Sooo sorry this chapter took so long to come up! I've been very sick lately and it sucks so much. But on the bright side it gives me better details about how to express sickness. I have a plan for a storyline, I'm just not sure on the ending. I can see it going either sad or happy. I guess I'll have to wait and see when the times comes, how to end it. I also haven't read what I have already wrote, so I'm having a tad bit of trouble remembering some things. Plus not too proud of this chapter
" Barry, you keep pushing yourself. And now look what happened!" Cait barked angrily.
" I know, I just couldn't stay in my apartment any longer. I'm sorry,"
" You should be telling yourself sorry, Barry. Your heart is badly damaged. Just walking to the CCPD would've thrown the whole progress of your healing off, and now it has. Your heart is failing Barry." Cait sat down in defeat. She felt like she doesn't know how to help him anymore, like she lost her special touch.
" It's failing?"
" Barry, listen. I don't know everything about you and your body, so I can't say for certain that this will last forever, or," she paused," will end badly. But I do know that your metabolism has slowed gerastically, almost to a regular humans' and it's not good"
" How do we fix it?" Barry asked wiping a tear from his red eyes.
" I don't know if we can Barry. For average people, they have to get a heart transplant, but in your case, you'd need a speedster heart. I don't think anyone would be willing to give that up. Unless we take your speed away," Cait slowed down her words at the realization.
" No way Cait, I don't know who I am without it. There has to be another way," Barry begged.
" Barry, the only way I know to fix this is to get you a new heart. I can't do that if you have speed. The new heart would fail instantly, and you'd die. I'm not willing to let that happen." Cait said walking off to grab something. Barry wanted to yell at her and tell her to stop, but the words wouldn't come out. His brain was screaming, but his mouth couldn't move.
She came back with a gun looking thing.
" This will extract your speed and it will be held in this glass tube. It'll be fast, and over within seconds," Cait said holding up a cylinder.
Barry wiped more tears away. He didn't want to lose his speed. The Flash was who he was. But the more he thought about it, the more he thought not. He used his speed badly, then he messed everyone and everything up. Maybe getting rid of The Flash wouldn't be a bad thing after all.
The other thing he though of, was why Caitlin had the speed extracter on hand. Had they planned on taking his speed? Did they want that part of him gone? He tried to stop thinking about that and get back to the real problem on hand.
Barry nodded cautiously and Cait put the gun looking think on his neck.
Barry slightly flinched but closed his eyes.
" You ready?" She asked quietly.
He nodded and she pulled the trigger. It hurt, like someone was trying to rip his soul out. It felt like someone had stuck their hand down his throat and was ripping his heart out. Only a few more seconds of torture and the pain stopped.
" Finished," Cait said putting down the machine thing. Orange lightning could be seen flickering around in the tube. That little bolt of lightning gave him these amazing abilities. It was so small, but yet so big in his life. It seemed so small, almost like it was worth nothing.
He was worth nothing.
" Your vitals are already better. Having speed seemed to have the opposite effect on you than it should have." She whispered. She didn't know how to calm him down, tell him that everything will be alright. She lost every bit of courage she had to talk to him. She felt like she was that one kid in the class that knew everything. Algebra, Calculus, Physics, History, everything, then one day it's like a fog engolfed every ounce of knowledge that you had ecumulated over the years, and it all just gets lost. You forget how to multiply, you forget what time was like before you, you forget that you know how to solve equations, and you don't know how to get back the knowledge. She didn't know how to tell him that she still loves him, that he still has a life here. That maybe even if times here are dreppressing and he can't seem to breathe, she is here. He needs to know that she is here. Barry can't do this alone, he is slowly sinking into the deep hole he can't seem to stop digging. He just keeps digging without realizing he forgot to bring a latter. He is stuck and there is no way out, but there must always be a way. Caitlin knew there had to be a way for him. She just can't find the words. In her large and smart brain, she can't find the right words.
" So what do I do now? Do I just sit here and die, or what?" Barry gritted out.
" Barry, you're not going to die. I'm coming up with something what should help okay? If I start working now, it could be done by tomorrow morning." With those last words Caitlin left and went to her workshop.
It was only 2 pm and he was officially dying. His shoulders shook from the cold air. Was it cold, or was it just him? It must be him. He sat there and twiddled his thumbs. That eventually got super boring so he went through a whole episode of The Walking Dead that he has memorized. That took him about 20 minutes.
He was bored, so, so bored. Eventually he fell asleep at 5 and didn't wake up till 8 in the morning. Even though he had 16 hours of sleep, he was still hella tired. This whole dying thing wasn't very fun. It took up way more energy that he would have thought.
He awoke to find Caitlin in the glass room next door and she was typing madly on her computer. She seemed stressed. It made him feel worse knowing that she had no clue on what to do. Maybe this was a bigger version of karma. It had to be. When has a panic attack ever brought this on him? He has had hundreds in his life time, never before have they nearly killed him. The one time he does something terribly wrong, he nearly dies.
