Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 68: Agree

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Sasuke straightened and turned to meet those wide blue eyes. He wasn't sure what he would see in them, and that uncertainty made him feel incredibly uneasy. Earning Naruto's trust had taken a long time, but he managed to get it back. Most of it. He didn't want this to destroy all of the progress he had made. Though, it wouldn't completely surprise him. Nor could he blame him for it. After all, the first time he had used that jutsu on Naruto it had been without his consent.

Sasuke held his breath as he met his blonde's gaze, preparing himself for the worst, but he was neither troubled by what he saw nor reassured. The moon had turned away from them and Naruto was once more cast in shadow. He would have to confront this blindly- a thought that weighed heavy on his mind.

"Naruto" he started slowly, "I-"

"Were you planning on using this?" he interrupted.

Sasuke rose to his feet as a chill ran down his spine. He didn't like how his blonde sounded, and the distance between them suddenly made him nervous. He couldn't shake the feeling that if he didn't move quick enough Naruto would slip away from him, and he would have no chance of stopping it. Sasuke tried to shut out the paranoia as he drew closer, but it didn't help when he saw him take a step back.

"Wait, let me explain."

"Were you even going to ask me?" Naruto choked. "Or were you planning on doing the same thing you did last time?"

"I wasn't planning anything" Sasuke snapped, irritated with the accusation. "I always have it with me."

Naruto froze mid-step, giving Sasuke a chance to get closer. "What..?" He blinked and saw that the raven had gained on him and went to put more distance between them again. He took another hurried step back, but Sasuke grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

Naruto dropped his gaze down to his hand. "You really expect me to believe you weren't planning something?"

Sasuke's grip tightened. "I expect you to trust me."

"Why do you carry it with you all the time?" Naruto asked quietly, not sure he wanted to hear his answer.

Sasuke eyed the blonde as he pondered over how much he should say. He decided to go with the truth. "Because I'm hoping that you'll want me to use it."

His voice was thick with longing and for some reason the sound of it made Naruto nervous. He moved to pull his arm free, but Sasuke refused to relinquish his hold. He wouldn't let him run from this. Not anymore. The truth was out, and this conversation has been long since overdue. They couldn't keep avoiding it- no matter how badly his dobe wanted to.

"Sasuke.." Naruto sighed. "Why do you even want to be connected again? Do you seriously not remember what it was like?"

He could tell he wasn't getting through to the raven and suddenly felt exasperated by it. "Sasuke, nothing was private" he shouted. "I heard and saw everything, Why the hell would you want that?!"

"It was uncomfortable at first" the Uchiha admitted, "but I.. miss it." He slid his hand down from his arm to his hand, intertwining their fingers together- seeking that feeling, that reassurance, that.. closeness.

"I like being connected to you, Naruto."

Cerulean eyes shot up and finally met his dark stare. The intensity of it settled heavy in Naruto's chest, but he couldn't seem to look away.

"I like that you understood me" Sasuke went on, "sometimes more than I understood myself. And I liked knowing how you really felt.. what you really wanted. You keep so much to yourself, and it drives me crazy. With this I feel like I truly know you." Sasuke brought their clasped hands close to his chest.

"That's all I want, Naruto."

He watched those wide blues fill with something besides alarm, and hope bloomed deep in his chest. He knew it was far too soon for that, but he couldn't help it. He was so close to actually making this happen.

He could feel it.

Sasuke reached out and tucked a stray blonde lock behind his ear, letting his fingers linger as he found the courage to ask. "Naruto, can you honestly say you don't feel the same way?"

"I.. I don't know.."

Obsidian eyes narrowed. "I know that's not true."

Naruto bit the inside of his cheek, refusing to admit anything.

"You want to reconnect too, don't you."

He shook his head, but Sasuke wasn't convinced. "Why are you pretending like you don't?"

Naruto went to pull his hand away again, but Sasuke yanked him back towards him. "Talk to me! Dammit, Naruto- I can see it! I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Why won't you just admit that you want to!?"

"Because I'm scared, ok!"

Sasuke froze. He had anticipated a number of reactions, but he had not expected that. "Scared?"

Naruto clenched his jaw tight. "I am fully aware that you like being in my fucking head, Sasuke, but I don't know if I want you in there!"

The Uchiha's expression darkened. "Why?" he growled. "Are you hiding something?"

"Christ. No, you psycho! I'm not hiding anything. But that still doesn't mean I want you to see everything!"

"I don't believe you."

"Great.. so much for trust."

"That's not what I meant" Sasuke said, already exhausted with this line of conversation. "Naruto, what's the real reason why you don't want to reconnect?"

He paused, not sure how to say it. Whether he should say it. "I.. I just.."

"You what?!" Sasuke shouted, feeling increasingly more impatient.

He hated that he couldn't tell what Naruto was thinking, and that he refused to share it. This was exactly why he wanted to use the jutsu again in the first place. He couldn't stand being so fucking disconnected. He was always in the dark and it made him so anxious all of the time. He knew it was ridiculous, but he needed to be back in Naruto's head. In fact, he was desperate for the chance.

