There are parts of this directly lifted from Smeyers fanfic that we like to call "Breaking Dawn"
I had so much fun writing this one...even though it infuriated me at times.
This is the wedding scene and how I envisioned it going! Enjoy friends 3
"Oh! Hey, kiddo. Didn't see you there. Where did you-"
Charlie asked, scanning the forest with squinted eyes.
I pulled him inside behind me. "C'mon, Dad. Is mom here yet?" I asked, shutting and locking the door behind us.
"Wait, wait. Let me get a look at you!." He stepped back to take Alice's creation all in. "Wow. Gonna make your old man cry. You look stunning, sweetie. And, uh, yeah, she's somewhere arou-"
"My baby! Oh, my baby!" My mother wailed out as she excitedly ran down the steps, arms outstretched. Alice gracefully bounced behind her.
"Speak of the devil," Charlie muttered.
"Mom!" I awkwardly shuffled towards her until she flung herself in my arms.
"Oh, Bella!" she squealed. "Oh, honey, you're so beautiful! Oh, I'm going to cry! Alice, you're amazing!
You and Esme should go into business as wedding planners. Where did you find this dress? It's gorgeous! So graceful, so elegant. Bella, you look like you just stepped out of an Austen movie." My mother's voice sounded a little distance away, and everything in the room was slightly blurry.
"Such a creative idea, designing the theme around Bella's ring. So romantic! To think it's been in Edward's family since the eighteen hundreds!"
Alice and I exchanged a brief conspiratorial look. My mom was off on the dress style by more than a hundred years. The wedding wasn't actually centered around the ring but around Edward himself.
If only they knew.
"Renée, Esme said it's time you got settled out there," Charlie said.
"Well, Charlie, don't you look dashing!" Renée said in a tone that was almost shocked.
"Is it really time already?" Renée said to herself, sounding almost as nervous as I felt. "This has all gone so fast. I feel dizzy."
That made two of us.
"Give me a hug before I go," Renée insisted. "Carefully now, don't tear anything."
My mother squeezed me gently around the waist, then wheeled for the door, only to complete the spin and face me again.
"Oh goodness, I almost forgot! Charlie, where's the box?"
My dad rummaged in his pockets for a minute and then produced a small white box, which he handed to Renée. Renée lifted the lid and held it out to me.
"Something blue," she said.
"Something old, too. They were your Grandma Swan's," Charlie added. "We had a jeweler replace the paste stones with sapphires."
Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs. Dark blue sapphires were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth.
My throat got all thick. "Mom, Dad… you shouldn't have."
"Alice wouldn't let us do anything else," Renée said. "Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."
Alice stood proudly.
"We chose sapphires since they symbolize nobility, truth, and the ability to make wise and good choices. It also stimulates the third eye chakra, which controls intuition and perception! Aren't they beautiful, honey?"
Charlie cleared his throat. "Aside from all… that, we thought dark blue would be a nice color on you."
Guilt flowed through me. Nobility? Truth? I definitely wasn't noble enough to tell them this was likely the last time I'd ever see them or the entire fundamental truth of the situation. Because I couldn't, it wasn't an option. I couldn't expose the Cullen's secret, and even if that wasn't a factor, I didn't have the heart to break their brains completely. Imagine if I was truthful with them right here, right now?
"Mom, Dad, I'm so happy you're here, and I love you. But I need to tell you that this is the last time you will ever see me. I'm probably going to fake my death, or you'll see "me," but it won't really be me. It'll be someone thirsty for the blood running through your veins. I won't have a heartbeat. I won't be your daughter anymore. All characteristics of you both will be altered. I'm sorry. But I chose this."
They wouldn't comprehend it. I barely could.
Alice stepped up and quickly slid both combs into my hair under the edge of the thick braids.
"There," Alice said with satisfaction. "A little color—that's all you needed. You are officially perfect." With a little self-congratulatory smile, she turned to my parents. "Renée, you need to go find your seat."
"Yes, ma'am." Renée blew me a kiss and hurried out the door.
