{ 14 }
The common room was bustling with activity when I arrived. I bypassed all of it and went straight to my room.
I called for the dorm house elf and requested a late dinner. He had just set the tray down on my desk when the door to the room opened. Theo and Blaise walked in.
"See, Theo. He is still alive." Blaise pulled the chair from his own desk over and sat down next to me.
"Still, it begs the question, where has he been all day?" Theo crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against my bed post.
I sighed. How could I even begin to explain the day I had?
"I'm going to assume he was with his girlfriend all day." Blaise picked a chip off my plate and popped it into his mouth.
"Safe assumption, since she was missing all day, too." Theo chimed in.
Would it be a betrayal of trust if I told them what had happened?
"It's complicated." I contemplated what I could tell them while I finished eating. When I was done, I warded the door and silenced the room.
They shared a look between them. I sighed. These two have gotten me through some of my darkest times. The three of us were all pulled into the war by our parents. Taught the same pureblood line of shite. Forced to take a mark on our arms in the name of our families. Forced and coerced into fighting for a cause that none of us believed in.
Hermione might feel betrayed if I tell them her story. But they will certainly feel betrayed if I don't.
"What I'm about to tell you, never leaves this room." I looked at each of them in turn. My eyes bore into theirs until each of them nodded in agreement.
Right then. Another deep breath entered my lungs, only to be expelled slowly.
"None of us escaped the war unscathed. Including Hermione." I sat forward in my chair and leaned my elbows on my knees with my hands clasped together.
"McGonagall is worried about her." Theo stated. He had seen that first hand when we were all in the headmistress' office.
"I don't agree with her methods, but yes."
"What happened to her?" Blaise asked. He leaned forward in his chair and mirrored my position.
I shook my head. It was not my place to tell them.
"Use your imagination and you might come close." I stared at my hands for a long moment while that sank in. "I don't even know all of it. I know what I know because I was there. I saw some of it. I heard about some of it. I'm sure there were other situations that I don't even know about at all."
A cold chill ran down my spine. Had other bad things happened to her that I don't know about? What other demons is she battling on her own?
"Why would you have been there?" Theo finally sat down on the edge of my bed. He had seen almost as much depravity as I had during the war. I could see his mind spinning, connecting the dots.
"She was caught by snatchers. All three of them were. They were brought to the Manor."
Blaise drew in a sharp breath. Theo dropped his head and ran a palm over his face.
"Fuck. Why didn't you tell us about that?" He looked up at me. Accusation and appalling clarity colored his tone. He understood, without me having to say any more. It was a miracle they had escaped with their lives.
Because you are ashamed that you stood there and watched.
"I haven't told you half of the things I witnessed in my own home." I snorted, somewhere between a laugh and derision. "Trust me when I say, you do not want to know."
Blaise cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had settled over the room.
"And today?"
"We all have our bad days." My eyes met Theo's briefly before I turned to Blaise. "Today…last night…for her, was almost as bad as it gets."
My heart clenched almost painfully. I took a deep, measured breath. My hand rubbed against my chest. I don't even want to think about how close she came.
Blaise sat up straight and rolled his neck back.
"Why you? Why not Potter or Weasley?"
That's a good question that I don't have an answer for.
"I don't know." I sighed. Exhaustion was starting to settle in as the day caught up with me. "Honestly, I don't think either one of them has a clue. Maybe they're too close. Maybe she hides it from them for a reason."
Maybe she blames them for letting it happen - for not protecting her like they should have.
"Draco." Theo looked up at me and waited. "You feel responsible. I get that. But part of your probation is that you have to attend all of your classes. You keep ditching, and they will put you in Azkaban. Is that what you want?"
Of course not. I rolled my eyes.
"What would you have done, Theo? Left her alone in the middle of an emotional breakdown?" I cringed to myself. "I wasn't about to do that. If it puts me in Azkaban, then so be it. Edinfield gave us both a pass for today. I'm not going to Azkaban. Not yet anyway."
Theo stood and paced away.
"Does she have any idea what all you are risking for her? Does she even care?" He threw his hands in the air.
I shrugged my shoulder. Those are my risks to take and I have my own reasons for doing so.
Blaise chuckled to himself.
