Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.
Warnings: Mature Content- This chapter has delicious explicit Yaoi Lemon, SasuNaru style. Prepare yourself ;)
It's All In Your Head
Chapter 20: Trust
--
Sasuke buried his head in his hands. This is my fault.. this is all my fault. He moved from his chair in the corner and lowered himself onto the edge of the hospital bed. He carefully reached down and brushed back long blonde hair, gazing down at the face of his most important person.. his only person.
The person he nearly lost.
Itachi's words echoed in his mind, over and over. And the truth of it ate at him. "You weren't strong enough to stop me before, and you're not strong enough to stop me now.
You let our parents die, and you almost did the same to Naruto."
Sasuke clenched his jaw tight as his fingers ran down the side of Naruto's pale face.
"If you don't get stronger, you will lose everything."
"I can't lose you, Naruto" he whispered. "I can't let him take you from me too."
Naruto's eyes slowly fluttered open. He blinked through the fog until he could clearly make out Sasuke's face. A sight for sore eyes, he thought.
The Uchiha raised an eyebrow. "They have you on quite a few drugs." He pushed back long blonde bangs, running his fingertips through his soft disheveled hair. "You're gonna be out of it for some time."
Drugs wore off a while ago, Naruto thought. He opened his mouth to speak, but his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Water, please.
Sasuke reached over and grabbed his cup, carefully holding the straw as Naruto wet his mouth. He pulled back and Sasuke dropped it back onto the table, before turning back to the blonde.
"Sa-Sasuke" Naruto croaked, "it's not your fault."
His jaw tightened. Yes. It is.
Naruto shook his head. "No. Sasuke, it's.. it's mine."
The Uchiha's eyes hardened. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Words were a bit of a challenge, so he chose to think it instead. When I see you get hurt, I lose control of Kyuubi. That's what Itachi was trying to do. He only hurt you to make the Nine Tails come out.
That's why I stepped in front of you, Sasuke. I knew what he was going to do.
Sasuke studied him, his eyes dark and unreadable as the blonde continued.
I just couldn't.. I couldn't let you get hurt because of me.
"You don't get it, Naruto."
The blonde looked up, surprised. What do you mean?
"I was so.. so fucking weak. He could have killed you. Just like everyone else. He could have fucking killed you and I was completely powerless to stop him." Sasuke roughly dragged his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his rising anger. "I thought I had gotten stronger, but I did nothing. He overpowered me, he hurt you, and I just fucking let him."
Naruto tried to sit up but winced and fell back onto the bed. Sasuke pulled away from his thoughts and went back to tending to his blonde. "I'm sorry- I shouldn't be complaining. Just.. just focus on recovering, ok?"
Naruto reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together. Sasuke looked down at them, surprised. His eyes shot up. "Naruto?"
"Sasuke, you rescued me. Itachi wants the Nine Tails- he was never going to kill me. But I- I would still be in that cell if it wasn't for you."
And who knows what he would have done to me, Naruto thought, how far they would've gone to get to Kyuubi.
Sasuke flinched at the thought.
Naruto rubbed his thumb across the top of Sasuke's hand.
"That's not what I want to say" he whispered. Once again, it was easier to just let Sasuke read his scrambled thoughts. Sasuke.. I- it took being in a cage for me to realize how much of a monster I've been towards you.
Sasuke stared at him. "What are you talking about? You haven't-"
"Yes, I have." I've done nothing but push you away.
Sasuke looked away. "Naruto, I have been.. aggressive with you. And I shouldn't have been. Not after everything you've been through."
He gave the blonde's hand a gentle squeeze. "I should have been more patient with you. It wasn't fair for me to push so hard."
A silence settled between them as Naruto worked up the nerve to move forward.
With this conversation.
With Sasuke.
With his life.
"Sasuke?"
Deep obsidian eyes met wide blue ones. They narrowed at the intense look he saw in them. Sasuke wasn't sure how to read that look, and Naruto had abruptly cut him off from his thoughts.
"Naruto?"
Color rose to the blonde's cheeks, confusing the raven even more. "I-" he squeezed Sasuke's hand. Come on- just tell him already!
"I want you to kiss me."
