Chapter 14: A Single Step
As dawn's early light peeked through the entrance to our den, I was filled with trepidation but also excitement. Today, I and the other cats selected would begin our journey to find Midnight at the place where the sun drowns. I'd get to see and learn so much, but this same unknown was terrifying. I wouldn't have Father beside me to guide me through it. I wouldn't have Dad's soft voice telling me that everything is going to be alright. I wouldn't have my unyielding mentor there to act when I could not. Instead, I'd have to place my trust in three, four according to Hawkfrost, cats who were previously rivals and enemies and one cat who had attempted to scare me previously with his seniority. If I was lucky, Squirrelpaw would join us, but that was also a gamble based upon her ability to act stealthily. Squirrelpaw is not stealthy.
As we made our way out, Brambleclaw, Firestar, Stonestep, and Dad were already present, clearly to see me and Brambleclaw off. I was just about to make my way over when Father stopped me. He gestured for me to follow him. Of course, I followed. He led me to a bush where a bundle was visible at the base.
"My son, this is both a gift and curse I bestow upon you. Within lies the claws of Scourge. I only salvaged one paw's worth, and that is all I am willing to give. I know of your dreams of blood. I know of the twisted desire that lurks inside you. All the same, I cannot bring myself to leave without every edge you can get. I trust you to control yourself. I am putting all my faith in you. I know you will not let me down." Father mewed, pushing the bundle towards me.
After a moment's hesitation, I opened it. Within lay four dog teeth, each hollowed out carefully to allow a cat's claws to slot into them. I recognized them. It was all four of them, Cut, Lacerate, Agony, and Wrath. I felt my breath hitch at the sight of them. They were so familiar. When I touched them, I could just feel the history in them. Each was earned from a different dog. Each was chosen specifically because they were the sharpest in the dead dog's jaw. Each had been bathed in the blood of my… No… Scourge's enemies many times over. I began to slot them over my claws. It was like greeting an old friend, one you'd lost touch with because they went on a dark path. The weight was familiar and comforting in all the wrong ways. I drummed the claws once on the ground. The sound was the exact same as my dreams.
Father looked upon me with worry. Had I reveled and decried the claws given to me for too long? Obviously, my dreams of blood were on Father's mind. These claws Father gave me, they itched with the desire to spill more blood. Could I truly trust myself with them? I pondered only a moment longer before my eyes met Father's. Father trusted me, and he is never wrong. If Father believes that I can control this urge, then I will believe him. These claws will only act as a tool of protection, not a weapon of meaningless bloodshed. I will use them wisely despite their malicious nature.
"I promise that these will only be used if necessary." I promised to Father.
He smiled one of his rare truly warm smiles at me. It made me feel warm that he both cared for me and trusted me enough to handle the burden these claws presented. Father then guided me back to meet the rest of the attending Thunderclan. I saw Dad's eyes briefly glance upon the claws before flicking questioningly at Father. Father responded with a firm look that quieted Dad's worry. Dad, Father, my mentor, and I had a brief moment of well wishes.
By the time our moment was over, the rest of the clans had made an appearance. Feathertail was accompanied by her brother Stormfur, exactly as Hawkfrost had predicted. Crowpaw, although alone from his clan, begrudgingly joined the rest of the chosen. Tawnypelt was cordially greeting her brother Brambleclaw. Already, the shadows cast by the rising sun pointed which way were supposed to go. I joined the rest.
"Darkpaw, how was your night? I hope the stress of worrying about today didn't give you any bad dreams." Tawnypelt queried, her slight worry visible in her voice but kept hidden with her tact in word choice in her question.
"It was dreamless. Father prepared me as best he could, and his faith in me is proof enough that we will succeed." I answered.
"Why do you care so much for his words?" Crowpaw asked with a small bit of spite.
"Because if I cannot trust myself to succeed, then I must trust in those who put their trust in me. Even if I fear I am incapable of doing what is necessary, I trust in my father's decisions, and he believes I can do what is needed. Thus, I must be capable of what is necessary." I replied.
"That doesn't make any sense." Crowpaw commented with a shake of his head.
"Actually, it makes perfect sense." Feathertail cut in. "When we doubt ourselves, we open ourselves up to weakness. By relying upon the faith others put in us, we are capable of overcoming our doubt. We become stronger because that is what others need us to be. Though, it is impressive to see an apprentice that already learned this."
"Alright. We're losing daylight. Let's set off already." Brambleclaw commanded.
"Who put you in charge?" Crowpaw hissed.
I guess it was time for my first act as Guardian of the Chosen. "Calm down Crowpaw. He wasn't ordering us. It is a reasonable suggestion. Of course, there will be times where one of us will be better suited to lead than the rest. Other times, someone else will lead. Just as each clan has its own strengths, we each have our own as well. Decisions will be joint, but we must remember that as an individual, we won't always know better than the rest. Since we're cutting through Thunderclan territory, it makes sense for Brambleclaw to lead for now."
Crowpaw grumbled a moment before conceding. The walk was silent up until the edge of Thunderclan territory where an orange blur tackled me off my paws.
"Darkpaw! You didn't really think you could leave me behind." Squirrelpaw cheerfully stated.
"Squirrelpaw? You aren't supposed to be here." Brambleclaw stated in an exasperated tone.
"Nope. I'm not leaving, and you can't make me. I'm joining you all on this journey whether you want me to or not. Now, you can either put up with me, or I can tail you the whole way and potentially get lost along the way. I wonder how my dad Firestar would react to that?" Squirrelpaw baited.
Brambleclaw shook with anger before sighing. "Fine. I guess we have no choice. You can join us, but I take no responsibility to how Firestar will react when we get back."
"Are we really just going to let this happen?" Crowpaw hissed.
Tawnypelt let out a chuckle. "With a cat like her, we wouldn't be able to stop her. Better for her to be where we can see her than for her to travel alone. Besides, it is rather cruel of us warriors to outnumber the apprentices so severely. You deserve to have some cats around your age to chat with. While this may be a journey to save the clans, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it."
And thus, we left the clans behind. Where we were bound to go, I didn't have the faintest idea. The joy of having my best friend join us was counter balanced by the weight and temptation the claws clicking on my right paw presented. Even fate could not predict what was to come. I'd have to keep my claws sharp and remember my restraint. Father, Dad, Stonestep, and the whole of Thunderclan believed in me. I would not let them down.