Hey everyone and welcome back, time for more chaos of Naruto hanging with the Big Bang crew.
This is episode 5 of season one: The Hamburger Postulate.
Last time for this: Naturally with Naruto around, things will get worse or better depending on the situation in question. And I will say that while Naruto may seem perfect at times, he has his own flaws, quirks, and moments too.
Last time for this: So obviously, this is a harem, and it will likely have girls from other series in this too, not sure how big it will be, but unlikely to exceed 10.
I think that's it so let's get this show on the road.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Big Bang Theory, or anything associated nor anything else that may be added to this fic later on.
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
[Radio, TV, or altered voice]
[Book, Computer, Letter, Text Message]
*see bottom for note
{Translation}
CHAPTER 3: COFFEE AND DESIRES
CHEESECAKE FACTORY
"Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of Orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg." Sheldon commented as he moved sugar and ketchup against some hot sauce and pepper.
"Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla." Howard countered holding up mustard, salt, and gesturing to some Splenda packets.
"No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and the Hulk." Leonard countered indicating some sweet and low packets and a bottle of ranch.
"Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?" Raj asked pointing to a set of jelly packets and some soy sauce bottles.
"Hey, you guys ready to order?" Penny asked looking at them as Naruto waved and wrote in a notebook while having some cups in front of him.
"Hang on, honey.." Howard replied before turning to Raj, "Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?" Howard asked incredulously as he stared at Raj.
"And Orcs!" Leonard added smugly.
"I'll be back." Penny commented before Naruto waved her over and started talking to her while the guys were still arguing.
"Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps." Raj countered as Penny nodded to Naruto and wrote down on her notepad before walking away.
"Doesn't matter anyway, Orcs are magical but they have no magical powers or attacks and their weapons and armor are normal, not enchanted, so they won't be any better against Superman. The flipside is that because this isn't alternate Superman, he's not going to kill, meaning the Union won't take that heavy of losses beyond the Orcs and Superman wouldn't let the South kill people he's already stopped from being a threat." Naruto spoke pulling attention to him.
"Then when Hulk joins the fight, he and Superman will wreck Gettysburg and kill many in the fighting and decimate the entire area until only one is alive with it really being a coin toss of who will in fact win since an in-depth study showed that Hulk is on par with Doomsday in many ways with Doomsday's healing factor just being better than the Hulk's. Ganesh also being the god of wisdom would know to just pull their forces back while only having Superman going in, knowing that he and Hulk would indeed cause that destruction and thus wipe out the Union forces there or at least nearly crippling them as the smarter ones will flee and get clear of the fighting. Thus, Gettysburg is lost to both with the Union taking heavier casualties from that point forward and then they meet up to fight again in a new location." He continued making them all frown and look at their remaining forces.
"Darn, a tie with a slight edge to the South." Sheldon sighed as the others did as well.
"Hey, where's Penny? We should order." Leonard asked and Naruto sat back.
"She's putting the orders in." Naruto commented making them look at him before Sheldon shrugged and began arranging things back to normal on the table.
"But we didn't order." Howard commented and Naruto nodded.
"I ordered for you." He answered making the other three blink.
"What if we didn't want what you ordered?" Leonard asked making Sheldon snort. "What?" He asked in confusion.
"Naruto knows, he always knows." Sheldon commented like it was obvious.
"Really? Always?" Howard asked and Sheldon nodded before they turned to Naruto.
"Howard: shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly allergic, kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Jewish boy with extra croutons. Raj: Meat lovers pizza until he's back on the full Hindu wagon which then means meat lovers pizza with no meat and a side of sauce to dip in. Leonard: Quesadilla with soy cheese, crispy fries, and a side of ketchup and mustard." Naruto listed as he kept writing.
"Uh... yeah, that's right." Howard commented as he blinked.
"What about Sheldon?" Raj asked as he was curious.
"Bacon barbeque cheeseburger with the bacon, barbeque sauce, and cheese on the side. Onion rings for the side and a side of marinara to dip it in. Sheldon would then complain about going to Big Boy Burger because that's where he eats on Tuesdays and that it's simpler because they only have one burger, the Big Boy. However, he will eat this one, find it enjoyable and superior to the Big Boy for him because it's a single decker burger whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker meaning it has a much better pleasing ratio of meat to bun to condiment and will decide he will be fine coming here on Tuesdays from now on. He will then contemplate cutting Soup Plantation from his food listings since the name annoys him as you can't grow soup, but he does indeed enjoy their food and the alternate form of eating he can get there. I would then point out to him that you can grow all the ingredients for soup, counting chickens if you want to get technical, and he will accept that Soup Plantation actually makes sense and will instead cut Big Boy from his listing." Naruto listed and then explained in detail making the three look at Sheldon, who seemed to be thinking before nodding his head.
"Yup, that all tracks." Sheldon commented as he sat there.
"I forgot to ask, what were you doing with those cups?" Howard asked and Naruto shrugged.
"Playing out the entirety of World War 2 in various scenarios and outcomes depending on just some minor changes occurring somewhere or doing drastic changes." Naruto explained as he wrote again.
"Like what?" Leonard asked and Naruto shrugged.
"If the U.S. wasn't the first to discover the atomic bombs. If Oppenheimer wasn't American but wasn't part of the Axis or Allies either. If Japan had decided to wait two-six more years before attacking Pearl Harbor. If Pearl Harbor was better planned. And some others." Naruto commented as he moved a cup.
"How does that turn out most of the time?" Sheldon asked curiously and Naruto shrugged.
