{ 11 }
I'd like to say that everything was back to normal after that. It wasn't. The rest of the day, Hermione was distant and guarded. She never pushed me away, but she wasn't exactly welcoming either.
After dinner, she left the Great Hall without even looking my direction. I watched her go, wondering if I should follow.
By the time I made up my mind, she was already out the door. The entryway was empty when I got there. She could have gone anywhere.
I released a deep sigh and stepped outside for some fresh air. The courtyard was empty. A light mist hung in the air, clinging to my hair and clothes as I sat on the stone railing.
"Draco? Why are you sitting in the rain?"
I turned to face my cousin for a moment, then turned back to the view of the lake. It was calming and eerie, the mist meeting the fog that was rolling off the water in the dying gray light as the sun set behind the heavy clouds.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." I wasn't really in the rain. The roof covered me from most of the moisture falling from the sky.
"You are getting wet." Despite his observation, he sat down next to me.
"Did you need something?" I didn't want to be rude, but I had been enjoying the peace and quiet before he interrupted me.
"Is Hermione your girlfriend now?" I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face. Sure enough, when I looked over, he was staring at me with wide eyes.
"She is." I cleared my throat.
"I heard some older kids talking about it. They were not very happy."
That doesn't surprise me.
"Most people are not." I glanced back over at him. Instead of staring at me, he was now staring at the lake, same as me. We sat there, side by side, for some time. It was calming. Relaxing, almost.
Still, I found myself wishing Hermione was there with me.
"I think it's brilliant. You and Hermione." He broke the silence after several long minutes.
"It's completely nutters, kid." I laughed. He grinned at me, thinking I was joking. I'm not. It is crazy. At the same time, it feels right, somehow.
If he's hearing rumors about Hermione and I, it's only a matter of time before he finds out that I have a Dark Mark on my arm. I should be the one to tell him. He should hear it from me.
"Tristan, there is something you should know about me." I cringed just thinking about having this conversation.
He blinked up at me with wide eyes.
Everyone knew. He probably already knows. Admitting it to someone so young and innocent, though, was not easy. His sister was killed by Death Eaters, for Merlin's sake.
The words stuck in my throat. I had to swallow against the lump that formed there.
"I am a Death Eater." The words came out barely above a whisper. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. To see the look of disgust that had to color his face.
"No. You can't be." His voice was filled with disbelief. "Why would you say something like that?"
I wiped my hands against my pants. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.
"It's true, Tristan. I have the mark. I've done bad things. Dumbledore is dead because of me."
"Stop!" He pushed me with both hands, lashing out at me as grief overtook him. "Stop saying that! You aren't one of them."
His little hands smacked at me, over and over again. I didn't even try to stop him at first.
"That's enough." I caught his hands in mine and stared into his eyes. "I regret it. All of it. That's not who I am anymore. But you need to know that's who I was. You are going to hear things about me and they'll probably be true."
"Why?" He deflated right in front of me, collapsing back against the column and pulling his knees up in front of him.
That was a question that I didn't have any idea how to answer.
"Why am I telling you? Because I don't want you to do something stupid like try to defend me."
He stared at me. I stared back at him. He looked devastated. Maybe I shouldn't have told him after all.
"Were you there? When my sister died?"
I shook my head quickly.
"No. I wasn't fighting then. I was just trying to stay alive."
He wiped at his eyes. Then he stood.
"That's why people don't want you and Hermione together, isn't it? Because she's muggleborn and you're…."
"I told you it's nutters." Maybe now he would understand why.
He stared at me for a long moment, then without another word he turned and walked away. He went several steps, then turned back around.
"Why would she want anything to do with you?"
I sighed and ran my hands through my damp hair. I didn't have an answer for him.
He threw his hands in the air and left.
That could have gone worse.
I stayed there for a long time. The sun had set completely and all I could see was foggy mist surrounding the courtyard. I had just made the decision to give it up and go to bed when the door to the castle opened.
I turned to see an angry witch with fiery red and pitch black hair dancing around her face as she stalked towards me in the darkness.
Despite her ire, I felt a small amount of relief.
She practically stomped over and stared at me.
"What did you say to Tristan?" She seethed.
Oh fuck.
