A/N: Here's something short, sweet, and silly.
1783 words; this is just silly; takes place from post-Enies Lobby to just after the timeskip, with a little post-Wano in there bc Jinbe my dude you took too long to claim your bunk; it's been a while since I wrote something this short; this is very gen, very tame, and the only cursing is a word heard in old Bugs Bunny cartoons so there you go;
the benefits of a lawn at-sea
"Oh, Franky, this is so nice!" Nami marveled. Water 7 was just beyond the horizon and she was walking around on the lawn deck in bare feet. The plush, dense grass was soft on her skin and smelled wonderful. "What made you want to do this?"
"Let's just say I'm being super-thoughtful this week," the cyborg chuckled. He was watching Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper roll around on the lawn, absolutely giggling at themselves. Sanji came over with a tray of drinks, offering Nami and Robin theirs before handing one to Franky.
"Yeah, super-thoughtful that we now have to worry about grass stains despite being in the middle of the ocean," he groused. Luffy got tossed towards them and slid, popping up on his feet as one big, green smear. "Oi, jackass, who do you think is going to get that grass stain out?!"
"Uhh… I dunno." Luffy grinned and grabbed three drinks off the tray, bringing them over to where Usopp and Chopper were on the other side of the deck. Sanji exhaled heavily—only Luffy.
"Has he not noticed you've been doing all the boys' laundry since the East Blue?" Nami wondered. She sipped her drink and kept an eye on the horizon, not liking what was on the way. A storm, maybe? Didn't feel that imposing…
"Luffy noticing something other than food is sketchy at-best," Sanji deadpanned. "How did we end up with such an idiot for a captain?"
"Is that you trying to defect next, Curly?" Zoro snarked from the upper deck. Sanji grit his teeth and placed his tray down on the table.
"Pardon ladies—I've got a sentient moss to discipline," he growled before catapulting himself across the ship. Sanji's foot met with Zoro's swords and the pair began their bickering in earnest.
"It's good to see the change in venue hasn't dampened their spirits," Robin mentioned. She idly turned the page of her book, not even looking at the chaos that was unfolding—how delightful to have friends like these.
It was interesting having a lawn to care for now that the Straw Hats were on the Thousand Sunny. Franky would mow it and toss the clippings in the composter alongside the food scraps that Sanji couldn't salvage and the various little organic things that they didn't exactly want to toss over the side of the ship. It took up a lot of water, but that was what the purification system was for, right? It even provided Chopper with a nostalgic snack every once in a while, the grass reminding him of the fresh green shoots that would pop up during Drum Island's springtime, not to mention the way it was cool in the mornings and not nearly ever as scorching as the lacquered Adam Wood got under the sun…
…except, it really did use up a lot of water, which led to an intricate system of sprinkler rotations. If the sprinkler was moved and subsequently ignored, mud was liable to form, and the only thing worse than Luffy in the presence of grass stains was Luffy in the presence of mud. It was more than a bit irritating for Sanji or Nami when they switched off doing the laundry, but if Franky was going to have one blunder for the design of the ship, they guessed it could be the lawn. In practice. Common consensus was that it was mostly there to be a pain (at worst) or an experiment (at best) and so they endured it, because they had bigger things to deal with.
Take the suddenly dense fog they found themselves in, for one…
"Ooooh… this is simply wonderful…" Brook hummed happily. He was splayed out on the lawn, soaking in the sun. Once they had gotten out of the Florian Triangle, a good deal of what he did when he wasn't playing music or eating involved being outside on the lawn, marveling in the experience. "I would have never guessed that this was how grass felt against my finger bones…"
"You never touched any of the grass at Thriller Bark…?" Usopp wondered. He was fishing with Chopper and Luffy, the trio attempting to catch some extra reserves for the tank. Brook shook his head.
"Technically I did, but I'd rarely call that grass," he replied. "With how foggy and cloudy it is in the Triangle, it never had the chance to grow properly. This, however," he dragged his arms up and down the grass for emphasis, "is the real deal. What sort of grass is it? Where's it from?"
"Uh… there are different kind of grass…?" Luffy wondered. Usopp facepalmed.
"Well, yeah—that's like asking if there's different kind of trees," the sniper replied. He could see his captain's interest in the subject quickly fading. "You know, when I was little, I helped catalog over seventy types of plants for scientific use! That included twelve grasses!"
"Wait, really?!" Chopper gasped.
"Of course! Why do you think I'm so good at growing things? I've got an extra-green thumb!"
"I don't know, Usopp," Brook said. "It looks tan and fleshy to me."
"It's an expression and you know that," Usopp deadpanned over the newest crewmate's giggles. He went to look back over at Chopper and Luffy, only to see a rubbery thumb get jammed in his face.
