Steve POV

Steve rubbed his neck tenderly. Stiff again.

"You okay?"

He looked to his left. Stella was curled up on the other end of his bed with a book open in her lap, much like himself. It was nearing bedtime so they were both in their pajamas.

"I'm fine. Neck hurts."

"You've gotta stop sleeping on that cot."

"Not sure it's the cot." He smiled at her. "Old bones."

Stella snapped her book shut and crawled over to him.

"Where does it hurt?"

Steve indicted where. Stella reached up and rubbed the area. Her hands were warm, much warmer than a normal human's. Steve realized she was using her power to heat them.

"God, that feels good," He groaned.

Stella smiled, plopping back onto her heels.

"Lay down and take off your shirt."

Steve raised his brow at her.

"Why?"

"I'm gonna give you a massage."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't silly. I want to. Besides, it's the least I can do after you took me all the way to Massachusetts."

"I didn't do that because I expected a favor in return."

"I know that, Steve." Her eyes softened. "I want to do this for you. You do so much for me."

He held her gaze.

"That's nothing."

"It's not nothing to me. Now do you want a massage or not?"

Steve smiled. A massage did sound nice.

"Okay." He stood, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Face down on the bed."

"Yes ma'am."

He heard the door to his bedroom open and the sound of Stella padding down the hallway. She returned a minute later. Steve felt the bed dip beside him.

Warm hands ran across his skin. They were moist and glided across his back effortlessly.

"It's coconut oil," Stella murmured as she spread it. Once his back was lubricated to her liking, she began kneading his shoulders.

"Jeez, you're wound tight Steve," She muttered.

"Tell me something I don't know." He propped his head on his forearms and turned towards her.

He loved her like this; just before bed, no makeup, hair in a messy bun. She was wearing a tank top and silk shorts, no bra.

Despite his feelings for her, Steve was usually able to control his dick around her but it definitely presented more of a challenge when she was this close and all that was between them was a tiny piece of fabric. The fact that she was running her hands all over him certainly didn't help.

Down boy…Thankfully, he was laying on his stomach.

"I wanted to apologize...for what I said in Tony's office." Stella started.

Steve wracked his brain.

"What're you talking about Stel?"

"When I found out Tony had been meddling in Bucky and I's relationship, I said that Bucky was the only person who had been there for me." She met his gaze. "That wasn't true. I said that to hurt you because I thought you'd been conspiring with Tony. I was upset and angry. I'm sorry."

He gave her a sad smile.

"You weren't entirely wrong. I didn't see how badly the bracelets were hurting you."

"You were the first person to notice Steve. You told me to say something to Bruce and Tony about it."

She moved from his shoulders down to his upper back, pressing deep into the muscle. Steve resisted another groan.

"I should have followed up with you. I meant to, I just..." He trailed off. "I had some things on my mind. It's no excuse."

"Steve, no one expects you to be perfect all the time. And besides, I shouldn't need you to stand up for me. I'm a big girl, I can do it myself."

"I know it's hard opening up to people when you're used to depending on yourself. But we're here for you. And you can always talk to me."

She smiled. "I know that." Stella worked on a particularly deep knot. "…I feel like our relationship has been a little one sided."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're always there for me if I need to talk or vent. And you're spending all this time training me. But…I haven't really been there for you."

"Stella, these past few months have been crazy for you. It's a little different."

"It's not," She interrupted. "You're my..." There was a very pregnant pause. "Friend," She ended lamely. "I hope you know you can talk to me Steve. About whatever. I'm here for you."

"I know that, Stella. And it's okay that we've been focused on you these past few months. Your life was turned upside down."

"That's putting it lightly." She muttered.

They were silent for a few minutes while she moved onto his lower back. Her warm hands felt divine on his skin. Steve felt so relaxed he was on the edge of falling asleep.

"Do you really know that?" Stella asked softly. "That you can talk to me about anything?"

Steve took his time in answering. "It's one of the reasons I fell for you when we first met. Did you forget how much we talked back then?"

"How could I? Of course back then it was more two sided." Stella paused. "I want to be there for you like you're there for me, Steve. Like you have been these past few months."

Stella rubbed his side, her fingers working into his skin.

"Right there," Steve moaned when she hit a tender spot.

