Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 82: Repeat

--

Naruto groaned, pain echoing through him as he slowly pulled his mind back from the murky depths. His eyelids felt like they were made of thick steel, far too heavy to lift, but it didn't stop him from trying.

And failing.

He felt like he was fighting to pull himself to the surface of a relentless ocean while a beast fought just as hard to pull him back down. He nearly made it to the top, or rather he assumed he was close, when another powerful rush of darkness coursed through him and yanked him deeper.

Naruto's fluttering lids stilled and what meager bit of consciousness he had found slipped away once more.

He wasn't sure how long he was out, but when he was conscious again he found he had a little more strength in him. Enough at least to fully wake up.

Naruto furrowed his brows as he forced his weighted lids to surrender and his unfocused eyes to finally open. Everything was a blur at first, his gaze as cloudy as his mind, but after a while his vision finally cleared and he was able to fully take in his surroundings.

And it left him feeling even more disoriented than before.

He didn't recognize the ivy covered walls nor the mismatched wooden beams that stretched across the ceiling. And the furniture was just as unfamiliar as the room itself. The bed he laid on wasn't his- even his clothes were different.

Naruto blinked.

My clothes are different..

He shot up fast, panic combusting in his whirlwind thoughts. A wave of nausea rushed over him in his suddenness and he immediately fell back, fighting off the urge to vomit. He managed to breathe through it, but all that did was clear his mind for something else- which ended up being nothing short of excruciating pain.

It felt like his hands had been torn apart, an agony he was all too familiar with. It was a lot like what he felt after Kabuto had tormented him- forcing metal spikes through his palms over and over..

Kabuto.

Everything suddenly came back to him in full focus- being strapped down to that cot, Itachi's return, the layers of Mangekyou illusions he had faced, the way they shattered around him.

The feeling of electricity pummeling through him. The kunai stabbing through his hands, nailing him to the cot.

Kabuto's tongue down his throat.

He remembered watching the vile snake meet a well-deserved end, and the satisfaction that came with seeing his demise.

And then.. nothing. He couldn't remember anything after that. Except..

Itachi.

And the last words he said to him before he passed out.

"Don't worry, Naruto. We'll get it right this time."

Cerulean eyes widened.

Oh my god, where the fuck am I?

Is Itachi.. is he really planning to do this to me again..?

He couldn't believe that it was starting all over, but that seemed to be exactly what was happening. Apart from a few variations, Naruto's past had inexplicably repeated itself.

Being abandoned- this time by Kakashi in place of Sasuke.

Being captured and imprisoned- behind Kakashi and Obito's barrier in a hideout unbelievably similar to the one he had been trapped in with Itachi.

Sasuke's callous comments, spewed in jealousy. Things Naruto couldn't forget.

Kabuto torturing him- blocking Kurama and keeping him from his protector as he savagely tore his hands apart.

Itachi jumping in to save him from being assaulted only to lock him away for himself.. And, just like before, Naruto's weakened state made it all but impossible for him to escape.

He was truly back where he started.

And it terrified him.

Naruto glanced down at his bandaged hands, the wrap thick enough to make his fingers nearly completely useless.

Just like before.

Luckily his feet were left uninjured this time. A small difference, but it might be just enough of one to change his fate. If nothing else, it gave him much more of a fighting chance.

The thought gave him some reassurance- enough at least to get him moving again.

Naruto slowly sat up, making sure to take it slow this time. He carefully avoided putting any pressure on his hands, favoring his elbows instead. When he was finally sitting up, he scooted himself forward, aiming for the edge of the bed. He kept his movements cautious and as silent as possible.

A sharp metal clink behind him instantly changed all of that.

Naruto froze, afraid to know the source and equally terrified of alerting Itachi. He strained his ears, listening for footsteps, but so far there were none. He gave a barely audible sigh of relief and looked over his shoulder.

His breath snagged in his throat.

Chains.

There were long steel chains trailing behind him.

Naruto's eyes slid up their length until he found their start point. The bed. He was chained to the bed. But this time it wasn't Sasuke doing it. This Uchiha..

This one he couldn't trust.

Being chained to Itachi's bed came with a rush of panic that he hadn't felt when he realized he was attached to Sasuke's. It had irritated him that Sasuke continued to play his role as Orochimaru's obedient little apprentice, that he felt the need to restrain him despite how many other things already kept him from leaving, but he wasn't afraid. He had no reason to be- not with Sasuke.

But this.. this was different. The implications this time were far worse.

