Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 73: Irritate

--

Naruto groaned as his bruised heart throbbed in his temple. He tried to will himself back to sleep, but he couldn't ignore the incessant clamor of the day- the birds bickering outside, the clinking of porcelain from down the hall, the scuff of a chair on hardwood. Typically that wouldn't have been enough to even wake him let alone piss him off, but today it instantly drilled into his skull and soured his mood.

With an exasperated sigh the irritable blonde moved to sit up, but a weight on his chest kept him from getting very far. He didn't have to look to know what it was, but he decided to do so anyways. Relieved that there were no windows to welcome in any unwanted light and make matters worse, Naruto peaked one bloodshot eye open and glanced down.

Sasuke was sleeping soundly across him- his arm wrapped around his middle, his breath teasing his bare chest. Long lustrous hair fanned out around a smooth pale face, textured and ebony in color- like ravens about to take flight. Though, the only hint of movement from Sasuke aside from the gentle rise and fall of his chest was the slight furrow of his brow as Naruto jostled him in his sleep.

It was, truth be told, a pretty endearing sight. But Naruto was too exhausted and annoyed to appreciate any of it.

"Nnnn. 'Ske, get off of me."

He tried to shove him away, but the raven just tightened his hold on him and curled in closer.

"Nghn, let.. go." Naruto struggled to break free, but Sasuke still refused to relent his grip.

He glared down at the now half-asleep raven. I know you can hear me, teme.

Unwilling to give up, Naruto squeezed an arm between them and attempted to wedge them apart, but still to no avail. Sasuke just readjusted and pulled him closer every time he managed to get any amount of space between them.

"Dammit, Sasuke" he hissed, trying to save his throbbing temples from the burden of his frustrated screams.

Let. Go.

"Mnhn" Sasuke grumbled. He pulled away from Naruto's pestering and buried his face in his hair.

Sasuke, wake up.

The stubborn Uchiha gave a slight shake of his head. "Mm-mm."

Naruto's jaw clenched tight. Sasuke, he mentally snarled. Wake. Up.

Mm-mm.

I swear to fucking god..

Naruto glared up at the cracked ceiling, narrowing tired half-lidded blues at its jagged smirk. "Do all of you just get off on making me miserable?"

Sasuke shifted against him again, pressing his hips close, and Naruto had his answer.

You have got to be kidding me..

Sasuke smiled against his neck, clearly not reading the blonde as well as he used to.

Can you really blame me? he thought, his cock straining against his boxers as he suggestively wiggled his hips.

He partially opened his eyes and glanced up at his blonde. He expected to see an eye roll in his feigned irritation, but nothing about that look was fake.

Charcoal eyes widened. Hey, what's wr-

Naruto roughly shoved the lustful raven away from him and jerked the majority of the comforter over as he shifted to the far side of the bed. Sasuke moved to scoot closer, but Naruto wasn't having it. Without looking back, he threw an arm out, enforcing the space he wanted kept between them.

"Take the fucking hint, Sasuke."

"I'm not trying to do anything" the Uchiha argued. You're warm. And you took all the blankets.

Bullshit. You were rubbing all over me! And in case you haven't noticed, we are not good right now, Sasuke. You fucked up. Did you really think that just changed overnight?

Sasuke paused. He gave a sad look to the back of Naruto's head then slowly retracted his hand.

…I wasn't rubbing.

Naruto glared over his shoulder. THAT is what you got from that?!

I'm-

Sasuke slid closer, pushing away the hand still trying to fend him off. "I'm sorry, Naruto."

"Don't."

Sasuke studied his face, noting the tension around his mouth, the uncertainty in those wide blue eyes as he slowly reached out his hand. Despite how uneasy he looked, Naruto didn't move to avoid his touch. Sasuke decided that was a good sign and gently ran his fingers down the side of his face. "You look tired" he murmured. "Let's sleep a little longer. You can push me away again after that."

He let his hand fall away and leaned back, waiting.

Sleep is just as likely as you actually fucking listening to me for once..