Dark eyes widened. "What?" he breathed.
Naruto's blush deepened. "I said, I want you to kiss me."
Sasuke couldn't stop staring, and for a moment he was rendered speechless. He blinked and finally found his voice. "Are you sure?"
Naruto nodded.
"And this isn't some pity thing, right? Like you actually want to-"
"I actually want to."
".. really?"
"Really."
"And this isn't some-"
"Oh my fucking god, Sasuke- just kiss me!"
"Umm.. ok. Yeah, ok."
Naruto struggled to sit up, and Sasuke reached out to help him. Once he was propped up against a mound of pillows, the Uchiha scooted closer, watching the blonde carefully to gauge his reactions. But he didn't seem afraid at all. He looked a little shy, kind of impatient, but he seemed sure too.
Sasuke shifted even closer and slowly reached out to cup Naruto's face, burying his fingertips in his hair. He was careful to avoid the injury on the back of his head. Naruto leaned his face into his hand and offered a small smile, which gave Sasuke the courage to keep going. He tilted his head as he moved closer, pulling Naruto towards him. When their lips were close enough to lightly brush against each other, he paused.
Sasuke? Naruto looked up at him, deep blues filled with confusion.
Is this really what you want, Naruto?
"Yes" he breathed, then he leaned forward and captured the raven's lips himself.
Sasuke was shocked, but he got over it quickly.
Naruto's soft lips pressed firmly against his and he felt a jolt of pleasure course through his entire body. He leaned in and moved his mouth against the blonde's, deepening the kiss.
"Mmmnn" Naruto moaned against him, making Sasuke's knees weak and his core tighten.
It started slow, gentle, but Sasuke couldn't hold back for long- especially with Naruto making those fucking noises. A fierce hunger took over him, and his mouth moved harder against Naruto's, his kissing more urgent. He flicked his tongue out, trying to coax the blonde to open his mouth, and was surprised when he did.
Without hesitation, Sasuke plunged his tongue deep inside, exploring every last inch of him. Their tongues met, and a groan slipped from Sasuke's mouth and into Naruto's.
Fuck, you feel so good.
Blue eyes widened, shocked by Sasuke's thoughts, and a little alarmed by how fast things were moving. But the thought faded fast as Sasuke pulled Naruto's own desires to the surface.
Sasuke noticed and saw it as a perfect opportunity to take things a step further.
Keeping their mouths locked together, he slowly climbed up onto the cot and lowered himself on his side, drawing the blonde close. Naruto turned towards him, and Sasuke pulled him in until their bodies were flush against each other. Naruto gasped at the feel of Sasuke's hardening want pressing against him, and Sasuke immediately wanted more. He jerked his hips forward- unintentionally slamming against the wound on Naruto's stomach.
"Mmmpph!" Naruto flinched back, gripping the thick bandage across his middle.
Sasuke froze. "Shit, sorry" he breathed, "I.. I wasn't thinking."
"Nnnn" Naruto bit down on his lip, trying to force down the pain, "I- I'm ok."
But he didn't look ok. All the color had drained from his face again, and his hands shook as they pressed against his stomach. Sasuke could tell he was trying to hide it, but he could see the pain in his eyes clear as day.
"I'll go get a nurse."
Sasuke awkwardly slipped off the bed and raced over to the door. He glanced down, adjusted himself, then left the room in search of a medic.
Naruto leaned back against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling. Doing his best to ignore the pain, he let his mind wander back to what it felt like to have Sasuke's mouth move against his own, his body pressed firmly against him, his tongue inside of him.
It actually felt really good..
Sasuke smiled. Yeah. It did.
--
They kept Naruto in the hospital for several more days, despite the blonde's many protests and his two escape attempts. Both times Sasuke ended up being the one to drag him back to his hospital bed, and both times his little blonde wasn't happy about it.
"This is fucking pointless!" he shouted after his latest failed escape. "I don't need to be here!"
"Naruto! What fucking reason would the doctors have to lie to you?! If they say you require medical care, then you need fucking medical care!"
"You know these people hate me" Naruto argued. "They only want me to stay because they know I want to leave!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "God, you're fucking impossible.. fine."