Naruto swallowed hard, trying to force the terror and the bitter taste of his stomach back down his throat, as his eyes followed the chains back to him. He half expected to find it fastened to his leg, just like before, but he was wrong. The chakra-blocking collar that Kabuto had put on him remained, and this time there was something else along with it. Itachi's chain was connected to it- which he quickly decided was far worse than having it locked to his ankle.

In fact, it was horrifying.

Naruto couldn't help but imagine Itachi twisting the chain's length around his hand and yanking him down on the bed.

He wouldn't, he told himself. Wishing he could believe that.

Please, tell me he wouldn't..

But he wasn't so sure.

Itachi's humanity was now fragmented- pieces of it warped or even missing entirely. The person he was before had been kind to him at times, but there was also a cruelty there that he couldn't ignore. And when his feelings towards Naruto turned to one of affection and desire, he saw both sides of Itachi. There were times when Naruto found himself helplessly drawn in, and there were times when he was absolutely petrified.

Whatever Itachi was now, he clearly felt those same desires.

How far will he take it? Naruto wondered.

He stopped in the Mangekyou, but now that he has me chained up here..

Is he really going to-

"You're awake."

Naruto flinched violently. His eyes shot up to find Itachi standing in the doorway, his eyes narrowed- clearly disappointed with Naruto's reaction.

"I.. w-why.. am I-" he croaked, his throat like sandpaper.

Itachi stepped to the far side of the room where a pitcher and glass stood attent and waiting on a small table. He poured water to the brim and carried the cup over. Naruto reached for it out of habit, then eyed his bandaged hand. Itachi did the same, then gave him a pointed look. Without a word he brushed past the useless appendage and brought the cup to Naruto's lips. The blonde was hesitant to accept the offer, not wanting to do anything that might entice his captor.

Itachi's eyes flashed with annoyance.

He had no intention of giving him a choice.

He grabbed the back of Naruto's head, burying one powerful hand in soft blonde locks, and roughly forced it back. Naruto gasped, his lips parting just enough for Itachi to pour water inside. It went down too fast and Naruto quickly pulled his face to the side, coughing violently.

Itachi jerked his head back towards him, his obsidian gaze razor sharp as he brought the cup to the blonde's lips once more.

"Swallow it this time" he grated out. "Or I'll just do it all over again."

Naruto tried to ignore the dark perverse place his mind went to, choosing not to think that Itachi meant for it to sound suggestive. Instead he gave a small nod and gave in to his demands, drinking heavily from the glass.

Itachi watched far too attentively, and Naruto finally got to the point where he couldn't handle the discomfort. He pulled back and this time Itachi let him.

Naruto dropped his gaze, afraid to meet the raven's eyes.

Afraid of what he might see in them.

"What is this place..?" he said quietly. "Why am I here?"

Itachi lightly grasped his chin and brought his head up, forcing their eyes to meet anyways. Naruto shivered. Those eyes were dark, intense, and there was something burning inside of them. Something he didn't trust.

"This is your new home, Naruto."

A smile pulled at Itachi's pale face, one that didn't quite meet those fiery eyes.

"Our home."

--

Sasuke rose to his feet, brushing off the remnants of forest from the seat of his pants. "Let's go" he said, his voice sharp, easily cutting through the clearing

Sai sat up quickly and eyed the impatient raven as he checked over his supplies. "Sasuke, you've only been asleep for-" he glanced at his watch, "an hour. You should rest." He glanced over to the two standing quietly off to the side. "I don't mind keeping watch if you want to rest too, Kakashi.. Obito.."

Sasuke spoke before either of them could. "We're done resting" he snarled. "We need to keep moving."

"Sasuke.."

"Enough, Sai. Naruto has been missing for twenty-four hours. We've already wasted enough time."

It was clear that none of them were going to be able to get through to him. Not when Sasuke already had his temper heightened and his mind made up. So, the team quickly packed up their meager belongings and set off once more into the trees.

Kakashi's dogs had reported in the night before and the team quickly realized that their situation was pretty bleak. Kabuto was smart- too smart. He had managed to put several fake leads in place, likely guessing that Kakashi would summon his hounds to find the blonde. It appeared that he sent several shadow clones off with in various directions, all heading towards abandoned hideouts and old militia bases- which made locating the real thing far more difficult.

Kakashi's ninken continued to follow every trail, determined to find the right one, but each fail left them feeling more and more defeated. They seemed to just be chasing their own tails at this point, and the rest of them were unraveling because of it.

Especially Sasuke.

He was restless and agitated, and his temper constantly got the best of him. And he was having a difficult time finding a good outlet for it.

There are only so many trees you can destroy in a blind rage before it stops feeling like enough.