Naruto glanced back and met Sasuke's eyes. His dark, pained eyes..

Dammit.

Naruto sighed. He was still frustrated, but exhaustion was winning this round. He wanted to stand his ground on this, but he just didn't have the energy for it. And it was clear that Sasuke could see that.

With a final glare and another deep sigh, Naruto turned his back to him and dropped back down on the bed. Don't wake me up.

Sasuke draped an arm around his waist but kept his distance. He felt Naruto stiffen under his touch despite that, but he didn't run from it.

I'm sorry, he thought- the voice in his head barely a whisper as it slipped into Naruto's.

He thought Naruto might already be asleep until he heard a soft reply fill his head as well.

I know.

It was in no way an acceptance of his apology, let alone forgiveness for his actions, but it was an acknowledgment.

It was a start.

--

Naruto did manage to fall asleep again, but it didn't help. In fact, it made everything far worse. The walls of the cabin closed in on him in the dark and the arm around his waist became someone else's. He tried to remind himself that none of it was real, that he was just trapped in a horrible dream, but all rationality fled as a pair of crimson eyes smiled down at him. Rough hands pinned him down and a terrified scream snagged in his throat, suffocating him.

Sasuke saw his nightmare and tried to help, but he ended up just making it worse for both of them. His soothing sounds and gentle reassurances reached his tormented blonde, but not in the way he had intended. Because in Naruto's mind it didn't come from him.

It came from Itachi.

The nightmare changed with it, a drastic change that made Naruto's head spin and his heart leap frantically in his chest- a rabbit, restless and startled, in a far too small cage. His fearful blues widened with surprise as the menacing Sharingan slipped from Itachi's gaze and soft midnight eyes replaced them. Naruto watched with mixed emotions as Itachi leaned in, slowly so as not to scare him, and gently smoothed back his hair. His voice filled the space between them, tender and brimming with concern as he asked him if he was ok.

Sasuke's rage shot through both of them and the image shattered. Naruto jolted awake and jerked back to look at him, thinking he was someone else, and Sasuke's anger skyrocketed. Naruto immediately realized his mistake and scrambled to hide his thoughts, but it was too late at that point. Sasuke had seen everything, had seen the look on his face when he first mistook him for his brother, and it tore at him.

So much for being over Itachi, huh.

He watched those cerulean pools fill with a pain he couldn't understand before turning away from him. Without a word, Naruto shoved his arm away and hurriedly got to his feet. Sasuke said nothing to him. He just watched as he grabbed his clothes, wrenched the door open, and slammed his way into the bathroom.

Naruto kept his thoughts concealed, but he couldn't hide everything from him. He couldn't stop Sasuke from hearing his back hit against the door, or his body sliding down it, and he couldn't keep him from hearing the sob that slipped beneath the cracks.

--

After a while, Sasuke heard Naruto wander out of the bathroom and make his way outside. He considered following him. More than considered, actually. In fact, he was already dressed and halfway out the door before he realized that it was a mistake. Naruto already felt trapped and overwhelmed- chasing after him like this would only make it worse. Besides, he wasn't completely sure that he was ready to face him either.

Sasuke couldn't stop thinking about what he saw in that dream, and his blistering rage had yet to fully cool. In the end he decided to slip outside quietly and sit on the roof where he could keep an eye on his blonde while keeping a safe distance. He was sure that Naruto could sense that he was there, but he kept his thoughts locked away and made no move to acknowledge him.

Maybe it's better that way.

Sasuke dropped his palms against the roof's slates and leaned back to gaze at the stars above. He hated being trapped in Kakashi and Obito's little fucking bubble, but he couldn't deny that they had a beautiful view. He enjoyed sitting up there, consumed by the darkness pressing down on him, but he would have liked it more if he could experience it with his person by his side. If he could turn to see the stars in his eyes as he gazed back at him. If he could find the truth inside them and know for certain that he was the only Uchiha he saw when he looked at him.

That's probably why he wants to be alone, Sasuke thought. Because he doesn't anymore.