Alice did a double take at my dirt-covered feet. I braced myself for the blow.
"You leave my sight for mere minutes! Though what do I expect when you run around with that….boy. And to think you're about to be a Cullen! Let's get you cleaned up, Bella. Now!"
Charlie's mouth fell open, with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Now wait just a minute, Alice, don't talk to her that way. She's stressed enough. You can make your point without using that tone."
Alice scoffed.
"Look at the bottom of the dress, Charlie. She's got dirt on that, too! The bottoms of her feet are probably filthy. Do you know how much her shoes cost?"
Alice glared into my father's eyes, and I saw it happen so quickly that if I blinked, I would've missed it.
It was as if her irises radiated some sort of…wave that linked into Charlie's. It was so subtle and quick that I probably would have rationalized it as a reflection or something with the lighting. But no. There was no explaining the way Charlie's face and demeanor changed immediately. His furrowed brows straightened, and the concern melted off his face.
"I-ah, yeah." He fumbled for his words and didn't blink or look away from Alice's porcelain face.
"I am guessing they were expensive. You put so much work into Bella today; I'm sorry. I can clean her up, Alice; you have already done so much," he whispered. It was like watching an animal cower before a hunter. He finally blinked when she broke eye contact to turn to look at me.
"No, I got it, Charlie. She is my responsibility for the day," she said with a laugh that Charlie too quickly mirrored.
"Oh? And Bella? Who were you outside with?" he asked.
The blood rushing to my cheeks made me even dizzier.
Lying would be useless since he would likely cross Jake at some point today, and Jake would undoubtedly be hard to miss with his stature. Charlie won't be happy to know that Jacob appeared so casually after all the efforts of trying to find him.
"I-it was Jacob. He, um, wanted to just stop by for this, I guess. He was fine, like I tried to tell you."
Charlie's eyes bulged out of his head.
"Jacob Black? All that damn worry for him to waltz on in as if nothing happened? Is he still here?! Where the hell was the boy hiding?"
I sighed. "I don't know, Dad, I didn't get that far. You'll be able to speak with him after the ceremony."
"Ahem." Alice grabbed my arm and nodded to my feet.
"I-I'm sorry, Alice, go ahead," Charlie said.
She trailed me upstairs, babbling on and on about the wedding and the rules and the decor and the future that she saw so clearly. I only pretended to care.
———
"Easy, Bells," Charlie said. He turned to Alice nervously. "She looks a little sick. Do you think she's going to make it?"
His voice sounded far away. I couldn't feel my legs.
"She'd better."
Alice stood right in front of me, on her tiptoes to better stare me in the eye, and gripped my wrists in her hard hands.
"Focus, Bella. Edward is waiting for you out there."
I took a deep breath, willing myself into composure.
The music got louder and louder from outside as I walked to the top of the staircase. It was time. Charlie nudged me. "Bells, we're up to bat."
"Bella?" Alice asked, still holding my gaze.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Edward. Okay." I let her pull me down the stairs with Charlie tagging along at my elbow.
The music was louder by the time we got to the door downstairs. I concentrated on the idea of Edward waiting to get my feet to shuffle forward.
"It's my turn," Alice chimed, opening the door. "Follow me." She began a slow, graceful dance down the path leading back to the ceremony. I should have realized that having Alice as my only bridesmaid was a mistake. I would look that much more uncoordinated coming behind her.
The fresh air felt incredible in my lungs; I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I exhaled the dewy breeze. I focused on my aching feet that clumsily trudged on behind Alice. I heard the sudden trill of the crowd soaring from the music. It was my cue. I looked up at Alice to see that she was at the start of the aisle.
Alice, of course, planned for it to be the cloudiest day of the month to conceal the Cullens diamond faceted skin from the guests. The low-hanging mossy trees, white blossoms, and lights also assisted with this. It was utterly stunning, a wedding from someone's dreams.
I felt my knees go weak as Alice got out of the way for me, and I took my first step onto the aisle.
"Don't let me fall, Dad," I whispered. Charlie pulled my hand through his arm and then grasped it tightly.
