Upside Down Mirror: Granger Yet
Processing Thoughts

"I must have had a nightmare."

Regulus turned his head to look at the window of the bedroom he shared with Olivia, taking note of the position of the sun meant he'd actually slept in yet another morning rather than waking up early as he normally did, though knowing Olivia, she'd likely chide him about not getting enough sleep already.

"Didn't I promise to get my thoughts together?"

He'd told Olivia as much that night which seemed like a far off nightmare than actual reality, but the frustration he felt at his thoughts not coming together kept growing as the days passed him by. His struggle with communicating was definitely getting the better of him, as was having to take a step back while doing nothing.

And—

Regulus wanted the whole thing to be a nightmare, yet when Regulus glanced down, he freezed upon seeing his left forearm.

He swallowed, the memories of the nightmare plaguing him night after night of seeing the Infiri rising out of the water so they might pull him in, the worst part being the faces were all members of the Granger family. He also remembered being pulled under the water and the urge to escape.

He slapped his hand over the mark. "Olivia must have given me something to sleep last night, hoping I might actually get a good nights sleep finally." He took in the fact he wasn't lying down, meaning she must have sat up with him until he fell back asleep as well. His nails were covered in black nail polish, something he did when he was fidgety from agitation.

He quickly pulled off the pajama shirt with its short sleeves and reached for a long-sleeved shirt to hide not only the Dark Mark but the scars which he knew covered his back and other parts of his body. The shirt was black, just like the chocker he grabbed from the side of the bed, but as he slipped it on Regulus couldn't help but think his mind was in the right state of things to be seeking out the color black rather than the blues he normally preferred.

He headed out then towards the bathroom, hoping to freshen up and finally get his thoughts sorted when he bumped into Elizabeth, but the first thing out of his mouth happened to be his childhood nickname for her. "Princess?"

She looked at him, her eyes wide making Regulus think at that moment that there was something else he was forgetting. He tried smiling at her, while she stared, transfixed almost while he contemplated asking if she no longer liked the childhood nickname when she blurted out, "I hate magic."

"What?" His mind still felt like it was in a fog, but then her eyes drifted down to look at his left forearm. Any attempt to smile at her left as his right hand reached out to clinch the sleeve which covered his left arm while he sucked in his breath deeply.

"I hate magic, daddy."

"You saw?" Regulus felt his voice catch in his throat. "I don't understand. When? I mean…"

"Last night. Mom told me to go back to bed, but…" She continued staring at his arm.

"I can't blame you for being disgusted, not when it disgusts me as well." He swallowed. "Do you hate me?"

She looked up at him, right in the eye. "I hate magic."

She turned and headed into her room, pulling the door closed behind her. Swallowing back the stress which was building, he knocked on her door. "Elizabeth?"

"I'm not coming out."

"Please. I want to talk."

"I don't want to talk about it!"

Regulus backed away, his heart sinking. He leaned against the wall, feeling as he did whenever he felt like crying when Jules hurried past. She held onto the stuffed rabbit she'd lent him the night before, yet that mischievous smile said she was up to something.

Regulus sighed, heading in the direction she came from in hopes of either figuring out what she did or finding Olivia so she might tell him what their youngest was up to. He also needed to speak to her, about what he needed to do, what he'd been mulling over as the best he could the last few days—and nights.

He found her in the kitchen, taking on things he normally would be doing, even enjoyed doing. Leaning up against the door, he let out a deep sigh. She turned, smiling at him, only for the smile to falter. "You don't look rested at all. Even look like you've got a headache starting in."

"Sorry. Elizabeth. Did she see?"

"I'm so sorry rabbit." Olivia hurried over, pulling him into the kitchen while his shoulders sagged and his mouth twisted into a frown.

"She hates me, but I'm the reason she hates magic."

"I don't think that's quite what was going on." Olivia pulled him over to the table where he saw pancakes with banana eyes and a syrup smile looking up at him.

"Jules?"

"She wanted to make her daddy feel better. They might just be a little cold, but…"

A smile spread across his face as he sat down. "I don't mind. That said…" The smile remained, despite the many different emotions he was feeling. "If this is how Elizabeth reacted, how is Hermione going to react when she learns the truth. She knows more about this than Elizabeth does."

"She won't hate you."

"You don't know that she'll hate you when you tell her."

He leaned into his right hand, letting out a sigh. "When?"