The thought sent a sharp pang of jealousy through him. He knew that being forced into a hideout like this again was messing with Naruto- that it was bringing back memories he had tried to bury. And he knew that it wasn't really his fault that it was all coming back. But it didn't make it any easier, and it was difficult to stay rational and reasonable when Naruto also remembered those moments that made him fall for Itachi.

It made Sasuke feel so fucking insignificant. Like he was his second choice. And no matter how many times he told himself that that wasn't true, that Naruto had chosen him long before all of that and that he only felt conflicting feelings for Itachi because he reminded him of him, he just couldn't shake the feeling. It wasn't fair to blame Naruto for that, but his emotions kept getting the best of him.

I don't want to ruin what we have, he thought to himself, careful to keep the thought from Naruto. But this is just hard.

He dragged his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. What do I have to do to get him to finally forget about him..?

He wasn't sure that there was an answer.

Sasuke closed away the rest of his ponderings and insecurities and turned his attention back to the stars. He let silence settle around him as he looked up at them, his gaze intermittently slipping back to his blonde from time to time to see that he was doing the same thing, before returning to the darkness once more.

After what could have been a millisecond or a million years, Sasuke noticed someone else emerge from the cabin.

Kakashi.

He watched the silver-haired jonin, or rather ex-jonin, make his way across the small clearing and straight over to Naruto. When he stopped beside him, he turned his head only slightly- enough to meet Sasuke's gaze- before dropping down to sit beside Naruto. The message was clear. He was trying to have a private conversation, and while he wouldn't forcefully make Sasuke leave, it was obvious that he wanted him to.

Sasuke didn't really care what Kakashi wanted, but he assumed Naruto would prefer some privacy as well and decided to do just that.

He quietly leapt down and wandered back into the house, closing the door softly behind him. He padded through the living room and paused when he approached the kitchen. His dark gaze slid over to the dining room table, where Obito quietly sat before a steaming mug. Their eyes met.

"Care to join me?"

--

"We should talk."

Naruto turned his head to the side just long enough to see Kakashi sit in the grass beside him before burying it in the crook of his arm again, making his utter lack of compliance very clear.

He had been outside for quite some time with only his carefully blocked thoughts to keep him company, and he had preferred it that way. He didn't want anyone studying his face as he watched the bruises of night fade. He didn't want them to notice the tears in his eyes when the stars lost their light as dawn replaced darkness. And he didn't want to explain the ache in his chest as he watched the beauty of an expansive violet night die.

Because it made him think of-

Naruto swallowed hard as he forced his thoughts back into the tiny vault he kept locked deep inside his mind. He didn't want to think about that. About him.

He just couldn't.

Not when he was in this fucking place. Not when it felt like everything was starting all over again..

Naruto had heard Kakashi approach him- he just chose not to acknowledge it. And the same went for when he tried addressing my him. Maybe I can't leave, he thought stubbornly, but that doesn't mean I have to fucking talk to you.

Naruto wanted to say it. To lose his composure and scream at the person who selfishly locked him away despite everything he has already gone through. To take out his frustration and fear on the one responsible for making him relive it. He felt a strong compulsion to jump to his feet and send his fists flying. To berate the man he had looked up to for years. To tear into him until Kakashi looked just as fucking hurt as Naruto felt.

But he wouldn't.

And that made all of this hurt so much more.

--

Sasuke considered telling him off and leaving, but in the end he decided against it. He had a feeling that Kakashi and Obito didn't separate like this often- this could be his chance to get some answers. Or to find a way to drive a wedge between the two lovers- enough to gain his and Naruto's freedom.

His mind made up, Sasuke walked over and sat down at the table. He eyed the set of porcelain teacups and the kettle still steaming in the center, then raised an eyebrow at the man quietly observing him. "How long do you plan on playing this role?" he asked bluntly.

Obito quirked a brow in return. "Role?"

"Kakashi's perfect little housewife."

Obito visibly stiffened. "Is that how you see it.."

