A/N: I've somehow managed to get through some pages in the past month. I'm sure I don't need to explain it, but there's what I would consider a pretty awkward scene towards the end of this chapter and, yes, I intentionally wrote it that way :P

(Chapter Nineteen)

Stepping out of the train station, Lily felt a little thrill at being in London on her own. That morning when she had said goodbye to her parents, Petunia had not even bothered to hide how excited she had been at the prospect of Lily being out of the house for a week.

"You could just leave for the rest of the summer," Petunia had told her in private, sitting on her bed while Lily packed the last of her things. "We wouldn't mind."

I'm sure you wouldn't mind, Lily had thought in reply to her sister at the time.

She would have been offended if it had been anyone else, but because it was Petunia, she was more surprised that she had been as polite; she supposed that Petunia was catching on quick to Mrs. Musgrave's lessons on suburban passive-aggression. Even so, listening to Petunia lament on how Lily must be terribly inconvenienced at needing to return home made her rush her packing and nearly sprint down the stairs when their father called up to her. She was glad to be away from Petunia when she settled in the car and even more glad when she had stepped onto the train. She was quite looking forward to next summer when her sister would be in London and she could enjoy time with their parents uninterrupted.

Although Petunia hasn't always been that way, Lily mused to herself as she made her way through Charing Cross Station. Strange how people can change when they get older...how different they can be.

As she stepped out of the station, she looked around and spotted Sirius leaning against the building, one of his hands in his pockets, the other holding a Muggle magazine that he was perusing. She felt her stomach flip excitedly upon seeing him. He had cut his hair sometime during the summer, although the thick, dark hair was still shaggy and curled at the nape of his neck. There was something delightful about seeing him dressed down in Muggle clothing, as she had only seen him in his robes previously. A bit self-consciously, she tugged down at her skirt, wondering if her own wardrobe made her look as if she were trying too hard to impress him.

A few feet from him were three girls giggling and eyeing him, two of them pushing on their blonde friend, as if to encourage her to meet him. A flicker of jealousy ran through Lily and just as quickly left her in dry amusement. She should not have been surprised to find that, no matter where Sirius went, he would catch some girl's eye.

Taking in a bracing breath, she made her way towards him and the three girls stared openly at her, thinking perhaps that she was meaning to approach him as they had wanted.

"Anything interesting?" Lily asked as she approached, pointing towards the magazine.

"Only rubbish, really," he told her, smiling at her in greeting and folding the magazine up. "Muggles care more about people with money than they do real news. Do you know how many of these there were to choose from? Hundreds."

"You should see the ones at my house," Lily said, laughing. "They're full of even more nonsense."

Sirius tossed the magazine into a nearby bin and then took her bag from her, slinging it over his shoulder. In another moment, he had pulled her in and kissed her, much to the disappointment of the three girls watching. Lily had to flush, unaccustomed to such an open display in public. She had not been expecting him to be so bold in front of other people, even if it was just Muggles. "It's good to see you, by the way," he added, grinning. "You can't imagine the hellscape that I've come from."

"From the stories you've told me, I can imagine," Lily said as he took her hand, leading her away from the station. "I don't know who was more happy for me to leave, either – me or Petunia."

"If your sister wasn't a Muggle, she'd get right along with my mum," Sirius said. "They sound like the perfect match for each other."

"Oh, don't worry, Petunia's found her the perfect match," Lily dryly said. "Her Vernon is about as gossipy as an old maid."

"Really?" Sirius glanced at her in surprise. "There's a bloke just like her? At that age? I'd expect it in an old man. That'll be a beautiful marriage for them – nothing like gossiping over the dinner table each night. At least they'll never get bored."

The two of them laughed at this idea, Lily with a twinge of guilt for making fun of her sister behind her back. Only when she remembered that Petunia had openly ridiculed her did her guilt subside.

"Was your dad much like your mum, too?" Lily asked Sirius as they crossed one of the busy streets, joining the bustling crowd of adults in business suits rushing back to their offices from their lunch break.

"Eh, I wouldn't say so," Sirius replied thoughtfully. "He was more like old Phineas, but a lot less talkative. Typical male of the Black family, I suppose."

"You certainly resemble Phineas," Lily teased, "if only in arrogance."

"That's our charm." He smirked at her. "I come by it honestly."

"Some might call it egotistical."

"And some might be wrong."

Sirius continued to lead her through the sweltering streets of London until they came to one of the many narrow alleyways that led off from the main street. She followed him down the steps, surprised at how much cooler it was down on the cobblestones. She peered up the length of the walls to the windows, but no one appeared to be home and the other windows were blocked off. Sirius made his way to a small door that she had not noticed before and pulled it open, ushering her to follow him inside. In spite of the dank, cold alleyway, where she stepped into was bright and lavishly furnished. Behind her, Sirius was locking the door as she stepped into the drawing room, realizing that this must be the Black townhome.