"So far... 40% Allies win. 42% Axis win. 2% Germany wins solo. 5% Russia wins solo. 8% the U.S. wins and has to help rebuild a lot. 1% a different country wins the whole thing. 1% it ends in a draw with different leaders being assassinated by their own groups to make it all stop. The last 1% has been a bit of a scattered anomaly of the Allies and Axis basically weaken themselves so considerably that other countries not directly involved quickly pounce and take them by surprise consolidating control quickly without much resistance being mounted because no real resistance can be mounted. The U.S. is an exception because of the rednecks and southern boys that may not have been sent to war but all know how to fight and shoot and thus cause a lot of problems for people trying to take the U.S." Naruto listed making Sheldon nod in understanding since that all made sense.
"Question, why do you say the U.S. every time instead of America?" Howard asked and Naruto shrugged.
"Because it's more fitting. This country is the United States OF America, not America the United States. There are three American continents, with us being part of one, thereby meaning that Canadians, Mexicans, Columbians, Brazilians, and others are all technically Americans because they are people who live on an American continent, they're just not from the United States. Instead of calling us Americans, we should call ourselves Statesmen or something rather than basically declaring that the United States is all of America when it isn't." Naruto explained as he sat there making the four blink, but couldn't refute that statement completely.
"Here you go guys." Penny called as she came over with their food and set it down with Naruto having a burger, salad, pizza, and bowl of soup with a large slice of cheesecake there too.
"Thank you." The group stated as it was put down before someone else arrived.
"Hey Leonard." Leslie Winkle greeted as she walked over.
"Hey Leslie." Leonard replied somewhat surprised.
"Raj, Howard, pretty guy, dumbass." Leslie greeted as she looked at Raj, Howard, Naruto, and then Sheldon.
"Leslie/Winkle/Dullard." Raj and Howard greeted followed by Sheldon and then Naruto.
"Oh, Penny, this is Leslie Winkle. She and I do research together at the university." Leonard introduced making the two nod to each other.
"Oh, wow! A girl scientist." Penny commented in amazement.
"Yup, come for the breasts, stay for the brains." Leslie commented, making Naruto snort at the first joke.
"Don't sell your ass short, Leslie, I'm sure you bouncing and riding or twerking would be nice to see too." Naruto commented casually making Penny widen her eyes a bit while Leslie smirked.
"Well, maybe you'll get to see it sometime." She replied before turning to Leonard, "Anyway, Leonard, the physics department string quartet needs a new cellist." Leslie explained making Leonard frown at her.
"What happened to Elliot Wong?" Leonard asked and Leslie sighed.
"He switched over to high-energy radiation research, had a little mishap, and now the others are a little uncomfortable sitting near him." Leslie explained making Howard and Raj cross their legs a bit.
"Wow, Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello." Penny commented and Leonard nodded.
"Yeah, my parents decided naming me Leonard and putting me in all the advanced classes wasn't enough ammo for the bullies and to classify me as a nerd." Leonard replied making Naruto shake his head at Leonard REALLY needing therapy for his parental issues.
"So can you do it?" Leslie asked and Leonard thought for a moment and nodded.
"Sure, sounds great." He answered making her smile.
"Great, we rehearse on Tuesdays at your place." She informed making Leonard frown.
"Why my place?" He asked and she shrugged.
"Department of energy says the regular space is kind of a hot zone right now, best not to risk it." She explained making him nod.
"See you tonight." Leslie commented before waving and heading for her table.
"Well, she seems nice." Penny commented as she smiled at Leonard, "Have you and her..." Penny asked and Leonard was confused before widening his eyes.
"Me and Leslie? No... I mean, I had considered it once, but no, she said there's no spark between us." Leonard replied making her nod.
"That's a shame, she was looking at you with interest, at least in my opinion." Penny commented as she patted his shoulder and walked off.
"What was that?! Was that her just giving comfort or was that her giving a subtle nod to the fact that she's happy that I'm available?!" Leonard asked as Sheldon and Naruto ignored him and kept eating.
"Doesn't matter, you don't have the balls to ask her out and she's not going to ask you out, so it's moot." Naruto commented making Leonard just groan and slump his head.
Naruto just shook his head before pulling his phone out and seeing he had a text message. [Hey stud, I miss your dick. When can I come see your new apartment? I can make it worth your while.] It read from Summer before showing a picture of her laying on her bed with her ass in the air and a vibrator going off in it while she spread her pussy wide for the camera. [Also, my bosses are interested in meeting you and a few of the girls are VERY interested in meeting you too after I talked about you.] It continued. [Even if you don't want to meet at your apartment, just name the place and I'll be there dressed ANY way you want, I just really need that big dick in me again.] It ended with a kiss emoji making him smirk and shake his head.
It had been a week and a half since Mary had left for Texas and Naruto was now in his apartment and in the process of unpacking, getting his clothes, tv, and kitchen set up first since those were priority and then slowly getting everything else put up one box at a time.
He did have to still furnish the extra bedrooms, but that wasn't a priority right now.
Summer had been messaging him every few days whether updating him on what her bosses were discussing or to ask if he wanted to hook up. Naruto had taken her up on that, but hadn't taken her to his apartment yet, mostly because he was still setting things up and there wasn't much room to maneuver if you wanted to be creative while having sex.
They had met at hotel rooms, in parking lots, and some other areas with her not even blinking at fucking where he wanted or how he wanted, she just wanted to fuck.
That may have been because she was getting a little attached since she was so grateful that Naruto didn't judge her for her job, didn't treat her like a whore, and didn't mind her having other clients that she at times had intimacy with, though she did inform him that she was slowly edging some of those towards other girls instead of her since it wasn't as fun anymore.
Naruto didn't mind, but did wonder if at some point she'd try to get serious with him, but until she did, he'd just continue as usual.
He then paused as two waitresses came over with smiles and he clicked the message closed and handed them his phone, making them giggle before they entered their numbers while getting his before they giggled and went off.