And Sasuke had definitely reached that point. He could feel it, the others could sense it, and the lack of sleep had finally pushed it to the edge.

Sasuke came to a sudden stop and his gaze shot over to where Kakashi and Obito stood whispering to each other. Neither worried about losing their person, or finding the shell of what's left after someone mercilessly tormented them. No. They didn't have to face any of that.

The thought sent Sasuke's blood boiling and what little control he still had over his anger finally snapped. He stormed over to the two, crimson bleeding into his onyx eyes with every step.

"You said your fucking mutts would find him" he spat. "And you haven't found shit!" His sharingan slammed into his eyes. "Why are you so fucking incompetent?!"

"Sasuke-" Sai walked over to him, hoping to calm the situation, but the raven wasn't having it.

"Fuck off, Sai. You don't understand a goddamn thing."

"Sasuke, that's enough."

The raven barked a humorless laugh. "You really think you have any say in anything I do, Kakashi? After what you pulled?" His eyes darkened. "Why the fuck would I listen to you?"

"Because this isn't helping."

Kakashi pushed himself away from the tree he had been leaning against, and took a step forward, naturally slipping in front of his brunette- protecting him from Sasuke's rampant rage. A detail Obito noticed immediately. One that sent a new rush of guilt pulsing through him.

"Kashi-"

Kakashi held up his hand, silencing his lover while keeping his eyes locked on the fuming raven before him. This wasn't something he could get Obito mixed up in. He would handle this himself.

"All of us want to find him, Sasuke. I understand that you're hurting, but now isn't the time to lash out at each other. We need to keep our heads. Panicking isn't going to get us any closer to finding him."

Sasuke clenched his hands into tight fists as he drew closer. "You expect me to stay calm about this" he said incredulously. "Why? Because you are? Do you really think you'd be any different if it was your scarred up Uchiha instead?!"

Kakashi's sharingan slammed into place as his mouth curdled beneath the mask. "Watch what you say, Sasuke."

"Maybe if you cared about Naruto as much as you cared about your little fucking traitor we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Kakashi moved fast, flickering out of view and instantly reappearing in front of the vindictive raven. He roughly grabbed him by the throat and jerked him forward. "I've warned you before, Sasuke. Say what you want about me, but I won't allow you to talk about him like that."

Sasuke glared up at the jonin, once again tempted to turn his Mangekyou on him. But before either of them could take it to a place they couldn't come back from, Sai- ever the reasonable one- stepped in.

He took hold of Kakashi's wrist and squeezed down hard, forcing him to retract his hand from Sasuke's throat. He immediately shoved the two apart- putting some much needed distance between them. "We definitely don't have time for this" he said firmly.

Sai turned his dark, seemingly-hollow eyes to the Uchiha. "You are angry, Sasuke, because you are worried about Naruto."

Sasuke bristled when he said his name, but he kept his comments to himself this time.

"But you are not the only one" Sai added. "All of us are worried, all of us want to find him. And we need each other to do it. Just like last time."

Sasuke's jaw tightened. "Then what do you suggest, Sai?"

Sai considered this for a moment.

"Let's split up" he said, deciding as the words tumbled from his lips. "Two teams. Each team will send a shadow clone off to join the other. If we find something, we'll be able to alert the others quicker that way. We can decide on which places we'll search and rendezvous at a point somewhere between them before heading in a different direction."

He glanced over at Kakashi, and watched the man give a small nod. Sai turned his focus back to the raven.

"Does that work for you, Sasuke?"

"Fine."

It was already quite clear to all of them how the teams would be split up, so they didn't bother discussing it. Obito created a shadow clone without comment and sent it off to join Sai and Sasuke, figuring Sasuke would be more responsive to him being there than he would be to having Kakashi anywhere near him right now. And Sai made the same call in return. The pairs quickly chose from known hideouts and the surrounding land, agreed on a time and location to regroup, and set off to continue their search.

None of them looked back.

Sai made sure to keep a decent amount of space between him and Sasuke as they leapt through trees, especially since that seemed to be a concern of his last time. He knew the raven was in a bad place, and he didn't want to make matters worse for him. Which was why he tried to keep quiet at first. People were often angered by the things he said, and he didn't want to say the wrong thing. And yet, despite his initial trepidation, Sai still felt compelled to ease some of the tension between him and his comrade.

So, he chose to take a chance.

"Sasuke..?"

Dark red eyes slid his way. "What?"

"When we find him.. are you planning on returning to Konoha?"

The raven gave him an indiscernible look then turned his attention back to the trees ahead. "I don't know" he muttered. "I guess that depends."

