The Next Day

"Stella? You okay?"

"I just need a minute." She was covered in sweat. Steve had her doing drills all day, practicing her aim and her control. She was drained.

"Do you need a break?"

Of course she needed a break but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. She'd been fighting exhaustion since she'd crawled out of bed that morning. Her new "bracelets" had kept her up almost all night. She suspected her body temperature raised naturally when she fell asleep which caused the bracelets to zap her almost the minute she began to doze off. As a result, it had been the worst sleep of her life.

She wiped a layer of sweat from her forehead, thinking she could really use some support right now. Bucky came to mind. Usually when he joined them at training he told Steve if he was pushing Stella too hard or when she had earned a break.

But he hadn't been at meals or training all week. She hadn't seen him since that night.

Looking back she was embarrassed. She had been feeling hurt and vulnerable that night and it had brought out a desperate, broken, and ugly side of herself. A side of herself she didn't like admitting existed.

She'd thrown herself at him, plain and simple, in an attempt to latch onto the one good thing she had in her life. Tony's rejection and Steve's betrayal had opened old, forgotten wounds; her deep seeded fear of abandonment.

She'd wanted to turn off what she was feeling, to lose herself in the only person who'd never really let her down. And surely if she and Bucky finally consummated their relationship, he wouldn't leave her.

She'd gone too far, she knew that now. She'd pushed past boundaries Bucky had established and she was sick about it. She only hoped he would forgive her.

"Jesus, I didn't realize how late it was. Let's call it Stel," Steve said, glancing at his watch.

"Thank god," She muttered, collapsing onto the nearest bench. She took a long swig of her water.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. Drained."

"You've come a long way. I'm proud of you."

She smiled weakly.

"Thanks Steve."

"How're the bracelets treating you?"

Stella hesitated.

"…They're all right." She lied, avoiding his gaze.

Steve studied her.

"No, they're not."

"Excuse me?"

"You're lying, I can tell."

"It's a little annoying that you can read me so well," Stella snapped.

Steve took a seat beside her on the bench. "Tell me what's going on."

It wasn't framed as a request.

Stella sighed and reluctantly admitted what had happened last night.

"That's it. We're going back to the old plan. This isn't working."

"Steve, I'm fine."

"You're barely getting any rest. I should've told Tony yesterday his idea was ridiculous. A shock bracelet of all things…It's borderline inhumane."

"No!" Stella shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly.

Steve glanced at her in surprise.

"It's my decision Steve."

"Stella, you're miserable."

"I've been enough of a burden on you, on the team. It's nothing. I'm just being whiny."

"Stella…"

"No. I'm not your responsibility Steve," She said fiercely.

"I don't mind."

"I don't like being everyone's responsibility. I've always taken care of myself and ever since I came here I feel like this burden on the whole team," She confessed.

"No one thinks that way Stella."

"I do." She gripped his hand for emphasis. "Please don't say anything Steve."

Steve searched her eyes.

"Stella…this isn't a solution. You need your rest. Not just for your health and sanity but also because without it, you have no chance of controlling your power."

"…If I promise to talk to Bruce and Tony about the bracelets, will you lay off? Maybe they can recalibrate them to be less sensitive," Stella offered.

"Fine. But if it doesn't get any better, I'm pulling the plug."

"Fine." She agreed.

"So you'll talk to them? Today?" He pressed.

"Yes Steve." She rolled her eyes. "You're doing that over protective thing again."

This time it was Steve's turn to sigh.

"I know. Hard habit to shake."

Stella smiled to herself, sipping her water.

"Is that all?" Steve asked.

"Hm?"

"You've been distracted all week. Is something going on?"

Stella hesitated. "…It's Bucky."

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Go on."

"Is it weird talking about this with you? Considering we…"

Dated? Fucked? Were in love?

"You can always talk to me Stel."

"A week ago…something happened between us," Stella admitted. "Bucky and I, I mean."

"And?"

"And…I'm worried I may have pushed him away. Pushed things too far, too fast."

I'm worried he's lost all respect for me. That he hates me.

Steve processed her words. Naturally, his first reaction was jealousy.

Be honest with her Rogers. You owe her that.

"Stella, Bucky cares about you. I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding."

"He hasn't been here all week," Stella pointed out.

Steve considered this.

"You know, he only lives a few floors up. Maybe you should talk with him about it."

"…What if he hates me?" Stella whispered. "What I did…it was deplorable."

"Stella, Bucky could never hate you. And I know he cares about you. I really think you should just talk to him."

Stella mulled over his words, seeming to come to a decision.

"Thanks Steve."

He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Anytime kid."

