Granger Yet
Mugglized

Feelings.

Sirius didn't like how he felt being in proximity to that person pretending to be Regulus Arcturus Black, let alone being helpful and waking the brat up so that Remus could get the bloody Death Eater to drink some water. And every so often, Remus would send him a look, that looks Remus got whenever he and James were acting childish, and he just wished they would knock it off already—if they couldn't, of course, convince him to join in.

And Remus wouldn't be joining in. There was just something—

She'd been there. Twice now. And she was convinced the man lying on the couch suffering from a concussion was, in fact, Regulus Arcturus Black. Yet, there were little things in Sirius's mind that didn't add up, such as how Regulus, who was left-handed, used his right hand instead or how Regulus wore Muggle clothing as if it were second nature to him. He'd even told Remus about the looks Regulus would give him when he—Sirius, that is—wore Muggle clothes around the house.

He'd even admitted on the off chance when Walburga Black visited again that he'd not been staying with anybody magical, that he'd been living among Muggles, which Sirius knew in the back of his head was the best place for anyone, particularly a Death Eater who was supposed to loath Muggles to hide. And he was rebellious about doing so, and Regulus wasn't defiant—or flippant. He was simply his soft, idiot brother who went along with what mummy and daddy wanted him to do.

"And don't get me started on him not caring about how his supposed death affected us, that it meant nothing," Sirius blurted out to Remus before the others started arriving, such as some of the Weasley family, so they could safely transport the children—Harry's friends to Grimmauld place where it was safe, yet not Harry. Instead, he got stuck with Regulus, or this Death Eater pretending to be him, so Sirius was definitely miserable.

That was what he felt when the orange furball that belonged to Harry's friend Hermione came hurtling through the door and pounced on Regulus, catching both of them off guard while Tonks let out a chuckle. And Regulus stared right before saying, "Crookshanks?"

Sirius opened his mouth, wanting to continue lecturing his brother about how he didn't need a condom, not really wanting to talk about his brother having sex at all, when he found himself stopping, confusion setting in—confusion that likely showed all to well on his face as well as his irritation. "How the hell do you know the name of that half-Kneezle?"

To which Regulus stared at him with wide eyes, much as he did when they were children, and he'd been caught doing something embarrassing that he'd not realized he'd been doing until Sirius pointed that something out. And there came no answer as Crookshanks broke out into an audible purr, Regulus' right hand draped over the orange fluff ball while the other dangled by the side of the couch.

And Tonks was laughing, finding the situation downright amusing.

Sirius did not, mainly since Crookshanks being there meant their owner was there, and he remembered the girl to be—he heard her speak from behind him, towards the door. "Hey."

It was meek, definitely sounding a bit unsure as Sirius turned to tell her that she'd best leave his Death Eater of a brother alone; as much as he hated admitting that person on the couch was related to him, those doubts circling in his head, that paranoia he'd thought he left behind already trying to resurface. He didn't get a chance to say anything about going Regulus well enough alone.

Because Regulus randomly blurted out in front of everyone in the room, "I want to have sex with your mom."

The feelings, all of those negative feelings, suddenly accumulated into one solidified negative feeling, at least for that moment. That feeling was absolute mortification that his supposed to be prim and proper younger brother would say such a thing to a young lady, which to Sirius was more proof that it wasn't Regulus. He turned, looking at Regulus wide-eyed, looking in Hermione's direction, speaking to her directly. "Excuse me?"

"Whatever for?" Regulus asked, in that way Regulus always did, infuriating Sirius with how much the imposter got right compared to how much he got wrong.

"You," Sirius started, pointing his finger, flinching when Hermione brushed past him as if hearing Regulus say what he just said was a pretty standard thing to hear.

And she said, "What happened to your neck?"

"My neck?" Regulus said.

Sirius watched as Hermione lifted her finger and pointed at a red mark on Regulus' neck that Sirius hadn't paid much attention to. Yet, in thinking about where it might have come from, he did remember Walburga pulling a black chocker from Regulus' neck the day before and realized doing so had left its mark. And, of course, Sirius found his mouth opening and saying, "It looks like a hickey."