"It's just not fair." Howard sighed as he shook his head and Naruto shrugged.
"Life ain't fair, move one and keep trying." Naruto replied as he drank his soup and then ate the guts before moving onto his pizza since he ate the burger already.
"That's just adding to the unfairness." Raj commented feeling jealous that Naruto could eat like that and not be overweight from it.
Naruto just shrugged since it wasn't his fault that genetics was on his side.
When everything was finished, he paid the bill and gave Penny a nice tip before standing, "Okay, I gotta get back to work, see you all later." Naruto said before waving and heading out with the others waving as well.
He then looked at his phone as he saw it was a text message from one of the waitresses.
It was a picture of the two of them raising their skirts showing they were both without panties with an offer to get an in person view at the asking.
Naruto merely smirked before shaking his head and heading out.
LATER: CALTECH
Naruto sighed as he sat back finishing a report and sent it off before the door was knocked on, "Come in." Naruto called as the door opened revealing Alex, who was smiling as she carried a file with her.
"I have that file on the equations you requested, sir." She stated as she walked up and handed him the file, making sure to bend over and give him a show down her shirt.
"Thank you, Alex." Naruto replied as he took it and looked it over.
"Sir, would you... you like to get coffee sometime." Alex asked as she stood there looking a bit nervous.
"I don't think that would be the best idea, at the moment, Alex." Naruto commented as he looked at her.
"Why not, sir? It is just coffee after all." Alex replied as she shifted there and Naruto looked at her.
"It's never just coffee, Alex, and I'm not sure that having an actual relationship with my assistant would be wise." Naruto commented knowing that fucking Alex is one thing, but getting into a relationship would be a problem later.
"I promise, it is just coffee, what could come from just having a cup of coffee?" She asked and Naruto looked at her.
LATER
"Fuck! You're so fucking big." Alex moaned as she was currently bouncing on Naruto's dick on his couch while her clothes were scattered on the floor along with Naruto's revealing her low D cup breasts and perky butt that was slapping against his lap as she bounced.
"I get that a lot." Naruto commented as he began groping her butt while sucking on her neck and tits.
"Mmmm, fuck." Alex moaned not really having expected to be fucking her boss when she first heard about the job, but she couldn't deny that it was VERY enjoyable.
Though she wasn't some airhead who had delusions that him fucking her meant that they had a real relationship.
Sex and enjoyment, nothing truly more.
She could live with that; she was working for a handsome brilliant man and one that could fuck like this easily while still being sweet and respectful of her.
She was learning, getting good pay, got to flirt with a sexy man that took her seriously, and now she was getting fucked by said man as he was stretching and fucking her pussy.
Plus, she had no doubt her boss would look over her work if she asked and he didn't mind when she gave input or suggestions on the work he was doing.
She was a physicist, but she couldn't deny that his work in Engineering, mathematics, Astronomy, and other areas was fascinating as well, which also was a turn on for her as she needed a man to be able to keep up with intelligent conversation to warrant being attracted to them.
Looks were worth shit if the guy was dumber than a sack of hammers.
She then froze as she felt herself cumming again, "Fuuuuuuck." She groaned as she collapsed on his chest weakly mewling and moaning as he grabbed her perky ass and began bouncing her on his dick as she kissed and licked along his neck and shoulder.
"You really are sensitive, aren't you?" Naruto asked amusedly as he kept making sure to switch his tempo while also going soft and then driving his dick into her core.
"Oh fuck! You've no fucking idea how long it's been. Plenty of hot guys that are either idiots, have no respect for women, or couldn't get their dick in my pussy if we had a high tech guidance system directing them." Alex groaned out making Naruto chuckle.
"Understandable, I fuck quite a few women that aren't really bachelor's level let alone PHD level intelligent, but it's just fun and stress relief than serious." Naruto commented as she nodded and moaned into him.
"Guys aren't usually interested in just that, they want repeat performances or like to think they own you somehow." Alex commented as she got her breath back from cumming and was still immensely enjoying his dick fucking her.
"I'm not most guys." Naruto countered making her smile as she kissed him.
"I got that pretty quickly." Alex commented as she began rolling her hips a bit, enjoying the slow fucking with his occasional hard thrust. "Did you enjoy that woman sucking you off the day of the welcoming party for Dr. Gablehauser?" She asked with a coy smile as Naruto merely cocked an eyebrow. "Perfume and she wasn't silent at times in her sucking, though that can be forgiven given how fucking big your dick is." She clarified before hissing as he ground himself against a sensitive spot in her pussy.
"I did warn Summer that she shouldn't go so heavy on the perfume from then on." Naruto admitted as Alex smirked and began rubbed her chest on his own, her tits weren't huge but they were bigger than Penny and Summer's.
"So, did you enjoy?" Alex asked as she ground herself against him.
"Did I enjoy her sucking my dick while her date was clueless as were others who entered my office and didn't know I had a woman that was practically naked except for her dress bunched around her waist sucking my cock as I worked? Yes. Did I enjoy taking her back to my hotel room as I waited for my apartment to be finished? Yes. Did I enjoy the fact that she practically threw her employers and friends at me to entice me? Yes. Have I enjoyed fucking her in all kinds of places since then since I wanted to get my apartment more set up first? Yes. Did I enjoy her more than I am enjoying you? Technically yes, but that's only because we're still getting started." Naruto listed making her blink at him.
"Oh? Are you planning on keeping me here for the day, sir?" Alex asked lustfully and Naruto smirked before she gasped as he flipped them and had her pinned, making her shudder as he loomed over her.
"I just might, I need to punish you for all the teasing you've done over the past couple of weeks." Naruto informed making her shudder before she moaned as he kissed her and began fucking her again, only absently noticing the couch moving at times from his thrust.