"You don't get it, Theo. He doesn't give a damn what happens to himself."
True enough.
Theo raised his brow in question. I sat back in my chair, rolled my shoulders back and lifted my chin in response. I met his gaze with a hard stare.
I don't give a damn what happens to me. My only goal right now is to protect Hermione, even if it's from herself.
Sleep did not come easy that night. My dreams were plagued with visions of Hermione, lying broken on the ground beneath the Astronomy Tower.
I woke several times throughout the night. Each time, I wondered if she was awake too.
Friday morning in the Great Hall, I relaxed as soon as I saw her. She was sitting at the table with Ginny, eating breakfast. She looked up at me and smiled.
Warmth spread from my heart throughout my body. I breathed a sigh of relief and took my seat next to Blaise.
A few minutes later, Tristan sat down on the other side of me. He didn't say a word, simply filled his plate and started eating.
I watched him wearily for a few seconds. The last time we spoke, he had been quite angry with me. He had even told Hermione she was crazy for wanting anything to do with me.
I resumed eating my own breakfast. Theo sat down across from me. Daphne joined him a moment later, followed by Pansy shortly thereafter.
Pansy stared at me for a long moment before she broke the silence at the table.
"Draco, are you adopting first years now?" She smirked at me and winked at Tristan.
"First Gryffindor muggle borns, now first years. Are you sure you are Draco Malfoy? Has anyone tested him for polyjuice potion?" Daphne laughed.
"Very funny." I rolled my eyes. "This is Tristan. He thinks I'm an evil git."
"Evil?" Theo snorted in laughter. "You?"
"Oh, honey." Daphne turned her attention to Tristan and patted his hand. "The term we use is moody."
"I am not moody." I scowled at her, but I knew they were just joking around. It was all in good fun. I nudged his shoulder with my elbow. "Don't listen to her. She has no idea what she's talking about."
Tristan chuckled. His shoulders relaxed for the first time since he sat down. Maybe he's decided he doesn't hate me after all. Stupid kid.
Conversation at the table turned to weekend plans. It was the first Hogsmeade weekend and the girls were looking forward to some shopping. I'm confined to school grounds, so I tuned them out.
I felt a tingling sensation go down my spine. I looked around quickly, only to find Hermione watching me.
Her hair was pulled up on the sides and piled on top of her head in a messy bun that showcased the dark red color with streaks of black. Black tendrils hung down to frame her face. Her makeup was perfect, smokey eyes and dark red lips. Her uniform was the perfect mess that I have become accustomed to seeing.
She nodded towards the door and raised her eyebrow. I nodded once. A silent conversation between the two of us spanning the Great Hall. We rose from our respective tables at the same time and met at the door.
"Good morning." She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed.
"It seems to be." I smirked down at her.
"Yes, it does." She smiled. A full-blown smile. Her eyes even sparkled. I had to stop and stare for a moment.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Her cheeks tinged pink as she looked down at herself.
"Because you are beautiful." I tilted her chin up so I could look her in the eye.
"Whatever, Malfoy." Her cheeks darkened and she averted her eyes, but her smile only grew bigger, more radiant.
My heart skipped a beat. She might not know how beautiful she is, but I do.
I kept my hand wrapped around hers as we walked to class. People had stopped staring as they saw us together. Most everyone knew by now that we were together. They might not agree with it, but that's their problem, not ours.
We settled into our table in the Arithmancy classroom. Theo came in right behind us. Within a few minutes the entire class was there.
Hermione doodled throughout class. Theo muttered to himself as he worked through each problem. I tried to ignore both of them and focus on the lecture.
I was getting stuck somewhere between steps three and four, and could not figure out what I was missing. My knee bounced in agitation. I started over again. Same result. I had to resist the urge to growl under my breath.
Hermione's hand settled on my knee. She squeezed gently until my knee stopped bouncing. I froze as warmth flooded through me from her fingertips. I held my breath, afraid to move even that much.
I looked over at her. She was looking at me and I think she was as surprised by her actions as I was. Her hand slipped off of my leg in a smooth, caressing motion that sent blood flowing straight to my cock.
Fuck!