Bucky POV

It took Stella hours to find him. She tried his room, the weight room, the kitchen, the screening room and dozens of other places before she finally thought to check the roof. There, staring out over the grounds, was Bucky. Stella approached him slowly, her nervousness clear.

"Bucky?"

He looked up when she called his name. His expression was unreadable.

"Can I sit?"

He hesitated before nodding. She took a seat beside him. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Are you okay?" She questioned tentatively.

The man nodded.

Stella swallowed. "…Are we okay?"

Bucky looked at her.

"Why would you think otherwise?" His voice was neutral, giving nothing away.

"I haven't seen you all week. You haven't been at training or at meals…" Stella trailed off. "I haven't seen you since that night in your room."

Bucky didn't answer.

"Bucky…I'm so sorry. I know I crossed a line that night. It was selfish and unfair of me to pressure you into doing something you weren't comfortable with."

She looked like she was afraid to touch him. Bucky longed to bridge the distance between them, to assure her he wasn't upset with her, that he knew why she'd been so desperate and broken that night. That she hadn't forced him into doing anything he didn't want to.

"I wish I could take it back," She whispered.

"So do I."

It didn't come out the way he meant it to. He meant he wished he'd handled the situation differently. Insisted they talk about what she was feeling. Or just held her and let her cry it out.

"I'm so sorry." She sniffed and he saw she had tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know I fucked up. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Bucky wished he could take her in his arms, that he could hold her, that he could tell her the truth. That he wasn't upset with her. That he understood. That Stark was an insensitive prick and she deserved so much more in a father. He wanted to apologize for letting things go as far as they had. To tell her he was equally to blame.

But it wouldn't make what he had to do any easier.

"You don't need to apologize Stella."

She furrowed her brow at him.

"Listen, I think I need some time. This has been…a lot."

It was painful to look at her. To stare into the brown eyes he loved and see the tears there.

"I just need some space," He continued, looking away because he couldn't lie to her face. "I think we could both use a break. Some time to get our heads on straight, think about what we want."

"A break." Stella repeated, her voice unreadable.

Bucky nodded, still staring resolutely at the horizon.

She swallowed, her lower lip trembling.

"…Did I ruin us?"

The heartbreak in her voice was almost too much for him. He chose his words carefully.

"You didn't ruin anything. I just need some time Stella."

It was a long time before Stella answered. Her response was quiet, barely there.

"I understand."

After a moment she stood and walked away without another word.

Bucky desperately hoped he wasn't making the wrong call, but as he watched the girl he loved walk away he couldn't help feeling he was.

Stella POV

Stella walked away from Bucky, doing her best to hold her head high. She could fall apart, just not in front of him. The walk from where he sat on the roof to the exit felt like ages.

The moment the door to the staircase closed behind her she crumpled forward, grabbing onto the railing to catch her breath.

The tears finally fell, hot and fast.

Exactly what she'd feared had come. Bucky had dumped her. The one person who she feared losing more than anyone else. She squatted on the top step, trying to force herself to go back to her room but she was frozen.

Maybe this was what she deserved…to be alone. Maybe this was why the people she loved always left her. Because she didn't deserve love. Because she was flawed, wrong.

The vicious thoughts wouldn't stop, clawing her savagely.

She took five minutes before she finally collected herself so she could return to her room without Bucky having to find her in the stairwell. Once she reached her bed she curled up, the tears flowing freely.

Sometime after 1 am she felt herself starting to doze off so she reluctantly snapped on her bracelets. Her eyes began drifting shut, still wet from crying.

Zap.

She jolted awake.

I'll talk to Bruce and Tony tomorrow, She thought to herself sleepily.

Zap.

Bucky POV (the next day)

"Hey, we missed you at breakfast," A familiar voice said. Bucky knew that voice anywhere. He closed the fridge door, revealing his best friend.

"Uh yeah. Slept late," Bucky lied.

Steve raised his brows.

Bucky was sure Steve knew he never slept in anymore, though thankfully the man didn't call him out.

Honestly, it was a miracle if Bucky got any sleep at all after Hydra.

"Hey, did Stella ever find you?" Steve asked after a moment. He grabbed an apple from the counter and took a bite, leaning against the kitchen island. Bucky looked up from where he was pouring himself a glass of juice.

"What?"

"She was looking for you yesterday. Wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh. Yeah…She found me." He almost wished she hadn't. That he'd been able to avoid her forever and wouldn't have had to do what he did. Unfortunately, Bucky was on lockdown and so was Stella. There were only so many places he could hide.

It had been a week since he'd started avoiding her at Stark's request. A week that had felt like torture.