One step at a time, I told myself as we began to descend to the slow tempo of the march. I didn't lift my eyes, though I could hear the murmurs and rustling of the audience as I came into full view. Blood flooded my cheeks at the sound; of course, I could be counted on to be the blushing bride.
This was going to be worth it; it had to be. I wanted Edward all to myself forever. My heart leaped thinking of him looking at me right now. But I still couldn't bring myself to look up; I felt embarrassed to be perceived by him, by the crowd. Someone so plain and ordinary marrying a God. I'm sure it looked ridiculous.
What did everyone here think he was marrying me for? In what world would someone like him ever want me? This is something that I've never been able to accept, and I hoped that once his venom sculpted my genes to be like him, I wouldn't have to question it anymore.
But it was all still just a hope.
With each step, I felt my inferiority loom over me as the garlands above me did. The chatter of the crowd morphed into cruel voices swirling around my head. I knew they weren't real, but my tired, anxious brain forced me to listen to them.
"She looks awfully tired."
"Edward Cullen could have done so much better. What about those blonde women over there?"
"Is she going to pass out?"
"That dress looks hideous on her."
"She looks like a bag of bones."
"Edward looks magnificent!"
"That's who he chose?"
"Her face looks so red!"
"Marrying so young."
"She can't even look up, so pathetic."
My neck shot up in response.
Edward nearly took my breath away. I felt electricity zap through my veins. Our eyes met, and I felt at home. His beautiful face called to me and pulled me closer to him. It didn't feel like anything natural; it didn't feel like this world could contain such feelings, such strong feelings. I was his disciple.
I was barely conscious that Carlisle stood by his side and Angela's father behind them both. I didn't see my mother, where she must have been sitting in the front row, or my new family, or any of the guests—they would have to wait till later.
All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.
His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion. And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.
Suddenly, I was jolted backward with another flashback. I was drowning again, swirling down to the bottom of the endless ocean of blood. Edward's breathtaking smile was the last thing I saw before I fully submerged. Everyone in attendance today was down here with me. Their bodies were dismembered in strange ways, some faces barely able to recognize. I saw my parents, I saw the wolfpack, I saw everyone in town. Dead. All because of me. Because I chose this.
His voice from a year and a half ago leaped into my ears: "I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in — my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!"
"It's not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else."
"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin… I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…you would have come."
"Without a doubt."
I blinked, and it all went away. I started to panic. Typically, Edward makes the nightmares go away; he lulls them to sleep. So how can this be happening? Now, of all times?
"Bells?" Charlie said in my ear, shaking my shoulder. "Come on now, you OK?" I stopped in my tracks.
I turned to look at my father's face. He was only doing this because I told him this was right for me. But he doesn't know a thing. He wanted to be a supportive father, and that alone twisted my stomach. I remember how upset Charlie was when he asked me to give him some notice before I ran off with Edward, and I laughed at him as if that wasn't exactly what I was doing. He'd support me no matter what unless he knew the truth.
The concern on his face mimicked the same look from earlier when Alice changed it. She did…something. It was only ever Jasper that could manipulate emotions. But she did it too. It was as if she hypnotized him into obedience.
It's no secret the Cullens were able to "dazzle" people. I had always thought it was because of their otherworldly beauty, like how people feel meeting their favorite celebrities. But no, this was different. My father is not one to be easily swayed. It was something chemical.
Instinctively, I pushed Charlie off of me. I couldn't breathe. I saw Edward's smile drop; he sensed my panic and walked over to me. I could see the unnatural movements in his stride, a mask. It was all a mask.
The feeling of the cool miracle of Edward's hands startled me.
"Bella? What's going on, love. Are you hurt? Is it the shoes, or is the dress too tight? Come on, I've got you."
Edward cautiously walked me up to the altar and positioned me to face him, taking both of my hands. His familiar frozen hands comforted me and almost eased up my shaky fingers. But they still sent a shiver throughout my whole body.