I took a deep breath, trying to will myself to calm down. She did not notice how affected I was by her touch. Or if she did, she did not draw attention to it.
Instead, she pulled my parchment over and read over my work. With her quill, she made a correction and slid it back in front of me.
I took another deep breath and refocused on my paper. I stared at it for much longer than I should have before my brain returned focus to arithmancy rather than the strawberry scented siren sitting beside me. Luckily by the time class ended my blood flow had returned to normal.
Healer Edinfield watched me carefully as I sat in the seat across from him. He had my folder open on the desk in front of him. A quill sat at the ready.
"Mr. Malfoy. How are you feeling today?"
I raised my brow. We didn't often talk about feelings.
"Yesterday was a rather trying day for you, I suspect. Perhaps I should ask how you are holding up instead?"
I shrugged my shoulder. I wasn't the one that had an emotional breakdown.
"Hmm. Okay. Is there anything you would like to talk about today?"
Back to the normal playbook, then. Should I point out that he's the one that wanted an extra session today? I'd much rather be sitting through Ancient Runes right now with Granger.
A cold chill skated down my spine.
"Do you think she would have jumped?" I asked quietly. The question had been on my mind all night. Images of her stepping off the landing, her broken body on the ground, they had haunted my dreams.
"The Demons she spoke of have very specific names. They are anxiety and depression. They can be very powerful, very persuasive. I believe you have had experiences with them yourself."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Yes, I certainly have.
I also noticed that he had answered my question without answering at all.
"How do I help her?" I stared down at the floor through my clasped hands.
"What did you do yesterday?" I could feel his eyes on me.
I ran my hands through my hair and sat back in my seat. I hadn't done anything. Not really.
That wasn't true though, was it?
"I just…I held her while she cried. I talked to her, reassured her that she was okay and safe." I did the same things she had done for me during my panic attack.
"Sometimes that's all you can do. Sometimes that's enough." He made notes in his folder. "That is not all you did, though. Was it?"
My brow crinkled in confusion. That was all I did. I didn't know what else to do. I was afraid anything I said might make it worse. That's why I convinced her to talk to him. Oh! Right.
"I brought her here."
"Exactly. You provided her with emotional support. You guaranteed her safety during a very vulnerable time. And you recognized your limits enough to ask for help when you both needed it. You did exactly what you should have done, Mr. Malfoy." He set his quill down, folded his hands and watched me.
It did not feel like enough. I stood and walked over to the window. I stared out at the forest, with leaves on the trees that had turned orange and red.
"Were the two of you close, before?"
I shook my head and groaned. I know he is not that dense. He knows perfectly well that the answer to that question is a resounding no.
"I thought not. Yet, you have become quite close now."
Obviously. I rolled my eyes but did not turn to look at him. That was another question to which he already knew the answer.
I still cannot explain it, so I hope he does not ask. There is no reasoning behind it. I felt like I needed to say something, though.
I focused on my own reflection in the window. With a deep breath, I smoothed down the hair that was out of place before I turned back to face him.
"During the war, she was caught by snatchers. Her, Potter and Weasley. They were brought to Malfoy Manor." My stomach rolled. How many times would I have to relive this memory? "They sent Potter and Weasley to the dungeons. But not her."
A cold shiver ran down my spine.
"Bellatrix…she was convinced they had broken into her vault. She tortured Hermione for well over an hour." I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. There was actually a reason I was telling him all this. A point to be made.
"Her screams still haunt my nightmares. But despite everything, she never gave in. She never relented and told my crazy aunt what she wanted to hear. There was a moment, though. At the end, when her eyes met mine. In that moment, I think she was prepared to die. I think she had accepted that as her fate." I closed my eyes. That look haunts me almost as much as the screams do. "She had that same look in her eye yesterday morning, right before she broke down completely."
I finally turned to look at him. I was surprised to see there was genuine concern behind his eyes.
"And you?" He stood and leaned against the edge of his desk. "Had you accepted as fact that you were about to watch a fellow classmate lose her life in your own home, by the hand of a family member?"
Pain lanced through my heart. I rubbed at my chest absently, trying to alleviate the tightness that clutched my lungs and made it difficult to breath.