Though it was nothing compared to what he'd had to do last night. He'd lied to her face, said he needed space. Let her think she'd ruined them.

Bucky clenched his fist.

Years of Hydra training had taught him how to read people. Despite how Stella had tried to hide it, he knew she'd been upset when he broke things off. Hell, he didn't need the Hydra training to know that. He knew Stella; had learned her quirks and giveaways in the months they'd spent together since she'd come to the compound. She'd tried to hide how his words had hurt her but he didn't miss the way she'd wrapped her arms around herself that way she did when she was feeling vulnerable or self-conscious. How she hadn't been able to hold eye contact after. How her lower lip had trembled.

Bucky's fist clenched tighter.

If not for his super soldier senses, he would've been spared what happened after. The sounds of her crying from inside the staircase had broken him, nearly sent him running after her to take her in his arms and beg her to forgive him. Tell her it was all a sick game.

The distance felt…wrong. Unnatural. They'd become so close since she'd come to the compound and by some miracle she'd even agreed to be his girlfriend. And Bucky had tossed all that to shit because of Stark.

It's the right call, He reminded himself. This is the first step to making amends with Tony. It's only for a few weeks.

It was little consolation. Anxiety welled in the pit of his stomach. That and resentment at Stark for even asking this of him.

Bucky wondered if the man even knew how his request would affect Stella.

Probably not.

"It was a misunderstanding right? That's what I told her." Steve said, bringing Bucky back to the present.

Bucky's grip tightened on the glass he was holding. The anger he felt towards Stark for putting him in this position, for forcing him and Stella to be apart came to a head. That, and the one thing Bucky hadn't been able to get out of his head for months.

The glass shattered in his hand.

Steve looked over at him in surprise.

"Buck?"

"You really can't help yourself, can you?" Bucky asked.

"Excuse me?" Steve said, clearly confused.

"Just stay out of our relationship, Steve." Bucky snapped.

Or whatever's left of it.

"Bucky, I'm not trying to butt in. Stella was worried about you, that's all."

"It's really none of your business." Bucky set his tight gaze on Steve.

"I know that Buck. But she was upset at training. She asked for advice."

Bucky laughed humorlessly.

"And you just happened to be there, of course." He shook his head. "Don't you think this tortured, love sick mentor act is getting a little pathetic?" Bucky knew his words were harsh, but he couldn't stop them. He wanted Steve to hurt as much as he did.

Steve looked like Bucky had slapped him. Bucky forced himself to continue.

"Just leave her alone, Steve."

"…I can't do that." Steve said quietly. "I care about her Bucky."

"Yeah? Well so do I." Bucky gave up trying to mop up the shards of glass and juice.

Steve hesitated, looking as if he wasn't sure he wanted to say what was on his mind.

"I just want to make sure you're treating her right."

"That I'm treating her right? After all the bullshit back and forth you put her through?" Bucky spat. "Do you even want Stella or are you just pissed she's with me now?"

Steve didn't speak, analyzing Bucky. His piercing blue gaze would've made a lesser man falter.

"Where is this attitude coming from?" Steve demanded.

"…You told me nothing happened between you two." Bucky bit out.

Finally the truth. Bucky had been upset at Stella for not telling him about her and Steve but she hadn't lied to his face. Not like Steve.

"What?" Steve asked, now puzzled.

"When you went off to hunt Loki I asked you if anything had happened between the two of you." It took Steve a moment to realize what Bucky was talking about. "You lied to me."

Steve's fact set in realization.

"Why?" Bucky asked and he couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice. Steve had always been his friend, his best friend since they were five years old. As far as he knew, Steve had never once lied to him. So why now? And of all things, why this?

"I did it out of respect for Stella, Bucky." Steve said, though he looked uncomfortable.

"So you lied to me?"

"I didn't have a choice."

"Right. Some friend you are."

"Some friend I am?" Steve snapped, his anger matching Bucky's. "Are you kidding me? You knew I had feelings for her and you went after her anyway," Steve retorted.

Steve's words stung. Bucky knew what he'd done had been wrong. He'd known then and it still bothered him to this day.

Steve hadn't had feelings for a ton a dames growing up. On the off chance he did, they usually wanted nothing to do with him and only had eyes for Bucky. It had given Steve an inferiority complex for years. One Bucky knew Steve still grappled with, despite everything that had changed since the forties.

Forced to stay behind when Steve left to go hunt Loki, Bucky had been feeling resentment and anger towards his friend. And so he couldn't pretend part of his continued interest in Stella hadn't been for the purpose of getting back at the man. Of course, it had quickly evolved into more once Bucky really got to know her. Bucky had never told Stella this and he never would. Some things were better left unsaid.