Naruto sat up. "Wait, really."
Sasuke nodded. "One more day, and then I'll take you out of here."
"Another day?! Ughhh- come on, Sasuke! I've already been here forever!"
The raven busied himself pouring water to avoid punching the blonde nuisance. "Just get through today. I'll get you out first thing tomorrow."
"How about I get through the morning, and you get me out tonight."
Sasuke walked over and slammed the water cup down on the table. "How about I let you fucking rot in here!"
Naruto glared at him. "Don't be an asshole, teme."
"Don't be annoying, dobe."
The two glared at each other, the tension between them palpable.
"You want to make out?"
Sasuke kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the cot. "I thought you'd never ask."
--
Sasuke kept his word, and the next day he managed to get Naruto released from the hospital. He was still on the mend, so they prescribed a handful of painkillers and something to help him sleep. Naruto refused to touch the sleeping pill, preferring to wake up fast if he sensed a threat nearby, but he was happy to take a painkiller from time to time. Or at least until the Nine Tails finished healing him. It was taking a lot longer than it usually would. Naruto had a feeling it was because the beast was still salty that his host forced him back into his sealed cage.
Luckily, he had Sasuke and meds- so he knew he'd be fine.
The Uchiha kept a firm hold on him as he carefully led him home.
Home.
It's still kind of weird that we live together, Naruto thought. Especially now that we're.. He blushed.
I think it makes it better, Sasuke thought back. Now I can kiss you anytime I want.
Naruto shoved him. "Shut up, teme."
The two fell into a peaceful silence as they walked the rest of the way to the Uchiha manor. Or what Naruto first thought was peaceful. He glanced over at the raven and saw that he was deep in thought- his brows furrowed over dark impenetrable eyes.
Sasuke had been shutting Naruto out of his thoughts more lately, and it was obvious that he was trying to get him not to notice. It would happen randomly inbetween conversations- like just now. And every time he did, Naruto got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. His instincts told him that something was wrong, that this was something to worry about, but he couldn't get a read on Sasuke.
Which only made him worry more.
"Sasuke?"
"Hm?"
"Is something wrong?"
The raven glanced over. "Why do you ask?"
You're really going to make me say it?
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Say what?
Naruto stopped and turned to face him. "You're hiding something."
Sasuke stopped, but kept his head down, letting heavy raven curtains hide his face. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Naruto stepped forward and brushed back his hair, forcing obsidian eyes to meet his own. "Yes. You do."
The Uchiha sighed. He reached out and grabbed Naruto's wrist, gently pulling his hand away from his face. "I just have a lot on my mind, ok? You're healing- you should just be focusing on that."
"Sasuke, don't shut me out. Please. Let me help you."
Sasuke's expression darkened, surprising the blonde. "I don't need your help."
Naruto stared up at him, feeling unsure. Then Sasuke turned and, keeping a firm grip on his wrist, pulled Naruto the rest of the way to the house.
It's about Itachi, isn't it?
Naruto, stop.
Don't let him get in your head. He wants you to doubt yourself, Sasuke. Can't you see that? Don't let him-
Naruto, I get it! Just fucking stop!
The blonde's thoughts and voice fell silent, and Sasuke went back to forcing his thoughts back too. But not before Naruto caught one final thought-
I have to get stronger, no matter what it takes. I have to stop him.
Before Itachi takes the only person I have left.
--
The two were quiet with each other for a while, but they couldn't stay away for long. Sasuke decided to feed his dejected blonde homemade ramen, which seemed to boost his spirits, and Naruto cuddled close to the raven, which did the same for him.
Naruto was in no shape to spar, so the two passed the time talking, sticking with mostly innocent topics, which eventually veered into them mocking each other. Sasuke ended up tackling the mouthy blonde, careful not to hurt him, and the two grappled for dominance- which led to tongues doing the same.
Sasuke pulled back to catch his breath and gazed down at his beautiful blonde. "Naruto" he murmured.
"Mmm?"
"Do you want to, maybe, take this into the bedroom..?"
Naruto froze and stared up at him. "What?"
"It doesn't have to.. we don't have to take things all the way. Maybe we could just kiss?" And see where that takes us.