"Right here?" She murmured, finding it again.

"Mhm."

She pressed into it, loosening the overworked skin. Steve groaned.

"Does that feel good?"

"You have no idea." She rubbed the area until the knot dissipated before moving back up to his neck. She worked the oil into his skin, her fingers drifting into his hair and massaging his scalp.

"Fuck," Steve muttered. That felt good. "Why are you so good at this?"

"My mom was a masseuse for a while. I was usually her guinea pig. Picked up a thing or two."

Her hands slowed, and then stopped.

"Better?" She murmured.

"I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed," Steve responded. He rolled onto his side so he was facing her. "Thanks sweetheart."

She smiled. "Sure thing, Rogers."

It was too easy to imagine her as his wife like this. He wanted nothing more than to bridge the distance between them, to roll her beneath him and show her how much he appreciated her. To have her curl up at his side while they read together. To kiss her good night and pull her close instead of returning to his cot when it got late.

But that wasn't the reality. Bucky's absence was still a heavy cloud that hung over them, a relentless reminder of what they both so desperately missed. Steve noticed the way Stella's face fell when she turned away from him, the sadness hidden behind her eyes when she looked at him. It broke Steve's heart.

He couldn't pretend he didn't miss his best friend. He thought about him all the time; where he was, if he was in the country (let alone on the continent), how he was keeping himself out of Hydra's clutches. His chest ached.

"It's getting late. Should we call it?" Stella's voice interrupted his musing.

He checked the time.

"Yeah." He pushed himself up and stood, stretching. He dropped his book on top of Stella's on the night stand before crawling onto his cot. Steve knew Stella felt guilty about sleeping in his bed while he slept here, it was clear on her face as she watched him get under the covers.

"You know if your back is bothering you, you can always get in bed with me. There's plenty of room for both of us."

Steve glanced at her. She was facing him, her expression concerned but also curious as to his response.

"Thank you. I may take you up on that one day."

"Goodnight Steve."

"Night Stella."

Steve POV

Steve was in the kitchen cleaning up his lunch when Natasha found him.

"Nat," He greeted.

"Steve." She took a seat at the island. "Where's your other half?"

He shot her a confounded look.

"Stella," She clarified, a smile pulling at her lips but her eyes betraying something more serious.

"She went upstairs to change before training." He cased the other woman. "Something on your mind?"

Natasha pursed her lips. Steve placed his plate in the dishwasher and turned on her.

"What's going on Nat?"

She took a breath as if steeling herself.

"Don't you think you two are playing with fire?"

"What're you talking about?" Steve said, once again dumbfounded.

"…You know she has attachment issues, Steve." Natasha was clearly uncomfortable voicing this if her expression was any indication. Uncomfortable, but resigned.

Steve immediately got defensive.

"I know that." He was well versed in Stella's attachment issues, which he assumed were a result of her deep rooted fear of abandonment. A fear he hadn't created, but had certainly contributed to.

"Just be careful okay? I don't want you guys to get hurt."

"Get hurt how?" Steve demanded, starting to get annoyed.

"By rushing into something."

"We aren't rushing into anything. We're just friends."

A necessary, but painful truth.

"Steve, Bucky just left. It's not good for Stella to just…" Natasha trailed off.

"Just what?"

"Steve…"

"Just what Natasha?"

"Just jump into another relationship because it's less painful than being alone." Her expression turned guilty as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

Ouch.

"I'm sure it's been hard for you two since he's been gone-"

"Is that really what you think is going on between us? That we're using each other to dull the pain? That we're treating each other as place holders until Bucky gets back?"

The assassin bit her lip.

Maybe part of her assumption was right. Maybe it was easier to spend time with each other than it was the rest of the team since Bucky left. Maybe it did dull the pain. Sure, they'd gotten closer. But they hadn't crossed any lines. They were friends and nothing more.

But to imply they were using each other? Natasha couldn't be more off base or frankly, out of line.

"Steve-"

"Don't Nat." He snapped. "I abandoned her once and I'm not doing it again."

"Steve, I'm not saying you should abandon her. I'm just saying some space might be good for you two."

"It's really none of your business."

"Steve, I know you have feelings for her. But pain is a part of the healing process," She pressed.