"I told him what I am." I wouldn't apologize for it either. He needed to know.
"What you were."
My heart stopped in my chest. She had accused me of forgetting who she really was. Has she forgotten who I am? What I'm responsible for?
I stood up and faced her, anger coursing through me.
"What I am, Hermione." I pulled the sleeve up on my shirt, revealing the mark that was permanently inked into my skin. It had faded, but it was still there. It would always be there. "Or maybe you've forgotten who you are actually snogging in the corridors?"
Her eyes rested on the mark before meeting mine once again. She never even flinched. I was testing her, the same way she had tested me that morning.
"No, I haven't forgotten." Her gaze was hard and fierce. "Have you?"
She pulled her own sleeve up, the arm that is covered in colorful ink, and she held it up towards me.
Anyone that didn't know it was there might have missed it. In the past month, I had missed it. But I had seen it happen. Watched as each letter had been carved into her skin.
Without conscious thought, my hand lifted. My fingers drifted across the raised skin.
MUDBLOOD
I could see the blood dripping from her arm. Hear her screams as the cursed blade dug into her flesh. I felt my heart crack at the pleading in her eyes. She stared at me the whole time. Begging me to do something. Anything.
And I did nothing. I stood there and I watched, knowing that this brave, brilliant girl was going to die before my eyes.
I took a deep, gasping breath and tore my eyes away from her scar. I pushed the images to the back of my mind and locked them away where they belonged.
"I'm sorry, Hermione." Had I ever actually apologized to her? I don't think I have. Not for that. "I am so sorry that this happened to you. I'm sorry that I didn't do anything to help you. I just stood there."
She stepped closer and slid her arms around my neck. Despite the heaviness of the conversation, the instant she touched me, I felt lighter.
"We are who we are, Draco. We've done the things that we've done. The only thing we can do now is put the past behind us and move forward."
"I'm trying." Forgiving myself. That's what I need to do to move on. I still haven't figured out how the fuck I'm supposed to actually do that.
"I know." Her lips tilted up in a smirk on one side. "For the record, I forgive you for that day at the Manor."
My hands slid around her waist and I pulled her even closer.
"I wish I had stopped it. I wish I had saved you."
She cupped her hands around my face. Her eyes searched mine.
"You did save me, Draco."
I closed my eyes and kissed her. Because I knew in that moment that I would do anything in my power to save her from here on out. I would protect her with my last breath, if need be.
I tried to convey everything I was feeling with that kiss. The way she kissed me back, I could only hope she understood.
I got lost in her. Her scent. Her taste. The feel of her in my arms. This is what Heaven is like. I'm positive of it.
One of us moaned. I don't even know which one it was. Maybe we both moaned at the same time. Whichever it was, it was our cue to stop. To pull back.
I pressed further, deepening the kiss if that was even possible. She gripped my shoulders, not pushing me back, pulling me closer. Her tongue slid through my mouth, caressing mine. She was breathing my air, sucking the air right from my lungs.
When we finally parted, we both took gasping breaths.
"Fuck, Draco." She panted against my lips, her voice rough with desire.
"Too much?" My voice was just as rough as hers. And I already knew the answer.
"Probably." She huffed out a short breath.
"We need to stop." I don't know if I was trying to convince her or myself.
"Right."
Well, that was not convincing. At all.
I had to restrain myself from capturing her lips again. Instead, I tucked her head against my shoulder and leaned my cheek against the top of her head. We held each other like that while we fought to calm our beating hearts. Mine, for one, was beating so loud and so fast that I was sure she could hear it.
"I don't care that you are muggleborn." I'm sure she has figured that out on her own, but I needed to vocalize it. To make sure she knew.
"You realize that statement contradicts what Death Eaters believe." She tilted her head back to look in my eyes.
She lifted her eyebrow and waited.
Yes, I get it. And this is what happens when your witch is as brilliant as mine is.
"I'm aware." That was the closest to an admission as she would get. I rolled my eyes to the sky and took a deep breath. I could feel her smirking at me.
After several long moments, I backed away. I ran my fingers through my hair to fix it where I'm sure she had it sticking up all over the place. She pulled her sleeve back down, covering the tattoo and the horrible scar that it concealed.
