Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 37: Decide

--

Naruto spun around to glare at the quiet raven standing beside him. "Why am I here?!" he shouted. "I told you I don't want you in my fucking head!"

Itachi's eyes hardened, anger flashing under the blood-red sharingan, but he managed to stave it off. For now at least.

"I didn't bring you here to go in yours" he said, irritation still evident in his voice. "We're here to go in mine."

Cerulean eyes widened. "What are you talking about? Why would you-"

The space around him changed and Naruto was suddenly sitting in a chair in a small room, Itachi sitting next to him. "You said you didn't believe me" the raven pointed out, "so I'm going to show it to you."

"Show me what?" he asked, feeling nervous.

Itachi glanced over at him, his eyes heavy with the weight of words unsaid and.. something else. Something Naruto didn't want to see. Itachi turned his attention back to the large wall in front of them, watching an image, a memory, come to life.

"The truth."

--

"I asked you a question, Kakashi" Sasuke snapped, his patience beyond worn thin, "what are you doing here?"

The jonin signaled for his team to stay back then looked around to see if Sasuke was also accompanied, but there was no sign of anyone else. He turned his attention back to the raven, understanding flickering in his mismatched eyes. "I assume it's the same as you, Sasuke."

"Which is?"

"Looking for Naruto."

Something pained flashed in the Uchiha's eyes, and Kakashi could see his jaw tighten as he tried to force the emotions back. He nodded. "So, he was with you."

The Uchiha chose not to answer, but he didn't need to- it was written all over his face.

"Is he with Orochimaru?" Kakashi asked.

"No" Sasuke said between clenched teeth. "Orochimaru is no longer a concern."

The jonin raised an eyebrow. "Really.." he said, his shock palpable. "So then you-"

Sasuke didn't go into it, but once again Kakashi could easily read it on his face. Though, to be fair, he has been able to do that for a long time. Or rather, he was able to three years ago.

At least that's one thing that didn't change.

He eyed the raven, not completely surprised to see the familiar anguish he saw back when he and Naruto first started to get close- when Sasuke finally realized what was happening to him. It would appear that's the same too.

Hmm.. you're not as different as you would like people to believe are you, Sasuke?

"Naruto didn't leave on his own, did he?"

Sasuke's sharingan spun dangerously. "No. He didn't."

"Then, who?"

"He doesn't need you or anyone else from Konoha" Sasuke snapped, gesturing to the people hiding in the branches above them. "This has nothing to do with you." He looked away, still trying to keep his composure in check. "I will be the one to find him."

Kakashi immediately understood what happened. It was obvious after that reaction. Sasuke only got enraged like this, and this insistent on fighting alone, when it came to one person. "Itachi."

Sasuke's eyes shot over to him. "I will handle this myself, Kakashi."

The silver-haired jonin crossed his arms, a practiced nonchalance in place- like he was once again a teacher reprimanding a stubborn student. "No, Sasuke. You won't."

The raven opened his mouth to argue, but Kakashi beat him to it. "How long has Naruto been gone? Do you even know where Itachi took him?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth together. "Five days."

"And are you any closer to finding him?"

"You think you could do better?!" Sasuke shouted. "What makes you think you can help me find him?!"

"Because I'm not alone." Kakashi said, nodding in the general direction of his group. "And this team has a lot of different skills. Skills that can help us track him down and take him back."

Sasuke's eyes shot back to the trees, considering the offer. He didn't want to work with anyone, especially people from the Hidden Leaf, but unfortunately Kakashi was right. He wasn't any closer to finding him, and he didn't know how much more time he had left.

Going against every fiber of his being, Sasuke agreed to his offer. "Fine. But this team will follow my lead."

"Our lead" Kakashi corrected. "You don't know them well enough to know what they can do, and how they should be commanded."

It made sense but yet again it wasn't something he was happy about. "Our lead then" he begrudgingly agreed, "but I need you and your team to understand something."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the raven. "I'm listening."

"I have no intention of going back to Konohagakure" Sasuke said firmly. "And I won't hand Naruto over to you either."

Kakashi stared at him, surprised. "You're going to try to convince Naruto to abandon the Leaf?"

The Uchiha's eyes hardened. "I don't really plan on giving him a choice."

--

"I- I don't understand.." Naruto said, eyes flickering across the image flashing before him. "What is this?"