"Yes." I gasped for air. "As soon as I saw them in my foyer, I knew they were as good as dead. I should have known the luckiest-boy-in-the-world would figure out a way to escape."
He gave me several minutes to regain my footing, for the pain in my chest to ease and for me to breathe normally again.
"These Demons are not entities that you fight once and defeat. This is a process that can take years to repair the damage that has been caused to both of your psyches."
I am starting to understand that more and more.
"You are recovering from an extremely traumatic experience. As is she. You will each have good days and bad days in your path to healing." He joined me at the window. "If you start to feel overwhelmed, I am always available."
He has made that offer before. Now, after yesterday, I can see that he is being sincere.
"Like yesterday?" I kept watching out the window.
"Exactly."
Exactly. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. A process, he said. It could take years.
Fantastic.
"Do you still think I should forgive myself?" I finally turned to face him. His brow rose at my sudden question, but he did not hesitate to answer.
"Forgiving yourself is absolutely essential, Draco. Self-hatred is one of your demons. Truly forgiving yourself is the only way to defeat it."
I nodded to acknowledge that I heard him, but the very concept of forgiving myself still seems impossible. The things I have done are unforgivable.
And yet, she has forgiven you.
I closed my eyes. She doesn't know everything I've done. Everything I've seen.
"Do you think…it feels like maybe…" I stopped and rolled my eyes at myself. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed as I worked out the words in my head. "If I can help her with her demons, maybe she can help me with mine?"
He contemplated that for a long moment. Perhaps he was picking his words just as I had. Finally he cleared his throat.
"It's not typically advised. There are many things that can go horribly wrong, that would end up being detrimental to one or the other of you, or more than likely, to both of you. Under normal circumstances I would tell you to focus on your own mental health and let her focus on hers."
"But?" I raised my brow and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting. He sighed.
"But, the two of you seem to have developed a bond of sorts. At this point, it is probably too late to try to separate you."
I smirked to myself. He was right. There was no way in Hell I would let her go through this alone.
I strode through the corridors after my appointment with Edinfield on my way to the Great Hall for lunch. He gave me a lot to think about today.
"Draco!" My name echoed down the nearly empty hallway, along with fast-approaching footsteps.
I turned quickly, my hand on my wand just in case, I found Tristan running down the hallway towards me. I relaxed and left my wand in its holster.
"Tristan." He skidded to a stop in front of me. His wide eyes blinked at me.
"You talked to Mum." He crossed his arms over his chest. I couldn't tell if he was angry or if it was something else.
"She reached out to me, yes."
"She says I should give you a chance and be nice to you until you do something mean."
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't do me any favors, Tristan. You don't have to like me. Most people don't." I crossed my arms and stared down at him. "I'm already on probation with the Ministry. I don't need to be on probation with you, too."
His face fell and his shoulders sagged. I don't know what answer he was expecting.
"You should apologize to Hermione, though. Whatever you said to her really hurt her feelings."
His eyes snapped back to mine. He looked surprised. Did he not realize how upset she was when he told her she was crazy?
A cold chill ran down my spine. Fuck. I hadn't even thought of that before. His callous words had been an affirmation of one of her fears.
"You don't have to apologize, Tristan." Hermione spoke up from behind me. I turned my head and saw her leaning against the wall.
"How long have you been standing there?" My whole body relaxed just from seeing her.
"Does it matter?" She raised her brow and her lip tilted up on one side.
No, I suppose it doesn't. She waited for a few seconds. When I didn't answer, she turned her attention to my cousin.
"Tristan, are you sure that is what your Mum said?" She smiled at him sweetly.
He scuffed his shoes against the floor then threw his hands in the air.
"Fine. She said that I wasn't fair to you and you are not a bad guy." He sighed and dropped his shoulders. "I guess she's probably right."
I was ready to write the kid off. Like I said, I'm not about to start answering to the twerp.
Hermione looked at me and nodded her head towards him. She raised her brow and waited.
Oh, Merlin. She expects me to give him another chance, too. What the hell do I look like? A fucking Hufflepuff?
"Draco?" She popped her hip out to one side and placed her hand on her hip.
"Hermione." I crossed my arms over my chest. I am not giving in just because she is giving me that look.
She blinked. Her shoulders dropped and she sighed.