"What did Tristan say to you?" What had brought this on?
She tilted her head to the side and folded her arms over her chest.
"He said that the rumors were true. That I lost my mind during the war and that's the only reason I would be daft enough to be with you."
"He seems to be a smart kid. He might be on to something." I shrugged my shoulder.
She smacked me in the back of the head.
I probably deserved it.
My eyes snapped open. I was covered in cold sweat. My breaths came in short bursts. Screams echoed in my mind.
Nightmares. Not surprising given the previous evening.
I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. Then I made my way to the common room so I wouldn't disturb my roommates.
More often than not, this is where I end up in the middle of the night. Alone in the common room, staring at the fire and trying to forget whatever hellish dreams kept me awake.
The dream tonight was of Granger being tortured at the Manor. Instead of standing by and watching, I tried to save her.
It had not ended well. For either of us.
The green hue of the death curse, aimed straight at my chest, is what ultimately woke me.
I shuddered again just thinking about it.
"Hey." A gruff voice cut through the common room, startling me. I turned quickly just as Blaise slouched into the seat next to me.
"Blaise." I scowled at him for sneaking up on me like that. Usually the common room is empty this time of night.
"I heard you get up." He settled back against the couch and stared into the fire.
"Did I forget to put silencing charms around my bed?" I'm sure I screamed out loud during my nightmare.
He raised his brow when he looked at me.
"No. I saw the light in the bathroom." His voice was a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Bad dreams?"
I huffed out a short laugh. If that wasn't an understatement, then I don't know what is. I didn't respond. There was no point. He knew the answer to that question already.
"I saw you with Granger. In the courtyard after dinner."
I forced myself to keep staring at the fire rather than turning to look at him. That had been a private moment. It was not supposed to be witnessed by others.
"And?" I wasn't going to deny what he saw.
"I thought you were just trying to get under their skin. Potter and Weasley. But that isn't it, is it?" He turned to face me. "You really like her."
I could feel him staring at me. Rather than answer vocally, I nodded my head in response.
"You are one crazy bastard, Malfoy." He chuckled. Yes, I can see the humor. It borders on the ridiculous.
"I can't explain it. She makes me feel like…like I could be a good person. Like there is still a chance for me."
He let my words sink in. While we sat in silence, I grasped on to the feeling that surfaced when I remembered her in my arms. I let it wash over me, let it cleanse the remnants of that horrible dream away.
That nightmare represented what could have been. She is alive. I am alive. We both survived.
Holding her, kissing her, that is my reality now.
I wish she were here with me now. How is she sleeping? I hope her dreams are better than mine were.
"Is there?" His voice shook me from my thoughts.
"Is there what?" I think I missed something.
"A chance? For you?"
Finally I turned to face him. It was his turn to stare into the fire. I understood the question he was really asking.
"I think there is still a chance for all of us."
That is the most optimistic sentence I have ever spoken.
Wednesday morning I had to drag myself into the Great Hall for breakfast. Two hours of sleep will do that to you.
Blaise didn't look any better than I felt. Needless to say, we both bypassed the tea and poured mugs of coffee instead.
"You look like Hell." Theo noticed as he sat down next to me.
I didn't answer him. I just rolled my eyes and kept sipping my coffee. I was too exhausted to even eat.
Owls swooped in, dropping mail to eager students. A letter dropped on the table in front of me with my name written on it. I recognize the handwriting now. It was from my Aunt Andromeda.
I opened it and read through bleary eyes.
Draco,
I have discovered some information that you may find very interesting. I have arranged to meet with you this afternoon. I will be bringing a representative from Gringott's with me. We will be there at one o'clock.
See you then.
Andie
It has only been a few days since I met with my aunt for the first time. She did tell me she would help me. She moves pretty fast. I haven't even started thinking about my end of the deal yet, coming up with a plan for when my parents eventually find out. Which, I have no doubt, they will. Sooner or later.
I folded the letter and stuffed it in my bag. This is going to be a long day. I can tell it already.
I left the table, vaguely aware that Theo was walking beside me. Hermione met me at the door. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was glaring at me with what could only be described as disapproval.
What the hell did I do wrong now?