Itachi glanced his way, watching for his reaction. "A memory."

Naruto met his eyes.

"One of mine" he added. "When I was part of Konoha's black ops. I took care of covert missions they didn't trust anyone else to do." His eyes hardened. "When the leaders didn't want to sully their hands, they would have me do it for them."

"What are you saying?"

"See for yourself."

Naruto watched as the village elders ordered Itachi to dispose of any threat to their leadership, to their way of life. He saw Itachi murder countless people in the dead of night on their behalf. And every time he returned they had a new name on the list. The memory quickened and he watched a compilation of all the times Itachi had to do despicable acts for the Hidden Leaf. Naruto could see the light fade from his eyes over time, the life pulled from him as he continued to take it from others.

The image finally slowed down and a final order was given.

"You are to annihilate the Uchiha clan."

A younger Itachi stared at the elders, unable to hide his disdain for his next mission. "Annihilate" he repeated, his voice strained.

"If you can not do it, we will find someone else who can."

Naruto could see the panic shoot through him, his mind scrambling to make sense of what was happening, of what he should do.

"What will you decide, Itachi?" one asked. "The Leaf or your clan- you cannot choose both."

"Why..?" the raven breathed, unable to find any other words.

"The Uchihas are a threat to the village. And, as you are well aware, all threats must be eliminated."

Itachi swallowed. "I.. I'll do it. But I have a request."

Several eyebrows were raised, anger shooting his way as their order- their judgment- was questioned. "What makes you think you have the right to do so?"

"You know what I'm capable of" Itachi said slowly, clearly piecing it together as he spoke. "I.. I'll be able to complete the mission fully, but only if you let Sasuke survive it."

"That was not the deal, Itachi. Your orders are to destroy everyone in the clan. We can not allow them to continue challenging our authority, threatening our way of life. If you fail, we could have a war on our hands."

Desperation sank into the dark pits of his eyes. "Please" Itachi begged, breaking his calm composure fully, "I will do what I must, but Sasuke has to be allowed to live."

The elders turned and conversed with one another. After some time, they came to a decision. "Alright. But we have a condition of our own."

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow. "Which is..?"

"You will take the fall for this, Itachi. The village, your brother, the world- all will need to believe that you are a traitor. We can not let people know that the leaders of Konohagakure ordered the assassination of their civilians. It would cause unrest among the village as well as in other nations, and our efforts for peace would then be counterproductive. Take the fall, and Sasuke will be allowed to live."

"You want me to be a traitor?" Itachi said, realization sinking deep. "I would have to leave the village. Considering how much you rely on me, is that really what is best for Konoha?"

"It is not ideal" one interjected, "but it is a must."

"Will Sasuke ever know the truth?"

Their eyes hardened, a collective with seemingly one hive mind. "No."

Naruto could see the pain in his eyes, one he could not imagine. He never knew his family- he didn't really know what he lost. But for Itachi it went far beyond that. Between his entire family and the village, he had chosen the village- the same one that deserted him for their own benefit.

It was.. awful.

Naruto watched a younger Uchiha smooth the emotions from his face and those cold lifeless eyes return. "Ok. When do I need to carry out the mission?" he asked.

"Tonight."

"Will you.. permit me the rest of today to spend with them? Before I.."

They didn't look happy about it, but finally agreed.

Itachi turned to leave the room but paused at the door. He glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes on the unfeeling, inhumane group before him. "I will hold you to your word" Itachi growled. "Sasuke will be unharmed."

The group nodded, and he left.

The image faded from the wall, leaving them in a quiet dark space once more.

Naruto jerked his head to the side to stare at the forlorn raven. "Is that true?" he asked. "Did the elders really order you to kill your own family?"

Itachi nodded.

"You.. you did that to protect Sasuke" he breathed, even more surprised now that he was saying it out loud. "You knew that anyone else would have killed him too, right? That's why it had to be you."

Itachi nodded once more. "Yes."

"Why are you telling me this?" Naruto asked, wide eyes staring up at him. "If you don't want Sasuke to know, then why tell me? Our minds are still connected. He is going to see all of this."

"I know."

Naruto tilted his head, studying the Uchiha the same way Itachi often studied him. "You want him to see it, don't you."