"Yeah, well you left Steve. You left her and you left me to go after Loki. She needed you and you weren't there." Bucky didn't say what he meant which was that that he'd needed Steve too. That he'd felt lost and alone without his friend. Without the only part of this new, confusing world that was comforting and familiar, the only home he had left anymore.

"So that's what this is about? You're still pissed that you had to stay behind when the team went after Loki?" Steve asked, approaching Bucky. Bucky felt the urge to back away but stood his ground.

"Yeah, I'm pissed. We were a mess and you left us. Don't pretend you're not angry at yourself because we found each other in the mess you left behind."

The men glowered at each other, only inches apart; Steve's face furious, Bucky's anger laced with sadness.

Steve's expression softened when he noticed the latter on Bucky's face.

"Buck…" He reached a hand out to place on Bucky's shoulder but the assassin shook him off.

Unspoken words floated in the air between them. Words Bucky didn't fully understand. Words that confused and scared him.

He pushed them away. He was already feeling too much, he wasn't ready for this.

He buried the words and feelings in the place deep within him that he rarely acknowledged. The Winter Soldier lived there too.

Bucky latched onto the relationship that didn't make him feel more confused than he already did.

"I don't need you to sabotage Stella and I's relationship. I'm perfectly capable of doing that on my own." Bucky said, firmly changing the subject.

Steve looked mortified and even a little offended.

"I'm not trying to sabotage your relationship Bucky."

"Could've fooled me."

"I'm sorry," Steve apologized. "I know I shouldn't meddle, I just…" He trailed off.

"You just what?" Bucky pressed angrily.

"I just didn't think she would move on so quickly and I didn't think it would be with my best friend of all people," Steve admitted.

"You never would have been okay with her moving on Steve." Bucky said, somewhat mollified they had moved onto more familiar territory. Feeling like pushing the issue further since he was already on a roll Bucky said, "You think I can't tell that you're still in love with her?"

"Bucky…I'm sorry. I'm trying to move on."

"Are you? Or are you just waiting for things to go South between us?" Bucky was flinging accusations at this point, waiting to see what would stick. He felt slightly unhinged, confused, angry, and overall disappointed in himself. For what he'd done to Stella. For what he was doing to Steve.

"How can you honestly think I would want that?" Steve took a step toward him but Bucky backed away. Hurt flashed across Steve's face. "…I want you to be happy Bucky." The other man managed.

"Yeah, well maybe happiness isn't in the cards for guys like me."

"Buck…" Steve stepped forward again as if to embrace him or provide some sort of physical comfort.

Bucky didn't stick around long enough to find out. He stormed off, leaving Steve to deal with his mess.

Stella POV

Stella came to a halt outside the doors of the lab, peering inside. Tony and Bruce were huddled together behind a holographic screen, analyzing what appeared to be code displayed on it. She knocked on the glass. The doors slid open. She stepped in tentatively.

"Bruce?"

Bruce looked up from where he was sitting.

"Stella," He greeted. The man looked exhausted. Tony didn't look much better.

"Hey kid," Tony called. He was typing rapidly on a keyboard, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"What're you guys working on?" Stella asked, coming closer. The lab was littered with coffee cups and old takeout containers. Clearly they'd been working nonstop for a few days now.

"We're working on creating an algorithm to try and predict Hydra's next move," Bruce explained.

"Sounds complicated."

"It's no cake walk," Tony replied.

Stella hesitated. She'd wanted to ask them if there was a way to recalibrate the bracelets, but it hardly seemed like appropriate timing given the project they were working on.

"Did you need something?" Tony asked. Bruce's gaze flicked back over to her.

Stella swallowed.

"Uh no…I was looking for Natasha."

"I think she's in the training facility," Bruce provided.

"Okay thanks."

She glanced at the screen they were staring at as she turned to leave the lab.

"This formula is incorrect," She said, pointing at the upper left hand corner of the screen.

The men paused, their eyes zeroing in on what Stella was pointing to.

"Lewin's behavior equation is B = f(P, E), not B=f(P,M)."

"Oh." Bruce said. "We must've missed that…Thanks."

"See you guys later."

The men stared after her for a moment.

"She's definitely your kid," Bruce said after a moment.

Tony smiled to himself.

Stella walked back outside the lab. Once she'd rounded the corner and reached the hallway she looked down at the bracelets gripped tightly in her palm.

They have more important things to worry about right now. I'll ask them to fix them another time.

A/N: Thanks again for reading guys. If you're enjoying this story, please drop a review. They inspire me to keep writing. Thanks!