"FUCK! Geezus, you're so fucking big!" Alex moaned more as she felt him thrusting into her hard, fast, and deep.
"Again, I get that a lot, but you do know this isn't going to change things at work, right?" Naruto asked as he did slow down a little to let her think.
"I know, I didn't expect to get favors or anything from this. I mean, I was hoping for some more performances if I enjoyed it, which I can promise that I am by the way, but beyond that, I was just planning on this being fun. Not like I hadn't heard rumors of your past assistants and partners from other jobs you've had." Alex commented since there were plenty of rumors of the genius-multi talented-stud that was Naruto Namikaze being a bit of a playboy as he had, at least rumored, to have fucked all of his assistants, his research partners, a few of his bosses, some funding members, and others that he met, all female of course. It was why she was both surprised and a bit delighted to be chosen as his assistant as she assumed Siebert would pick a male after the rumors.
Then again, he wanted to make Naruto happy and eager to stay at CalTech, so he may have decided not to care about him fucking his assistant as long as he was drawing them more and more money from donators.
It paid, on both sides, to have a rockstar/celebrity of Science working at your university especially since the last college he worked at went from barely getting 5 figures in donations to getting well over 7 figures.
For her, it didn't hurt that his previous assistants all got their degrees and high paying jobs just because they could say they worked for and were mentored by Naruto.
"Just so long as we're clear that this is sex, fun, and stress relief for both of us." Naruto commented breaking Alex from her thoughts as she smiled and stuck her hand out.
"Hi, I'm Alex Jensen, I want to be a no strings sex friend with you." Alex commented, making Naruto snort before he grabbed her hand.
"Hello, I'm going to fuck you now." He responded evenly before he let go of her hand.
Alex didn't get the chance to respond as she squealed suddenly as he shifted and now was driving his cock at an angle where he was hitting a VERY nice sweet spot in her pussy.
Oh yeah, she could live with this kind of arrangement, maybe in the future they could revisit the whole relationship thing, but right now she was fine with casual sex, though there was nothing casual about the way he was fucking her, THAT was for damn sure.
She then moaned again as he leaned down and kissed her making her wrap her arms and legs around him, both to give her leverage and because she may need to hold onto him if he kept driving her towards cumming like this.
The whole time, neither of them were aware of Penny being outside his door and blushing as she heard everything.
She had come up here to see if Naruto was home after Sheldon had brought her to his and Leonard's apartment because he didn't understand what a tie on Leonard's bedroom doorknob meant.
After, amusingly for her, explaining what it meant and that Leonard was entertaining a guest of the female gender in private, she had left, though she did get another amused moment when she heard Leslie Winkle moaning very dryly that Leonard was a magnificent beast.
Now, she was stuck frozen outside of Naruto's door blushing and feeling some raging jealousy at the fact Naruto was fucking some girl that apparently worked with or for him at the university and it sounded like he had some other woman as a casual sex friend too!
She didn't know why she was feeling jealous rather than disgusted that he was essentially fucking two women at the same time and no one cared.
The fact that he was REALLY fucking hot may have had something to do with it.
The other fact that he didn't have a committed relationship with either was also another matter in his favor in this case.
Still, she felt like barging in there and showing him that she could fuck better than the other woman, but didn't.
Not only would that be weird as hell, but then a fight may start.
Instead, she left, making plans to get with Naruto or at least getting his attention on her since she was horny dammit. Plus, she was honestly wondering if a smart guy like Naruto could actually fuck as well as it sounded he could or if it was just because he was fucking someone who didn't have as much sex as she herself did.
Now she needed to go through her closet and find something sexy and hot to make Naruto pay attention to her and get a date so she could fuck too.
NEXT MORNING
Alex groaned as she sat up in bed, frowning a bit as she noticed she wasn't in her home, partly because her bed wasn't nearly as comfortable as this, and then groaned as her body was sore but it was in a VERY pleasant way. She then smiled as her mind brought up the memories of yesterday, how she had had coffee with Naruto and there was plenty of chatting and flirting before they ended up back at his place and she quickly escalated things and they fucked on the couch... and on the floor... and on his counter... and the shower... and then repeatedly on his bed. It just seemed like his stamina was ravenous in letting him go again and again and fucking her silly.
She then turned to the nightstand and saw a little cup with some pills and a tall glass of water.
She shrugged and took them before downing the water and got up with a bit of groan as she stood and stretched and simply walked out to the bathroom where she did her business and smiled a bit as she saw some toothbrushes still in the packages in a bin labeled "guest brushes" and grabbed on to brush her teeth before putting it in a holder and wrote her name on it with the items provided.
Clearly her boss had a system in place for having company over and for repeat visitors as well.
She could understand that, she certainly had every intention of coming back as often as she could to get fucked more.
Still, it was a very nice thought and touch and a point in his favor of being a gentleman, especially since he offered her what she assumed were aspirin and vitamins.
Once she finished, she came out to smelling food and her stomach immediately shouted to eat and she came to oblige. Entering the main area, she was treated to the sight of Naruto moving about the kitchen in a pair of jeans and shoes while wearing an apron.
"Morning." Naruto greeted as he moved about making her smile.
"Morning, sir." She greeted as she looked at the tall chair and Naruto nodded letting her sit down, though the cold of the wood against her butt did make her shiver a bit.
"Eggs, chicken, orange juice, and some water." Naruto informed as he put a plate down in front of her making her smile as the smell was making her mouth water.
"Everything a girl needs after a night of getting fucked silly." Alex commented and Naruto nodded as he finished up and sat down with some more food arrayed.
"That plus the vitamins and aspirin you took should help you bounce back a bit." Naruto informed, making her smile and nod as she started eating finding it to be great.
"So, I know this isn't anything serious, but was this a one-time thing or can there be repeats?" Alex asked after swallowing some food.