"Did you get any sleep at all last night?" She asked with one eyebrow raised.
"Yes." Barely, but yes. I bypassed her and left the Hall. She sighed loudly and followed.
At the bottom of the stairway, her hand slipped into mine. We didn't talk on the way to Arithmancy and I was okay with that. In my mind, I was replaying that damn dream over and over again. The same thing I've been doing since Blaise and I decided to try to go back to bed around four o'clock this morning.
Each time a different scenario. Each time the same result. I could not come up with a single set of circumstances where I could have rescued Hermione from torture at the hands of my aunt without getting both of us killed.
Could it truly be possible that the only way we both survived that day was by me doing nothing to save her?
"You did save me, Draco." That's what she had said. When I told her I wish I had done more.
"Fuck me. You were right." I turned to her with wide eyes. Understanding finally dawning like a sunrise after a tumultuous storm.
She was startled at first, then her mouth turned up in a grin. Her eyes darted from me to the front of the classroom and back to me again.
"I usually am," she responded with a laugh. On the other side of me, Theo laughed as well. As did most of the rest of the students in the classroom.
Fuck. When did everyone get here? My face burned in embarrassment as I realized that Vector was at the front of the room, staring at me, and that she was at least halfway through a lesson of which I had not heard a single word.
The bell rang. Shite. I had zoned out the entire period.
"Mr. Malfoy. A word?"
Of course. Several classmates snickered as they left. Whatever.
"Are you quite alright, Mr. Malfoy?" Vector waited until everyone was gone but myself and Hermione before she asked. Her eyes bounced curiously between the two of us.
"Yes, Professor. I apologize. It seems my mind was otherwise occupied today."
She studied me for a long moment.
"Very well. Perhaps Miss Granger can catch you up on the lesson and homework assignment?" She turned her black eyes towards Hermione.
"Of course, Professor." She was still smiling. Grinning was more like it. Looking entirely too proud of herself. Laughing at my embarrassment. Remind me again why I like her?
She warms your soul.
Right. There was that.
The corridor was empty when we left the classroom. I don't have a session with Edinfield today, so I am free for the next class period.
I could feel her eyes flicking over towards me every so often as we descended the stairs. Almost predictably now, the staircase swung around and dropped us at the third floor landing. We ducked into the shadows and listened as the stone grated against stone, leaving us deserted here once again.
"Do you think Hogwarts brings us here on purpose?" Hermione asked with a hint of laughter in her voice.
"It would almost have to be. The staircases only bring me here when I'm with you."
"And they make sure we aren't disturbed."
"It is curious, isn't it?" I held the door to the sitting room open and motioned for her to go in ahead of me.
"What I'm curious about right now is what has been going on inside your brain this morning." She pulled me over to the couch and pushed me backwards until I was sitting against the arm. She curled up right next to me and leaned her head against my shoulder.
"You just want to know what you were right about." My words sounded slurred as exhaustion overtook me. The sitting room was not dark per se, but it was lit only by the thin sunlight filtering through the windows.
"Mm. I do, but it can wait." Her fingers carded through my hair, relaxing me even further. "Go to sleep, Draco."
The last thing I remember is the feel of her lips brushing against my cheek. Then darkness as I floated in a field of strawberries before slipping into a deep sleep.
The sound of music playing brought me back to consciousness. It wasn't any kind of music I had ever heard before. It was loud, with a beating drum and a deep, gravelly voice talking about beasts inside your head.
My eyes snapped open. I became aware of several things all at once. First, Hermione was still leaning against my shoulder, asleep. Second, the music seemed to be coming from a small box on the table. And third, the sun now lit the sitting room and warmed me at the same time.
Hermione's arm tightened around my waist and she buried her face further into my shoulder, away from the sunlight that was streaming through the window. She made a frustrated grunting noise. Suddenly her arm reached over and blindly smacked at the black box three times until finally the music stopped.
She sighed into the silence that followed and curled up against me again.
I chuckled to myself and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair. I'm sure we need to be somewhere else right now.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I could feel myself drifting back off to sleep when the black box started blasting music again. I jumped at the sudden noise.
Hermione grumbled to herself then pushed herself up slowly.