"I hadn't expected that sort of entrance," she admitted when he came to join her, setting her bag on the ground beside her.

"It's easier to hide and to get to," he explained. "There are tons of wizard homes hidden in London in alleyways. Hardly anyone travels that way so there's less worry of Muggles seeing you."

"Did your family use this a lot?" she asked, inspecting the decorations. While she could certainly recognize the wealth in it, there was a distinct lack of personalization in the townhome. It could have been anyone's house or a rented flat with how it was decorated. There was nothing to distinguish it from another family. There were no photos, no specific decorations that made it seem more wizardly than Muggle, and nothing to discern it as being from a pureblood family from something else. It was very simple in that sense, even if the curtains, wallpaper, and carpeting were ostentatious in nature.

"Only my father," Sirius answered. "It was supposed to be for when he had to focus on business or to entertain other wizards. We used to have a vacation home down in Spain and Italy, but those both got sold when he died."

"I can't even imagine having a vacation home anywhere."

"It's not all it's cracked to be, trust me. My vacations with James and his family in Spain were more enjoyable than any childhood vacation my family had."

"You've spent all your vacations with the Potters, haven't you?"

"Most of them. Well, since my first year, anyway. They're good people." Sirius sprawled onto one of the divans, stretching his arms above his head. "His dad played for the Appleby Arrows until he got a massive head injury. Nearly died from a bludger. Forced him to retire early. His mum's the village's herbologist, so they do alright."

"That explains why he's so cocky on the Quidditch field," Lily remarked, moving to join him on the divan.

"You have to admit he's a good Seeker."

"I don't have to admit anything when it comes to James Potter," she said pointedly. "I already gave him credit for playing hero."

Sirius laughed and reached up, running his hand through her hair idly. "What does that mean for me? Am I the anti-hero?"

She blushed slightly, saying, "You already know what everyone thinks of you."

He grinned up at her a little too mischievously. "What? The bad boy? I thought you didn't like those types?"

"I don't," she mumbled guiltily.

"Liar," he said, still smiling, and pulled her down to kiss him.

In this space, outside of Hogwarts and away from both their friends and family, it was easy to feel comfortable with Sirius, to relax into him on the divan. There were no fears of someone sneaking up on them in the library or even in her little study alcove. She did not have to think about Severus or Marlene or James Potter or anyone while with him. It was a pleasant change, if somewhat dangerous. Because there was no fear of interruptions, their kisses were languid, slow, almost experimental in a way they had not been before.

She was accustomed to Sirius's hands now, warm on her waist, his fingers dancing along her spine as he pulled her closer. There was a whisper, a promise of something more in the touch, even though he did not seem to intend more just then. It made a flush of excitement run through her body, thrilled and frightened simultaneously. And when he withdrew, she guiltily looked away, hoping that her body had not betrayed her. She wondered whether his mind had also drifted elsewhere.

"What would they think?" Sirius asked, smiling at her, still holding her closing to him. One of his hands was tracing idle circles on her bare thigh, sliding up and down the side of her leg, causing gooseflesh to pop up in spite of the warmth.

"Who?" she asked rather stupidly, forgetting what they had even been discussing before he had kissed her.

"Anyone," he answered flippantly. "Your friends, the school – what would they think if they saw us together?"

"Alice would be scandalized," she said, laughter bubbling forth. "Marlene would've thought I'd lost my mind."

"They'd think I was the reason you got detention," Sirius commented. "Not that I don't have plans to get you detention this year."

"What in the world for?"

"Isn't it part of my duty to show you all of Hogwarts? Experience all the fun you've missed over the years?"

"I don't think even half the student body has done most of the things you've done!"

"That's why I'm the best teacher." He flashed her a devilish smile and leaned in, kissing her throat just as his hand slid up the side of her skirt, his fingers following the delicate curve of her thigh up to her butt. She uttered a tiny sound of protest when he pulled her on top of him, her skirt riding up a little too high. "What? No one's here."

"That's not the point," she sputtered, embarrassed as she attempted to pull the skirt over her thighs.

He laughed and caught her face in his hands, his fingers tangling in her hair. "Distract me, then. You're good at it."

