Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 48: Apologize

--

Itachi met Naruto's eyes and mouthed Mangekyou before the light could fully fade from his own.

In his world of illusions, Kyuubi faced a cage that tried his power and his patience, while Naruto was free to face off against Itachi alone. "I don't want to be here" he said quietly, unable to meet his eyes.

Without Kyuubi's power, which had felt like an impenetrable shield he could hide behind, Naruto felt wholly exposed. He couldn't stop seeing Itachi crawling on top of him, throwing him down on his stomach. He could still feel his hand in his hair, pinning his head down on the bed as his arousal pushed against him…

He swallowed and took a shaky step back. "Let me go."

"I would like to show you something."

Naruto shook his head, his gaze averted as he took another step away from him. "I don't want to see it."

"I know" Itachi said softly. "But someone should."

Naruto went to take another step back, but everything changed around him mid-step. He was now sitting in a chair, his head forced up. He wasn't restrained, but it made no difference. Itachi didn't want him to leave, to look away, so he couldn't.

"Itachi.."

"Just watch first." The raven looked over at him and Naruto was forced to meet his gaze. "Please, Naruto. I'm almost out of time."

Pained blue eyes tore through the raven before he made them refocus on the scenes playing out before them.

"Where's Sasuke?" Naruto asked, expecting to see him in his head now that they were close enough to connect.

Itachi pushed pale fingers through his long ebony hair and gave a heavy sigh. "Sasuke does not want the Mangekyou, so he shouldn't see this." He glanced at the blonde. "You're strong enough to keep this out of his mind. If his changes.. if he wants the sharingan later, then show him."

"Why are you showing me this?"

"I told you. I need someone to know."

"Why does it have to be me..?" Naruto breathed.

Itachi placed two fingers on his chin and brought his face towards him. "Because you're the only one apart from Sasuke that I have ever wanted to share it with."

And then Naruto was forced to watch a past unfold, Itachi's past, where he had done everything and anything for the sake of his little brother. Countless moments flashed before them- times where he had slaughtered any threat, where he had confronted people in his clan, in their family, who had even dared to speak ill of Sasuke with nothing short of contempt.

Naruto could see a young Sasuke running through the village, a wide grin on his face as he leapt into his brother's arms. Even as he got older and Itachi taught him to hide more of those childlike emotions, there was still so much love between them. And it was easy to see it.

He saw moments where Itachi would lie and face punishment in his stead, and times where he would give his little brother encouragement and praise when their parents failed to do the same. He watched as a younger Itachi snuck over to Sasuke's bedside as he slept, gently pushing back his hair to gaze down at his face. The habit started when he was small and, surprisingly, continued well into his teen years. Years after the Uchiha clan had been exterminated.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You snuck back into the village to do this..?"

Itachi nodded. "I came back often" he admitted. "To make sure he was ok."

Naruto shook his head. "That.. that doesn't make sense. You're the one who hurt him!"

The blonde forced his own memories forward, overtaking the raven's illusion as his body weakened from the outside. They could see an image of Itachi threatening to hurt Sasuke in order to force Naruto to unleash the Nine Tails' chakra. Of him later attacking Sasuke, going after him with a kunai.

"If I didn't jump in front of him, you would have stabbed him" Naruto shouted vehemently. "You could have killed him!"

Itachi shook his head. "I knew you would."

Naruto's anger faltered. "..what?"

"I saw your memories, remember? I knew what you meant to each other. I knew that you would jump in in his place, and that the Kyuubi would heal you. Sasuke was never in danger."

"You beat the shit out of him!"

"We called that tough-love where I come from."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're still trying to make it seem like everything you did was for Sasuke's benefit, but I don't believe you.."

Itachi looked over at him, noticing the pained expression on his face. "No?"

He reached out and grabbed the back of his head, jerking it to the side so their eyes could meet once more.

Naruto flinched violently. He wanted to pull away, but he was frozen in this horrible fucking place.

"You seem frightened, Naruto" Itachi said softly. He lifted his other hand and gently traced the contour of his face, lingering on his jaw.

Naruto forced back tears as he quickly looked away. "D-don't touch me" he gasped.