"You don't think she's been through enough pain these past few months? Since she came here? Since she met me? Since her mother died?" He snarled.

Natasha held his gaze.

"I won't abandon her again. She needs me." Steve continued.

"That's what I'm worried about Steve. What if you need to leave again? With Bucky gone-"

"Enough," Steve snapped. "I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions. And so can Stella. Just back off Nat."

Natasha stared.

"What if Bucky comes back?"

"What if Bucky comes back?" Steve repeated, not understanding where she was going with this.

"Are you just going to back off and let the two of them be together? What about you Steve?"

"If it means they're happy…" Steve trailed off. "I'd do anything for them."

"At your expense? You deserve to be happy too, Steve. You can't just sacrifice your happiness for theirs."

Steve swallowed, resolved.

"Watch me."

Stella POV

"Stella, what did you put in those margaritas?"

Stella looked up at Wanda's question. Sam's birthday had arrived. The rec room had been decked out in streamers and balloons in honor of the occasion. The cake Stella had prepared was displayed on a table laden with gifts in the center of the room. It was a smaller get together; the normal group consisting of Sam, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Bruce, Thor, and Steve.

"Tequila?" Stella responded questioningly. She took a sip of her own. Yep, it was a margarita alright. Albeit with more expensive tequila than she was accustomed to. She just couldn't resist when she saw that beautiful unopened bottle behind the bar.

Wanda nodded in the direction of Steve who having a conversation with Sam and Thor. The super soldier's face was bright red and he was laughing hysterically at a story Thor was telling.

"Okay?" She said, not understanding Wanda's implication.

"He's drunk." Natasha pointed out.

"And?" It took Stella a moment to process what Natasha had said. She was a few margaritas in herself.

"He can't get drunk."

The assassin's words sunk in. A memory from when she'd first met Steve was tugging at the corner of her mind.

"Do I need to be worried?" Stella teased as she slid a fourth Merman IPA in front of Steve who was seated at the bar of Russo's. It was nearing the end of her shift. "You're not used to IPAs so it's only fair I tell you they're stronger than regular beer."

"No need to worry about me." Steve said taking a sip from the bottle. As a disguise she'd helped him pick out a baseball hat and glasses in a classic black frame. Stella felt a little silly for not recognizing him at first now that she knew he was Captain America but it made her feel better that the other patrons seemed not to either.

"You say that until I'm carrying you back to my place at the end of the night."

He laughed.

"Since you seem concerned, it's only fair I tell you I can't get drunk."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Huh." She stopped wiping the counter and stared at him.

He shrugged.

"Perks of being a super soldier."

"No hangovers either?"

He shook his head.

"Jeez. What can I do to get my hands on that stuff?"

He laughed again. Stella grinned at him.

Steve tripping over the side table and toppling over snapped Stella back to the present.

Had she ever seen him trip before?

Thor and Sam lifted Steve and steadied him. Thor looked positively delighted to do so.

"What kind of tequila?" Clint queried, eyeing his drink dubiously.

"It was just Clase Azul," Stella said, flabbergasted. Sure, the stuff was expensive but definitely not strong enough to inebriate a super soldier. She was a little tipsy herself, but not drunk. How many margaritas had Steve had to achieve this level of intoxication?

"How many did he have?" She voiced this thought.

"Only two I think," Wanda said.

"Seems he's a sloppy drunk," Vision observed.

"Well, I'm just happy the guy's finally letting loose," Clint said.

Something pinged in Stella's head.

Earlier that Week

"Hi Thor. Haven't seen you in a while."

"Stella, good to see you." He greeted. "I've been visiting Jane in Norway."

"How's she doing?"

"Good, thanks."

He took a seat beside her on the bench.

The rest of the team was in the middle of a training session. Thor rarely joined them for training, usually off hunting leads, visiting Jane, or in another dimension all together.

"How's Steve doing?" He asked. Said man was watching Clint and Sam spar.

"Okay, I think…He misses Bucky."

"I was sorry to hear of his departure. How're you holding up?" Thor eyed her.

Stella shrugged.

"I'm fine." She swallowed. "Steve is still searching for him."

"He is?"

Stella nodded.