She rather thought he was doing a better job at distracting her just then. Even when she bent down to kiss him, however, his hands remained in her hair, anchoring her there so she could not leave. She was not particularly inclined to, even if she had made a half-hearted attempt at being demure. She shifted in his lap, pressed her stomach to his, her breasts to his chest as she kissed him, her arms winding around his neck. Somewhere different, less private, and she would not have dared; it would have embarrassed her too much to be seen in such a compromising position.

She was reminded all too starkly of their exchange in the library after their argument and how she had teased him, told him that she had wanted to return the favor. It had been a bold proclamation. No amount of magazines and articles could have prepared her for reality, of feeling him pressed against her thigh beneath her. And while if she had been approaching it from a rational perspective, she might have balked at attempting any such seduction tactics, she had abandoned that quite readily. Alone here, she was able to release the reins on herself a little, allow herself to follow instinct rather than rationality.

Lily, pressed securely against him as she was, shifted until she could feel his arousal between her thighs and rocked against it. Sirius's hands tightened on her and he groaned, pulling away from their kiss. At first, she feared she had hurt him, but caught the sight of his face and determined that she must have done something right. His breath hitched in his throat as she moved against him, a torturous friction, a promise of something more, and then he tugged her mouth back down to his, raising his own hips up to her, pinning her against him. She flushed at the feel of him, flattered that she had caused it, and feeling even a little powerful in her position just then.

When he suddenly stilled her, his hands on her hips, she broke away from him, a little dizzy and breathless. Sirius gave her a somewhat shaky smile when their eyes met, as if it had taken him all the willpower in the world to stop them from going further.

"Maybe we should...go on a walk," he suggested.

"Um," was all she said at first, her brain still floating somewhere else around her until it crashed back into her head. "Oh – yes, that's a good idea. It's, er, warm in here, anyway."

"Right," he agreed briskly.

She clamored off of him, dragging her hands through her hair in an attempt to untangle her hair. She felt strangely sweaty and still much too warm and flushed. Rather surprisingly, Sirius even had a dull tinge to his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair. She did her best to not glance down to see just how tortured he was just then. She would not be that blatant.

"I'm just going to freshen up real quick," she said. "Where's – ?"

"Oh, just around the corner," Sirius quickly answered, gesturing towards the entrance hall.

As she made to hurry off to the restroom, she caught him blowing out a breath through the corner of her eye, passing a hand over his face as if to steady himself. She hid a smile to herself as she left the room. It was not often that she saw Sirius lose his composure and a small, feminine part of her felt rather pleased.

He was the one that started it, she told herself reasonably a few moments later after she had washed her hands and was once again attempting to straighten her hair. She smoothed her hands over her hair again, peering in the mirror at her reflection. She was looking less pink in the face than when she had entered, though the reminder of what she had been doing made colour return just as quickly.

Lily braced her hands against the sink and then turned her back to the mirror, closing her eyes. She was both inexplicably excited and nervous to go back out there. She had suspected, of course, that things might get out of hand being together, but had not expected it to happen so quickly. She had blamed that on her own ignorance and lack of awareness. She knew how attracted she was to Sirius and how easy it was to lose herself with him. She had been relying on him for most of the school year to control the situation and while he had, eventually, gained some semblance of control, she seemed to be wearing on him somewhat.

It's not like it's the fifties, she added to herself, straightening up and tossing her hair over her shoulder. She sighed out a quick breath. It's the seventies, after all – we're liberated women now. I don't need to be shy. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and her shoulders drooped. Who am I kidding? That's Marlene talking, not me.

It was not that she was scared, really, but more that she worried she would do something wrong. It was easy to learn potions and spells and do well in schoolwork – this was quite unlike anything so mundane. After hearing some of the other girls' horror stories, she could not imagine embarrassing herself while naked. That was almost too horrifying, especially with Sirius of all people.

As always when her mind took her down that route, though, she had to remind herself that nothing with Sirius had felt awkward or strange, even if she, herself, had felt embarrassed. As she exited the restroom, she blamed that embarrassment entirely on herself for being too self-conscious. When in the midst of it, she was not thinking of much else except for how delightful it felt to be with him.

And that's how the other articles make it sound, Lily reminded herself, thinking of the elicit stories she had been reading in the drug store magazines. I think I trust those women more than the girls at Hogwarts.

When she entered the den, Sirius seemed as calm and collected as if nothing more spirited had happened than a polite conversation. She took a subtle peek to ascertain that the rest of his body was also similarly calm.

"Ready?" he asked her, smiling in greeting. She nodded quickly, returning the smile.

"Does my hair look a mess?" she asked him worriedly as he led her back to the door.

"Not at all," Sirius answered, taking her hand that had begun to fretfully smooth over her head again. "You look great."