"We can have repeats, though can't promise it to be every day though. I do have to do work and have hobbies and such, plus if I start dating someone, I may not be as available." Naruto commented making her nod in understanding.
"Fair enough, though with how much you fucked me last night and I distinctly remember you still ready to go, do offer my services to any girlfriend you get, in order to try and wear you down at some point." Alex commented with a smirk since she could still feel the ache in her pussy from how much they had fucked, but it was SOOOO worth it, but getting that ache every day? She wasn't sure if there was a woman that could handle that kind of thing, but her respect went to any woman that at least succeeded partly at it.
"I'll keep that in mind." Naruto commented as they finished eating.
"So, time for quickie?" Alex asked with a smirk as she shook her tits at him.
"Do you think you can hold it to a quickie?" Naruto retorted making her pout.
"Damn, have to try later then." Alex commented as she got dressed, making a note to head home and get some different clothes and a real shower before going to work.
"Yup." Naruto commented as he grabbed a shirt that was on a chair and put it on before he opened the door and let Alex out and followed her before she gasped as he grabbed her and pulled her to him, making her moan as he kissed her and she quickly wrapped her arms around him and returned it before he pulled back making her pant a bit.
"Get going, I don't want to have to punish you for being late to work." Naruto stated huskily making her blush.
"Why you gotta be so mean, sir?" Alex whined since that had just ignited her libido all over again.
"Because you love it." Naruto commented as he slapped her ass and began descending down the stairs as Alex blushed and smiled before following him.
CALTECH
Naruto was in the cafeteria with his tray of food, greeting people here and there before he sat down with the guys. "Hey guys, what with Leonard looking like he thought he had a major breakthrough only to find out he did something someone else did?" Naruto asked as he saw Leonard looking down and poking at his food.
"Oh, his hook up with Leslie Winkle last night was just that, a hook up. She just wanted a wham bam thank you ma'am and now has no interest in him at all and supposedly no interest in having sex until New Year's." Howard commented making Naruto nod a bit.
"Although, word has it that he is in fact a "magnificent beast" when making love." Raj added as Naruto shrugged.
"Not gonna comment on that situation, too many variables for it." Naruto replied knowing that Lesie's reaction could either be indifferent to Leonard, damaging Leonard, or praising of Leonard.
"Ah, c'mon, you're the resident Adonis, may as well offer some input." Howard commented as Leonard groaned.
"Can we just leave it alone already?" Leonard asked and Howard and Raj looked at each other for a moment.
"No." They chorused as they turned back to him making him sigh.
"Guys, I honestly don't care much about what happened with Leslie and Leonard nor do I care if her reaction was based on his performance or not." Naruto commented making Howard and Raj look at each other in realization while Leonard groaned again.
Naruto smirked a bit, it was a simple prank, but a good start for getting back at Leonard for making the Sheldon Spiral a week and a half ago even worse than it had to be.
"What's with you though, Sheldon?" Naruto asked as Sheldon looked perturbed, or at least his version of it.
"Because, Leonard's booty call last night touched my equation board and altered the calculations I was running. If that wasn't bad enough, it fixed the issue I've been having in doing it!" Sheldon stated and Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"You mean the alteration I told you to make 4 days ago to make it work and you said you would but got distracted by the new hardware system upgrades that came out as well as the new Cryogenic Centrifugal Pump?" Naruto asked as Sheldon paused a moment and then widened his eyes and nodded.
"Right... Okay, I don't mind as much anymore since it was an adjustment I was going to make anyway." Sheldon commented as he went back to eating his food uncaring for Howard and Raj now barraging Leonard with questions on if he thought he did something to make Leslie not want to have sex for months.
"I do wish we could get some more equipment in though; it would help immensely with the research and productivity around here." Sheldon commented and Naruto shrugged.
"I'll go see Siebert and Gablehauser and see if there's any extra funding available, if not then I'll ask if there's any way to get the funding in some way." Naruto commented making Sheldon nod.
"Glad to know I can at least depend on someone around here." Sheldon commented as the three others were still wrapped up in Leonard's coitus with Leslie.
Honestly, these three were more interested in sex and gossip than Naruto was in sex and the hair salons of Texas were in gossip, and THAT was saying something.
"Hey, Dr. Namikaze." Alex greeted as she came over.
"Hey, Alex, want to sit with us?" Naruto asked as Sheldon shrugged and Alex smiled before sitting next to Naruto.
"What's going with them?" Alex asked as she looked at the other three that were still going back and forth, though Sheldon and Naruto noted that Raj was still speaking normally, meaning he didn't know that Alex was there yet.
"Oh, Leonard had a one night stand with Leslie Winkle and thought it was more than that, now Leslie has shot him down and gone as far as to inform him that she's good on sex until New Years." Naruto answered making Alex blink.
"So, was he that bad at sex or was he that good or is Leslie just one of those practical people that has sex at times to sate her needs and focus better?" Alex asked and Naruto shrugged.
"That's the question at the moment, though from I know of Leonard's history, Howard and Raj are assuming the former or the latter with the middle being too low a chance to be considered." Naruto answered making her nod.
"Well, he is cute enough to get attention at times, and he's smart enough to have that go for him, but I guess sex is a deal breaker for quite a few people." Alex commented making Naruto nod.
"So, Alex, have you had coitus with Naruto yet?" Sheldon asked making Alex choke on the bite of her food. "You know you should be much more careful when eating." Sheldon commented offhandedly as he ate his own food.
"Why would you say that?" Alex asked as she managed to get the food down and compose herself.
"You're a female and are around Naruto, who is like a bright attractive flame and you're a moth that can't resist getting to it as much as possible." Sheldon commented evenly.
"Yeah, last night, actually." Naruto commented as he took a bite of his sandwich.