Caitlin came into the room with a small, silver square box looking thing. It had tubes coming out of it, very skinny. She walked over to him, ignoring the fact that he was awake. She check his vitals and brought over medical supplies. There were so many things, he was getting almost scared. Everything around him was overwhelming.
" I've made this device that I'll have to surgically put in. These tubes will deliver medicine to your heart at a constant drip, and that should keep your heart going. It's like oil to gears. Then this metal part should help keep it stimulated"
" Is it a permanent fix?" Barry asked. He hoped not, he didn't want that thing in his chest forever. He wanted life to go back to the way it had been.
" It might be, but I can't know for certain. Really, it will only give you more time. I'll have to start looking for a transplant heart. Even then, you wouldn't be able to have your speed back," She frowned. She hates to give him bad news. He looks so sad that it breaks her heart. One day he is healthy, the next he is stuck in a bed with heart failure.
Barry only replied with a nod.
" I know this sucks Barry. At least with this thing you can work and live your life pretty normally while I get you a heart. Now it won't last forever, but I think it will really help."
" When are you gonna put it in?" Barry asked nervously.
" I can right now, but you'll have to be under anesthesia. And don't worry, no one is coming until tomorrow evening." Cait reassured not only him but herself.
" So how exactly does this work?" Barry stalled.
" Well the small box will stay on the outside of your skin and go to the right of your heart. The tubes will connect to the heart and pump meds. I know it sounds like a really big operation, but it's really not," Cait smiled at Barry and put her hand on his shoulder.
" It'll all be okay Barry,"
" I know, lets just get it over with," Barry tried to smile.
" Okay," Cait whispered. She grabbed a mask and put it over his face. He look two large breaths and started to feel tired. His eyes drifted shut and his breathing stopped. Caitlin hurried and intubated him so he could breath, then she got to work.
Finally Barry had peace. The darkness was a haven, no one judged you here, or hurt you. It was just simply amazing. He had a dream. His mother and father were sitting on their porch laughing. The sun was heating the whole place up, making it bright. The pleasant scene was interrupted by a blue flash of lightning. It looked like a speedster, but with blue lightning trailing behind. The thing came up to his mother in a clad of armor and stabbed her in the heart. He could almost feel the long blade slice through her skin. His father was left to cry and hold his dead wife. Then it all went black again.
It only took 3 hours from the first cut, to the last stitch to finish. Caitlin took a deep breathe and sat down. She wasn't used to doing procedures like that. Good thing his vitals were steady for the most part. She wouldn't have known what to do if Barry had flatlined or anything. She couldn't be the one to kill Barry. Out of eveything that he had been put up against, this shouldn't be the thing to make him go down.
Barry could feel a little pain in his chest, but didn't think much of it. Darkness engolfed him like a warm pillow. After a few minutes he realized that he wasn't breathing, but he was fine. Very weird sensation at first. His eyes popped open and he started to choke on the tube in his throat. His heart monitor started to beep ravenously.
Cait ran over to him and tried to calm him down.
" Barry calm down, let the breathing tube do it's job." She said while rubbing his hair.
Barry squeezed his watering eyes shut and stopped trying to struggle against the tube. It felt like he couldn't breathe, but he knew it was all an illusion. He was fine.
I'm fine
His heart slowed and Cait started to take the tube out. Barry gaged and coughed once it was pulled out. His throat was on fire. Caitlin grabbed him some water and made him drink it. That was the best thing he had ever tasted. The back of his throat felt like a cracked desert plain. The water soothed it as it slowly made its way down his throat over and over again.
He got checkd over by Caitlin and to his surprise she sat down next to him. This was the most intamate he has been with someone for weeks.
" I know we all agreed that we didn't want to know what our previous lives were like, but I want to know. Is anything different about me?"
Barry shook his head.
" Out of everyone, you were probably the least effected, if you are at all." Barry smiled. He didn't know what else to say. She was, Caitlin. Caitlin never changed.
Relief that Barry didn't see swept off Cait's face. She has been feeling different lately, almost cold. She couldn't put her finger on it though.
" When can I go home?" Barry asked shifting in the bed.
" I wouldn't like for you to go until next week if it were up to me. Last time I let you go home you didn't take it well."
Barry couldn't argue that.
" If I stay here, everyone will find out though," Barry wined like a child. A surprising cute child.
" They don't have to know the full extent. I can just say there was some strange vitals after a run and I wanted to check it out."
" Yeah, okay." Barry said while laying back down. He was exhausted. He fell back asleep and slept until the middle of the night. He woke up to the cortex dark and nearly silent. His heart monitor was quietly tracking his heart rate, leaving a quiet beep every second. His mind felt almost blank. He finally wasn't thinking about flashpoint or even who had been effected by it. Instead of the scary and depressed memories he'd been previously thinking about, he tried to think about the good ones. Him and Iris laughing at the stupidest things, family dinners all together, The Flash saving the day.