"She gets home tomorrow, remember?"

"I remember, but…" Regulus didn't touch the pancakes, no longer smiling. "I've got to go back, Olivia."

"Can I ask why?"

"The short story is, I've unfinished business that only I can take care of, but the sooner I get it done, the sooner our girls can be safe."

She didn't respond to him, or at least he didn't think she did until he felt her arms wrap around his shoulders. "If this were anybody else, rabbit, I'd say they were being full of themselves."

"I am so sorry. I really did think I had taken care of everything. That it had been destroyed back then, sixteen years ago. It needs to be destroyed, to stop him."

"Wait—" Olivia tensed up. "Regulus, does whatever you need to do have anything to do with why you nearly lost your life sixteen years ago?"

"Sorry," Regulus muttered, feeling her lean in close, waiting for her to be angry with him.

"Regulus—" He didn't remember the last time she used his real name, but definitely never when they thought one of the girls might accidentally hear. "What have we told you about apologizing for things that aren't our fault?"

"I shouldn't."

"And what else does mother always tell you."

"That I need to rely on others." Regulus kept his eyes closed. "But see, I can't Olivia. There's not a person I can turn to, and don't you dare say that I should drag Hermione into this."

Olivia let go and he wasn't sure what she was up to until he heard the chair scrape against the ground. "Nobody?"

"You know that—well, I will have to go back to the family home to retrieve the item, or to at least see whether or not it was destroyed. I'd not thought of their being more of them, but suddenly that makes too much sense and I feel so stupid."

"You were only seventeen, nor did you ever graduate." She reached out, gently turning his face so he might look her in the face. "Are you sure there's nobody?"

"I've told you. One side of the family would like to see me dead for betraying that monster while the rest of the family—" Regulus turned his head to look at the pancakes. "Well, I told you the other side would rather see me rot in Azkaban and the others I don't want to drag into this. Plus, I've no way of contacting anyone."

"So this was why you were so fidgety last night and struggled with getting your thoughts together, or should I say put your words together." She leaned in, whispering into his ear. "But, if this means you getting torn to shreds again…"

"It doesn't." Regulus smiled, pulling the plate of pancakes closer. "I've my wand, thanks to Hamlet finding it in the car your parents used to take me to the cottage hospital that they run, but I simply need to go back to that cursed place and retrieve the item plus some of my books so that I can figure out how to destroy the damn thing."

"And what if your parents notice you're there."

Regulus frowned as he cut into their pancakes. "Nobody ever noticed me."

Thoughts of Kreacher flickered through his head along with thoughts about how upset the House Elf would be to learn that he'd gone farther over the deep end than Sirius ever did. He didn't need, though, to summon Kreacher to know where the House Elf liked to hide things, yet he didn't wish to make the old creature cry—if Walburga hadn't already done the barbaric thing of decapitating him.

"Well, almost nobody. The point is, nobody would ever notice I was there."

"That's honestly quite sad," Olivia said while he started eating the pancakes Jules helped her mother make. He didn't care that they were a little too sweet as Olivia left the room. She came back and touched his head. "At least let me fix your hair before you leave."

"It's not in a ponytail anymore?"

"You were in one of your moods last night and decided to go with something different, but who am I to argue about it." While he continued eating, Olivia gently brushed out his hair with her fingers before putting it back into the style he'd put it in the night before. She leaned in, whispering into his ear. "I love you, Regulus Arcturus Black, but you'd better come home promptly and in one piece this time."

Regulus muttered an affirmative, thinking in his mind that nothing could possibly go wrong when he apparated to his old bedroom back at Grimmauld Place.

Except, he'd not apparated in many years and the first thought in his head was that he might be lucky he'd not spliced himself, although he corrected himself as he landed on his bottom that the real issue wasn't splicing himself so much as the landing. He brushed it aside telling himself nobody would notice as Walburga frequented much lower floors than the floor below, as did Orion.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up, almost gagging at the site of the newspaper clippings over his childhood bed, remembering exactly how naive he was. The green of the room also made him feel unwell, reminding him of how he'd never felt like he fit in that house, the exception being the one professor he didn't dare contact and further disappoint. His mind barely registered the door slamming open, yet his head did turn so he might look wide-eyed at the intruder he'd most definitely hadn't expected. A shudder ran through his body.

"Oh, crap," he said right as the person swung their fist at him.