There was a dull ache in her chest, and she could not place why. She was never a romantic, never one to believe that there could be a love so strong as to cause physical discomfort. Yet this day challenged her beliefs, not only did her heart ache, she felt her stomach on the ground, and every step that took her further away became harder to take.
This day, would live in her mind, in her heart, it would exist within her blood with infamy. It would forever leave a bad taste in her mind, she would wear it on her skin, like a tattoo. A tattoo she would regret more and more with time, until all that was left to do, was cover it up, and ignore its presence.
She longed to know whether what she was doing was the correct course of action. She wanted someone to tell her, "don't walk away," she wanted someone to tell her "go." She was not sure whether it was indecisiveness that made her want guidance on the subject matter, or if she just wanted somebody to blame if things did not go well.
Lack of responsibility, she thought to herself, would be nice. She almost scoffed out loud at the absurdity of the thought, who could she possibly want to decide this for her? Who would she not grow angry at for trying to tell her what is best for her? At this point in her life, she was fully aware that parents do not always know what is right, and if those that guided her whole life could not decide for her, then only her would do. The thought frightened her beyond her heart break.
Ending their relationship had not been easy, it was not lack of love or passion that made her come to the conclusion that ending it was for the best. Nor was it problems in paradise, the problem was that there were no problems. They both without realizing fell into a routine, a dream of a future together, which was the problem.
Once upon a time, they had separate dreams, which included going in opposite directions, and now, both were willing to give up their dream for the other. If she gave up hers, she feared she would one day resent him for it, and if he gave up his, he would resent her. Since she was a little girl she told herself no one would ever get in the way of her dreams, but her dream was changing, she was not ready for that, not when the new dream he gave her was not one she had ever even gave a real thought to.
While changes are a natural part of growing, it is a change she is not willing to do, and one she will not force him to take. As she finally left, and closed the door behind her, she remembered the shock in his eyes, the way thet quickly turned back to stone, and she saw no more of what he felt. He accepted her choice, he did not try to stop her, and it was not until the door was shut, that she realized she wanted him to stop her. She wanted it to be him that would decide her future just as much, if not more, that he wanted her to decide his.
Months later she would take solace that her love for him was the purest form of loves.
A/N: this has been on my laptop so long its older than Recovery (this one was written 7/27/16) , I don't remember if they were supposed to be part of the same AU... so I am not making it part of the same one now... as for and update on Timely... hahaha i cant see that happening anytime soon... sorry... now its not lack of time for writing, but I am enjoying the freedom of writing in Beginnings way more... there is so much freedom from writing on here... but i guess since this one was written already this is a lazy update