She flashed him a grateful look, clasping his hand tightly in her own as they stepped out into the alleyway. Outside in public, it was easier to feel less tempted by their more carnal desires. She could enjoy his company as it was and worry about performance and everything that came with one's first time later. That was a worry she was glad to temporarily ignore.

For now, they ventured out into London to discover the city together and take the time to enjoy their brief respite from the rest of their life.

The week with Lily managed to pass by too quickly. They spent the majority of their time wandering the streets of London until sundown, exploring the varied restaurants, riding the subway together, watching football matches, and sitting on bridges across the Thames with other teenagers hollering good-naturedly at them. Sirius was pleasantly surprised to find that Lily had never been to a football match and told her stories of the ones that he had gone to with James, who was interested in all things even remotely similar to Quidditch. She taught him how to ride a motorbike in an empty parking lot where he made a grand fool of himself until managing to get a hang of it. He drove far too fast for her liking and she shrieked and clung to him when he went around a corner too quickly.

By the sixth day, they had returned the motorbike much to Sirius's disappointment and they were left to wandering by foot again, though their feet were much recovered. As the sun began to dip down as they walked through Hyde Park towards Buckingham Palace, Sirius began to get the sense, as he did every evening, that time had slowed to a crawl, almost agonizingly so.

He was rather proud of his willpower and beyond thankful that Lily was not at all like the Durmstrang girl, who had accosted him in his own bedroom at one point. While they did sleep in the same bed at night, her snuggled up to him, she was too shy to attempt anything and he was too terrified to fall asleep until her breathing had deepened and he knew she was peacefully dreaming. They had come very close to crossing that line more than once this week and while Sirius knew she was willing to go that far with him, he had always managed to stop himself. It had always been in times when they had been alone in the townhome, so he kept their time there limited.

It was not that he was averse to it – quite the contrary, as his body was quick to remind him every time he touched her. He had long abandoned any guilt when it came to James, who he knew was indulging himself in Marlene in Zanzibar based on the letters he had sent him where he had gone into more detail than Sirius could have ever needed. Instead, his mind had taken a more selfish route as he considered the possibility of a brutally murdered ego. For the first time ever, he loathed that he had managed to earn himself a reputation as some sort of experienced player. It was coming back to bite him and he was sympathizing whole-heartedly with James from Christmas break when he had explained his reasoning for becoming involved in Marlene. Sirius wished that he could even remember half of what had happened with the Durmstrang girl, but he had repressed the memory of that so far that he could not recall anything useful.

He knew it was stupid to be this prideful. It was not as if it had been particularly difficult to please Lily in the library and he had no idea what he was doing then, either. He had simply been going on instinct and thought that, the slower he went, the easier it would be to catch the signs that he was doing something right. He had wanted her then, but thought that attempting such a ploy in the library, at an awkward angle, might not have had the best results. He had wanted her the first day she had been there and that had not even been an hour into her being in the townhome. He had the impression he was fighting a war with himself rather than her, for she was patient enough to acquiesce when he withdrew from her and unlike other girls, she did not have the hurt, offended expression as if she was not desired. He was relieved that she, at least, had the sense to recognize that.

Although, with any other girl, they should have been offended – he had wanted nothing more to do with them.

Even so, Sirius was losing confidence in his ego's ability to win the war against desire. He had been so close to giving in last night, so close to just throwing caution to the wind. Glancing down at Lily walking next to him, her hand clasped in his, he was beginning to question if he even cared anymore. He wanted to please her, to give her that release that he had done before, and he wanted to be her first. If he were honest with himself, he wanted to be her first and only, if the fates aligned that way, but he was too jaded to think that possible. Nonetheless, this would be their last night together and his temper had been simmering closer to the surface all day, irritated with himself for procrastinating so much.

"Are you going to tell me what you're thinking about?" Lily asked him in amusement, pausing in front of the entrance to a garden in the park.

"Never," he replied readily enough, smirking at her as he turned into the garden. "You'd be annoying for the rest of the night if I did."

"Annoying!" she repeated with a laugh of disbelief. She shoved at his shoulder. "How dare you!"

"You know that you would," he mocked. " 'Oh, Sirius, you're too sweet.' That's what you'd sound like. I can't have that."

"I'll never call you sweet in my whole life!"

"Want to make a wager on that?"

"Are you planning to know me my whole life?" she teased, jumping onto the cement split rail, one of her hands catching at a lamp post that she hung sideways from. She spun around it lazily, looking like an urban ballerina.

"I might. Depends how much you love me."

"Maybe you'll get sick of me by the time I'm fifty," Lily suggested, smiling at him as she peeked around the other side of the lamp post. "You'll have a midlife crisis and find yourself a younger witch."