"He spends all his spare time looking for Bucky or training me…I wish he could let loose a little. Poor guy acts like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"Impossible. Even I couldn't support that much weight."

"It's an expression Thor."

Stella walked over to Sam, Thor and Steve.

"Stella!" Steve greeted enthusiastically.

"Hi Steve," She said, amused. She turned to the god beside him. "Thor?"

"Lady Stella," Thor responded, clinking glasses with her.

"Can I have a word?"

"Certainly."

He followed her into the hall. Stella walked down a few extra paces to ensure they had privacy.

"What can I do for you?" Thor asked, taking a sip of his margarita.

"Thor…did you spike Steve's drink?"

"I'm not familiar with this term," He replied, toying with the tiny umbrella on his glass.

"Did you add anything to his drink? Something that wasn't in my recipe?" Stella pressed.

Thor let out a poorly repressed giggle.

"Maybe."

Stella shook her head. She knew it.

"What did you do?"

Thor reached into his back pocket and pulled out a silver flask.

"Just added a little Asgardian liquor is all."

Stella took the bottle and uncorked it.

"Don't drink it," Thor warned. She took a tentative sniff and gagged.

"That's got to be over 100 proof liquor."

"Good eye. It's actually 200 proof."

Stella gaped at him.

"And it's safe for human consumption?"

"Certainly not. It's not meant for mortal men. Or women."

"But you gave some to Steve?"

"He's a super soldier," Thor said by way of explanation. "And he's had some before. Not this particular brew but…"

"Have you had any Asgardian booze tonight?"

"Yes."

"But you're not tripping over yourself drunk."

Thor shrugged. He seemed completely unconcerned.

"He's not in any danger, is he?" Stella clarified.

"Of course not. You wanted him to let loose, didn't you?"

"I didn't mean drug him!" Stella exclaimed.

"Are you going to tell Natasha on me?" Thor asked and Stella was surprised to see he actually looked fearful.

"No, I won't. As long as Steve's not in any danger."

"He'll be fine. Though he'll be in for a hell of a hangover tomorrow."

Yikes. Sorry Steve.

As if reading her thoughts Steve manifested behind Thor, throwing his arm around the other's shoulder.

"What're you guys talkin' about?" His Brooklyn accent was even heavier than normal.

"Nothing," Thor said quickly.

"Can I talk to Stella?" Steve asked.

"Er…" Thor glanced at Stella.

"It's fine." Stella assured him. Thor nodded before disappearing down the hallway to return to the party.

"Having fun?" Stella asked.

Steve nodded, giving her a lopsided grin.

"Those were a great round of drinks you made."

"Steve…Thor may have spiked your margarita."

Steve looked dumbfounded for a moment before realization swept over him.

"I knew there was a reason I felt this way."

"Sorry," Stella apologized though she wasn't sure why.

"It's okay. M'sure he just wanted everyone to have a good time. It's been hard since Bucky left."

"It has." She agreed.

"How're you handling it?"

Stella shrugged. She didn't want to get into this now. Besides, Steve had dealt with enough of her griping.

"I'm okay."

"I miss him so much," Steve admitted. For once his guard was down, his emotions on full display.

Me too.

"Listen…I wanted to apologize to you."

"Apologize?" Stella repeated. Steve nodded.

"For everything. I just feel like I've made so many wrong calls."

"Steve…"

"No let me finish," He insisted. "I lied to you about who I was. I should have told you! And then I pushed you away because I was scared of how strong my feelings for you were." Stella jolted. Steve had never shared that with her. "…And then I tried to hide you from Pepper." His expression was guilt ridden.

"Steve," Stella interrupted. "It's okay. Really. Water under the bridge."

"I just…hope it hasn't ruined our relationship."

Stella didn't know what to say to that.

"I've never…I've never had this problem. I just wanted to protect you but I should have involved you in the decisions I was making." Stella was surprised to see Steve had tears in his eyes.

Oh boy…Guess Steve is an emotional drunk.

"Steve, it's okay. Really."

"It's not okay. What we had was beautiful and I ruined it."

"Steve…" Stella didn't know what to say. She wasn't ready to have this conversation. Bucky's loss was still too fresh.

"Sorry, I don't know why I'm babbling all this to you." He said as he wiped his face.