Angela's father was speaking, but it sounded like static to me. I couldn't pay attention, and even more so when I looked into Edward's amber irises. He gave me a reassuring smile, but I still saw him questioning the reason for my bloodshot eyes. His beauty made me even more breathless; his scent was dizzying, and I couldn't focus on any one thing at all. I scanned the sea of faces before us and felt my knees buckle again.
My mother's encouraging expression assured me she was oblivious to my anxiety. As for everyone else, I could not read their expressions as they whispered in each other's ears. I went to turn my head to look back at Edward, but instead, Jacob's statuesque figure caught my eye.
He was the furthest away behind everybody, leaning against a post, arms crossed. His expression was unreadable in the distance, but he knew I saw him. He deliberately and solemnly shook his head back and forth.
When I looked at Jake, it was much different from when I looked at Edward. I felt the butterflies burst through my gut, and he, too, took my breath away, but I didn't get dizzy, and I didn't feel like I was going to faint. I felt normal, like myself. I felt…strength. And I think it's because Jacob Black was the only one in this ridiculous, messed-up world who didn't treat me like I was a fragile, useless thing.
I looked back at Edward's bewildered expression.
"Bella. I said, I do," he whispered so only I could hear him.
I finally could focus on Mr. Weber's voice, realizing that it was my turn to say those same words.
"Isabella Swan, do you take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him, love, trust, and commit to him through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I-"
The crowd silenced. I looked out at my future family's faces. So beautiful, so perfect, making everyone else look so bland. My eyes searched for Jacob by the post in the back, but I didn't see him anymore. I scanned all around, but he was gone.
I couldn't blame him. I was lucky he even showed.
I looked back at my fiancé, my miracle. I could be his forever, right now. I just had to say it. But what's the catch?
Well, for starters:
This isn't a wedding. This is a funeral.
I had zero control over what happened next. It wasn't my decision; it was my body's decision. It was the screaming voice in the back of my head that made me snap, that made me run, that made me think of nothing but getting the hell out of there.
Instinctively, I threw off the heels that dug blisters into my ankles and dashed down the aisle as fast as my exhausted body allowed. I caught a glimpse of the horrified guests getting up from their seats. I heard the whispers of shock and the gasps filling the air.
I didn't care.
My panic muted their chatter, and none of their words computed. I soared past them; my burning muscles propelled me deep into the lush forest that welcomed me.
A weak, frail human, physically maybe. But the humanity within me was fighting to stay. Or at least it was telling me to give this some more thought.
The forest didn't look real; it looked like a blur, making it easy for me to claw through the branches that would typically hold me back. My heart beat furiously to keep me alive, the machine working full force.
All this time, I was so insistent about what I wanted, so insistent about being turned. The sooner, the better, I've been saying. Why wait? I'd ask. Sure, I'll marry Edward at age 19! If that's the condition, I'll do it! Let's get it on with already. And I realize now that it was because I didn't want to think too hard about it; I just wanted it to be done. I didn't want to think about how I'd never be able to see anyone I loved again; I didn't want to think about the future I was losing. It was too painful, so painful I couldn't even comprehend it.
I fell countless times, getting my knees all skidded up. The wet blood glided down my legs, But I kept going.
I wanted Edward; I wanted to be perfect, to be free finally. To escape this world and live as an indestructible immortal. Of course, I did! I also know how it felt to lose Edward, but I couldn't ignore my feelings today. I couldn't grasp that this was my day to say goodbye. It's one thing to say you're ready to make such a permanent decision, and it's another actually to go through with it. Edward laid out a perfect life for me to never have to worry about anything ever again. I'd never feel pain again, I'd never have to work or worry about financials, I'd never die. But it was the easy way out.
I used my dress as a sled to slide down the muddy rocks and grass while the forest floor dipped into a hill. It would've been easier to climb in the car, my gifted Mercedes Guardian, but the thought repelled me so much, and I certainly wasn't in any position to drive.