Sasuke gave him a cruel smirk, his eyes cold and calculating. He wanted to hurt him, to mock and ridicule him. He wanted someone to feel as bad as he did. "Madara's right hand man. The leader of the Akatsuki. Betrayer of Konoha. A man capable of controlling the fearsome Nine Tails- now Hatake Kakashi's pet."

The vein in Obito's jaw snapped into place. His mismatched eyes flared with barely contained rage and he gripped his mug tight as he attempted to reground himself.

Sasuke either didn't notice or didn't care to. "Are we really supposed to believe this little charade of yours?" he snarled. "Hnn. Pathetic."

Obito's hand clenched tight and the porcelain cup shattered in his palm. Blood and scalding tea slipped from his grasp, staining the table beneath it, but Obito seemed to be completely unaffected by it. His focus was wholly locked on the other Uchiha.

"Interesting" he said darkly, "coming from someone with such a similar title."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Konoha's young traitor" Obito declared, just as condescending and cruel as Sasuke had been. "Puppet to a snake" he sneered, his disdain for Orochimaru made perfectly clear. "Trading his vendetta for his fallen clan for the bed of his little blonde friend."

He watched those charcoal eyes burn red, a sharingan similar to his own bleeding into those dark pits. Obito shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the threat. "Can't believe everything you hear. Right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke leapt to his feet and slammed his hands down on the table, upsetting the cups and sending tea spilling between them. "Say another fucking word about him and I will end your miserable fucking existence!"

Obito put his hands up in surrender, his dark eyes suddenly and inexplicably innocent. "I apologize if I upset you. I can see how protective you are of-"

He saw the Uchiha fuming with rage and retracted the rest of his statement. "I was merely pointing out how similar you and I are."

Sasuke eyes hardened. "Is that so.."

Obito rose to his feet, grabbed a rag from the kitchen, and calmly wiped up the mess they had collectively made of the table. Obito didn't look up as he spoke. He didn't need to. He knew he had the boy's attention, whether he wanted to give it or not. "We could help each other you know."

"And why would I want your help?" Sasuke snapped.

"The same reason I could use yours" Obito said smoothly. He set the rag aside and started collecting the remains of shattered cups with careful hands. "Neither of us deserve the person we somehow managed to get back. And I think both of us are afraid that the day will come when they realize that too."

Sasuke clenched his jaw. "I am nothing like you."

Obito paused and looked up. "Really? So you didn't abandon Naruto because you thought he couldn't accept you at your worst?"

He could see something flicker in those crimson eyes, but he wasn't done.

"And you didn't watch everything fall apart around you and come out of it wondering why you ever left him behind in the first place?"

Sasuke shook his head as he swallowed back the shame crawling up the back of his throat. "Stop."

"Can you honestly say you feel like your love for him is enough to make up for all of the suffering you've caused him?"

Sasuke took a shaky step back, overwhelmed by the suffocating truth. "That's enough" he choked.

"That you don't wake up at night wondering why he still chooses you after everything that you've done?!"

"I said, that's enough!!"

Sasuke's head shot up, his anger barely masking the pain in his blood-red eyes. He could feel his hands trembling and quickly forced them into tight fists. He turned away, letting his dark hair shield him from Obito's knowing stare. From the shame.

From the truth.

"I don't want to be like you.."

Obito gave a pained smile. "Neither do I."

Sasuke could hear the anguish in his voice and peered over at him, one crimson eye barely visible between long raven strands. He didn't want to pity this man, to understand him, but his heart squeezed tight at the sight of him. And that bothered him. Immensely.

"You want me to feel bad for you, but we are your prisoners" he pointed out, as much a reminder to Obito as it was to himself. "How can you expect me to feel anything but hate towards you?"

"I don't" he admitted. "But, Sasuke, you are not my prisoner."

Obito looked down, pulled a shard of porcelain out of his palm, and tossed it casually to the side before meeting his eyes once more.

"You're Kakashi's."

--

Kakashi has always been able to read Naruto better than anyone else, and he didn't need a jutsu to do it. Even without seeing his face he knew what he was thinking- though he supposed in this situation it would be pretty obvious to anyone. "I know that you're upset" he said, not knowing how else to start a line of conversation with his dejected pupil.

