't matter, though. We're not friends anymore."

Marlene could not conceal the startled glance she threw her, although she did not comment as she might have in the past. She, too, seemed to have changed over the year. If it had been last autumn, Lily was sure she would have said something akin to "Good riddance," but must have picked up on the underlying melancholy behind Lily's words.

When they returned to the dormitory, Lily slid into bed and heaved a long sigh, pulling the covers around her.

"Are you going to stay up until Alice gets back?" Lily asked, turning to look at the other girl.

"Yeah, I'll probably go down to the common room in a few hours," she replied, pulling out a romance book that she had been reading between study sessions. "I'll be happy when you actually start dating someone. You deserve it."

She smiled faintly at Marlene's words and laid her head back, closing her eyes. For a split second, she thought about telling her about Sirius, but decided against it. She was not sure that Marlene would see Sirius as an improvement from Severus.