"Who has the energy for that when they're fifty?" Sirius demanded, hopping up to join her on the split rail on the other side of the lamp post. "I'm already on my way to being as grumpy as old Phineas. Can you imagine him listening to some girl in her twenties blather on for hours at a time?"

She burst into laughter at the image. "I can't imagine Phineas with anyone let alone someone younger than him! I don't think you're that cranky." She stepped around the lamp post so that she was standing between him and it, leaning against it as she smiled sweetly up at him. "You've got a pretty good attitude for being from the Black family."

"You don't see me at home," he said, leaning into her, resting his arm above her against the lamp post.

"I see you at home with me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, well...I actually like being around you."

She met him halfway when he leaned in to kiss her. She still smelled like the floral soap from her shower that morning and there was the residual taste of the candy they had eaten hours prior.

"Oi!" a voice snapped out, causing them to jump in alarm. A policeman was on the other side of the hedge, shaking his baton at them. "Get off there, you two! That's park property, that is!"

"S-sorry," Lily spluttered, embarrassed as she hastily jumped off the split railing with Sirius following shortly after.

"Bloody teenagers," the policeman muttered to himself, casting them a beady-eyed look over the hedge as he continued past them.

"Yeah, that's park property," Sirius said to Lily in an undertone, snickering. She pressed her hand to her mouth, stifling her laughter. "Stop trying to get me in trouble. I'm an upstanding citizen in the Muggle world."

"Oh, stop it!" she whispered, bumping his shoulder with her shoulder. She released a giggle and then anxiously glanced behind them to see the policeman glaring at them again.

The two of them hastily left the garden, laughing under their breath as the policeman made his way back towards them, as if thinking they were going to climb around on the cement railing again. Sirius urged her to break into a run, to put some distance between them and the policeman and only after they were out of Hyde Park did they slow to a walk, breathless from laughing and their sprinting. Lily leaned against Sirius, still laughing as he made an impression of the policeman, puffing out his cheeks and imitating his thick accent.

It was easy, in moments like these, to forget that they were not even Muggles. Everyone around them looked at them as if they were normal Londoner teenagers on summer break and Sirius could forget that by tomorrow, he would be back at Grimmauld Place and she would be back in her own home and in only a few short weeks, they would be returning to Hogwarts. Here, now, they were in their own fantasy world, insulated from the rest of the world. A week seemed too short of time to spend together and, when their laughter had ceased and they stood in a group of other people waiting to cross a busy road towards Buckingham Palace, Sirius felt a bit wistful. He wanted this blissful period to go on, to last until the end of summer and into their sixth year. He wished he would pull her along the hallways in Hogwarts, make her laugh, and be free to show her off as his own.

Ah, well, he thought with an internal sigh as the light turned and Lily lifted her head off his shoulder to begin walking. At least we have this time.

Sirius found a vantage point near the palace where they could sit on a bridge railing and the two of them settled on it, gazing up at the palace speculatively. They had passed a vendor selling sausages and Lily swung her feet as she ate hers. In all his time living in London, he had never visited the palace or even gone by it since it was a Muggle establishment. Tourists streamed by them, taking photos and posing in front of the palace. There was an American couple with tanned skin and bleach-blonde hair that pressed in close, grinning at the camera that someone pointed at them.

"It's too bad we don't have a camera," Lily commented, taking notice of the American couple, as well. "We could have taken a photo."

Sirius finished off his sausage and wiped his hands on his trousers. "Your wish is my command," he said, flashing a smirk towards her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded suspiciously as he hopped off the railing. "Sirius! Where're you going?"

He ignored her, knowing she was going to follow him regardless of whether he replied or not. Approaching the American couple, he waved his hand in greeting as they inspected their Polaroid picture. They were younger, probably in their twenties, and had the open friendliness that most American tourists had when traveling. They had asked a stranger to take their photo and seemed pleased with the handiwork.

"How'd it turn out?" Sirius asked without a greeting.

"Oh!" The woman looked up, surprised, and then smiled at him. "Really good, actually!"

"We got this camera just in time for vacation," the man said, eager to present his piece of technology to Sirius. "Look at the colour on this thing! Can you believe it comes out this good? I was worried when I bought it that all the photos would be warped." He showed Sirius the photo just as Lily caught up to him, a little out of breath from her brief run.

"Brilliant," Sirius said approvingly and then rubbed his chin as though considering something. "I don't suppose you'd mind taking our photo? I haven't gotten one of those, mum thinks it's a waste of money. I'd pay you for the film."

"Ooh, is this your girlfriend?" the woman said, beaming at them. "She's lovely!"

