"Can life without excitement be considered life?" To his astonishment she did not move from her position, her head remained laying on his naked chest, and her arm still held his waist.
"I like holding you," she had told him when after their first night together he had woken to her still gripping him tightly. Sasuke understood the words that remained unsaid, I like knowing you are not a fantasy I conjured.
Finally, after a long silence he answered, "a life without excitement is nothing but an existence. A walking corpse without a beating a heart." Sasuke had been told something similar in the past, but until he met her, they were just words. Sakura's grip on him tightened she neither asked or spoke more words into existence that night. She just held him until they both fell asleep.
Sasuke is bored and tired of it.
Naruto once asked him, "are you even alive if you do not enjoy yourself?" Naruto is an idiot, but he had his moments of wisdom, Sasuke had not answered him, for those words had been a joke, why answer seriously? Since that spring day however, Sasuke no longer considered himself alive. His lungs worked, his heart beat, but he did not feel. His whole life he had moved as his parents had asked him to never of his own accord, I am a walking corpse.
Still he had no issue with it, there was nothing he longed for at least not really, he knew how to wield a sword because his father had insisted, he began taking lessons from a "ridiculously young age," at least it is how his mother worded it. However, it was not a skill he did not want, while his brother would one day be the head of the family, Sasuke was expected to become his brother's right hand and follow his example. Not something he was necessarily for, but also not something he was against.
His life was simple, do as they ask, and he did not mind, why would I when I don't want anything? Even his wife had been chosen for him long ago, a Princess, she was only second in line to the throne after Naruto. "A strong alliance for us, you understand?" His father had told him, Sasuke had been five but even then, understood there would be no getting out of his engagement. Still, it would be a lie to say there was no pride in marrying a Princess.
Not that he had a chance or an interest in fighting it, they were officially wed when they were both twelve, "the alliance is important," his mother had explained apologetically, but he knew she meant, "we cannot risk it falling apart because of puberty." Still, it had been agreed that they would still be too young to live together until they were both fifteen.
Naruto had at first mocked him over the engagement, but once the marriage was sealed, Naruto went from mocking to pity. "I don't know man," he had said a few days before Sasuke was set to marry, no humor in his voice, "I could never marry without love."
"You are the heir to the throne, if you think you have a choice of who you marry, you are a bigger idiot than I thought."
"Nope," he had replied, "my parents already said I can marry whoever I choose." Soon after the subject of conversation shifted, still those words rang in Sasuke's ears.
Sasuke had met his wife three times in his life, he had a seen her more times, but he had only interacted with her three times. The first time they met, he was six years old and thought nothing of her. The second time she had been yelling at Naruto for a prank. They had been eight and he came to Naruto's defense, she had stomped away angrily. Her red hair seeming like angry flames in the summer sun. The third was when they married, three years later he was now expected to live with her, to share a bed with her and eventually have a family with her.
Fine, he thought to himself, but his wife was still a stranger, "you will grow to love Karin," his mother never tired of telling him.
"You do not need to love her," his father interrupted, sitting himself down for his tea, "just respect her enough."
"Do you love mother?" The words had left his mouth before he could consider them.
"Of course." His father replied, as if the answer should have been obvious.
"I fell for your father when I first laid eyes on him." Mikoto was quick to add, there was a dusting of pink on Fugaku's face. They married for love, he concluded, he was happy for them. Yet, he felt his stomach twist.
Sasuke found he did not hate Karin, he did not necessarily like her, but he did not hate her, progress, he had told himself. She was nice enough, a little overbearing, a little bossy, a little too much love for the finer things in life, but she was trying. He found he did not mind, it was just simply they had no common ground, the most they seemed to have in common was their agreement that Naruto is an idiot. Every night they went to bed, the silence in the darkness emphasized by the space between their bodies.
Six months into Karin and Sasuke living together, Itachi announced he was engaged to Izumi. Sasuke congratulated his brother, but it rang hollow to his ears, Itachi's smile never faltered too deep in love to notice.
That night he could not sleep, his thoughts repeating themselves, they married for love. Itachi is marrying for love. Again, and again, my parents married for love, Itachi is marrying for love. They married for love. Itachi is marrying for love. Suddenly Naruto's words rang loud and clear like the first time he heard them, "my parents say I can marry whoever I choose." It's not fair.
Sasuke did not sleep that night, because it was not boredom, it was emptiness. I am not a walking corpse, I am dead already.
A/N: one thing I am doing with this AU is using lines from my shittier poems, I think it's pretty obvious though. They exist in a so much potential, but nothing good follows them sort of limbo, I figured why the hell not?
another thing I want to make clear about this AU is that Karin isn't a bitch, or a horrible person, she too was forced into a marriage with a stranger. I will not be bashing her, or going out of my way to make her look bad. I feel for Karin what I feel for Hinata, they aren't bad characters over all they just have shitty fans