Naruto barked out a humorless laugh. "Upset.." he repeated. Like that even begins to cover it.

Kakashi buried his hands in the grass and lifted his head to gaze at the pink streaked sky beyond the barrier. "I didn't want to bring you to a place that looked like his hideout" he said quietly.

Naruto flinched like he had been struck. "I don't want to talk about this."

He moved fast, ready to run away from Kakashi and the memory he had brought back, but his sensei quickly grabbed his arm, halting his desperate retreat.

"Please, Naruto. Just hear me out."

The blonde clenched his jaw tight, forcing back tears. But, despite his better judgement, he let his sensei pull him back down beside him. He kept his face turned away, not willing to share his pitiful state with anyone. Not even the person he used to trust the most.

"I tried other hideouts" Kakashi continued, "but all of them just looked like prisons. I.. didn't want you to feel like you were-"

"A prisoner?" Naruto spat. "Are you fucking kidding me? I am your prisoner, Kakashi. It doesn't matter if it's a cabin or a dungeon- I can't fucking leave! This-"

Naruto's mouth curled in disgust. "This isn't any better."

"I won't keep the barrier up" Kakashi said, still attempting to assure Naruto that he hadn't trapped him in a nightmare. That this wasn't the same. "Just long enough for you to understand."

"Yeah, I've heard that before" Naruto muttered. He thought back to what he had reluctantly agreed to when he thought Kyuubi would be freed from his imprisonment. How Itachi pushed for more with empty promises of his return.

He had never intended to let him go- him or Kyuubi. Was he really supposed to believe it would be any different now?

"How am I supposed to trust you..?"

Kakashi gave him a pained look, but Naruto didn't see it. He wasn't willing to see it.

"Naruto. You can't spend your entire life in Konoha."

"Why? Because suddenly you don't want to?" he snapped.

Kakashi shook his head. "Because you can't win all of them over. You just can't."

Naruto clenched his hands into tight fists. He turned to glare into the forests just beyond his reach, unable to stand looking at the man by his side. "The generations who can't let go won't live forever" he argued. "Not everyone feels that way anymore- you know that!"

"Did you forget about the photo?" Kakashi said, his own voice rising. "They stormed your home, Naruto. They were going to do the same thing to you that they did before! Even with Sasuke there that time!"

"And I stopped them!" Naruto shouted back.

"How many times do you have to fight for your life before you realize it shouldn't be a fight?!"

Kakashi grabbed the back of his head and turned his student to face him. "Naruto. I don't want that kind of life for you."

Huge cerulean eyes looked up at him, a sea of emotions swarming in their depths. "Why is that your call?" he choked. "When do I get a say in my own fucking life?!"

Kakashi's one exposed eye flickered between Naruto's pained blues, reading him so clearly. Wishing he could do the same. "I would rather have you hate me than to see anyone else hurt you."

"You're the one who's hurting me, Kakashi."

Kakashi's hand slipped from blonde locks as the devastating truth of that echoed through him. Before he could even attempt to explain himself, to get Naruto to see why he was doing this, the blonde leapt to his feet and took off. Kakashi watched him run back inside then turned to face the harsh morning light glaring down at him, just as disappointed with him as he was with himself.

Author Note:

I'm back!!~

I'm so sorry, everyone! I know I kept you waiting for like an eternity. I got distracted by my other story and life and left this one behind for far too long.

But I have officially returned and won't get sidetracked again. Scouts honor!

~*snide neighing*

"It's an expression, Cinnamon. No one actually thinks I was a Scout."

~*mocking horse face*

~*flips off my own invisible angst stallion*

"Damn horse.."

Anywhooooo.. the story will continue! I have lots of wonderfully angsty things planned for it! So, if you were thinking that an ending is near I have to tell you- you are definitely mistaken.

Prepare yourself, people. Cinnamon will be taking the reins on this one veryyy soon. ;)