To his delight, he watched Regulus' eyes widen in sudden horror, his right hand for getting around Crookshanks, who remained perched on his chest, purring to clasp his hand over his neck. However, what amusement Sirius felt towards Regulus' discomfort at what he'd just suggested was lost when Regulus said rather firmly, "I am not cheating on your mother."

"Regulus Arcturus Black!" Sirius blurted out as someone else spoke from the drawing-room door.

"You're needed downstairs, Tonks."

"But it's just getting good, Kingsley," Tonks said, obviously amused regarding the direction of the conversation.

"We're being given a task," Kingsley said.

"Already?" Tonks said, making Sirius' gut lurch, remembering the only thing he could do was give them Grimmauld as their hiding place, although seeing both Regulus and Walburga made him question doing so.

"We'll discuss the details downstairs."

And then there was quiet between the three of them, making Sirius wish Remus was there, but instead, his friend was elsewhere in the house. Regulus finally broke the silence, still clutching his neck while looking at Hermione, who still pointed at his neck. "Really. I'm not cheating on your mother. I promise."

"As if you ever would," Hermione said, far calmer than Sirius felt she should be.

"Hermione dear," Sirius felt his throat tighten, finding himself definitely disturbed by the current turn of events. "You shouldn't be talking so candidly with him. He's a death eater, you know."

"Yes. I know," Hermione said, remaining calm and collected despite Sirius thinking there should be more of a reaction to the news.

"Oh," Regulus said, there definitely being a hint of disappointment that Hermione had found out.

"Pervert," was Sirius first thought, his mind—the person in front of him—

"Did Olivia tell you?" Regulus asked.

"Yes. Mom told me," Hermione said.

"Wait a second," Sirius said. "This is some kind of sick joke, right?"

Regulus stared, hand scratching the ear of the purr blaster sitting on his chest, not saying anything.

Hermione, on the other hand—her mouth twisted into a definite frown as she placed her hands on her hips, giving him a look which said she wasn't at all amused by the sick joke of Regulus', which Sirius didn't want even to begin to think of what that meant. And despite hoping she wouldn't say anything to turn his world upside down further, she said, "And what pray tell do you mean by that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just said it was a sick joke. What did you mean by that, Sirius?" And now Hermione was crossing her arms, glaring at him specifically while Regulus was staring with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing like a fish outside of water.

Sirius stared, then said. "What do you think I meant?"

Her lips pushed together. "Do you have a problem with my mother because she's a Muggle?"

"What the bloody Merlin!" Sirius said as Regulus let out a groan, forgetting about Crookshanks as he covered his eyes with his right hand. And Crookshanks continued to purr.

"Well?"

"That ass hole certainly has you and your mother fooled, doesn't he?" Sirius snapped.

"In what way do you mean?" Hermione said, continuing to glare at him. "How pray tell Sirius, is my mother and I being fooled?"

"Seriously!" Sirius said.

"You're the one named Sirius," Regulus blurted out, finally making Hermione shift her glare onto him. "But you bloody haven't figured it out?"

"Figured what out?"

"I mean, who did you think I married?"

"You're not bloody married," Sirius said, glaring at his brother.

And Regulus dropped his hand, looking at Sirius as if he were some kind of idiot. "What do you mean I'm not bloody married?"

"I'm saying there's no way in Bloody Merlin that you're married!"

"Bloody hell! Stop lying!" Regulus said.

"I'm not lying!" Sirius yelled. "I am not bloody yelling, you moron!"

"You're not bloody lying?" Regulus said, his voice straining. "I remember quite well the conversation we had yesterday that says otherwise!"

"And what would that be?" Sirius said, not remembering the conversation ever going into Regulus being married.

"Hilarious, you jerk," Regulus said. "Because I very well remember her telling me he keeled over when he saw."

Sirius jerked, definitely remember Walburga Black saying Orion keeled over upon seeing the tapestry and that his perfect heir was dead. And he remembered Regulus being flippant about the whole thing, of not apologizing for making everyone think he was dead.

"And I'm not going to apologize for marrying Olivia. Not ever."

Or perhaps that wasn't it at all.