"You can always talk to me Steve." Stella said and she meant it. She rubbed his arm consolingly.

Steve smiled at her and in a flash engulfed her in a back breaking hug. It had never occurred to Stella that Steve might need to hold back when he'd held her or made love to her but now it was obvious that he did because this hug was ten times tighter than normal. Rather than fight it, Stella let him hold her.

"You don't need to bear things alone you know." Stella reminded him. "We're here for you. All of us."

"I know. I'm trying to change. To be a better man."

The thought was laughable to Stella. Steve was unequivocally the best man she knew.

"Steve," She pulled away slightly, so she was looking up at him. "You're the best man. Please don't ever change." Steve's eyes searched her own. Stella thought for a blinding second that he was going to kiss her but instead he just engulfed her in another python like hug.

"God, I love you so much."

Stella froze.

Steve had never uttered those words to her before. She felt like she'd been doused in ice, but not in an unpleasant way.

"There's something else, something I need to tell you." Steve murmured in her ear.

"Oh?" Was all Stella could manage. She was still processing his earlier admission. He pulled away, starting down at her with his hands on her shoulders.

"I knew who you were."

"Sorry?"

"I knew you were Tony's the moment I saw you. Before the results even came back positive."

"I…what?" She was still reeling from his earlier words, and now this?

"I could tell just by looking at you that you were his…felt it in my gut." His expression contorted. "And I pursued a relationship with you anyway. Let myself fall for you."

"Steve…There's no way you could have known." She didn't know why he was dredging this all up now. How long had he had this pent up?

"But I did!" He insisted, shaking her slightly for emphasis.

"Okay Steve. You knew…It's okay."

"No, it's not." His expression was nothing short of anguished.

"Steve, no one expects you to be perfect all the time. It's okay to make mistakes."

"The thing is…I don't regret it. I regret not telling you who I was, but I don't regret falling for you. I'll never regret that."

He held her there for a moment, not speaking further. They stared at each other. In that moment, Stella understood Steve did love her. The realization washed over her, warming her from head to toe.

Someone loved her.

Steve loved her.

For some reason, she felt oddly exposed, but emboldened.

"I don't regret falling for you either Steve."

It was true. After everything that had happened between them; all the drama, the lies, the tears…She didn't regret it. Steve was her first love. And no matter what happened between them in the future, he'd always hold that place in her heart.

His cobalt eyes bore into her own. His hands, which were still on her shoulders, tightened. This time she reached for him. He pulled her into his chest, crushing her to him. She breathed in his scent. Cotton, oak, Steve.

They held each other for a long while. Minutes passed. Stella could still hear the party down the hall, though she and Steve stood in silence.

Steve began sinking against her, pressing her back into the wall.

"Steve?" Stella asked tentatively. She pushed back a little. She hadn't realized how much of the man's weight was on her. To her horror he began to fall over. Stella was strong, very strong but she couldn't support Steve's weight on her own. He plopped to the floor, Stella going with him. She glanced up at the man and was shocked to see he was asleep.

What the hell was in that Asgardian liquor?

She sighed, brushing Steve's hair out of his face. His expression was perfectly at ease. He looked young like this, for once without his usual serious expression. A deep fondness settled in her chest. She stood, before going to enlist a certain god's help in getting the man to his bedroom.

Stella POV

"Stop," Her voice was ragged, weak. She was so tired.

"Submit and the pain will stop."

"I can't," She sobbed.

"Again!"

White hot electricity snaked through her. She screamed.

"You've nothing left soldier."

"No!" She screamed but her voice came out wrong. It was the scream of a man's. A scream she'd heard before.

Stella thrashed, tossing her head from side to side.

"You're toxic to them. I can see inside your head. They're better off without you."

Electricity coursed through her, searing her, burning her. It was overpowering, unbearable.

She screamed again, convulsing wildly.

"Stella!"

Steve tried to rouse her. The girl jerked and sobbed, still in the throes of her nightmare. Her skin was searing hot to the touch. It was a miracle the sheets hadn't gone up in flames.

"No!" She howled as the electricity coursed through her again. "Noooooo!"

"STELLA!" Steve bellowed, gripping her shoulders and shaking her despite the pain that scorched his palms at contact with her skin.