He has so many good memories, but sometimes they just couldn't outweigh the bad ones. He spend the rest of the night and early morning just thinking. He has had a lot on his mind. It felt good to thing all the different problems through. By morning, he was exhausted again.
He didn't want to sleep though, he felt like he missed too much when he sleeped.
Although the lack of sleep caught up to him he slept for a while. Much of the day was spend being asleep, or binge watching Netflix.
Later on he realized that today is the day team flash comes in and talks about a new case. It was first brought up a couple days ago, but Diggle and Oliver told them about it over the phone. Something to do with aliens or whatever. Barry hasn't been able to focas on a lot of that stuff lately. It's like his mind has been glazed over and all the important stuff has been tucked under a temporary blanket. One which has yet to have been lifted.
Before anyone showed up, Barry made sure to change into a STAR Labs sweatshirt. Caitlin gave him a heart monitor that could just clip to his pants so no wires were showing. He wasn't allowed to really walk around and do much. But what would be do anyway? Dance like Mary freaking Popins?
He decided the best thing to do was sit on the stool and nod to what the team said. He'd keep his mouth mostly shut and not interrupt what everyone said.
While thinking to himself, he could barely hear the first person walk in. It was Joe. Joe looked anywhere but at Barry, making him look kinda awkward. Next was Cisco, Iris, Wally, Oliver, then Diggle. No one wanted to talk first so Dig started the case out by popping up a picture of what looked like a space ship.
" This landed about 20 miles away about 3 days ago. ARGUS has been looking into these occurrences, but this time it's more differen't. What we call the Invaters, little alien people, have been trying to make contact. But since the whole experience all we've only gotten small snit bits of weird sounds. Recently, we haven't gotten peace notions, more like let's fight. So we thought that maybe Team Flash could help us out and stop the Invaters before they, well, Invade."
Diggle looked at Barry, asking.
Barry didn't know what to say. He doesn't even have his speed anymore. But of course no one knew that.
" Look," he started out slowly," I don't think that I can-" before he could finish Cisco budded in.
" See, Barry here hasn't been that helpful lately. He decided that he'd take in upon himself and change the timeline so that he could save his own family, while he left mine to rot. Oh and did I mention that you had a daughter?" Cisco laughed coldly while pointing to Diggle.
" And that he ruined Joe and Iris' relationship, he killed by brother, and god knows what else he has done. He can't be trusted, this man won't help you, me, or anyone because he is selfish!" Cisco yelled before leaving the cortex.
Diggle looked stunned. He looked like he lost the one most important thing to him, and maybe he has.
" You erased a daughter from my life! Where in your right mind would you ever think that that's okay?!" Diggle was so mad that he too left the room before he beat the brains out of Barry.
Could they ever get a full conversation in before someone yelled at him? Apparently not. Everyone else quietly left except for Oliver. He just stood there, thinking.
After a few minutes he broke the silence.
" Would you like to tell me your side of this jumbled story?" Oliver asked calmly.
" What's the point?"
" C'mon just tell me what happened." This was weird to Barry. Oliver Queen was asking him about his feelings. Kinda made him want to laugh. If it wasn't for the context of the situation he would've.
" Well where do I start," he sighed." Um, well my dad died and I was sitting on the steps of Joe's house and I just couldn't take the thought of my parents being dead any longer. So I ended up stopping the Reverse flash from killing my mom. That created a new timeline called flashpoint. There, everything is different. I had my parents, Caitlin had a job and a family, Wally had powers and was The Flash so I didn't have to be, Cisco was a billionaire Iris was happy, and Joe. Well Joe could do better, but everyone was happy, I was happy."
" So they what made you come back?" Oliver asked, confused.
Barry sighed and kept going.
" I started to forget things. I'd be thinking about a memory or a person and it'd just leave my mind. Gone. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it back. I was being so ignorant, Thawne told me that the more I used my speed, the more I'd lose who I was. I'd forget that I was The Flash, and I'd be stuck there. I realized that what I had done was wrong, and, and stupid. I can't believe I did his done!" Barry was getting really upset now. Tears were making their way down his red face.
" I had to beg him, Oliver! I had to beg Thawne to kill her... Then to make things worse, everybody changed! I messed it all up!" Barry tangent stopped and he slumped in on himself. His face was soaked in tears and his breathing was ridged.
Oliver did something he rarely ever did. He came closer to Barry and hugged the broken man. He hushed and calmed Barry down. It took a while, but soon the flow of tears stopped.
" I'm sorry," Barry said more sternly while wiping his face.
" I don't blame you,"
" What!?" This shocked him. Out of all of the people who are mad and disappointed, how could Oliver not be?
" Any person who was in your situation would have done the same thing."
Barry thought about it. Oliver was probably right, but that still didn't get rid of he fact that he still did it.
" We just have to get the others to believe that too," Oliver smiled slowly and softly.
I know this chapter sucks, but any suggestions you guys have will really help to not make it suck. I haven't written in forever, so I kinda forgot where I was going.