"That was the fastest two hours ever." She ran her hands through her hair then stood, stretching her arms up over her head.
"What am I listening to?" I rolled my neck and stretched out my own shoulder. The couch was definitely more comfortable than the chairs in the library had been.
"Metallica." She smirked down at me. "Do you like it?"
I didn't hate it. I had to assume it was a muggle band. It had a good beat.
"It's a little loud."
She laughed, but made no move to turn it off. She held her hand out to me. I grabbed hold and let her pull me off the couch and into her arms. The loud music faded to the background as I stared into her hazel eyes.
Then her lips were moving against mine in time to the music. I held her tight, reassuring myself that she was really there, that the image of her lifeless body in my nightmare was not real.
As the music faded, we pulled back.
"What happened, Draco? Since last night?" Concern and curiosity filled her eyes as she studied me.
How could I explain it to her? It didn't even make sense to me.
"It doesn't matter."
She stared up at me for a long moment. A new song had started to play. A little slower. A little less loud.
I took a deep breath.
"What was I right about?"
I lifted both of my hands and caressed the sides of her face, pushing her hair back and cupping her face in my hands.
"We can't go back." I never want to go back. I only want to go forward. With her.
I kissed her again. Slower this time. More gentle. And I pulled away before it could get out of hand.
"We should go." According to the clock, it was after noon. Lunch had already started. "I'm starving."
She laughed even as she was turning away from me to collect her things.
"I'm not surprised. You didn't even eat breakfast this morning."
I left the third floor feeling so much better than I had this morning. Evidently a two hour nap was exactly what I needed. Honestly, I could have slept much longer, but the extreme exhaustion from earlier was gone.
The Great Hall was full when we walked in. People still stared at us, even as I dropped her hand and turned towards the Slytherin table.
I filled my plate with chicken, roasted vegetables and rolls and dug in. I wasn't joking when I said I was starving. Skipping breakfast, and I barely ate dinner last night, had taken a toll.
Murmured conversation was going on around me. I blocked it all out. The only thing I was thinking about was my food, and the mysterious letter from Andromeda. I checked the time again. Ten minutes till one. I finished off my pumpkin juice and left the table.
I found my long lost aunt waiting in the same room we had met in several days ago. Waiting with her was a red-headed Weasley with a scar running down the side of his face.
"Draco!" Andromeda smiled when she saw me.
Not the reaction I'm used to receiving.
"Malfoy." The Weasley scowled when he saw me.
That was more like it. Typical.
"Another Weasley?" My lip turned up in a familiar sneer. "How many of you are there?"
"You didn't say I would be consulting with a Malfoy." He turned towards Andromeda and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Alright, boys. Play nice." She scolded both of us. "Sit."
We glared at each other for a long moment. I debated walking out briefly. Two things stopped me. First, my curiosity. And second, Granger. Andromeda is here to help me, so I can only infer that he has information that can help me.
I huffed out a short puff of air and moved to the table. Andromeda smiled at me again, then turned a stern look to the Weasley until he complied as well.
"Good. Now that we have that settled." She sat down to my right. "Draco, this is Bill. He works at Gringott's. He has brought some paperwork with him for you to review and complete."
Bill reluctantly opened a folder and slid a stack of parchment my way.
"What is all this?" I glanced over the first page as I picked up the stack.
"You are of age, Malfoy. That means you can open your own vault at Gringott's without anyone else's knowledge or approval."
My eyes darted across the parchment. I can open my own vault. That my parents cannot access. That they would know nothing about.
"I don't have anything to put into it that isn't Malfoy monies. My Father will know as soon as I transfer money out of the Malfoy family vault."
The Weasley cocked his eyebrow at me curiously.
"That is true." The arsehole smirked at me.
"Except, it's not." Andromeda gleefully proclaimed.
I waited for her to continue. She merely grinned at me. Then she opened a different folder and handed me the contents.
I looked over the contents with growing anticipation. It was all written in very old English. The parchment was worn by time and weathered by the generations that had handled it. The front cover depicted the house arms for the Ancient and Noble House of Black.
The Black Family Grimmoire.
"You are the only living male heir to the House of Black, Draco. And you are of age."
My heartrate doubled. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. I had never even considered it before.