She gasped, sitting bolt upright in bed, her eyes blazing blue and wild with fear.

"Stella. Stella," Steve cooed gently, trying to get her attention. Her eyes darted around the room, taking in her surroundings. He was kneeling next to her, eyes wide with concern. "It's me honey. Calm down. Deep breaths."

She tried to regulate her breathing as she hyperventilated. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, threatening to explode. She and her pajamas were soaked with sweat, her fingers gripping the sheets.

The bedside light was on, illuminating the space. Steve's room. She was in Avenger's Compound. The realization helped calm her slightly. Her eyes, still wide and flickering that unnatural tesseract blue, settled on Steve.

"Steve," She managed.

"That's right. I'm right here sweetheart." Steve pressed her hand to his heart so she could feel his regular heartbeat.

It helped. She closed her eyes so she could focus on it, until her own heart finally began to calm.

Steve reached up to wipe away the tears that had escaped down her cheeks.

"That was some nightmare." He said, taking a seat next to her on the bed.

Stella swallowed. Her eyes had returned to their normal brown, though they were still wide and fearful.

"It didn't feel like a nightmare." She was trembling.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, his expression concerned.

"It felt real, Steve."

"What did you dream?" He pressed, brows furrowed.

"I dreamt…about Bucky. He was being tortured. But I could…feel his pain. It was like I was being tortured, like I was inside him."

Steve hesitated for a long moment.

"It was just a dream Stella."

"It didn't feel like a dream, Steve. He was being electrocuted. I could feel it!" She knew she sounded crazy, but she needed him to understand.

"Did you say…electrocuted?" Steve's face changed from concerned to horrified.

"Yes."

He held her gaze.

"It's impossible." He muttered, more to himself than her.

"What?" Stella asked, wishing she could read his mind.

"Electricity is how Hydra wiped Bucky's memories. How they made him comply. Did he ever tell you that?"

Stella shook her head. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"I would remember that, Steve."

"Bucky left of his own accord. He's in hiding." He said, though he seemed less confident than before.

"Steve, please believe me. I could feel Bucky's pain."

She wasn't sure how. It didn't make any sense. But she was there with him.

Steve stared at her, his expression like he was unraveling a puzzle. He flexed his hands. Stella glanced at them. Red welts marred his palms.

"Steve!" She took his hands in hers, cradling them in her lap. She examined the fresh, angry burns.

"Did I do this?" She whispered, appalled.

"Your skin was white hot," Steve answered. He pulled his palms away. "It was an accident."

"I'm so sorry Steve," Stella said, now wracked with guilt. "Did I set anything on fire?" She looked around the room. Everything was undisturbed.

"No, you contained it. I think it means the training is helping."

A small consolation.

"Back to the dream. Did you recognize anyone? See anyone but Bucky?"

She technically hadn't seen Bucky, she had been Bucky. But she knew it was him because when she screamed, it was Bucky's voice that came out of her mouth.

She wracked her brain for more details from the dream.

"There was a man. I didn't recognize him, but he was wearing some sort of uniform. And he was holding a red notebook."

"What did the notebook look like? Were there any distinguishing features?" Steve demanded.

Stella closed her eyes.

"I think…there was a picture on the front. Some sort of shape. A star maybe?"

Steve's face drained of color.

"You believe me, don't you?" It was hard to keep the anxiety out of her voice.

"…I do. But we have no reason to believe Bucky's been taken." Steve said.

"Steve, we have to do something," Stella begged.

"I agree. We need to find him."

XXX

Turns out finding Bucky was easier said than done. Steve enlisted Stella into the search, though there was only so much she could do seeing as she couldn't leave the compound.

After a week they'd exhausted their resources and were out of options. Steve had asked Natasha to reach out to some contacts from the Red Room, but they were all dead ends. Clint assisted with what he referred to as "old school spy stuff", but nothing came of it. Steve even interrogated Loki again on Hydra's whereabouts but the god revealed nothing, always directing the conversation to, for some unfathomable reason, Stella.

"I know you know where they are."

"What is this obsession with finding Hydra, Captain?"

"That's my business." Steve snapped.

"You know what they say. Cut off one head-"

"Shut the hell up."