"I heard that."
"I know."
Naruto considered the raven for a moment, then slowly nodded. "Ok, but if I need to stop-"
"I promise" Sasuke said, his eyes serious and incredibly intense. "I won't force you to do anything you don't want to."
Naruto stared up at him with those huge innocent eyes, and Sasuke could see a trace of fear in them. It bothered him. A lot. He forced down the ache rising in his chest. "Naruto, you can trust me."
The blonde pushed himself up and gave the Uchiha a soft shy kiss. "I trust you."
Sasuke pulled him to his feet, past the kitchen, and down the hall.
Ok, now I'm nervous, Naruto thought. Now I'm really really nervous.
Sasuke paused for a moment outside of his own bedroom, then seemed to change his mind and brought them over to Naruto's room instead.
Naruto looked over at him questioningly.
"I just figured you'd be more comfortable in your own space."
That helped ease some of his fear, but as they made their way over to his bed it came back full force. Sasuke released his grip on the blonde, walked over, and sat down on the edge of the mattress. He patted a spot by his side. "Come sit with me."
Naruto swallowed as he made his way over. He sat down, his body stiff. Sasuke turned to face him, and gently held onto his hand. Naruto turned to face him too, trying his best to remind himself that it was just Sasuke. That he liked Sasuke. That he was safe with Sasuke.
You are safe with me, Naruto.
Naruto took a deep breath. I know.
"Can I kiss you?" Sasuke asked softly. Naruto nodded, and Sasuke moved closer, keeping his eyes locked on the blonde's face.
It's just me, Naruto.
He leaned in, tilting his head as he lined up their mouths.
It's just me.
Then he kissed him. He waited for Naruto to warm up to him before wrapping an arm around his waist, careful to avoid his healing wound. He pulled him close and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck as he deepened the kiss.
Naruto mewled as their tongues met and Sasuke took that as encouragement. He pulled Naruto onto the bed and laid him down on his uninjured side, pulling him close. He expected the blonde to freeze, but he didn't. Instead, he buried his hand in soft dark hair and moved his mouth with Sasuke's.
"Mmmmnnn."
Sasuke's muscles clenched as Naruto's moan reverberated through his entire body.
God, I love the sounds you make.
Naruto blushed, and Sasuke could feel him start to pull back. Don't get shy, dobe. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
Naruto turned away, catching his breath. "Shut up, teme."
He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him in for a bruising kiss. Sasuke's eyes widened with surprise, then slowly closed as this more aggressive Naruto refueled his desire. He grabbed the blonde's waist and jerked him close, pressing their cores flush. He rolled his hips and could feel his cock swell at the contact.
When Naruto started to move with him, Sasuke lost all semblance of self-control. He rolled on top of him, propping himself up on his forearms, while situating himself between the blonde's legs. Naruto gasped in surprise as Sasuke roughly thrust against him. He could feel Naruto getting hard beneath him, and moved against him more, wanting to draw out the same lust in his blonde that kept shooting through him.
Naruto lifted his hips as another breathy moan slipped from his lips. "Nnn.. Sasuke.."
The raven dropped his head against the blonde's neck, as he fought to hold himself back. Goddamnit, Naruto. You can't do that.
Do what?
Don't say my name like that.
"W-why?" Naruto murmured, fighting back another moan.
Sasuke bit his lip. "Because I don't know if I can control myself if you do."
Naruto stared up at him with half-lidded lust-filled eyes, his hair tossled across his forehead, cheeks flushed.
Dammit.
Naruto ran a hand down the side of the raven's face. "What's wrong?"
"You look so.. so.." fucking hot.
Naruto's blush deepened.
"I want to feel closer to you."
"Closer" Naruto repeated, not quite understanding.
Sasuke reached down and tugged at Naruto's waistband. "Can I take these off?"
The blonde froze, and Sasuke hurriedly added, "you can keep your boxers on. It's just.. it'll feel good when I-"
"When you..?"
Sasuke ground his cock against the blonde's. "When I do that."
Naruto thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah" he breathed, "yeah, ok."
