Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.
Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.
It's All In Your Head
Chapter 45: Spin
--
The illusion was weakening around them. Sasuke could see broken bits of memory collapsing- leaving behind traces of pain, the ghost of a smile, the briefest cry- before disappearing with the others.
He looked over, readying himself for an attack, but the Nine Tails had something else in mind. He appeared out of no where and grabbed the back of Sasuke's head, pulling him close. A Naruto that wasn't his Naruto brought his lips close to his ear, his sharpened canines just missing the lobe.
"What are you-"
"There's something he wants you to know" the Kyuubi growled.
Then he told him, and Sasuke could feel another reality shatter around him- his own. Haunted obsidian eyes widened with every whispered word, his horror and confusion steadily reaching a crippling crescendo. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. A shaky breath tried, but it got caught somewhere in the back of his throat and couldn't manage to find its way out. His mind was spinning, desperately trying to grasp onto something- anything that could help him make sense of all of this.
The blonde's hand slipped down his neck, pulling him back from his troubled thoughts. Sasuke watched it fall to his side, brushing against his crimson-stained fingers, a hint of the real Naruto somewhere still in there.
Sasuke flinched as a sudden piercing scream stabbed through the illusion. He had never heard Itachi scream like that and the sound of it now was jarring, to say the least. He looked up and found red panicked eyes. Itachi was clearly desperate to keep him from the truth- to leave him in that same overwhelming darkness. The one that he had been drowning in his entire life.
Pained charcoal eyes held onto those wide crimson one's, searching them. "Itachi..?"
He didn't understand. Couldn't understand. But he wanted to. For the first time since that horrific night, Sasuke wanted to understand his brother.
Their eyes met once more and then the illusion broke- sending Sasuke back to the other side of Itachi's barrier, and Naruto back to being trapped beneath him.
--
"Sasuke?" Kakashi felt the raven stir and carefully helped him find his footing. He grabbed his shoulders, holding him steady as he studied his face. "Did you see Naruto? Is he ok? What happened?"
"Did you know?" Sasuke said slowly, rage vibrating in every syllable.
Kakashi stared at him, clearly taken aback. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm asking you if you fucking knew!" Sasuke screamed, sharingan spinning as he glared up at the jonin. "Did you know what the village ordered Itachi to do?!"
Kakashi's mismatched eyes filled with confusion. "What? What are you talking about? Sasuke- is Naruto ok?"
"I don't know!" he shouted. "I don't fucking know anything!!"
Kakashi's fingers dug into his arms, trying to center the raven, to calm his frantic blathering. To get some actual fucking answers. "Sasuke, calm down. I need you to tell me what happened with Naruto first."
"He's Itachi's prisoner" he snapped. "The same as he has been for three fucking weeks. Nothing has changed. Except.."
"Except?"
"Was he ever really a threat to him..?" he thought aloud, the red slowly fading from his eyes. Which confused the jonin even more.
Kakashi's brows furrowed. "Sasuke. This is Itachi we're talking about. He has always been a threat to Naruto."
Those dark haunted eyes looked up at him, and Kakashi's conviction faltered. Am I wrong..?
"What did you hear?"
"Naruto told me that.." Sasuke knew it would sound unbelievable the minute he said it, but the way Naruto said it.. he believed him. And he didn't really know what to do with that.
He met the jonin's baffled gaze once more. "Konoha's elders ordered Itachi to kill my clan. My parents. All of them."
Obsidian eyes hardened.
"Did you know? All this time- has everyone known? Am I the only one to not know what actually happened to my own fucking family?!"
Yamato stepped up and dropped a hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm the situation. "Sasuke-"
The Uchiha slapped his hand away and spun around, glaring daggers. "Don't touch me!!"
Kakashi grabbed his arm and turned him away from his comrade. He gave Yamato a look, silently telling him to ease back- to leave the irate raven to him. And him alone.
"How do you know all of this?" he pressed, disbelief evident in his voice.
"I just fucking told you! Naruto told me!"