"She's the better looking of us," Sirius said, smiling, causing Lily to turn pink and nudge him indignantly.

"Well, go on then, Hank," the woman encouraged. "You're the photographer."

"I don't know if I'd say that," he said, although he looked quite pleased with his partner's compliment. He ushered for Sirius and Lily to stand in front of the palace, where Sirius dragged her until they were posing just like the other tourists. "One, two...and three!"

There was a flash and then the Polaroid printed out a square photograph. Hank pulled it out, fanning it as his partner took the camera, bracing it against her hip with a patient smile. He presented it to her and they bent their heads over it interestedly.

"You always know how to get free stuff," Lily mumbled to Sirius with a secret smile.

"It's my charm," he responded, smirking, as they approached the couple.

"You do look great together," the woman said with a warm smile towards them. "Thanks for letting us test the camera on you! Hank's an aspiring photographer. He's got boxes of photos of random people. He's always happy for willing models."

"Don't say that! That makes me sound creepy," Hank muttered.

"Not at all," Lily was quick to reassure. "You sound more like an artist than anything."

Hank gave her a reluctant smile at this description.

"Cheers," Sirius said, taking the photo the woman handed to him.

The two of them ambled off while Sirius held up the photo for the to inspect. It was strange to see an unmoving photograph of himself, but he had read through enough Muggle magazines and papers to be accustomed to it. The sight of him looking so happy surprised him. It was not just that he appeared happy, but he almost did not recognize himself. He was grinning and Lily looked pleased, her eyes bright and her cheeks pink. He had thought previously that he was the exact antithesis of what anyone would imagine a partner for her would look like; on reflection, though, he had to concede what the woman had said was right – they did look good together. Perhaps it was the week together or being with her, but Sirius did not have his usual sly smirk or sardonic look to his eyes that was so often in photographs. He looked like every other teenage boy with his girlfriend. It was an unsettling image, although not unpleasant.

"This is for you," he told her after he completed his inspection.

"You don't want it?" she asked in surprise.

"I have one of us," Sirius reminded her with a smile. "From Slughorn's party. And besides, you were the one who mentioned it. Keep it for when you're at home over the holidays."

She gave him a reluctant smile, tucking it into her dress pocket and buttoning it. "I can't believe you got us a free photo. How do you do that?" She gestured vaguely towards where the couple had been. "You know...just run up to strangers and ask for things?"

"I wouldn't do it to anyone," he said, looking around and then pointing at a group. "Look at those people – obvious French tourists. I wouldn't ask them for a damn thing."

Lily looked around until she found the group to which he was referring. He could see her sizing them up, considering them a moment before her mouth twisted in reluctant agreement. One of the women in the group had spotted a middle-aged man in round, thick glasses and had cast him a disparaging glance, throwing her hair over her shoulder. The man had not even noticed her, continuing past her and pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Yeah," Lily said after a moment, "I can see that."

"You can't go wrong with American tourists," Sirius added, "and besides, I could tell he wanted to show off his Polaroid."

"How do you even know about that?"

"Muggle magazines," he answered with a shrug. "There's loads of ads for them in the motorbike books I look at."

The two of them walked around the square for a bit longer until, having seen everything they wanted from Buckingham Palace, they made their way to the other side to begin heading back to the townhome. They walked slowly, neither seeming particularly in a hurry to return. When they had walked far enough from the more tourist area of London, the sound in the streets settled, the glow of streetlamps the only lighting. Other teenagers rushed by, laughing and calling out to each other. Adult couples strolled by languidly, hand-in-hand, and groups of younger adults rushed by either drunk or heading to the next pub.

"I wish we had more time together," Lily said in the quiet after some time of walking.

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, glancing at him uncertainly. "I was thinking...what if we spent Christmas break together? We could go somewhere."

He cocked his head, looking at her. "What would you tell your parents? That you were staying at Hogwarts?"

"Well, sure. They wouldn't think anything about it – I've stayed at Hogwarts during break before. But it's more that I don't think James or anyone would believe you want to go back home during the holidays."

Sirius huffed out a laugh. "Merlin, no. There's no way they'd believe me. But...I'd like if we did this again next summer. Maybe for longer than a week?"

She smiled. "I think I could manage that."

The two of them began to launch into a long list of things that they wanted to do next summer, Sirius making a promise that he would have a motorbike by then so they could, in fact, cruise most of London without worrying about walking. Even as they talked, though, in the back of Sirius's mind, he worried about how much could happen in a year. His entire world had shifted in the last year – what could happen to them in the space of a year? Could James find out or worse yet, would his family discover her? Snape's threats still hung heavy on his mind, even if he had dismissed him then. Relying on Snape's good senses was a gamble and, if he were honest, relying on himself not to slip up and reveal himself was just as dangerous. Sirius was sure he had covered himself well, but he had been careless in London. He doubted anyone in Muggle London would run in the same circles as his family, yet there was a hint of unease in his mind, as though he had seen someone and his memory could not recall them to mind.