Sasuke flicked open the button, yanked down the zipper, and pulled Naruto's pants off, tossing them to the side. He quickly did the same, tearing off his shirt along with it, as his eyes hungrily ate up the sight of him.
"Fuck, you look so good."
Naruto ran his eyes down Sasuke's smooth chest and toned stomach, past his narrow hips, down to the huge erection barely contained by tight dark briefs. His eyes shot back up. "You.. look a lot better."
Sasuke grinned. "Dobe."
He lowered his body onto Naruto's and pressed their hips close, forcing their pulsing members firmly against each other. Pleasure rushed through him, curling in his toes and flashing behind his eyes. "Oh my god.."
He moved against the blonde, slow at first, but lust took over fast. Sasuke growled as he grabbed his hips and shoved against him hard. He rhythmically thrust against him over and over, losing himself in the feel of him.
"Ahhh! Sasuke! Pl-please.."
"Tell me" he breathed, his voice low and husky.
"God, Iwantyousobad."
Sasuke froze mid-thrust. "What?"
I want you.
Sasuke swallowed. Like you want to..?
Mmmm.. Yea-yeah. I really want to.
You're sure?
"Please.." he gasped.
Sasuke jumped to his feet. "Hold on." He raced down the hall, rummaged through his bathroom, then raced back. Naruto pushed himself up on his elbows. "What's that?"
Sasuke held up the bottle. "Lube." Naruto looked confused, so he added, "to make sure it doesn't hurt."
Naruto nodded. "Ok."
Sasuke climbed back on top of him before giving him a deep searing kiss. He moved his mouth down his neck, tracing the freckles that slid across his chest and down his stomach. He grabbed his boxers with his teeth and looked up. Naruto blushed and nodded. Sasuke yanked down his boxers, revealing the blonde's swollen cock. Naruto looked away, embarrassed.
Sasuke grinned, then dragged his tongue up its length. Naruto jolted and stared down at him. "Sasuke, what are you-"
Sasuke pulled the tip of Naruto's want into his mouth and sucked hard before moving down.
"Ahhhhh!" Naruto gasped.
Sasuke paused, then pulled his head up, and slammed his mouth back down to the base. Naruto cried out as Sasuke's mouth moved faster, swallowing his length over and over. He buried his hand in his silky hair, pulling him close, wanting more, needing more.
Please, Sasuke. Ahhh, nnnnn!! Please!
Sasuke moved his hands under the blonde's ass and lifted him closer as he bobbed his head faster. Naruto threw his head back and screamed as Sasuke's mouth filled with his release. He swallowed it down greedily and licked his lips.
Naruto's entire body shook. He glanced down at the Uchiha. "That- that felt so good.."
Sasuke pulled his boxers down and tossed them to the side, a mischievous grin tugging at the side of his face. "That was just the beginning."
Naruto watched with wide eyes as Sasuke knelt between his legs and pulled over the bottle of lube.
He poured a generous amount in his hand and coated two fingers. Naruto looked at those wet fingers, then at Sasuke's lust-filled eyes, then back at his fingers.
"Have you ever done this before..?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke shook his head. "Have you?"
"Never.." He could feel past horrors crawling into his mind and fought to push them back. Don't think about it, please don't think about it.
"Naruto-"
The blonde looked up.
"Say my name."
"What?" he asked, thrown off by his demand.
"Say my name."
"Sasuke?"
The raven nodded. "Again" he murmured.
"Sasuke.." he breathed.
Sasuke leaned forward and kissed him. "Just keep thinking about me" he whispered, then he slowly pushed one finger inside.
Naruto's tight entrance clenched down hard. "Wa-wait! That- ahhh- that feels weird."
"Naruto, you've got to relax. Just breathe, ok? I promise to go slow."
Naruto took a deep breath, and on his long exhale Sasuke pushed further inside.
"Take another deep breath."
Naruto filled his lungs and Sasuke pushed a second digit in. Naruto gasped. "Ahh! I c-can't! It's.. nnn- it's too tight."
I'll loosen it.
Sasuke.
It's ok, Naruto. I promise- it'll start to feel good soon.