"You're not trying to find them, are you? You're trying to find Barnes."

"How do you know Bucky is gone?"

Loki smirked. "There's not much that gets past me, Captain. Tell me, how is Miss Stark doing?"

"Leave Stella out of this." Steve snarled.

"Tell her I said hello, would you? She's welcome to visit me down here anytime she wants." As if on cue, Loki turned to stare at the security camera. Stella suppressed a shiver, though she was tucked safely away in the lab with Clint and Natasha. She watched Steve glower at Loki through the screen.

"Why does Loki keep asking about you?" Natasha queried. "He's never expressed an interest in you before, has he?"

Stella had a bad feeling, but she wasn't sure why.

"I don't know."

"He did try to kill her the night she came to the compound," Clint reminded her.

"How could I forget?" Stella muttered.

"And then you and I fought him when his men broke in looking for the tesseract…" Natasha muttered.

"There was that time in the cells…" Clint hedged. Stella's eyes snapped up. Her time in the cells was not one she looked back on fondly.

Thankfully Steve's arrival in the lab acted as a subject change.

"Anything?"

He shook his head.

"He's playing games with me. At this rate we'll never find Bucky."

"We'll find him Steve. We're doing everything we can," Natasha said.

"It's not enough!" He shouted, startling them.

"Steve, what's with the sudden urgency to find Bucky? He's been gone for months now. Did something change?"

Steve and Stella met each other's gaze. Up until now, they hadn't told anyone about Stella's nightmare.

"What's going on?" Clint said, not missing the shared look.

"I had a dream…A nightmare really," Stella started. Clint and Natasha stared at her. "Bucky was being tortured. By Hydra."

"Okay?"

"You guys weren't there. Stella was so distraught that her skin was blazing hot." Natasha's eyes dropped to Steve's bandaged hands before flicking to Stella. Stella didn't miss the judgement in her gaze.

"I could feel Bucky being electrocuted. They were trying to wipe his memories. To get him to break," Stella said, trying her best to remain calm and not sound hysterical. Every moment they wasted talking about this was another moment Bucky could be being hurt.

"Stella, I have nightmares too sometimes. I know they can feel real-" Natasha started.

"This was different Natasha. Tell them Steve!"

"There were things Stella saw in the dream. Things she didn't know about, that Bucky never told her about."

"What kinds of things?"

"About how they tortured him. About the red notebook."

"Those could be a coincidence, Steve."

"You guys aren't understanding. I was there. I could feel his pain and hear him screaming," Stella implored.

"But how? It's impossible that you would know he was being tortured at that moment, even if that was the case."

Stella had wondered this herself.

"…I don't know."

"Stella…I know Bucky is important to you," Natasha started gently.

"Stop! This isn't about me being worried or missing him." She steeled herself. "I know he's being tortured. We need to do something."

"Stella…" Steve started.

Stella could feel her eyes welling with tears and knew it was doing little to help her case. He placed a calming hand on her shoulder and squeezed. Clint and Natasha clocked the movement.

"Come on guys. We've seen stranger stuff than this," Steve said to them. "Haven't we?"

Stella could tell Natasha and Clint weren't convinced but they did promise to keep pressing their contacts for any information. Stella felt betrayed, though at this point she shouldn't have been surprised. They'd already proved how loyal they were when they locked her in a cell.

Finding out about Bucky had opened old wounds. She felt more on edge than ever and the numbness that had replaced the pain at his departure had gone.

"They're going to start thinking you're as crazy as I am if you keep defending me," Stella said to Steve that night as they were getting ready for bed.

"Stella, they don't think you're crazy," Steve said, turning to her from where he was preparing his cot.

She was curled up on his bed, her arms wrapped up around her legs.

"They don't believe me."

Steve took a seat next to her.

"They're realists by nature. They can't wrap their head around the circumstances of how you found out. Don't take it to heart."

"You believe me, don't you?"

His eyes softened.

"Of course I do."

They stared at each other for a moment.

They'd never spoken about what Steve revealed to her the other night when he was drunk. Stella didn't think Steve even remembered.

She wasn't sure if she was glad or disappointed.

Now wasn't the time for this. They needed to focus on finding Bucky, on getting him back to the compound, on making him safe.

One problem at a time.