The disappointment I must have caused, the complete embarrassment and guilt I feel. Dragging everyone to attend for me to just run away like a coward. Was anyone expecting it? I honestly did try. I tried so hard to push the nightmares out. I tried so hard to focus on Edward, but when his presence did not force them away, I knew something was very wrong. I tried to do this right, all for it to blow up in my face. And I have never felt more confused in my life.
I kept kicking through the trees until my lungs forced me to slow, and my bare feet were in complete agony. I hunched over, hands on my knees, heaving. Once I caught my breath, I straightened myself upright and started walking. About 10 feet before me, I noticed a big black boot propped upright on a rock. I didn't need to get any closer to know it was Jacob's; the shredded denim and white cotton in the surrounding area gave it away.
"Must have just missed him," I muttered to myself breathlessly. I didn't come out here to look for Jacob, but it would've been helpful if he could have ran me back home. The perks of having a wolfy friend are that they run much faster, even in their barefoot human form. I was a fool to think I'd be able to do it, too.
My conversation with Jacob earlier about him living the rest of his life in his wolf form blared in my head. Oh, God, no. He wouldn't, would he? He seemed so nonchalant about it, so casual about never being human again. Just like I was, he was mirroring my decision, but I hadn't made a decision yet; I couldn't! If only he would've stayed just a few minutes.
"Ugh!" Tears started streaming down my cheeks, and the sobs of defeat soon took me over. I was a mess. What was I even doing? I thought I was finished making such a mess of things, but here I am, back at it again!
I laid down on a bed of moss and pulled my knees up to my chest. My mind felt like a hornet's nest, and I had no idea how I felt or what was right. I just kept being stung over and over by contradicting feelings.
One buzzing hornet says that I love Edward. I love everything about him, down to every detail of what made him up. I value him over myself, which is what love is supposed to be: selfless. I love the safety of his arms and the intensity of him. I would not be able to live without him; I couldn't. This hornet says it was silly that I ran, but it's okay that I still needed more time to get married since I was so young. It knows that I will end up with Edward in the end.
Another buzzing hornet says that the electricity, the love, the adoration, and the intensity I feel for Edward is a fight or flight response. It's the subconscious feeling of being near something so dangerous. It's the vampiric lure that they use on humans that draws me to him. This hornet says I made the right decision in running.
A sudden gust of wind rushed towards me, and immediately, I knew I wasn't alone. I silenced my sobbing and wrapped my arms around my head in embarrassment, hoping I wouldn't be found, but I knew it was no use. They were able to smell me from miles away.
I knew it was Edward and someone else, but I didn't want to open my eyes. They'd have to pry them open.
"Bella! Bella, Bella, no, no, no. Talk to me. Talk to me! Alice didn't see this… I don't understand!" It was surprising to hear Edward so hysterical. I yearned to comfort him but didn't have it in me to move.
"Edward, let her go; I've got her," Rosalie said as I sensed her crouch in front of me, pushing him away.
"Don't you dare get between me and my wife right now. Don't act like you suddenly care about Bella; if you even knew her, you would know she suffers from anxious thoughts. Just listen to her heart; it's much too fast for a human!"
I couldn't catch my breath, let alone speak. I couldn't answer him. I kept my face hidden.
"She ran away for a reason, Edward. This isn't just an anxious human; this is a traumatized one! When will you understand that? Move." Rosalie pushed Edward hard into a tree, which sounded like it snapped in half under the impact.
"Hey." Rosalie shook me gently. "Where would you like me to take you?"
Edward flew back over to us.
"You stay away from her; her knees are bleeding. Get away!" Edward pushed her hard. "You're the most selfish being on the planet. As if you can try to hide those idiotic thoughts of yours."
"I'm selfish," Rosalie laughed." I'm selfish?! You ruined this girl's life; you damned her knowing that she would not be able to escape you. She never had a chance; I always knew that trying to get her to understand was pointless. Do you think that what you two have is special? Really, I'd love to know. As if I couldn't go out anywhere to find myself a human man and make him fall in love with me. Do you think that that's unique? My God, it would be so easy to make a human fall in love. It's in our design! Zero effort! Just a bit of eye contact, a smile, getting close enough for them to smell me. And not just me, but any one of us! There's a reason we don't romantically pursue humans, Edward—especially ones whose brains aren't fully developed. Call me selfish all you want, but you're the selfish one for going after her and pretending that this wedding could be real. It would've been better to kill her quickly and be done with it. But instead, you just drag it on; you knew the options and how this would turn out. Either in her death or her to be one of us. This isn't real love. It fully makes me sick. Now look at her."