Alex blushed at his casual admittance and Sheldon nodded.
"I see, well hopefully you can have fun and can still do your work." Sheldon commented as he kept eating making Alex look between the two in bafflement at their casual talk of her having sex with her boss, but decided that when in Rome and all that and began eating her food.
This was not exactly how she pictured her job going nor how her having sex with her boss to go, but she wasn't complaining and now she got to talk to Sheldon Cooper about physics as well.
Things were going great in her opinion.
COUPLE DAYS LATER
Naruto sat as he ate his second order of Chinese food as he hung out with the guys and Penny as they were talking about different things, though Penny was wearing a tube top and leggings while having some light make up on. She also kept brushing against him and batting her eyelashes at him while making a show of flaunting her body at him.
Clearly she was getting more and more interested in him, though he'd not overtly reacted to it but knew she was nearing the end of her rope on getting his attention.
Still, he wasn't reacting, just like he hadn't to Summer, Alex, or any woman really.
He always let the girls act first, unless he was pursuing a girl for a bet or pay back, not that the girls minded much afterwards.
"Sheldon, since when do you read Men's Weekly?" Penny asked seeing the magazine on the table.
"I've always read it, I find it very interesting in some areas, especially how easily they con other males into believing that having a specific cologne will suddenly make a woman desire them like they were in heat and the man is the only male left to please them in the world." Sheldon stated making Howard grumble a bit since he was one of said males that tried literally ANYTHING that could make women want him.
"Although, that does remind me that I had a question." Sheldon stated as he grabbed magazine from the table.
"Naruto, can I ask why you're posing in a thong for men's deodorant?" Sheldon asked showing a part of the magazine that showed Naruto nearly nude as he holds the deodorant in question up.
"Oh, President Seibert said that if I could come up with the money, then I could get the new electron microscope, laser grid, and advanced computer boards for the research areas. I didn't have time to drive or fly down to Vegas, so I decided using sex appeal was the way to go for quick cash." Naruto stated as he ate some sweet and sour pork.
"Oh, any chance we can get a cryogenic centrifugal pump?" Sheldon asked and Naruto smirked.
"Already got two coming in, one in Batman Black and the other in Flash Red." Naruto stated making Sheldon grin and high-five him.
"That's my guy." Sheldon stated with a grin thinking of all the fun he can have in the lab now.
"Any chance I could have that." Penny asked pointing to the magazine and Sheldon shrugged before quickly opening it and flipping a few pages.
"Here, you'll probably like this angle better." Sheldon stated showing that it was a full frontal next to a back view of Naruto making Penny blink before she leaned over to Raj.
"Remind me to get Sheldon like 40 trains for the coming gift days." Penny stated as she quickly grabbed the Magazine and left the apartment.
"Where'd she go off to?" Leonard asked and Naruto shook his head.
"Private female time." Naruto stated as he kept eating while mentally glad he had gotten Sheldon a series of books to help him understand intimacy better.
"Oh, hope she's okay." Leonard stated making Naruto look at him incredulously before shaking his head and going back to eating, if Leonard wanted to have his head in the sand, Naruto wasn't going to yank it out.
"And people say I'm oblivious." Sheldon stated making Howard nod while wondering if Leonard was just in his own little world where he didn't see that Penny clearly saw Naruto as sex on legs and would jump into bed with him at the asking.
"Anyway, the equipment should be in within a couple weeks and I still have money left over from the modeling job. The Magazine also wants to offer me some other jobs since their sales shot up along with the deodorant after my picture was released." Naruto added as he ate, showing that sex really did make anything sell if it was done right.
"Any chance I could get you to get the engineering department upgraded next? There's quite a few tools and equipment that could help." Howard commented making Naruto shrug.
"Sure, did those design ideas I offered work out?" Naruto asked and Howard smiled and nodded.
"Yup! Worked great, pushed the project forward a lot and even got me a bonus too with some extra perks." Howard stated as his career was going better than ever now.
"That's good, how are you doing talking to girls, Raj?" Naruto asked and Raj shrugged.
"I still stutter pretty bad, but I at least can speak rather than seeming like some muted weird dude." Raj answered as he ate some cashew chicken.
"Now you just seem like a stuttering weird dude." Howard commented making Raj just look at him.
"Better than a short weird dude that needs a gimmick constantly." Sheldon retorted as Howard just looked at him and Raj smirked.
"Would you like some aloe vera for that burn?" Raj asked as Howard scoffed at him and kept eating his food.
Eventually, they had finished eating and Naruto was heading out when Penny's door opened and she was there in a robe, "Hey, Naruto, could you come in here and help me for a minute?" She asked and Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"Sure, though just for a minute." Naruto stated as he entered her apartment, seeing it was a bit small/cozy, but not overly cramped either.
"So, what did you need?" He asked before he turned and saw her dropping her robe and showing she was in black lacy thong and a bra that accentuated her curves and perked up her CC cup breasts.
"I need you to fuck me, just like you did that girl." Penny stated as she pushed him onto her couch.
She then straddled his lap and pressed against his chest, "I'm done with the subtle things, now I'm getting what I want." Penny commented as Naruto nodded.
"That's fine, I figured you found me desirable, I just don't do anything unless the woman initiates. Well, except a few times that I got with some girls as part of a bet or to get payback on some bullies and assholes." Naruto commented making her smirk.
"If I had known that, you'd have been fucking me for over a week now." Penny stated before she gasped and then moaned as Naruto pulled her to him and kissed her as she wrapped her arms around him and began grinding on his lap.
Naruto's hands moved and cupped her firm but slightly jiggly butt, while his other held her head and she ran her hands over his shirt covered chest.