Sasuke moved his fingers, stretching Naruto's tight little hole. When he felt ready, he carefully pulled out and coated his length with lube. He grabbed Naruto's hips and raised them, pulling him close. Seeing the fear in his eyes, Sasuke dropped his head down and pulled Naruto's limp cock into his mouth again. He sucked and licked until the blonde's length grew hard. He kept going, bringing his quivering blonde to the brink, then pulled back.
"Ahhhh- no. Don't- don't stop. Pl-please.."
Sasuke lined up his cock, pressing his throbbing head against Naruto's entrance. "Naru, take a deep breath."
Naruto took in a deep breath, and Sasuke slowly pushed himself inside. He stopped and clenched his jaw tight.
Fuck, Naruto. You're so tight.
It took everything in him not to slam his entire length into the blonde and fuck the living day lights out of him.
Shit.
Sasuke forced his body under control, and slowly pushed more of his length inside.
"Sa-Sasuke.. it-it hurts."
The raven looked down at Naruto's pained face. He gently brushed tears away. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Ahhhh.. Nnn-no."
Sasuke swallowed and pushed the rest of his way inside. "Uhnnnn! God, Naru.." I need you to take another deep breath for me. Nnnn- hurry, please.
Naruto took in a shaky breath, and as he exhaled Sasuke slowly rocked his hips back and forth. Naruto blinked past the pain and took another deep breath in and out.
In
and
.. out.
Sasuke timed his thrusts to match his breathing, pulling his hips back before sinking his length deep inside again and again.
Naruto started panting faster, heavier, gasping for air as Sasuke's want slammed into him over and over. He jerked against him, matching each thrust, and his breath grew ragged as Sasuke fucked him harder. Naruto cried out, but he couldn't stop, he couldn't slow down. Sasuke could feel his climax building, his primal side taking over as his cock strained to push deeper. He grabbed Naruto's hips hard and fucked him fast, slamming his cock deep inside, their cries of passion echoing around them.
Naruto's vision flashed white, and he threw his head back and screamed as his release ruptured through him. His body clenched tight around Sasuke's cock and before the raven could pull free he climaxed, filling the blonde trembling in his arms. Sasuke's seed slowly dripped out of Naruto, sliding past the softening member still buried deep inside.
Neither had the energy to do anything about it. Sasuke collapsed down onto his blonde and sighed against his neck as Naruto wrapped his arms around him.
"I love you, Naruto" he murmured softly.
The blonde smiled. "I-."
Sasuke dropped a hand over his mouth, silencing him. "Don't.. not yet. Give it some time, ok?"
What are you talking about? Sasuke, we fucked. What makes you think that I haven't thought about this already?
Sasuke pushed himself up and gazed down into those deep blue eyes, his hand still planted on the blonde's lips.
"Please, Naru. Not yet, ok?"
Hmph. But you said it..
Sasuke's hand slipped away from his mouth and gently tucked a blonde strand behind his ear. "Yeah, but I've known it for a lot longer."
Naruto studied the raven as he continued to finger his golden locks. "So, how long do you want me to wait?"
Sasuke gave a soft smile.
"Until it hurts not to say it."
--
Naruto jolted awake, and immediately knew something was wrong. He looked to his side- Sasuke was gone. Panic slammed into him. He wanted to believe he was freaking out over nothing, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible happened. He quickly pulled on his sweatpants and padded down the hall to Sasuke's room. When he checked inside, his breath caught in his throat.
It was empty.
The closet door was open, revealing a collection of empty hangers. His bedside table had one lamp, but nothing else, and the top of his dresser was cleared as well. Naruto rushed over and tore open the drawers. Nothing.
No..
No.
Why? Why would he just-
Naruto noticed something out of the corner of his eye. A piece of paper, sitting on top of Sasuke's otherwise empty desk. He walked over, his legs shaking, already terrified of what he'd find.
He looked down at a piece of notebook paper. It had two words spelled out in Sasuke's handwriting:
I'm sorry.
Naruto collapsed to the floor, his fingers digging into his chest, reaching for his shattered heart.
"Sasuke" he choked, "why..?"
Tears streamed down his cheeks, slipping away from their deep blue home, falling.. falling.. until they dropped into the overwhelming darkness.
And then they were gone.
And it was like they were never there in the first place.