"And that's where you're wrong, Rosalie. You know that I can't stand to see this, and you know that I never wanted this. I can't even bear the thought of her turning! But it's what she wants, and I swore to her I would never leave her again until she ordered me away. I do agree I am selfish; I would never deny that. What am I supposed to do? We almost died without each other. I live to protect her now. It's the only thing that I have. I love her beyond my comprehension, and she loves me. I don't know why she does, but she does."
"And? Even if it really is love, as you say, is love worth dragging everyone else into your mess or involving the Volturi, so now your entire family has to be on guard? And do you think she even knows just because she says she wants it? She is a girl, for crying out loud! Who you met a year ago. Don't you see that saying "we almost died without each other" is completely flawed? She only wanted to die because how could a human be exposed to such things and go back to normal? You know the effect we have on them, and you left her with trauma. It's a joke, Edward; the only reason you "love" Bella is because you can't read her mind, and trust me, you would be gravely disappointed if you could. Because you love the idea of her! Having her stay with you and be changed turns her into somebody else and strips her of everything that you "love," aka her scent, so what will the purpose be? She's just a girl, and you can't tell me otherwise. You will never be able to convince me that this was worth it in any way, no matter how it pans out. You need to go now!"
"Oh please, Rosalie, I already know your jealous, vain mind. I've had the displeasure of having to listen to it for decades. I know how you work. You envy her humanity, and you'll always be miserable. Bella doesn't think like you or any other female mind I've had to endure. I don't need to read her mind to know that."
"You're insufferable. I agree with you on one thing: I have no idea why she loves you. Well, other than the fact that you have her under thrall. If you were human, she'd see the pitiful, pathetic manchild that you are. It's too bad you've blinded her. But perhaps she will see it if she is doomed to turn. You know I really don't like her wolf boyfriend, but he at least makes more sense for her than you do."
"Your words do not hurt because I know you are just saying them aloud for her to hear. To hurt her. To hurt us. You care about nothing more because that's the creature that you are, sister. An envious wench."
Heavy footsteps and worried voices came trudging down towards us. I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to know who it was. The tremors rocking through my body continued, and I still couldn't speak.
I wanted to beg Edward to turn me right then and there. Just to get it over with already.
"What the fuck? What did you do to her?" asked Leah.
"Woah," was all Seth was able to say.
"Seth, Leah, Quil, please leave. We've got this taken care of," Edward said.
"Oh, absolutely not. I want to be the one to witness you break the treaty so I can end this shit myself."
"Come on, Leah, lay off; they're trying to help her, "Seth said.
Leah scoffed.
"God, leech, you sure brainwashed my baby brother into thinking this is her being helped. Is she having a seizure?"
"How have you got it taken care of? Looks like she's still freaking out, curled up in literal dirt. Think we'll take it from here, goldie eyes; it's kinda our job," Quil said, sliding his arms beneath my shaking body.
"No. Bella is my responsibility. You need to all leave."
"We're here on pack orders. Don't think you'd want us to phase and get the others involved. She'll be safer with us. Back off." Quil had me in his arms now. I was so embarrassed as I uncontrollably shook in them.
"See? You're the mind reader, right? You can see we've been around all day cause those other bloodsuckers you invited. She's hurt and bleeding; I'm not taking the chance."
"Edward, let it go. We can't make a scene right now with the wolves."
I opened my eyes for the first time to see Edward's pained, defeated expression. He caught my gaze and said, "I'll be here when you're ready. I'm so sorry."
Quil adjusted my weight in his arms and walked off into the depths of the forest with Leah and Seth trailing closely behind.
The further we got from the Cullens, the better I could breathe.