"So, I do frighten you..."

"You- you tried to-"

Naruto pursed his lips together tight, holding back his fear. What the fuck do you expect? You tried to.. to fucking rape me. Why wouldn't I be afraid when you trap me in here like this?!

"I am sorry for hurting you, Naruto."

Itachi's hands slipped back to his sides, though the control keeping Naruto in place stayed put. "I truly am."

"Your sorry means nothing to me."

"I have done terrible things with a single goal in mind" Itachi admitted. "I killed my parents to protect Sasuke. I destroyed everything I cared about and made him believe I was a monster so that he could be spared. I lost everything. I left behind the only people who gave me a home after I was thrown out of mine. I killed.. the people I used to believe in..."

An image suddenly appeared- a horrific one. There were corpses strewn about everywhere- covered in blood. Naruto could make out their matching black cloaks just visible beneath their decrepit forms- covered in clouds the same color as the liquid pooling around them.

"They were going to kill you, Naruto."

The blonde looked over, surprised.

"You were their next target, and I couldn't allow that. It would have destroyed Sasuke."

The image faded, replaced with a memory the two of them shared. Naruto could see himself on the ground fighting off a Sasuke who wasn't himself- one controlled by Orochimaru. He watched Itachi barge into the room and slam a force of chakra into him, sending him flying. Saw him sever the chain that kept Naruto a prisoner in that room. Saving him- ironically from the same fate he almost faced with Itachi.

"That would have killed him too" the raven said quietly.

"That doesn't change anything" Naruto choked. He turned back to glare at him, angry tears filling his eyes, drowning the fear deep inside. "You are still a fucking monster. You- you were really going to do that to me too, weren't you."

"You tried to steal his hate from me, Naruto. I shouldn't have panicked like that, resorted to.. to that, but I needed a way to make him-"

"Fuck you."

A tear broke free of its bright blue prison and slowly fell down his face and into the darkness below- a fate worse than the one it started with. "I don't want to hear your excuses."

Itachi nodded. "That's probably a good thing."

Naruto's eyes flared with rage. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Itachi glanced over at him. "You really don't know?"

The blonde looked completely confused and.. scared.

Like maybe he does know, deep down, and doesn't want to see it.

Doesn't want anyone to see it.

"Don't worry" he said gently, "no one else can see these thoughts besides the two of us."

Then he showed him.

--

Kakashi looked up and saw the faded look in Naruto's eyes, that far.. far away look.

"Fuck!"

He threw Itachi to the ground and shoved the kunai deep in his chest, straight through the heart. Whatever amount of life he had left in him disappeared almost instantly.

Kakashi looked back and saw Naruto fall to his knees, and the Nine Tails' chakra slowly dissipate around him. It didn't make him feel any less concerned. Naruto had clearly been pulled into one of Itachi's Mangekyou illusions, and time worked different in that world of his. Mere seconds could feel like a lifetime.

The things he could have done to him in there.. without anyone knowing, without anyone stopping him..

Kakashi forced down the horror and revulsion filling his mind and rushed over to his side. "Naruto, Naruto, hey- look at me. Are you ok?"

The blonde slowly looked up and Kakashi saw those broken blues fill with tears as he shook his head.

Kakashi could feel something in him break along with him.

"I'm sorry." He pulled the blonde into his arms and held him as those tears finally fell. "I'm so sorry, Naruto."

He could feel his hands grip him tight as Naruto buried his face against his chest, and he pulled him in closer. He moved slow, knowing that Naruto had gone through so much, that his space had been so horribly invaded- he didn't want to do that to him. But Naruto didn't freeze or pull away, in fact it seemed like every wall came down for Kakashi- the one person he has been able to trust all this time.

"I'm glad you're here, 'Kashi" he murmured against his shirt.

The jonin smiled at the nickname, which Naruto only ever used to convince him to buy him ramen. "I'd never be anywhere else, Naruto."

He glanced up and saw Sasuke kneel down next to his brother's still body- his eyes filled with hatred. And.. something else. Something he probably wouldn't even admit to himself.

"I'm just sorry I wasn't here sooner."