Sai tilted his head slightly as he considered his words. "Depends on what?"

"On what Naruto wants."

Sai's eyes widened. He was surprised to hear him say that, and without really thinking he put voice to it. He realized as soon as he said it that it could elevate Sasuke's temper again, but luckily he didn't seem all that angered by it.

Sasuke simply sighed, worn down by the constant reminders of his shortcomings. "I'm aware that I've been an asshole" he grated out. "Thanks for the reminder."

Sai thought over his words carefully this time before replying. "I didn't mean to be rude. I was just surprised since last time you.. you already had your mind made up."

"Yeah, well.. I've seen what that does to him."

There was something in Sasuke's eyes, an emotion that seemed.. heavy. Sai couldn't exactly place it, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with being incredibly sad. Maybe remorseful?

"I don't want to keep hurting him" Sasuke said quietly, like he was talking to himself and Sai just so happened to overhear him. "I can't keep making the same mistakes. He deserves better."

"And Kakashi? Do you think he feels the same way?"

Sasuke's eyes hardened. "I won't allow him to make the same mistakes either."

A thick silence fell between them for a while, the sound of rustling leaves the only relief from its presence. After a while, Sai found his voice again.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm."

"What do you think Naruto wants?"

The raven fell silent again, but not because he was ignoring the question. In fact, Sai's words were circling in his head over and over, deafening and insistent. Words that couldn't be ignored- refused to be ignored.

Words that he should have considered a long time ago.

"I think he wants someone to ask.." Sasuke said quietly.

"And to listen."

--

Naruto stared at the Uchiha, horrified by his response. "Itachi.. you regretted doing this before. Remember? This.. this isn't what you want."

The raven dropped his hand on the blonde's thigh, ignoring the way he tensed beneath it. "You're wrong, Naruto. This is exactly what I want."

Naruto used his forearm to shove his hand away, hoping that the physical contact would stop there. Knowing that it was wishful thinking at best.

"But I don't" Naruto argued, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. "You can't make me want this. I told you that."

"No. You told the other Itachi that."

A chill ran down the his spine. "The other Itachi.."

"You said so yourself, Naruto. That wasn't me."

The raven tilted his head, his eyes flittering across his captive's face- seeing the shock, the fear, searching for what he wanted to see in its place.

"That Itachi is long gone" he continued. "Maybe you didn't want to be with him, but that doesn't mean you'll feel the same way about me."

"But it is the same!" Naruto shouted. "Don't you get that?! I don't want to be here! I don't want to be with you!"

A vein in Itachi's jaw clicked into place. His eyes hardened. "That will change."

Naruto shook his head, forcing back the tears lodged in his throat. "It won't. I have someone I want to be with- and it isn't you. Please, if you really do care about me you'll let me go."

"Don't worry, Naruto" Itachi said smoothly. "In time, you'll forget all about Sasuke."

Naruto shook his head, blinking back tears as this new version of Itachi reached for him. He pulled away from his touch, but could only get so far. Those cold, nearly-lifeless fingers slipped across his cheek and tangled in his hair.

"Don't-"

"I'm not letting you go, Naruto."

Itachi leaned in as his voice dropped lower, a hushed secret between lovers. "I won't make the same mistake he did."

"You already have" Naruto breathed. "All of this, everything you're doing, this is exactly what he regretted! Trapping me in here, forcing me.. that won't make my feelings change. It'll just make me fucking hate you!! Nnghnn!"

Naruto groaned in pain as the fingers in his hair clenched into a tight knot. Itachi jerked his head back and rose to his feet to glower over him.

"I won't allow that to happen" he said darkly. "You'll love me, Naruto. If you know what's good for you, you will love me."

Then he released him and with one last sharp look he turned around and stormed out of the room, leaving the door wide open in his stead.

Naruto's heart slammed violently against his chest, making him breathless. He stared after him for a while, mostly to ensure that he wasn't coming back yet, then dropped his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes tight, pushing back the panic attack that was now threatening to completely overwhelm him.

When he felt like he had it mostly under control, Naruto opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Pained blues slid across the scarred wood, scrutinizing the bars of his enclosure. Wondering how long it would be before someone else managed to find it.

Sasuke.. he thought, calling out to his person once more- something he never thought he'd have to do again.

And yet, even after all these years, he was still that same damaged kid. Just as pitiful, just as powerless, and just as hopeful that someone will save him from his horrible life.

Hating that he couldn't seem to do it himself.

Don't leave me here with him, he thought, sickened by his desperation but unable to do anything else.

Please, Sasuke..

Hurry.