Penny then broke the kiss and began pulling at his shirt while kissing and sucking his neck and shoulder. "Guess we'll just have to make up for lost time." Naruto commented as he slapped Penny's ass making her gasp and sit straight before he kissed her again and pressed her down on his crotch.
He did break the kiss to let her pull his shirt off before she moaned as he began kissing at her chest, licking and kissing all along her tits that were exposed and her chest making her shiver as his hot breath contrasted against the cool air hitting his saliva.
"Oh fuck." Penny moaned feeling more from just this than she did from a lot of the sex she had with guys.
Naruto then undid her bra and she tossed it away, loving how he pressed his face into her tits and was still licking and kissing all over her breasts, though he wasn't getting to her sensitive nipples or areola and it was making her wiggle in place in need.
She then gasped again as his hand slapped her ass again and it sent sparks through her body as his other hand came and slapped it before both started kneading and groping her ass making her moan more as she ground against his clothed erection making her pant for more feeling and pleasure.
She then gasped again as he began to lick at her nipples and areolas while his hands got rougher with her ass making her press her covered mound against his clothed erection even harder. She then moaned loudly as he sucked on her nipples and even rolled them with his teeth causing her to hold back a scream as pleasure shot through her.
She then pulled back and kissed him again as she worked to undo his pants, which he helped with as he lifted his hips and she gasped as she felt his erection pressing against her panties before he moved and began rubbing his dick between her perky ass cheeks.
"Holy shit." She said as she looked at his dick, now understanding why that girl was screaming and moaning so much that night.
"I get that quite a bit." Naruto commented before she slid off his lap, pushing her coffee table away as she did, before sitting on her knees before him and began licking his dick while fondling his balls.
"Thought you wanted to fuck?" Naruto asked as Penny began kissing along his dick.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate how your dick tastes and feels." Penny replied as she began sucking on the head.
"Fair enough, but are you so certain that this won't happen again?" Naruto asked making her smirk as she kissed his dick more.
"Not sure yet, it will depend on how well you fuck me." She retorted with a smile making Naruto smirk before she gasped as he pulled her up and pulled her thong off.
She then moaned as he began rubbing her pussy against his dick, "So, want to ride me here or should I carry you to the bed and fuck you there?" Naruto asked as he kept grinding against her making her bite her lip.
"Let me ride you." Penny groaned before he nodded and moved her before she groaned even louder as he began filling and stretching her.
She then moaned as he bottomed out and her butt hit his thighs and balls.
"There we go, all nice and snug." Naruto hissed as he felt her squeezing his dick tightly.
"Damn it, how the fuck can you be both a nerd and a fucking stud?!" She shouted as she began bouncing on his dick.
"Good genes and dedication, I suppose." Naruto commented as he began to lick and suck on her neck and breasts making her moan more.
"Lucky you." Penny commented as she began bouncing more making her breasts jiggle and shake more as her butt slapped against his thighs again and again.
"Lucky you." Naruto commented as he held onto her ass and played with it before Penny pulled him into a kiss and happily began entwining his tongue with hers.
"So, how am I ranking so far?" Naruto asked teasingly as he slapped her ass making her squeal as her pussy clenched around his dick again.
"Not too bad so far, we'll see how you do after this." Penny stated as she panted and bounced more and more.
Eventually, she couldn't take it and screamed out as she came with Naruto grunting as he filled her as well making her shiver and shake.
She made a mental note to take something later to ensure she didn't get pregnant.
She then gasped as he lifted her and stood before carrying her to her bedroom.
"You're ready to go already?!" She asked in shock as Naruto smirked.
"You'll find I'm full of surprises." Naruto commented as he dropped her on the bed and then flipped her over before he entered her again making her scream in surprise as he began fucking her hard and rough from behind while holding her hair and her tits as leverage.
"Now, I'll repay you for all the teasing you've been doing for the past couple of weeks." Naruto growled into her ear making her pussy clench.
"I was just trying to-MMPH!" Penny tried to justify herself before Naruto kissed her and pinned her to the bed as he fucked her making her moan more.
She was starting to wonder if maybe teasing and trying to get his attention was the best idea now.
Well, she was certainly going to get what she wanted now, though perhaps more than she had bargained for.
NEXT MORNING
"I'm just saying, Batman seems to be very underrated among the heroes of the DC universe compared to others that while impressive aren't as strong as they could be with Batman's potential." Sheldon commented as he and Leonard left the apartment with Raj and Howard having met them there.
"I'm sorry, for the noise, sir, we'll be more careful from now on." Naruto said as the manager was at Penny's apartment.
"It's no trouble, son, I was young once too and miss Teller is quite the looker. Just try to be mindful of the other tenants in the future." The manager laughed making him nod.
"Will do sir." Naruto commented as the manager left while waving to the others before Penny came out in a robe, though it was clear based on how loose it was that she wasn't wearing a bra, while holding a cup of coffee while her hair was disheveled and it looked like she had a bit of a wild night.
"See you later?" Penny asked and Naruto smirked.
"If you're lucky." Naruto replied making her scoff and roll her eyes before she kissed him and waved him off.
However, she jumped as he slapped her ass before waving to Sheldon and the guys as he climbed the stairs.
"Morning guys." Penny stated as she smiled at them and went inside her apartment as the guys just stared while Leonard was numb.
"Are we going to the comic book store or what?" Sheldon asked not seeing what the problem was.
"Yeah, come on, let's go." Howard commented as he and Raj guided Leonard down the stairs as Sheldon sighed knowing that Leonard was going into his "emo" phase where he'd listen to depressing music and long for some stupid form of companionship like that of a cat or something.
Ah well, if it got too annoying he could see if Naruto would let him stay for a couple days until he eventually got out of the funk he was in and started being rational again.
Though last time that it happened, it took a week to snap out of it, not counting when Leonard last pined for Penny like this.
