KS: What's up, world? It's me, KnightSpark, back at it again with another fic for you. Remember my AU fic for Blake that takes place in the distant future of GodHand96's Ironside? Well, this will focus on a certain blonde dragon. This will be somewhat lighter than my last fic, with a lot less bloodshed and death involved. It will also feature monks whose lifestyle is inspired by those of buddhist monks. Now, I've done research as best as I can, but if I have missed something or incorrectly interpreted it, feel free to inform me in the comments. Now, let's get to it.
I'm the stupidest person alive.
My attitude, my motivation… they did nobody any good.
Someone like me isn't fit to be a huntress.
Mistral prided itself on its multitude of diverse cultures. Each and every person who belonged to those cultures had the utmost respect for what they believed in, and always enjoyed explaining to others what it was about.
But out of all these beliefs, one was very well known in Mistral.
They are a group of female monks known as the Gray Lotus. They have renounced all of their worldly possessions identities and committed their lives to spiritual enlightenment, secluding themselves from the outside world. They live by many precepts, which guide them in what they can, cannot and should do. Living by discipline, etiquette, cleanliness, they walk the path less travelled, reaching the road to enlightenment.
Which begs the question: when one has lost everything to poor choices and equally poor judgement, do they truly seek enlightenment? Or are they just making excuses to not face what they have done?
In a forest clearing, a large group of female monks sat on the grass, sitting in a lotus position. Their eyes were closed, and their breathing was at a normal rate. They were at peace with the world and themselves.
All apart from one.
One of the monks began shaking, her breathing becoming more erratic to the point where she started hyperventilating. It didn't take long for the others to notice, considering they were all seated close to each other.
"Oh no!"
"She's having another panic attack!"
Immediately, all of the monks surrounded her and helped her up to her feet. She was sweating profusely and had an intense feeling of pain in her chest.
"We need to get her back to her tent immediately," one of the monks said.
The others agreed and helped their fellow monk to the resting area, where her tent would be. As she was escorted away, the lama watched with great concern.
Evening soon came, and the monk laid in her tent. She looked up, her dull, violet eyes half-lidded. Once, they had the fire of youthul enthusiasm. Now, they have been permently extinguished.
"I'm an absolute mess," she muttered. "I've been here for so long and I'm not any close to… whatever this is."
She laid in silence for a few seconds, when she heard some rustling from outside of her tent, causing her to sit up.
"Huh? Who's there?"
Soon enough, the one responsible entered her tent, and the monk immediately recognized her. It was none other than the lama.
"How are you, Yang?" she asked.
Upon hearing her name, Yang sighed and slumped down on her back.
"It should be obvious, looking at a waste of oxygen like myself," she answered in a bitter tone. "I'm not sure why you've bothered to ask."
The lama frowned at the young woman's negativity. "I wish you wouldn't constantly think little of yourself."
"I believe it's necessary," Yang replied in the same tone. "It keeps me from doing anything stupid." Her eyes narrow in shame and contempt. "Like I did in the past."
"It's unwise to think humility and self-deprecation are one in the same," the lama said.
"Ironic that I'm staying humble because of my self deprecation," Yang said.
The lama sighed and sat closer to Yang.
"How long has it been since you came here, young one?"
"Five years," Yang answered, not bothering to change her vocal tone.
The lama nodded solemnly "Yes. Five whole years and the color of your eyes still have no light to them. No spark, no energy… no fire."
Yang scoffed. "It's for the best, in my opinion. Fire is only good for destroying everything and everyone. Kind of like me, in a way. It's why I lost my chance to be a huntress, and now that I had the time to think about it, it's what I deserved. I brought this upon myself, and only have myself to blame for it."
The lama looked sad once more, then looked to where Yang's right arm would've been. Immediately, her mind went back to when Yang first came to the monastary years ago, the expression she had on her face back then matching the one she had all this time.
The lama had a passive expression as she looked at Yang, who was staring at the floor with a listless look on her face. Her hair was dishevled, showing that she hadn't taken any time to take care of it, although she believes that the blonde didn't do it out of her own volition. Not completely, anyway.
"Why have you come here?" she asked.
Yang let out a heavy sigh as she spoke. "I did some bad things that more or less ruined my life… okay, scratch that. I ruined myself because of the poor choices I made. I was no long eligible to become a huntress, I'm low on funds and everyone in town knows me as a girl who broke some guy's leg at the tournament. I have nowhere else to go."
The lama nodded. "I have heard you and understand your situation. However, I must warn you, the path to enlightenment is never an easy one. What you been through will be considered merciful compared to what you will experience from here on out. Are you still willing to walk the path of the Gray Lotus."
Rather than use words, Yang raised her prosthetic arm. Then, using her flesh and blood arm, she detaches it, then crushes it with all her might, rendering it completely useless. The lama was surprised by this action, as not even she expected it.
"You are only making the journey harder on yourself," she warned. "Are you absolutely certain about this?"
"You said it yourself," Yang replied with as much conviction as she could muster. "The path I intend walk won't be an easy one. And after what I've done, 'easy' isn't something I deserve, much less can afford."
The lama stared at her in rare surprise. This girl, who had believed herself to have ruined her own life, shows her conviction by destroying her prosthetic arm. Although she could see in her eyes that the blonde had personally snuffed out her own inner fire, she could see that there were some embers that remained.
"Very well. Yang Xiao Long, I welcome you to the Gray Lotus."
Thus began Yang's life as a monk. She had to give up her possesions, and she did so without complaint. There was also the matter of her hair being shaved off, and she was surprisingly accepting about it. She describes her hair as a "symbol of her immaturity" and how she was prepared to do away with it. After that, she went through the basic of being a monk. She meditated for hours, cleaned up around the monastary when need be and much more. On the subject of meditation, there was some problems.
While it was rare, every time she meditated, she would have a panic attack. She would perspire at an abnormal rate, she had trouble breathing and felt dizzy. This was something she had endured for five whole years, and no signs of recovery were in sight.
"I believe that the fire within has not completely gone out, Yang," the lama said. "It is true that fire can be a destructive force of nature, bringing harm to those around it. But if used properly, it can be a source of good."
"Yeah, well, no I'm not letting my fire be reignited, regardless of what you think," Yang said. "No offense."
"None taken," the lama said. "Take as much time as you need to rest. We'll discuss your duties in the morning."
She left the tent, and left Yang along to her thoughts.
"I'm not letting my fire to be reignited," she said. "It's better this way."
KS: While my last fic was a oneshot, I have plans to continue this as a three-part series. When will that be, I'm not sure. By the way, once again, a big shoutout to GodHand96, whose inspired me to do this, and a big thank you for all the readers out there who support me. Make sure to view my other stuff, and as always, fave, follow and review. Until next time, I'll see you when I see you. Peace.