"But where did Naruto hear this? How can you be sure it's true?"
Sasuke gave him a sharp look. "Naruto would never have said anything if he wasn't absolutely sure."
Kakashi knew he was right. Naruto was too thoughtful to just spew rumors – especially when it came to something like this. He made sure to tread lightly when it came to other people's tragedies- having plenty of his own, he could easily empathize. He wouldn't bring up someone's trauma if he could help it, especially Sasuke's.
"I just.. I don't understand" Sasuke murmured. "Would he really kill our entire family just because the Leaf told him to?"
"He was Anbu" Kakashi said carefully, not wanting to set the raven off now that he had finally calmed down. "Following orders is all they know."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You seem to know a lot about it."
"I was one" he admitted, "many years ago. I was only allowed to stop because I chose to teach, but not everyone is so lucky. For many, once you join you are in it for life."
Kakashi glanced over at Sai and noticed that he had gone incredibly still, his seemingly hollow eyes wide and carefully blank- as if there were a mound of emotions he was fighting to hide just beneath its dark surface. Sai was an incredibly skilled shinobi coerced into becoming a member of the Anbu Black Ops at a very young age. He was forced to protect the village at the cost of his identity. Of his life. He had gotten out, but it was still a constant battle for him.
Hell, Kakashi wasn't even completely sure that he had left. Maybe he was granted some freedoms, but it still seemed like he was under their control. And he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to escape that. The thought broke his heart. Over the last couple years, Sai had become important to Kakashi. He didn't like seeing what the village had done to him- how they kept him from his own emotions, his humanity. With his and Naruto's help, Sai had regained a lot of what was lost but there was still so much that was beyond him.
And Sai wasn't the only one who had experienced that kind of trauma and control.
Itachi had also been an incredibly gifted shinobi, and like Sai he had been enlisted at a very young age. A young, impressionable age. Set aside the loyalty and brainwashing that went with joining the Anbu, if they had backed him into a corner, forced his hand- threatened him with something even worse than the destruction of his clan- yes, he could have killed them.
Kakashi knew Sasuke already had so much hate for the village, he didn't want to add to it, didn't want to give him another reason not to return to it, but it didn't help to lie about something like this. Because he was right- Naruto wouldn't have told him if he wasn't completely sure.
"You believe him" he said quietly.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Wouldn't you?"
Kakashi slowly nodded. "Does that change how you feel about Itachi?" he asked. "We are here to rescue Naruto, Sasuke. I intend on doing exactly that, no matter who has him."
The Uchiha looked away. "He still hurt Naruto. He.. attacked him. More than once."
Kakashi stared, eyes wide with horror, hoping that whatever Itachi had done to the blonde wasn't as bad as what he had faced in the past. He wasn't sure how much more Naruto could take.
"I can't trust him" Sasuke realized. "Even if.." He swallowed. "Even if it wasn't his fault. He could have resisted. He could have warned them- fought for them. He could have picked us.."
His jaw clenched tight as he forced back angry tears. "And he should never have involved Naruto in all of this."
Sasuke looked up, the red bleeding back into his inky black stare. "I don't know if I can still hate him for what he did in the past, but he made a mistake hurting Naruto.
That is something I can not forgive him for."
--
Naruto's eyes snapped open and he shoved hard against Itachi's chest, forcing enough room between them for him to be able to scramble away. He took a shaky breath, trying to calm his frazzled nerves. Outside of Itachi's illusion he suddenly felt vulnerable again, and he fucking hated it.
He could feel Kyuubi's power pulsing behind his eyes and morphing under his skin, steadily growing stronger. It wasn't enough to help him yet, though, which was incredibly frustrating. He had finally felt like his old self again when he was trapped in his own mind, but reality had other plans. Relentlessly cruel plans.
A sudden chill pulled Naruto from his thoughts. He lowered his gaze and was horrified to find that his pants were shoved halfway down his thighs. He quickly yanked them up and fastened them as he scooted to the far side of the bed.