"Not exactly" Itachi said slowly, "but it might be better for him to know the truth. That's why I insisted that Sasuke harden his mind and strengthen his body. Why I used fear to do it. Sasuke needed to be desperate for it." He looked away. "I wasn't sure how long the elders would keep their word."

"You were protecting him."

"He's not the only one" Itachi murmured.

Naruto tilted his head, trying to get a read on him. "You mean, there was someone else..?"

Dark eyes met curious cerulean ones and the scene before them changed. The blonde gave him a confused look before turning back to watch another truth unfold.

--

"Alright team, we have a new addition" Kakashi said with a friendly smile. "Everyone, this is Sasuke." The team gave the boy they considered a traitor a fierce scrutinizing look, one that the Uchiha was quick to match.

Kakashi grinned through the awkwardness and began the rest of the introductions.

He pointed to Yamato first. "Sasuke, this is-"

"Don't care."

The silver-haired jonin frowned over at his stubborn student. "No need to be rude, now is there? Especially with the people who are here to help you."

Crimson eyes flashed with anger. "They are here to help you" he snapped. "And I don't plan on being around any of them longer than I have to."

Kiba snorted, nudging his massive dog as he glared at the raven. "Get a load of this guy. Thinks he's such a fucking bad ass."

Sasuke's eyes slid over to the brunette. "What was that?" he growled.

Kiba was not in the least bit intimidated. He crossed his arms and took a heavy step forward. "I said you're not as fucking great as you think you are, Uchiha."

Sasuke shifted out of sight and reappeared before the brunette could blink. He grabbed him by the throat and jerked him close, sneering down at him with the utmost contempt. "Is that a challenge?"

"Let go, asshole!"

Akamaru took a predatory step forward and Sasuke tore his long sword free, brandishing it at the beast. "I fucking dare you."

"Sasuke!" Kakashi suddenly appeared before them- one hand locked on the raven's wrist, prepared to remove it from Kiba's throat, the other forcing a kunai against Sasuke's blade. "We are on the same team."

"I'm not on a fucking team!" Sasuke snapped.

"Is this petty shit really worth Naruto's life!?" Kakashi shouted back, anger flaring in his mismatched gaze. "Do you have any idea what the Akatsuki will do to him if we don't stop them?! Because I do, Sasuke. Maybe you are willing to waste the time he has left, but I'm not."

Sasuke stared at him, completely shocked. He had never seen Kakashi like this.

"You are not the only one who cares about him" his sensei said, swallowing back the anguish and desperation crawling up the back of his throat.

Sasuke blinked and Kakashi's eyes suddenly darkened, tension pulling his skin taut.

"I will only say this once, Sasuke" he grated out, "I will not hesitate to leave you behind if you keep us from finding him."

The raven raised an eyebrow and slowly lowered his weapon. "So much for us bonding again, huh."

"I hope we can" Kakashi said quietly, pulling Sasuke's hand away from Kiba's throat, "just not at the expense of Naruto's life."

The Uchiha dropped his arms and, ignoring Kiba's pissy rants, focused all of his attention on the man from his past- one he felt like he no longer knew at all.

"You really do care about him, don't you.." He could already see the answer on his face but couldn't stop himself from asking.

"More than-" Kakashi gave a small, pained smile.

"…more than anything."

--

Naruto watched an image of Itachi slowly pushing himself to his feet, his face bloodied, his cloak removed, the dark shirt beneath it torn. He wiped the back of his hand against his mouth, looked down at the crimson smear, and hardened his eyes before finding the ones glaring back at him. "That won't change my mind."

"You are a fool, Itachi!" A voice shouted back, though it was difficult to make out who said it. There were several people surrounding him, all wearing the Akatsuki's signature black cloak, crimson clouds matching Itachi's spinning sharingan and the blood steadily slipping down his arm and from a gash in his temple. The group seemed apathetic to it, despite it being one of their own who was injured.

Or so Naruto thought.

"I'm the fool" the raven muttered.

He stumbled forward, his intense blood-red eyes finding each opponent, one after the other. He was outnumbered, obviously wounded, clearly exhausted, and yet somehow unfazed. He gave a wry tight smile to the men surrounding him. "If holding to our ideals, our purpose, makes me a fool, then so be it."