"See? Mine's green now too!" It was a wet, gloopy green, clearly having just been ground into the freshly-mown-and-currently-being-watered part of the lawn.
"Luffy, it's an… wait, you know what? Whatever." Usopp rolled his eyes and began to return to his fishing, peacefully catching things to go into the tank, that is… until he heard his captain snicker a very tempting order.
"Come on, Usopp! Come play in the sprinkler with us!"
It was Captain's Orders, after all.
The Thousand Sunny surfaced above the ocean, the bubble coating popping as they made it back to their more-typical part of the sea. It was a sunny, cheerful day and everyone delighted at the warmth of the sun on their faces.
"Oh, this feels so good!" Nami squealed. She stretched as she breathed in deeply, allowing the breeze to ruffle her hair. "It feels like there's a storm coming up soon, so look sharp everyone!"
"I'm so glad we're above surface," Usopp shivered, leaning up against the railing.
"It was too scary!" Brook added.
"We almost diiiiiiiied!" Chopper sobbed.
"Oh, quit your bellyaching," Nami frowned. "Come on; we need to make sure everything's secure before the storm hits!"
"You were scared too!" Usopp snapped. He and Nami glared at one another—this was not in the best interest of Normie Solidarity. They nearly started a "discussion" between them when Luffy came barreling in onto the scene, hanging off of Nami's shoulders like a wet cat.
"Naaaamiiii… how long until the storm?" he whined. She grimaced and untangled herself from him, allowing their captain to flop onto the grass.
"Long enough for you to go take a bath—you stink," she frowned.
"…but Naaaamiiii… it's not Bath Day!" Luffy pouted. Nami was about to fire back when Franky's voice cut through the air.
"Hey, Luffy! Sprinkler's on!" That caught the other Straw Hats' attention: there, in all its glory, was a lawn sprinkler that was an… interesting-looking cat-head, with noodles coming out of its head that wriggled and flopped about as they spread water everywhere. Luffy gasped in excitement and ran over to it, jumping through the noodly spray with his noodly limbs and generally having a great and noodly time. Brook and Chopper soon joined him, leaving Nami and Usopp to just stare in exasperation.
"You'll super-thank me later," Franky smirked as he walked over to his crewmates who seemed… less than impressed.
"For what?" Nami cringed. "A new set of grass stains?"
"An extra-muddy part of the lawn after that storm Nami was talking about?"
"Nah—haven't you ever noticed that he smells better after running through the sprinkler?" Franky replied. The other two stopped all thought processes—huh…? "Still doesn't smell great, mind you, but running a bit of non-toxic lavender extract through the hose and you've got yourself a slightly-less-stinky captain!"
Huh… do that's where that smell was coming from…
"Okay, I'll give it to you, but does it have to look like that?" Usopp wondered. "It looks like it wants to die."
"Robin designed it! Isn't it great?" Franky seemed to beam in pride, whereas Nami and Usopp were… considerably less impressed.
Wano was officially behind the Thousand Sunny as it traveled southeast, wind billowing the sails full and steady as their most recent adventure became a tiny speck over the horizon. Everyone was settling into their normal routines as they readied for the journey ahead of them—for all they knew the next island was weeks away yet—which meant that their newest member was finally able to get his full tour.
"Alright, any questions?" Nami asked. She and Jinbe were standing on the lawn, having already physically gone through the rest of the ship. The helmsman nodded and looked around—everything seemed normal enough...mostly, anyhow.
"Just one: when will Luffy be allowed from his cage?" He pointed towards their captain, who was currently still locked up in an overly-large birdcage that hung near the swing. Luffy perked up at that, only for his hopes to be dashed.
"Only captains who get into a moderate amount of trouble are allowed to roam free," Nami hissed. Luffy whimpered and slumped against the bars—he was defeated. The navigator then sniffed the air and recognized a particular funk that was growing in the air. "Hey, Usopp!"
"What?!" The aforementioned sniper poked his head out from the upper deck. "I'm a little busy!"
"Hit Luffy with the hose when you get a second! I'd put an air freshener next to him, but he might eat it…"
"I would not!" Luffy protested. Nami, however, was not convinced.
"The sooner the better, Usopp!" she commanded. Her crewmate grumbled and put down his Pop Greens to head down the stairs and head for the hose caddy, turning on the water pump and unraveling the hose just enough so he could aim the nozzle directly for Luffy and wet him down, face deadpan while his captain panicked like a puppy afraid of water.
"Is that… how he always bathes…?" Jinbe wondered cautiously, pointing at Luffy. Nami shook her head.
"This is just a mid-week stopgap. Also a punishment. Depends on how I feel." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked away, headed towards the table where Robin was reading and leaving Jinbe to shudder.
What kind of a crew did he sign up with after all?