Itachi still had yet to move, but he didn't trust it. In fact, it made him even more nervous- seeing him just kneeling on the bed like that, staring at nothing. Long ebony strands hid most of his face, but Naruto could see slivers of his pale complexion, and one blood-red sharingan shine out from behind it.
I need to get out of here, he thought. I need to get out of here right now.
Naruto carefully lowered his feet to the floor and bit back a scream as his shredded skin touched the surface. He had really fucked himself over when he insisted on bandaging them himself later.
Too late to change it now.
This wasn't going to feel great- he knew that. Whatever had healed was bound to tear open again, and the pain was going to be excruciating. Kyuubi's chakra was slowly returning, he could feel it, but it would still take time for his wounds to heal. It's ok, he told himself. Eventually he'd be able to clean and rebandage his tormented soles, and Kyuubi would take care of the rest. He didn't have time to wait for that now, which was why the pain was necessary, but it wouldn't last forever.
With the pep talk in mind, Naruto dropped his weight down on his feet. Pain shot up his legs, and another scream rose in his throat. He bit his lip hard to hold it back and winced at the new pain. He brought his hand up and wiped his chin, smearing blood across his bandaged palm.
His busted lip was from the illusion, and yet it was real. It should have surprised him, but it didn't. After all, this had been part of his training. Grounding in reality to take control in an illusion- that had been the basis of his training with Kyuubi. Back when he realized the Akatsuki were targeting him and other jinchurkis. It had actually been Kakashi's idea, and he had spent years working on it. In the end, he couldn't do it without Kyuubi. Luckily, the two of them had already become close by then.
The only reason Itachi had any semblance of control over Naruto was because he had been tampering with Kyuubi, restricting his chakra and stifling his voice. If he hadn't, Naruto would have been able to defeat him a long time ago. He was sure of it.
The blonde looked over at the raven, but he was still frozen in place. He knew he was struggling to process what happened in his illusion. How his power had been stripped from him piece by piece, and his plans utterly, irrevocably destroyed.
Because of the blonde he had been so hell bent on keeping for himself.
Bet he regrets it now, Naruto thought wryly.
Muffling his steps the best he could, Naruto strode across the room and over to the door. He kept his body turned, facing the ticking time bomb that would inevitably go off. He just hoped he could put enough distance between them before that happened, before the reality of his situation snapped into place and he realized that Naruto was to blame for a lot of it.
And Naruto definitely wasn't in any shape to fight the guy right now. Yes, Kyuubi had been powerful and fearsome in his mind- but it took time to go from a powerful thought to a menacing being. Naruto could feel his chakra returning, slowly, but it wasn't enough. It didn't help that Naruto's own chakra was still cut off by the thick band on his ankle. He could only hope that he'd be able to find something to pry it off as he escaped.
The contemplative blonde carefully moved past the bed and followed the edge of the room, staring at the Uchiha as he made his way to the only exit. When the door was directly behind him, he quickly spun around, and grabbed hold of the doorknob. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure Itachi was still on the bed, before returning his attention to the brass handle. He slowly turned it but stopped as it creaked loudly- the sound piercing in the silence. His heart and his lungs stopped. He looked back with wide fearful eyes and still- nothing. Itachi hadn't moved.
Naruto gave his chest permission to start beating again, swallowed back the remnants of his fear, and turned the handle the rest of the way before slowly pulling the door towards him.
He gave a quiet sigh of relief, but a hand shot out from behind him and slammed the door shut.
Naruto flinched violently as Itachi stepped in close behind him.
"Going somewhere?"
Author Note:
buzzk97: I am so happy to see that you're reading this one and that you're enjoying it! I hope you stick around for the rest, and that it does not disappoint. :)
Naruhinakiralacus: I absolutely love reading your comments & curiosities! It's fun to hear your thoughts about it, and I hope to hear more!
Bearlikespie: As always, I appreciate your introspective comments and incredibly kind praises. They always make me feel so warm, and truly seen. Thank you for returning to this story. It really means a lot. Xoxo