"Right." She muttered to herself, just loud enough that I could hear her. She shook her head.
I know what she's doing.
"That might work on Potter and Weasley. It's not going to work on me." I tilted my head to the side.
Her eyes narrowed and she lifted her chin.
"It's a well known fact that I'm an arsehole." I took a step towards her, then another. My hands settled on her waist. I leaned close and lowered my voice so only she could hear me. "You can keep trying to manipulate me into being a nice person, because honestly it's sexy as hell, but it will not work."
Her breath caught in her throat. It took a few seconds, but she finally met my gaze.
"Fine. Be an arse." She placed her hands on my chest and looked up at me through her lashes. "Just remember, that boy is your family. Close to the only family that you have. And he was willing to give you every chance in the world until you pushed him away with your 'I'm a Death Eater' nonsense."
Damn, she's good. And she's right, of course. Not that I can tell her that.
"We have already had this conversation. I am a…"
Her lips crashed into mine. Fuck. That is not playing fair at all.
Stop this now. She is still manipulating you.
My mind might have been telling me to stop, but my lips were moving against hers.
"We have had this conversation." She pulled back and stared into my eyes. "I just figured I'd jump ahead to the end."
She kissed me again quickly. Then she stepped back, turned around and walked away.
Behind me, Tristan snickered. I turned and glared at him. This is all his fault anyway.
"You two are cute together." He grinned.
"Shut it." I rolled my eyes.
Have I mentioned lately that Hermione Granger may well be the death of me? Because it is seeming like a possibility more and more every day.
"Do you hate me?" Tristan's voice was quieter this time.
Fucking hell. She had to be right, didn't she?
Of course. She's Granger. She's always fucking right. I growled to myself and rolled my eyes up to stare at the ceiling.
"No. I don't hate you. But don't expect me to be perfect. I am who I am."
"And you are an arsehole?" He tried not to laugh as he repeated my own words back to me.
"Most of the time, yeah."
I turned away from him and followed Hermione to the Hall for lunch. He followed behind me. And he sat down next to me.
Great. Now I suppose he's going to become my shadow or something.
I shook my head to myself and looked across the room. Hermione was watching me. She bit her lip to hide her grin.
She thinks she won this battle.
She did win, you moron.
I narrowed my eyes and glared at her, which only made her cheeks tinge pink and her lips to turn up in a full smile before she averted her gaze.
Damn. There's that warmth spreading through my heart again. My mouth curled up on one side and I shook my head to myself. This witch. I swear she has me bewitched somehow.
I should be worried about that, right?
My hand twitched, itching to rub at my heart.
No. I'm not worried about it at all.
The Defense classroom was much quieter than normal. Only a fraction of the class was in attendance. Anyone that could produce a corporeal patronus was excused for the day.
"Mr. Malfoy, you may go." Professor Bones stated when she saw me. I glanced over at Hermione and opened my mouth to protest.
"Just go, Malfoy." She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Enjoy your Friday afternoon. I'll just chill here with Nott and Zabini. It'll be fine."
Theo and Blaise were at the table next to us. Blaise winked at her. Theo looked like he might be sick. His skin paled and his eyes widened. Things would be weird with them for awhile yet.
"I really don't have anything better to do." I muttered just loud enough that she could hear me. She just gave me this look that said she thought I was being ridiculous.
She might have a point. However, I know how badly this lesson affected her two days earlier.
"Alright. I'll see you after class, then?"
She chewed on her lip and shook her head. A cloud rolled through her eyes.
"I have my appointment after class." She spoke quietly.
Fuck. And I have quidditch practice after dinner again.
"At dinner, then." I squeezed her hand, held it for a few seconds, then turned and left the classroom.
As the door closed behind me, my heart clenched.
She'll be fine.
Probably.
Maybe.
I took one step after another away from the classroom, down the stairs and out the door. The air was fresh and crisp. The sun was shining. A cool breeze rustled through the trees.
The courtyard was not bustling, but there were a few groups of students scattered about. My eyes rested on one group in particular. Potter, Weasley and Longbottom.
I stared at them for a long while. Long enough that they took notice. It was Longbottom that saw me first. He nudged Potter, who in turn nudged Weasley. In the end, they were all staring at me.
