Chapter 2 – Introduction: Google yourself
"What the fuck?!"
The entire class turned to stare at Percy.
"Given the abruptness of legionnaires' summons to Camp Jupiter and the nature of the Mist, mortals often come up with interesting explanations for their disappearances, which can lead to rather lurid headlines." Dr. Telcom nodded at Percy. "I assume the Graecus are no different. Nothing you see should be a surprise, so I would thank you to keep your language appropriate, Mr. Jackson."
"I knew about the weird headlines—I was there when they were published. But all this? What the fuck?" He continued to stare in disbelief at his monitor.
Melody, a legacy of Apollo and recently retired from the legion—introductory icebreakers were very different at NRU than any other school Percy had ever attended—looked over his shoulder and her jaw dropped in shocked disbelief. "Sorry, Professor, but I think Percy's right. 'What the fuck' is the only appropriate response."
The professor tapped a couple of keys on her own computer, and Percy's screen replaced her own (rather boring) results on the projector.
The Bizarre Cross-Country Kidnapping of Percy Jackson – Three preteens commit insane crimes from New Jersey to California. Are they victims or terrorists?
"I see," she said as she continued to scroll.
FALSLY ACCUSED: Percy Jackson – When a bus exploded on the New Jersey turnpike, police were quick to accuse 12 year old Percy Jackson. By the end of the week, he was wanted for assault, kidnapping, and terrorism. But all was not as it appeared...
The Kid Who Blew Up The St. Lewis Arch - FAM: THIS ONE HAS A TWIST YOU WILL NOT SEE COMING! Three years ago police found a destroyed car on the side of the road in Long Island, New York, but Sally Jackson and her twelve year old son, Perseus, were missing—and Sally's husband claimed the boy was behind it. What followed was an unbelievable series of crimes that left investigators baffled, until everything came to a head on a beach in California...
Police F*ck Ups – This week the gals push past the thin blue line to look at some of the most egregious police errors of recent times that didn't result in death. Topics include various substances misidentified as drugs, gun misfires, and a preteen kidnap victim wanted for terrorism. Pour yourself a finger or two of dark whisky and tune in for Police F*ck Ups
Blamed for his kidnapper's crimes? Percy Jackson – Hi friends! He spent weeks being hunted across the country as a kidnapper and terrorist until he was able to turn the tables on the man who abducted him, and he was only 12 years old! I perfect my cat-eye as we discuss this strange case.
Arch Go Boom – This week we discuss Percy Jackson, the twelve year old who blew up a bus, several police cruisers, and the St. Louis Arch.
The Explosion at the St. Louis Arch and a Recipe for Banana Bars – the glaze is the best part!
"Ah. I see you've discovered true crime podcasts." the corner of her mouth twitched in what couldn't quite be called a smile.
"What?"
"The internet has given rise to a new career known as 'content creator'. These people create videos and audio shows for others to listen to. Podcasts, in particular are usually intended to be downloaded and listened to later, though some utilize videos. True crime is a popular genre of this. The hosts will explain a crime to their audience, often accompanied by witty banter or some other gimmick."
"So I go on a quest to retrieve Zeus's master bolt and save the world, and all I get is a reputation as 'that kid who blew up the St. Louis Arch, and now a bunch of people on the internet make a living explaining," he paused and looked at the screen again, "what drink pairs best with it?!"
"Yes."
Percy groaned and put his head down on his desk. "Why is this my life?"