"What did Malfoy want?" Ginny asked Hermione as she sat down at the Gryffindor table just in time to grab some food before the lunch period ended.
Hermione looked around. No one was sitting near them. As Hermione had entered, the other students Ginny had been eating with had gotten up to leave, having finished their meal. Ginny had decided to wait for Hermione. The table was relatively empty as the lunch period was almost over.
Quickly, Hermione grabbed some items from the center of the table before they vanished. It had happened to her several times in the past. She'd spent too long in the library studying or working on a project before rushing to the Great Hall to get food, only to arrive at the table and watch the food vanish before her eyes. Sure enough, right as Hermione finished putting a piece of fruit on her plate, the food vanished from right in front of her.
"Just made it," she sighed, taking a bite of her sandwich. She looked up at Ginny, chewing thoughtfully. "You know," she said, once she swallowed. "I really don't know what he wanted."
"What?" Ginny asked, perplexed. "How come? You didn't talk about it?"
"Not for a lack of trying," Hermione said. "I asked him several times what he wanted, but he evaded me. He said, 'can't we just have a normal conversation?'"
"No," Ginny said, stunned. "After everything he's done to us?"
"That's what I said!" Hermione said, taking another bite of her sandwich. "And do you know what he said to that?"
"What?" Ginny asked.
"He said, 'I've been a right little shit to you," Hermione replied, still shocked at those words.
"Whaaaaaat?" Ginny said, a look of absolute shock and surprise crossing her face. "You're pulling my leg."
"No, I'm not!" Hermione said. "That's literally what he said."
"I'm so confused right now," Ginny said, the confusion evident in her tone of voice.
"You and me both," Hermione replied, continuing her meal. "I really don't know what to make of it."
"What else did you talk about?" Ginny asked.
"Nothing substantial," Hermione said. "He insulted Ron and I told him that he wasn't doing a good job having a normal conversation with me because he was making me angry. And he said that he maybe he liked seeing me angry."
Ginny had paled when Hermione mentioned Ron's name. "I have so many things I could say about that but, Hermione, Ron!" Ginny said. "Have you written Ron yet?"
Hermione sighed. "No," she replied. "I was starting a letter when Malfoy showed up, but I don't know what to say to him."
Ginny nodded sympathetically. "I understand," she said. "But he better hear about it from you."
"I know," Hermione said. "He will."
Hermione suspected that Ginny didn't quite understand all her reasons for being hesitant to write Ron just now.
"Hogsmeade is the following weekend," Ginny said. "We'll get to see both him and Harry. You can make things right then."
"Maybe so," said Hermione. "But I get the feeling it might not be so simple."
Ginny looked at Hermione questioningly. "What do you mean?"
Hermione polished off the rest of her food. "Look, I better get going to Ancient Runes if I'm not going to be late," Hermione said. "I'm still sorting out all of my feelings."
"You're not going to break up with him are you?" Ginny asked, emotion coming into her voice.
"I don't know," Hermione said, honestly. "I need time to figure things out."
"He deserves to know the truth," Ginny said, a note of warning in her voice.
"I'll write to him," Hermione promised. "I'll at least tell him I'm back. I better go."
Ginny narrowed her eyes at Hermione but said nothing as Hermione got up from the table and left the Great Hall.
As Hermione made her way to the Ancient Runes classroom, she felt bad about her conversation with Ginny. The Weasley family were all very close and loyal to each other. Ron was the brother closest in age to Ginny, who loved and cared for him. Even though they annoyed each other frequently. Would Ginny understand if Hermione did break up with Ron?
Hermione didn't know what she wanted to do. She'd wanted to be with Ron for so long. Or she thought she had.
Hermione had started developing feelings for Ron ever since their 4th year and had realized she fancied him when he talked about Yule Ball dates and never considered inviting her. Until he'd notoriously said, "You're a girl, Hermione," when it apparently dawned on him he could invite her.
Ron had considered inviting Hermione as a last resort, when he couldn't figure out anyone else better to invite. When he failed to invite Fleur Delacour. Who, ironically, married Ron's eldest brother a few years later. Ron only considered inviting Hermione because he didn't want the shame of going to the Yule Ball alone.
But Viktor Krum had noticed she was a girl. For a time, Hermione tried to forget about Ron and simply enjoy the attention Viktor gave her. And she enjoyed being with Viktor. He was strong, dark, and mysterious. He was very much a man who knew what he wanted. And he'd wanted Hermione. There was no pretending or playing around with feelings with Viktor.
When it was time for Viktor to leave Hogwarts after the tournament ended, she kept in contact with him, but she refused to commit to any kind of formal relationship with him. She didn't want to do long distance. And, she thought, maybe Ron would come to his senses.
Yet almost 3 years went by and Ron never asked Hermione out. Ron let Lavender Brown come between him and Hermione, which hurt her deeply. Even when they did get together, it had been Hermione to make the first move. She'd kissed Ron first.
Hermione liked that Viktor had been the one to initiate things. It felt right to her. Ron liked to talk but he took a long time, if ever, to act.
Yes, she realized. That's something she found frustrating about Ron. She'd never quite realized it before.
Perhaps what she'd loved all these years was a fantasy Ron and not the real Ron.
What she needed, was time to sort things out. She needed to sort out her feelings about the war, the aftermath, and Ron. Hermione needed time and space. They say that time heals all wounds. Yet, it's hard to allow time to work its healing. It's far to easy to lose patience and feel lost in the pain.
When you can do magic, you want a magical solution to everything. That's what Hermione had sought when she worked her spellcraft. In a sense, it had helped her heal. Her actions had helped her come to her senses that she needed to face what had happened and accept it.
In her case, there was no magical solution. Hermione had to come to terms with her life and face it. And, with a startling clarity, Hermione realized that the best thing for her right now was to be alone and able to focus on herself.
Hermione just hoped that Ginny would understand.