Chapter 6
Lisa had agreed to go home with Jack when she left the hospital. She wanted to leave the hospital, and she was willing to do what she had to do in order to do it. In the back of her mind, she was thinking about getting out and then working towards getting back to Fairfield eventually. She had no intention of staying at Heartland with Jack long term.
Jack was asked to come back to the room. He sat on the couch by the window. Dr. Choi resituated the chair so he could look at the couple. Looking at Jack, he said, "I've been talking to Lisa here about what kind of care she will need when she leaves the hospital. We don't want her to be alone with a head injury. Dr. Narayan said that you are prepared to be there for Lisa and that you have a big support system in place already."
Jack nodded. "Yes, I can help with anything Lisa needs. She's my wife. We do have a big support system at home. Even if I have to be away, someone can be there for Lisa. We live with our granddaughters and two of our great granddaughters. Our great granddaughter, Katie, is also Lisa's goddaughter. She'll be thrilled to help Lisa with whatever. Katie kept an eye on me after I got hurt recently. Lisa was trying not to nag me, so she sent other family members in to keep me occupied so I couldn't escape and do more than I should. Katie was often the person who came in to talk, show me her latest poem, or ask to play cards. I'm sure she'd be happy to do the same with Lisa when I'm not available."
Lisa started to speak, "What…," she paused for a second, looking nervous. "One question I have is where am I going to sleep? I may be your wife, but I'm not prepared to sleep in the same bed as you."
Jack was heartbroken as he was once again reminded about the state of his relationship with Lisa. "You will take our bed. I can sleep somewhere else. Even if you did remember me, I'd still probably be sleeping somewhere else due to your arm. I would be too afraid that I'd bump into you in my sleep and hurt you."
"I don't want to kick you out of your bed," Lisa countered.
Jack put up a hand to signal it was fine. "I really am okay with it. I just want you to be okay. I get that you don't view me as your husband. I'll admit that it's hard, but more than anything else, I just want you to be healthy and happy."
Dr. Choi had just let the couple speak but broke into the conversation. "It seems you have things figured out here." Jack and Lisa look at Dr. Choi. They had both kind of forgotten he was there. "I'm satisfied that you have people who can be there. Your arm may be the more obvious disability right now, but concussions need to be taken seriously as well. How is the pain in your head right now? I understand that the pain in your arm may be more acute at moments, but don't ignore any bad headaches either."
"My head hurts pretty bad at times, but the pain medication definitely makes it so that I can function. I have a feeling this guy," Lisa pointed her thumb to Jack, "will make sure that I am okay. I'm sure his granddaughters will make sure that I am looked after, too." Lisa laughed and said, "I guess they're my granddaughters as well. I can't believe that I'm a grandmother and a great grandmother."
Jack laughed as well. "Well, you and I both know that you are much too young for them to be biologically related, but in every way that matters, they're your family. In a lot of ways, you're more like a mother or a very close aunt figure to Amy and Lou and less of a traditional grandma."
"Hmmm, I like that idea," Lisa admitted.
"I thought you would." Jack looked at Lisa with eyes full of love.
Lisa looked away. She couldn't keep eye contact with Jack when he looked at her like that. It was just too intense. She nervously played with her blanket before saying quietly, "It's strange to me that I have a family here in Hudson. I'll admit that I don't hate the idea. I just haven't had that in a very long time. Or well, I guess I hadn't when we met. It seems like I've had a family for a long time now."
"You have," Jack replied.
Dr. Choi stood up, "Okay, I'm satisfied that you have a good care plan. My office will be in touch to schedule a follow-up appointment after surgery to make sure your concussion is healing. Good luck with everything in the coming days. I know this is all overwhelming, but you strike me as someone who can handle it."
After Dr. Choi left, Lisa had to sign all sorts of paperwork to get ready for the surgery. A nurse from Dr. Gabrielson's office went over what to expect after surgery and how to care for everything with both her and Jack.
Lisa's biggest concern was bathing. "How am I supposed to bathe if I can't use this arm?" she asked the nurse. "I don't exactly feel comfortable with Jack seeing me in any state of undress. I'm sure it wouldn't be shocking to him, but it would be to me right now." If she remembered being married to Jack, she was sure that she would be fine with whatever help he could give her, but now it was weird for her to think about.
"I'm sure Amy and Lou would be more than happy to help," Jack offered. "You would probably be more comfortable with a couple of women than with an old cowboy you don't remember."
The nurse gave Lisa a few tips on how to get clean and how to get help with getting clean while still being modest. She then dismissed herself from the room, leaving Jack and Lisa to talk about how they were going to deal with everything further.
Lisa had winced at Jack's last statement. After the nurse left, she said, "I'm sorry, Jack. I know this is hard for you, but look at it from my perspective."
"I'm sorry, Lis," Jack apologized. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."
Lisa sighed. "I know. It's probably going to happen again. We're both going to disappoint each other as we navigate this whole thing."
Jack wanted to tell Lisa that she could never disappoint him, but he didn't want to put any more pressure on her. He could tell she was feeling more overwhelmed by the prospect of leaving the hospital with him. He continued to be lost in thought about their situation when he realized that Lisa was speaking to him. "What? I'm sorry. I was distracted. What did you say?"
"I was just asking if your family, other than Lou, knows about my memory loss." Lisa was trying to prepare herself for the unknown situation she was about to walk into.
"Lou and Amy do. I'm sure Peter knows, too, since he's Lou's partner, but I don't know if everyone knows yet. Lou was going to tell everyone today when she got home, but I'm sure some of that depends on who was home at the time."
Lisa sighed. "I have to admit that I'm pretty nervous about it. What if they hate this version of me? What if I find the whole thing overwhelming?"