Naruto could see a blonde man step forward, his long ponytail snapping in the wind. He lifted his hand revealing a gruesome smile sliced through the center, its long tongue licking across his palm. Naruto shivered at the sight of it but couldn't look away.

"You are the one turning your back on the Akatsuki, Itachi" the man snarled. "Not the other way around."

In the memory, Itachi looked across the dusty land with a sad look in his eyes. He shook his head like a father disappointed in who his son had become. "This isn't the Akatsuki" he said, his voice pained and thick with sorrow. "We used to be about fighting hypocrisy, and protecting the people that were so easily discarded by their own. You all used to believe in something real. Don't you remember?"

He looked over at a thin man with long red hair and hollow eyes. "Nagato. Think about this. Torturing jinchuriki? Is that why you came here? To kill the innocent?"

The man flinched and turned away from Itachi's accusatory stare.

"The war that ruined your life- are you so ready to do that to someone else?"

"We don't need a lecture, Itachi" another man snapped. "Talk all you want- this still makes you a traitor."

The raven narrowed his eyes. "We're all traitors, Sasori. Because we turned our backs on corrupt leaders and their mindless little followers- or did you forget that?"

Sasori ignored him and looked to his far left instead. "Kisame, will you talk some sense into him? You're the only one Itachi ever fucking listens to."

Naruto recognized him immediately. It was hard not to. With a face the color of an angry sea, razor sharp teeth, and a sword the size of a bloated corpse, Kisame wasn't someone you could easily forget.

The shark-like man locked eyes with the traitorous raven and something heavy was shared between them. Clearly, they didn't need words. It reminded Naruto of how he used to be with Sasuke. Even back when they were nothing but rivals, before the telepathic jutsu, they could still read each other like that. The sight of it made his heart squeeze tight.

He missed that.

"And what exactly is Itachi saying that is so wrong, Sasori?" the shark-like man finally replied. "Would your village not see you as a traitor?" He looked around. "Are any of you any different?"

Deidara stared at the shark incredulously. "Have you not been listening?! Yes! One of us is different!" He threw his hand out towards Itachi, the mouth against his palm pulled back in a vicious sneer. "He betrayed us, Kisame! Not his backstabbing Hokage, us!"

Itachi took a threatening step towards the mouthy blonde. "In what way did I betray the Akatsuki?"

"You let the fucking jinchuriki go! All of them!! When we were so close to draining the little beasts right out of them!"

Naruto paled and jerked his head over to the real Itachi, but his eyes were still locked on the memory playing out before them. He swallowed and looked back as past-Itachi continued to draw closer to the blonde man.

"The Akatsuki are better than this" he growled. "You are better than this, Deidara." He grabbed him by the collar and yanked him close, staining his robe with blood. "At least you used to be."

"You can still fix this, Itachi" the blonde said, his temper cooling as he stood inches from his friend. "Bring in the Nine Tails kid-"

Naruto flinched.

"-and win back Madara's favor. It doesn't have to end like this."

"I would have stayed with the Akatsuki, the real Akatsuki, but I won't be a part of this. If you insist on hunting them, then you will do it without me."

Naruto could see anger flash in several pairs of eyes. He watched as men started to rush in on him from all sides, saw his cold eyes turn to Kisame, waiting..

And then the image was gone.

"What? Wait- what happened?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious? I left."

"Yeah, but how?!"

The raven tilted his head, his face completely expressionless except for his eyes- which held the slightest hint of humor and something else, something the humor was helping him mask. "Hmmm.. well, either they underestimated my abilities or they had pity on me."

The slightest twitch of a smile appeared, just for a moment, before flickering out.

"I'll let you decide which one's more likely."

Author Note:

TigerzzTail: I couldn't agree more. Naru has had a prettyyyyy fucked up life. Therapy would probably be a good start!

Saltysunday: I'm happy to see that I've made you curious with this one. Hopefully the upcoming angst doesn't disappoint :)

Naruhinakiralacus: Thank you so much for the comments and kind words!! So glad you are reading this and that you're liking it so far! I hope you enjoy the rest of it!

And to all lovely readers who have returned for the rest of this tale, as well as new readers who are catching it as the rest unfolds: Thank you for your time and attention. Both are valuable and very appreciated.

Alright, there's still plenty of angst and dramaaaaaaaaa on the way!~

"Shall we?" ;)