Shaking the thought away, he instead tried to envision next summer and the years ahead. If they could make it to their last year of Hogwarts together, then Sirius could reveal their relationship to James and he could separate from his family. It would be easier, then, to keep her safe from his family when he was not constrained by the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery or being forced to sneak around behind closed doors because of his friends. He kept that thought in mind as he thought of next summer. If all he could get was a few weeks a year privately with her – or even a week – he would hold onto that. He had to believe that she would still want to be with him at that point.

Once they arrived at the townhome, Sirius busied himself with turning up the oil lamps while Lily disappeared into the bedroom. There was a heaviness that had fallen between them the closer they had gotten to the townhome. This was their last night together and even though neither of them had explicitly said as much, neither was looking forward to saying their farewells tomorrow. Sirius, for his part, had returned to his earlier train of thought and that simmering irritation that had been brewing all day had returned. He felt strangely inadequate for not pursuing intimacy with her sooner in the week.

Other guys would have, he bitterly thought to himself.

Sighing to himself, he made his way to the bedroom where Lily was pulling off her socks, piling them neatly on her shoes. She smiled at him when he entered the room, which was still dim since she had only lit one of the lamps.

"Did you want to shower first?" she asked him.

A corner of his mouth kicked upward. "Or we could shower together."

As he expected, she went pink from embarrassment, though rather unexpectedly she did not reject his offer immediately. He had only been halfway joking. Instead, she worried her lip between her teeth and then raised one of her shoulders, averting her gaze.

"We could...," she slowly replied.

He laughed slightly, hoping it would smother his nervousness. He made his way to the bed and sat next to her, drawing her in a little closer. When he kissed her, he could feel his stomach do horrible little somersaults and at the same time, his body lit up in recognition simply from kissing her. As he pulled her down onto the bed with him, a million thoughts raced through his head. Too many stories, too much stupid advice from boys that were virgins themselves, and all of it was smothered when she tugged him down closer to her. His mind was swept perfectly blank when he felt her hands run up his chest, find his hair, and pull him closer.

She fit perfectly against him and touching her was organic when his brain stopped working. He had been here with her before – so close to the edge, so close to doing more, but this time he had no reason to stop. Fitting himself against her, pulling her legs around his waist and finding her tongue with his own, he was assaulted by a dizzying effect. Her legs tightened around him, pulled him closer, and the thin layers of clothing felt more frustrating than usual.

It was the mere brush of her fingertips against his bare skin, a shy movement that nearly undid him. She had begun to pull up his shirt and, with her encouragement, he obligingly pulled it over his head. It was not as if he had not been shirtless in front of girls before, but somehow he felt more exposed with her even though she had seen him this way once. Her eyes lingered on him, her face flushed, though she did not look displeased by any means. When he kissed her again, Sirius shivered a bit at the feel of her bare hands running over his back, along his sides and it spurred him to touch her, to press himself against her and dare to see more of her, just as she had done.

The buttons of her dress were frustrating and made him feel clumsy. He decided in that moment that Muggle clothing was by far the worst construction of anything he had ever seen and gave him yet another reason for hating that he did not have his wand. That thought floated somewhere in the atmosphere when he pulled Lily's dress off her shoulders, kissing her throat, her shoulders, and then the tops of her breasts. The dress slid down further and instinct took over as the tip of his tongue found the rosy bud. She released a shaky breath, gasping, and he knew he had done something right.

Lily made everything easy for him. If it was not her sounds of encouragement, then he could tell by how her body trembled and writhed that she was enjoying herself. His own body reacted to the sounds, to the sight of her looking so pleased beneath him. He had stripped everything but the thin panties from her and he was still only in his jeans. Lily seemed to become aware of this too, as she made a deft movement to unbutton his jeans. She was better than he was at it, accustomed to the annoying buttons, although she hesitated a beat before beginning to ease the jeans down his hips and a moment later, he had managed to get the last piece of clothing off her until they were naked to each other.

Sirius felt that he would have been quite happy with getting that far, but when she experimentally took him in her hand, his body violently disagreed with him. He groaned, his body melting into the bed as her hand moved up and down his shaft. She was slow, uncertain, and after a few moments of torture, he took her hand and guided her, showed her how to touch him. It was thrilling to have her hand over him when he had imagined her so many times in such a similar position. Reality was so much different than fantasy, though.