"Dammit, Naruto" he snapped. "Just tell me!"

"Because I don't want you to fucking hate me, ok!"

Sasuke stared at him, bewildered. "Why the hell would I hate you?"

"It's just.. what if when you see what I'm really like you don't feel the same way about me.."

Sasuke grabbed his blonde and pulled him into his arms. "Baka" he murmured into his hair, "I've already been in that head of yours. I know who you are. I love who you are."

Naruto wrapped his arms around him and held on tight. "I do miss it" he mumbled against his chest, "all the time."

Sasuke buried his chin in his unruly locks as he considered his next move. "So.. what's stopping us?" The blonde tilted his head up and he leaned back to peer down at his face.

"I still feel like I should stop this.." Naruto murmured.

"But that's not really what you want to do, is it?"

Naruto bit his lip, an answer in itself. "Are we really going to do this?" he said quietly.

The raven studied his hesitant blonde, trying to understand. Wishing he would make it a lot easier. "I'd like to."

Naruto took a deep breath, steeling his nerve. "Ok."

Sasuke's eyes widened. He hadn't been expecting that either. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah.." he breathed out. "Yeah, ok. Let's do it."

"Right now?"

Naruto paused. "You still have the other scroll, right? The one that can break the jutsu."

The Uchiha nodded. He hoped he wouldn't have to use it again, but he knew it was smart to hold onto it. Just in case. Though, it definitely wasn't one that he carried around with him.

"Then.. yeah" Naruto finally agreed. "We can use it now."

Holy shit, it's finally happening.

Sasuke wasn't going to wait for the blonde to change his mind. He ran over to his pack, pulling him along with him. He grabbed the rolled-up parchment that Naruto had cast aside earlier and brought it and his boyfriend closer to the fire so that they could see it better. He had fantasized about using this jutsu again constantly, so he already had most of it memorized at this point, but he wasn't going to risk making a mistake. He couldn't let anything ruin his chance of finally being able to reconnect with Naruto.

Sasuke dropped to his knees and quickly pulled him down with him.

"Jesus, Sasuke. Just calm down."

"Not a chance."

He quickly unfurled the scroll and stretched it out on the ground between them. He then turned his focus back to his blonde to make sure he was situated this time so that he wouldn't go flying into anything dangerous. He had learned that mistake the hard way last time.

"Worried that you'll set me on fire this time?" Naruto teased. He couldn't help it- he hadn't seen him this amped up about something in a while. Well.. apart from their.. intimate times together. The thought made him blush.

Sasuke noticed. "I can't wait to know exactly what you're thinking when you make that face" he murmured, mostly to himself though Naruto heard it.

Those blue eyes widened and he could see that he was starting to question his decision, so he leaned in and distracted him with a kiss. When he finally pulled back, they were both breathless and ready.

Sasuke dropped his gaze to the scroll and started reciting the forbidden words. Naruto felt that same rush of anxiety come back as his mutterings picked up speed, but he didn't get a chance to voice it. Sasuke's hand buried in his hair, distracting him from all other thoughts. He yanked him forward and brought their foreheads together as he quickly said the rest.

Naruto looked up and saw Sasuke meet his gaze before whispering, "connect."

A blinding light shot through the clearing, and the two screwed their eyes shut to block it out. Naruto gasped as their bodies drew closer. He tried to pull away, but he couldn't separate them at all. He suddenly remembered what comes next and braced himself for it.

An invisible force shot between them and the two went flying back. They gasped for air as they fell heavily on their backs, but it was nothing too severe. Both carefully sat up, just to be sure, and when they found that they were free of any injuries, they made their way over to each other once more. Sasuke brought the scroll along with him and tore a kunai free of his pouch. Naruto glanced down at it, then up at his boyfriend.

"Ready?" his raven asked, clearly hoping for nothing short of a yes.

"Not really.." Naruto murmured.

Sasuke paused. "This is what you want, right?"

God.. I don't know.

He kept his doubts to himself and nodded. Sasuke didn't push it, eager to complete the jutsu before his blonde rethought what he agreed to. He cut into his hand, drawing blood, then handed the knife over. Naruto took it, did the same, and dropped it to the ground. They exchanged a final look before slamming their hand down on the paper. A sharp electric charge spread up from their fingertips, through their arm, and buried deep in their temples- forcing neuro pathways to rapid fire under the onslaught of the jutsu. Naruto winced and Sasuke forced back his guilt as they let the rest take its course.

When everything seemed to settle, Naruto pulled his hand away and sat back on the ground to stare at the bloodied scroll- a contract he wasn't sure he should have signed.

Did I.. just make a horrible mistake?

For a moment he thought the jutsu didn't work, and a mix of relief and disappointment rushed through him. But the sound of Sasuke's voice in his head changed all of that.

No, Naruto.

You didn't.