"Lis, they love you. Sure, it will be an adjustment for everyone, but you're family. We don't give up on or abandon our family. If Heartland is just too much, we can try and figure something else out, but give it some time. We'll get over the awkwardness eventually. Lyndy and Katie will be so happy to have you home. You're important to them."
She knew Jack was just trying to be encouraging, but it didn't help Lisa feel less stressed about everything. In an attempt to distract herself from thinking about her relationship with Jack, Lisa decided to ask about her work. "I've been so distracted by everything here. What's going on at Fairfield? Do they know what has happened to me?"
Jack was kind of thankful for a change of subject as well and eagerly responded, "They know you were in an accident and are in the hospital, but they don't know about the amnesia. Amy has been in contact with your stable manager, Edwin. She has worked with him in the past, and his daughter and her daughter are best friends."
"Edwin?" Lisa question. "I don't remember Edwin. He must be new."
"He is," her husband confirmed. "He started fairly recently and has been pretty good at his job. There were some growing pains in the beginning, but he's settled in nicely now."
"I'm nervous about meeting my staff. I don't suppose it would be possible to keep the amnesia from them, would it?" Lisa asked.
Jack stood up from the couch and looked out the window before turning back to look at Lisa. "You could try. I know you like to be professional with your employees and not share too much personal stuff with them. You run a big business, and you want to keep personal business out of it. They respect you for it, too. Amy may be the person to talk to about this. She has spent more time with your staff than I have."
Lisa nodded, "I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous about going back to work. I guess I'll talk to Amy about it once we meet again."
Lisa's nurse entered the room and was surprised to see Jack still there. "I know you were dealing with logistics for after surgery, but visiting hours are over. You can be here early before her surgery. We'll be getting her cleaned up tonight. You can arrive around 6:30. Just let them know that Lisa has surgery, and they'll let you in."
Jack stepped closer to Lisa and put his hand on her left shoulder. "We'll figure this out. I know you're scared and worried about how all of this is going to work. For right now, I'm asking you to trust me. I won't make you stay at Heartland if it's just too much, but I want you to give it a chance. No running at the first sign of discomfort. If you need space, I'll give you space. I just need to know that you're okay and if you run away to Fairfield, I can't do that."
Lisa looked up at Jack, surprised. "What? How did…I don't run away from things."
Jack smiled at his wife and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know you, Lisa. I know you're already planning your escape. When your business was struggling, you tried to keep it from me and sequestered yourself at Fairfield. It took me continually encouraging you and showing that I was there for you to get you to share information more freely. I love you, and I have for a long time. I don't say that to pressure you, but to let you know that I'm on your side. Always."
Lisa looked up at Jack with tears in her eyes. "I'll give it a chance. I just can't promise anything right now."
Jack nodded, "I get it. Now get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow."
Lisa leaned back against her pillow and tried to get control of her emotions. She had no idea what to expect in the coming days. Her pain was better, but she had a lot of emotions to deal with. She just needed to get through her surgery and get out of the hospital, and then she could figure everything else out.
When Jack arrived back at Heartland, he was greeted by Katie and Lyndy, who had run out to see him.
Lyndy ran at him full speed while shouting, "GG!"
Jack bent down to give her a hug. "Hi, Lyndy. This is quite the welcome." He stood up straight to give Katie a hug as well.
Katie leaned back from the hug and looked at her great grandfather with concern. "Hi, GG. How's Lisa doing? Mom told me about her memory."
"She's doing okay, I think. It's hard for her not to remember anything. Let's go inside. It's been a long day."
The three entered the house to see Lou folding laundry and Amy cleaning up the house.
"Hi, Grandpa. I got the sheets washed, and I'll change them the day she comes home. I also made sure Lisa had clothes to wear home from the hospital and around the house," Lou said as she finished up a load of laundry. "Oh, and where are you going to sleep? Everyone is home o, and Peter and I would take the barn loft apartment and give you my room."
Jack walked over to the fridge and pulled out a few grapes. "Lou, I'm fine on the couch. I want to be close in case Lisa needs anything."
Lou walked into the kitchen, "Grandpa, you can't sleep on the couch indefinitely."
Jack turned around to face Lou. "I know, but until Lisa is settled, I feel like I need to be close to her. I would rather sleep in the same bed, but she doesn't want that. She doesn't know me like that anymore. Plus, I'd be worried about jostling her arm anyway."
After grabbing a couple of grapes herself, she sat down at the kitchen table. "Okay, we can move around if need be. Peter and I can stay at the dude ranch if you need a bed. We have a cabin open."
Tim walked into the house just then. When he spotted his ex father-in-law, he lit into him. "Jack. Why didn't you tell me about what's really going on?"
"We were hoping that her memory would come back on its own. It hasn't come back at all, and she will most likely be coming home the day after tomorrow. I need you to not be your usual Tim self. No pressure and no invasive questions. She's already dealing with enough."
"My usual Tim self? What does that even mean?" Tim questioned.
Jack snorted. "It means exactly what I said. Okay, it has been a long day, and I need to sleep. Goodnight, everyone." Jack walked out of the room.
Tim tried to follow Jack, but Lou stepped in his way. "Just leave him be. Why do you have to push so much?"
Jack went into his room and shut the door. He stood there for a minute, taking in his surroundings. He looked at the pictures and at the things she had around the bed.
Jack could hear Lou and Tim talking in the kitchen. He knew they were discussing the whole situation with Lisa, but he wanted no part of it. He just wanted to be alone and go to sleep. He had to be at the hospital first thing in the morning.
Jack got undressed and climbed into his and Lisa's bed. He once again held onto Lisa's pillow, burying his nose into it. The smell of Lisa's shampoo and soap on the pillow permeated his senses, and he took comfort in that. He didn't have much else to take comfort in right now. Lisa was coming home soon, but it would be complicated.
To be continued