I nodded towards the clock tower, then turned and made my way to the lower floor. The gears and levers whirled, on display for all to see. A moment later, the three Gryffindors entered the tower behind me.
And this is what I've come to. Asking Potter for help. I cringed at myself for even thinking it. The truth of the matter is that I can't be in Gryffindor Tower at night, and tonight especially she is going to need someone.
"Malfoy?" To his credit, there was barely any disdain in his voice at all.
"Potter." I swallowed the bile in my throat. Good Merlin, there was no disdain at all in my voice. Bewitched, I'm telling you. It's the only explanation. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Might as well get on with this, then. "Hermione needs your help."
They stared at me in disbelief for a moment before Weasley scoffed.
"In case you haven't noticed, Hermione doesn't want our help." He sneered at me.
"Yes, well, I didn't say she wants your help, did I?" I sneered right back at him. Oh, good. The disdain is back in my voice. "She needs your help. Especially today."
Potter leaned against the wall opposite of me with his arms crossed.
"The last time we tried to help her, she ended up snogging you in the corridors. Merlin only knows what she'll do if we try again." Weasley kept on. He sat down on the bench that sat in front of the clock machinery, placed his elbows on his knees and dropped his head to rest in his hand. The sigh he emitted was long and heavy.
"You have to be subtle about it." I leaned back against the wall, mirroring Potter, and turned my attention from Weasley to him. I caught his gaze and held it. "For Merlin's sake, whatever you do, do not let her be alone tonight."
It took a minute or two for my words to sink in. His green eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to one side.
"Why tonight? What happened? Did you do something to her?"
Merlin and Salazar. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Cursing them would be counter-productive. I needed to remember that.
"Do you know where she is right now?" I ground out through gritted teeth.
"I just figured she was with you." Longbottom shrugged his shoulder and sat on the windowsill.
"She's in Defense class." I kept my eyes on Potter. He was my best bet, the leader of this group of imbeciles.
"We were excused from Defense today." Weasley spoke up.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, or to even look at the red haired wizard. I kept my gaze locked on Potter's.
"We were." I motioned to the four of us. "She was not."
His brow scrunched up in confusion and he shook his head.
"That's impossible. All she had to do was cast a patronus. I've seen her do that fifty times at least. It's an otter." He ran his hand through his hair and let his arms fall to his side.
"When was the last time?" I glanced at each of them in turn. "When was the last time any of you saw her patronus?"
Potter and Weasley looked at each other for a moment as they thought back.
"I can't remember. It's been a long time. DA practice?" Weasley answered first.
"At the Ministry of Magic?" Longbottom chimed in.
"Yes. She sent for help when we were attacked." Potter nodded emphatically. "It's how the Order knew where to find us."
His eyes stared at nothing as he flipped through memory after memory.
"Surely that isn't the last time, though." He mumbled more to himself than to anyone else. "Hermione doesn't forget anything. She would not forget how to cast a protective spell like a patronus."
Weasley and Longbottom agreed with him.
"Of course she remembers how to cast it." I rolled my eyes and stared at the ceiling. How did someone as brilliant as Granger end up with friends as numbskulled as these?
"What are you saying, Malfoy?" Longbottom stood up, straightened his spine. He's not the stuttering, bumbling fool he was when we were little. His brown eyes studied me. Maybe I've been focused on the wrong Gryffindor.
"I'm saying that there is a reason she can't produce even a wisp of smoke when she casts that spell."
The gears on the clock turned. It was the only noise in the room for several minutes.
I cleared my throat.
"I have quidditch after dinner, then it's curfew. I can't be in the Gryffindor Tower after hours." I ran my hands through my hair and stared up at the large clock overhead. "I'm asking if you can keep an eye on her tonight."
It was suddenly very difficult to breathe. A heavy weight settled against my chest.
Weasley shook his head.
"No. Mione can take care of herself. She doesn't need a babysitter." He curled his hands into fists and glared at me.
Anger boiled through my veins. Maybe she was right. Maybe they really don't care.
"You're right, Weasley. She doesn't need a babysitter. She needs her friends." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This has been a huge waste of my time. "You know what? Never mind. I'll figure it out myself. Just…just forget I said anything."