LATER
"I can see why he's your best friend, Sheldon, Naruto's awesome. He knows so much and is helping me be able to talk to girls without issues." Raj stated enthusiastically as they entered the Stuart's Comic Book Store.
"I know right, he's even given me some suggestions on how to reinforce and improve a few of the designs I've been working on, it will bump up my career even faster than NASA can send rockets." Howard stated gleefully, though he was a bit bummed that Naruto seemed to have an even better game than he did, which really was near nonexistent beyond having to lie repeatedly, but he was still a cool dude.
"Yeah, he helped get me into a couple drug programs. I've slept peacefully, I feel good, and I've not considered taking my bed sheets and tying them into a noose in a month." Stuart stated making the guys just look at him in concern.
"He's not that great." Leonard stated making Sheldon scoff.
"Please, you're just upset because he had coitus with Penny." Sheldon stated finding the idea laughable that anyone that was his best friend couldn't be amazing let alone great.
"No, he didn't." Leonard groaned as he flicked through the comics.
"Dude, he stayed the night at her place, the neighbors made a complaint against thumping wall and moaning noises, he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and Penny had the glow and smile that Cosmo states are signs of a woman who was immensely satisfied." Raj stated making Leonard sigh and hang his head.
"Yeah, face it man, Naruto is the stud of this group and got to tap that fine Nebraska babe before either of the three of us did." Howard stated since there was no point denying it unless one wanted to seem petty or overly desperate.
"Yes, it was the same back in Texas, as soon as Naruto was 16, pretty much any girl 15 or older was willing to jump him at the asking, it only got worse when he was 18." Sheldon stated as he looked through the comics, though the poor guy never connected why his sister and mother had disappeared for a few hours on Naruto's birthdays at one point.
"Yeah, really should take him out some time to be a wingman, him giving endorsement for any of us would likely get many chicks flocking to us." Howard commented knowing that having Naruto as a wingman would likely mean a 100% success rate in getting hot women.
"Yeah, I hope that maybe a few more talks with him and I won't stutter so badly." Raj commented since stuttering was still a bit of an issue, but it was better than being mute.
"Can we just stop talking about this?" Leonard sighed as he flipped through the comics.
"Talking about what?" Naruto asked as he came over in different clothes.
"About how you and Penny had coitus last night and Leonard is in denial about it." Sheldon commented as Leonard groaned and hung his head.
"Oh, yeah, she grabbed me when I was leaving last night and I spent the night." Naruto admitted as he began browsing the shop for more collectibles and items that could fit into his own collection or that were missing from said collection.
Leonard just sighed and moved away, "Don't mind him, he seems to be under the impression that because he pines for Penny and is a nice guy to her, that he has dibs on getting a date with her before anyone else." Howard commented making Naruto shake his head as he kept browsing.
"And Sheldon, to your statement this morning, Batman is the most dangerous hero when given prep time. In the heat of the moment, he's not the most dangerous, but give him some prep time and he'll break damn near anyone he fights." Naruto commented as he recalled Sheldon's comment as they came out.
"I suppose that is fair, Batman can have a series of gadgets and plans stored, but unless he knows they'll work or that he can and should use them against his opponent, they won't work or be ready to be used." Sheldon replied knowing that just because Batman had something he could use didn't mean he'd have it on him or immediate access to it during the fight he was having.
He'd have to know about the fight in order to have the items ready to be of use.
"Makes you wonder what would happen if he fought people from other universes." Howard commented and Naruto shrugged.
"Most from the Marvel universe would be able to handle him given that he won't kill and they will, several of them are destroy the area type fighters, and they're much harder to pin down as a one trick to defeat them type." Naruto commented making them nod since there wasn't much of a weakness to take advantage of for Iron Man, Thor, and some others since Iron Man's tech kind of surpassed all that Batman had access to.
That wasn't even counting if Iron Man was using a vibranium or Adamantium made suit.
Though if Batman was part of the Marvel Universe then the matter would be different.
"Yeah, Batman can handle a lot of things, but usually it's because he's prepped for what he believes he needs to be prepped for, it's why Bane was able to break his back since he wasn't ready for that kind of strength or brutality." Stuart commented making them nod.
"And why the Court of Owls was able to get the best of him as he hadn't faced someone that could use his own methods against him to such a degree." Naruto added knowing that Batman hadn't been terrorized before but the Court of Owls had done just that to a point even Scarecrow hadn't been able to do.
"True, still, once he had the Justice League fully formed, he had to have contingencies built for them all." Sheldon commented and Naruto nodded.
"Yup, but he can't account for the likes of Darkseid, Doomsday, and some others until the league built him the Hellbat armor, even then he was limited in using it as it took such a toll on his body. Even then, the gods and Wonder Woman were astounded he could use it as long as he did without negative effects." Naruto replied knowing that Batman was a mortal man, but he was beyond other mortal men as he survived things and handled events that would have crippled other people through sheer willpower and determination.
"That is true. Shows that determination could make up for a great deal of things." Sheldon commented making Naruto nod his head.
"Aggression, properly channeled can make up for a number of flaws, but to reach that point it requires peeling back several layers of oneself to get to a core that many don't realize they have." Naruto commented idly as he grabbed a couple things.
"So what about Hawkeye vs Green Arrow?" Howard asked setting off another conversation that they all took part in while Leonard was still moping in the corner.
Naruto didn't care much; he did feel bad for the guy, but Leonard had months to ask Penny out and make her see him as potential lover material and had been failing.
He'd get over it, maybe if he lightened up a bit Naruto could hook him up with some platonic friends of his since they could use someone stable and intelligent in their lives.
Ah well, that was for later, right now he had a conversation to join and various collectibles to check out for his own.
DONE!
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