"I-is that...okay?" she asked, though her breath was a little fast.

"That's perfect," he murmured, kissing her and finding her own sensitive, aching spot. It was hard to concentrate with her gripping him, but a rush of masculine satisfaction jolted through him at feeling how wet she had become. Her grip tightened around him as he slid a finger inside her and he sucked in a breath and caught her hand quickly, pulling himself away until he knelt over her, his fingers stretching her.

"Sirius."

He was not sure he could wait any longer. They had waited long enough and he wanted to feel her, to make her his. She looked beautiful, her auburn hair spread out beneath her and her skin flushed pink from his ministrations. All of the uncertainties from earlier had fled in the face of his desire for her.

"Are you sure?" he asked her quietly, leaning down to kiss her again.

She blinked her eyes open, briefly disoriented, and then she smiled. "Yeah."

He hesitated a beat and decided, in a rush, to be honest. "I...haven't ever really done this. I don't know what I'm doing, so tell me if it hurts."

A flicker of surprise crossed her face, but she only nodded and then pulled his mouth down to hers to kiss him. As she did, he fitted himself between her legs and carefully slid himself inside. Her body tensed and there was a brief pressure and resistance until her body took all of him in. She broke away from him with a sharp gasp.

He had no idea where to go from here. In fact, there was a brief second where his brain and body warred with each other. He was worried for her, sure that he had hurt her, but his body did not want to listen to reason. Frustrated, he pressed his face against her shoulder and slowly moved in and out of her. His body was strung tight and needed some sense of release. It was painful to sit still, to not move and feel how warm and tight she was around him.

At first, he thought the entire thing must have been horribly unpleasant and she was going to break up with him the moment it ended. Instead, though, she was clinging to him a little harder, her breath was quickening, and then a low whimper escaped her lips.

"Sirius," she moaned softly, her own hips raising to meet his thrusts. "Oh. Oh, Sirius – "

Suddenly, it was all so easy again and the threat of failure was eradicated. Hearing her, it did not matter whether he was doing it correctly or even accurately – she was enjoying herself and that's all that he was concerned about just then.

Eventually, they did end up showering, although it was easy to be enticed again. After being patient and holding back for so long, there was little reason to not indulge in each other. Lily was more shy in learning his body, although she gained confidence when she discovered the pleasure he got from her touch. He found the elusive spots on her body that even she had not known could bring her arousal and in return, she tortured him with her hand around him, tentatively brushing and moving over him in an unintentionally teasing manner.

When they at last were too tired and at last satiated, Lily curled up against him in the covers, her hand lying on his bare chest.

"What did you mean?" she asked into the silence.

"Hmm?"

"When you said you haven't really done this before?"

Sirius almost grimaced. He knew that Lily was too perceptive to simply let that comment slide without further investigation, even if he had spent hours distracting her.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked in a dry tone. "I told you not to believe all the rumors about me."

"But...in the library, you were so good at it, so I thought – "

Sirius could not help his laughter. "Are you trying to say I have natural talent?" he teased.

"Oh, stop it!" she scolded, raising her head to scowl at him in the gloom. "You just come off so confident."

"Maybe I'm just confident in knowing what I want," Sirius suggested with a crooked smile. He tugged her back down, kissing her. She seemed mollified by this, resting her head back on his shoulder. "I've done it – not with anyone from Hogwarts – but it's not like I was a willing participant. I didn't do much. I don't like to count it. Outside of that, I haven't done much of anything with anyone."

Lily was quiet for a long moment.

"Did you fall asleep?" he asked, slightly offended.

"No!" she snapped unexpectedly. "The thought of that just makes me so angry. What a horrible first experience."

Sirius smiled and then reached over to kiss her on the forehead. "Don't worry. You've more than made up for it tonight." He smirked suddenly. "In fact, if you take advantage of me when we get back to school, I might even start telling people you were my first."

"Don't tease me."

"I'm not." He kissed her again, more slowly and softly. "I wish you had been."

She gave him a reluctant smile. "Well, if that's how you want to frame it...I guess I won't complain." She suddenly giggled to herself.

"What?"

"Just...you're kind of sweet when you want to be."

"It's not often I get in the mood, so don't get used to it."

She grinned up at him. "You liar."

"Yeah," he agreed without argument, returning her grin. "Little bit."

"You don't have to lie to me, you know." There was a short silence, then she added, "Promise you won't."

He glanced down at her, taking note of the sudden quietness in her voice. He ran a hand over her hair and then kissed her temple. "Sure. I promise – it's an easy one to keep."