"I'm the Head of House Black." I met her gaze with my own. I understood. My mouth lifted up in a grin. A laugh I couldn't contain came from deep inside.
My Father could disinherit me from the Malfoy family fortune, but he is not a Black. He has no control over any of the Black assets.
I do.
It's mine. Any of it. All of it.
"Yes, well, don't get too excited." She tapped the table. "The Black family was never as wealthy as the Malfoy's. And a fair amount of what we did have has been squandered. Sirius left the townhouse to Harry. But the castle is all yours. As is the contents of the vault."
I ran my fingers over the leather bound book that was now mine. Mine to protect. Mine to pass on to future generations.
Weasley handed me another folder. His nose wrinkled up on the end with distaste. Someone should tell him how unprofessional he is acting. Surely he doesn't treat all customers this poorly?
I opened the folder to find a detailed inventory of the Black Family vault. Andromeda was right, it was not nearly the amount that the Malfoy vault held. But it was enough.
"Your Mother still has access to this vault." Bill pointed out. Which would be why they brought paperwork for me to open my own vault. "She can access the contents, but she does not have access to the statement of contents. Just as your Father knows when you withdraw from the Malfoy vault, you will be notified if anyone withdrawals anything from the Black vaults."
"Yes. I understand." I rolled my eyes. My Father has taught me my roles and responsibilities as heir. I know how the family vaults work.
I filled out the forms. I only hesitated on the last page. Beneficiary. I have to name someone as beneficiary in case something happens to me.
On family vaults that have been around for centuries, that right automatically falls to the next male heir. On a personal vault, you can pick anyone.
I held the quill over the parchment for a long moment before writing the name of the person that would inherit my vault if anything happened to me.
"This information is confidential, correct?" I had to ask. The last thing I need is the entire Weasley clan knowing my business.
"Of course." My Aunt was the one that answered. I stared at Bill until he nodded as well.
"I would like that in writing."
"Hell, Malfoy. Why not an unbreakable vow?" He rolled his eyes.
"Why not?" I narrowed my eyes.
He looked surprised. His eyes darted to the forms on the table in front of me.
"Enough." Andromeda looked back and forth between the two of us. "Bill is a professional, Draco. He will be very discreet. Won't you, Bill?"
His eyes remained on those forms. He didn't answer. She sighed. I'm pretty sure she kicked him under the table because he jumped.
"Yes, yes. I won't tell anyone." He opened his folder and pulled out another form. This one, he signed before handing it to me. It was a confidiality agreement.
With that in hand, I slid the forms over. He made a copy, which he gave to me, and put the originals inside the folder.
"I would like to authorize Andromeda's access to the Black vault as well."
Andromeda looked surprised at first, then she smiled at me.
"You don't have to do that."
"You never should have been denied access. That is your family's vault." I took the offered form from Bill and completed it as well. "You don't have to use it. But it's there if you need it."
Weasley left as soon as he had all of the completed forms in his folder. He did not shake my hand before he left. I was okay with that.
"Did you even try to find someone else besides a Weasley?" I asked my aunt after he was gone.
"Can you name anyone at Gringott's that would not immediately tell your Father what you have done?" She raised her brow and looked at me in amusement. Of course the answer is no. "That's what I thought."
A bell rang, indicating that I needed to get to Ancient Runes class. It had taken longer to complete those forms than I thought.
"You should know, I told Tristan that I fought on the wrong side of the war." My leg bounced with anxiety. The kid wouldn't even look at me now. "He did not take it well."
"It won't take him long to figure out that you are no longer on the wrong side."
I shrugged my shoulder and stood to leave.
"Maybe, maybe not. But he needed to know the truth."
She tilted her head to the side and looked at me with an odd expression on her face.
"You are a good person, Draco. He'll see that. Go to class. I promised McGonagall I would not interrupt your classtime."
I nodded at her and walked to the door. Before I left, I turned back.
"Thank you." It was a simple sentiment, but I swear there were tears glistening in her eyes before I walked out the door.
AN: Hello all. Hope you are having a great weekend. Thanks for taking time out to read this little plot bunny of mine. I own nothing. Except Tristan. He is all mine.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Reviews make my day.
Until next time.
-mezy