I pushed off the wall. I had to pass Longbottom to get to the door.
"What do you think will happen?" He asked me as I walked past. "If she's alone tonight?"
My eyes met his. I wasn't about to give these three any more information than I already had. They aren't interested in helping, they don't deserve to know.
Then again, maybe they do. They need to know. Before it's too late.
"Imagine for a moment that you were in such a dark place in your own mind that you can't even recall what being happy feels like, even for a moment, even when you are trying really hard. With every failure, you sink further into that darkness. Until that's all you can see. All you can feel. No one else even notices the darkness that engulfs you. You convince yourself that no one would even care if you simply…disappeared into the darkness." I stared hard at each of them in turn. "What would you do, Longbottom? What would any of you do?"
Potter's face paled. He sat down shakily next to Ron.
"She wouldn't do that." Ron shook his head hard. "You don't even know her, Malfoy!"
"Maybe I don't. Not as well as you do." I ran my hand through my hair. It was shaking. I could feel anxiety clawing at my throat, but I knew I had to tell them. I rubbed at my chest, willing my heartbeat to return to normal.
"I know that darkness, though." I took a deep breath, blew it out slowly. "I've been there. I barely survived it."
"She would tell us if that were true. She would ask for our help." Potter looked like he might be sick.
"When has Mione ever asked us for help?" Weasley huffed out a short humorless laugh. "She would try to figure it out on her own."
Now they were starting to think like Granger. Finally.
"And if she couldn't figure it out?" I gave them a nudge. They glanced at each other. I saw the instant understanding swept through them.
"Why wouldn't she say anything, though?" Neville muttered to himself more than anything. "She's barely even talked to any of us since the start of term."
"Since the Hogwart's Express." Potter's voice was so low, I could barely hear it. His eyes met Weasley's. The look on their faces could only be described as horrified.
What the hell had he said to her that day?
I wanted to ask. That look could not mean anything good. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him until he looked back at me. I raised my brow and waited.
"We didn't even recognize her, with the hair and the tattoo." He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "There was an argument. Things were said that we immediately regretted."
He cleared his throat, stood and paced back and forth from the bench to the wall and back again.
"What did you say to her?" I'm done waiting. Dread settled over me. Whatever he had said, it pushed her away, maybe for good.
"She wanted to talk about the war. I told her we had already dealt with it after she left. No reason to talk about it any further." He ran his hands through his hair. "We just wanted to move on, you know? Have a normal school year for a change. I told her if she couldnt do that, then maybe she should have just kept traveling the muggle world with her family."
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I told you, I regretted saying it immediately." He still didn't face me. Weasley and Longbottom both stared at the floor. So they had all been there, then. Idiots.
There was so much wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin. Should I even bother?
I opened my mouth to retort, but closed it again. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?
I'm starting to see that not only am I wasting my time, but this was probably a huge mistake. I should have known that she knew what the fuck she was talking about. They might be friends, but they are fucking clueless.
"Do us all a favor. Forget this conversation ever happened." I glared at each of them in turn before I turned and stormed out the door. I slammed the door behind me. I briefly contemplated hitting each of them with an obliviate.
Not worth it.
Fucking probation.
"Malfoy, wait!" Longbottom stopped me just as I stepped into the courtyard. I turned slowly to face him. My face was emotionless, but my hands were curled into tight fists. "I'll stay with her tonight. She won't be alone."
My eyebrow rose and I released a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I gave him a short nod, then turned and walked away. He was not the one I expected to step up, but I suppose he should have been.
Either way, I could sleep easier knowing that someone in the tower was keeping an eye on her.
AN: Hello again! My readers are awesome. Just saying.
I realized I am not getting notifications for all of my reviews like I should, so I went through and read a bunch that I didn't even know I had. To answer a few questions:
1. yes, there will be time jumps later on in the story. There is just too much going on in the now to skip any of it.
2. Undecided whether we will hear from Hermione's POV or not. Maybe, later on. But for now, Draco is the only one talking to me.
3. Love the suggestions on how they can get in touch with each other. Keep reading to find out if any of them are correct. ;)
Keep the reviews coming! I love reading them.
Until next time.
-mezy